01x03 - Kyle

Previously on This Is Us...


Something's not right.

We lost the third baby, Jack.

I'm very sorry.

I like to think that you took the sourest lemon that life has to offer and turned it into something resembling lemonade.

36 years ago, my life started with you leaving me on a fire station doorstep.

Beth, The man has stage IV stomach cancer.

Why you watching this stuff?

Told them to go screw themselves.

I'm moving to New York.

"Show business."

Tess: Grandma and Grandpa are here!

I'll be in mroom.

♪ ♪
♪ Catch a boat to England, baby ♪
♪ Maybe to Spain ♪
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
♪ Wherever I've been and gone, wherever ♪
♪ I have gone, the blues ♪
♪ Are all the same ♪
♪ Send out for whiskey, baby ♪
♪ Send out for gin ♪
♪ Me and room service, honey ♪
♪ Me and room service, babe ♪
♪ Me and room service, whoa ♪
♪ We're livin' a life of sin ♪
♪ Catch a boat to England, baby ♪
♪ Maybe to Spain ♪
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
♪ Wherever I've been and gone ♪
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
♪ The blues ♪
♪ Are all the same. ♪


This is the scariest part.

Some people think the scariest part is coming to the hospital to have the baby.

Nah. The scariest part is leaving the hospital with the baby.

Babies. Babies, of course.

Doc, these two, they only fall asleep if they're next to each other.

Is that unusual?

Well, they've been sharing the same hot tub the last nine months; you can't bust them up right away.

No, I'm not concerned.

Did she tell you what we named them?

No, actually, she didn't.

You can go ahead and tell him, babe.

Kevin, Kate and Kyle. All Ks.

It's a good letter.

We had a good doctor. Right, Bec?

I'm sorry. I'm just, um, a little overwhelmed.

Thank you very much for everything.

Tess: Grandma and Grandpa are here!

Hi, Grandpa.

Randall: Hey.

Hi, baby.

Randall: What are you guys doing here?

We were on our way into the city and thought we'd stop by and say hi.

A friend at work gave us his Hamilton tickets.

Feel like I'm gonna be the one person on the planet who doesn't like this damn thing.

There's a man living with us. What?

Daddy's friend from work.

Come play Legos!

Yeah, come play Legos with us.

Rebecca: We're coming, we're coming.

Girls: Yay!

Rebecca (kissing): I missed you.

This was not the plan.

What plan?

The plan for how I was gonna tell her that I found him.

I wasn't aware there was a plan for that, babe.

Well, there was.

I mean, there was gonna be.

The plan was forming, but now it's off.

Okay, so what are you gonna do now?

Uh, right now?


I'm gonna put on a fake-ass smile.

I'm gonna ask to speak to my mother privately.

And then I'm gonna tell her something that's gonna completely and utterly devastate her.


Can I talk to you privately?

One second.



Uh, everybody...


Oh, holy hangover, Fatman.

(woman singing nearby)

(Toby groaning)

Oh, God.


♪ And faces, and friendly faces ♪
♪ And still I had to be free ♪
♪ I've been to paradise ♪
♪ But I've never been to... ♪

(screaming) (grunts)



How's your face?

(with mouth full): Well, it's fine.

Luckily, I have all this fat to soften the blow.

Stop that.

How's your breakfast?

You mean this, uh, steel-cut oatmeal and egg white pancake with no salt, no sugar, and no oil that you're making me eat?


It's amazing.



It's the best thing I've ever tasted.


Quick question.

Um, last night, after the party...

I kind of blacked out.

We didn't, uh...

Oh, no.

A lot of vomiting but not a lot of anything else.

Oh. Sexy.

You have an amazing voice, by the way.

I did not know that you sang.

Well, I did not know that you spy on people in the bathroom.


Will you sing for me?


Come on, Kate, come on.


Come on, come on. You're good.

And I'm not talking about karaoke-good.

I'm talking good-good.


Have... did... you... did... (sighs)

Did you ever perform?

When I was really young.

Cyndi Lauper was kind of my jam.


"Time after Time" cover was...

I rocked it. I was, you know...

I rocked it like it was my job.


But then I grew up.

And then I grew... and, um, you know, I try to avoid the spotlight.

Are you done? Yes.

Are you?

