01x03 - We're Being Punked, Pedro

Previously on Legacies...

My name is Hope Mikaelson.

I'm a hybrid of three different creatures. Tri-brid.

We are a school for the supernatural.

- [CRIES OUT]
- LIZZIE: Welcome to the Salvatore School.

- I'm Josie.
- I'm Lizzie. Sisters.

Lizzie's nemesis Dana liking you.

That's the puzzle piece you needto crack Lizzie's candy shell.

I'll forgive you if you promise

- not to keep secrets.
- I promise.

HOPE: Landon was insidethe walls of this school because of me.

He had access to the knife he stole because of me.

DORIAN: She's a dragon.

To take down a dragon, all you need is a buttload of courage

- and a sword.
- [CHANTING]

ALARIC: This is a death spell.
We don't allow black magic.

It gets inside your heart and it poisons your mind.

- HOPE: Where are they?
- ALARIC: They're gone.

LANDON: I lied to protect myself, but in doing so, I hurt you.

For that, I will be forever sorry.

ALARIC: You know, I opened this school to protect these kids.

How am I supposed to protect them from stuff that's not supposed to exist?

♪ ♪

[WINGS FLAPPING]

- [GROANING]
- [GROWLING]

[SHRIEKING]

Ignarious. Ignarious!

[ROARING]

Gaulish.

Why does it always have to be Gaulish?

[RUSTLING]

[LOW GROWLING]

[QUACKING]

DORIAN: All right, gather together.

Chain spells are about the fluid movement of energy from witch to witch.

Where's Penelope Park?

Um, lady cramps, Mr. Williams.

Sorry I asked.

A disharmonious group makes for an uneven flow.

[STIFLED LAUGHTER]

Okay...

JOSIE: Uh-oh, who's in trouble with the headmaster?

Probably the people who started a rumble with the local high school.

"Lizzie Saltzman, Josie Saltzman."

And baby makes three.

Off you go.

LIZZIE: This makes no sense, Dad.

Why are we being punished?

Because you started a brawl at a charity football game that risked exposing what we really do here.

LIZZIE: Well, you weren't mad last night.

I was mad last night.

My undying love for my daughters just happened to trump my rage.

I volunteered everyone in the game, so stop complaining.

You're lucky that it's just community service and not actual jail time.

Can I at least offer a rebuttal in my defense, if it pleases the court?

First of all, I was provoked.

My response was totally proportional considering the levels of abuse that I was forced to endure.

And secondly... if anyone should take the blame, it's Josie.

- What?
- I'm sorry.

I totally cracked under cross, but if you had just let Kaleb catch the ball...

You'd still be in trouble.

But nice job throwing your sister under the bus.

JOSIE: Thank you, Hope.

ALARIC: Speaking of, the bus leaves in ten minutes, and I expect all three of you to be on it, working together today, harmoniously and without drama.

End of debate. I wasn't even at the game.

Why am I being punished?

You know what you did.

All right, now, go, all of you.

Come on.

[SIGHS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Seriously?

What part of what I said needs translating?

I want to help you with research.

Dorian has a master's degree in library science.

- I think the adults have it covered.
- That's not fair.

You only play by the grown-up rules when you don't need something from me.

I am spinning right now, Hope.

And I can't drag you or anyone else any further into this until I figure out what's going on, okay?

So right now, I need you to be a kid keeping a dragon-sized secret today until I get some answers.

Understood?

♪ Baby, I'm a loser, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

LIZZIE: So, what did you do?

My dad never gets mad at you.

You're the prodigal daughter.

Must have been juicy.

Sorry, no time for girl talk. Public service awaits.

All right, listen up.

It's a beautiful day. You got options: Litter, weeds, graffiti.

Your choice.

♪ Ain't got much time till I blow ♪

♪ I'm a loser, baby, just like you ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪

It's bad enough we get punished while the humans get a pass, but there ain't no way in hell I'm picking up their garbage.

Uh, I don't do trash either.

I love trash, as of this moment.

Perf. It suits you.

♪ Maybe I'm riding my brain... ♪

Looks like we're scrubbing paint today.

