04x03 - Christopher

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Sopranos". Aired January 10, 1999 - June 10, 2007.*
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Tony Soprano, a New Jersey-based Italian-American mobster, faces difficulties as he tries to balance his family life with his role as the leader of a criminal organization.
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04x03 - Christopher

Post by bunniefuu »


It happens.

Massachusetts! Listen to this sh*t.

"New Jersey Council of Indian Affairs has announced plans "to disrupt Monday's Columbus Day Parade in Newark.

"Council Chairman, Del Redclay, Professor of Cultural Anthropology " Stop blowing your nose, I want to hear this.

" says council members and supporters will lie down "in the path of Columbus Day marchers "'in protest of Columbus' role in the genocide "'of America's native peoples.

' "To launch their protest, the Native Americans and their sympathizers "plan to begin a deathwatch tomorrow "over the statue of Columbus in Christopher Columbus Park.

" Some f*cking balls, bad-mouthing America, especially now.

I thought that Columbus was the hero of America.

See, it's these Indians and the Commie fucks.

They wanna paint Columbus as a sl*ve trader instead of an explorer.

You gotta admit, they did get massacred, the Indians.

We gave them a bunch a sh*t to make up for that.

Land, reservations.

And now they got the casinos.

What the f*ck we ever get we didn't have to work for? I wouldn't mind sitting all day smoking mushrooms and collecting government checks.

You know what it is? I'll tell you what it is.

It's anti-Italian discrimination.

Columbus Day is a day of Italian pride.

It's our holiday, and they wanna take it away.

f*ck them.

But I never liked Columbus.

In Napoli, a lot of people are not so happy for Columbus - 'cause he was from Genova.

- What's the problem with Genova? The North of Italy always have the money and the power.

They punish the South since hundreds of years.

Even today, they put up their nose at us, like we're peasants.

I hate the North.

- Jesus, take it easy.

- I'm gonna take action, here.

Ro, gonna go to the church luncheon tomorrow? It's on the subject of Italian-American women and pride.

- I guess 'cause of Columbus Day.

- Who's the star? - A woman professor from Montclair State.

- Father Phil says she's very good.

- You should come, Adriana.

- Me? Yeah, come with us.

Noon in the bingo room at Saint Peter and Paul's.

They have a series of ladies' luncheons every week.

The food is good, and the speakers have been fantastic.

Furio Giunta just bought himself a little house in Nutley.

He is so gorgeous.

I'm surprised nobody snapped him up yet.

- I think he should lose the ponytail.

- You do? - I think it looks great on him.

- That's his trademark.

Sandi Fortunato says it looks like a d*ck coming out of his head.

And she pretends to be his friend.

What a two-face.

How much money did you make today, slut? - $300.

- That's all, bitch? I'm gonna put you back on the street.

Make you work that ass.

- Put me back on the street, baby, yeah.

- Work that ass, you little c**t.

Yeah, you work it, baby.

Mama's little tramp.

Mama's little whore.

I'm gonna pimp you out, bitch.

I gotta get that.

Hello? No.

Hi, Ro, how are you? What? I can't hear you too good.

It must be your cell phone.

You in the car? No, I'm coming home.


No, chicken's great.



Me, too.


God, we're so naughty.

- How can we do this with Ro on the phone? - What? We're so wacky.

No regard for nothing.

- Operator.

- Yeah, I'd like to make a collect call.

Area code 917.


Collect call from Mr.


Okay, I'll take it, operator.

- How you doing? - You know.

Thanks for the stamps.

How you getting on? I feel old.

Listen, John I just want to say I hope your feelings weren't hurt too bad, and that it never got back to the missus.

- The f*ck you talking about? - You didn't hear the joke about Ginny? Never mind.

Let it die a death.

What joke? You're better off not hearing it.

Trust me.

f*ck that! I demand you tell me, Paulie! John, you got more laborers on that job site than we got carpenters.

