[music]
♪ Who put the frog in
The teacher's hair? ♪
♪ Who runs the class
When she's not there? ♪
♪ Who put the thumbtack
On her chair? ♪
♪ Nya, nya, nya
The Phantom strikes again ♪
♪ Who sprang a leak in
The brand new car? ♪
♪ Who put the worms in
The cookie jar ♪
♪ And firecrackers
In Dad's cigar? ♪
♪ Nya, nya, nya
The Phantom strikes again ♪
♪ Who gave the neighbors' dog
Away? ♪
♪ Who raised the icebox
Night and day? ♪
♪ Who pulled the hair
From Dad's toupee? ♪
♪ Nya, nya, nya
The Phantom strikes again ♪
[phone rings]
[leaves rustle]
Hello?
- Hello? [grunting, screaming]
- [snarling]
[screaming]
[woman on recording] Very good.
Now, if that's not the sound
of being a man, I'm deaf.
We're talking about laying
down the damn law
- and standing up for yourself.
- [car honking]
Oh, going the speed limit, huh?
It's funny, if I'm going
the speed limit,
and you're going faster
than me,
that means you're going
above the speed limit.
If you're done being nice for no
reason, I want you to scream.
[screams]
- Chapter five.
- [clears throat]
Let's all chant the word
"balls." Balls.
- Balls, balls, balls.
- Balls, balls, balls.
[music]
♪ I was just a poor boy Who
lived on acres Of badland... ♪
- [phone rings]
- Hi, this is Charlotte. Leave a message. Bye.
Hi, love.
Just want to let you know that
I am almost to my new post,
which is exciting.
Anyway, call me.
Would love to hear your voice,
you know, or don't.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
Actually, no.
I would like if you would
call me, please.
This is me saying
what I want, so there.
Okay, well, it's Finn.
Love you. Call me. Okay, bye.
[recording continues] Balls. It's healthy.
Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls.
[music]
♪ But I'm just a plowboy And you
couldn't love The likes of me ♪
♪ So goodbye, Joanna I've got
to see about My Texas tea ♪
♪ So goodbye... ♪
[radio DJ] Absolutely.
Good afternoon to you as well.
Well, if you've got no holes to
make, make some now,
as the storm is going to be
a big one.
We're talking about
a crippling...
Hi.
Where can I find the...?
Thank you.
- Mr. Parker, I told you...
- Well, excuse me, Miss Sherwyn,
I told you that
I'm here to listen.
It's Sherman.
See, it's just, I'm worried.
Now, this pipeline is a feat of human
ingenuity. I mean, look at this.
This is plastic, cradled in steel
laying underground in Portland cement.
I'll cut you a generous check,
easy as a signature.
- [laughs]
- And... What-what is so funny?
It's just the... It's the irony. I've got an
environmentalist staying on the second floor.
- See, I'm concerned that...
- Hon, hon, hon, I got environmental guys.
I got MIT guys that are smarter than some
environmentalist on the second floor.
Okay? They do
lots of impact studies, they...
- Hi, I don't mean to interrupt.
- Oh, no. Please do.
- Can I help you?
- Are you Jeanine?
Yeah, I... You must be
the new ranger.
[chuckles] Yeah.
I'm Finn Wheeler, US Forest Service.
- Oh, I'm Jeanine Sherman.
- Sam Parker, Midland Gas.
Oh, what a coinkydink.
- Excuse me?
- The pipeline, right? That's your project?
- It is.
- Yeah, I'm going to be stationed in Beaverfield
for the duration
of construction.
- Well, lucky me.
- Should it go through.
It will. I'm confident.
[Jeanine] Has to be
a majority vote, Mr. Parker.
[Finn] Sure is a lot
of beautiful nature here.
It'd be a shame to break grounds
so close to a national forest.
A man that doesn't
want to conquer nature
doesn't understand
how brutal it is, Ranger.
Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying
to be like, "Oh, It'd be a shame."
- I wasn't trying to make a...
- May I take your luggage?
Oh, uh, miss?
Yeah, uh, Jeanine, you know,
I can get that.
Nope. Breakfast is :
to : in the café,
and then we reopen again
at noon.
For now, I'm the only game
in town, food-wise,
open business, especially
with the storm coming.
What a night.
Yeah, I hear we got
a big one coming.
Probably overblown.
Local news guys just love fearmongering.
Hey, Jeanine.
We got café customers.
Do you want me to
take care of it?
No. I'm making sandwiches.
All of your pictures are...
I got.
Do you mind helping
the ranger get settled?
Yeah, you go run this place
'cause you're my damn hero, okay?
Hi, Ranger.
Oh, Finn.
Finn Wheeler.
You're the mailman.
Person.
Yeah, gender is a construct.
- Cecily.
- Hey.
Oh, I have mail for the ranger.
- Oh, [chuckles] really?
- Uh-huh.
Not littering.
I'm just excited.
Yeah, not judging.
Just watching it.
"I'm writing to inform you of Emerson
Flint's commercial trapping activity." Hmm.
[mumbles]
"Contact road authorities.
Sincerely, Dr. Jane Ellis,
PhD, DVM,
and professor of zoology,
and environmental studies.
Room ."
- Well, ka-ching, I've got a case.
- A case.
Yeah, I'm going to head over
to this guy, Flint's place.
Can I walk that?
It's a bit of a schlep,
yeah, but I can show you
'cause I have a delivery
out that way.
[stammers] If that's okay.
- It's totally okay. Okay.
- Okay.
- Hey, go ahead and...
- I'm just going to change.
...put on your ranger gear,
or on your steed, or... Okay.
- Okay. Yeah.
- Bye.
- [Finn] So you live at the inn?
- I do.
- Yeah, it's pretty sweet, right?
- Yeah.
I rented a room
when I first transferred jobs
thinking that I'd eventually get
a place in town, but I don't know,
two days turned into
four weeks,
and Jeanine wouldn't let me
leave, and so I was like,
"Oh, you want me to help
you tidy some rooms in exchange
for staying at your sweet-ass
mansh?" "Yes, please."
- A "mansh"?
- Mansion.
- Oh, right.
- Want some hot Beaverfield goss?
Uh, yeah.
So Jeanine's husband met a woman
at a bar and they ran off together.
Jeanine hasn't really been
the same since.
- Dang.
- Yeah.
Word is, they left for Belize.
- Ouch.
- I hear Belize sucks this time of year.
Unlike Beaverfield,
real f*cking sun shining.
[Finn] Should've packed
our snowshoes.
[chuckles] What?
People do that?
- What, snowshoeing?
- Yeah.
Oh, sure.
You know, fun fact,
not only is it the oldest,
but remains one of the most effective
means of traversing the ice,
and snow, of course,
because snowshoeing.
Wow.
Yeah, you're going to
fit right in at Beaverfield.
Everyone here is a little
questionable.
You know, the weather,
the people, everything.
Fancy.
[Cecily] Devon's a tech dude,
and Joaquim runs the yoga sesh.
They're all like an ex-city,
nature-loving, millionaire power couple.
You know the type.
Hi, boys, this is Finny,
the new ranger.
You just put the mail on
the marble table, thank you.
We're friends.
[woman] Yo, Cecily.
Yo, Gwen.
I know you got my starter
and my fuel injector.
- I don't, no, not yet.
- That's weird.
Sorry.
I ordered them like the fourth
of the last month
and by my algebra, it's been
like three whole weeks.
I'll keep an eye open for it.
Marcus. Marcus!
Wait, you are going to
want to see this.
- Damn.
- f*ck, Marcus.
- sh*t. [chuckles]
- What time is it?
- Sorry, babe. Huh?
- "Sorry, huh" is not a time, Marcus.
- Are you high?
- Baby, no.
Drinking and driving
is for dummies, honey.
Don't talk to me... There's strangers,
who is that? Hey, what's your name?
- I'm Ranger Finn Wheeler.
