03x19 - Deeper and Deeper

Previously on “The Secret Life of The American Teenager”

AMY: If anyone should be getting married, it should be Ricky and me, not Adrian and Ben.

RICKY: This is my mother. This is Nora. Nora, George. George, Nora.

ADRIAN: How's six weeks from today?

BEN: For?

ADRIAN: Ben, for the wedding.

GEORGE: I think you're a really interesting woman. I don't think I've ever met anyone who's been to prison.

NORA: Oh, you probably have.

GEORGE: Maybe.

BEN: I asked Adrian to marry me, and she said yes, and we're getting married, and when and where are her decisions.

RICKY: Adrian wants our son to be ringbearer at this circus, and she wants Amy to be a bridesmaid.

MADISON: My dad's okay with your coming over as long as we're not doing what we were doing.

JACK: Would it be stupid if the two of us actually had s*x?

GRANT: I thought you wanted me to sleep over so we could have s*x.

GRACE: I don't wanna have s*x with any guy unless there's a chance we're gonna get married.

BEN: I think it would be better if we asked my dad to buy us a condo.

ADRIAN: A condo?

AMY: Ricky, will you marry me?

HIGH SCHOOL

Ricky wants to talks with Amy.

RICKY: You wanna bring John over tonight, or do you want me to pick him up? I'm fine picking him up, but you're welcome to come over, too. Whatever you want.

AMY: No. Whatever you want. I'm fine with whatever you want.

RICKY: All right. Then maybe you could drop him off, if you don't mind.

AMY: I don't mind.

RICKY: But it's not a date. I think I'll just spend some time with John tonight.

AMY: All right. See you later. But not for a date.

Amy leaves, Ben comes in.

BEN: Just, uh, tell her you're not gonna marry her. Yeah. You're not gonna marry her.

RICKY: I said, "We'll see." I'll think about it, but I'm not getting married while I'm in high school.

BEN: What about in June? You'll be graduating in June.

RICKY: No, not in June.

BEN: July? Oh, August. Admit it. You're one step away from being in the same boat I'm in.

RICKY: No, I'm not. Find a condo yet?

BEN: No, not yet.

RICKY: So the one you looked at last night didn't work out either?

BEN: No. No. These things take time, you know? We just started looking, we're on a limited budget, so I doubt we'll buy anything right away.

RICKY: Yeah, especially if you're not ready to leave home.

BEN: Who's not ready to leave home at 17, huh? It's every teenager's dream to get their own home at 17.

RICKY: Yeah, and a wife and a baby. You get your life over with in your teen years, and then there's just nothing else to do but kick back and watch every dream you ever had go straight to hell.

BEN: It's looking that way, but it'll all be fine. Yeah. That's what I keep saying to myself: "It'll all be fine." Yeah.

Amy speaks with her friends.

AMY: I guess I'd wanna wait until we both graduated from high school. Then again, he is graduating this year, and then I only have a year left of high school. So whatever. I'm not really in any hurry.

(Adrian passes)

ADRIAN: I heard you asked Ricky to marry you. Nice going, girlfriend. Good luck with that

nontraditional approach.

MADISON: Well, what was his answer, exactly?

LAUREN: He said he'd think about it.

AMY: No. He said, "We'll see." It's a totally different thing.

MADISON: Well, it's different, but it's not exactly a "yes."

AMY: It's not a "no." And coming from Ricky, I think it's a "yes." I mean, I didn't expect him

to say "yes" right away. He has to think about things, and he has to feel in control. And I'm definitely going to let him feel in control of his decision.

LAUREN: I gotta say, I'm impressed that you went out on a limb, Amy, and just asked for what you wanted. I think that's brave.

(Ashley passes)

ASHLEY: Either brave or completely foolish. Good morning.

AMY: Obviously she didn't approve.

MADISON: Well, uh, how long do you think it'll take Ricky to see that he's gonna marry you?

AMY: He needs time.

Ashley comes to see the counselor.

KATELYN: Oh. Good morning. Did I know you were coming by this morning?

ASHLEY: I don't know. Here's my work. See you next week.

KATELYN: Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. That's not how this works. We have to go over your assignments. Not even we. The school has a new teacher who's overseeing home schooling. Mr. Malkovich. Let me go get him for you.

ASHLEY: I wish you had told me. My dad's waiting outside. I don't really have time.

KATELYN: Yes. I'm sure you're very busy at home.

Katelyn goes out at her office.

KATELYN: Hi, Angel. Nadine, good morning. Jeff, what's up, man? Hey, uh, Ricky, I need to talk to you. When you have time.

Jack joins Ricky.

JACK: What's that about?

RICKY: I don't know. What does she do?

JACK: She's the counselor.

RICKY: No. I know she's the counselor. What does she do?

JACK: She counsels students on school and what classes to take, where to go to college. Stuff like that.

RICKY: Yeah, well, I'm not going to college.

JACK: Yeah, well, you already have a job and a family. That's totally understandable.

RICKY: I'm glad you think so.

