02x04 - Hella La

Girl, I always wanted to have a hoe phase.


- Sorry.

ISSA DEE: I'm just stuck in my own head.

- Can you teach me how to hoe?

- Bitch, that's rude.

And yes.

Green shirt, that's all you.

Girl, will you hurry your slow walking ass up?

It's my sexy walk.


Oh, hey, Candace.

Coming up here next weekend, right, for Kiss-n-Grind, you going?


I'll ask Issa.

I gotta go do this work thing, but I'll be right back.

My whole family was here and you just ghosted.

Okay, Eddie, I see you.


- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I actually like the love rough.

See you around.

ISSA: Yeah, for sure.



Kiss-n-Grind, Kiss-n-Grind.


Okay, with your little booty.

I know, right?

I was taking the stairs.


- Oh, hey, boo.

You still not ready yet?

Girl, you know it's a process.

Well, can you hurry up?

'Cause Kiss-n-Grind starts at 3:00 and there's road closures for some 24-hour bike ride thing.

Girl, I've been drinking to pass the time.


And a lot of time has passed.

Well, it's a good thing I brought ah!

Didn't I bring that to your party?

You really wanna claim this?

Costco is everything to me.

You will not shame me.


- Ooh, I like that!

- You gonna do it with the ?

- Mm-hmm.

- And then ?

- Duh!

- What about ?

- You know I can't move in those.

- You right.

- Today is all about me - and the dance floor.

- Hey!

I said me and the dance floor.

- Maybe about you getting ready.

- Uh-huh.

- Hey!

- You and getting ready.



Be singing that all day.

Mm, so, tell me about this guy you meeting up with.

Ooh, let me show you his fine ass.

Oh, he cute.

Mm-hmm, and he got a classy name, too.

- Felix.

- Like the cat?

- You trying to f*ck a cat?

- Girl, I'm just trying to f*ck.

- Okay, what about neighbor bae?

- Oh, I'm still keeping him around.

- That's why I didn't wanna meet Felix.

- Cat bae.

- Felix one-on-one tonight.


I'm not trying to be stuck with him if he's wack (SCOFFS)

following me around all night.

- And there's gonna be niggas there - Mm-hmm.

so I might just get a few more.

Oh, sh1t, this bitch building a roster.


Molly, like, for real?

Bitch, you're about 40% too pressed.

Calm the f*ck down.

- Killing my vibe.

- You're killing my vibe.

- I'm trying to get down.

- All right, nerd.

"Oh, look at me, I'm trying to get home before curfew.


No, but, for real, we should go 'cause they will actually give our table away.

- So, there's that.

- Kelli!

I'm on my way Five minutes, I'm on my way Five minutes, I'm on my way These bitches got some issues I don't need - Yo, I'm still at the house.

- Bro, you haven't left yet?

I got held up on the phone with Gerald.

He wanted to roll through.

No, no, he always starting fights.

I'm not trying to have another Chipotle situation.

You ever have they tofu bowl?

Low-key, that sh1t's delicious.

- But, yeah, f*ck Gerald.

- All right.

Yo, I'ma pick up some drinks on the way.

I heard this spot gets crazy.

- Tonight's gonna be lit.

- Oh, what, you trying to be out?

'Wrence trying to be in these streets?

Hell, yeah, nigga.

All right, bet.

Yeah, good.

I'll see you when you get there.

Hey, I'ma hit up my weed man.

Yo, I blacked out the last time you gave me those drops.

Get some.

All right, nigga, yeah.

Hey, what up, girl?

This something for you boys who don't understand us There's only one West Side, we about to call you blood And when you hear power, they don't never jam us Yes, that's us.

Thank you.

- Oh, I'm about to cash tonight!

- Yes!

- Ooh!

- Y'all ready to kiss and grind?

This is my motherfucking cheat day.


- Y'all remember single Issa?

Oh, I remember.

Single Issa would've been in that pool.

