03x21 - A Secret Letter and a Lowly Disc of Processed Meat

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Maybe it's time to take a break from your college classes.

What?

Why?

I've gotten straight As.

I know you're smart enough for college.

I'm just not sure you're mature enough.

I hope you know you're jeopardizing our relationship.

I will take that risk.

You know I'll eventually wear you down.

We'll see.

I'm pretty tough.

After everything that I've done for you and your family.

You give my grandson a job, so I'm supposed to marry you?

Well, you can forget I even asked.

Oh, no.

You're fired.

R-Really?

Get out of my store.

Now.

Adult Sheldon: In every young man's life, there are milestones along the road to independence.

Squashing one's very first bug.

Aah!

Tending to one's own boo-boo.

Not today, germs.

Not today.

[Groaning]

And preparing a favorite meal without one's mommy.

[Grunts]

Can you open this?

I'm making spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it.

You know there's a lady that does that for us, right?

Yes, but she's not here right now.

That's why I'm watching Oprah.

I would like to introduce each of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Leonardo...

Adult Sheldon: I was not alone in asserting my independence that day.

[Chariots of Fire theme playing]

This tiny slice of hot dog also seemed to yearn for freedom.

But sometimes...

freedom comes at a cost.

In this case, a lowly disc of processed meat...

...would nearly tear my family apart.

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ Ugh.

Where the heck did it go?

[TV playing in background]

Do we have another flashlight?

A slice of hot dog rolled under the refrigerator.

There's a flashlight in Mom's nightstand.

Totally, dude.

Totally.

Missy: Find the flashlight?

Yes.

I also found this letter from Caltech.

I wonder why she was hiding it.

So read it.

I'm not allowed to.

It's not addressed to me.

Who cares?

The U.S.

Postal Service is a government agency.

Mail is protected by federal law.

I'll read it.

Don't.

If you do, I'll be an accessory to the crime.

Interesting.

What does it say?

No, don't tell me.

Okay, tell me.

No, don't!

Sheldon, if I tell you but you never look at it, then you didn't break the law, right?

[Phone ringing]

Law offices of Morris, Morris & Yorn.

Janice speaking.

Hello.

I'd like to speak to either Morris, Morris or Yorn.

May I ask what it is in regard to?

Well, I was slicing a hot dog...

What's up?

I was wondering if you could talk to Dale for me.

Why?

Wait a minute.

He fired you?

Yeah.

After you gave him the money back?

He didn't tell you?

We haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately.

Oh.

I didn't know.

But we're about to be on yelling terms.

This is exciting.

So if I don't actually look at the letter, legally I'm in the clear?

Thank you.

This has been very helpful.

And if in the future, you have any physics questions, Janice has my info.

Pizza time!

Missy, you can legally tell me what's in the letter.

See...

here's where it gets fun.

Come on!

[Phone ringing]

Ballard's.

What's wrong with you?!

I'm sorry.

Who is this?

You know, you can be mad at me all you want, but don't take it out on my grandson.

Well, he let the store get robbed.

And he paid you the money back.

Like he should've.

You know, I was actually starting to feel bad for you, and now I don't.

Yeah.

Well, thanks for calling.

[Dial tone]

[Groans]

Say cheese.

Cheese.

[Camera shutter clicks]

Now tell me what was in that letter.

You're pretty cranky for a princess rodeo clown.

Missy!

Caltech wants you to go to school there.

Really?

They want to talk to Mom and Dad about it.

I can't believe she would hide that from me.

Whatever.

Put your nose back on.

[Camera shutter clicks]

I'm home.

Would you care to explain this letter, which I didn't read but legally know the contents of?

Well?

What were you doing, going through my nightstand?

You answer my question first.

I am your mother, and I don't need to answer anything.

How could you not tell me that Caltech wants me to go to school there?

Because you're not going, so it doesn't matter.

So I don't get a say in this?

Actually, no, which is why that letter is addressed to the parents of Sheldon Cooper.

So Dad was okay hiding this from me?

[Sighs]

We are done having this discussion.

Go to your room.

Ugh!

Hey, what time does Fotomat close?

Adult Sheldon: I was angry at my mother and needed more information.

While she told me to go to my room, she didn't say stay there.

Boy howdy, I do love a loophole.

All right, who's hotter...

Cindy Crawford or Jessica Rabbit?

One's a person, one's a cartoon.

And you couldn't get either one of 'em.