What's the problem? The carpenters are carrying sheetrock and materials.

- We ain't getting what we expected to get.

- Minimally expected.

Let Massarone hire more laborers off the books.

Nobody's talking to you! All right, Jesus.

Johnny, you explain the other thing I want to talk about.


Tony, we've discovered you bought property around Frelinghuysen Avenue and turned it in a week.

So? You did it with inside knowledge from Ron Zellman.

Got your attention from where? That property's hot because of the Esplanade.

We share the Esplanade.

We share Zellman.

If the Soprano family's gonna benefit from a thing, Carmine feels we should, too.

Okay, we'll work something out.

I've been your doctor for 30 years, you stil hate the thermometer.

Tony, Furio's here! Thank you for bringing those strufoli.

I love those.

Here's a few long-term bonds that I find attractive.

Wouldn't it be great if the person you trust most was your broker? Let's look at your allocations.

At Schwab, we give advice that's not driven by commission.

Call 1- 800-7-SCHWAB to set up a consultation to check the health of your portfolio.

And lay off the junk bonds.

- I got pictures of my new house.

- Let me see.

We'll come back.

We're here today with our guests Dr.

Dell Redclay, who's a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University and spokesman for the anti-Columbus protest.

My God.

And also Mr.

Philip L.

Di Notti It's lovely.

a coalition of Italian-American anti-defamation organizations.


- This thing gets on my nerves.

- Don't get me started.

Well, let's start with the idea of a parade for a genocidal colonial general.

A national holiday, no less.

- Such festivities are deeply offensive to us.

- These are pretty broad charges.

All know is Italian Americans are extremely proud of Christopher Columbus admiral of the ocean seas, and a great Italian.

You know very well of the compromised position we put forth.

Now, if you people wanna make it an Italian pride parade we have no problem with that.

Western history says Columbus discovered America.

The same America that put your people in bondage for three centuries.

But every culture has had to bear the pain in the making of what I think we can all agree is a startling economic miracle.

- We cured polio.

- I have to agree with Phil.

- The right to vote.

- Exactly.

Take my grandparents.

Two simple people from Sicily - who braved the perilous middle passage - Middle passage? That's the term for the sl*ve trade.

Montel, the Italian people in this country also have suffered discrimination.

Earth to Phil.

We're talking 300 years of sl*very, here.


You okay, Tony? You look a little muscia-moosh.

Uncle Jun's trial starts today.

- First Soprano family trial in 16 years.

- We should go.

The guys are gonna be at the other place.

Thank you for the cookies.

And congratulations on that house.

And I like the kitchen.

Take a strufoli.

Be seated.

Next case on the calendar United States of America versus Corrado John Soprano et all.

Any applications before I bring in the jury? No, your honor.

- Bring the jury.

- Telephone charges on your last bill? Cost me $40 every time you pick up the phone.

I can't $2,380, last month alone.

I'm going to give you some preliminary instructions and explain the process by which we will try this case.

The first order of business Looking out at this audience of proud, strong, beautiful women how far we have come in this American journey.

Look how we've both preserved the tradition of our ancestors and managed to become new Italian-American women.

Such flair we have added to our image.

And yet, America still sees us as pizza makers and Mama Leones.

It is your job, ladies, to spread the word.

Our grandmothers may have been dressed in black but we're in Moschino and Armani.

For those who say Italian Americans eat smelly cheese and sip cold wine tell them we're from the land of aromatic Asiago and supple Barolo.

If they say, "Spaghetti and meatballs" you tell them, "Orecchiette with broccoli rabe.

" If they say, "John Gotti," you tell them, "Rudolph Giuliani.

" A Princeton study showed that 74 percent of Americans associated Italian Americans with organized crime.

Why would they do this? Because of the way the media depict us.

Again, it is our job to make sure people know the other side of Italian-American culture.

The educated, wage-earning, law-abiding side.