Dad told us to work together, okay, harmoniously.

Yeah, and he also said without drama, and I am feeling a rage attack coming on, so I will be remaining drama-free over by that wall of graffiti.

- Are you coming or not?
- I don't know, Lizzie, is there another bus you want to throw me under?

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Just like you... ♪

Fine, Daddy's girls.

♪ Baby, I'm a loser... ♪

Anyone else?

♪ Just like you, just like you... ♪

Get the lead out, MG.

♪ I think the world's gone insane ♪

♪ We're singing, baby, I'm a loser ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Just like you. ♪

Uh, I think it's done.

Oh...

Next time, we got to catch, like, a deer or something.

You know, more meaty, less...

- rabbity.
- [LAUGHS]

It's food, man. I'm good.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Nowhere else I'd rather be, bro.

I don't know.

That school was good for you.

Lan, you run, I run, period.

[BOTH GROANING]

She hates me, doesn't she?

Hope? Probably.

You want to explain why you kept lying to her?

- Why you lied to me.
- That's the problem.

I can't.

Every time I try to put it into words, all I can say is it's like the knife wanted me to steal it.

And then it wanted me to lie.

Knives don't have conscious thoughts, brother.

I know, but knives don't usually attract dragons either.

Um, well, what's done is done.

It's not like you're ever gonna see her again anyway.

Hey, hey... it's just the two of us.

Living off the land.

Nothing better.

A burger.

A burger would be better.

A burger would be better.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Hey, I got an idea... to make some money.

Put your new werewolf skills to work.

You in?

Come on, MG, any slower and you'd be going in reverse.

Look, I'm doing the best I can without vamping in public.

- That's plain pitiful, bruh.
- Well, at least he's trying.

I don't see you pitching in.

'Cause this whole thing's wack.

What, we get punished for wanting to win a game fair and square?

It wasn't fair.

We're supernatural, they're human.

And LeBron's maybe the best player ever.

Should he quit scoring?

'Cause no one on the court can check him.

We're faster, we're stronger.

We're better.

And we ain't got nothing to apologize for.

Nothing.

[LAUGHTER]

- Hypothetical question.
- Great.

How bad would it suck if whoever did this graffiti just came back tonight and put it right back up again?
- Well, whoever it is, I hope he improves his spelling.

[STIFLED LAUGH]

Hey, MG.

Dana. What's good?

Uh, he's busy, Dana.

Um, he can speak for himself, Saltzman.

You know what, I was just getting ready to grab a break.

Mm.

- LIZZIE: MG...
- Oh!

[GASPS]

- That's my bad. My bad.
- Oh...

[GASPING]

Hey, Lizzie, you, uh...

Choose your next words very carefully, Pedro.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Now's not a good time.

When I was brought on, I was told that counseling was mandatory for everyone at school, by you.

I've got things to do.

I'm gonna have to, uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

rain check therapy.

Mm.

Is that the knife the dragon was chasing?

Dorian never misses his appointments.

Yes.

And if my translations are correct, whoever wields it has the power to save the world.

Or end all life as we know it.

It's hard to say. [CHUCKLES]

Fourth century Gaulish is tricky.

Well, in that case, stop cleaning it and destroy the damn thing.

Hmm.

Hydrochloric acid.

I've tried explosives, an acetylene torch, a circular saw.

I've even run over it with my truck.

And according to legend, it's indestructible.

And I'm starting to agree.

So in addition to father, teacher, mentor, you've also added linguist, slayer of mythical creatures,

and demolitions expert to your résumé.

- [CHUCKLES]
- That's a lot to take on, especially all by yourself.
- Emma.

- When I say I'm fine, I'm...
- LIZZIE: A jerk.

You are a total jerk.

What happened to you?

A Neanderthal from Mystic Falls High assaulted me with a milkshake.

This stupid girl Dana was being... You know what? I can't even talk about it.

But now Hope and Josie are all sisters in solidarity.

But as I was walking home, I did the work and I dug deep, and I realized that this is all his fault.

How is this my fault?

Because if you had just been at that game instead of running around with Hope, then everything would've gone differently.

