4x03 - Cook

[bunniefuu]

[Day. In jail…]

Cook is in a dungeon, alone. A woman came to take Cook out.

Woman: James Cook. Your brief wants to meet you.

Cook: He any good?

Woman: Plead guilty. Right?

Cook enters in an other room.

The brief, Duncan: Right? (Making a sandwich) You wouldn’t feed this to a pig. Not even a pig you hated. Life is this. (Showing his sandwich) This. You get born, eat some processed crap, then you die.

Cook: Right. And you’re gonna get me off somewhere in-between, yeah?

Duncan: (Eating) Sit down. I’m your legal aid brief and, er, I’ll make sure you… Face the right way, say yes or no in the right order… And probably waste too much of everybody’s bloody time, basically. GBH… affray… Punch the f*ck out of… Shanky Jenkinson. Do you know him? Do you know Shanky?

Cook: No.

Duncan: Any particular reason?

Cook: I was provoked…

Duncan: By Shanky? (Cook says no with his head.) By who? Who? Who provoked you? (Cook looks around him.) No? (He writes on his paper: “James Cook. Possible moron.”) It’s your first offense. Plead guilty and, by the miracle of British justice you’ll get a bullshit Community Service Order.

Cook: Not guilty.

Duncan: James, you did punch the f*ck out of, er, Shanky in front of… 83 witnesses.

Cook says yes with his head. The brief erase “Possible” on his paper, to just put “Moron”.

[Day. At the court…]

Cook is judging.

Cook: Not guilty.

The judge: Pardon? Sorry. I thought you said “Not guilty” there.

Duncan: (Gets up) Yeah… Yeah, he is, pleading not guilty.

The judge: Really?

Duncan: Really.

The judge: Right. Right. Well, trial for the 15th of this month at 10am. Remanded on bail with an electronic tagging order. And Duncan?

Duncan: Yeah.

The judge: Really looking forward to hearing you defend this one. (He laughs)

After. Cook gets the electronic tagging order up his foot.

Cook: Yeah, it’s too tight, man.

Man: Good. Just checking.

Woman: Every day, between the hours of 7pm and 7am, you’ve got to be in your house. Right? Or it goes off.

Cook: I haven’t got a house.

Woman: It says here you’ll be staying with a Miss Ruth Byatt.

Cook: What?! I ain’t staying with her. No way!

Man: Yes, you are. Otherwise, bleep, bleep, we’ll arrest you, bang you up, and probably bang you about a bit while we’re doing it.

Woman: He’s joking.

He goes outside and sees his mother.

Cook’s mom, Ruth: (To Policemen) And he said, “Is that what you call a broom handle?”

They laugh.

Woman: Miss Byatt?

Cook: Mum.

Ruth: Hello, Jimmy. How you been?

Cook: Nobody calls me Jimmy now, mum.

Ruth: Hello… Smelly.

The policemen and Ruth laugh.

[Day. In Cook’s mom’s house…]

Ruth and Cook get out of the car. She’s drinking into a bottle (of wine?).

Ruth: (To Cook, about his half-brother) He’s dying to see you. (They enter) Go on. Go on! (To her boyfriend) Right! I’m home! Where’s my little sex monkey?

Cook looks at his brother, playing at Guitar Hero.

Cook: Wet willy!

Paddy: (Jumping in his arms) Cook! (He laughs and fights with Cook) Nipple cr*pple! (They laugh and sit in the couch.) Mom says she forgives you and you can come back.

Cook: Yes. Yeah.

Paddy And we got pizza to celebrate.

Cook: Oh, yeah. That’s great, innit, bruv? Pizza.

[Day. In his bedroom…]

Cook is in his bed. He hears his mom sleeping with her boyfriend, Alex.

Ruth: Oh, f*ck me, you monkey! Oh, f*cking hell! (They continue to scream. Cook look at the clock, it’s nearly 7am) Oh, f*ck me! (He tries to take off his electronic tagging order but renounce) f*ck me, you monkey!