Grace talks with Adrian.

GRACE: I don't wanna do it in my room 'cause it's so close to my mom and Jeff's, and they have no plans to go anywhere for months.

ADRIAN: Mm-hmm.

GRACE: There's always the guest house, but then I'd have to strike some sort of deal with Tom and Jack, and then they'd know about it. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right, you know? To do what we wanna do in Jack's bed.

(Grant joins them)

GRANT: Hi, Adrian.

ADRIAN: Hi.

GRANT: Would it be possible to talk to you alone, Grace?

GRACE: Yeah, sure. But anything you wanna say, you can say in front of Adrian. She's my best friend.

ADRIAN: Bye.

(Adrian leaves)

GRANT: My mom's going out of town with my dad tonight, so we have my house all to ourselves. We don't have to do anything. But if you wanna do something, we do have my house all to ourselves. And it's okay with my parents if you comover. It's even okay if you spend the night.

GRACE: Your house? Your bed? I don't really know if I feel comfortable with that.

GRANT: I've slept over at your house, in your bed.

GRACE: Yeah... But I don't know.

Ben joins Adrian.

BEN: Good morning. Hey, look, I'm sorry about last night. I guess I'm being just a little picky about the condo.

ADRIAN: I guess you are. But that's okay. We have more to look at tonight.

BEN: Really? Um, are you up for it? I mean, we've looked at places every night this week. Maybe you should get some rest.

ADRIAN: Are you kidding? Next to the baby, this is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my life. Bye, Benny.

(Adrian leaves)

BEN: Benny?

(Henry and Alice come in)

HENRY: Benny?

BEN: I'm really okay with that.

HENRY: Sure you are.

BEN: I am. I've accepted my fate.

ALICE: Except for the "moving out of your house" part.

BEN: Yeah, maybe not that.

THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER – OPEN CREDITS

HIGH SCHOOL

Ashley meets the new teacher for the homeschooling.

RICHARD: Ashley. Richard Malkovich. Nice to meet you. Let's see how you're doing.

ASHLEY: Yeah. Or I could just leave that stuff with you.

RICHARD: Ah. Antisocial. My favorite. You have any friends?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I have friends.

RICHARD: Who?

ASHLEY: Well, that's kind of personal information, isn't it? I mean, if I tell you, you might post it on the Internet.

RICHARD: Never mind. I already know. I talked to your father. He was right outside in the car. Katelyn told me, so I went out and introduced myself. Did you, uh, actually read Ulysses, or did you just read the study guide?

ASHLEY: Did you actually graduate from college in education, or did you just read the study guide?

RICHARD: You missed a few things.

ASHLEY: Maybe you missed a few things.

RICHARD: Probably. Do you speed read?

ASHLEY: No.

RICHARD: I learned to speed read when I was your age. Loved it. Very useful skill to have. Well, looks okay. But I'll take the weekend to, uh, delve into this a little more deeply, and look over your other work.

ASHLEY: Do that, because I spent a lot of time doing that work.

RICHARD: Tell me a little about yourself. I'd like to get you connected with some of the other kids doing home schooling.

ASHLEY: Well, about myself, I don't care to be connected with any of the other kids doing home schooling.

RICHARD: I'm connecting you. You need to be connected. You can't just hide over at your house without any social interaction with any other student on the planet.

ASHLEY: Why not?

RICHARD: Because that's what your dad said. And what he said goes. He also said that. And he said for me to tell you that, which I guess means that he couldn't tell you. Guess he's a little overwhelmed.

ASHLEY: Well, that's not my problem.

GEORGE'S CAR/ANNE'S HOUSE

George waits her daughter. He calls Anne.

GEORGE(at phone): I can't take it. I don't have another adult to talk to. Donovan calls from the store it's the highlight of my day. I need another adult to talk to, Anne.

ANNE(at phone): Been there, done that.

GEORGE(at phone): Yeah, but at least you had someone to talk to when I came home at night. Yeah, okay. I wasn't that adult. I gotta make some friends.

ANNE(at phone): You have friends. Why don't you call Ruben, do something with him?

GEORGE(at phone): 'Cause he's a big, important prosecutor, and I'm just a house man.

ANNE(at phone): That's ridiculous.

GEORGE(at phone): No, it's not. Do you have friends? Who do you talk to?

ANNE(at phone): Mostly Eugene.

GEORGE(at phone): Who's that?

ANNE(at phone): Mimsy's husband.

GEORGE(at phone): Oh.

ANNE(at phone): I really enjoy talking to him. He is so smart. I've learned so much about running the business from talking to him. I've run a business.

GEORGE(at phone): You can talk to me.

ANNE(at phone): Yeah, but I have adults to talk to.

GEORGE(at phone): So where's our son this morning?

ANNE(at phone): He's at daycare.

GEORGE(at phone): Why? You're home.

ANNE(at phone): I'm working. Or I'm trying to work. I have clients coming over.

GEORGE(at phone): I have to go.

