01x11 - Shush Ninjas

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪
♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ♪
♪ Let's go. ♪
♪ We'll be there ♪
♪ a wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪
♪ yeah, we'll be there ♪
♪ wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪
♪ we'll be there when you turn that corner ♪
♪ when you jump out the bush ♪
♪ with a big bear smile ♪
♪ we'll be there ♪

Hey, we're not in the center. Turn back.

Oh, boy. I've been waiting two years for this movie.

I've been playing the trailer on loop as I sleep.

Shh!

[Whispering] Oh, yeah. Sorry.

Announcer: Welcome to the feature presentation.

Please be courteous.

Turn off all your cellphones, and refrain from talking.

Thank you.

[Birds chirping]

[Panting]

[Tires screeching]

[Candy wrapper crinkling]

[Slurping]

Oh, this is the part where he finds his father.

[Chair squeaking]

[Cellphone chimes]

Oh, and at the end of the movie, it was his brother the whole time.

[Coughs]

[Slurps]

[Snoring]

[Chair squeaking]

[Cellphone chimes]

[Indistinct conversations]

Well, what's wrong with everyone? I couldn't hear a thing.

Dude, why is everyone so rude?

Ice Bear wants his money back.

Sir, we respectfully request your attention.

Theatre 9 has become a cesspool of rowdiness.

Ice Bear heard wrappers. Not hip-hop.

We implore you to restore order.

[Sighs] I'm sorry.

I can issue you a full refund, but I can't refund the way the world is.

But you're the manager.

If anyone can do something, you can.

There was once a time when movies were special to people, when people acted with dignity in this public place.

Going to the theatre was a loved and time-honored tradition, but that was a long time ago.

[Both sniffle]

Well, what if we helped?

[Coughs]

How could you possibly accomplish such a task?

We'll go into the theatres, we'll shush them with all our might.

Ice Bear will shush unshushable.

And we'll be completely hidden wearing these suits!

Where'd you get those?

They're for our interpretive dance class.

This looks like it'll be tight. Are they one-size-fits-all?

They're perfect! These uniforms will strike fear into the hearts of noisemakers everywhere.

Finally, once again, there's a chance to restore order to the world of cinema.

Now go, and make the East Bay Cinema 13 proud.

[Heroic music plays]

Listen up.

It's our duty to make this theatre a safe haven for movie lovers once again for our children and our children's children.

That was beautiful. You should write poetry.

What makes you think I haven't?

But how can you do it? You're just one man.

[Candy wrapper crinkles]

Shh.

[Cellphone rings]

Hello?

Shh!

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh.

Shh. [Gasps]

Shh.

I think flowers on a first date are perf...

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh, shh. Shh, shh.

[Chair squeaks]

Shh!

Shh! Shh!

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh!

Shh.

All: Yeah!

Wow, that was amazing. It totally worked!

Ice Bear believes.

We did well, brothers, but it's only the beginning.

Behind each one of those doors is a new challenge waiting to meet true shush-stice.

We just got to pick the next one to shush.

Ooh! You guys! This movie!

It's the last one of the trilogy!

It's a love story between two vampires and you ... you guys look like you don't care.

Good idea, Panpan. Let's split up.

Away! Huh-huh-huh.

[Thud]

Shh!

Shh!

[Slurps] Shh!

[Coughs] Shh.

What? I was just coughing.

Shhhhhh.

Jared is so beautiful. He's prettier than me.

Yeah, I know.

This is our year, Christopher.

[Menacingly] Jared.

I hear there's more kissing in this mo...

Shh.

It is I. Christopher.

Yet another cold night alone and unloved.

But no matter what happens...

Christopher and Panda: .. the rain will always be my friend.

Girl: We want Jared!

Shh!

[Cellphone rings, vibrates]

[Ringing, vibrating continues]

[Chair squeaks softly]

Shh.

[Heavy breathing]

Shh!

Shh!

I know to you I may seem cold and unfeeling, but it's only because deep down, I yearn to be loved.

Ugh. That Jared is so phony.

