[Upbeat rock music]
Triple double, courtesy of America's favorite burger chain.
Louis won the class-action suit?
♪ 10,000 men of Harvard want victory today ♪
All: ♪ for they know that o'er old Eli ♪
♪ fair Harvard holds sway ♪
♪ so we'll conquer all old Eli's men ♪
My favorite part.
You don't know the lyrics, do you?
I don't even know the lyrics, Louis.
Now are we practicing law down here, or auditioning a chorus line?
It's called esprit de corps.
And I just got a $100 million jury award overturned.
I don't have to overturn awards like that because I've never lost one in the first place.
So what is this, a new cologne or just a hint of jealousy?
I'm surprised you, uh, don't recognize your wife's perfume.
I know, you're not married.
It's still funny.
You do realize we're celebrating making fat people even fatter, right?
If you wanted to do good, you should've been a fake doctor.
My mistake is now official. Come with me.
And learn the goddamn lyrics to the Harvard song, will ya?
Oakhurst Capital has agreed to a $200 million licensing deal.
We are at the goal line.
How are we on brand protection?
The contract is airtight.
The only issue here is to get the Joyful Toy Company to close.
I'll go over it with Joy one-on-one.
Protocol in a meeting is to put your phone on silent.
And if it does ring, you answer it.
Not in here.
Don't feel the need to rush back when you're done.
Who is this?
Dude, it's Trevor. Don't hang up.
I only get one call.
I'm in jail.
I--I tried to hop this bus at Port Authority.
I was drunk. It's all messed up.
Look, I know we haven't talked since we fought, but I didn't know who else to call.
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna pay you back.
Yeah, you better.
Your bail cost me everything I have in the bank.
The thing is, I don't have the money.
What are you talking about?
You're clearing $10,000 a month selling weed.
It went out as fast as it came in.
I quit. I'm not dealing anymore.
After we fought, I don't know.
Things just started to fall apart.
Jenny broke up with me.
I didn't know.
Well, I just realized I needed to make a change.
Even sold my bong.
What have you done with my friend?
Yeah. You should talk.
Look at you. You look like Gordon Gekko's little brother.
What, are you working on Wall Street, man?
Why'd you call me, Trevor?
You're the one person I knew would show up.
You want to ask me for anything...else?
Look, all I care about right now is keeping my record clean.
You don't happen to know any good lawyers, do ya?
No. I don't.
♪ Suits 1x05 ♪
Original Air Date on July 21, 2011
Ima Robot's Greenback Boogie
♪ See the money wanna stay for your meal ♪
♪ get another piece of pie for your wife ♪
♪ everybody wanna know how it feels ♪
♪ everybody wanna see what it's like ♪
♪ living in a beehive, I don't mind ♪
♪ being busy, so I'm busy, busy making money ♪
♪ all right ♪
♪ yes, hey, hey, I like to dance ♪
♪ the greenback boogie ♪
[Loud rock music]
♪ I don't have to be a hero ♪
Why the rush now?
You've already wasted ten minutes of my life.
Please tell me you didn't wait ten minutes just to scold me.
I've been waiting for you to bring the paperwork down so I can close a nine-figure licensing deal.
If your phone rings while I'm talking to Ray, I'm throwing it out of the car while it's attached to your hand.
Eddie Hope and the Mannish Boys. 1959, three guesses.
♪ Won't Be a Fool No More ♪
You insult me, Harvey.
Don't worry, we won't be late. "Eddie Hope and The Mannish Boys'"
Won't Be a Fool No More
Okay, what was the name of the record label?
Who covered it in the late '60s?
Ahh! I want to say The Stones, but--
You need some guesses?
Oh! Oh, my God.
[Distant car horns]
Just like a private car service, huh?
Thinking you don't have to yield?
What? Yield? You ran a red light!
That light was yellow!
No, sir, it was not!
Are you calling me a liar?
Mind your business, okay?
No, I'm minding my business.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Anyone throws a punch, or I'm gonna introduce you to Mr. Taser.
Trade insurance, I'll take reports, one at a time.