And it is not fair that she gets to know secrets that your own daughters don't.

- She has a point.
- Not helping.

I am not going back there.

Okay, that's fine, um...

Why don't you go help the primary school students out in the garden.

At least now you know why I am so screwed up.

Aren't you supposed to help?

Consider this a life lesson, Pedro.

People disappoint.

[GARGOYLE CRACKING]

That statue just moved.

Good one.

I mean, I deserve to know what's happening just as much as Hope.

- I'm his freaking daughter.
- It's doing it again.

We're being punked, Pedro.

The sixth grade witches are learning illusion spells this semester.

It's... It's...

It's...

Let me guess, it's right behind me?

Lizzie.

[GROWLING]

- Pedro.
- [SCREECHING]

Run!

Get inside, Pedro!

I need you to give me your hand.

Now find my dad. Go.

[ROARING]

Imperium monstrum.

- ALARIC: Lizzie?
- [WHIMPERS]

Oh, my God, Lizzie.

Oh, what happened?

- What happened? Can you...?
- [WHIMPERS]

She isn't moving.
Why-why isn't she moving?

The statue hurt her.

[WHIMPERING]

ALARIC: Tell me what you know about gargoyles.

Did you say "gargoyles"?

Okay, uh, search Medieval French folklore.

Look for "The Legend of the Gargoyle Petrotho."

If I'm right, I think he's poisoned Lizzie with some sort of actual grayscale.

She's paralyzed. What if it spreads to her heart?

I'm on it.

You have a future in waste management.

Cleaning up messes is kind of my thing.

Well, your sister is kind of a dumpster fire.

Why do you always pick fights?

We've known each other a decade and any time you have the chance, you poke.

You guys do your fair share of poking.

Yeah, in retaliation to your pokes.

And with you spending so much time with my dad and keeping secrets...

We're not keeping secrets.

Oh, yeah? What happened when you went to go find Landon Kirby?

Nothing happened.

Something clearly did happen.

Rafael never showed up at school, my dad was rattled, so why won't you just tell me?

Because there's nothing to tell. Aah!

Oh, my God.

Aah!

Ow.

Are you okay? I mean, what do I do?

- Help me pull it out.
- What?

I can heal myself. Pull it out.

Ow!

You poked yourself.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Shut up.

GIRL: To the roof and back in seconds?

Or we double your money.

You're on. Ten bucks.

We got this. Yes.

...

...

♪ Corpse on the carpet ♪

♪ Dead man on the floor, come on, Lazarus ♪

♪ Come out of that door ♪

♪ Corpse on the carpet, dead man on the floor... ♪

He's not gonna make it.

♪ Come out of that door ♪

- [CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
- [TIMER CHIMES]

Whoo!

♪ Somewhere ♪

[WHOOPING]

♪ We all come from somewhere... ♪

What can I say?

My boy's on fire.

Triple or nothing.

Sir, we've already taken your money twice.

How about a hundred?

But I want him to do it in ten seconds.

♪ We all come from somewhere ♪

Start the clock.

♪ We all come from somewhere. ♪

We are on lockdown. No one goes outside. Period.

I want you all in your rooms.

Upper class, you're on the buddy system.

Lower class, I want you to go with Emma to the Grand Hall, okay?
Everyone, let's go.

You're coming with me.

- Okay.
- ALARIC: All right, take Lizzie with you and the kids. Keep an eye on that infection.

I'm gonna try and draw it away from the school.

How do you know it will follow you?

Because I think I have what it wants.

- [LIZZIE WHIMPERING]
- EMMA: Don't fret, we'll be fine.

♪ ♪

[RUSTLING]

- [GROWLING]
- [STRAINING]

[SHRIEKING]

- [GROANING]
- Everything okay?

Yeah, I just think that that's making me a little bit nauseous.

Huh.

Didn't see that coming.

JOSIE: It's simple math.

MG has the hormones of a teenager and the impulse control of a preschooler.

- [CHUCKLES]
- He also always goes for the wrong kinds of girls.

Given my last crush, I can't judge.