Because isn't that who we truly are? Thank you.

Thank you, Professor Murphy or should I call you Professor Longo-Murphy? Longo as you don't call me late for dinner.

Small point: Didn't I read about a more recent study at Fairleigh Dickinson that found the opposite was true? That the great majority of Americans recognize these are fictional portrayals? We're still looking at the sample selection criteria used in that study.

Well, thanks for an excellent talk.

And thank you all for attending today.

Don't miss Professor Murphy's new book: Strega: The Sorceress as Imago Figure in Italian Literature.

And stick around for coffee and dessert, courtesy of Cocuzzo's pastry shop.

I'll say it, that was totally uncalled for.

- Father Intintola's forgetting his friends.

- It was outrageous.

I'm shocked.

- Everyone's entitled to their opinion.

- Really, though, how dare he? - After all you've done for this parish.

- What are you gonna do? I'm gonna cut him a new one.

Father, I don't know what to say, I'm so upset.

- Why, what's wrong? - What's wrong? Carmela is one of your biggest supporters and friends.

How dare you let her suffer humiliation and embarrassment - at the hands of an outsider? - What do you mean? You know exactly what I mean.

Unfortunately, because of her husband's high profile in the waste industry she's the one who bears the brunt of insults.

But there were many of us who were equally offended.

I am sorry.

This is an open forum.

You did hear me bring up that new study.

If that's your idea of a good luncheon speaker I suggest you think about who really keeps this parish alive year after year.

The size of your cities pain the eyes of the red man.

A man in your cities is numb to the stench Go back to your reservation! Mussolini was h*tler's bitch! Go back! In the words of Chief Seattle: "For the last Red Man shall have perished "and the memory of my tribe "shall have become a myth among the White Men " Take your tom-toms and get out of here! You son of a bitch! " these shores, these woods, the highway will swarm "with the invisible dead of our people! The White Man will never be alone!" This is Newark, baby, we don't play that sh*t! And that better not be Columbus! - Take it down.

- He's going to burn - the way our ancestors did! - Go sit down, cupcake! - We're not taking anything down! - We're gonna f*cking hang you up there! Break it up! Let's break it up! - We will make arrests! - What the f*ck is this, Joey? They got a permit, Sil.

Everybody, come on, let's go! - Everybody! - I'll remember this, Joey.

Come on.

Come on.

You, too.

Let me go.

All right, we gotta go.


Down with globalization! What are you doing? This is a peaceful demonstration, here.

Everybody, get over here! Get him out of here.

- Take the whole family.

- Let's do it.

Orecchiette and broccoli rabe.

The truth is, that is Northern.

Armani, too.

And Michelangelo.

What a coward that man is.

He's always been a lily-liver.

- He's sweet.

- What did he say? He's all apologetic now.

I let him have it.

You did what you could.

I couldn't leave here without saying something.

I gotta go.

I'm getting my new crown today.

All right, bye.

Karen, bring Bobby and the kids over for a cookout on Saturday.

- Hello? - It's me, Dad.

- What's up, Bobby? - Mom tried to call you.

She wants you to pick up some steaks and eggplants before you come home.

She can't do it? I'm stuck in traffic, now I gotta go to the store? She had to go get some crowns or something.

Your mother's a real pain in the you-know-what sometimes.

When she gets home, tell her I said, "Thanks a lot.

" - Lf you can't find the recipe, I'll ask Angie.

- It's around here somewhere.


Hi, Gab.

What? When? Oh, my God! No! God, that's terrible.

Yeah, okay.

What happened? Karen had an accident on Pompton Avenue.

She's dead.

I get home for dinner last night, Gabby's sitting there devastated.

I just saw Karen at ShopRite last week.

You talking about Karen? Great kid.

This happened to this doctor I know.

Oriental ran right into him.

What's Bobby gonna do? He adored that woman.

What are you doing getting arrested when this family's on trial? - I'm sorry - You went down there, too.