(whispering): One more song.

One more song.

One more song.

Kevin: Okay, Kate, I am super pumped about this move to New York City.

I mean, we've got a ton to figure out, of course, but I'm super pumped.

Wait... that was real?

Yeah. Stage acting, it's my new jam. Oh...

Do you think you could get that really cute, uh, that theater casting director, the one who liked me. What's...


Cara, yes.

I love Cara... Yeah.

Oh, and when you get her on the phone, tell her I'm only interested in doing heavy drama.

We're not moving all the way to New York City so I can do some lame off-Broadway comedy.

You want me to go with you?

(laughs) Of course. Yeah.

There's no way I could do this without you.

Oh, and maybe you should specify that I don't want to do anything where I have to show my pen1s.

Wow. Wow.


I didn't see you there, man. What's up?


How's this? You know what we should do?

We should look into the meat-packing district.

It's like an up and coming (mumbles with mouth full)

Pancakes are good.

(whispering): Is she making you eat this?

(quietly): I'm trying to have some s*x.

So now he's been here for about a week.

I guess I just wanted to get used to the idea of him myself, you know, before I told you, and this has nothing to do with you or Dad... I hope you know that.

I do know that, yes, of course.

Okay, okay.

I mean, obviously, I've been curious about him since I was a kid.

And I know you guys would have found him if you could have.

So who is he?

What did he tell you about himself?

(chuckling): Uh...

His name is William.

That's it?

He didn't tell you anything else?


Uh, he has a cat.

Stomach cancer.

It's the basic gist of what I know so far.

(quietly): Wow.


(inhales) Well, where is he?

I'd like to, uh, meet him.

He's in Annie's room, but...


I don't know if he's ready for company, Ma.

Hold on one second.

(traffic and street sounds)

Jack: Okay.


Car seats are installed.

Policeman approved.

I'll pull up, we'll load up.

And then the adventure begins, yeah?


If I were you, I would head right to Mexico.

If I don't come back, at least you'll know where to find me.

(laughs) Oh...




Okay, let's lock and load.

Here, I got him.


(groaning): Oh. Come on, big boy.


(knocks on door)



I wanted to introdu...


I'm Rebecca, I'm Randall's mother.

Very nice to meet you.

Uh, nice to meet you, as well.


Sweetheart, could you give us just a moment to chat?

Uh... yeah.

Thank you.

You look well.

Rebecca: It's okay, my little lady.

♪ Baby, maybe to Spain ♪
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪

He's not taking my breast.

♪ Wherever I've been and gone ♪

Can you help with him, please? He's being really fussy.


We have burping cloths. Look in their bedroom.

It's not... there's not... in here.

Please, just come back in here. I need you to help me, please.


Are you laying down, Jack?


Rebecca: Can you please check on Kevin?

♪ Send out for whiskey, baby ♪

Why, why won't he stop crying?

They'll be in college soon.


(baby crying)

(sighs) Which one?

Probably the one that hates me.

He doesn't hate you. Jack, I think we're gonna have to start him on formula.

No. He's fine.

He won't take to my breast.

We have to treat them the same.

He's not the same.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

He's just... He's not. I grew the other two inside of me, and he feels like a stranger.

And I feel really terrible for saying that out loud, but he just... he does.


(crying stops)


Jack, when we were leaving the hospital...

I know. You were having second thoughts about bringing him home. It's fine.

No. No, it's not that. I...

It's natural.

He's fine, Bec.

He's fine.

Look at us.


I mean, I was a complete stranger.

Look how quickly I took to your breast.

You're an idiot.


I'm your idiot.


And they are our babies.

He's our baby.


(baby crying)

They'll be in college soon?

Any day now.

And then she just asked to speak to him alone.

About what?

I don't know.

Whatever biological fathers and adopted mothers talk about.

What is that?

The Knicks, Beth. How the hell am I supposed to know?


You love me so much that you're just gonna give me that one?

Mm-hmm. You know me so well, my friend.

I got to take him to that doctor's appointment in two hours.

God. What the hell do you think they're talking about, anyway?

I don't know, honey.


He found me.

He brought me here.

But you stayed.

Yes, I stayed.


We had a deal.

I won't tell him, if that's what you're thinking.


Oh, God. All those... (sighs)

It will break him.