Uh, yes, she would've, and she might be tonight.

Give me a couple more drinks, bitch!

You better be ready to get f*cked up is what I'm saying.

- ISSA: Oh, I'm ready to get f*cked.


- I think she love me - Okay!

- 'Cause I got the check on me - Kiss-n-Grind.

Wanna spend the day and flex on me I was right There's hella niggas.

And the bouncer cute.

I might f*ck a bouncer tonight.

Sorry, not sorry.

Our table's over there.

Damn, we might as well be on the sidewalk.

Yo, why are we so far from the dance floor?

Nah, it's ideal.

We gonna get our steps in and then we gonna get our steps in.


Okay, it is never that serious.

I saw her coochie!

- Ladies!

- Aw, you got me Prosecco!

Don't drink it straight.

It's hella cheap.




I'm fine as f*ck.

So y'all over here in the cheap seats?

Wanted to be closer to the speakers?

- Shut the f*ck up!

- I'm getting my steps.

Well, I'm glad y'all made it.

Looking like Destiny's Child.

- MOLLY: Oh, okay!

- Uh, who Michelle?


It's you.

You know what?

Where's Candice?

Oh, she's in San Diego at a meditation seminar.

Basically, she's paying to nap with strangers, but, you know, wifey into it.


See, that's what I love about y'all.

Y'all can just do your own thing.

I gotta get back to my table before my boys eat my chicken fingers, so Wait, you got food?

I'll holla!

- That's what's up.

- DRO: Okay.

Look at you.

- Uh-uh!


- Oh, no, no, no.

- Get!

- Your table sucks anyway.

At least we have one.

Bye, bye, bye!

- ISSA: Fashion all nasty.

- KELLI: Mm!

You see cat bae?

Oh, not yet, but he better hurry up 'cause I see a lot of potentials.

I see you, nigga in the baseball cap.

You can hit.

You know what?

I'm gonna let them meet me.

- You know what I mean?

- I made that for me.

Mm, hey, how you doing?

You separated from the pack.

That means I'm gonna get you.


Oh, girl, you're running me dry Cried my last teardrop Saw bad when I told her "Bring it here" Drop down, pick it up, up, up Swing it around, I'ma go, go, go Drop that, down, I'ma pick it up - (MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey At the moment, I'm doing me But, but it could go down if it's you and me You can bring your girls, we can do the threes Bad bitch, this is right where you need to be 'Cause at the moment, I'm livin' I'm livin', I'm livin' 'Cause at the moment, I'm livin' I, I, I, I'm livin' - Look, they get everything - Come on!

A few shots, a few blunts, and some "Max Payne" They from the Valley, so they skirred up in a Camry Poppin' Xannies with no panties in this damn thing Damn shame, you will never live this life, buddy Damn lames, always trying to fight, buddy But I'm so chill, got your girl rollin' flight, buddy (SIREN CHIRPING)

- f*ck.

- Pull over.








DISPATCH: Copy that.

- You in a rush?

- Uh, no, sir.

You must be, making the illegal U-turn.

Oh, I I thought I could make a turn when I saw the other cars do it.

Is this your car?

- Yeah.

- Where are you going?

The grocery store.

License and registration.


Get my license.

Uh, here you go.

OFFICER: Keep your hands where I can see 'em!



I'm gonna let you off with a warning today, hot rod.

Thank you, sir.

I should give you a ticket just for being a Hoya.

A what?

Your license plate.

It says Georgetown.

I'm a Villanova guy.

We beat the sh1t out of you guys last year.


Yeah, you did.

You beat us.

Let's go.

Yeah Dolla $ign, Dolla $ign, Dolla $ign, Dolla $ign Dolla $ign, Dolla $ign, whoo I brought them bottles on bottles I f*ck with models on models I'll take that molly with molly I got the racks on racks Guess who I just saw.

Is it the girl who plays Ninny?

'Cause I think she's here.

- Daniel.

- Where?!