Yeah, as much as I'd like to help you out, I'm late for a meeting. No, no, no.
You're not going anywhere.
I need a statement from you too.
I need you to babysit the client till I get there.
And don't mention the deal. If she asks any questions, just nod your head and look pretty.
Ms. McAfee, I'm Mike Ross. I work with Harvey.
Oh, you're the protege that he's been gushing about.
He was gushing?
Well, he mentioned that you existed.
For Harvey, that's gushing.
Uh, he's running a few minutes late today.
Um, car trouble.
I was just about to have tea with the girls.
Would you care to join me?
I'd love to.
And for heaven's sakes, call me Joy.
Are the girls.
Susie, Sarah, Stacy, Sinclair, and Sabrina.
Susie, where are your manners?
Shake hands with this nice young man.
Just kidding, I know they're dolls.
They're named after my daughters.
I started the company because of them, really.
You know, dolls didn't used to be these cheap, plastic bimbos from China that we have today.
Your mother made them for you by hand.
I wanted my girls to have that same experience.
And here we are, 30 years later.
Every parent's worst nightmare.
What do you mean?
These little angels, they sell for $90 a pop.
I wasn't born with a butler, you know.
I gotta say, this is amazing, taking on a project like a licensing deal.
Why is that amazing?
Well, my grandmother could never pull this off.
She's been retired for ten years.
How is that treating her?
She lives near my apartment.
I get to see her once a week, so...
That's very sweet of you.
No, it's not.
You know, whenever I needed her, she was there.
You know, no matter what.
She'd give me a hug, she'd tell me everything is gonna be all right.
Even if it wasn't.
And now that she needs me, I am always at work.
I'm so sorry.
Never answer your phone in front of a client.
But it's you.
Well, actually we're in the middle of a tea party.
I knew you were the doll-playing type.
Put Joy on.
Ms. McAfee, it's Harvey.
Joy, I'm sorry, I have to reschedule.
No need to apologize.
I like this one.
I'll send him back after tea.
Tell me you didn't ask our client for a doggy bag.
What can I say? Stacy insisted.
Just got off with Joy McAfee's general counsel.
It seems she had an epiphany.
She wants less on her plate, not more.
I thought you were going to close her.
We need that doll money.
I'm on top of it.
Harvey took five months to structure that deal.
Please don't make me set fire to your desk.
All you had to do was have tea with the dolls.
Donna, schedule another tea party with Joy as soon as possible.
And text me the names of her girls.
Oh, what a shock.
You can't keep girls' names straight in your head.
Just yours, Debbie.
See, that's funny because your name is Donna.
I got your order right here.
I didn't order a pizza.
You've been served.
Cab driver who hit Ray named me as a witness in a civil suit.
I need to pay Travis Bickle a visit.
Harvey, if you let me go talk to Joy, I know I can fix this--
You don't send a puppy to clean up its own mess.
Optimally, you don't even have a puppy.
Ross, rumor has it you talked a client out of $200 million.
The deal's not off the table, all right?
It's just a speed bump.
Dude, I think we just found him a new nickname.
I feel like I'm back in high school.
They called you Speed Bump in high school?
But if you need any boxes to pack up your office, just--
Hmm, wait a minute, uh--
I think that belongs to you.
It wouldn't hurt so much if you had thicker skin.
What do you want?
I wanna pay you back for posting bail.
Trevor, you've owed me 40 bucks since fifth grade.
I wrote it off, okay?
Look, I want a clean slate, okay?
So you don't want to see me, I'll mail you a check.
Yeah, let's hang out tomorrow night.
Nothing crazy, though, all right?
I have to be up early.
We can crochet panty hose if that's what it takes to be cool.
I think we can do a little better than that.
Why don't we, uh...
Why don't we say Rex's, 7:30.
First six rounds are on me.
If you're serious about paying me back, the first 100 rounds are on you.
[Soft indistinct chatter]
So it's the tough guy.
This is a matter for insurance, not a frivolous lawsuit.
You know, for your information, I suffered emotional pain.
Rub this on your emotional pain.