It will. Knowing that he could've known you and that I kept him from that.

Rebecca, the deal we made was the right one.

For everyone.

If you hurt him...

I won't.

Fine, then.

But know this: my son, who I raised, is gonna put everything he has into trying to save you, because that's who he is.

It's gonna come in front of his job, in front of his marriage, and in front of his time with his kids.

So you better damn well be worth that.



Damn it.

Damn it.

Yes, um, it would be for an open-ended reservation, until we can find him a rental.

And your pillows are hypoallergenic, yeah?

And can I just confirm that the hotel gym's not just, like, three crappy elliptical machines?

'Cause he needs space for floor work and exercise and free weight... Great.

You know, actually, can I just have pictures sent to me?

Hey, babe.

Have you seen my keys?

I think you left 'em in the plan you never made.

(chuckles) So she's funny, too. That's good. My keys.


He seems very nice.

Mike: Honey, we should get going if we're gonna get dinner in the city first.


I bet the tunnel's gonna be jammed.


No, stay!


Dad's work friend doesn't eat a lot.

You can have some of his dinner.

(chuckling): What?

Uh, Grandma and Grandpa can't stay, girls.


And, anyway, I've got an appointment with my work friend, so, um...

I promise to catch up with you about all this.


Promise? Mm-hmm.

Miguel, thanks for dropping by unexpectedly. Ha-ha-ha.

(mimics VCR) Rewind. Thanks for dropping by.

Always love it. Always love you guys. Peace.

He's hiding something.

Hey. We got to get goin'.



William. Where you goin'?

Home. Why? What happened?

We got the doctor's appointment.

You should cancel.

Why would I cancel... W-Will you get in the damn car?

I knew if I told you I was leaving, you'd try and stop me like you are right now.

You'd try and stop me 'cause you were raised to be a good man.

But I wasn't the one who raised you that way, Randall.

I was reminded of that today.

That you have parents.

That I just can't step in 40 years later and enjoy the fruits of someone else's labor.

So, just like that, you go?

No good-bye to the girls?

The girls will be fine.

No, they'll be devastated.

They don't even know who I am.

Look, this doctor...

He isn't gonna tell me anything I don't already know.

But he might.

He won't.

But he might.

And something tells me he might be a little more thorough than the doctor at whatever free homeless clinic you've been going to to get your free medical counsel at.

To say nothing of the fact that I had to kiss up to the biggest D-bag at my firm just to get you this appointment.

So, yes, William, you are getting in the car right now, and we are going to this doctor's appointment.

And then and only then will I give you permission to hobble off like Hobo Joe without saying so much as a good-bye.

Startin' to not feel so bad about leaving you at that fire station.

Yeah, whatever.

Hi, white people.

Friendly neighborhood black man.

Toby: Uh, Kate, can I get one right here?

Kate? Right here? Can I just get one right here?

Kate? Who are you wearing? Kate? Kate?

What are you doing?

Is it true that you're dating Taylor Swift? Is it true that you just broke up with Taylor Swift just now?


What are you doing?

Give me just one day.

(shutter clicks)

One day where you're the star.

(groans, sighs)

♪ ♪



Hey, where are you? I've called you, like, ten times.

Listen, um... Can we just hire one of those services that comes in and, you know, packs everything for you?

I think Jason Momoa told me about a guy who does that.

Let's get that number from Momoa's office.

His assistant. That, uh...

Dahala Mapuana, I think her name was.

Or was it Patty?

You remember Jason Momoa. He's the, uh... he's the original Dothraki guy.

We met him at Seth Green's house. Where are you, all right?

I'm getting overwhelmed. Pick up the phone.

Where are we going?

Well, no more background singing for you.

Your voice is way too beautiful to only be heard in a bathroom.

Today is your day, babe.

We are on our way to your first big gig.


Yep, I, uh... I downloaded an instrumental copy of "Time after Time," found an old boom box.

It's showtime, baby!

Toby, there is no way in hell that I'm gonna sing in front of people.

Well, then you'll be depriving the world.

Well, the world will live.

Yes, but your audience may not. (grunts)

All right.

(grunts) What the hell?

Okay, so, my Aunt Dolly actually lives here.

All right, I booked you in their prime slot, 3:00 p.m.