- Don't look for him!

- Ow!

- Did he see you?

- I mean, maybe.

Depends on how good that nigga's peripheral vision is.

I bet it's good, though, because he got Lasik a year ago, so So, do you wanna leave?

No, I'm just annoyed that I gotta deal with this sh1t.

See, that's why we gotta get out of LA.

Ooh, what about Morocco?

Okay, sure, let's go to Morocco.

But right now, we're right f*cking here and this is happening.

All right, so are you trying to talk to Daniel or are you trying to avoid him?

'Cause I just wanna know how sober I need to be.

Tsk, nah, girl, he ain't gonna turn down my turn up.

Let me be the f*cking adult in this situation and go deal with this drama.

You got this.

Here I go.



Oh, yeah, mmm, I know a thing, go Shea Butter Twitter be callin' shawty a queen, go Head game silly, might give her the Don C, go Hair game killin', I get her a new McQueen Daniel, hey.



Uh, can we ?


- What's up?

- Oh, you know, just chillin'.

Heard about me, what they say about you?

Do you usually come to these parties?

Nah, I came to see the DJ.

Oh, yeah, he's good.

It's a girl.

Right, right, right.

I think I marched with her.

Walk by, on fire, baby, can't douse it You know, the last time I saw you - You ain't gotta get into it.

- No, I know.

But I just feel like I shouldn't have said what I said or did what I did We did and You know, I should've just handled the whole situation better, and It was months ago, you know?

It it happened.

I'm good.

- You good?

- I'm very good.

You know, I'm here with my girls.

Out here doing my thing, just Living single.

- Cool, that's what's up.

- No, that is what's up.

All right, then, um, have fun.

You, too.

Good seeing y'all again.

On fire, baby, can't douse it That body bangin', what set that?

You should model, girl, who do your booking?

Okay, what about dude right there?

Uh, maybe.

You know, he's not that Oh, never mind.

Kelli got him.

Mmm, mmm.

Which Running Man is that?

- I don't know.

- My goodness.

Oh, what about my man over here - with the Usher fade?


You mean the one with the elbow patches and the pigeon toe?

Buttoned up and bougie.

That's your type.


He looks like a strip mall dentist.

Damn, I gotta warn my niggas out here you ice cold.

Shut up.

Every dude I mess with ends up the same way, so I'm just trying not to be pressed these days, taking things as they come.

Yeah, like how you came over here and took my chicken fingers?

- Basically.

- Ah.

- Got something in my teeth?

- Nah, get that sh1t out of here.

Have the dentist come over here and check that mess out.


Uh, just looking for my card.


Uh, oh, they have these at my doctor.

It's a Dum Dum, like me today.


Oh, we could We could just, like, cover it for you.


No, you don't have to do that.

I just, uh sorry just You know what?

Can you just hold this for me and I'll run home It's okay, he can put his on ours.

What is it, like, $15 or something?

- $46.


- No, I can't.

No worries.

We've got it.

WOMAN: Hey, Dum Dum!

Where you going with all that drank?

Uh, I'm just going to my boy's to pre-game.

Does he look like Craig to you?

Oh, my God!

He does.

- I know, right?


So, what are y'all getting into?

We're probably just gonna be chilling at the house, drinking some wine, trying to stay out of trouble.

So, y'all are trouble.


Man, it sucks that you're gonna be hanging out with your boy tonight.


Uh, no, I don't have to.

I don't have to see him.

You know, we play in a rec league together.

We're not even really that close, you know.

And, technically, you guys bought the alcohol, so.


Hey, hey, I just want a bad bitch to make me feel good Make me feel good, make me feel great Girl, motherfuck your boyfriend Oh, he do not matter at this moment She gonna ride that thing like she stole it Working like a Mexi, baby, call me sexy Yo, freaky little thing, throw in my direction Yeah, make this sh1t feel like a vacay - Issa?

- Hey!

- Oh.