- No.

- It was my idea.

What the f*ck? We got little Paulie in St.


Plus, we lost face there.

This is something that hits home.

I can't turn the other cheek on this.

I know, but we're running a business, here.

Don't you all got something to do? What's with you? I count on you to be the most level-headed guy I got.

My father was a Knight of Columbus.

I'm Italian American and I pay money to the Italian Anti-Defamation Coordination Council, and basta.

- We're the victims here.

- You write a check, too? Let's not forget.

It was a friend of ours, Joe Columbo who founded the first Italian-American anti-defamation organization.

- You were still out of line.

- You're right.

A hundred percent.

But? Well as your consigliere, since you ask I think the guys, and myself, too, we need your leadership on this.

All right, good.

I understand you wanna do something, but use your brain.

Believe me, me and Ralphie are working on a few things.

This battle's gonna be won on the PR level.

Hearts and minds.

They manipulate your image, Columbus you manipulate theirs.

All right.

- Who's calling, please? - Good morning, Assemblyman.

What's up? You know this protest with the Indians and Columbus Day? I heard about it.

We need somebody to make it go away.

Boy, that's a tough one.

Real hot potato.

- Nobody wants to touch it.

- We just want a peaceful parade like always, with no interference.

What's wrong with that? It's the First Amendment, and it's Native Americans.

Very sensitive stuff.

My hands are tied on this one.


- Yeah, fine.

- I will be attending the parade as always.

You got my support there.

I wish that I could The last time that you dated a friend and colleague of your brother's, he left you flat disappeared into the witness protection program.

- I know.

- Now, another man who works with your brother unable to meet your basic needs for love and respect involved with another woman.

Which brings me back to my childhood.

And my mother and my father.

Now we're talking.

Where I had no love and no support.

And where I was shamed and ridiculed for being artistic.

In your relationship with these men you have replaced your father with your brother as a figure of authority that you need to prove something to.

You set up these scenarios with these men similar to your father and your brother, seeking your brother i.


, your father's acceptance.

- The hell with them.

- I know.

The work is to make new choices that have nothing to do with old patterns.

I want to, Sandy, I do.

God give me the strength.

She will.

Your Star-Ledger interview conflicts with Eye on New Jersey.

Del Redclay, right? I knew it.

Yeah, I saw you on Channel 20.

Don't get up.

I'm Henry Caruso.

Pleased to meet you.

- Now this lovely lady - Maggie Donner, I'm Del's TA.

Yes, I can see that.

Well, I might as well get to the point.

I represent a group of concerned citizens who are very upset about this protest you're spearheading, no puns intended.

- Who do you represent? - Italians.

Here in New Jersey.

Good people.

Family people.

And they've asked me to tell you that it's not in your best interest to go through with this.

If you've come here to intimidate me - you don't know much about Indian resolve.

- Should I call security? - You remember this guy? - Iron Eyes Cody, he was an actor.

Son of Paleface, Sitting Bull.

Your f*cking poster boy.

Part Cherokee, part Cree.

He wasn't even a f*cking Indian.

Second generation Sicilian from Louisiana named Espera DeCorti.

- I think you better leave now.

- The guy's a total f*cking phony.

A total fugace.

Even Jay Silverheels knew it.

But he kept it quiet.

We're not gonna.

You keep up your bullshit, we're gonna go wide with this thing.

Knock yourself out.

Jesus Christ, is this true? This is a f*cking disaster! Chill out.

You didn't know about this? - It's been on Access Holywood, E! - This is a major PR boner.

It's been researched.

Cody was definitely Native American.

Total environmentalist.

- Are you sure about this? - Look, I'm one-eighth Italian myself.

You are? You never told me that.

My great-great something or other was a pony soldier.

Well, actually he was a violinist attached to the Seventh Cavalry.

That is just one person's opinion, Anthony.