Cook gets up. A picture of him, Freddie and JJ is on the wall. He looks at it and at others when he was kid. He gets dress and finds a paper of Sophia in his pocket.

Cook: Wasn’t me. (He takes his phone and look at his contacts, Freddie and Effy) f*ck them.

He lets his phone fall down.

[Day. In the kitchen…]

Ruth and her boyfriend are eating pizzas. Cook comes in.

Ruth: Oh, here he is. Come and have some breakfast. Jimmy, this is Alex. He’s going to be doing a piece on me.

Alex: (To Cook) Your mother is a genius. The greatest conceptual artist since Duchamp.

Ruth: He’s going to be doing me all week.

Cook: Great.

Ruth: Jimmy’s a criminal. But we’re forgiving him.

Alex: Ruth says you’re her greatest creation. A walking conceptual installation. That’s cool, man. But all your work’s mesmerising. I mean, look at this. (Gets up and look at a picture on the wall showing tits) Composition, confluence, concept, wow!

Cook: Mum, whose tits are those?

Ruth: Don’t be silly! Can’t you tell?

Alex: (Puts his hand up) It’s tactile, you know? Yeah. You just want to touch them… You just want to come on them!

He continues to eat his pizza.

[Day. In the street…]

Cook is walking with his half-brother, eating at the same time.

Paddy: Will you go to prison?

Cook: I might.

Paddy: But if you say sorry, won’t they let you go?

Cook: I’m not sorry.

Paddy: Why not?

Cook: Never say sorry, kid.

Paddy: Why?

Cook: Because you’re not a p*ssy, are you?

Paddy: No.

Cook: We don’t play their game, do we? We don’t play anyone’s game.

Paddy: Except for Rock Band. We can play that.

Cook: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can play that. (About food) Finished?

Paddy: Yeah. (Cook let the food down. His brother laughs) You’re barmy!

They arrive in front of the school.

Cook: Cor, this is posh.

Paddy: It’s rubbish!

Cook: Who’s giving you sh*t, then, dude?

Paddy: (Showing with his hand) Him. Erm… him and him. No, not him, he’s nice. Him, he kicked me in the balls twice.

Cook: (To the boys) Lads! (Saying no with his head. To his brother) Right, in.

Paddy: But I want to hang out with you.

Cook: In! I’m gonna be enjoying my freedom.

Paddy: Doing what?

Cook: I’m going to have a white riot! Touch me.

They punch their hands with each other hand. Cook’s brother runs to go in his school. Cook looks at him.

[Day. At the Roundview College…]

Freddie is playing baby foot against JJ and black guy. JJ is going to win.

The Black Guy: Oh, yes!

Him and JJ punch their hands, make jokes about Freddie.

Freddie: Look, you can not spin it. You’re not allowed to spin it. (The Black guy and JJ are laughing.) Anyway, it was two against one, you wankers.

JJ: (Looking at Pandora) Hey! Do you think we should go cheer her up?

Freddie: How do you except to do that, J? Her boyfriend’s just cheated on her with the hottest of the hot, mate.

JJ: Yup. Andrea is maximo hot. I think about her sometimes. When I’m in bed. When I’m cosy. Just before I go to sleep. Sorry! Ok, I’m back. Right.

Freddie and JJ sit down next to Pandora. They look at her. Freddie puts his hand on her thigh.

Freddie: You’re all right, Panda Pops?

Pandora: Not really.

JJ: You know, love’s thoroughly over-rated, Panda. I’ve never been had a girlfriend and look how happy I am. In between minor psychological breakdowns. Sure, all the serotonin, endorphins and sex, et cetera, feel good. But really, “love” is an illusion. (Pandora starts crying) It can’t last. Nope.

Freddie: (Looking at JJ) Nicely done.

In the corridor, just next to the room where they all are, Cook looks at Effy next to the lockers. She walks away, and goes see Freddie and kiss him. Cook looks at them. He comes into the room.

Cook: Well, howdy-f*cking-doody.

Effy: Hi, Cook.

Cook: I just swarmed by, really, to see how deep everyone’s rolling. See who’s up or a pint and a poke? JJ? Panda?