GEORGE'S CAR

Ashley is back.

ASHLEY: I do not want a friend.

GEORGE: Well, you're gonna get a friend. So am I.

HIGH SCHOOL

Katelyn meets Ricky.

KATELYN: Oh. Ricky. Hi.

RICKY: I just went to your office, but some foreign guy was in there.

KATELYN: "Foreign"?

RICKY: Well, a guy who wasn't you.

KATELYN: Malkovich. He's overseeing home schooling students. We can kick him out. Come on. He can't still be talking to Ashley.

RICKY: What do you want? Why can't you just tell me what it is right here?

KATELYN: It's nothing bad. I just wanna make sure you get your college applications in. I saw that you hadn't applied anywhere.

RICKY; I know that I'm not gonna apply anywhere.

KATELYN: But you're graduating, and you have an extremely high grade point average, and your SATs were outstanding. If you aren't going to college, why did you take the SATs?

RICKY: Because there were girls there. Smart girls. I like smart girls. And these weren't just girls from this school. They were from all over. And that was before Amy and I started dating.

KATELYN: Whatever your purpose was, it doesn't matter. Well, it matters. But you're bright, and you aced your test, and you could get into college. Maybe even get financial assistance or a scholarship, so...

RICKY: So I'm not going. I'm gonna stay at the butcher shop and see where I get with that.

KATELYN: Don't you think studying business could get you somewhere with that?

RICKY: No.

KATELYN: Well, I would still encourage you to apply to a couple of schools just in case you change your mind

RICKY: I've never thought about going to college, so I'm not gonna change my mind. I have nothing to change my mind about. Amy wants to go to college. I'm gonna work and help her with John. She can be the one who goes to college.

KATELYN: Well, sounds very couple-ish. So you did decide to get married.

RICKY: No, I did not decide to get married. I said, "We'll see."

Katelyn joins her office and Adrian joins Ricky.

ADRIAN: Well, look who's standing out in the hallway all by himself.

RICKY: You are so going to have a baby.

ADRIAN: Yep. And soon I will be so married and living with Ben.

RICKY: Yeah. Well, uh...

ADRIAN: You don't wanna get married.

RICKY: I don't know, Adrian. I just think I'm too young. You know, I'm too young, Amy's too young, Ben's too young, you're too young. We're all too young to be getting married and having babies.

ADRIAN: Oh, yeah. But, hey, that's what is. We're having babies. Or we had babies, and... Well, it's nice if there's both a mommy and a daddy to raise a baby, so...

RICKY: So the mommy and daddy don't have to be married. I mean, I'm doing everything I can for John, and I'm not married to Amy. I wouldn't do anything more for him if I were married to Amy. I care about her. I really care about her and about John, but...I don't get marriage. Making a lifetime commitment at our age just seems kind of ridiculous.

ADRIAN: Yeah, I guess. But Ben and I are getting married anyway. And so I guess you and Amy are just gonna be friends?

RICKY; Amy and I are not just friends.

ADRIAN: Oh. Well, that's not what I heard. I heard she offered to have s*x with you, and you didn't wanna have s*x with her. So maybe you are just friends.

ASHLEY'S BEDROOM

Her father comes with a guy.

GEORGE: Ashley, this is Toby, your new study buddy. Toby, this is Ashley, your new study buddy. Good-bye and good luck.

(George leaves)

TOBY: Is he always like that? So what's the word… abrupt?

ASHLEY: I think he's going with the "let's throw two feral cats in a room together and see if they don't kill each other" concept. You can leave if you want.

TOBY: No. I've already been through a number of buddies. I think I'll take a seat, if you don't mind.

ASHLEY: Suit yourself. Do you have a British accent?

TOBY: I was just gonna ask you the same thing.

ASHLEY/TOBY: No. Not exactly.

TOBY: I'm just affecting an accent to differentiate myself from the common people.

ASHLEY: As am I.

TOBY: So, are you antisocial, druggy, seriously ill, genius, agoraphobic? How'd you get into home schooling?

ASHLEY: I had a baby.

TOBY: Liar. I like that. Your sister's the one who had the baby. Your dad gave me a little family history before he dumped me.

ASHLEY: Ask me more questions, I'll tell you more lie.

TOBY: Ever had s*x with a guy?

ASHLEY: No.

TOBY: Is that a lie?

ASHLEY: No.

TOBY: Any girl-on-girl action?

ASHLEY: No!

TOBY: Did I touch a nerve?

ASHLEY: No.

TOBY: Do you wanna ask me anything?

ASHLEY: Ever had s*x with a guy?

TOBY: No.

ASHLEY: Any boy-on-girl action?

TOBY: No.

ASHLEY: Oh, so you're also a liar.

TOBY: Yeah. All right. Well, uh, do you wanna go for a ride in my car? I have a very nice car. "Nice car" was a lie.

Ashley and Toby enters in the kitchen, George is here.

TOBY: Field trip.