- [both] What?
He's a new ranger in town.
- [mumbling] Oh, that's ranger thing...
- What he say?
- That's that. Y'all both police?
- I'm Cecily.
We've talked many times.
Welcome to Beaverfield. It's a freak show.
Suck my d*ck. [babbling]
She had too much soda.
- Colorful couple.
- Yeah, quite a show.
- Eh?
- [Finn] Oh, my goodness, gracious.
- Proud of it.
- Yeah, they're in it for a big check from the pipeline.
[Marcus] It's not funny.
We're just renting here.
- How do you know all this stuff?
- [Gwen] A big bag full of cigarettes.
You're not actually insinuating
that you read people's mail?
- No, I'm kidding.
- It's a felon.
You're the new ranger, hello.
- And who's this?
- Stephen King's very own Trish.
- What? What did you say?
- I said, "Beaverfield's queen Trish."
Oh, uh-huh.
Hello. Trisha Anderton.
- Proud owner of Anderton Maple Flowers.
- Hey, nice to meet...
It's been in the family years and
everybody knows but crafting is my passion.
- Boo!
- Oh!
- [laughs]
- It's you. [laughs]
- It's a little pale me.
- Has anybody made you a snowfall angel before?
You put it on your Christmas tree,
do you have a Christmas tree?
- Well, not currently.
- Or do you celebrate Kwanzaa, put it on your Kwanzaa tree?
- No, such thing.
- I am going to open my own craft store
as soon as that pipeline
comes through.
Just mark them words.
Hello, hello, hello.
[both] One, two, three.
He doesn't get any attention ever
since little Chachi came into my life.
- Do you? [kisses] Look at this.
- Ooh!
There she is,
it's Cecily the mailman.
- No, thank you. Stop, stop.
- Ranger Finn Wheeler. Hey, how are you doing?
Hello, Ranger.
- Cool, never the left.
- Never the left. My kind of guy.
- It's not what he meant.
- [barks]
- [Finn] How are you?
- [Trisha] Come on.
Oh, I got something for you,
Ranger.
It's from our own private
reserve right there.
You guys, so many gifts.
The best syrup in Vermont.
Oh, my God, are you kidding my behind?
What happened?
Jiminy Christmas,
hippies knocked down our sign again.
Oh. It's Antifa.
I mean look at that. Great job,
Picasso, you put an X through it.
You're not going to stop
the pipeline.
Do you have this problem
in your last town?
- No.
- Brooklyn hipsters.
Yeah, you just give 'em
a big old knock
on the old craniums, right?
Oh, oh, arrest her, Ranger,
she's the one, lock her up.
Lock her up, yeah, lock her up,
lock her up.
Say goodbye, Chachi.
There's a new sheriff in town,
you're not really a sheriff.
No, you're not.
They seem cool, huh?
He boned Gwen in their
sugaring room.
- No.
- Yes.
That aggressive mechanic lady?
That's the one.
Whew. That's... That's a dish.
Now this thing,
what exactly is this?
Oh, this? This is Parker's
phallic fire totem.
He's stuck 'cause he needs a
majority town vote to build it.
Half want the pipeline cash and half
want to save the trees or whatever.
Anywho, I think the only holdouts
are Jeanine and the boys.
- Do you need a hand with that?
- Yes, please.
So you got a big family,
small family, no family?
[both chuckle]
No, it's just me and my sis,
how about you?
That's so lucky. No, there's seven of us.
I'm the youngest.
My sister and I were born
the same year.
Irish twins, same grade even, so it was like,
"You want a toy? Take it from somebody else."
This here, right?
You coming with?
Actually if you wouldn't mind,
you want to just
bring him that package
'cause Flint likes to
know who's around here,
so you could introduce
yourself.
Neighborly fellow,
my kind of guy.
- Thanks for the tip.
- [phone rings]
Hey, oh, just one last...
- Hello Charlotte, hello?
- You might want to read this.
Hello? Hello?
[stammers] Charlotte, hello?
I can't...
You're good.
Love, hello, can you hear me?
- Hell... Ah, crap.
- [phone beeps]
[recording] Hi, this is
Charlotte, leave a message, bye.
Hi, Charlotte, it's me,
it's Finn.
Glad I'm finally getting through,
it's so hard to leave a voicemail. It's...
I'll call you back.
Mr. Flint.
Mr. Flint.
[music]
[knocks]
Oh! Oh-ho! Ha! Oh, man.
Oh!
You have seconds to get
the f*ck off my property.
I'm Ranger Wheeler.
You're way the hell out of
your jurisdiction, Ranger.
- You see, I received a complaint from Dr. Ellis.
- Regarding?
Regarding concerns of possible
commercial trapping.
You can tell Dr. Stalin I make my
living legally on my own f*cking land.
It's called freedom.
Uh, you know, as long as you're
not doing it on US forest.
I don't recognize your job,
your stupid uniform,
or the government
you work for.
You're down to seconds,
nine...
- Oh, okay, yeah. Well...
- Seven.
Are you gonna keep counting?
I have a package for you right there.
Five, four, three.
He's armed!
He's heavily armed.
- Thanks for handling my package.
- Do you know this? Oh!
He's not my kind of guy at all,
which is the neighborly kind.
- Are you hungry?
- Huh? Maybe. I think.
Yes, this requires
active measures, come here.
I tried to warn you,
but I think you were on your phone.
[Finn] I was on my phone.
[electricity powering up]
I bring in their packages
in the winter
so I have full access
to the kitch kingdom.
- [chuckles]
- Right? It's pretty great.
It's awesome.
Do you want to put on
a song?
Oh, yeah, sure, on the jukebox?
Yeah, and I'll see if there's
something I can heat up.
- Okay.
- Okay.
It's a lot of ' s.
[Cecily] Huh?
It's a lot of ' ...
I'm just going to put something on.
- [dings]
- [powers up]
♪ Why do I bother ♪
- ♪ When you're Not the one for me? ♪
- [Cecily] Yes. I love this song!
♪ Is enough enough?
I saw the sign And it opened up my eyes ♪
♪ I saw the sign Life is
demanding Without understanding ♪
♪ I saw the sign And it opened
up my eyes I saw the sign ♪
So, what brings you
to Beaverfield?
Hard ball right from the top.
- I had an incident at work.
- Did you touch someone?
- No.
- 'Cause time's up, you too.
Yes, but I didn't touch anyone.
- Do you want to show me on the soap bottle angel?
- It's not about touching.
I'm sorry, yes, go ahead.
Some guys I know
convinced me to fish Grout Pond
without a permit and then
they posted it to social media.
- I mean, can you believe it?
- Dummies.
So a transfer was a way for me
to keep my job.
- And Charlotte thought
- Charlotte?
[stammers] Yes, Charlotte
my girlfriend.
She thinks that this situation
could be good for our relationship.
- How is that?
- Well, you know, she thinks that I am too "available."
Right, because women like men who
aren't, ahem, there.
But, you know, I figure I won't
need a whole year
and maybe, you know,
assuming nobody better comes along...
[fizzes]
Your first kombucha?
- Assuming that nobody better comes along.
- You will get back together or?
Well, technically,
we're not broken up.
- Ah, but you're not living together?
- No.
- You're not seeing each other?
- Not currently.
- You're not talking.
- There's texting.
And you're keeping
your options open?
Because Charlotte thinks that...
Oh, my God.
- I'm broken up, aren't I?
- I think so.
Want to do something
violent?
- [Finn] Ah!
- [Cecily] Wow.
I think it's like an English
axe, just weighted differently?
- They use a metric system.
- Yeah, I think that's what it is.
Oh! [kisses]
God, that was beautiful.
- I'm being hustled.
- You are, I'm a shark and this is a long con.
- Clearly. All right.
- Welcome to your worst nightmare.
All right.
- I'm Ranger Wheeler
- Hold on.
