This... yes, we get it.
Stop panicking. It is unseemly.
Oh, Yellowstone, Mongolia, Taiwan, China.
And two in Japan.
Who knew earthquakes were magic?
No. Earthquakes are not magic.
They're the result of magic.
My old Slavic’s a little bit rusty, but I found two other incidents of massive geothermal phenomena dating as far back as 1643.
Colonel Baird, did you find the...
Hold on, my desk reset itself to Flynn's whatever.
Here! Here, here. Okay.
According to the scroll of Yosemite Sam's.
The folio of Ahwahneechee Yosemite.
Okay. According to it, "water spirits have been responsible for these similar weather anomalies dating back more than five score and nine years." Score?
It's 20 years.
It's 20 years.
I know what a score is.
I was commenting on the use of it.
You are an absolute legend, mate!
That is exactly what we need.
Yes? Good. What?
Some information on the eruptions.
What? No, that was the pizza guy.
All right. I figured if we're gonna be working all day and researching, we could use some...
It's the dragons.
Hey, you got the door working.
One, two, three. Didn't lose anybody.
Hell of a time since you've been gone.
I'm finally starting to get control of my visions.
They are not letting me have any fun.
Sir, did you come to take them away? I keep their bags packed.
So these earthquakes and geysers are being caused by dragons?
Not caused by, they are dragons.
All dragons live beneath the earth.
They sleep 90% of their lives away.
But when angered, they awake.
Jenkins will tell you they can wreak havoc.
Wait, how much havoc?
If it is dragons, until there is no more havoc to be wreaked.
Just exactly as I left it.
Yeah, about that...
Eastern dragons, oh, you never know which side of the subterranean bed they're gonna wake up on.
But, Western dragons, albeit a bit more hot-headed, see what I did there, hot-headed, are a bit more consistent.
Sir, if I may respectfully disagree, Western dragons are thugs, hoarders.
The eastern dragons being elemental spirits, one can reason with them.
If you take the time...
And Flynn, what are you talking about?
Eastern and Western dragons have been in a blood feud for 3,000 years.
That's... not dissimilar to the east coast, west coast hip hop rivalry of the late 20th century.
Hmm, Jenkins, you know about hip hop?
Ah, well, as Eric B. and Rakim so aptly flowed,
"I'm paid in full."
Uh, both types are extremely possessive, and if something of theirs is taken, they can react very harshly.
Magic coming back into the world hasn't helped.
No. The dragons waking up is apocalyptic enough that thus it requires some of the more diplomatic aspects of librarianism, and thus my premature return.
Did I just use "thus" twice?
Do you have any idea what they've taken?
No, not yet.
Stone, you and Ezekiel, you got to get on dragon history and lore.
Cassandra, I want you to focus on heat signals of the Western dragon.
Jenkins, I'm going to need my... thank you very much.
And Eve, you have to...
Not stop, go.
We have to talk.
We really don't have time for this.
I'm not even remotely prepared.
Prepared for what?
Not for what, for whom? Mr. Drake.
The eastern dragons' representative is gonna be here any minute.
A giant, winged, fire-breathing dragon is coming here?
Well, in the supernatural world, the library and thus the librarian...
I know. What is up with that?
Judson used to take care of all this sort of thing, but obviously, he's not here.
Flynn, first, how about, "hello, nice to see you."
Hello, Eve. It's nice to see you.
Nice to see you, too.
Second, Jenkins, myself, and the others, we're a solid machine here now.
You left the annex in good hands, remember?
Of course, I remember you and your hands, they're lovely.
My point is, it's not right for you to just show up from wherever...
Seven seconds in the future actually.
Was that a doorbell?
And just start giving orders.
It undermines my authority.
You want me to start taking my cues off of you.
No, not take cues.
Let's just start at the beginning.
Where have you been?
When did the annex get a doorbell?
Who here speaks for the library?
I do, mate. You got my double cheese and extra pepperoni?
Me! I do! He doesn't speak for the library!
I speak for the library.
Who speaks first, speaks for the library.
Technically, that is true.
That is true technically.
Is there not to be an intercession?
No, I don't believe there should be.
You do not speak for the library.
Is there not to be an intercession?
Intercess all you want, mate, as long as I'm intercessing with my double cheese, extra pep.