You condescending son of a--
Look at me, I am gonna warn you once.
Do not pursue this matter.
You know, I have been held up at gunpoint three times.
So do you think a fancy suit and a $500 haircut, that's gonna scare me?
You take my driver to court, I'm gonna represent him myself.
And when you lose, you'll be covering my fee, which is gonna be a hell of a lot of haircuts.
Hmm, so you weren't a one-way fare.
Ray's worked for me eight years.
Then you don't have to worry about being a witness, because as his employer, you're liable for his actions.
You know, I think you've seen way too many reruns of Ally McBeal.
Hmm. You know, I emigrated here after September 11th, and they shut the doors on everybody.
I couldn't pay for a lawyer, so I had to take them to court.
I sued for my citizenship, so I have a very special appreciation for the law.
I appreciate a good single malt.
I don't pretend I can make one.
I wiped the floor with the U.S. government, counselor.
I'm gonna do the same with you.
What are you doin' here? I don't have you scheduled.
Uh, I need to see Harvey.
Oh, come on. You know the rules.
No one sets foot in there without a warrant, a papal edict, or my say-so.
I just got named in a multimillion-dollar lawsuit.
The accident wasn't my fault.
Can I get in to see Harvey, please?
Okay, say no more. I will get you in.
You are so beautiful when you're forceful.
I know you meant that as a compliment, but I don't appreciate limitations being placed on my beauty.
Harvey, I'm already losing money with my car in the shop.
A trial means I can't work.
And how do you think my name is gonna play in front of a New York jury?
I may as well buy a one-way ticket to Guantanamo.
Not gonna happen.
If I lose, I won't even be able to afford a livery license, let alone my insurance.
That's why I'm gonna be defending both of us.
Ray, this goes against every fiber of my being.
I'm taking your case pro bono.
I don't know what to say.
Absolutely nothing, I've got a reputation to maintain.
Besides, it's not gonna take long, okay?
I'm gonna get it dismissed.
Donna, call the court.
We need priority status on the docket.
Yeah, I already tried.
You drew Judge Palermo.
You know what you have to do, don't you?
Yeah. The other thing that goes against every fiber of my being.
Louis, has anyone told you you're an exquisite soprano?
What do you want, Harvey?
You're right. Why prolong my suffering?
I need you to get me in to see Judge Palermo.
You need my help, and you're not gonna pull rank on me?
Your case has nothing to do with firm business, does it?
What's it gonna take?
A mani-pedi? Tickets to Celine?
I'll see what I can do.
And your pound of flesh?
I need my back scratched, I'll let you know.
Louis, unless that's a metaphor, the deal's off.
Joy, when I told you that my grandmother didn't have much time, I--I didn't realize that she's 15 years older than you.
Now, how would you know how old I am?
That is a very closely guarded secret.
I did some research.
I did it to assure myself that you can handle a heavier workload.
I appreciate that, but I'm not worried about my health.
Is it the money?
Because I can guarantee, 200 million up front is just 1/10 of what you stand to make on this deal.
Michael, my dolls eat better than most people.
I've got plenty of money.
This deal meant staying on for five more years and doubling my workload.
I am going to take my grandchildren on a cruise to Tahiti. Tahiti?
You know, the licensing agreement includes a theme park.
You could... you could take them there.
It's not about the deal.
I have had this same view for 25 years.
I need a change of scenery.
I am gonna speak to Harvey, and I'm gonna tell him that I want to sell the whole business.
I just spoke to Judge Palermo.
And because he thinks I'm a good guy, and I told him I'd owe him one, your case is gonna be moved up way ahead.
I don't have a firstborn, you know, so what exactly do you want for that?
No, you're not getting one of my ties.
Your shoulder? What... your lapel--
Norma is going to Istanbul for two weeks, and you know that I'm not good with temps.
Oh, my God. Ask me for something else.
Harvey, this is non-negotiable.
You owe me now.
Donna is one thing that I can't give you.
For one thing, she'd never agree to it.
You're her boss.
You just tell her to do stuff.
I don't tell her to do anything.
