04x10 - The French Connection

[bunniefuu]

At Ryan's workplace

Taylor: It is.It's too much.

Ryan: No,no,no,no.Not... What is it?

Taylor: New bookstore opened. It looks like a good bookstore.

Ryan: All right,well,look,I should get back to work.

Taylor: Oh,yeah,okay.

Ryan: But thank you.This was really great.

Taylor: Good,I'm glad you liked it.Bye. I'll call you later.

Ryan: Ok.

At the bookstore

Taylor: a season for peaches - henri-micheal de momourant. Oh,no.No,this cannot be happening. Excuse me,uh... what is this book?

Man: A Season For Peaches. It's the bestseller from France.English translation came in today.

Taylor: Okay,what's it about?

Man: Kind of like,Bridges of Madison County meets The Notebook meets ...p*rn.

Taylor: Oh,my God.Plot,please.

Man: Uh,this Frenchman seduces this young American girl and then they get married. I can't remember where.

Taylor: His family's chapel in Burgundy.

Man: Oh,so you read it.

Taylor: No. I lived it. I'm Peaches.

Generic

At Cohen's

Ryan: Here you go.

Seth: Oh,trusty neck pillow. What did Ryan do to you?

Ryan: So you're really going to Seattle?

Seth: You don't want to marry a girl,you've got to ask her father's permission,Ryan. It's the polite thing to do.

Ryan: Yeah,except you don't want to get married,which you could still tell her,you know.

Seth: Not a chance.

Ryan: So you guys are really gonna walk down the aisle because neither of you is willing to back down.

Seth: This is where Dr.Roberts comes in. He rejects me,this whole game of chicken ends and I don't have to be the bad guy.

Ryan: But are you positive that he's gonna say "no"? I mean,I thought you guys bonded before he left.

Seth: There was some golf watching. There may have even been some sandwich eating. But deep down inside,he still sees me as the skinny 16-year-old boy trying to seduce his daughter. I just need to remind him of that.

Ryan: Brilliant plan.Good luck getting rejected.

Seth: Fortunately,it's something I excel at. Taylor.

Taylor: Ryan,can I talk to you for just a second?

Ryan: Yeah,sure. Is anything wrong?

Taylor: Oh,no. Well,nothing big. A teensy little thing. So Michiko Kakatani called it "a sexual epic," which I think is a real stretch. It's already been banned in Texas,so we don't have to worry about people there reading it. I debated even telling you about this,but you know my policy- full disclosure.

At Cohen's - Poolhouse

Taylor: So,how are you? Okay?

Ryan: Your ex-husband wrote this about you.

Taylor: A novel,not a memoir. It's a big difference.Ask James Frey. It's just that things between us have been so good lately, and I wouldn't want one silly,erotic novel to change all that. So I'm gonna ask you a favor. Please don't read it.

Ryan: Look,I've never read a romance novel before.

Taylor: Shocker.

Ryan: And I'm not gonna start now.

Taylor: Thank you. I'm gonna put this away now and we will never have to talk about it again.

Ryan: Until the movie comes out.

Taylor: Yeah,right. Like they could make a movie about that. Maybe on DVD at the adult video store.

At New Match Office

Julie: What are the numbers on this guy?

Spencer: Uh,six feet,190. 18% body fat.

Julie: Nope.No good. You know Mrs.Jacobson,she likes her boys straight out of Muscle Beach. Okay,these two should do. Tell her she can have either at $2,500,gratuity not included. And here comes Kirsten.Go on,get out of here right now,thank you. Hi,Kiki.

Kirsten: Hello,Spencer. How's your dad?

Spencer: Good. Still in Dubai buying a fleet of limos or... maybe they were camels,can't remember. See ya.

Kirsten: What's he doing here?

Julie: Oh,he was just helping me move some furniture.

Kirsten: Everything looks the same.

Julie: Yeah,it looked terrible,so I had him move it back.

Kirsten: Would you like me to help you return those calls?

Julie: I got it. Ooh,better get this. Work,work,work. Oh,and thanks for the coffee.

At Roberts'

Taylor: Hello !

Summer: Hey. What do you think of updos?

Taylor: Are you reading Modern Bride?