What, football again? He's not gonna get hurt, he's a tough kid.


We're having a discussion about Christopher Columbus.

"They would make fine servants.

"With 50 men, we could subgate them " Subjugate.

" and make them do whatever we want.

" That doesn't sound like a sl*ve trader to you? George Washington had slaves, the father of our country.

Well, what's your point? His history teacher, Mr.

Cushman, is teaching your son that if Columbus was alive today, he'd go on trial for crimes against humanity like Milosevic in, you know, Europe.

Your teacher said that? It's not just my teacher, it's the truth.

It's in my history book.

So you finally read a book and it's bullshit.

You had to walk in Columbus' shoes to see what he went through.

People thought the world was flat, for crying out loud.

Then he lands on an island with a bunch of naked savages on it.

That took a lot of guts.

You remember when we went to Florida, the heat, and those bugs? Like it took guts to m*rder people and put them in chains.

- He was a victim of his time.

- Who cares? It's what he did.

He discovered America, is what he did.

He was a brave Italian explorer.

And in this house, Christopher Columbus is a hero.

End of story.

I should've known.

I should've known you needed me.

I should've been with you.

I should've been in your place.

My love, my sweet love.

How he loved her.

You know what I heard one time? Sil was on the phone.

He was talking with somebody about how Bobby was the only one of them who doesn't have a cumare.

They were laughing at him.

- Who was he talking to on the phone? - I don't know.

I'll go first this time.

I'll bring my eggplant parm over to Bobby's.

Actually, tomorrow is better for me.

Ginny, hi.

We were just talking about who's gonna do what when.

I played canasta with her just last week.

There he is.

John, look I'm sorry I missed Allegra's nursing school graduation.


But I made it up to her.

Stick it in your ass.

- Hey, Count Chocula - What the f*ck, John? Keep him away from me.

- John, what's going on? - I don't wanna talk about it.

What's this? I have no f*cking idea.

But I got better sh*t to do.

You saw how it was with them at dinner the other night? Something's going on.

Plus, out of nowhere, Carmine's up my ass on this Frelinghuysen Avenue bullshit.

Somebody's talking too much.

And it's costing me money.

Come on.

There's no release.

I'm surrounded by death.

My husband, my son, my friend.

I don't know what to tell you, Ro.

There's pieces torn out of me, chunks of me that are dead.

Look at me.

My youth, my looks, they're gone.


That's from not taking care of yourself.

- Dwelling on all this stuff.

- It's not "stuff.

" Do you have any idea what it feels like? Do you? It's not "stuff.

" It's death, it's pain! I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this.

- I don't know.

- You don't know what? I don't think I can do this.

I don't think I can help you.

You need a lot right now.

I don't think there's anything I can do.

You can be there for me, you could comfort me.

What about me? - What do I get out of it? - There it is.

Right there.

What do you get? How about your every need taken care of? Sexually, everything! All your sh*t.

It's all about you, isn't it? It's not all about me, but, I mean - let's be realistic.

- "Let's be realistic"? What, you wanna leave me? Yeah.

Then get the f*ck out.

It doesn't have to be like this.

How should it be? How the f*ck should it be? Somehow Carmine found out we were flipping properties on Frelinghuysen Avenue, so your take's a little less than we talked about.

He makes an issue out of Zellman? - What's this one called, Hesh? - This is Pie-O-My.

Just broke her maiden at Belmont last month.

A lot of speed.

- I'm buying her.

- Cool, man.

She's beautiful.

That's right.

Don't you know somebody over there at Deerpark Casino in Connecticut? Run by the Mohonk tribe? Yeah, Marty.

My niece's husband.

This Columbus Day protest, we need somebody to make it go away.

What's wrong with freedom of speech? Listen to my kid talking about Columbus.

Calls him a murdering thief.

- They wiped out almost all of my people.

- Cubans are from Spain.

They were Taino Indians who got r*ped by Columbus and the Conquistadors.