I'm assuming he doesn't have my pizza on him.
No. No, he does not.
So he's not the pizza guy?
No. No, he is not.
Let the intercession of dragons commence.
This isn't good, is it?
No. No, it is not.
Okay. So, he's a dragon in a man costume?
He is a lawyer.
I represent the Fei Lung.
Western pigs have stolen the mystic pearl of the Fei Lung.
So there's pigs and dragons now? Great.
The arbiter of the library is now on record.
He is not actually the...
You do not speak for the library!
Seriously? Are any of us...
You do not speak for the library.
Only the arbiter can speak.
If the pearl is not returned by tomorrow's sunset, I cannot withhold the fury of Fei Lung.
That's why we're gonna get that pearl back into your hands asap.
Right, Col. Baird?
Right, Mr. Carsen.
Arbiter, have you selected your counsel yet for the intercession?
You mean Jenkins?
Oh, yes. Thank... what...
I gladly accept the honor of intercession consigliore for the arbiter of the library.
Arbiter, we will begin the list of grievances in eight minutes.
Ah, well, what say the arbiter and the consigliore stay here with Mr. Drake, while the rest of us...
May I get you anything to drink?
The tears of our enemies wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed.
I have Jasmine tea.
Ooh, Jasmine. Yes, please.
Mr. Drake said mystical pearl.
He represents the eastern dragons, so I'm guessing the Pearl of Zhou.
If the Western dragons stole it, their last known stronghold was in the caverns underneath Rome.
So we are going to Rome to fight dragons who stole the mystic pearl?
I love this job.
Hopefully not fight, more extraction.
We're talking a heist here.
We're getting it back. It's a repo job.
The one time we absolutely need Jones, there's no way to pull him free?
No. He is stuck for as long as it takes to review the dragon's grievances.
What do you mean grievances?
He's written up a short list of issues the dragons have since the last intercession, which is... when was that?
Oh, yeah, San Francisco, 1906.
The earthquake that destroyed San Francisco?
Was that before or after?
Grievances were not reconciled and havoc was wreaked.
Mr. Jones, it'd really be best if I take the lead.
You don't think I can handle this.
Oh, please. I... well, let's see.
Is there a polite way of saying, "absolutely not?"
You know what, actually, who cares?
I'm a librarian.
I can handle this.
Fire up the short list of grievances, mate.
Damn. See, this was on my bucket list.
The entrance to the dragons' lair is in a little courtyard off the Vatican.
Last time we're together we broke into Buckingham Palace and now we're breaking into the Vatican?
Not into, not into. We're not breaking into.
Where is the Vatican?
I don't know.
You'd think being up this high, we could see it from here.
Is that because we're on the Vatican?
We might be on the Vatican.
Oh, my God. Was that the Pope?
Was that the Pope?
This. This is it. This is the entrance.
Wait, wait, wait. What are we looking for?
Scusi, scusi, scusi.
We're looking for riddles.
Three things that dragons love.
Sleeping, Russ Meyer movies, and riddles.
Those cops don't sound too happy.
Yeah, I'm thinking it's definitely the Pope.
Well, I'm not processing papal possibilities while we peruse the perimeter looking for puzzles.
What am I saying?
Six P's? Three thuses?
Wait, p... puzzles.
Puzzles like a series of stones, some raised slightly higher than the others?
Like, raised, rising...
God bless you.
Fibonacci sequence, golden ratios, golden like honey, honey and bees.
Honey and oatmeal.
Cassandra, listen to me.
Cassandra, listen to me.
Hey, the other memory.
The other memory.
Right. Honey, it's bees again but I'm nine years old.
Ouch. I'm stung. It hurts.
It's dying, but I feel its pain.
The pain. The... I got it.
She didn't lose control?
We've been working on it together.
Oh, I lost it.
I don't know where it is, it's either the left or the center, or the right.
I'm not sure which one.
These are not all the same stone.
This is early Roman concrete, right after they switched from marble.
The ones she pushed were concrete, not rock.
Like that one. I got it.
(Police radio chatter)
Do you have any idea what's down there?
Nope. That's the best part.
Okay. I think...
That I should go first as guardian.
We didn't hear from you.
Last few weeks you said you were going to find a way to bring the library back.