- How you doing, Folix?

- Huh?

No, 'cause you you had that typo in your profile.

Oh, yeah.

You okay?

Yeah, I I just didn't recognize you at first.


Yeah, your hair is different than your picture.

Oh, um, I like to switch it up.

You ever switch it back?


Yeah, I guess.

Have you heard the DJ, though?

She is so dope.

Does your voice always sound like this?

I just thought your voice would sound different.

Oh, ahem, you know what?

I had a cold a few months ago, so it's probably still in there somewhere.

I might try and make it high.


Are you looking for your friends?

Yeah, actually, I think I'm gonna go catch up with them.

- Uh, but I'll find you.

- Okay, yeah, mm-hmm.

Been a fiend, her and I, king and queen, how she got in them jeans?

I'm tryin' to get in between - (CHUCKLES)

And when we pull up to the crib - Oh, then it's going down - Y'all going this way?

Popping dog niggas, they be lyin' on their brother dick Everybody scared of "Lil' Linky," man, it's evident - Feeling like 50 way back in '03 - (BOTH LAUGHING)

But look, look, no matter what I did, my waves wouldn't dip back then.

No, and you always used to have this, like, deep wave cap crease right there on your forehead.

- Oh, word.

That's how we doing?

- That's what we doing, yep.

Oh, sh1t!

Oh, this was your song.

What you mean "was"?

- Yeah!

- Oh, there it is.


Put a hump in your back and shake your rump Let's go, bounce that ass up and down to the floor Shake that sh1t till you can't no more Twerk that monkey, let me see you get low Yo, remember when we used to battle back in the day?

Back when every song had dance instructions?

Yeah, like, "Drop it low, bitch!

Shake it fast, trick!" And you'd dance so hard, and I'd always beat you anyway.

- Youse a motherfucking liar.

- Hey, cuidado, niña.

My moves been fine ever since Lucas sold mangoes, my nig.

Wow, so you're gonna just rewrite history on me?

You're gonna act like I didn't teach you the Pony and the Train?

- Here we go, here we go.

- What?


We can settle this.

- Battle right now.

- What?

Let me introduce you to tie-dye, nig, 'cause I get down out here.

- Mega-Mega Man.


Nigga, what?

- Wow!


I got something for you.


- Oh, sh okay.

Look at you.

- You don't know.

Then don't let this go all the way through - Let it go.

- 'cause you in trouble - when I do that sh1t, girl.

- What you know about this?

You ain't oh.

You gonna You just gonna ?

Okay, look at you out here.

- You still got it.

- I oh, I never lost it!


- Shh!

Out here losing.

- Okay.

- Slow motion for me - Oh-ho!

- They done f*cked up now.

- DJ, what are you doing?

- Blessing us, that's what.

Slow motion for me, slow motion for me - Move in slow motion for me - Come on.

Unh, I like it like that - She working that back - Oh!

I don't know how to act Slow motion for me, slow motion for me Slow motion for me, move in slow motion for me Unh, I like it like that - She working that back - (MOLLY CHUCKLES)

I don't know how to act Slow motion for me, slow motion for me Slow motion for me, move in slow motion for me I'm a dick thrower, her neck and her back hurting Okay.


We should probably stop 'cause I'm sure Candice would not be too thrilled with all this high school grinding.

Plus, she got them mollywhoppin' arms and I can't fight like I used to, so.

Nah, she'd be fine with it.


No, she would not.

Molly, it's It's cool.

Candice and I, we're we're open.

- Open?

- Mm-hmm.

Open how?

Like we're in an open marriage.

We're allowed to be with other people.


Since when?

A year ago.

I'm serious, I'm serious.

Traditional marriage, that sh1t just didn't work for us.

You got married in a church.

I didn't expect things to go this way either.


Look, look, it's a lot of pressure.

To be all things to one person?

- Come on.

- Well, then make friends!

You just can't be out here cheating But it isn't cheating.

We're very honest with each other.