Before you do anything, just recognize
that you're holding a real m*rder w*apon.
- Yes. Acknowledged.
- And it requires some training.
Yes.
So just try to flip it one time and
then land it on the second flip.
Just like a flip and then it
lands on the second flip.
- Yeah, okay.
- Does that make sense?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You got this?
Okay. You got this.
- Oh, yes!
- Oh, yes!
- Up high.
- [chuckles] Yeah!
- Down low. Too slow, oh.
- How did I not see that one coming?
How did you get into
rangering?
- Rangering?
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's what we call it,
but you're going to freak, but I read that.
- My butt?
- N-No.
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- Walden?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, absolutely.
- You poet.
- Yeah, I was .
- It changed my life. Yeah?
- Yeah, it changed mine, too.
Bet you've been to all the biggies, right?
You've been to Sequoia?
- Been to Sequoia, I've been to Kings Canyon.
- Mm-hmm.
Been to Yellowstone?
Yellowstone.
I've been to Yellowstone.
You know, I camped out
a couple of nights
- in the township on the way up.
- Wow.
Yeah. You ever been to
Gallatin National Forest?
No, but I would really
love to go. Yeah.
You know, I feel, um,
most myself outdoors.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. It's a cool life you have.
Yeah, I guess so.
"A taste for the beautiful is
most cultivated out of doors."
- Walden?
- It's Walden. Yeah.
I want to stand with you
On a mountain
Hey, um, Ranger Finn.
Mailperson Cecily?
- I wanna lay Like this forever...
- Can I kiss you?
- Until the sky...
- [phone rings]
I'm so sorry. Hello?
Hello?
- I'm so sorry.
- Are you serious right now?
- Hello? Charlotte?
- Are you really really answering a call... Wow.
Hello? Yeah, hey. Uh-huh, yeah.
[mouths] I'm sorry.
Yeah, no. [stammers]
I'm just shopping.
[Cecily] Grow a pair.
Yeah, uh. Sorry. Wait, what?
[door closes]
Oh, no, you need
the actual AAA card for that.
Let's go outside and do
our business.
Yes, that's right, Chachi.
Yes, you are my good boy.
Poo-poo potty, please.
- [footsteps approach]
- [whimpering]
[gasps]
Chachi.
Ooh, boy.
Chachi, what in the hell...?
- [heavy footsteps]
- [gasps]
Okay. Come on!
[screams]
[screaming continues]
- Mrs. Anderton?
- It's the damn devil that ate my baby.
Devon found her like this.
I have a triathlon in
August so, you know,
: a.m. sprints,
and I heard screaming.
Well, let's be honest.
The whole neighborhood heard screaming.
I told you.
I didn't need your help.
I'm going to go
get a croissant.
My baby.
That monster k*lled my Chachi.
I'm so sorry, I'm confused.
Are we talking about a real baby?
Because if that's the case, oh,
my God, but if not, it's a dog.
For God's sake, Joaquin,
show a little respect.
It's Joaquim with an M.
I don't mean to be rude, Pete,
but your dog only barked at Jews.
And brown people,
no carbs for you.
[pants] There's something
out there.
Probably just a coyote.
Or a possum, hon.
Those are scary, huh?
No.
I'm so sorry for your loss,
Trish,
but everything in these woods
eats little dogs.
- I can't get on the internet.
- Calm down.
What do you think, Dr. Ellis?
Hi.
Uh, it's a little too early
to tell, Mrs. Sherman,
mainly because I literally
don't know what's going on.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Dr. Ellis, Jane.
I'm here to stop the pipeline.
A prominent environmentalist
who's staying here with us.
- Oh, Dr. Ellis. I got your...
- [Cecily] Oh, my God.
The power's out, like,
everywhere.
[Trisha wailing]
Oh, no.
Our poor Chachi
left us this morning.
Come here. Oh.
- Sorry, Trish.
- I'm sorry, too.
[Finn] Okay, everyone.
I'm going to go to town, and I'm going
to get the backup generators going,
log Chachi's death,
and get you back on the internet.
Oh, my goodness. What now?
- Jeanine.
- Yes.
You got to let us in.
Our cedars broke.
Hey, yo, just so you know that
the streets is all storm-f*cked.
Storm-f*cked.
- What did she just say?
- [Jeanine] I think he said...
- Storm-f*cked.
- Yeah.
I'll be right back.
[ominous music]
Oh.
Heavens to Betsy.
Heavens to Betsy.
What is this?
Holy sh...!
[Jeanine] Ranger, you look like
you just seen a corpse.
You're right.
Uh... The roads are effed.
- Yes, we just said that.
- Yes. No sh*t, dummy. We said it.
And something's wrong
with the generator.
Which generator?
- All of them.
- Wait, what?
- What does that mean?
- It looks like somebody went at them with like a Kn*fe?
- What the hell do you mean a Kn*fe?
- [overlapping voices]
[stammers] Is that what k*lled
my Chachi?
Might we put
the horror leash away?
What kind of animal is smart enough to go
around town, slashing all the generators,
but stupid enough to eat
your stupid Chachi?
Okay, you're over the line,
wolf city!
Why don't you use
your inside voice?
I'll use whatever voice I want.
Maybe I'll use my outside voice.
Okay, well,
if the power grid is out,
it's going to take at least a
week for the power to get back up.
- A week?
- Uh, also, there's a dead body under your porch.
[sobbing]
[stammers] I didn't want to
leave him on the...
So I left him on the table.
[screaming]
[Marcus] Aw, sh*t.
That's your husband, ain't it?
[Gwen] Didn't get to Belize
after all, huh, Dave?
- Ooh.
- This is definitely a canine.
- How do you know?
- Probably a wolf.
What are you, like, a wolf detective
now, Marcus? I don't think so.
He's right.
The leg muscles have been severed.
[Parker] It's a canine.
It's to immobilize their prey.
Accurate assessment
for a gas man.
Well, I used to do a little brown bear
hunting in Siberia. It's a beautiful animal.
[Marcus] Yo, lady,
you a wolf detective, though?
[Joaquim] Really good, Marcus.
Close, no.
- She studies animals...
- No, thanks.
[Sam] Tea toddler,
see for yourself.
Well, I'd, I'd take some
if you'd be so kind.
- [Trisha] grunts]
- [Parker] I would be.
What happened to Dave?
It's just so awful.
Anyway, um, lady doctor, do you think
what got Dave also got my Chachi?
If you'll excuse me,
I need to go compare these fur samples.
[Trisha sobs] Peter.
He don't stink 'cause
he froze up.
- Maybe we should just take it inside.
- [all] Yes.
- It's so disgusting.
- [Trisha] Now one body, there's two bodies.
[Parker] You know, nothing's gonna
get down that mountain but a snowplow.
[Cecily] Does Beaverfield have
a snowplow?
- [Gwen] f*ck yeah, we do.
- [Cecily] Good.
[Gwen] I just need that starter
and fuel injector I ordered.
- [Cecily] Oh.
- [Jeanine] Oh, there's a wild animal out there
and I don't wanna say it
out loud,
but who knows who or when
it's going to k*ll next?
Who she's going to k*ll next?
- I do not find that funny.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- [Trisha] It's a little funny.
- I have an idea.
This Flint guy,
he's an expert hunter, right?
- Oh, yeah.
- You could say that.
- Well, maybe we pay him a visit...
- And k*ll the damn thing?
Actually, I was going to say,
maybe h-h-he could trap it?
[overlapping voices]
You can't go by yourself,
man. That psycho, he's nuts.
- You could come with me.
- No, I'm good.
Anyone else?
We're trying to have
a baby.
[Jeanine] And my husband
is dead.
[Trisha] And Chachi also.
Cecily?
They can probably only
eat one of us at a time.
Uh...
You know,
if we had some snowshoes,
we'd be k*lling this walk right
about now.
We get it, you love snowshoes.
Yeah.
Thanks for coming with me.