That's right, Reuben.

Mulignon got Martin Luther King Day, what do we got? - I have sympathy for the red man.

- Why is that? Jews, because of their history, have common cause with the oppressed.

Some Indians were deliberately given blankets tainted with smallpox.

- d*ed like flies.

- No sh*t? - Yeah, sh*t.

- Yeah? You wanna talk about terrorism? Look who started it.

- Amen to that, my friend.

- That's right.

Christopher Columbus was no better than Adolf h*tler.

Back up.

- h*tler? - Yeah.

I'm not the only one who thinks so.

That Indian from the protest who was whining about the wilderness? They had him on T.


, and he called Columbus h*tler.

- 'Cause it's true, man.

- You're talking out of your ass.

Columbus and h*tler? You're trivializing the Holocaust.

Frankly, Reuben, if you got that kind of covert anti-Semitism I'd like you to leave my house.

- Anti-Semitism? - That's right.

f*ck you, too, my man! Guys, come on.

Reuben, Hesh, you guys been friends for years.

I'll call Marty up in Connecticut.

He knows a big Mohonk.

That cocksucker.

We're not tired.

I didn't spill food 'cause I'm tired.

Don't argue, okay? Listen to your Aunt Grace and Aunt Mary.

Do what they say.

All right, say good night to your Aunt Carmela.

Good night, Aunt Carmela.

It's great your family could come down.

They're leaving tomorrow.

Somebody's sick up there.

Dad? - Dad, Sophia locked the door! - Should I get that? He takes all my pencils! - Baccilieri residence.

- Carmela, is that you? - It's Corrado.

- Hello.

How's my boy, Bobby, doing? He knows I couldn't make it to the services.

- He's all right, he's upstairs with the kids.

- What a heartbreak.

You know, I remember the first time I met her like it was yesterday.

It was my birthday dinner at Roman Gardens.

I'll never forget it.

She said I looked like Pablo Picasso.

And l didn't even know what he looked like.

But one day, she showed me a picture of him and, you know, she was right.

That's very touching.

Let me get Bobby.

I wanna know if he'll pick me up for court or if I should call Murf.

Maybe you should let Bobby be.

Think about his needs instead of your own.

It's not me.

Don't villainize me, here.

Murf goes to bed early, so I wanted to call him now if I need him to drive me.

I don't wanna disturb him when he's asleep.

He's an old man, for God's sake.

Stella! What the f*ck are you doing? We don't have to hide, baby.

I did it.

- I told Ro.

- You told her about us? No.

I told her I didn't wanna be with her anymore, and I left! Now I can devote myself to you completely.

Now there can be no more fear.

No more guilt.

- Just sex.

- Yeah.

You know what I want.

And you want it all, don't you? Oh, yeah.

You need me, slut.

I need it all, baby! Oh, sh*t! Tonight's my night.

I gotta bring food over to Bobby Bacala's.

You're on ziti patrol, too? - Ro's got Thursdays.

- Well, what should I do? You could do me a solid, Tony.

Next time you see Hesh remind him my granddaughter's Bat Mitzvah present doesn't really work.

The bubble jet printer.

I don't like to keep hocking him.

He knows about it.

He said he lost the sales slip.

So, Marty, where is this guy? There he is.

What'd I say? Right on cue.


- Where, behind the preppy guy? - That's him.

Chief, I'd like to introduce you to my friends, Silvio Dante Tony Soprano.

The guy I was telling you about.

Chief Doug Smith.

Tribal chairman of the Mohonk Indians and CEO of Mohonk Enterprises.

- An honor.

- Thanks for coming all the way down here.

- I had business in Manhattan anyway.

- Not again.

Would you bring the gentleman a Ketel One, please? So, Chief, he told you about the sh*t going down in Newark? Small element.

Ruins it for the rest of us.

I've got a $250 million casino and a huge Italian-American customer base.