She just does.
All right, fine. You know what?
That's just... Not a problem.
I will call Judge Palermo, and I'll tell him I was mistaken, and then your hearing will be in, I don't know, maybe six months?
I tell you what.
If you can convince her yourself, you have my blessing.
She's gonna love me so much, you're gonna fight to get her back.
Harvey and I were just, uh, talking about you.
You don't even know what I was gonna say.
Yes, I do.
And how is that possible?
I read lips, I know body language, and I talk to Norma.
I'm not some token you win at a fair, Louis.
You're not--I know you're not. You're not a token.
I'm a human being, and I--
Yes, you are.
I'm sorry, I just... you know what, that just made me feel really...
No, I'm just trying to tell you that you're really good at what you do, Donna. So I'm gonna ask you--
It's like my soul hurts now.
No, Donna, listen, even if your soul hurts a little bit--
It's gonna be fine. Don't cry.
Please don't cry, Donna.
I think I owe you one for that.
That was fun.
Wait a second, the... the time that you cried, and then I let your parents stay in my condo--
Yup. "Philadelphia Grand Jury's"
Ready to Roll
♪ you, I just want you to know ♪
So you don't want to talk about it?
What is there to talk about?
I did exactly what my boss told me not to do, and it blew up in my face.
Dude, I told you, I'm taking care of this.
In my last few hours of employment, please, I should pay.
All right, put the wallet away.
Wait--give--dude, this is epic.
This is the scam we always talked about.
God, I bet you're gettin' laid left and right.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You lose appreciation after a while.
Come on. Yeah, why'd you put a phone number on there?
It's a real firm.
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just calling the employee directory.
It's part of the scam, man.
They'll check your story.
Hang up the phone. Oh, no.
Trevor, hang up the phone, stop!
All right? I'm working there.
Oh, yeah. What, as a lawyer?
Are you... dude.
It's a long story, okay?
But you can't tell anyone. Ever. Okay?
That is awesome!
Man, I... I always said that if you quit smoking pot, you could do it.
Yeah, oh, that's right. Yeah, you did.
Right before you passed me the bowl.
Naw, I just--
I wish you trusted me enough to tell me.
I mean, all I did was set you up on a drug bust.
Oh, God, that was too soon.
Hi, ladies. How are you?
Um, I want to let you know, if you--either of you ever get arrested for anything, you call this guy.
He's the best attorney in the city.
[Laughs] Well, what would we get arrested for?
I don't know.
I don't know. What are you thinking about doing?
♪ I'm not like some other brothers ♪
♪ I'm not like some other brothers ♪
♪ but I'm ready to roll ♪
Uh, as your attorney, I would definitely advise you to do that.
Uh, four more. Yeah.
I must warn you that representing yourself at trial is not the--
What's he doing here?
You think you can schedule a meeting without me knowing it?
I'm privy to all communication between you and the court.
Well, if your driving matched your legal knowledge, we wouldn't be here.
This case should be dismissed. It's a matter for insurance.
Insurance only covers repairs.
It does not deal with my losses.
Because of the accident, I missed my chance to get my taxi medallion.
You can't just buy it next year?
The loan I got expires in one week.
On top of that, a medallion costs 300,000 this go-round.
Next year, 350.
So his entire claim rests upon the assumption that he would've won this year's medallion.
The hallmark of America is that the little guy gets to see justice done.
We are all equals in the eyes of the law.
That is why, out of all the countries in the world, I chose to come here.
What do you got to say about that, counselor?
I say Atticus Finch makes a good speech here, but this is a fender-bender, not a multimillion-dollar lawsuit.
Vicarious liability applies to discrimination, harassment, and accidents.
Employers are responsible for their employees' negligence.
Court finds a reasonable suit here.
Trial starts tomorrow.
Thank you, Your Honor.
You're getting a good kick out of this, aren't you?
But I'm taking this on its merits.
And you better bring your "A" game tomorrow, 'cause he's got a legitimate claim.
He wants a trial? I'll give him a goddamn trial.
So how many cases have you won?
I only remember how many I've lost.