It's really...
really cool of you.
Cool? Is it cool of me,
like "a friend way cool of me,"
or is it cool of me in like "a
girl you almost make out with,
but then don't because your
ex-girlfriend calls" cool of me way?
- Look, last night...
- No, Finn, it's fine. You're not over your ex.
Let's not make
a thing out of it.
Well, no, you're wrong.
You know?
Last night was very,
very big for me.
In like a sad way 'cause
you're with the wrong girl?
[stammers] No, because I was
with the right girl.
One who's smart
and beautiful.
True.
And interesting.
I'm listening.
Look, I blew it, okay?
There's no denying that,
and it's not because
I love Charlotte still.
[stammers] It's because
I don't know why.
Finn, you're a really likable
guy, and that's great.
A lot of people like you.
Not to sound too heteronormative,
but maybe Charlotte's right.
Maybe you should man up,
you know?
Grow a beard,
hair on your chest,
chug a beer,
yell at someone smaller than you.
I don't know,
yell things like, "Respect me."
I don't know what men do.
I try not to hang out with them too much.
[Sam] You do realize that we are
prepared to double the offer?
[Devon] I don't care if you
triple the offer.
We moved up here for scenery,
not your construction scheme.
No.
[Joaquim] And scenery requires having
a forest, which you don't F up.
[Pete] Well, you're really
effing up our people's dreams.
[Devon] Yeah, well, too bad,
Pete.
[Marcus] sh*t, I guess Trish
don't get her craft store, huh?
[Gwen] Craft store?
What about our freaking money?
- [Marcus] I don't know.
- [Gwen] Go ask. Ask.
Yo, P-Parker, so Gwen and I,
we want money.
[Parker] Oh, sorry, Marcus, if the vote
ain't unanimous, no one gets nothing,
unless you can convince
your neighbors otherwise.
[Devon] Are you deaf?
We are not going to sell.
- Sorry, neighbors.
- [Gwen] You suck. You both suck.
- [Devon] I suck?
- [Pete] You don't belong here!
[all arguing]
[Pete] You're liberal
snowflakes.
[Marcus] Y'all city slickers
suck.
- [knock on door]
- Yeah.
You got everything you, um,
need, Doctor?
Dr. Ellis, do I call you Doctor
or Dr. Jane or...?
Jeanine,
I have everything I need.
Thank you so much for
letting me set up shop in here.
Okay.
- You got enough power?
- Yep. I work in the woods.
- I've got some batteries.
- Okay, okay. Oh.
- Jeanine?
- Okay.
I'm going to find out what
k*lled your dead husband.
I have excellent samples,
and I'm going to get answers for you.
Uh, okay.
[tense music]
[door closes]
[whirring]
- Do you want me to knock or...?
- No, I got it.
- Are you scared?
- No.
- 'Cause I can hear your tummy.
- I'm not.
- Are you?
- No, I'm punk.
- You're in a punk band?
- I was, actually, in high school, yes.
We were called Megalodons 'cause
our lead singer's name was Meg.
- That's so cool!
- I know. I played...
Either of you care
to illuminate
what the hell happened
to my generator?
[Finn] Uh, so...
In conclusion,
what we're asking is that
you track this thing down and...
k*ll it?
[laughs]
- No.
- Okay.
Thank you for your time.
You've made yourself perfectly clear.
We're just going to
get out of your beard.
Mr. Flint, I understand that
you're proud of being tucked away
in the outskirts of this town, but,
you know, you're still a part of this town.
This thing is k*lling people
in the place where you live,
and the people of this town,
everybody's going,
"How the... How the heck are we
going to get rid of this monster?"
You know what? Everybody, every single
one of them, they all voted for you.
- It was really led by you.
- Cecily.
Don't touch that, please.
- Mr. Flint, Emerson.
- Emerson Flint.
People are afraid, and, you know,
no matter what their differences are,
people deserve to feel safe.
I guess what we're asking
is that you...
you be a good neighbor,
you know, like Mr. Rogers.
- Hey, I love him.
- Yeah.
- Mr. Rogers, huh?
- Yeah.
Who's that?
[both] Hmm?
It was all Jeanine's story, you
know, Dave running off and whatnot.
Welcome to Beaverfield.
Population, bunch of liars.
What are you suggesting,
Mrs. Anderton?
Pete,
you and Dave were tight.
Did he ever say anything
about going to Bailey's?
Nope, but you know
what's weird?
Jeanine's against
your pipeline, Mr. Parker,
but Dave was really excited
about it.
- [Trisha] Mm-hmm.
- Huh.
Wait, y'all aren't saying
that...
We just don't know
for sure now, do we?
sh*t. You know what
I can't get out of my head?
- [Trisha] Language.
- Tell me.
Come on. All of the generators are just
conveniently m*nled by some animal?
- f*ck off.
- [Trisha] Language.
Somebody did this,
a legitimately maladjusted somebody.
Mm, I don't know.
Dr. Ellis did say it was an animal.
- I mean, there was all those hairs.
- Mm.
Well, we definitely have some unknown
knowns and some known unknowns.
[scoffs] What's known is that
animals don't sabotage generators,
but guess what is covered
in hair and totally can?
A werewolf! [gasps]
No. No. Again, I wasn't...
I wasn't going to say that.
I was going to say...
Emerson Flint.
[Finn] "It's a Beautiful Day in
the Neighborhood," "Pink Friday."
Then he plays with puppets.
You know.
- Is it the land of make believe?
- I don't think so.
[Finn] Mr. Flint, I'm convinced this
thing is going to k*ll again, and...
Finn.
[Cecily] Chachi.
- Oh, my God.
- [Flint] I know, I know.
I'm not your man. Get out.
Understood. Uh...
You know, we're probably just going to
head back to the inn, save some lives.
- Make a soup.
- Mm-hmm.
[Finn] I'd die for one of
Jeanine's sandwiches.
- [Cecily] I don't want to die.
- I don't want to die either.
- That would be be terrible. [babbling]
- Good night.
- [Cecily] Oh, gosh.
- We have to just push.
- Is it jammed?
- You want to leave?
- Uh...
- It's fine. [babbling]
It's not opening.
I'm going in both directions.
You go ahead, please.
No, spare me.
[Finn] Oh, please don't.
Oh, please!
- Please don't bother the lock.
- Spare me there.
Think I couldn't do that myself?
I could have gotten that
myself.
But I appreciate it.
- He's definitely the m*rder*r.
- Keep your voice down, be normal.
- Hurry! I need warmth.
- What happened?
- [Trisha] What did he say?
- Emerson k*lled Chachi.
[all] What?
[stammers] Hold on a minute.
We don't know that for sure, Cecily.
Does that mean he k*lled Dave?
Does that mean he k*lled my husband?
He had Chachi's collar.
- [wailing]
- She does this a lot.
No! That's my child.
That bastard did! [shouting]
- Okay, okay! Shh! It's all right. It's all right.
- Peter!
She's just happy to have some
closure, and now we finally got it.
- It's Emerson.
- [bells jingle]
- Chachi just got his wings. Dave, too.
- [Cecily] Sorry, Trish.
Hey, Jeanine, what do you say we
open up a nice bottle of wine, huh?
- No!
- [Pete] Okay.
[Jeanine] Oh! Uh... Uh, okay.
- Well, maybe not that one, Pete.
- You want some, Gwen.
You're not one to turn away
a spicy rat.
- [Gwen] Why you f*cking touch my ass?!
- [Pete] Whoa, okay.
[Gwen] Keep your hands to yourself,
or I'll cut them the f*ck off.
[Pete] Must be
that time of the day.
[Marcus] Don't touch my wife's
ass.
[Jeanine] Can I make anybody
a sandwich?
- [Marcus] I'll take one.
- [Gwen] No, you won't.
[Trisha] Me, I want one.
[cries]
- [screams]
- Oh, my God,
that was an absolutely
horrible sound you made.