JJ: (Panda says no with her head.) No, thanks.

Cook: No? Why?

JJ: Just don’t want to.

Cook: Naomi, what about you? Bring your lady, make it a threesome. (Naomi says no with her head.) What’s up with you two? (Naomi and Emily don’t look at each other.) Black guy? Anyone? (Freddie gets up.)

Pandora: Aren’t you scared, Cooky?

Cook: Of what?

Pandora: Of going to the blimmin’ chokey!

Cook says no with his head.

Freddie: (Next to Effy, with his arm on her neck) We’ll come.

Cook: Nah, you’re all right. (Looking at JJ’s face) What happened to you?

JJ: You don’t remember?

Cook: No, remember what? Who f*cked you?

Headmaster: (Arriving) Ah. Finally. The famous Mr Cook. Hi, Dave. Dave Blood. We have met before, in fact, but take my card. (Puts his card into Cook’s pocket) We should powwow.

Cook: What?

Headmaster: I can see that this college has failed you, Mr Cook. And I am deeply sorry. But that is ten years of willy-nilly policy and red tape nonsensery for you. So unfortunately, since you’ve been implicated, as it were, by the law, you have been automatically… expelled. Expunged. Excommunicated. And I’m going to have to ask you to… scoot off.

Cook: Or what?

Headmaster: Well, or Jonathan here will escort you with, er, you know, extreme prejudice.

Cook: Dude… Jonathan can kiss my arse. Unless he’s tired of licking yours, that is. Jonathan?

Headmaster: Yes, that is tremendously amusing. Nevertheless, you are going to have to abrogate and egress from the premises.

Cook: (To Jonathan) Don’t touch me.

Jonathan: This way.

Cook: (Jonathan takes his arms) Get your f*cking hands off, p*ssy!

Jonathan: Come on!

The headmaster takes a bottle of gaze and put it in his eyes. Cook screams.

Effy: What the f*ck are you doing?!

JJ and a lot of students get up, choked.

Headmaster: It’s an incident, certainly. Reasonable force utilised in self-defence. Defence. Luckily, it’s all over now and, er, you can all go back to normal. Good morning.

He goes out.

Freddie: Cook, are you all right?!

Cook: f*ck off, you!

JJ and Freddie look at each other. Cook is hurting in the corridor, he shows his finger to Jonathan, who left him alone. He tries to look at something, and see picture of Sophia with candles.

[Day. In front of Naomi’s home…]

Naomi takes her rubbish out. Cook is in her street. They see each other, and walk to talk.

Naomi: When did you get so sorry for yourself, Cook?

Cook: Hun?

Naomi: We can talk about her. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? We gave that girl Sophia dr*gs.

Cook: I didn’t give her nothing.

Naomi: And I had an affair with her as well.

Cook: What?

Naomi: And now she’s dead. That’s why you’re here. You feel bad.

Cook: f*ck off! I just come around to see if you wanted that non-lezza willy waggle. That’s all.

Naomi: Yeah, right. Do you want to know how I feel? I feel f*cking terrible. My girlfriend won’t look at me. I could cry every minute. I feel sh*t and all I can do is… feel it. (Cook starts to walk away.) Deal with it!

She comes back to her house. Cook looks back.

Cook: (Smiling) Waggle me!

[Day. In Duncan’s office…]

Cook is playing with a ball in the room next to Duncan’s office. Duncan opens the door after Cook made a lot of noise.

Duncan: Yes?

Cook: (Still playing with the ball.) Come to see how my case is going, Duncan.

Duncan: You haven’t got a case.

Cook: That’s a matter of opinion, that is, mate. Matter of opinion.

Cook enters into the office. Duncan closes the door, and then sits down. Cook sits in front of him.

Duncan: Well… In summary, you’ve got about as much chance of getting off as I have of blagging a shag with Angelina Jolie.

Cook: Well, lose the moustache, then, probably.

Duncan: It’s just not happening, kid. To use legal terminology, you’re guilty as f*ck.

Cook: Yeah, my mum says I should get a proper lawyer. (Duncan takes a spliff) What? You don’t care?