It's right after Jell-O but before their nap.

Perfect place to break your seal, right?

Now, remember, most of 'em will probably be asleep.

The rest won't remember this tomorrow. And most of them lived through World War II, so no matter how bad you are, they've seen worse. (chuckles)

Come on.

I'm sorry, do you need the red carpet?


Okay, come on.

(babies crying)

Dr. K: Well, now, all three of these babies are looking very good, Jack.

Very strong, very healthy.

Okay, good. That's good.

'Cause some-sometimes one does something different than the other two.

You just... you start spinnin' a little...

They're all doing very well.


How are you guys doing?

Oh, we're great.

We're good. We're, um... tired but, uh, good.

Uh-huh. And Rebecca?

I mean, I only ask because it's a little unusual for the father to be here alone.

She just needed a little break, you know?

She's... she's... she's not totally herself.

I mean, she's a... little dazed, I guess? She's not bonding with the babies.

And not with Kyle, mainly.

You know? Not with Kyle.

I think she might be a little broken.

You know, I-I think the babies might have broken my wife.

You can fix her, right?

Or you can tell me how to fix her?

I was... I was hoping you could tell me how to fix her.

Sit down, Jack.

She lost a baby, Jack.

You can't just dismiss that.

So did I.


And you took your grief, and you... channeled it into action.

You willed yourself forward with positivity, but Rebecca has just...

She's gonna have to do this in her own way, and you're just gonna have to give her the space to do it.

Yeah. What if she doesn't find her way?

She will. How do you know?

For the same reason that I know you're gonna give her the space to find it.

'Cause I believe in good people.

Of course, I voted for Nixon, so you got to take everything I say with a grain of salt.


Now, look, there's a couch in there in my office.

Why don't you go lie down, take a nap?

I'm-I'm totally free the rest of the day.

I can use the time with my namesakes.

(laughs) No, there's three. You don't... you don't...

I brought them into the world, Jack.

I am perfectly qualified to sit here and watch 'em sleep and crap themselves for a couple of hours.

Now go. Now.

(bus brakes squeak, doors whoosh open)

Hi. Sorry to bother you.

I'm looking for someone. Um, he's Afro-American, very, very thin.

Possibly on drugs.


You know what? I sound ridiculous.

Sorry. I sound so stupid.

You mean Shakespeare? You looking for him?

Come on, get in.

(feedback squeals)

Toby: All right. Uh, good afternoon, ladies and germs. Uh, my name is Toby.

I'm actually, uh, Dolly's nephew.

Everybody knows Aunt Dolly, right?

Wave for everybody, Dolly. Hello, Dolly!

Be careful, gentlemen. She's a real man-eater.

Aren't you, Dolly?

(laughs) Okay. Okay, well, we have a very special treat for you this afternoon.

The lady that I am about to introduce has been called the next Bette Midler.

Adele admires her, Streisand considers her a friend, J.Lo wishes she had that ass.

Ladies and gentlemen, performing for one song only, I give you... Kate! Oh!


Oh, yeah.

All right, here we go.

That's for you.

Really? You want me to...?


(sighs) Okay.

(guitar plays slow, gentle intro to "Time after Time")


(loud breathing amplified on mic)

(feedback squeals)

(tentatively): ♪ Lying in my bed I hear the ♪
♪ Clock tick and think of you ♪
♪ Caught up in circles ♪

(more confidently): ♪ Confusion is nothing new ♪
♪ Flashback to warm nights ♪

(indistinct chatter)

♪ Almost left behind ♪
♪ Suitcase of memory ♪
♪ Time after ♪
♪ Sometimes you picture me ♪
♪ I'm walking too far ahead ♪
♪ You're calling to me ♪
♪ And I can't hear ♪
♪ What you've said ♪
♪ And you say, go slow ♪

Hey. I'm looking for Shakespeare.

♪ I fall behind ♪
♪ The drum beats out of time ♪
♪ If you're lost you can look and you will find me ♪
♪ Time after time ♪
♪ If you fall I will catch you ♪
♪ I'll be waiting ♪
♪ Time after time ♪
♪ If you fall I will catch you ♪
♪ I will be waiting ♪
♪ Time after time ♪
♪ Time after time. ♪



Yeah! Come on!