Well, my last crush was actually Satan incarnate.

That is, I guess, unless you count...

Who?

Never mind. It really doesn't matter anymore.

Lizzie has dibs.

Dibs?

On Rafael? She always calls dibs.

When's it gonna be your turn?

It just is what it is.

Right, well, that doesn't really make it right.

Your dad knows I used black magic.

That's why I'm in trouble.

Don't worry, I didn't tell him that you helped me with the spell.

Thank you.

And Landon and Rafael took off together.

Landon told me he didn't know why he stole the knife.

But then he lied about having it, so I don't know what to believe.

Then he wrote me this letter that was...

I don't know, sweet.

Lizzie's... sensitive.

Our mom is going on these really long recruitment missions recently.

That's why she's extra testy.

She just really misses her.

I know the feeling.

I remember how your mom used to come by the school.

We all used to say how beautiful she was.

She was.

We really should have sent you flowers or something.

[CHUCKLES]: You did.

Your dad signed your names.

It was obvious.

Okay. We definitely deserve a little bit of poking.

[LAUGHS]

I wonder where the boys are right now.

There's this spell that my Aunt Freya taught me.

It's kind of like a full-immersion video chat.

Okay, but don't we need something of Landon's to...

Is that the letter?

You can't tell your dad.

They don't teach this at school.

This is the kind of secret that I can get behind.

[LAUGHING]: Well, this is more like it.

Get used to it.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh...

Everything cool?

Yeah. It's all good.

[QUIETLY]: Hope?

We should get out of here.

[GASPS]

- Why'd you stop?
- This is twin pain.

Something's wrong. I think Lizzie's in trouble.

[GROWLS]

[SCREECHES]

Imperium monstrum!

[ROARS]

DORIAN: I'm sorry, I can't let you leave.

No, I need to go home to see my sister.

Your dad's with your sister.
And I'm under strict orders to keep you here.
- What? Why?

And why are you researching that?

[SIGHS]

This is tight.

You're hot. Like, mad hot.

Hotter than Lizzie?

Uh... uh...

Tell me the truth.

Are you actually feeling me?

You're a good guy.

Pretty cute. Great hair.

But I'm secretly in love with my best friend Sasha's boyfriend, Connor.

Well, why are we doing this, then?

To make Connor jealous.

Which, let's be honest, is totally what you're doing with Lizzie Saltzman.

[STAMMERS]

So rather than make out with you, like any other guy would, I had to ask the honorable yet supremely stupid question, and now, if I keep going, I'm taking advantage of you.

And my mama didn't raise me like that.

Forget we made out.

But also remember I'm a really cool dude, with super dope football skills, and I crush it all day, every day.

Go.

Come on, Raf. Let's go.

Why? [CHUCKLES]

Yo, this is a perfectly good spot, bro.

We should keep moving.

Mm. Nah.

No, no, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's up.

[WHOOSHING]

Lan. Lan.

[WHOOSHING]

[GROWLS]

[SCREECHING IN DISTANCE]

EMMA [WHISPERING]: It's in the hallway.

[WHIMPERS]

EMMA [WHISPERS]: Everyone, stay very quiet.

Nullum visilaris.

[GROWLS]

[CRUNCHES]

[GROWLS]

[EMMA PANTING]

[SNARLS]

[GASPING]

[GRUNTING]

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

Raf?

Lan.

You okay?

I don't think either of us are.

Better off than him.

[FOOTSTEPS NEARBY]

JEREMY: Relax.

Both of you.

I am not here to hurt you.

Who are you?

Your new best friend.

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES] Unbelievable.

I told you to go, not make out with some other dude.

Kaleb. What are you doing?

What's it look like?

Eating.

[CHUCKLING]: Oh, my bad.
Where's my manners?

- We're not supposed to...
- Supposed to what?

Supposed to be following Lizzie around, like she zapped our asses with some level-ten sad puppy spell, right?

Come on. Do your thing.

I said I'm good.

That's a nasty hickey you got.

Go home, find a scarf and forget all about today.

[CLICKS TONGUE]


Laters, cutie.

Look, we homies, right?