Yeah? Well, I'm still working on it.
I'm close. I mean, I'm almost close.
Wait, you could...
I've been getting a lot closer if I could just get closer.
Riddle or trap?
I will check. Right, Flynn?
[Clears throat] Yeah, right.
That's never a good sound. [Gasps]
That was close.
This is very familiar.
Okay, well, what did you do last time?
Well, before, what happened was it was all sort of based on a kind of a rhythm thing.
This is very... so wh...
Cassandra: Is it over?
Ha ha! It's sound. Sound's what's making it go.
Huh? I don't understand. - We just have to keep making lots of noise!
I'm gonna draw the fire! - What are you doing besides making me yell?
What are you doing?
What is happening?!
Stone, grab the pearl!
Dragons always play by the rules. There's got to be a clue.
I'm telling you, they look the same.
The boxes are different!
That's African wood carving.
That's 19th-century Russian.
And that's Asian. That's Asian.
It's Ichiboku style.
Someone please tell me it's over.
Stone, you all right?
Yep. I'm real good.
Stone, what are you doing? We're not done.
The Lorenzo Museum is here.
They have the biggest collection of original Divittanis in the world.
Not that you'd appreciate that.
Is he trying to be like me, doing the whole kind of cryptic banter...
...'Cause he's not doing it right.
Please stop talking.
Drake: 203... Over-flight privileges for the North American territories.
Arbiter, what is your response to 203?
He's a terrible arbiter.
Preaching to the choir, bub.
It's not the pizza.
I am Dabra of the City of Bronze, representative of the Jinn.
Dabra: I am here for the conclave.
Someone called a conclave?
Was I deceived?
If so, I will drown the world in blood!
No blood drowning.
Ezekiel: Welcome to the conclave.
No... no. Don't.
This is, uh, Lady Syla...
Sylalandria. Of the Fae Legions.
This is, uh...
Cuchlann of the Iron Kingdom.
Oh, now, c-come on. This is just a bunch of consonants in a row.
That's not... what?
Someone must have called a quorum.
Then what's a conclave?
It is a U.N. For all of the supernatural factions where they can peaceably resolve their differences and over which the arbiter of the library presides.
And we're negotiating with Mr. Drake. Got it.
Hey. You so don't got it.
You know, I warned you. And per usual, I was ignored.
You know something?
It's fitting that Flynn should show up now when you people are proving that you shouldn't even be here.
Be here in your annex. Yeah.
Heard that one before. Not your annex.
I'm tired of you making that mistake.
You're not a librarian!
You're a thief!
And a thief who does not know what he's doing.
I never know what I'm doing. That's my superpower, mate.
Smarter to be lucky than lucky to be smart.
Baird: What did that pearl do to Stone?
I wish I knew.
The pearls aren't supposed to have any magical powers.
Jenkins' door must have scrambled my senses.
Okay, that is something I would have liked to have known before we broke into...
...The Vatican to fight...
That wall just moved by itself.
Also, I don't think it's actually a wall.
Hic debetis non esse, parva.
Uh... Hi. Sorry to... to wake you.
We, uh... and that part about coming in to rob you, that was actually a funny story.
Not that funny.
We came to retrieve the pearl.
Margaritam con clepsimus, bibliothecari.
He says they didn't take it.
But the pearl was here.
Dragons can't lie.
It's part of their being magic.
So, if he's not lying, then someone is framing the Western dragons.
See, the things that come out of my mouth don't even bother me anymore.
Uh, Mr. dragon, quick question.
Can you at least get us out of here so we can get the pearl back to the other dragons and, you know, stop the apocalypse?
The definitive collection of Divittani landscapes and you've hung "Rain" next to "Thorn Field."
Are you insane?
Does this look like "Thorn field" to you?
Huh? It's a metaphor. You people don't appreciate art.
No. Come... come on!
Stone, what's wrong with you?!
Sorry for the disturbance.
This is a NATO exercise testing museum security.
We now need to debrief, make sure we passed.
Ciao. Grazie Mille.
All right. Come on, Cassandra.
Cassandra, what is that you have there?
Careful. Whatever was in that pearl is dangerous.
Oh, no. It's not dangerous.
But I think I am.
[Whimpering] A little criticism.