Duncan: No. I really, really don’t. You see, I get paid anyway.

Cook: She’s filthy rich, man. She’s famous.

Duncan: Yeah?

Cook: Yeah.

Duncan: Lucky you. (Starts smoking)

Cook: Look, Duncan, stuff’s happened to me, man. You should know about this. You should be out there telling them all the sh*t that’s gone down in my life. Duncan, are you smoking a number?

Duncan: You got a problem?

Cook: Yeah, problem! You’re taking the f*cking piss! Doesn’t anyone owe me anything here? Don’t I get a hearing, no?!

Duncan: You put a kid in hospital. Remember? What’s your excuse?

Cook: People. People f*cked me up, man.

Duncan: Well, go tell that to a judge. (Gets up) “Mummy f*cked me up.”

Cook: (Jumping out his chair and takes Duncan by his shirt.) Don’t f*cking speak about my mother! You don’t talk about her, all right?!

Duncan: I’m not. You are.

Cook: Proper sh*t, aren’t yeah? (Make a chair fall down) Proper f*cking sh*t, aren’t yeah?

Cook gets out. Duncan continues to smoke.

[Day. In the street, then at the work of Ruth…]

Cook walks in the street, and finishes to smoke. He enters into the enterprise of his mother. He sees a kind of paper “All my cocks” and all the names of guys his mother slept with.

Ruth: What do you think?

Cook: Is it true?

Ruth: Jimmy, art is always true.

Cook: Why did you leave my dad?

Ruth: Because he was a twat. Agreed? He was entertaining. Good in bed. Didn’t give a flying f*ck for anyone or anything. Ultimately it just gets on your tits. Bit boring.

Cook: Is that why you threw me out?

Ruth: You sold my wedding rings to buy dope. You wanted me to throw you out. Didn’t you? But hey, that’s over. (Smiling) You’ve come to see my work. I love that. And look. I’m hot! Aren’t you proud of what I’ve done?

Alex: (Coming, about one of her work) Oh, my God! Ruth! This is… I am totally engaged!

Ruth: (To Cook) Come and see the masterpiece. It’s going to make Damien Hirst want to cut his cock off and pickle it. (To Alex) Lights, Darling.

Cook: (Looking at “All my cocks”) What? (Sees there is Freddie McClair, his best friend.)

Alex: (About her new work) I want to strip naked, it’s so good.

Ruth: Yes, it is. Thank you.

Cooks looks at his mom.

Alex: It’s real, you know. So, so real.

Ruth: What do you reckon kidder? Has the girl done good?

Cook walks away, but his foot takes the cable and breaks his mom’s work.

Ruth: You little sh*t! You did that on purpose.

Cook: No!

Ruth: You smart bastard! Don’t you think I know?! Get out! (Try to bit Cook) Go on, get out!

He gets out of the room, in the street, and chuck on the floor.

[Day. In Shanky’s home…]

Cook comes to Shanky’s house and ring at the door. A woman opens the door.

Cook: Yeah, is Shanky in, please?

Woman: Shanky! Friend!

Shanky arrives at the door.

Cook: Yeah, Shanky. You Shanky, yeah? Look… This is weird. Look, I didn’t… I’ve come round to say sorry, well, you know, like… It wasn’t your fault, d’you know, like. See, there’s going to send me down, so if you could say anything like, I don’t know, how I came over and said sorry. I am sorry, mate. You know?

Shanky: I hope they get you in the showers and f*ck you up the arse.

He closes the door, angry. Cook looks at the door for a moment.

[Day. In Cook’s mother’s house…]

Cook had run and breathes hardly. He comes in and sees Freddie sit on the couch.

Freddie: Mate, listen. Thank Christ, you’re here. Your mum’s on one, again. I’ve just come round…

Cook: (Pissed off by Freddie) Yeah? I want to talk to you.

Ruth: (Comes behind Cook) Well, look who it is. The man who’s just cost me ninety thousand quid. Hello, you sweet little turd.

Cook: Mum?