Summer: As we speak,Seth is on his way to Seattle to ask my dad if he can marry me.

Taylor: So,here comes the bride,I guess. Summer,do you realize what you're doing? You're about to enter into a doomed marriage.

Summer: I don't know,Seth seems really committed. Look,I think I might marry him someday,so maybe there's no point in waiting.

Taylor: So,living with me and the story of my divorce has taught you nothing.

Summer: No offense,Taylor,but you married some French dude you knew for,like,nine seconds. This is a little different.

Taylor: Okay,I see I need to get more into your wheel house if I'm gonna drive this home. What about Holly?

Summer: From high school?

Taylor: Yes,she got married last summer.Why don't you call her? She could give you a preview of life as a wife.

Summer: Fine.Can we drop it?

Taylor: Fine.

Summer: A Season For Peaches. You know,I'm reading this.This is dirty.

Taylor: Excuse me,the girl just has a healthy sex drive.

Summer: Yeah,for a hooker.

Taylor: Would you just give me that? Thank you. She's just young and confused,okay?!

At Ryan's workplace

Ryan: Can I get you anything else?

Homme: No,I'm good.

Ryan: It's not a library,you know.

Sandy: Hey,Ryan. How are you today? Let's see what am I going to have.

Ryan: Two shrimp tacos,Luis.

Luis: Hola,Se~or Cohen.

Sandy: Luis,how are you today? I tell you,ever since you started working here,it's revolutionized my lunch hour. Kirsten's reading that. Let me tell you,there is one part...

Ryan: Page 47. Man,was that hot.

Sandy: And in public. I thought Peaches was going to get arrested.

Ryan: It's Taylor.

Sandy: Who's Taylor?

Ryan: Her,the book,Peaches.

Man: You know her?

Sandy: No,what are you talking about? It's about a girl from California who...

Ryan: Yeah.

Sandy: So,uh... have you read it?

Ryan: No,and I'm not about to start.Can I get you anything else?

Sandy: No.No,I'm good. Maybe a glass of water.

Ryan: Great.

Harbour

Kaitlin: I just don't see how they fit in the voting boxes.

Will: Come on,these women sacrificed their life so you can vote.

Kaitlin: Maybe they should've sacrificed some cheeseburgers. I'm kidding. Just ask me some questions.

Will: What happened in 1848?

Kaitlin: The first women's rights convention.

Will: And...

Kaitlin: Elizabeth Cady Stanton read the Declaration of Sentiments, which proclaimed that men and women were created equal.

Will: All right,that's good. That was awesome.

Kaitlin: I'm gonna rock that test That's thanks to you for helping me study.

Will: All right,I'll see you in class.

Kaitlin: Wait. What are you doing tomorrow night?

Will: You asking me out?

Kaitlin: Are you saying yes?

Will: You go first.

Kaitlin: Okay. You're cordially invited to hang out at my house. With me.

Will: Well,I accept your invitation.

Eric: Nice book,professor.

Brad: Yeah,professor.

Will: Real funny,guys. See you later.

Brad: Man,that guy is like the professor of dorkonomics.

Eric: He should teach Dorkology 101. He's not even a dork.

Brad: He doesn't surf and he doesn't play water polo.

Eric: Yeah,ergo,dorko.

Brad: Do you like him?

Kaitlin: You shut up before I vomit on you.

Eric: What's wrong with this chick's hair?

Brad: Gruesome.

At Roberts' - Summer's bedroom

Holly: Oh,my God,look how ripped my arms are.

Summer: I'm so sorry I missed your wedding.

Holly: Whatev-skis. You dropped off the radar when you started dating Seth.

Summer: Yeah. You know,Holly,when you were engaged,were you totally sure that you wanted to get married?

Holly: Oh,my God,totally,bitch. You are going to love being a wife. You work out in the morning,meet the girls for lunch,and then we shop all day.

Summer: So there's,like,a whole crew of you guys?

Holly: We call ourselves the Newpsie-weds. Can you even handle how cute that is? Well,you'd better,because you're meeting us all at lunch tomorrow.

Summer: Yeah. You know,it'd be nice to have a bunch of friends again.