Since I've been back, the librarians seem kind of evil.
[Conversing in Italian]
[Speaks Italian] It's not them.
It's whatever's inside that pearl.
And so seconded.
Bam! Next order of business... motion to allow lupin membership for both the Guild of Fictional Entities and the World Crime League on a provisional basis.
Do I hear a second?
The motion is seconded. All those in favor?
Pleasure to be your arbiter.
Dulaque: A request to be recognized.
Ezekiel: That's the Dulaque bloke.
Is he eating my extra cheese and double pepperoni?
He is evil.
Jenkins, you gonna help me out here or what?
Does the arbiter recognize me?
Nope. Never seen you before.
The Fae Legions vouchsafe the son of Ban and accept his bona fides.
My esteemed colleagues, entities, extra-planar beings.
These have been trying times, and yet, how long has it been since we met in conclave?
Long enough for once small problems to fester.
Because the librarian refused to deal with it.
I submit that the library has outlived its usefulness.
In fact, if rumor is to be believed, the current librarian has lost the library itself.
Only because you attacked it!
An unfounded accusation.
Hardly proper from the arbiter.
Are these the hands we should be putting our trust in?
What other hands did you have in mind?
I mean, she's right, you know.
I felt like I had all the answers, nobody else mattered.
Hubris. It's almost as if...
The apple of discord.
The apple of discord, created by the goddess Erys to wreak havoc.
Although she was afraid of blowback, so it doesn't really change you, but it does turn you into the worst version of yourself.
So you're saying I'm gonna break somebody's skull over misinterpreted landscape?
Hate the apple, not the librarian.
Okay. Two things. One... we're never allowed in this museum again.
Well, that makes sense.
And secondly... Ezekiel Jones can never touch whatever that thing was.
The apple of discord. We have to get to Cassandra.
Only the good news is, how bad could evil Cassandra really be?
You look different.
Oh, you have no idea.
Radii, ratio, power, force, four, four square, Molly Ronder took my ball and forced me to cry at school, school, numbers, input, effort, load.
What are you doing? [Laughs]
Do you know what force ratios are?
Mass, inertia, velocity?
You should really look it up.
In this case, I'm thinking, oh, eight pounds per.
You brought this on yourself.
Eight pounds of pressure per square inch.
Saphenous nerve cluster.
Three pounds of pressure per inch.
And six pounds of pressure to the carotid artery stops blood flow to the brain.
This is unsatisfying.
I do like this force-ratio thing.
What to do?
A power plant.
You know something?
Every lecture, you make everyone feel like idiots, but you slide just enough hints in there to point us in the right direction.
You want to help us.
Good luck in prison.
But at the same time, you act like you're better than everyone else.
Complain about how we're in your way, invading your annex.
You know, I could never figure out the real you until now.
The real you is a coward.
I am not a coward, not for leaving this situation.
You do not know...
Not a coward for leaving but for not choosing between the two.
Interesting lecture for a man who can't decide whether he's going to be a thief or a librarian.
Yeah? Well, this librarian is going back in there to save this place, and this thief is going back in there to take Dulaque down a peg.
Neither one's running away.
I did choose.
I chose a side in a very complicated...
No good came of it.
And over the years, I chose again and again.
Each time, a little hope, lots of blood.
But nothing really changed.
I finally learned my lesson.
And I came here...
...just to do my work alone...
Because why choose?
Nothing... oh, God.
Nothing... ever changes.
[Sighs] You did.
What did you do to Cassandra?
The question is, what can your girl do with a power plant?
You know she tried to kill me, right?
She tried to kill me, too.
Population... 2.8 million.
But if we take a concentric step down...
...gives us a wider dispersal progression past Rome.
You stole my pizza!
I motion to close the floor.
Thank you, librarian. I second the motion.
Which means it's time to call for a vote to remove the librarians as arbiters of the conclave.
Wait, no. I move to reopen the floor.
I mean, we...
Jenkins: Point of order.
The Yalta Resolution of 1123 states that no conclave can begin without first reading the minutes of the previous conclave.
Dulaque: That should happen at the beginning of the meeting.
As noted in the second amendment of the Wold Newton bylaws section "C," paragraph nine, in case of a transition between negotiations... you declared a conclave.