Wait, what happened to the drinks?
I got a better idea.
Let's say we get a bottle and take the party back to your place?
Make it a bottle of Dom, and you're on.
All right, how about four bottles?
You guys want to get a cab?
Definitely. Cab, four bottles of Dom.
You want to spend any more of my money?
Just relax, okay?
It's an investment in the evening.
And, uh, I just said the thing about the bottles to get the girls out of the bar.
Really? 'Cause it looked like you were trying to get away from those guys.
The guys in the back.
You know what I'm talking about. Come on, who are they?
What? Those two? I--I--I don't know.
Where are all the...Cabs?
Well, it looked like they knew you, and not in a very good way.
I--I don't know. Maybe they were, uh, flirting with our dates, okay?
I'd be pissed too if I watched those legs walk away from me.
How are we doin', ladies?
My feet are killing me in these heels.
Hey, Trevor, come on--
Seriously, stop playing with me.
What was that about back there?
Look, I'm not playing with you, all right?
But just play your cards right, maybe you and, uh, maybe Marcella will, uh, maybe she'll play with you. Okay.
Now, it's gonna be a tight squeeze.
Who wants to sit on my lap?
Want to go after him?
No, we're gonna get to him through this guy. "Kaiser Chiefs'"
Good Days Bad Days
♪ Follow the underdog ♪
♪ hold on his collar tight ♪
♪ this city loves a scrap ♪
♪ one day it's gonna fight ♪
♪ sticks and stones and animal bones ♪
♪ Can't stop me from having a good day on a bad day ♪
Ah-ha! Just like the good old days, huh?
Are you kidding me?
This is way better than the good old days.
I--I'm actually missing a shoe.
Hey, where are we?
Uh, I think we're in Hoboken.
[Both imitate explosion]
♪ And bad days ♪
♪ hey, hey, hey ♪
You wanted to see me?
Did you go see Joy after I told you not to?
How did you know?
I didn't. Until now.
I told you, a puppy can't clean up its own mess.
Mess? All I did was tell her about my grandmother.
Your job is to make my life easier.
If you can't understand that, why did I hire you?
Police report summarized.
Traffic signal analysis.
Medallion bids, attendees, and results.
That's why you hired me.
I thought you were all over the Joy situation.
Instead, you're all over page six.
You wanted me to do pro bono work, this is it.
Pro bono enhances a firm's image.
This makes us look like wealthy bullies against an everyman cabbie.
Does that seem like it enhances our image to you?
I refuse to answer that, on the grounds that I don't want to.
Someone had a fun night.
Answer another call you shouldn't have?
I--I... I didn't--I was--
Piece of advice... when the big dog asks the puppy something like that, it's a rhetorical question.
Before you go, the phone call, the other day, when you answered it during the meeting...
Yeah. Sorry about that. Won't happen again.
Who was it?
Um, it's just a friend. You know, an emergency.
What kind of emergency?
Was it a friend who almost got you busted for drug trafficking?
That friend? Trevor?
He's not dealing anymore, Harvey.
So it was him.
He called you from jail?
You know, I make a living learning how to read people, Mike.
So if I saw it, Jessica did too.
Is that the kind of impression you want to leave around here?
This guy is not your friend.
He is an anchor dragging you down. Get rid of him.
He is my oldest friend, Harvey.
I wasn't just gonna let him rot in jail.
What's gonna happen the next time? 'Cause there will be a next time.
You gonna bail him out?
Put yourself in jeopardy?
You know, if it weren't for Trevor, you and I never would've met.
Cut him loose.
We're here to see Mike Ross.
He's an associate.
His friend Trevor referred us.
It looked like they knew you, and not in a very good way.
[Elevator bell dings]
[Men clearing throats]
Excuse me, officer.
Is... is Central Park that way?
Yeah, just go right there.
Uh, I'm sorry, I'm--I'm... I'm really terrible with direction.
Is it this street, right here?
Yeah, this street, yes.
Trevor, it's Mike. Call me back.
I need to know what the hell's going on.
Did you get the red velvet cupcakes?