GEORGE: You see that? It worked. Now I need a study buddy. And you know why? Because you, my friend, are unable to draw any attention to yourself whenever we go for a walk.

HIGH SCHOOL

Amy falls on Adrian.

ADRIAN: Oh!

AMY: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

ADRIAN: Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay? I heard Ricky turned you down.

AMY: Oh, no, he didn't. He said, "We'll see."

ADRIAN: Oh, I meant s*x. I wasn't talking about the proposal. Or are you two going to see about that, too-- the s*x?

AMY: Whether or not Ricky and I have s*x is none of your business. And whether or not

Ricky and I get married is none of your business.

ADRIAN: Maybe not. But he told me he doesn't wanna get married when he's in high school.

AMY: Yeah, so?

ADRIAN: Then I guess you're not getting married.

AMY: Which brings me back to it's none of your business.

ADRIAN: I seem to recall someone calling me from New York, early on in my pregnancy, offering to be my friend. So are we friends?

AMY: Of course.

ADRIAN: Then as your friend, I'm gonna give you some friendly advice about Ricky.

AMY: 'Cause you know him so much better than I do.

ADRIAN: Yeah. At least I've known him more often than you have.

AMY: I think you've known him more often than anyone has.

ADRIAN: Exactly.

AMY: I think you've known a lot of people more often than anyone has.

ADRIAN: Mm-hmm. Including Ben. Look, but none of that has anything to do with any of this. If you want what I have, then do what I'm gonna tell you to do. Move in with Ricky. Look, it's not about a piece of paper that says you own Ricky or a house. It's about spending time with each other and raising your son together. Ricky's not gonna have a wedding or buy real estate. But I know he loves you and he wants to be with you. So move in with Ricky. And don't ask him. Just do it. Stay over one night, and then never go home.

BUTCHER SHOP

George enters in the shop.

NORA: Hey, George. My boyfriend's here.

BUNNY: Your what? I thought...

GEORGE: Bunny, right? We met at Leo's wedding. George Juergens.

BUNNY: Yeah. George. How are you? What can we do for you?

GEORGE: Thought I'd swing by and see if I could take your newest employee out for coffee.

NORA: He thinks I'm hot.

GEORGE: Yeah, I do.

BUNNY: Sorry, kids. We don't have coffee breaks.

NORA: Yeah. We only get bathroom breaks.

GEORGE: Yeah, probably too soon in our relationship for that. I would've called, but I don't have your cell number.

NORA: Uh, you mean my cell phone number or the number of my cell, which was 323, upper level, upper bunk.

GEORGE: Watch it. That stuff turns me on.

BUNNY: Uh, why don't I let you two chat?

NORA: So, you wanna see me use the meat cleaver?

GEORGE: Ooh, baby. So, what time you get off work?

NORA: Uh, when Ricky and Ben get here. Stick around till 3:30, I'll wash the blood off my hands, and we'll be on our way.

GEORGE: Sure. And, um, maybe instead of coffee, we could… I don't know…have dinner or something?

BUNNY: Uh...if she wants to have dinner with you.

NORA: Well, I wanna have dinner with him.

GRACE’S HOUSE

Grant and Grace enter in the kitchen.

GRACE: Hello? Is anyone home? Good. I'll just leave a note.

GRANT: All right. Whatever you want.

(Kathleen comes in)

KATHLEEN: Oh. Hey, you two. What's going on?

GRACE: Oh. I thought you weren't home.

KATHLEEN: Oh. You disappointed, 'cause you thought it would be quiet and you could get your homework done?

GRANT: Not exactly.

KATHLEEN: Jeff and I were just taking a nap.

GRACE: I'm just gonna go pack a few things, 'cause I'm gonna spend the night at Grant's.

(Grace goes to her bedroom)

GRANT: Oh, boy. Anyone want a sandwich?

KATHLEEN: She's spending the night at your house? Grace is spending the night at your house? Who said Grace is spending the night at your house?

GRANT: I think Grace did.

Kathleen joins Grace in her bedroom.

GRACE: Amy and Ricky are moving in together, and Adrian and Ben are looking at condos right now, because they're getting married because they're having a baby. So in comparison, I think spending the night at Grant's house is nothing to be upset about.

KATHLEEN: Yeah, if those were your siblings and not just your friends that might count for something Grace. Are Grant's parents gonna be home?

GRACE: No, they're not. Um, Mom, is your shirt on inside out?

KATHLEEN: Fine. I know the two of you have spent the night here without having s*x, so maybe you won't have s*x there. And by the way, I'm married. All right? Which should not encourage you to get married? Don't get married just to have s*x with someone, and don't have s*x with someone just to get them to marry you.

GRACE: Okay.

KATHLEEN: And if you do have s*x in high school, just know that it's not likely this is who you'll be having s*x with for the rest of your life.

GRACE: Okay. Wait a second. Are... You're not afraid that if I have s*x, you're gonna die, too, are you?

KATHLEEN: No, honey, I'm not. I-- I'm just afraid that you're not ready and that you'll regret it. And once you do it, you can't take it back.