Holly: Oh,my God,look what I just did. So cute,I want to barf. "Hi,Mom."

Summer: No.

Holly: "Hi,Mom."

Summer: No.

At the bookstore

Ryan: Bad idea.

Man: The reading's over,but if you want your book signed,the author's still here.

Ryan: I'm sorry,what?

Homme: You may have to wait in line.

Henri-Michel: Ah,that won't be necessary. Now... who shall I make it out to?A girlfriend,perhaps? What is her name?

Ryan: Taylor.

Poolhouse

Taylor: Ryan,you in there? You know,I called you at work last night and,um,then at home,but I guess you must have been really tired. Oh,no...

Ryan: Hey.

Taylor: Did you read it?

Ryan: Yeah.

Taylor: All of it?

Ryan: Uh-huh.

Taylor: Oh,God. But I thought you said you...

Ryan: Met your ex-husband last night. He was at the bookstore doing a reading.

Taylor: Wait.You met Henri-Michel?How did you know it was him?

Ryan: Dirty hair,scarf smells like brie.

Taylor: That's Henri-Michel. I just can't believe this.I mean,did you read every page,even...

Ryan: Page 47,yeah.

Taylor: Okay,Ryan,even if I was that limber,you know I would never do that in the Chunnel.

Ryan: I get that it's not true,and,uh, you know,I'm sorry that I read it after I promised I wouldn't,but seeing the guy in the flesh...

Taylor: Okay,but where does this leave us because you can't even really look me in the eyes,so that's not a great sign.

Ryan: I don't know,I... I got to shower and get to work.

Seattle

Seth: So you're liking it up here?

Neil: Seriously?

Seth: Seriously.

Neil: I love it. It's good to see you,Seth.

Seth: Good,'cause what I wanted to talk to you about is actually kind of a big deal.

Neil: I thought we're going to play golf.

Seth: Um,I'm actually up here for something else.

Neil: Okay,step into my office.What's on your mind?

Seth: Oh,you know,just thinking about marrying your daughter.

Neil: You want to marry Summer?

Seth: Marry,tie the knot,get hitched; whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Neil: Why on Earth would you want to do such a thing?

Seth: Well,the median age of married couples is getting increasingly higher, so Summer and I have decided to buck the trend. When the world zigs,we're gonna zag.

Neil: That's your reason?

Seth: I said the zig,then the zag,so... Yeah,pretty much.

Neil: Well,let's back up. Do you love my daughter?

Seth: Well,she's cool,right? And,uh,she's pretty easy on the eyes.

Neil: She's pregnant,isn't she?

Seth: No. Uh,we thought for a second,but thank God,we dodged that b*llet,so no.

Neil: Yes. I'll be right there. I've got to go. There's a man who's been impaled by what appears to be a unicorn,

Seth: Unicorns...

Neil: but our conversation's going to continue. We'll talk about this on my rounds tomorrow.

Seth: So does this mean I have your blessing? They do exist.

Motel

Taylor: Henri?

Henri-Michel: Too late,it's gone.

Taylor: Henri,it's me.

Henri-Michel: Peaches,you have come. I see I'm in the doghouse.

Taylor: Henri,these places come with bathtubs.

Henri-Michel: Bathing is for the bourgeois. Now,tell me,Peaches,how have I offended you?

Taylor: It wasn't enough that you had to write a book about me,you had to come to my hometown,too?

Henri-Michel: You think I want to be here? This constant sunshine is so banal. Look at them down there,so clean,so passionless. No,I am only here to promote my book.

Taylor: Good,because if you think for one second that this little trip of yours is going to send me scurrying back to France...

Henri-Michel: Maisnon.No,no. As they say in your country,"That ship has sailed. I see,though,that I'm still have the power to disturb you,yes?

Taylor: What?No,no,stop that! I just came here to tell you something. I'm with someone now.

Henri-Michel: Ah,oui,I met him last night. He seemed to roll with it as you say.

Taylor: Yeah,well,he didn't. And if I lose him 'cause of your stupid book...

Henri-Michel: Oh,Peaches. Peaches,I cannot stand to see you sad. What if he really got to know me,hmm? He would see that I am not nearly as threatening as the fireball of passion he knows from the page, and that I have no intention of stealing back my Peaches, though they are looking ripe today.