Yes, three dozen, extra icing.
How the hell did that happen?
Okay. You know what?
There. Problem solved.
I asked you, how'd you get that tear?
A couple of guys came to the firm.
They were looking for me.
I don't know what they wanted, but I'm...
I'm pretty sure it something to do with some sh1t Trevor did.
And that big brain of yours doesn't remember me saying to cut ties with that loser?
You know what?
You've been blowing off Joy's deal all week for your friend, okay? So please.
First of all, Trevor's not your friend.
You want to know why I'm loyal to Ray?
I was taking a limo, and I left $3,000 in it.
Ray happened to be the driver.
He found it and tracked me down.
Not a nickel of it was missing, and his first reaction when this accident occurred was to ask if we were okay.
Now, what would Trevor's have been?
Cut him off.
Now, as far as the licensing deal goes, just because you think I'm blowing something off doesn't mean I am.
Now, watch and learn.
Everything's set for you to walk away.
We're selling your stake as a block.
Your, uh, headhunter's lining up your replacement as we speak.
Well, Harvey, this was the most wonderful surprise.
You're a long-time client who wants to be with her family.
It's the least I could do.
And you'll have all the free time in the world to spend with them. Joey broke the lamp.
Oh, that's great.
Now, how soon can we send 'em home?
They're booked on the first flight out, tomorrow morning.
So when you had Donna text you the girls' names--
I was talking about her daughters.
And you were gonna fly them out all along.
Do you remember when I said, "You don't send a puppy to clean up its own mess?"
Yes, Harvey, I do.
I'm not a puppy.
Court will come to order.
Mr. Santana, your opening statement, please.
Driving a cab is not very glamorous.
But it's an honest day's work.
Ever since I started, I looked forward to a time when I could tell customers that they were riding in my cab.
That I was an owner-operator.
So I scrimped, and I saved, until I finally had enough put away to buy a medallion.
Because of the actions of this man, I've lost that opportunity.
So make no mistake, this... this trial is not about a busted headlight.
This is a trial about a broken dream.
Forget the case, they're gonna make him president.
Statements are like free throws--easy.
Nobody's playing defense.
Are we good at defense?
You would agree that chauffeur drivers cause more accidents--
Leading the witness.
Anything further, Mr. Santana?
Yes, Your Honor, I would like to call to the stand Mr. Michael Ross, please.
What time had you called for the limo on the morning of the accident?
Uh, we were supposed to leave at 8:30.
And what time did you get to work?
It's highly relevant, Your Honor.
It speaks to the psychology of the driver, Rahim Benghazi.
Answer Mr. Santana's question.
So unless Mr. Benghazi made up for that lost time, you were going to be late for that meeting, correct?
No further questions, Your Honor.
When the accident occurred, you were on your way to the medallion auction.
When and where was this auction to take place? 9:00 a.m., City Hall.
According to the police report, the accident occurred at 8:53 a.m.
That means you only had seven minutes to get downtown in rush hour traffic.
I believe when I made the same objection, you told his honor it was highly relevant.
You were running late, only the stakes for you were much higher, weren't they?
These things never start on time.
Then why was the first medallion sold at 9:03 a.m.?
You were scared your chance at a medallion was going up in smoke, and you ran a red.
Then you used the accident to paint me and Ray Benghazi as a couple of scapegoats.
You can't prove that.
What color was the light?
I take the fifth.
You can't take the fifth, Mr. Santana.
This isn't a criminal case.
What color was the light?
He cut me off.
You claim to love our legal system so much, answer the question.
What color was the light?
What color was the light?
Answer the question, Mr. Santana.
It just meant so much to me.
Your Honor, can I sidebar with opposing counsel?
We can roll the dice with the jury, but I'd rather settle.
Well, how much would I have to pay?
You take responsibility for the accident, and your insurance company makes Ray whole.
In return, I waive my right to collect legal fees.
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything.
I've got a reputation to maintain.
That goes for you too, judge.
Damn it, Trevor. I left you like five messages.
Good to know your boy's flaky with everyone.