Dr. Ellis, are you okay?
Did you find the answers now?
That was fast.
[Ellis] I compared the DNA
samples.
The hairs from both
Dave's body
and Chachi's little outfit
are a match.
Everything about this predator
is unorthodox.
It's not human.
It's canine, but there are
no matches in the database.
I'm going to keep
running tests, but for now,
what I can tell you is I
don't know what this thing is.
Examining the body, it appears it
feeds like a dog or a wolf, meaning...
[Jeanine] Meaning that?
I want to know.
Meaning Dave was
probably eaten alive.
That's f*cking rad.
- [overlapping voices]
- Okay.
Everyone, hey. Everyone, hey,
can I have your attention, please?
- Find our way home.
- Between the power outages and the storm,
the whole Emerson thing,
I think we can all agree
that it's unsafe outside
and there's safety in numbers.
- So maybe we...
- We should stay here tonight.
[overlapping voices]
I'm with you, yeah.
I don't wanna go out and get ate.
- [both] Same.
- Jeanine, you got room.
You can put us all up,
can't you?
- No. It's just that... Well, I have...
- [overlapping voices]
Thank you so much,
Jeanine.
But some people
would have to double up.
Well, I mean, I think
that'd be fine, right, Cecily?
- Okay. Slow down.
- Uh, out of curiosity, who is packing?
I am, yes, sir, America.
sh*t.
Well, we're packing, dawg.
[Jeanine] I have Dave's hunting
r*fle if that would be helpful.
Oh, gosh.
I almost forgot. Um...
I got... It's teensy.
[stammers] It's a purse g*n.
- Excuse you.
- Okay.
You know, I think we should keep a
g*n in every room, just to be safe.
Hold up! This dude Emerson wants to
come down off his mountain-maniac ass
and eat our asses
and f*ck our skulls, guess what?
It's not going to happen tonight
because pam, pam, I'm up in this tit.
Yeah. Where my g*n goes,
I goes.
Same, and I am sleeping
with my wife
unless someone prefers that my
g*n stays in someone else's room.
Cecily, do you want
protection or...?
- I'm good.
- Thank you.
Uh, one more time,
raise your hand if you have a g*n.
It's tiny.
It's a purse g*n.
And if you don't have a g*n,
no g*n?
Marcus got my g*n.
Welp, we're having a good,
old-fashioned sleepover.
- With g*ns, though.
- With g*ns, yes.
Dr. Ellis, we just thought we'd clue
you in on the game plan for tonight.
Professor?
- You all right?
- I'm fine.
I just need more time to work.
Okay.
All right, everyone,
let's lock up.
[snores]
[bed rattling]
[screams]
- Pete!
- [screaming continues]
[snarling]
- Get off of me! [screams]
- [g*nshots]
What the f*ck is going...?
[screams]
[screams]
- [Trisha] Peter! Peter!
- We need more lights.
- [Trisha] Oh, my God!
- Can someone please look for my hand?
Hell, yeah.
I got you, bro.
- [Pete screams]
- You sh*t my husband.
- His hand has been bitten off!
- [Trisha] Oh, my God!
For God's sakes,
this is an animal att*ck.
Uh, no, I think he was sh*t,
too.
Oh, wow,
would you look at that?
- [Trisha] Okay, Peter.
- He's just in shock.
I stopped the bleeding.
He should be okay.
[Marcus] We would have heard him
come in.
How many times
did you fire your piece?
How many times
do you ask stupid questions?
Guys, it was obviously
an accident.
[Cecily] Accident or not,
we're obviously not safe. We need help.
- [Pete groaning]
- [Jeanine] Is he here?
[Jeanine] He didn't just
disappear.
[Jeanine] Dr. Ellis?
Dr. Ellis, are you okay?
Gwen, what was it?
Did you see it?
Didn't get a good look.
He was fast.
[Pete groaning]
[Trisha] We need to get him
to a hospital.
[Jeanine] We can't go anywhere
until the storm blows over.
- Marcus, don't touch that, please.
- I didn't. I wasn't.
I feel like I'm in one of those
dinner theater m*rder things
and I'm having a horrible time,
and I can't go home.
- I don't get it.
- [Devon] All right, babe, it's a nightmare.
What could have gotten
in here?
And how did it get in here?
How did it get out?
Who says it got out?
[Ellis] Okay.
It's not possible.
It's not possible. It's not possible.
It's not possible.
[Jeanine's voice] Did you find
the answers now? That was fast.
- [Pete's voice] No! No!
- [Ellis's voice ] It's not human.
It's canine, but there were
no matches in the database.
[Jeanine's voice]
Does that mean he k*lled Dave?
Does that mean
he k*lled my husband?
[Ellis's voice] I have excellent
samples, keeping the root alive.
[voice echoing]
I'm going to get answers
for you.
[voices echoing]
Dr. Ellis?
I told you,
she's probably tanked.
[Finn and Cecily gasp, scream]
[Ellis] Touch this door again,
I'll sh**t, again.
[Finn] Dr. Ellis?
Please.
- Look, we need answers.
- [Ellis] It didn't disappear.
[Gwen] What did she say?
[shushing]
- What?
- [Ellis] It's not Emerson Flint.
It's one of you.
[Joaquim] What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
Okay, well, we don't understand.
Can you just please come out?
I'm afraid I can't do that,
Ranger Wheeler.
You could be one of them.
- What is she...?
- [Joaquim] Shh, shh, shh.
One of what?
[glass breaking]
A lycanthrope.
- A what?
- A werewolf.
What? What is this, dumbass island?
She's drunk.
- She's a dumbass island, baby, you're f*cking....
- Shh!
- [Parker] This room got a back door?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
[Finn] Listen, hey, Dr. Ellis?
I know you're freaked out.
- [chuckles]
- Now I'm freaked out.
- I think we're all freaked out, yeah?
- [Gwen] Yeah. We're freaked out.
[Finn] But tell you what,
if you come out,
- we can all discuss this together as a group.
- Hey.
- [g*nsh*t]
- [screaming]
- [Ellis] Parker, no. Stay back.
- [Parker] Doc?
- [Parker] Put the g*n down. No!
- [g*nshots]
[body thuds]
Dr. Ellis, are you okay?
[music]
- She k*lled herself.
- [Joaquim] Oh, my God.
[Cecily] What? Wait. Oh, what?
She k*lled herself?
She was less afraid of death
than whatever happened to Dave.
[music]
All right. We searched again,
doors, windows, everything's locked.
Nobody in here but us,
for better or worse, y'all.
And remember,
nobody's calling the cops.
Everyone shut your stupid
whore mouths and listen to this,
"Complete set of humanoid DNA
overlaps with a complete set
of canine DNA." Blah, blah,
blah, boring, boring, boring.
Oh, "Not sure if this is another
species or evolution."
[Cecily] Well, it's not one
of those things.
Hey, though, real? My dead dad did tell
me an old folklore about the settlers
that used to run the werewolves
out of the woods.
Okay. Why are we even talking
about werewolves?
- Why not? Every culture's got a werewolf story.
- Werewolves?
That's true. The Vikings had the
ulfhednar, the Turkey has Kurd Adan.
Okay. Big daddy Sam Parker
dropping that werewolf knowledge.
When I was a kid,
my daddy used to kick my ass.
[all] Okay.
He also used to tell me
about the Wendigo.
He said he was coming to get me if
I was acting like a little sh*t.
- What's a Wendigo?
- It's a man-beast, st*lks the woods,
hungers for human flesh,
but is never full.
That's funny. That sounds like
a euphemism for white men.
- [chuckles]
- [Devon] You're funny, honey.
Thanks, baby. You know,
growing up in Argentina,
it wasn't uncommon for the
seventh-born child to be k*lled
because that one's
a werewolf.
But you don't do that anymore,
right, because that's crazy?
I think I know what this is.