Providence, east Boston.

Good people.

Our part of the world.

We're closer than Atlantic City.

This is a brand new facility, state-of-the-art.

This f*cking protest.

They're burning Columbus in effigy down there.

- They'll lay down in front of the parade.

- That's not gonna happen.

People like Redclay, they're out of touch, in their ivory towers.

They don't understand the economic opportunity that funds much of the Native American community.

You should see the Olympic-size swimming pool this man put in the Deerpark reservation rec center.

Well, we all got kids.

We don't want to see our heritage att*cked, that's all.

No offense, Chief, but you don't look much like an Indian.

Frankly, I passed most of my life as white until I had a racial awakening and discovered my Mohonk blood.

My grandmother on my father's side, her mother was a quarter Mohonk.

All this happened when the casino bill got passed, right? - Better late than never.

- Mohonk if you love Columbus.

Sorry I didn't make it last night.

My Bible group had a potluck for the homeless and I was on cleanup crew.

Food, food.

Like that solves all the world's problems.

Bobby, we've been neighbors.

I know that we don't talk much but if you want to, I'm here for you.

What is it? That day when she had the accident I was stuck in traffic.

And my son called because Karen wanted me to pick up steaks and eggplants.

And I was mad at her for sending me.

I was tired.

I was mad at her.

But I was stuck in traffic because of her accident.

She was up the road ahead of me, lying in twisted metal.

But I didn't know, and I could've been with her.

I should've been there to help her.

But I was mad at her.

My sweet Karen.

My sweet girl.

Pass me the peppers.



Just a second.

Ton', it's the Indian Chief.

Doug, how are you? Tony, I wish I had better news.

I struck out.

Redclay didn't go for it.

Ask him about the Iron Eyes Cody thing.

The guy pretended he didn't know me.

You believe the son of a bitch? Ask him about Cody.

You ask him about Iron Eyes Cody? He didn't give a sh*t.

It was some internet rumor.

Most Native Americans don't give a flying f*ck.

It's like knowing James Caan isn't Italian.

Al right, wel it was nice meeting you, and I appreciate the effort.

You gotta let me make it up to you.

Come on up, spend a day.

Sil, whoever you want.

High rollers room, everything comped.

- Sure, that sounds good.

- Great.

What the f*ck did he say about Iron Eyes Cody? He said Ralphie had it all f*cked up.

And it don't mean nothing anyway, 'cause it's like knowing James Caan isn't Italian.

We think this guy, Redclay, is f*cking a graduate student.

- We hire a detective - I think it's over, Sil.

- Yeah, but all we gotta - It's over.

He had just lost his wife.

And he had so much sadness.

So much love for her, such complete and pure emotion.

I felt unworthy to even be in his presence.

I was so moved by him.

And then I look at Ralphie.

You saw, in this man, the things that you want in your life.


- Love.

- Yes.

Somehow, I have to find a way to move away from the darkness and toward the light.

What does this man do? He works with my brother, but he's not like the others.

- Janice - Sandy, he's different.

Believe me.


But back to Ralph.

You've got to sit him down and level with him.

Speak the truth, Jan but with the compassion and respect that you're famous for.

And say goodbye for his sake, as well as yours.

You're right.

It's not his fault.

Roll me some numbers, fearless leader.

- Coming at you.

- Yeah, I'm ready, six.

It's all right.

You had a great run, T.

You held the dice for quite a while.

Look at this operation.

Whenever I'm in one of these places I remember that my grandmother was part Fugawe.

Maybe I should do something about it.

- Bullshit.

- No, it's true.

She was.

They were a nomadic tribe, they'd wander around, get lost and they go, "Where the Fugawe?" I see you gentlemen are having a good time.

You getting enough to eat? Yeah.

Running out of my comps here.

Go find Marty.

He's on the floor somewhere.

Tony, can we talk a minute? Buy you a drink? Yeah, sure.