Now answer the question.

Dad.

What the hell are you doing here?

I need to talk to you.

How'd you even find me?

It's not like you come home smelling like coffee.

What do you want, Sheldon?

I want to know why no one told me about this recruitment letter from Caltech.

Let me see that.

All right, let's get me drunk.

Hi, Mr.

Givens.

Aw, come on!

Hey.

What are you doing with him?

I thought you were in your room.

Oh, don't worry.

I was.

I need to talk to your mother.

Go back to your room.

All right.

And this time, stay there.

Sheldon: Aw.

You want to tell me about this?

It came a couple of weeks ago, and since there's no way he's going to California, I didn't see the point in him knowing about it.

And when were you gonna tell me?

What difference does it make?

This says to the "parents" of Sheldon Cooper.

Last I checked, that was me, too.

You are making a big deal out of nothing.

This could be a huge opportunity for him.

I should at least be told about it.

Okay, now you know.

You think you get to make these decisions all by yourself?

In this case, yeah.

Well, you don't.

He's not just your son.

He's my son, too.

He didn't feel like your son when he had chicken pox, or every morning when I have to make his lunch.

Well, he felt like my son when I took him to Caltech, where he clearly impressed a lot of people.

So you just want to ship our baby boy off to California to live by himself?

I want to be included in decisions about his future.

If that means California, maybe I'll go with him.

He is not going anywhere.

You can go as far away as you want.

[Insects trilling, dog barking]

This is weird.

I think it's nice.

We don't usually get to chat, just us.

Yeah, I guess.

How are things in school?

Fine.

Still having fun at baseball?

Mm-hmm.

So, any boys you like?

Hey.

Thank God.

Mary: Where have you been?

Trying to find a job, but no one's hiring.

I'm sorry.

Grab a plate and sit with us.

I ain't hungry.

So, where were we?

Oh.

Boys.

Georgie, come back.

I should've shown you the letter.

Yeah, you should have.

I was going to eventually.

Sure you were.

You should know...

Caltech wasn't the only school that sent one.

Are you kidding me?!

Well, one was in New Jersey and one was all the way in Germany.

Well, who says he can't go to school in New Jersey?!

I don't know.

Maybe we'll all move to New Jersey.

We're not moving to New Jersey, George.

Well, I guess Mary has spoken.

Don't start in with that.

Oh, yes, Your Majesty.

You know this is your fault.

You're the one who read the letter.

You went in her nightstand.

I was only looking for a flashlight.

It's not my fault Mom was hiding things there.

They're fighting 'cause you're a freak.

That's your fault.

You know I'm right.

George Sr.: This isn't about what's best for Sheldon, this is about what's best for you.

Where are you going?

[Knocking]

To sleep on the couch.

[Crying]

Oh...

baby, come here.

I want Dad.

Come on, let's get you back in bed.

[Exhales]

How did these schools even hear about me?

Well, if it's anything like sports, there's always recruiters looking for talent.

I really enjoyed visiting Caltech, but Princeton's an interesting choice.

Albert Einstein taught there.

Buddy, it's nice all these schools are interested, but...

California and New Jersey are really far away.

Now you don't want me to go to college either?

I didn't say that.

I'm just saying, given how young you are, we need to be realistic.

I'll have you know I recently took care of my own boo-boo.

And as grown-up as that makes you sound, I don't think it's gonna convince your mother.

What will convince her?

I don't know, but I'm sure between the two of us, we can come up with a plan.

Well, you managed to get her to marry you, so you do have a track record.

♪ ♪ George Sr: Okay, the "X" is you.

College is the goal.

What stands between you and the goal line?

Mom.

Exactly.

She's a tough opponent, so we got to be smart about how we get around her.

Which won't be easy, because she's got Jesus on her team.

Boy howdy.

Brenda: Oh, my God.

You smoke?

What?

No.

Then your face is on fire.

[Sighs]

It's just the one.

I'm going through a rough patch.

What happened?

The bookmark fall out of your Bible, and you lost your place?

No.

You run out of room on your fridge for Sheldon's perfect report cards?

♪ ♪ Oh.

[Crying quietly]

Oh, hey, um...

I was just kidding around.

I know.

[Sighs]

Why don't you come over here?

Really?

And bring the pack.

We'll go in the chicken coop, where God can't see us.

So, we agree that the only way this is gonna happen right now is if you stay local.