I was taking it personal.
What do you want?
Well, Trevor owes us $50,000
he's never paid, so you're gonna bail him out. Listen, I don't have that kind of money, okay? I can't.
Well, if you're not down here in an hour with it, we're gonna take it out on Trevor.
Tell him where the money is.
Whatever you do, don't show up.
You have one hour.
What do you think you're doing, leaving in the middle of a trial?
I got some things to take care of.
You mean someone to take care of.
You never cut Trevor off, did you?
No, I didn't. My friend's in trouble, and I'm gonna help him.
You know what? This is what addicts do.
The second they start making progress, they screw up, because deep down they think it's only a matter of time until they fail.
They'd rather fall from the third floor than the penthouse.
Nothing you say can stop me.
Then tell me what the hell's going on.
He's clean. No wires.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
You remember what happened with the guy.
He was 300 pounds.
Now, who'd you say you were again?
Trevor didn't mention a lawyer.
He doesn't know he hired me.
Open the briefcase.
Where's the goddamn money?
That photo is a screen shot, taken from my firm's security video.
We know what you look like.
And if Mike Ross doesn't hear from me in the next five minutes, he's calling the police.
No, man. You're not comin' in here and threatenin' us.
You're looking at kidnapping, extortion, and drug-dealing, and the district attorney happens to be number three on my speed dial.
Well, if we're looking at all that time, you might as well add murder.
I got a better idea.
If you sign right here, you'll become one of my clients.
And I won't be able to testify against you, even if I wanted to.
What about the money?
This envelope contains $10,000.
Consider it a down payment on Trevor's debt.
Only here's the thing, I don't do pro bono work.
And my retainer agreement requires a down payment of $10,000.
Now, as your attorney, my job is to give you advice.
So here's the deal.
Sign the agreement.
I thought I said not to come.
Remember that 40 bucks from the fifth grade you owe me?
If you were dead, how would I collect?
I'm sorry, I just...
Put you in trouble just by hanging out with you.
So why'd you do it? 'Cause I'm a dick.
Bet you didn't think you'd have to save my ass so soon after bailing me out.
I wasn't the one who saved you.
Yeah. Well, as a friend, the guy puts me to shame.
Harvey's not my friend, trust me.
Well, he didn't put his ass on the line because of me.
Listen, I pled you down to a misdemeanor--
Drunk and disorderly.
And I paid the fine.
I think it might be a good idea if you got out of town for a while.
Well, you said you wanted a clean slate.
I figured 20 hours on a bus ought to do the trick.
Oh, yeah, it'll do me good.
When I get back, you know who the first person I'm gonna call is.
Yeah. The one person you know who'll answer.
I'm very happy you took Ray on pro bono.
You, on the other hand, can afford our services.
You want me to pay me to represent me?
Mm-hmm. Ten hours at $1,000 an hour.
Eh, yeah, I'll let you do the math.
You can't be serious.
I'll tell you what I am serious about.
I hear you're finally mentoring the kid.
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Really, because I understand that you dropped the puppy analogy on him, which is exactly what I used on you.
May have slipped out by accident.
Well, accident, on purpose, the really important thing is, is that I'm taller than you.
Yup, you look much thinner in that.
You planted that story, be man enough to own it.
I don't traffic in the tabloids, Harvey.
But I can see how whoever planted this might find it amusing.
You know, the great Harvey Specter bullying a humble cab driver.
I mean, it's a no-win situation, really.
Well, maybe you didn't hear.
I won the no-win situation.
Did it ever occur to you that if you hadn't done that to me, I actually would have owed you one?
Maybe if you didn't humiliate me in front of the associates--
Louis, for an average attorney, 100 million is a career case.
If I'm mocking you, it means I think you're above average.
But stress balls? You're making it too easy.
You put Trevor on the bus to the boondocks?
Yeah. Can I ask you a question?
After all this, you really think I'm still buying the Mr. I-don't-give-a-crap thing?
Joy sent a little token of her appreciation.
She got your hair just right.
Did she ever make one of these for you?
Not that you'll ever see.