Mr. Drake properly declared an intercession.
However, Mr. Jones did not properly announce the conclave, so we have skipped the minutes.
After all, he is a terrible arbiter.
Wouldn't do to muck about with protocol.
You'll find the minutes in section "F," shelve 23, if you please.
Well, this could take awhile.
You have to dump the trains and the municipal grids first.
Guess you found me, huh?
What you doing?
Oh, I was just gonna use this one little power station to set up a cascade failure of Europe's power grid.
Bonus points if I can jump the channel and shut down London.
[Alarm blaring] If this is what the apple does to Cassandra, we are definitely not letting Ezekiel get his hands on it.
Well, that's gonna hurt a lot of folks.
Uh-huh. Death-toll estimates are between 680,000 and 845,000, give or take, depending on the number of electrocutions.
But, oh, the total and complete infrastructure collapse... mm... that's gonna be the yummiest.
Because practical applications are more fun than theories.
See, I have this gift, and it lets me calculate everything, see everything.
And yet I never take it all the way down.
Now zip it, Blondie.
In rings of rocks and quarks.
Cassandra, what's the last digit in PI?
There isn't one. Pi is irrational.
No, I'm... I'm pretty sure that there is.
What's the... the other one?
Euler's number, it ends with a 6?
I just said Pi is irrational.
If you really think about it...
if I think about it? If? [Laughs]
See, I am always thinking about everything all of the time!
I have all of the numbers inside of my head!
So I am not some stupid Sci-Fi robot that you can put into a recursive loop with some dumb trick like...
Did you say 6?
Euler was the off switch, not Pi.
Well, she writes a lot in this little notebook, and I pay attention.
Apple! All right.
What happened to my clothes?
All right, come on.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
Yeah. Ditch the snot-nosed sidekicks, get ourselves a penthouse with room service and a view?
But first we take over the world?
I like this plan.
Oh, your world or mine?
Well, mine's bigger.
Bigger isn't always better.
Well, both then. After all, we need the power.
You don't get to just walk in and take charge.
I am in charge. I do the job every day!
I'm in charge because I wield the power of the library, and you can't even imagine the burden...
You run around like a half-wit clown... you'd die without me, literally dead!
Half-wit clown?! If it wasn't for me, you would still be a civilian with no sense of magic!
Eve, wait! Wait!
If I have the responsibility, I get the command, and you all need to shut up and follow orders!
I could cut you to ribbons.
What is going on with this day?
Flynn, please don't kill Lamia.
Yes. Listen to your guardian.
"Listen to your guardian." "Don't kill the Lamia."
You're not worth my time! None of you are worth my time.
When I think of all the sacrifice, all the years, the magic I know, I could be a God!
Motion to accept cellular-phone technology as a formal branch of wizardry was accepted by...
I move to accept the minutes and return to the business at hand.
I'd rather hear the rest of the minutes.
You refuse to call for a vote?
A motion has been made and seconded but refuses to call for a vote.
The arbiter is out of order.
I call for an immediate vote of no confidence in the arbiter and, by extension, the librarians.
I call for a vote to end the library!
Flynn, you're not thinking straight.
Thinking straight? I've never thought straighter in my life.
Last chance, Eve. You and me and all the magic in the world.
But bring something that shows a little skin for once.
Lamia: You know, between us girls, evil Flynn's a little... You know.
Do I have a second?
You don't even know what you're voting for.
Oh, no, Mr. Drake?
Nice pair of clichés on your feet, by the way.
This is a conclave, and Dulaque has called for a vote which could only be a vote of no confidence, which means...
You three again.
Out! Out, I say!
Out, minions! Out, imposters!
Where was I?
Ah, yes. I'm the librarian.
Not that broken-down chicken little and not his highly overrated criminal companion.
The librarian, the big no-o-o-o-o-ise!
How are you, Dabra?
Still cheating on those seven wives of yours?
Doing that whole "drowning the world in blood" thing every time you're feeling a little insecure?
Why, Lady Syl.
Still working on those self-esteem issues by throwing yourself at...
Is that word even in your vocabulary?
Flynn: If you want it...
I mean, if you really want it, you can have it.
Take the library, take the books, take the artifacts, take the responsibility!
I don't want it!
I have seen things... magic and power.