Isn't that how relationships work?

- I mean, I guess.

- Yeah.

It's not like we out in these streets, hoing around.

But if something happens, yo, it happens.


I don't know.

Look, people just need to figure out what works for them.

And this works for us.




Why are you on the phone?

Who are you texting?

Uh, it's just my boy that I was supposed to meet up with.

Oh, really?




Let me tell the truth Baby, let me tell the truth (CHUCKLES)

This nigga stupid.

Hate it when you cry You're scared to be lonely Do you like The Weeknd?

I'm scared that I'll miss you Yeah, he's cool.


I love The Weeknd.

He's so mm.

It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect And I know that you're worth it I can't walk away, oh Even though we're going through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us I like you.

Yeah, me, too.

I would die for you - (MOANS)

- Baby, I would die SIRI: I'm not sure what you said there.



- Sorry.


Even though we're going through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind 'Cause, baby, I would die for you Yeah, babe (ECHOES)

Die for you.



- Mm-mm, not your table.

- You didn't pay for this.

Get up.

Y'all, my motherfucking life.

Dro hit on me, hard.

- Like he's trying to f*ck.

- What?!

What the f*ck?

Why would he do that?

He said he and Candice are in an open marriage.


Like, Dro, Dro?

Dro who we know?

sh1t, I didn't even know, and I do their taxes.

- So, they both step out?

- Damn, that's progressive as f*ck.

Or is it messy as f*ck?

I thought that was some white people sh1t.

I know!

- Mm.


Well, as long as they're both being honest.

He said they are.

I mean, I guess it's better than doing sh1t behind your person's back Lying, cheating, moving out.

You talking about you.

I'm not talking about anybody specifically.

You talking about you specifically.

Damn, is anyone married like my parents anymore?

- Derek and Tiffany are.

- Mmm.

Maybe, but how do we know what happens in their marriage?

Tiffany said that Derek lived in a hotel last year.

Could I f*ck Derek?

Would I f*ck Derek?

Should I f*ck Derek?

So, are you considering this?


Girl, it's Dro.

Like, we grew up together and, yes, we kissed in middle school, but, like, that's it.

And if it was ever gonna happen, it would not be like this.

Yeah, but if he were some guy on the street Like Derek.

- would you consider it then?

- But he's not just a guy.

He's married, so that's not even on the table.

Well, now he wants to f*ck you on this table.



- Oh, yeah.



Your black cock feels so good in my white pussy.


- You like that?

Oh, f*ck, yes.

It's so f*cking huge.

Oh, I'm so wet.

Make me squirt.



I'm coming!

Yes, yes!

Oh, f*ck me good!

f*ck me long!

f*ck me numb!

- Ah, right there, right there.

- Yeah!

- Right there, right there.


LAWRENCE: Oh, yeah.




Oh, sh1t.


Oh, f*ck, yeah.

- Oh, f*ck, that was good.



My turn.

I want some, too.

Yeah, okay.



Ugh, he's soft.

Wait, I can't just go right again.

Well, then why'd you come?

Because we were f*cking?


This is bullshit.

Wait, no, no, no, no!

Look, look, look, look.

I just need a breath, you know, just a minute, and I can get him back up.

Just give me a second.


You you're just gonna stare at me like that?

What's the problem?

We've been with a bunch of other black guys who can come and keep going.

A bunch?

You know who could f*ck?


Oh, my gosh.

That night was f*cking crazy.

Remember that pad thai place that we went to after?

Oh, my God, yeah.

Let's Postmates it.


- sh1t, today's Saturday.

They'll probably have a surge charge.

Well, let's just go to the place on the corner.

- It'll be faster.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, we could still make Michelle's party.

If Debbie is there, I'm not speaking to her.

- MIKO: Ugh, she's such a bitch.

- SANDRA: She's so fat.


Oh, I know.


This looks like me, right?

MOLLY: I mean, your face is your face, but you have the hair of another person.