I can always go away for grad school someday.

And truth be told, I don't have the emotional maturity to squish my own bugs.

Anyway, that leaves us with the big question: how do we get your mom on board with you going where Sturgis teaches?

Well, how did you get her to agree to marry you?

Oh, that won't work.

She doesn't drink anymore.

♪ I changed the lock ♪ ♪ On my front door...

♪ So, George is mad at me, and Sheldon is mad at me, and...

honestly, I'm mad at me, too.

Will you please give yourself a break?

All that you do for that family...

[Chuckles]

I am surprised you didn't cr*ck years ago.

How do you handle it all?

I'm sitting in a chicken coop drinking a wine cooler at 11:00 a.m....

clearly, I don't.

♪ Can't call me up at home ♪ Shelly and this college stuff is k*lling me.

I...

I never went to college.

How can I prepare him?

Mary, if that kid is smart enough to have colleges wanting him already, he's got to be smart enough to figure it out.

Maybe.

♪ I changed the kind of car I drive...

♪ It still hurts to hear him say he wants to leave.

I bet.

On the other hand, I'm worried my Billy will never be ready to leave.

Oh, of course he will.

Damn.

Smoking, drinking, lying.

You're covering all the sins today.

[Chuckling]

Mm.

This is terrible.

You ready?

Yes.

Okay, we're rolling.

Hello, Mother.

I'd like to present my case as to why I should be allowed to go to East Texas Tech next year.

And I'll keep it simple so you don't get confused.

Stop.

Something in my teeth?

Mary: I brought you a snack.

Thanks.

[Sighs]

So, I don't know if you heard me and your father having a disagreement last night...

A "disagreement"?

Fine.

A spat.

Okay, a fight.

I just want you to know that you do not need to worry.

It's kind of hard not to.

[Sighs]

Uh, sometimes moms and dads have fights, but it doesn't mean that they don't work things out.

Did you work it out?

[Door opens]

Sheldon: We're home.

Eat your cookies.

[Sighs]

Why are you so late?

Sheldon?

I've put together a presentation detailing the reasons why I should be allowed to go to college, and I'd like you to watch it with an open mind.

I can do that.

Excellent.

Is Meemaw here?

I smell cigarettes.

Thank you for this opportunity to plead my case.

And I'd like to thank my cameraman and driver, Dad.

What, I'm not even, like, assistant director?

No.

Sit back, enjoy.

[Sighs]

Hello.

I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is Why Sheldon Cooper Should Go to College.

I realize attending college in another state or country is unrealistic at this time.

Which is why I'm proposing that I live at home but enroll full-time to continue my studies with Dr.

Sturgis at East Texas Tech.

I firmly believe that I'm ready for this next step in my academic life.

But don't just take it from me...

He's ready.

In the fall, now, just let him go.

Please.

I don't think I have anything left to teach Sheldon.

I'm pretty sure he's already smarter than me.

It's true.

Honestly...

teaching Sheldon is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

And I don't say that because he can be a pain.

I say that because he's so intelligent, I had to study every night just to keep up.

I'm gonna miss him.

♪ ♪ A student like Sheldon comes along...

once in a lifetime.

This school is not gonna be the same without him.

But I know he's gonna do great things.

And I'm honored to have been a small part of it.

I'll chip in for gas money.

I'll move him into his dorm.

What-Whatever you need.

Let's make it happen.

Hi, Mary.

I know this must be a hard decision for you.

I can't tell you how to parent your child.

I don't have children.

But...

I can tell you...

that in all my years in academia, I've never seen a mind like Sheldon's.

He's truly extraordinary.

And if you let him come here, I promise we'll take good care of him.

♪ ♪ Sheldon Cooper, ready for college, ready to change the world.

George Sr.: Cut.

If that doesn't convince her, I don't know what her problem is.

Well?

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Why don't you let me and your mom talk.

All right.

Well?

[Takes deep breath]

♪ ♪ I guess our baby's going to college.

[Sighs]: Oh.

♪ ♪ Whew.

That was driving me crazy.

[Chariots of Fire theme playing]

Thank you for getting me into college.

You ready for this?

Let's go.

["Chicken Dance" playing]

After you.

[Chuckles]: Ooh.

Why, thank you.

Oh, dang!

Nice!

It ain't my first egging.

Whoo!

Good one!

Ain't mine, neither.

[Laughing]

Here's for f*ring my grandson...

jackass!