Taylor: Hey,up here! So,okay,what are you saying there? You're saying that,what,the three of us should go on a date?

Henri-Michel: Precisement. Peaches,I know I wronged you by writing this book. Let me repay this debt by mending the rift with you and your corn-fed farm boy,hmm? Now don't move. The light.

At New Match Office

Julie: I apologize about the last guy,Mrs.Jacobson. This one will have his back waxed,I promise. Two cases of toner will be fine.Thanks. Copy machine's acting up again.

Kirsten: It was working five minutes ago.

Julie: That's what's so frustrating.

Kirsten: Julie,we need to talk. Ever since b*llet's New Year's Eve party when all of our clients wound up with those young guys...

Julie: How funny was that?

Kirsten: you've been acting jumpy.

Julie: Overworked? 'Cause that's all it is. I really love my job.

Kirsten: I know you do.

Julie: Which is why I don't want to see you jeopardize it. I need to get that. New Match,Julie Cooper speaking. Hi.Yes. Yes,of course. Okay,uh-huh.I'll see you.Bye. That was my lunch date. I'm sorry.We'll have to talk later. I'll see you,okay?

Kirsten: Okay.

Yatch Club

Summer: Ready,Pancakes?

Holly: Summer,you came!

Summer: Hi. I hope I'm wearing the right clothes.

Holly: You're not. You are way too cute. Hold on right here and I'll introduce you to the girls. Hos,this is Summer Roberts. She just got engaged.

Summer: Nice to meet you,too.

Holly: Summer,this is Bryn and this is Liza. Oh,you're just in time for a toast. To the newest Newpsie-wed,Summer Roberts.

Summer: Oh,thanks. Bottoms up.

At Ryan's workplace

Man: Hey,listen to this part. I hoisted her onto the stack of hay and manfully...

Ryan: Listen,buddy,there's a lot of...

Taylor: Come on,Taylor,you can do this. He likes you,you like him,he doesn't think you're a big fat divorcee whore. Hi.

Ryan: Hi.

Taylor: I was just trying to decide between a burrito or a taco. Taco,burrito,big decision.

Ryan: So you weren't trying to psych yourself up to come talk to me?

Taylor: No,of course not.Yeah,kind of.

Ryan: Taylor,look,it's,it's fine.I'll get over it.

Taylor: Really?

Ryan: Yeah,just give me some time.

Taylor: Okay,well,there's something that might help speed the healing process.

Yatch club

Holly: Cheers,ladies.

Summer: Seriously,though,I am so using the champagne fountain.

Brynn: And what about your colors? Have you decided?

Summer: No,'cause that's what we're gonna be doing at my house tomorrow night. Am I right,b*tches?

Holly: But,seriously,they feel just like real boobs. Let's cheers to that.

Summer: You know what? I am so down for that juice fast.

Holly: I told Brent that for Christmas,all I want is an African baby.

Summer: African babies.

Holly: I love them.

Summer: Mm-hmm. Where's the waiter?I need me some more champy. Hey,mama needs some more bubbly.

Che: How can I help you,ma'am?

Summer: Jay?

Che: Did you need something?

Holly: She wants some more champs,yo. Summer,Huh? you okay?

Summer: Yeah,just bring on the bubbly.

At Roberts'

Kaitlin: And the best part,these cops,they really are that stupid.

Will: You really want to watch this?

Kaitlin: Are you kidding ? It's my favorite show. You can't make this stuff up.

Julie: Kaitlin,have you seen my cell? Oh,I didn't know you had a friend over.

Kaitlin: Mom,Will. Will,this is my mother.

Will: Nice to meet you,Mrs.Cooper.

Julie: Nice to meet you,Will. Well,I wish I could stay and talk some more but I'm gonna go look for my phone at the office. You two look cute together.

Kaitlin: Mom...

Julie: Enjoy your date.

Kaitlin: It's not a date.

Julie: Have fun.

Will: Why did you say it wasn't a date?

Kaitlin: It's not like dinner and a movie or anything.

Will: Well,we just had dinner,and after this crappy show goes off,we can watch a movie.

Kaitlin: Well,you got me there.