Somebody's trying to scare us,
so cut the werewolf crap.
One of you in this house is
a bully and a m*rder*r.
Somebody is trying to take money from
honest, God-fearing, hardworking people.
One of you would rather terrorize us than
let Mr. Parker build his harmless pipeline.
- Oh, Jesus.
- One of you k*lled my dog.
One of you ate
my husband's hand, and for what?
To save some chipmunks?
- Trish, they tried to frack up here, and they log.
- Oh, Janine, shove it.
- It's no different than fracking.
- You need to listen to her.
You don't know what
the hell you're talking about.
You can't just buy people,
Mr. Parker.
Okay, we can't say that, okay, baby?
We have money, honey. Okay?
Who are we to tell these
people they can't take a check?
That's exactly right. Somebody's
terrorizing us to steal our damn money.
Hey, we're talking low-impact
construction here, people.
I don't let people f*ck with my money.
That's what I don't do.
Y'all suck!
Are we really in a Mexican
standoff, right now?
Baby, don't say Mexican,
just standoff.
[Marcus] Who's the bully?
Okay. Hey, everyone.
Everyone, please.
- We've got a su1c1de on our hands.
- You got little hands, bitch.
- And my husband is dead.
- I don't have little hands.
- Stop saying hands.
- Pete's missing a hand.
- I'm missing a hand?
- And my husband is dead.
- And also Chachi.
- Hey, look, I know tensions are high, clearly,
but can we all agree to lock our g*ns
away until we can figure this out?
Even you, Ranger?
Yeah. Yes. Even me.
Even though that defies all
protocol, sure, you know,
when... when werewolves are
within the house.
You got a point.
I mean, Dr. Ellis is right.
Any one of us could be
a suspect.
[music]
I say we put our heads together
and smoke the fucker out.
You're smart.
You're so smart.
[music]
sh*t, y'all. Hey,
Trish has the most motive here, I think.
Cuz... Yeah. You hated Pete ever
since my girl Gwen f*cked him.
[Pete] I'm missing a hand.
First of all, that was four years ago.
Also, it never happened.
This conversation is foul.
- Why would I even bite off Pete's hand? That's...
- Payback.
- Well, what...?
- And you, you said you were going to cut off his head.
- You actually said it.
- [Gwen] Why don't you just admit it?
- [Trisha] What? You're a creep.
- Your husband's a creep.
- You're the creep.
- Fine.
[Pete laughs]
[Pete cackles]
[Pete coughs, continues
cackling]
No, I'm not a creep.
I'm a werewolf.
[laughs]
Maybe you're a werewolf.
You're a werewolf,
you're a werewolf,
you're a werewolf,
maybe we're all werewolves!
Maybe I ate my own hand!
[gnaws] Ow!
You didn't eat your
own hand, hon.
Uh, okay.
Yeah, look, maybe we're just
a little on edge.
Frankly, I'm a bit on edge
about Mrs. Sherwood.
- [Gwen] Yes.
- [moans] Oh, my goodness. It's Sherman.
[Parker] Yeah. Well,
Mr. Sher man was in favor of the pipeline
coming through this stinky
old inn now, wasn't he?
- [Trisha] That's right.
- It's not stinky.
Your husband wanted to sell,
and your story about him is suspect.
[Trisha] That's right.
That's right. That's right.
Don't go easy on her,
Mr. Parker,
because, you know, you forget that
we found her dang husband's body
- underneath her own dang house.
- Right.
- If I could just say one thing...
- You know, I'm sitting here and quite honestly,
- I'm just gobsmacked.
- Oh, you're gobsmacked?
By of the accusations that
are flying around this room!
You know, I didn't k*ll
my damn husband.
I'm not a damn "lycantrope,"
whatever.
- Lycanthrope.
- Well, whatever, I am not one of those.
I'm not a cockamamie wolf.
I didn't k*ll my husband.
[cries]
Dave said he left me because...
[sobs] I let myself go.
That's crazy.
You look so, so good.
- You have clothes.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's a bit of a reach.
- Is that why you ate him?
[Parker laughs]
- Uh, if I could just say one...
- What about you, Mr. Parker? Aren't we suspicious of him?
And how do we know
you didn't k*ll Dr. Ellis?
Why am I the only one
bringing that up?
Am I the only one that finds
that suspicious?
The g*n was in her hand,
hon.
You gave her your flask.
She didn't want your damn booze.
This man,
he is a newcomer.
He wants our land.
He's trying to buy us out
with all his money.
- What's wrong with that?
- [overlapping voices]
- Let me just say one thing...
- What about Ranger Wheeler here, and Cecily?
- I mean, they're newcomers.
- Oh, whatever.
We're innocent AF,
and you know it!
We blindly walked into this
weird-ass horror show of a town.
[Jeanine] Yes, sticking your
nose in these people's business
with your money
and your fancy booze.
- All right, I'll say it again, lady!
- You are a dangerous man.
[arguing continues]
- [glass breaking]
- That was Royal Crown Derby.
Look, I know it's easy to get caught
up in the fear of a fear situation,
but can we all just take
a breath and remember
what we wanted out of this
community when we moved here?
- Yeah, like... Like you, Trish.
- What?
- I mean, we know that you're devastated by Chachi.
- Yeah, I am.
- It really sucks.
- But you made us all those...
- Soap bottle angels.
- Yeah, those.
I mean, I don't know
about anybody else,
but that made
me feel amazing.
- I still keep mine on the mantel.
- Yeah, to my dismay.
And Devon, look, I know you feel that
everything bad came in with Parker,
but, you know, some of your
neighbors aren't tech millionaires.
You know, a little extra money
would mean a lot of them.
Well, we're not actually
millionaires.
- Well...
- Are we?
- Maybe. Yeah, we're rich.
- Oh.
And Janine, you've been so generous
in spite of all your grief.
I know it's easy to point the
finger and fear each other.
At its heart,
this is a community,
you know, one that agrees
about more than it doesn't.
You know, hard work.
Be a good neighbor.
Warm place to meet,
have a sandwich.
Love.
All I'm asking is that
we remember our common...
our common humanity.
And we just hold off on being enemies
till we've all had a little sleep.
[Gwen] f*ck that noise.
I saw what happened to Pete
and I saw what happened to Dave
and I'm not gonna stick around and
let that happen to me and Marcus.
- Let's go, Marcus.
- Hell yeah.
[Marcus] It's safer out there
than it is in this hellhole.
- f*ck your house.
- [cuckoo clock chimes]
So I hope y'all dildos
get eaten by a wolf.
- [door closes]
- Okay. Well, this is where I also go my own way.
I had just about enough
of this town, huh?
[door closes]
Once again, fear and intolerance
has reared its ugly head.
We are going to wait this out
at home
or at least until the cops
get here.
Say goodbye to your
stupid craft store, Trish.
Oh, okay. Petey boy, let's get you
home, hon. Come on, come on.
[both grunting]
[Trisha] They're gonna get theirs, hon.
They'll get theirs.
[both laugh]
[Trisha] They'll get what's
coming.
- They'll get what they deserve.
- [Pete] Ow!
[music]
Hey.
How are you going to
protect yourself?
Oh, uh, got my trusty
bear spray.
- Okay, good.
- Yeah. All right.
[music]
[hammering]
[car alarm chirps]
[growl]
- [distant scream]
- [gasps]
Oh! [pants]
There's something
in Parker's room.
[all screaming]
I'm sorry! Oh, God. What now?
[stammers]
Janine, just, uh,
go to your room, lock your door.
Don't come up for anybody, okay?
Okay.
- I thought he left.
- Me, too.
Looks like Parker left
that window open.
[music]
Hey, Finn.
Yeah?
Did you say you were
at Grout Pond and Townshend?
[Finn] Yeah.
Why?
[Joaquim] Are you seriously giving
me the silent treatment right now?
[Devon] You seriously wanna go back to that
chicken sh*t madhouse with those people?