GRACE: I know that. And I know that I'm ready. Which is not to say that Grant and I are definitely gonna have s*x tonight. But we're thinking about it. But we've been thinking about it. You know.

KATHLEEN: Yeah, I know that. And thank you for talking to me about it. I mean, I'm really happy the way we've been talking you and me and Grant. So, I guess it really is your decision. And if you do decide to do something, I want you to be careful. I mean, I know you're on birth control, but please use condoms. Okay? Promise?

GRACE: I promise.

KATHLEEN: Okay.

GRACE: Bye.

GUEST’S HOUSE

Madison begins to kiss Jack.

MADISON: What the heck? Let's just do it already.

JACK: I can't. I have a game in, like, two hours.

MADISON: Yeah. And?

JACK: It's just not a good time.

MADISON: I don't get it.

JACK: I thought you wanted, like, a hotel and romance and flowers and all that stuff.

MADISON: Well, yeah, I did. But...I don't. I wanna be spontaneous.

JACK: I can't. I can't.

MADISON: Yeah, you can.

JACK: I don't have a condom.

MADISON: I have condoms.

JACK: But you're not on the pill.

MADISON: Well, no, but I have condoms. Just be careful.

JACK: I'd rather you be on the pill.

MADISON: Okay. Are you, like, actually turning me down for s*x?

JACK: I guess I am.

MADISON: Oh, and this is all because of some stupid football game?

JACK: It's not some stupid football game. Every game counts. That guy from Arizona's gonna be there tonight. The scout.

MADISON: He was at your last game.

JACK: Oh, well, then from some other state.

MADISON: You know, you're not a good liar. If you don't wanna have s*x with me, just say it.

JACK: I don't wanna have s*x with you.

MADISON: Why?

JACK: Because I don't want you to get any ideas about us getting married or buying a place together or something.

MADISON: Oh, so it's because we'd never get married or get a place together or something?

JACK: I don't know. I can't know that right now. But I do know that if we do it, you're gonna want some kind of commitment.

MADISON: Yeah. Well, you know, I-- I would want some kind of commitment, but...I don't know. It, like... It doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment. You know, maybe you could just...We could just promise that, like, we would only have s*x with each other, you know, while we're having s*x. I mean, maybe that's a promise that we could make.

JACK: We'll see.

MADISON: Who do you think you are? Ricky? There's no "we'll see" in this relationship.

JACK: How about "I'll think about it"?

LAUREN’S BEDROOM

Lauren waits a call.

LAUREN: Ring! Ring, damn it!

(Her phone rings)

LAUREN (at phone): Hello. This is Lauren.

JUERGUES’ HOUSE/ADRIAN’S HOUSE

Amy calls Adrian.

AMY: There you go, John.

ADRIAN (at phone): Hey, Amy.

AMY (at phone): Look, I really appreciate that you talked to me today. I don't know. Maybe you're right. It would be a pretty bold move to just force myself into Ricky's apartment, but I might give it a try.

ADRIAN (at phone): Yeah?

AMY (at phone): Yeah. But, anyway, since you offered me your help and advice today, if you come over here, I'd like to return the favor.

ADRIAN (at phone): What, by telling me something I don't know about Ben?

AMY (at phone): Yep. You wanna know how to get him out of his house, don't you?

BUTCHER SHOP

Leo enters in the shop.

LEO: Hey.

BUNNY: Hey, boss. Another night of house hunting?

LEO: I guess. Where is he?

BUNNY: Ben? Oh, he went up to Ricky's. Wanted to get a shower before he goes out with the bride.

LEO: Ricky's mother around?

BUNNY: No. She leaves when they come in.

LEO: Amy?

BUNNY: Uh-uh. She's coming by later to drop off the little guy, but it's not a date. What's going on?

LEO: Got a call from the school counselor today. She wants me to talk to Ricky about going to college.

BUNNY: He never mentioned college. I think his secret dream is to take over the shop here.

LEO: Yeah. She thinks so, too. But, uh, you went to college, right?

BUNNY: And?

(Ricky joins them)

RICKY: Hi, Mr. Boykewich.

LEO: Ricky, how are you?

RICKY: I'm good. Why? You heard Amy proposed to me?

BUNNY: Proposed several things. Okay. Good night.

(Bunny leaves)

LEO: I did hear.

RICKY: I don't know what she was thinking.

LEO: That she'd like to get married?

RICKY: Oh, no. You're not here to tell me to marry her, are you?

LEO: No, no. That's totally up to you and Amy.

(Ben joins them)

BEN: That's not what you said about Adrian.

LEO: Well, you're my son. Uh, okay. Well, I guess we're off.

RICKY: Did you wanna tell me something?

LEO: We'll talk some other time.

RICKY: All right. Did I do something?

LEO: No, no. You didn't do anything. I just haven't talked to you in a while.

BEN: Should I wait in the car?

LEO: Oh, no. We gotta get going. Good night, Ricky.

RICKY: Yeah. Good night.