Will: So,if this is how you act with your mom,how are you gonna act at school?

Kaitlin: Let's just watch this show. That cop,he just drove a car into a meth lab. That's hilarious.

Will: I didn't think it was that funny.

Kaitlin: Well,maybe it's 'cause you're not high. Do you want to smoke up?

WIll: I think I'm gonna go. I thought the way you are at school was all just an act.

Kaitlin: What are you saying?

Will: Guess I was wrong.

Yatch club

Henri-Michel: Levy publishes an inane article accusing me of being a post-structuralist.

Taylor: Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.Am I right?

Ryan: So,what are,what are your plans in Newport?

Henri-Michel: Well,I have been searching for even a nibble of culture, but I think I must give up. I only have one more commitment before I leave. Tomorrow,I appear on your favorite show,Ja Pense.

Taylor: Wait.Ja Pense is coming to Newport?

Ryan: What is Ja Pense?

Taylor: It's this literary talk show. It's kind of like a French Charlie Rose,but with less interrupting.

Henri-Michel: They wish to do a field piece on the city that gave birth to Peaches. They asked if you would appear...

Taylor: Oh,no,no,Henri,I said the last time was my farewell appearance.

Ryan: The last time? You used to go on a French talk show?

Taylor: Just a handful of times,though. My favorite had to be that one roundtable we had Anäis Nin's bisexuality. Things got heat-ed.

Henri-Michel: Oh,that reminds me,my publisher want to do a translation of Nin's erotic poetry. Of course,I recommended you.

Taylor: You... Me? Seriously?

Henri-Michel: Of course. Don't you think Taylor would be an inspired choice?

Ryan: I don't,I don't know... Nin's poetry.

Henri-Michel: People say it's p*rn. but it is really just deeply,deeply sexual. And Taylor understands Nin like no other. What was that poem you translated to amuse yourself?

Taylor: Oh,mm. "And the day came "where the risk remained tight "in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. " C'est tres beau,{a.

Ryan: Well,I'm exhausted. Uh,would you give Taylor a ride home?

Henri-Michel: Great.Good night.

Taylor: Ryan?

***

Taylor: Ryan! Wait! Ryan,what's wrong?

Ryan: Nothing. It's just,we've been in there four hours. First course,second course,cheese course...

Taylor: And you couldn't stop imagining it,right? Me with him,page 47. Ryan,I thought you said you were okay with this?

Ryan: I guess I'm not. I'm sorry.

Taylor: Ryan... Ryan!

At Cohen's - In the kitchen

Sandy: I'm gonna be in court all day,so don't bother holding any of those shrimp tacos for me. Tell me you are not reading that book about Taylor. French philosophy at 7:00 in the morning.

Ryan: Okay,I'll bite. I read the book,Taylor's book.

Sandy: So you must be feeling...

Ryan: I'm not freaked out.

Sandy: Even page 47?

Ryan: No,no,I mean,I was,right? But then,uh,last night we,uh,we went out with her ex. And you know,it was all art and philosophy and how she used to go on that French talk show. And you know that part in the book where she goes out to dinner with Jacques Chirac? That's actually true.

Sandy; Oh,so you're thinking "How can this kid from Chino be hanging out with that crowd?"

Ryan: Pretty much.

Sandy: Well,listen,I don't know anything about the world of French intellectuals, but I do know Taylor Townsend,and seems to me,she thinks you are pretty terrific. So just talk to her. Or you can sit here,reading your Sartre.

Ryan: I'll talk to her.

Sandy: Good. Hey,you know who else the French love? Jerry Lewis.

Ryan: Really?

Sandy: Hey,lady! G'bye!

At Roberts'

Julie: Hey,babe,how was your date last night?

Kaitlin: I already told you,it wasn't a date.

Julie: Why not?Will seems nice and very cute.

Kaitlin: He is,he's a major dork.

Julie: You like him.

Kaitlin: No,I don't.

Julie: Oh,my God,you really,really like him.

Kaitlin: Oh,my God!No,I don't.

Julie: You think he's dorkalicious.

Kaitlin: Stop it.

Julie: You want his big dorky arms wrapped around you while he gives you big dorky kisses.