[Joaquim] Oh well, I'm sorry,
babe, but sue me, okay?
You know what they say,
safety in numbers.
Yeah, more like not safety
in numbers.
- [twig snaps]
- [Joaquim gasps]
- What was that?
- It's okay. It's okay. We're okay.
- Watch your step.
- [Joaquim gasps]
- Who's there? Who's there?
- [Devon] Who is that?
- Let's go. [screams]
- [growling]
Hey, Cec.
What's that smell like?
Diesel.
- The generators.
- The generators.
[Joaquim screams]
This isn't funny!
- Hey, stop f*cking with us.
- I'll f*ck you up so hard.
- [Joaquim] Baby, let's go. Let's go.
- Shh.
- [Joaquim gasps]
- [both scream]
[Finn] Wait a minute.
What the heck is this about?
- Oh, my God. [chuckles]
- What?
[Cecily] Townshend,
Grout Pond, Beaverfield.
- Joaquim!
- Parker's tracking the att*cks.
Oh, sh*t. [grunts]
I'm going to go check
the barricade.
[clattering]
What was that?
[groans] You?
I know, hon.
Trish. What the f*ck?
Maple tap.
It's where the sweet stuff
comes out.
What?
I want my craft store.
[gasps]
[Parker grunts]
[cuckoo clock chimes]
[music]
[creaks]
[Parker] Hey!
[Parker] You're probably
a bit confused.
And why is this gas guy wearing
a bunch of fancy hunting gear?
I always hunted as a hobby,
but when Ellis said one of you could
be a lycanthrope, a werewolf...
Well, news of this predator around the
state suddenly made a whole lot of sense.
- Are you okay? Yeah.
- Yeah. Are you?
- [hisses] Hi.
- [Cecily screams]
Why is that Parker dressed
like a scary cowboy?
- [Cecily] I think I just pissed my pants.
- Sorry.
We were being chased, and then we got
separated from each other, but then...
Wait, are you guys...
Why are you guys hiding?
Parker thinks
he's hunting werewolves.
He sabotaged the generator.
- Where's Devon?
- I don't know.
We were... We were together,
and then we got separated,
and then I got lost,
and then something's out there.
Something's out there,
I think.
- I think he got him.
- Where was this?
It was by Trish's house.
If I know Devon, he probably
came here for safety,
so he's probably in here,
right?
- Devon?
- [Cecily] Ssh! What are you doing?
Oh, yeah, you're right, you're right.
I'm sorry, I won't do that.
- Devon, baby!
- Ssh!
- [Finn] Joaquim, stop!
- Devon! Baby, is that you?
- [Finn] Hey, wait.
- Baby.
Boy, you just had
to be strong.
Now you're dead.
But...
Marcus?
Marcus, what the hell
are you doing?
What are you doing?
What am I doing?
That's easy, Ranger,
what am I doing?
I taped... I taped knives to my
hands, and then underneath,
it's just my hand,
but it's deadly with the knives on it.
And I'm going to steal
everybody's sh*t
and then I'm going to make it
look like a werewolf did it.
Well, if you end up being the werewolf,
that's a big f*cking disappointment.
- Right?
- Okay, Marcus, I see you have some knives.
- Back off!
- [Cecily screams]
- That's my work shirt.
- Stay back! Stay back!
Maybe I'm the werewolf,
maybe you became the werewolf.
Weren't you a werewolf part-time,
m*therf*cker? Weren't you a werewolf?
I'm the full-time werewolf,
bitch.
- Is there even a werewolf?
- I don't know, I don't have to answer your questions, bitch.
- [pot breaking]
- [Cecily screams]
[cackles] You little
b*tches can't catch a cold.
I said, don't see you,
don't want to be you, now, little punk.
You guys probably are
so dead right now
'cause I'm your only friend, really, if you
think about it. Don't get eaten. [howls]
- Marcus, let's go, brainless!
- [g*nsh*t]
Got you, homewrecker.
- Yeah, this town's bat sh*t.
- Let's go inside, out the back, let's go out the back, please.
[Joaquim] She still has
her tiny BB g*n! f*cking bitch.
That's very rude.
My house, you're trespassing.
Trespassers will be sh*t on
command, they will be sh*t on sight.
No. Oh, I know another way in.
- [hisses]
- [gasps]
- [Trisha] Nobody move.
- What is she, Michael Myers?
What? Wipe your feet.
See, clean. Wiped.
- Super, they're so clean, right?
- [mumbling]
Listen, back up!
Just keep moving back.
- Come on. Watch where you're going.
- [Cecily] Hey.
Happy family, line up,
line up.
You people do not
belong here.
You don't belong in this town,
in this house,
and you sure as Shinola
don't get to tell me
what to do with my property.
Trish, did you do
something to my husband?
- Did you k*ll Devon?
- Oh, I don't care what you do in your own home.
Your little husband should have
kept his nose in his own beeswax,
and you all should've let
Mr. Parker build his pipe... Peter!
Peter!
What did you do?
Peter, no.
- You k*lled Peter.
- You k*lled my husband.
[gasps] Is she okay?
She's okay.
Trish?
[gasps]
Let's leave, please.
Okay, Ranger, put on your ranger
hat, what are we doing?
All right. Well,
we're going to take Marcus' truck
as far as we can, uh, you know, maybe fi...
Ugh! Sorry, Marcus.
- Sorry, Marcus.
- And find some snowshoes, and get the heck off this mountain.
- [Cecily] Dude loves snowshoes.
- [Finn] Well, it's the oldest,
most effective means of traversing
ice and snow... Oh, God!
- Is that...?
- [Cecily] Parker.
Why is he you hunting?
Why are you hunting us?
Ssh! I don't know. You know?
Cec was the youngest of seven,
you guys are blocking his pipeline,
and I'm the pain in the ass
sent to give him a hard time.
So he could be hunting
any of us.
[Finn] But it's not any of us, 'cause none of
us has seen any actual evidence of a werewolf.
- [Cecily] Finn.
- No, yeah, good point.
Ellis was taking all those hair samples with
that machine thing. I mean, science, am I right?
It's just,
something doesn't add up.
[Cecily gasps]
Joaquim,
what are you doing, man?
She's a seventh born.
I mean you said it your g*dd*mn
self, Ranger, didn't you? Okay?
We're not crazy. Okay.
We're not crazy. [laughs]
- Kinda...!
- No, we're not, okay?!
You're the f*cking werewolf!
Okay? She's the werewolf, okay?
- So we have to... [pants]
- Please put the g*n down, okay?
I can't, okay?! I can't!
- Because I live in Argentina, the seventh born is a werewolf!
- It's just superstition!
Shut the f*ck up, girl, [cries] I love
you so much, I have to k*ll your ass.
I know it's been a long,
long day.
I know, right? [cries]
Maybe just put the g*n down
because... [screams]
[Cecily screams]
Ow.
[Cecily] Finn, what do we do?!
What do we do now?!
[Finn] Okay. [grunts]
- Start the truck.
- [Cecily whimpers]
[whimpers]
- Finn, it won't start!
- Try again!
I'm f*cking trying!
[engine sputters]
- [screams]
- Let's go, darling.
- [Cecily screams]
- Fight me, come on.
[Parker] Family of four,
mauled to death in Townshend.
Couple of college kids
m*nled in Grout Pond,
all around the same time
that you were there.
Then you came to Beaverfield.
Yeah, you put yourself in
charge, you discovered Dave,
now that's a... [laughs] that's a bit
obvious, don't you think there, Ranger?
[Cecily crying]
Finn, what's he talking about?
[grunts]
[Finn] Come on, Cec.
- He sabotaged the generator.
- No, that was you, Ranger.
See, I found a diesel-drenched
Kn*fe in your room.
I... We found that in your room,
it's not possible.
I don't know what to believe.
You pitted this community
against itself
with your promises,
your money.