JUERGUES’ HOUSE

Toby and Ashley pass in the kitchen, Amy is here.

AMY: Um, wait. Hold-- Hold on a minute.

TOBY: Toby. I'm the new study buddy.

AMY: Oh. All right. Well, uh, my dad's not around, and I have to go, so--

TOBY: We figured.

AMY: Does my dad know that you're with Ashley?

TOBY: He does.

AMY: Okay. Well…

TOBY: It's cool. We've been pre-approved by the Board of Education for co--

AMY: Mingling?

TOBY: I wish. Is that your spawn there? I was just trying to impress you with my lack of social skills so that you might find me appropriate company for the dark one.

AMY: You might just be perfect.

TOBY: Yeah. Who can ever tell who's supposed to be with whom?

AMY: Yeah. Right. Well, have a nice evening.

TOBY: Okay. Yeah. Totally.

(Toby leaves)

AMY(at the dog): Follow.

(The dog goes out)

AMY: Just one more minute. We're going.


JUERGUES’HOUSE/RESTAURANT

Amy calls her father.

GEORGE: I'm sorry. (at phone) Hi. Guess where I am.

AMY(at phone): Not here. And Ashley and her new study buddy just got here.

GEORGE(at phone): Oh, rats. All right. I'll head that way, shortly.

AMY(at phone): I'm going over to Ricky's. I'll call you lard. Oh, I didn't guess where you are. You wanna tell me?

GEORGE(at phone): Out with your future mother-in-law.

AMY(at phone): Who?

GEORGE(at phone): Nora. We're getting a bite to eat at Jeff's. It's a date.

AMY(at phone): O-kay.

GEORGE(at phone): Don't worry about Ashley. She'll be fine. The counselor and the teacher know this kid, and I talked to his parents.

AMY(at phone): All right. Well, uh, enjoy your dinner.

GEORGE(at phone): Okay. Bye.

RESTAURANT

George diners with Nora.

GEORGE: Just the kids checking on me.

NORA: Oh, that's sweet.

GEORGE: So, where were we? You think Ricky and Amy will get married?

NORA: I don't know. You want them to get married?

GEORGE: Sure, if it means we can hang out more.

NORA: Oh, George. I love hanging out with you, too, but there's something I've really gotta tell you.

(Ruben and a woman arrives in the restaurant)

GEORGE: Oh, my God. That's Adrian's dad, Ruben. He's not with his wife.

NORA: Ow. Somebody's gonna get in trouble.

OLLIE: What are you doing here?

NORA: Hi. Nothing. Just grabbing a bite after work. What are you doing here?

OLLIE: Business. We're working on a case.

NORA: Ah.

(Nora and Ollie kiss)

NORA/OLLIE: I'd like you to meet my girlfriend.

NORA: George, this is Ollie. Ollie, this is George. Uh, Ricky's girlfriend's dad.

OLLIE: Oh, George. I've heard a lot about you.

NORA: I was going to tell you.

GEORGE: My God, I almost slept with a lesbian.

NORA: No, you didn't.

OLLIE: Honey, this is Ruben. Ruben is the guy--

NORA: Who got me out. Ruben!

OLLIE: Yes.

NORA: Oh, God, you're cute. I love you. How can I ever thank you enough?

RUBEN: Well, I just set things in motion. Really, I didn't do anything. Besides, Ollie here owes me dinner. She just beat me up in court.

NORA: Oh, no. You know what? I just got my first paycheck. I'm going to buy everyone dinner here.

OLLIE: No, Nora. That's really sweet, honey, but--

NORA: No, but nothing. I'm gonna do it. Come on.

RUBEN: Yes, I knew they were dating. I didn't know you two were dating.

NORA: We'll all just have the soup.

OLLIE: Yeah. Soup. Yeah.

HOUSE

Ben and Adrian look at a condo. They are with Leo and a salesman.

BEN: And you don't know what the utilities are?

MAN: No one's actually lived here yet. The owners partially furnished the place, and in the process got into an argument, and split up before ever taking possession.

BEN: Aw, jeez. You should've told us that first. This place has bad Karma written all over it.

MAN: I'm sure their Karma followed them to their own separate apartments, and... Come on, Ben. Adrian likes it. Your dad thinks it's a good investment.

BEN: Then we should just buy it?

LEO: You're not buying anything. I am. What the heck is wrong with you? You made a checklist. This has everything on your checklist.

MAN: Yeah. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, black and white tile, separate laundry off the kitchen, electric stove, white appliances, an outdoor space, hardwood floors, et cetera, et cetera, and it is in your price range.

BEN: Is the paint zero VOC?

MAN: Yes.

LEO: Who the hell are you? This place is perfect for the two of you.

ADRIAN: Could Ben and I just hang out in here for, like, a half hour or so? You know, kind of get a feel for the place.

BEN: I don't think we need to do that.

LEO: Do that. I'll have Mike drop me off, and then he'll swing back by and pick up the two of you.

MAN: Can you close the door? It locks automatically.