Kaitlin: Mom,I'm your child.

Julie: Sorry.

Kaitlin: And even if I did like him,which I don't,it doesn't matter 'cause I screwed up,and he doesn't like me anyway.

Julie: Whatever it is you did,I'm sure you'll fix it. At the very least,you have to try.

Kaitlin: What are you doing,anyway?

Julie: My cell phone wasn't at the office.

Kaitlin: So you think it's in the frying pan?

Julie: I've checked everywhere else,and I just really need it,okay?

Kaitlin: Okay.

At Cohen's

Kirsten: Oh,hello,I'm calling for Julie Cooper. I'm just confirming the details of your date tonight. That's right,Four Seasons,room 321. Oh,I'm sorry,Mrs.Jacobson.8:00 isn't going to work. We're going to have to reschedule. Thank you.

At Roberts' - In Taylor's bedroom

Ryan: Taylor?

Taylor: You don't want to come in here,Ryan. I'm reenacting page 112.

Ryan: Look,I'm sorry,okay?I... I wasn't freaked out about the sex,just so you know. It was the,uh,you know,all those people you were talking about,the writers,the philosophers,people I never even heard of. I just thought it was out of our league. I just,I didn't grow up going to the opera or reading French poetry.

Taylor: Ryan,you're just as smart as Henri-Michel,and I don't want you to be anyone else than who you are.

Ryan: Thank you.

Taylor: God,I wish I hadn't said yes.

Ryan: What?What did you say yes to?

Taylor: I agreed to go on Ja Pense tonight. You know,I can cancel it.

Ryan: No,no,look,I want you to be who you are. In fact,I'd like to come.

Taylor: Uh,okay.

Ryan: Yeah?

Taylor: Yeah,sure.

Ryan: Now,I have a few minutes before I have to get to work. And all that talk about page 112...

Taylor: Kaitlin's right downstairs.

Ryan: I know,but my impression of the vicar's very quiet. It's really,you won't even hear it.

Taylor: Really?Really? No.Don't,don't!

Seattle

Seth: So what was the deal with that unicorn?

Neil: It seems the guy dressed his horse up as a unicorn for his daughter's birthday, and things went terribly awry,but it taught us all about the value of family.

Seth: And speaking of family,have you decided to bless our sacred union?

Neil: I've thought about your proposal,Seth,and seriously,I can't. It's not because I dislike you,Seth,but I don't think that you really appreciate Summer.

Seth: What?

Neil: No.

Seth: Look,Dr.Roberts,with all due respect,uh, you have a lot of grounds with which to object to this admittedly harebrained idea, but if there's one thing that is undeniable,it's that I appreciate your daughter.

Neil: As you made very clear yesterday when you called her "kind of cool and easy on the eyes. You got to do better than that.

Seth: Well,she's hilarious,for one,and my favorite thing in the world is to make her laugh because she has a crazy honk of a laugh I think Nelson from The Simpsons... She does have a contagious laugh. Yeah,stop me before I say that she makes me a better man,but she makes me more of a man. Certainly less of a boy. I love every minute I spend with your daughter,sir.I really do.

Neil: So this wasn't some goof. You really want to spend the rest of your life with her?

Seth: I do,seriously.

Neil: Then come talk to me after you finish college and you got a chance at supporting her. Got to go. Have a safe flight.

At Roberts'

Holly: So Brent and I were,like,we don't want to k*ll any endangered owls that live under our deck, but I really want a Jacuzzi.

Summer: Oh,girl,you got to get your hot tub,right,huh? Owls... What,are you supposed to be,my conscience?

Che: Maybe. Is this what you really want?

Summer: Yes,it is.

Lisa: Uh-oh,someone's had too much champy. Summer's talking to herself.

Holly: Well,I know exactly what will snap her out of it.

Lisa: Oh,my God,your dress!

Holly: I know. I thought you could try it on. I was really anorexic when I wore it,not to brag.

Summer: Oh,good for you.

Holly: Here.

Summer: Thanks. You'd better not watch me change.

At the TV show

Man: Hi So,you're the friend Mademoiselle Townsend?

Ryan: Uh,yes,yes.What's happening?