You brought out the worst
of these people.
There's no animal
on a k*lling spree.
There's no monster.
The only monster here is you.
Maybe you're right.
Well, better safe than sorry.
- [screams] No!
- [grunts]
[yells, grunts]
- Finn! Finn, look out.
- Cecily, are you okay?
[both grunt]
[Cecily] Finn!
- Eat some silver!
- [Cecily screams]
[screams]
[Cecily] Yes! Yes! Finn!
Get up!
- Finn!
- [grunts]
[Joaquim] Excuse me, Mr. Parker.
Your pipeline is trash.
- f*ck.
- [g*nsh*t]
That was really f*cked up.
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
Hmm. Power is back.
Ooh, that's not good.
Oh, my God, Finn. Okay, come on, we got
to get you inside, let's go, let's go.
- Come on. Come on.
- Oh.
[grunts] Oh, this is much worse
than I thought.
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
You know what?
- I'm gonna go get the first aid kit, okay?
- Okay, I'm dying, I think.
No, you're not going to die.
You're not going to die.
Hey, can you promise me
that you're not going to die?
'Cause it would probably traumatize
me for the rest of my life.
And also, 'cause I, um...
I really like you,
and I, um... I'm very grateful
that you saved my life,
so you're not
going to die, okay? Okay?
- Okay, Say, "okay." Say, okay. Okay. Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
Okay, I'm going to see
if the phones are back up.
[faint whistle trills]
[whistle continues]
[Parker's voice] You know, nothing's going
to get down that mountain but a snowplow.
[Gwen's voice] Just need that
starter fuel injector I ordered.
[music]
[whistle ringtone trills]
It's you, isn't it?
[bones cr*ck]
- Were you even in a punk band?
- Yeah.
We just didn't actually
break up, though.
- You ate them.
- I ate them. Yes.
Oh, come on, Finn, didn't I seem
a little too good to be true?
No.
[stammers] You seemed great.
Oh, no, Finn, help me. What do we do now?
The car won't start.
Finn, Sam Parker has me by the hair.
That's great?
Don't yell at me.
That's not yelling.
That's taking a tone.
This is yelling.
[howls]
- You're really a...
- Werewolf.
Yeah.
Werewolves are real.
Women who raid Walden
while drinking kombucha,
and getting turned on by your
Yellowstone stories, they're a fantasy.
[whistle ringtone trills]
- [Dave's voice] Hello?
- You k*lled Dave.
- [screams]
- I needed an outfit.
There can only be
one postal worker.
It was really
a districting thing.
You ate Trish's dog.
My baby.
- And you ate Pete, his hand.
- [screams]
[Pete screams] I was att*cked!
Some men do this thing
when they want to guide you,
where they put their hand
on your lower back.
I hate that.
- Cecily, the mailman.
- No, thank you.
- Should've bitten off both hands.
- Why couldn't you just hunt?
Which is a brilliant idea,
you think I didn't try that?
[men screaming]
I did. It was exhausting,
but Beaverfield is perfect.
There's lots of festering
resentments,
made all the spicier
way by this pipeline drama.
I don't let people f*ck
with my money.
All I had to do was plant
a tiny little doggy's collar...
[Cecily's voice] Emerson k*lled
Chachi.
...spread a couple of rumors.
[Parker's voice] I found a
diesel-drenched Kn*fe in your room.
Everyone else just took care
of themselves with their fear,
and greed, and their own
petty nature.
I mean, I'm going to eat them
later,
and I knew there'd be that
snowstorm but that road blockage,
mm, baby, just... [smacks lips]
Hmm. You almost blew up my sh*t,
though, you know that, right?
I kept trying to turn you into one of
them, but you're pathological.
And what is my pathology
exactly?
You're too f*cking nice
with your kumbaya speeches
and your small town, "Gee,
golly goodness." Blow me.
This town is full of two-faced
assholes and you know it.
You're a monster.
Girl's got to eat,
and I got dinner on ice until spring.
- [laughs]
- What?
You mock me for being nice.
This whole time, you've been
mocking me for being nice,
but... but you know what?
I got to tell you, I'm a nice
person, all right? I'm considerate.
I'm compassionate. I care. People want me to
change, but there's nothing wrong with me.
I'm a nice person who wants to
do nice things for other people
and have nice people do things
for other people. You know?
Sorry, I got to tell you,
it's f*cking okay to be nice.
Pardon my language,
it's effing okay to be nice.
How's that for... for, you know,
kumbaya bullshit?
Well, in a dog-eat-dog world,
you could be nice,
or you could be me.
[groans]
- Heavens. Oh, f*ck.
- [growls]
- Cecily?
- [roars]
- [snarls]
- [clangs]
Emerson,
what are you doing here?
Being a good neighbor,
you know, like Mr. Rogers.
- I just...
- [roars]
Oh!
[growls]
- [snarling]
- [grunting]
Oh, no!
- Oh!
- [Cecily growls]
- [glass shatters]
- [objects clatter]
[snarls]
[glass shatters]
♪ I saw the sign ♪
- ♪ And it opened up my eyes I saw the sign ♪
- Wolves.
- [snarls]
- [yells]
[grunts]
- [grunts]
- [snarls]
- Hey, all right!
- [growls]
- [snarls]
- Oh, sh*t!
Whoa! [grunting]
- [whimpers]
- [grunts]
- [Finn yells]
- [gasps]
[yells]
What?
[nervous chuckle] What?
[groans]
- [footsteps thud]
- [Emerson groans]
[Emerson] Give me a hand,
will you?
[both grunt]
Thanks.
You all right?
You saved my life.
Yeah, well.
I like what you said back in
my cabin about, uh, community.
That was, uh, nice.
You hungry?
Starving.
You think Jeanine's still alive?
Maybe.
She could make us
a sandwich.
[laughter]
[snarls]
[crossbow cocks]
Make your own damn
sandwich.
[music]
- ♪ I found love ♪
- ♪ Didn't even know I needed it ♪
- ♪ But I found love ♪
- ♪ Never even crossed My mind ♪
- ♪ I found love ♪
- ♪ Had a garden Never weeded it ♪
- ♪ But I found love ♪
- ♪ Took an apple Just in time ♪
♪ I found love in the fall ♪
♪ And it did not hurt at all ♪
- ♪ I found sunlight And flowers ♪
- ♪ Soft summer showers ♪
♪ I can feel my heart touch
My Adam's apple ♪
- ♪ I can feel A feather in my head ♪
- ♪ In my head ♪
♪ There is a lightness
Politeness ♪
♪ Fingers tingle
Tootsies tap ♪
♪ 'Till dawn comes
And finds me never in my bed ♪
♪ Love, didn't even know
I needed it ♪
- ♪ But I found love ♪
- ♪ Never even crossed My mind ♪
♪ I found love in the spring ♪
♪ And I did not lose a thing ♪
♪ I found love in the fall ♪
♪ And it did not hurt at all ♪
- ♪ I found sunlight And flowers ♪
- ♪ Soft summer showers ♪
♪ I can feel my heart touch
My Adam's apple ♪
- ♪ I can feel A feather in my head ♪
- ♪ In my head ♪
♪ There is a lightness
Politeness ♪
♪ Fingers tingle
Tootsies tap ♪
♪ 'Till dawn comes
And finds me never in my bed ♪
♪ Had a garden
Never weeded it ♪
- ♪ But I found love ♪
- ♪ Took an apple Just in time ♪
♪ I found love in this world ♪
♪ And my heartstrings
Just unfurled ♪
♪ I found love in the spring ♪
♪ And I did not lose a thing ♪
♪ I found love in the fall ♪
♪ And it did not hurt at all ♪
♪ I found love in this world ♪
♪ And my heartstrings
Just unfurled ♪
♪ I found love in the spring ♪
♪ And I did not lose a thing ♪
[somber music playing]
Werewolves Within (2021)
Moderator: Maskath3