And I ain't hurting anybody.

So, secret's ours?

Uh, yeah, man.

Yeah, sure.

Vamps before tramps. [SNICKERS]

Lizzie?

I'll check the library.

- ALARIC: What are you doing here?
- Oh, my God.

- You scared me.
- Dorian was supposed to keep you away.

He tried. He lost. But here.

Killing Gargoyles . He thought you could translate it.

Gaulish. Son of a...

So are we are on our own, or did the Gauls provide clear instruction?

In a nutshell, it says hit it hard, repeat as needed.

[GARGOYLE ROARS]

Is that...?

Yeah.

Listen, it poisoned Lizzie.

I'm guessing, to get my attention.

Then it attacked me and took the knife.

The knife? The dragon knife?

And you're still breathing?

- Oh, I have a theory about that.
- Well, save it, because we had to take down that containment spell to get inside the school, meaning our monster can get out.

A containment spell?

Lizzie wanted to make sure whatever attacked her didn't escape into the world.

Good girl.

All right, well, guess we better find it...

[GRUNTS] ...before it makes the evening news.

So how'd you take the containment spell down?

JOSIE: She didn't.

I did.

And I have questions.

Who is that?

A werewolf hunter.

Is that really a thing?

You're new to this.

You probably think that being supernatural gives you the upper hand.

It doesn't. This world is a scary place for someone like you, especially when you're dumb enough to use your powers in public.

So, what, you go around saving new werewolves or what?

The name's Jeremy.

I've known Alaric since I was a kid, and now I work for him sometimes.

He told me to track you and make sure that you stay out of trouble, which, apparently, you suck at.

And that note?

That was supposed to scare you to safety.

Note?

I'm gonna go grab the shovels.

Once we bury the body, I'll bring you both back to school.

What happened to "no more lies"?

You gave up a lot coming out here with me.

We were having fun today... The kind of fun you haven't let yourself have since Cassie died.

When I saw the note and knew it was all gonna go to hell, I just...

I just froze. I'm...

I'm sorry, Rafael.

I'm sorry.

You should go with him.

Honestly, you're probably better off without me anyway.

[SIGHS]

I never thanked you for that.

After Cassie... you were there.

Like, all in.

It might not have seemed like I appreciated it.

I did.

So let's do what we got to do here.

Then let's go back to school.

They don't want me there.

I am not going without you.

[SIGHS]

All in.

All in.

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Ay, ya ♪

♪ Can you feel the beating of the drum? ♪

- ♪ Mm-hmm ♪
- ♪ Can you hear it ♪

- ♪ Louder than a gun? ♪
- ♪ Ay, ya ♪

♪ Can you see us
tearing down the wall? ♪

- ♪ Mm-hmm ♪
- ♪ Can't deny us ♪

- ♪ When you see it fall ♪
- ♪ I'm coming ♪

♪ Over mountain, over seas ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

♪ Let it echo, set it free... ♪

Emma?

Emma.

[MUFFLED WHIMPERING]

♪ Raging thunder ♪

♪ Ay, ya. ♪

[GROWLING]

[ROARS]

[ROARS, GROWLS]

[GASPS]

- No!
- Dad!

- No!
- [SNARLS]

[LOW GROWLING]

- [GRUNTS]
- [SHRIEKS]

[GRUNTS]

Fluctus inpulsa.

Josie, help me.

- How?
- Just repeat after me.

Fluctus inpulsa.

BOTH: Fluctus inpulsa. Fluctus inpulsa.

Fluctus inpulsa. Fluctus inpulsa.

Fluctus inpulsa.

- Fluctus inpulsa!
- [SHRIEKS]

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Ay, ya. ♪

[SIGHS] Nice job.

How could you jump in front of her like that?

You could have died, Dad.

Honey, I knew it wouldn't kill me, because my research said so...

HOPE: How's Lizzie?

ALARIC: Recovering quickly, thanks to her sister.

HOPE: So, how did you know the gargoyle wouldn't kill you?

Gargoyles are protectors.

And folklore tells a tale of a gargoyle who once protected a small settlement in France whose villagers revered a powerful relic.