Man: They started out talking about The Season For Peaches, and now somehow,they are into Existentialism of the 21st century, the responsibility of the post-colonial age,Johnny Depp. amazing.

Ryan: I like it,and I think it looks good.

At Robert's - Summer's bedroom

Che: Well,as far as presents go,it's very beautiful.

Summer: Look,Seth is asking my dad,okay? This wedding is happening,so I need to make the best of it. Will you please stop trying to rescue me?

Che: The only person who can save you,Summer,is you.

Girl: Okay,A) you look ten times better than Holly; B) don't tell her that, and C) we have the most rocked-out idea for your ringbearer.

Summer: Who's my ringbearer?

Girl: Cute little bunny.

Summer: Pancakes!

Holly: Check it,Summer. We just realized that we can totally dye your bunny pink so that he'll match the bridesmaid's dresses. Isn't that so adorable,you just want to k*ll yourself? We're just gonna do a test run right now,aren't we,Rumples?Yes,we are! Okay...

Summer: Pancakes! His name is Pancakes.

Holly: Bitch,what's wrong?

Summer: Everything!

At the TV show

Man: Good night. Je Pense!

Ryan: You were amazing.

Taylor: Thank you. Okay,I'm gonna go say good-bye,then I'll be right back.

Ryan: Okay,all right.

Taylor: Okay.

Henri-Michel: And Ryan,what did you think?

Ryan: I thought you guys were great,not that I understood a word of it.

Henri-Michel: We're going to celebrate with some Pinot Noir,and I would love to pick your brain on David Hume.

Ryan: Sounds great.Who's David Hume?

Henri-Michel: Good question. I'm sure you ask yourself this every day. Last night after you left,Taylor told me of your studies, the series of articles you wrote on the origins of skepticism. For the Vienna Journal? Maybe one day they will be expounded into a book. After I heard about your research,traveling to Humes' personal archives in Edinburgh,even I was impressed.

Ryan: I'm sure you were

***

Man: I'm gonna to try it.

Taylor: Yeah.

Ryan: Can I talk to you a second?

Taylor: Yeah. Excuse me. Thank you.I couldn't get out of there.

Ryan: Why did you tell him I was writing a book?

Taylor: What?

Ryan: You couldn't tell him the truth,that I work in a Mexican restaurant?

Taylor: Okay,Ryan,what did you expect me to do? Because you said about three words all night and then you just ran away. Henri asked me if you were on medication.

Ryan: Oh,so now you care about his opinion?

Taylor: Yes.Yes,I do. Because I could see him sitting there judging you and I hated it. I just wanted him to know how smart you were. And maybe it was the wrong thing to do,but the story just kind of came spilling out of me.

Ryan: All right,okay,you lied to make me look good- I get that- but the thing is,I think part of you wishes it were true.

Taylor: No,Ryan,please,I just want you to be yourself.

Ryan: Taylor... I don't know,I... I think this is what we've known from the beginning.

Taylor: What?What's that?

Ryan: We're different.

Taylor: So what?Everyone's different. It's what makes the world beautiful. Right? Okay,Ryan,I'm sorry. What do you want me to do to make it better?

Ryan: I think I should go.

Motel

Man: Ms.Jacobson?

At Roberts'

Julie: Hello? Spencer. No,I didn't get any of your messages. My cell phone's been MIA for two days now. I'm retracing my steps. What do you mean Mrs.Jacobson got canceled on? What...what partner? Oh,my God.

Motel

Man: Good champagne. Sure you don't want any?

Kirsten: Uh,no,thank you.

Man: Well... shall we get down to business?

Kirsten: Uh,actually,Ken... I'm new at this. Could you walk me through it?

Man: Step one: you put the money on the night stand. Step two: we get nasty. Or nice,depending on your taste. I thought Julie told you all the rules.

Kirsten: She did. I just thought... Would you excuse me?I,uh.. I left some toys in-in-in my car. I'll be right back.

Man: Toys? Sweet.

Harbour

Will: Hey,man,that looks good on you.

Man: I like the red one.

Will: Trust me,that's a woman's coat.

Kaitlin: Hey. I just came to clear a few things up. I like you,okay?

Will: Okay.