BEN: Which means we could easily lock ourselves out and leave the baby inside.

MAN: It's the temporary lock so Realtors can show the condo.

LEO: Good night.

Leo and the man leave. Ben joins Adrian on the couch.

BEN: I know what you're gonna say that you love the place. But you've loved every place we've seen, and I really just think we have to keep looking.

ADRIAN: I do love it. I really do. I-I love the kitchen and the location. But, mostly, Ben, I love you.

BEN: I love you, too, Adrian.

ADRIAN: Is there some reason why you don't wanna leave home? I mean, are you afraid that you and I can't handle raising a baby on our own? Because, Ben, we're still gonna have plenty of help from our parents and our friends, and... Well, I think we're gonna be fine. I mean, it's going to be crazy, but it's gonna be crazy in a good way. You know, we're very lucky.

BEN: I know. I just...I don't think that this is the place.

ADRIAN: Well, are you going to think that any place is the right place besides your own home? Okay. Your mom died at that house. And you and your mom and your dad were happy

in that house, and... Well, I'm sure you always pictured yourself growing up at that house and never leaving. But if you think about it, you were going to leave it. I mean, you were probably

gonna leave it next year after you graduated from high school and went to college.

BEN: But I'd go back.

ADRIAN: Yeah, you would. I'm sure you'll always go back to that house. It's like your safety zone where you can hang on to things the way they were supposed to be. The way things were

when your mom was there. I'm sure you have some really wonderful memories of the three of you in that house. Ben, those memories are gonna be with you wherever you go. Even if the house went away, the memories would still be with you. You can't hold the memories in your hand. But those memories are the real part of life, not the house.

BEN: I always knew that you were smarter than I am.

ADRIAN: Maybe just older and wiser.

BEN: Just a year older and a year wiser, but I'll catch up to you. Promise.

(They kiss)

RICKY'S APARTMENT

Amy comes in with John.

AMY: We're here.

RICKY: Hey, buddy. Thanks for bringing him.

AMY: Yeah. I was happy to. I made you some dinner. If you don't want it tonight, you can save it for tomorrow. It's just pasta and a salad.

RICKY: What kind of pasta?

AMY: Just spaghetti and meat sauce. So you boys have a great time. I'll see you Sunday, John.

RICKY: You made me spaghetti and meat sauce? You think you're gonna bribe me with my favorite meal?

AMY: Oh, I forgot it was your favorite meal. It was just the easiest thing to make. And since my dad wasn't home, I thought I would make dinner.

RICKY: Uh-huh. Go on.

AMY: As it turns out, he thinks he's on a date with your mom. Yeah. And Ashley and her friend are doing their own thing. So there you go. Spaghetti and meat sauce.

RICKY: Wait. Ashley has a friend?

AMY: New study buddy. So, I'll be going now.

RICKY: Did you eat?

AMY: No. That's okay. I saved some of that for myself at home. I'm fine.

RICKY: You're not going to the football game with Madison and Lauren?

AMY: No. I'm just gonna have dinner and have some time to myself. It'll be nice.

RICKY: All right. Well, you're welcome to come in and eat, if you want. I haven't eaten.

AMY: No. It's okay. I think I may have overstepped the boundaries when I was here last weekend.

RICKY: Yeah, maybe.

AMY: So I withdraw my proposal of marriage. But I'm still open to having s*x when the time is right.

RICKY: Just come on in. We'll have some dinner together.

AMY: Okay. But after that, I'm leaving so you can have your time with John.

GRANT'S BEDROOM

Grant and Grace eat pizza.

GRANT: So?

GRACE: So?

GRANT: So come on. What do you think?

GRACE: About the pizza? Pizza's great. Okay, I-I do have one regret.

GRANT: And what's that?

GRACE: I regret that we wasted the whole summer not having s*x.

GRANT: Oh, good. So you liked it.

GRACE: I liked it. I really liked it. I just wish we'd done it sooner.

GRANT: Nah, I think it's good we waited the three months.

GRACE: Four months.

GRANT: Whatever. It seemed like an eternity. But at this point, we knew each other well enough that we were both totally comfortable. Weren't we?

GRACE: We were. Although I was a bit more than comfortable.

GRANT: Yeah, you were.

GRACE: You know, I know we're just juniors in high school, and this probably isn't gonna last forever, but right now, right...right in this moment, I'm really happy.

GRANT: Me, too. I hope this won't destroy your happiness, but I just have to say it. I love you, Grace.

GRACE: You sure?

GRANT: Yeah.

GRACE: Good. I love you, too. I love this feeling. I love it. I love being with you. I love having a boyfriend. I love having s*x. Well, let's make a promise to each other. If either one of us doesn't feel this way...you know, if we fall out of love...let's be really nice about it, because to lose this would be really painful.

GRANT: I don't wanna worry about that right now. But I completely agree. And who knows?Maybe it will work out. Maybe we'll be that couple that meets in high school and stays together through college and gets married and has children and grandchildren.