Give it up!



Oh. Oh, if I had known.

(moaning): I would have... I would have taken you to the nursing home for every date.

Shut up. Okay.

(moans, phone plays tune)

Uh-uh. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. No. No, no, just shut it off.


Just shut it off!


Elaine: Oh, my sister was so right about... Elaine's here.

She's trashing the joint, I'm locked in the closet.

Insane Elaine? Why is she there?

(indistinct yelling, clattering)

I called her.


I deleted her number from your contacts.

I found it in the Cloud.

You called Insane Elaine?

(glass breaking through phone)

And I had s*x with her.

And I told her I was moving to New York, and then she went crazy.

I am not crazy! Why does everyone call me crazy?! Why?!


You know what? Um, I got a little overwhelmed with the move, you know, I tried calling you, but you're not picking up. Oh, God.

(glass breaking)

You know what? She's breaking things again. Get over here.

I will be right over.

(phone beeps off)

I am...

I'm sorry. I have to go.

Oh, but really, you don't, and it's kind of crazy that you think that you do.

Toby, you don't get it.

We're-we're twins. We're not like regular people.

When I was a kid, broke my arm and he cried out in pain ten miles away, right?

We're that connected.

I thought we were, too, is the thing.

Kate, I'm not some nut job who performs grand gestures for every girl that I go on a few dates with.

I like you, Kate. I like you a lot.

But I can't... I can't play second banana to your brother.

You have to.

Everyone has to.

(door opens)

(door closes)


Have a good time in New York!

Doctor: William, will you join me out here?


Randall. I wish I had better news.

The cancer has metastasized to a point where there's really not much we can do.

There are some experimental treatments. Frankly, they haven't been very promising.

I'm very, very sorry.



William: I'm not very well, as you can probably tell.

The baby didn't come from this.

It came from love.

His mother?

You know, we-we... we met on that bus, actually.

My world spun on every axis that day.

I read poetry to her the first time we talked.

Uh, not any of mine.

I was too shy for that.

One of my favorite poets, and...

She used to love it when I read to her.

So what'd you name the baby?


I was having triplets, and, um, on a whim, actually, we just decided to name them.

Kevin, Kate and Kyle.

I... I lost one of the babies during delivery, but your baby showed up at the hospital the very same morning.

It felt like destiny.

Um... I just...

I appreciate this. I-I, um...

I wanted to know his story.

And that there was good here, so...

I wonder if I could check on him from time to time.

No. No.

I-I also need to know...

I need to know that you're not gonna come back for him.

I need to know that I can move forward.

Because he will have your blood and the blanket you wrapped him up in, but that's it.

That's the deal. Otherwise, I...

I understand.


I'm not...


I'm not bonding with the baby.

(crying): I want to love him like he's my own, but every time I look at his face...

(sighs heavily)


Give him his own name.

What was the name of the, uh, poet you used to read to her?

Your favorite poet.

Maybe you'll see fit to give it to him someday.

Thank you.

(door closes)

Beth: Hey.


How'd it go?

It's bad.

Nothing to be done, really.

Some experimental treatments that'll give him a few more months.

He's upstairs resting.

Peacefully with his arms crossed over his chest, no doubt.

I have no idea how I came from that man.

I'm so sorry, babe.

Yeah, I don't know what I expected.

Yes, I do.

I expected to find a father who wasn't so damn sick.


I should have looked for him years ago, Beth.

I mean, the girls could have had a grandfather all this time.

Instead, I brought him here so they could what?

Fall in love with a dying man.

So, this is about the girls, then?


You don't want them to fall in love with him?

He's been here a week, baby.

And you don't know any more about him then you did the first time he walked through that door.

I don't know what you were looking for with all this, or even if you do, but I do know you don't have a whole lot of time.

Is she gone? Yeah.


God, I hope the booty call was worth it.

It was.

I just started to get overwhelmed, you know?

Started reading one of those plays you gave me.

You actually read one?

I read them all, actually.

But, uh, this one, though, it's really good, you know?

Like, really good.

And I just started to get a little overwhelmed 'cause I felt like, um, I felt like maybe it was too good for me.

It's not, Kevin.

It's not... they would be lucky.


So my guy turned out to be more insane than Elaine.