I wanted to give you a check for Jason's tuition.


- The statement's up in my bedroom.

- That's okay, I trust you.

Wait is it 5:00? John, l'm here at Christopher Columbus Park in Newark where this afternoon v*olence broke out briefly between Native American demonstrators and members of a coalition of 18 various ltalian-American pride organizations.

Get out of here! This is our day! You hear that? He fed our people to his dogs! My God, this is tragic.

Could be scored with Albinoni's Adagio.

Janootski! This is it, hon.

This is the last of the stuff I had at Ro's.

Your shoes.

What? Didn't I ask you to take your shoes off when you came in this house? Forgot.

- Sorry, hon.

- You forgot.

So that's just it.

You f*cking forgot! Oh, f*ck.

Get out! My back.

I'll k*ll you, you crazy bitch.

I'll k*ll you, you bitch.

You crazy c**t! Get out! It's gotta be on here somewhere.

scuffle at the Columbus Day parade in Newark.

Among those arrested for blocking a fire lane was Native American activist Del Redclay who caled the protest an unqualified success.

Elsewhere, a blind river rafter is going to get her wish after suing for a place in the Colorado River I should've been there.

I would've been f*cking there.

I forgot this was a Monday.

- Maybe we ought to just whack this prick.

- Who the f*ck are you kidding? All you thought about was blackjack.

What? You think this day in the country was free, don't you? Well, it wasn't.

f*cking Chief Smith wants Frankie Valli to come up there and play a week.

That's what this whole f*cking junket was about.

- Frankie? - Yeah, that's right.

That's why he buttonholed me, g*dd*mn it.

There's bad blood with Frankie's manager.

So the Chief wants me to call him as payback for him reaching out to Redclay.

Well, you're gonna make the f*cking call.

- I ain't seen Frankie for years - Tough sh*t! You're making the f*cking call! You and this f*cking parade, already.

I don't know what you're so hot about.

They discriminate against all Italians as a group when they disallow Columbus Will you f*cking stop? "Group"! What the f*ck happened to Gary Cooper? That's what I'd like to know.

He d*ed.

You mean, 'cause he fought the Sioux in all those westerns? f*ck that.

Gary Cooper.

Now there was an American.

The strong, silent type.

He did what he had to do.

He faced down the Miller g*ng when none of those other assholes would lift a finger to help him.

And did he complain? Did he say, "I come from this poor Texas-Irish "illiterate background or whatever, so leave me the f*ck out of it "because my people got f*cked over"? T, not for nothing but you're getting a little confused here.

That was the movies.

What difference does that make? Columbus was so long ago, he might as well have been a f*cking movie.

Images, you said.

The point is, Gary Cooper the real Gary Cooper or anybody named Cooper, never suffered like the Italians.

A madigan like him, they f*cked everybody else.

The Italians, the Polacks, the Blacks.

All right, even if he was a madigan around nowadays he'd be a member of some victims' group.

The fundamentalist Christians, the abused cowboys, the gays, whatever.

- He was gay, Gary Cooper? - No! Are you listening to me? Hey, people suffered.

Did you? Except for maybe the feds.

My grandparents got spit on because they were from Calabria.

Let me ask you a question.

All the good things you got in your life did they come to you 'cause you're Calabrese? I'll tell you the answer.

The answer is no.

You got a smart kid at Lackawanna College.

You got a wife who's a piece of ass.

At least she was when you married her.

You own one of the most profitable topless bars in North Jersey.

Did you get all this 'cause you're Italian? No, you got it 'cause you're you, 'cause you're smart, 'cause you're whatever.

Where the f*ck is our self-esteem? That sh*t doesn't come from Columbus, or The Godfather, or Chef f*cking Boyardee.

We gotta tiptoe around the Indians though, don't we? We can't call our teams the Braves or the Tomahawks or the You take it up with Frankie Valli when you talk to him.
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