[Crying] Oh, Jared.

Shh. Don't root for him.

He doesn't deserve eternal love like Christopher does.

Shh! Team Jared!

Shh! Team Christopher.

Woman: Jared, you're the greatest.


[Indistinct conversations]

[Crying]

When you leave, my heart weeps. Stay with me, my love.

[Women swooning] Oh, Jared. You knock me off my feet.

[Cellphone ringing, vibrating]

Shh!

Ooh!

[Grunts] Shh.

Ugh, unbelievable.

Remember, Laura, if you ever drown, I would dog-paddle my way to your heart.

Oh, Jared. You are so perfect for Laura.

Shh! No, Jared's evil, Christopher is king.

Shh! No one is better than Jared. Look at these abs.

Are these the abs of a villain?

[Cellphone ringing, vibrating]

Ah... Ah... Ah...

Christopher!

Jared! Jared!

Ah...

Ah... Ah...

[Cellphone ringing, vibrating]

Jared! Jared! Jared! Jared!

Ah-choo!

I know there's a button to turn off the sound here.

[Cellphone rings, vibrates]

Out!

Get out.

This is how I feel about your precious Jared!

[Audience gasps]

Team Christopher forever.

All: Boo! Boo! Boo!

The rain will always be my friend.

[Glass crunching, cellphone powers down]

Get out! Everyone out!

[Panting]

[Chuckles]

Phew. I think they got the message.

How did it go for you, Panpan?

I hate vampires.

Ice Bear completed mission. Sort of.

Shushers, I'm sorry, but you must leave.

But we did it. We shushed them.

No. Not like this. You shush irresponsibly.

I thought you could help, but I was wrong.

Wrong to hope.

But, sir, we just tried to ...

Shh.

We understand.

Woman: What do you want me to do?

Man: No.

I'm not on my way to the airport.

What do you want me to do? [Horn blaring]

Get out of the way!

Just move! What are you doing?

Move!

Come on!

Ugh. Mom, I don't care.

No.

I'm not on my way to the airport.

What do you want me to do?

Well, I'm not ...

[Panting]

Guys, we need your help!

All: Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

There's a situation at the theatre.

Only you three can handle it.

It is too late.

We have retired to this quiet space.

Guys, please. We're desperate. We need you.

[Sighs] Okay. Here's your full refund.

The manager says thank you for trying.

Refund?! We don't want our change!

We want to change the world!

Shh!

We'll do it.

Man: Who are they?

All: Shh.

This is it.

Aah! Don't go in there! It's madness!

[Doors rattling]

[Indistinct conversations]

[Gasps]

[Children shouting, crying]

Please, silence! Stop!

Shh.

Shh!

I can do a somersault. Watch!

[Babbling] Shh.

[Screams]

I'm a superhero, I can sing a song.

Shh.

Aah! [Screams]

I'mma sing a song!

It's too late. We are doomed.

The magic of cinema is dead.

The magic of cinema ... Oh, that's it! I got an idea.

[Screaming]

Huh?

[Children shush]

Movies. "Why movies?" You ask.

Why are we here in this dark and kind of smelly room with total strangers? We go to the movies to be a part of something together.

Just think of all the memories we've shared, all the times we've spread our imagination wings and allowed ourselves to soar!

We've opened our arms to new adventures filled with moments that warmed our hearts, moments that are windows to our past and help us shape our future.

We are these characters.

We understand all their imperfections.

They love like we love.

Panda!

There's no telling what mysteries will unfold or who we'll meet along the way, but life is never boring when you go to the movies.

In conclusion, who needs a telescope to look at the stars when the stars shine brighter at the movies?

Now, who's ready to watch a movie?!

[All snoring]

Really thought I had something there.

You gentlemen did it. You've shushed the unshushable.

How can we ever repay you?

Our reward is that justice has been served.

It was our duty as movie-watching citizens.

Ice Bear refuses praise.

Please. There must be something I can give you.

Well...

[Tires screeching]

[Coughs]

Panda and Ice Bear: Shh!