Kaitlin: Maybe I messed things up so you can't like me back. But I just wanted you to know that. You don't.

Will: No,no,I do,it's just...

Kaitlin: Stupid winter clothing drive.

Will: You may not know this,but there are homeless people that live in Newport.

Kaitlin: Really? Hi,Darryl. Hi,Bill.

Darryl: Hey,Kaitlin.

Bill: Hey,Kaitlin.

Will: Hey,what you do say I give you a call when I leave here?

Kaitlin: Okay. Just can't believe this winter clothing drive is salting my game.

At New Match Office

Julie: Kirsten,I can explain.

Kirsten: That you've been running a prostitution ring through our business.

Julie: It... it just...it just happened.

Kirsten: There are dozens of names here. Hercules,Commander Snake...

Julie: Kirsten,I am so sorry,but I promise...

Kirsten: I have known you a long time,Julie. This isn't just a matter of cloudy judgment and questionable morals. It's breaking federal law.

Julie: I understand. I do. And I deeply,deeply regret it,but if we just quit now,we can act like it never happened.

Kirsten: I wish I could. I want you out of here by Monday.

Julie: Kirsten,please.

Kirsten: I'm going to do you one more favor. I'm not going to call the police and I'm not going to tell Sandy. You're on your own.

At Roberts' - Summer's bedroom

Summer: Hello?

Che: Caterpillar,it's me.

Summer: You're calling me now? Look,I already sent them all home.Isn't that enough?

Che: What are you talking about?

Summer: Wait,where are you?

Che: I'm in my dorm room. Summer,I've been doing some out-of-body work. I had a vision of you surrounded by owls in a white dress, and Summer,the owls,they were crying for you.

Summer: God,I'm okay now. I just...kind of got engaged.

Che: That's amazing. I'll weave you guys something ASAP.

Summer: Jay,I'm so confused. I don't know what I want.

Che: Summer,in order for two halves to be whole,each half must be whole on its own. That is really true.

Che: I'm gonna sing you a song. * Moon,stars are above you... *

At Cohen's

Sandy: Oh,man sitting by himself in the dark. It's not a good sign. Are you okay?

Ryan: I've been better. I don't know what's going on with me and Taylor. I think maybe we're just too different.

Sandy: You said that like it's a bad thing. Look at Kirsten and me.

Ryan: Right. Well,you know,you guys have your own rhythm.

Sandy: Well,yeah,it took years to figure that out. I love Kirsten dearly,and-and... and still it gets complicated.

Ryan: So how do you know you know,whether you're good,different or just...

Sandy: From opposite planets?

Ryan: Right.

Sandy: At the end of the day,you either focus on what separates you or you focus on what holds you together. And it's up to you.

At Robert's - Summer's bedroom

Seth: Hey,stranger.

Summer: Hi. How was Seattle?

Seth: It was good,good.

Summer: Yeah?

Seth: Yeah.

Summer: How was my dad when you asked him? Cold,warm,lukewarm?

Seth: Well,he did not give us permission to get married,at least for the next few years.

Summer: damn.

Seth: Yeah. Okay,well,uh,here's,here's the deal. I went up there,knowing your dad would say no and that I could get out of this, but I realized I don't want out. I want in with you. forever,you know? So,I think we should stay engaged. It doesn't have to be today,but... someday.

Summer: Seth,I realized something,too,while you were gone. It turns out I have no idea who I am. In the past few months,I went from being a hard-core environmentalist to a Newpsie-wed in training.

Seth: You're a Newpsie?

Summer: For 48 hours. The point is,I don't think that you can be with someone until you can be with yourself. I think it's something I need to figure out.

Seth: Oh,that sounds like a...

Summer: I guess it's a no. I'm sorry.

Seth: Well,I think I'm gonna...

Summer: I'm going to see you tomorrow,okay?

Seth: Okay.

Summer: Hey... you should take this... because we might need it someday. Please,don't be sad,Peaches.

At the TV show

Henri-Michel: Taylor,I'm... What is it?

Taylor: Nothing.It's just...thought... Nothing...You know,it's getting late,Henri,so I should go.

Henri-Michel: Stay a little longer... please?

Taylor: Okay.

End of the episode.