Ruth: That’s right, still your mum. And… yep.

Cook: Where’s Paddy?

Ruth: Oh, he’s gone to see that friend. What’s his name…? Never mind. Look who’s here. Freddie! Freddie, Freddie. Long time no see, Freddie!

Cook: What do you want, man?

Freddie: I came to see if you’re all right, if that’s Ok.

Cook: Yeah, I’m fine! Mm-hm. Tipsy-topsy!

Ruth: Well, I’m glad that someone is. Because we’ve got a… Hey, now we can have a proper party, can’t we?

After. Freddie and Cook are sitting. Ruth is dancing, singing with music very loud and playing to Guitar Hero.

Ruth: Come on, what’s the matter with you?! Sitting on your fat arses.

Cook: Mum!

Ruth: What’s the f*cking matter with you?! Come on! What’s wrong with you?! We’re all f*cking… adults…

She falls down on the floor. Freddie stops the music.

Freddie: She hasn’t changed, then.

[Day. In Cook’s bedroom…]

After. Cook and Freddie are in an other room, looking at each other.

Freddie: Your 15th birthday party.

Cook: What?! Where was I?

Freddie: Drunk. You had six coconut daiquiris. And anyway, I was last man standing, and I was still f*cked off my head.

Cook: So you f*cked my mum?!

Freddie: It wasn’t like that!

Cook: Well, tell me, Fred. What the f*ck was it like? Hang on. No, don’t answer that sh*t.

Freddie: It was just a blow job.

Cook: Oh! What a relief, man! Thank goodness!

Freddie: I’ll make it up to you.

Cook: How are you going to do that, Freddie? I let you take the one f*cking girl I’ve ever loved, man. Is there anyone else I care about that you want to slip one to, mate?

Freddie: I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Cook: It’s fine. Sorted. Everything’s cool.

Freddie: Effy loves me. How can I…

Cook: Stop talking about it!

Freddie: You smashed JJ, Cook.

Cook: I… I didn’t.

Freddie: (Says yes with his head) He loves you, Cook. Well, that’s all. (Starts to walk and stops near to the door) And I love you too. Whatever you’re doing, you can stop. All you got to do is stop.

Freddie goes out and closes the door. Cook breathes hardly and takes off his shirt. He sits down, and looks at pictures of Effy on his phone. He cries.

[Day. In the living room…]

A policeman takes back Paddy, Cook’s brother. Cook is in the stairs, listening.

Policeman: And I don’t want to see you again. Understand?

Ruth: I thought he was with his friends.

Policeman: He was. Just not in a good way. You want to speak to him.

Ruth: I will. I’m going to. Don’t you worry.

Policeman: Ok. If I hear about you again… Anyway. Good evening.

Ruth: Good evening.

Paddy enters.

Cook: (To Paddy) What did you do?

Paddy: Me and Paul drank six Red Bulls reach, we farted in a lift, we swam in a fountain, stole bras from M&S and we started a fire on College Green and all the filth showed up.

Cook: Daft little boot, you are. What d’you do that for?

Paddy: Because I’m not a p*ssy.

Ruth: (Screaming and breaking the guitar and television) Every time I try and do something for this family!

Paddy: Mum!

Ruth: See?! That’s what you get! All right?! (To Cook) Everything’s go wrong since you’ve come back. You’re like an infection! (Cook starts to go away.) Go on, that’s right! You all bugger off in the end. (He takes his jacket and Paddy, and goes outside.) That’s right, just go on! Go on! Just bugger off! (Closes the door)

Cook takes the car and drives to go away with his brother.

[Day. In the street, on the road…]

Cook drives with his brother. He lets Paddy drive too.

Cook: Keep it steady.

They spend their day in the car to laugh.

Paddy: Ah! Get off!

Cook: Go on, mate! Go on, kid!

Cook lets Paddy in the car to drive and make a lot of smoke around. They take stuff to break the car, hit it with rock.

After. They are laying down on the hood of the car. Cook smokes a spliff and gives it to Paddy. Paddy coughs.