Do you honestly think that any single one of you could take me?
Are you ill?
I've never felt better in my life.
How clear is my thinking?
How good do I feel? How good do I look?
We need to get that apple away from him.
It makes people evil.
I can get it.
I don't think so.
Last thing we need right now is an evil you.
Well, someone has to get that apple away from him.
As I said to Jane Addams once during a very aggressive game of croquet, the best offense is really just a good... offense.
The presidency would be easy, but that's not real power.
Presidency of the world, all the nations answering to me, yes.
And think of the wardrobe.
You're a disgrace to this library and to Judson.
Now release that apple.
Oh, you don't say that name.
In fact, I don't even really know why I let you stay here, you miserable charity case!
Now, I call for a vote of no confidence, and I expect each and every one of you pathetic excuses...
Let me finish.
Pathetic excuses for bad, because you're all wonderful.
And we need to put all this foolishness behind us before things get out of hand.
Um, unrestrained magic can be dangerous.
I mean, all it really takes is one lunatic, one Pol Pot, one Nero, one apple-wielding, overworked, unappreciative, but genuinely kind of a nice guy who has access to that kind of power to make it all go away.
And it can all go away, unless... and this is really the takeaway here... we have a library.
And that is why we need a librarian, right?
To protect us.
To protect us all.
You pick-pocketed the apple?
Jenkins distracted him.
Are you evil?
Don't feel any different.
Are you immune?
No, he's already... the worst version of himself.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What were you thinking?
I was actually just thinking that I now appreciate the advantage of having both a librarian and a thief.
Librarians aren't perfect. None of us are.
Somebody needs to hold the line.
Somebody needs to keep it on an even keel.
And that being said, Mr. arbiter, I believe we have a motion on the floor.
All in favor of replacing the librarians or whatever.
Sounds pretty unanimous to me.
We don't agree.
Our business is not done.
You have not returned the stolen pearl of the Fei Lung.
You have not fulfilled your duties as arbiter.
And for that, the Fei Lung will wreak horrible vengeance.
They will... shouldn't you have bolted the minute this turned up, mate?
You see, ladies, gents, the minute I heard the story of the stolen pearl, my very good thief brain began thinking, who had access?
Who do the eastern dragons trust?
Any idea who that could be, Mr. Drake?
And that, my dear friends, is how you arbit.
I know this was you.
All of it.
Mr. Drake stealing the pearl, the conclave, trying to take the library.
Was I that transparent?
You woke the dragons. Are you insane?
They would have destroyed the world.
60%. 65% at most.
It's not too late, you know. You can still join me.
The conclave is over, Mr. Dulaque.
Of course, our sides have always been chosen for us, haven't they?
No. We choose.
1,000 years ago.
You know that very moment when you [Sighs] and I stopped being... Whatever we were.
If I hadn't tried, I'd actually be the monster you think I am.
Half-wit clown here.
Hey, people like clowns.
Really? Name one.
Well, you're still a member of the NATO counterterrorism group.
Sign those papers and you're permanently transferred to the library.
Tear them up and you can leave tomorrow.
What brought this on?
I'm giving you a choice.
I met you, we recruited you, I gave you a job, and then I took off, and that's no way... that's not how... that's... that's not... I want to treat like an equal.
You're out of practice being with people.
Well, I'm out of practice being a person.
You've really built something here.
I mean, Stone knows Cassandra well enough to help her with her visions.
Ezekiel Jones and Jenkins working together?
Are you kidding me?
Listen, they listen to you, and it's because you're here and you're... Doing the job.
This is your space now, not mine.
Try telling the desk that.
It hasn't quite figured that out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
I'll stay if you stay.
How did you know that I had a pen?
'Cause I pay attention.
I'll stay. But you go.
Go back out.
Well, I'm gonna stay if I want to stay 'cause librarian/library...
We had two missions.
Mine was to train them, and they're doing okay.
Oh, I'd say they're doing better than okay. In fact, I...
Yours was to find the library.
And I look in your eyes, and I know you haven't given up.
Go finish your mission.
Are you sure? Are you really sure?
Absolutely. If there's one thing I know, it's when a mission's not done, and yours just isn't.
Or maybe I'm wrong. May...
Come back alive, librarian.
Oh, come on!