A knife.

Our knife?

As the story goes, the gargoyle loved the humans he protected so much, he vowed never to harm humanity.

Instead, he chose to fight evil on their behalf.

Me being the evil one in this scenario.

Josie, Lizzie...

In its mind, yes.

I realized when it didn't hurt me before...

[SIGHS] ...it saw me as the one who needed protection.

I'm not sure that knowing that will make them feel any better.

I should get back to the girls.

Wait.

One more thing.

You're always telling us that we need to work together.

To put our own feelings aside for the school, for the community.

I know I haven't always listened to you with that kind of stuff, but I'm starting to think that it's actually pretty good advice, so... maybe you should take it.

Because if you want me and the twins to get along, for them to be happy, for the school to be safe...

These secrets are gonna tear us all apart.

♪ There you are ♪

ALARIC: If you'd asked me a week ago...

♪ A miracle... ♪

I would have told you I knew the difference between myth and fact.

I would have said that supernaturals were limited to the species under this roof.

I would have said that folklore and fairy tales were just stories.

But I can no longer say that any of that's true.

'Cause just a few days ago, we were confronted by the existence of a dragon.

[GROUP MURMURING]

And then, today, our campus was terrorized by a gargoyle come to life.

- [SCATTERED MURMURS]
- Some of us... were forced to fight.

We won.

This time.

They were drawn here by a knife that went missing earlier this week.

And for whatever reason, these creatures consider us to be the enemy.

In their minds, we're the villainsbecause we won't give them what they want.

We don't even know why they want it.

But we're gonna find out.

You're really trying to kill me, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

More like you're one of the only people I can trust.

♪ Can I keep my hero on the ground? ♪

I'll call if I run into any problems.

Oh, and I want a raise.

With dental.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

ALARIC: I can't say for sure what their true intentions are.

I can't say there won't be more attacks.

That's why I'm telling you this.

To warn you.

To ask you to look out for each other.

Hey.

I had the kitchen make these.

Your favorite.

Brownies.

Thanks, MG.

♪ What do you want to lose? ♪

ALARIC: To do what's best for one another.

♪ I let you fly with the eagles... ♪

Because we're more than just a school.

♪ I don't want to lose this love ♪

We're a family.

♪ Who are you? ♪

- [LAUGHTER, INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- ♪ Oh, who are you? ♪

And we will stand together,

we will fight together,

and we will win or lose this battle together,

no matter what comes next.

♪ Does anybody ♪

♪ Does anybody know your name? ♪

♪ Who are you? ♪

♪ Does anybody ♪

♪ Does anybody know your name? ♪

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

["WOLF LIKE ME" BY TV ON THE RADIO PLAYING]

He said he'd be here soon.

"Soon" was an hour ago.

The Salvatore School isn't going to deface itself.

Call Connor and tell him to get his ass here with the spray paint.

[CHUCKLING]: And come off as needy? No, thanks.

You are needy, Sasha.

That's why our friendship works.

- ♪ Mirror my melody ♪
- [SIGHS]

- [PHONE CLICKS]
- ♪ Transfer my tragedy ♪

- [PHONE BEEPING]
- ♪ Got a curse I cannot lift ♪

I don't have any service.

♪ Shines when the sunset shifts ♪

♪ When the moon is round and full... ♪

Sorry. I'm on, like, two percent.

[SIGHS]

♪ We could jet in a stolen car ♪

♪ But I bet we wouldn't get too far ♪

♪ Before the transformation takes ♪

♪ And bloodlust tanks and crave gets slaked ♪

♪ My mind has changed my body's frame ♪

♪ But, God, I like it ♪

- [SASHA SCREAMS]
- ♪ My heart's... ♪

[TURNS OFF MUSIC]

Sasha, what are you doing?

Sasha, if you and Connor are boning in the woods, I'm gonna kill you.

[RUSTLING NEARBY]

♪ ♪

- [LOUD BANG]
- [GASPING, SCREAMING]

[CLATTERING ON TOP OF CAR]

- [SNARLING]
- [SCREAMS]