Best night of my damn life!

Mine was the exact opposite.

Oh, so my guy, John?

James you know what?

Let's just call him Sweetie.

Sweetie and his friends are going to Swingers, and so are we.

Great, 'cause I'm starving.

Molly, can you put this on my tab?

- Yeah, no, I got it.

- Yes!

- Hey, I'll catch up with you guys.

- All right, hurry up.

- Hey.

- Uh, we're about to head out.

Yeah, yeah, me, too.

So, what's next?

Um, I'm about to go grab some food with Issa and Kelli.


Then what?

I guess home.

Maybe I'll text you later.





Kelli, does your boy already have a table?

'Cause this right here, I can't.

Bitch, we just got here.

Don't f*ck this up for me.

- Ooh, he's in the back.

- Thank God.

My feet hurt.

These goddamn wedges.

I hate these shoes.

There they go.

- Hey, Sweetie!

- Girl, I gotta go to the bathroom.

KELLI: Thanks for saving us seats.


No worries.

You're very welcome.

And here is a menu.

You know what?

I don't need that.

I know what I want.

It's my cheat day.

I want a root beer float.

- Mm-hmm.

- Nothing but float!

SWEETIE: So, do you clap after all your sentences?

You know what?

I do what I want.


- SWEETIE: Girl, I like it.

- KELLI: Wait, let's get a selfie.

- Let's do it.

KELLI: I gotta send it to my mom.

She's scared.


But, like, what food are you gonna order?

- Like Yeah!

- SWEETIE: Oh, food!

Can't go wrong with your first choice.



Yo, is it still going down?


If it were, would I have answered the phone?


I can't believe you just met two bitches at the grocery store.

Did y'all f*ck with any of the food?

I told you you was gonna be the man, smashing random bitches and sh1t.

Was it great?

It was great, right?

Yeah, it was Yeah, it was great.

sh1t, nigga, I knew it, I knew it!

Yeah, yo, we were kicking it and drinking.

Then I started making out with one of 'em, then we were all f*cking.

Then they started doing coke, and then, you know, they were hella hungry.

Oh, nigga, you wore 'em out!

My man, 'Wrence!

'Wrence wearing that ass out!

- Yeah.

- Yeah, man.

- I am pretty worn out.

- All right, for sure.

You know we got that rec basketball game tomorrow, so better stretch tonight, nigga.



Did you get any other girls' number at Kiss-n-Grind?


Once I saw you, baby, it was a fajita.

- That's a wrap!


SWEETIE: You make that look so delicious.

- It's so good.

- SWEETIE: I really want some.

No, it's my cheat day.

You touch my food, it's over.

Sometimes I feel like flying away When I feel like my love didn't change There's a void that faces galaxy spaces Time couldn't measure You broke my love MAN: This gonna sound crazy, right?

What I wanna talk to you about is the seriousness of "Lion King" in this day and age.

So, if you were gonna make me dinner, what would you ?










It's my cheat It's cheat day.

- It's cheat day.

- Cheat day, yeah.

- KELLI: Thank you.



It's a long, long Long, long Journey to the middle Welcome to the middle Yeah, my soul bleeds over the keys of this piano I'm in trouble, need more treble My brother ran base, I rock like heavy metal, yeah We ain't talk much since '99 We have problems, like, 99 "I'm comin' home", I know he lyin' But that's my brother, so that was fine He in the pen, I'm independent I used to pen sh1t, but never send it He was like my pen pal, I pawned his pendant Then cop a pistol, no cop protection He had potential, the times was tense In those tense times, crime pays quicker The grind takes time, so no Tim Tebow He in the field, no God Dope boy lifestyle, a car, no job He had a chain, now he chained Calling collect with some change My mother cryin', I hate it I know she snitched on my brother So that's a family divided Another Christmas, no brother I jail visit my brother I'm tired of missin' my brother, yeah I hope you listenin', brother, yeah.