Toby? Get this.

So he takes me to a nursing home... to sing in front of old people.


So I'd be a star but in a comfortable environment, 'cause otherwise I would freak out.

It was the whole works.

He had the red carpet, he had the car, suit.

It was like...

Oh, that's good.

Yeah. And then afterwards, like, I was on a high, like, I know it sounds stupid, but I, I felt so free.

Then what happened?

Well, you called.

Told him I had to go and he got pouty and mean.

Wait a minute, I called at that very moment and you actually answered the phone?

Of course I answered.

Anyway, I need to focus on losing weight and our big move to New York, and I don't even need to be in a relationship.

You're fired.


Yeah, Kate, you're fired.


You're the personal assistant to your brother, all right?

A brother who locks himself in his master bedroom closet.

A master bedroom closet that happens to have a mini-bar in it.

Maybe it's time we go at it alone for a while, you know?

Just for a little while to see what happens.

You know, maybe we need to grow up a bit.

I don't really know who I am if I'm not your sister.

I do.

You're gonna love her.


I don't like it when you're sweet.

Okay, I'm here. What?

I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, sorry doesn't change the fact...

What you did for me today was the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me.

Okay, but that still doesn't...

And I'm not moving to New York.

Okay, but that still doesn't change...

I got you something.

I accept your apology.

Yeah? Yes.

(phone rings)

Don't you dare answer that.

I'm not.

Do not.

I won't.

Kate: Leave a message for Kate.

Kevin: Oh, Kate, good. You didn't answer.

Hopefully, that means you're having s*x.

Anyway, I did it.

I-I booked a red-eye to New York.

I'm just gonna do it, 'cause, you know...

Kate, if we keep talking about it, we'll talk ourselves out of it.

I'll never go.

You'll never stay, so...

And I'm not gonna say good-bye or anything sappy like that.

You know how I feel.


(babies cooing)

You know, I didn't know where you were the last four hours.

I know.

I'm sorry.

I thought you ran off to Mexico and abandoned the kids.

I would never run off to Mexico and abandon the kids without you.


I promise.

I can't stop thinking about the one we lost, Jack.

I can't. I know...

I know we have these new babies, and I should be happy, but I just can't stop thinking about him.

Me, too.

Yeah? Yeah.

That's all I think about.

I feel... (sighs)

I feel guilty when I think about him, and then, you know, I-I feel guilty when I stop thinking about him.

Me, too.

I thought it was just me.

No. It's me, too.

(sniffles) I love you.

I love you, too.

♪ Catch a boat to England, baby ♪
♪ And maybe to Spain ♪

I think we need to give him a new name.

♪ Wherever I have gone ♪

I think it's important.

♪ Wherever I've been and gone ♪

Where'd you get that idea?

I just thought of it.

♪ The blues are all the same ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Send out for whiskey, baby ♪
♪ Send out for gin ♪
♪ Me and room service, honey ♪
♪ Me and room service, babe ♪
♪ Me and room service, well ♪

(knocking on door)

♪ We're living a life of sin ♪

Come in.

I'm sorry today didn't go as we hoped.

I'm not done yet, though.

There's more than one big-shot oncologist in New York.


♪ When I'm not sleeping, honey ♪
♪ When I ain't sleeping, mama ♪

I'd like to tell the girls who you are.

I was thinking maybe first thing tomorrow.

They'll have a lot of questions.

Whatever they want to know.


♪ Try another city, baby ♪
♪ Another town ♪
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
♪ Wherever I've been and gone ♪

How'd you meet my mother?


♪ The blues come followin' down ♪

On a bus, of all places.

My God, she looked beautiful.

And let me tell you...

♪ Maybe tomorrow, honey ♪
♪ Someplace down the line ♪
♪ I'll wake up older ♪
♪ So much older, mama ♪
♪ I'll wake up older ♪


♪ And I'll just stop all my trying ♪

You okay?

Yeah, he's okay.

I'm okay.

♪ Catch a boat to England, baby ♪
♪ Maybe to Spain ♪

Hey, sweet boy.

♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
♪ Wherever I've been and gone ♪
♪ Wherever I have gone ♪
♪ The blues are all the same ♪

You want to try?

(baby cooing)

(baby gurgling)

Hi, Randall... hi.