GRACE: I didn't know guys thought like that.

GRANT: I was also thinking about doing it again.

GRACE: Me, too.

GRANT: I didn't know girls thought like that.

GRACE: Yeah.

GYMNASIUM

Madison and Lauren wait boys go out.

MADISON: Yeah, so, we're just gonna wait a little longer. You know, and Jack's just gonna have to go without s*x. He can go without s*x. So can I.

LAUREN: So can I. And in another year, we'll be looking at colleges and deciding where we wanna go and what we wanna major in. As much as I hate him for breaking up with me, I think Jesse did the right thing.

MADISON: Yeah, I guess. I-- I kind of felt like you guys really liked each other, though.

LAUREN: Yeah.

(Jesse goes out)

JESSE: Hey, Madison.

MADISON: Hey.

JESSE: Hey, Lauren.

LAUREN: Hey, Jesse.

JESSE: How are you?

LAUREN: I'm good. You?

JESSE: Good. Good night.

(Jack and a boy go out)

BOY: Hey. Sorry that took so long.

LAUREN: No problem.

JACK: Let's go eat. I'm starving.

MADISON: Okay.

JUERGUES' HOUSE

George goes home. Ashley is here.

GEORGE: That guy better not be here at this time of night.

ASHLEY: What time of night?

GEORGE: Bedtime at night.

ASHLEY: He's not.

GEORGE: Was that a...

ASHLEY: It's late. You're seeing things.

GEORGE: It's not that late.

ASHLEY: What'd you do tonight?

GEORGE: I had a date with Ricky's mother.

ASHLEY: Oh? The married one or the gay one?

GEORGE: Did everyone know but me?

ASHLEY: I think so. Good night.

GEORGE: Ahh!

JUERGUES' HOUSE/ANNE'S HOUSE

George calls Anne.

ANNE(at phone): Hey. I thought you might call.

GEORGE(at phone): Why is that?

ANNE(at phone): Have you talked to Amy?

GEORGE(at phone): No, not for hours. Why?

ANNE(at phone): So she hasn't told you anything?

GEORGE(at phone): No. She didn't even tell me that Ricky's mom is gay.

ANNE(at phone): Yeah, she is.

GEORGE(at phone): Did everyone know but me?

ANNE(at phone): Probably.

GEORGE(at phone): So what's going on with Amy? What now? What comes after a ridiculous marriage proposal and trying to seduce the father of her baby in front of me?

ANNE(at phone): She wants to move in with him. She wants to live with Ricky, not married.

GEORGE(at phone): What the hell? She's not gonna do that. I do not want her doing that. What is wrong with these people? Getting married and having babies and living with each other and acting like total idiots.

ANNE(at phone): Jealous?

GEORGE(at phone): Maybe. But that doesn't mean my Amy is moving in with that...that... that...

ANNE(at phone): Father of her baby? I think it might be okay. I think it might be good for them. You know, maybe by the time she gets out of high school, she'll realize that she doesn't wanna be married, and she'll choose what college she goes to based on what's best for her future and not what's closest to the butcher shop.

GEORGE(at phone): Anne, we are not gonna let her do that.

ANNE(at phone): I don't really think that we can stop her from doing that, if that's what she wants to do, and I'd rather not try.

GEORGE(at phone): I'm supposed to just sit here and let that happen?

ANNE(at phone): No. You're supposed to get back out there and get a life, and so am I.

RICKY'S APARTMENT

Amy and Ricky are sleeping on the couch.

AMY: Oh, I'm so sleepy.

RICKY: You wanna stay over?

AMY: I wanna stay over for the rest of our lives, but I know you don't want that, so I better get up and go home.

RICKY: It's late. You don't have to go. I wouldn't want you to feel like I'm moving in or anything.

RICKY: Amy, I'd be okay with that with you and me living together. I'm just not okay with getting married.

AMY: You'd be okay with that?

RICKY: Oh. Oh, now I get it. This is what you wanted all along tonight. Now you don't wanna get married. You wanna live together.

AMY: Yeah, I do. I mean, if you don't wanna get married now, you're probably never gonna wanna get married. I'm fine with that. I just wanna be with you.

RICKY: Yeah, well, no matter what we want,

I don't think your parents would ever let us live together.

AMY: No. They will. I already talked to my mother about it, and she said okay. She's gonna talk to my dad. And we can talk to my dad.

RICKY: We'll see. I'm kidding.

AMY: So you want me to move in here?

RICKY: Yeah. But not right away. Give me some time to talk to Mr. Boykewich and make sure it's okay with him, all right?

AMY: How much time?

RICKY: A week.

AMY: Okay. I'm sure he won't object. He's buying a condo for Ben and Adrian so they can live together.

RICKY: But they're getting married. And if he wants us to get married before we live together--

AMY: Then I'll say no, or we won't live together.

RICKY: Okay. And s*x?

AMY: We'll see.

HOUSE

Adrian and Ben are also sleeping on the couch in the new house.

End of the episode.