Cook: Take it easy. I f*cking love you, Pads, you hear me, yeah? (Kisses him on the head) It’s just you and me, mate. No one else understands.

Paddy: Yeah. f*ck everybody! f*ck mum! f*ck everybody! (Hitting the car with his foot) Everybody else is a f*cking tosser! A f*cking tosser! A f*cking tosser, I hate them!

[Day. In Naomi’s home…]

Naomi is sitting in her bed next to Emily, looking at her. Her phone rings. She gets up.

Cook: Ey up. Look out your window. (She opens her window. Cook is carrying Paddy on his back.) Looking good. (Laughing)

Naomi puts Paddy on the couch and gives him a blanket. She goes in her garden with Cook, sitting, drinking and smoking spliff.

Naomi: We didn’t k*ll her, you know. She k*lled herself. It doesn’t help, though. I still spend every day feeling like I want to puke.

Cook: How’s Emily?

Naomi: Angry. So… Lonely. It all means so much to you, doesn’t it?

Cook: What?

Naomi: Life. You just live a bit harder than everybody else does. You splash about. You wallow in it. Like you can’t lose a moment.

Cook: Yeah, I’m well hard. (They look at each other. She kisses him on the cheek. Then, they kiss each other.) The thing is, Naomi, you splash about, other people get wet. I don’t give a f*ck or anything, it’s just… You get a bit… You know. (They smile. Naomi puts her head on Cook’s shoulder.) f*ck’s sake! I’m never going to get to bone you, am I?

Naomi: No. I love someone.

Cook: You and me both, girl. You and me both.

[Day. In Duncan’s office…]

Duncan arrives with his bike in his arms. He sees that his office is already occupied and sees Cook waiting for him.

Duncan: Lot of people looking for you. Where’s your brother?

Cook: Friend’s house. He’s sleeping.

Duncan: Got to give him back.

Cook: I know.

Duncan: I’d, er, I’d probably get another lawyer, if I were you. Because I’m pretty f*cking sh*t all round, you know.

Cook: Yeah, you’re sh*t. But you’re my sh*t, ok?

Duncan: I’m the only defence lawyer I know with a 100% conviction rate.

Cook: Oh, jeez.

Duncan: They’re going to put you in jail, James. (Cook sits.) What’s eating you? What are you rebelling against?

Cook: What have you got?

Duncan: There you go, you see. You’re too f*cking smart for most people. They don’t even know you’re quoting Marlon Brondo. Do they?

Cook: You’re pretty sharp yourself, for a sh*t lawyer.

Duncan: Well, it’s easier, ain’t it? Blaming all your sh*t on everyone else. Well, come on, then, why don’t you tell me something you have done? That you did… all by your shitty little self.

Cook: Last year, I stole my best friend’s girlfriend just because I could. Then I f*cked her mate, best mate, multiple times, man, just because I could.

Duncan: It’s chicken feed, James. What is this? Oprah? Tell me something f*cking worthwhile! Come on, you d*ck.

Cook: Just wanted to f*cking cr*ck someone.

Duncan: Right.

Cook: He just… Freddie, man. I couldn’t stand the way she was f*cking looking at him. And I was thinking, why does everybody get to piss on me? Everybody always f*cking pisses on me. My f*cking mum. My dad is a f*cking tosser. And no one gives a sh*t! Everybody’s just out for them-f*cking-selves!

Duncan: Ah, grow up.

Cook: They won’t give a sh*t.

Duncan: So f*cking what?!

Cook: (Jumps of his chair) So I f*cking smashed the sh*t out of that kid! I f*cking kicked the sh*t out of him and I f*cking enjoyed it! I enjoyed it, ok?

Duncan: Ok. That’s pretty good.

Cook cries, gets up and looks at the window.

Cook: Duncan?

Duncan: Yeah, kid?

Cook: There’s something else. The kid was pestering me, man.

[Day. In the inspector’s office…]

Cook tells to the inspectors that he gave Sophia dr*gs all by himself.

Cook: She kept on asking me for MDMA.

Woman: Sophia?

Cook: Yeah. Yeah. So eventually, you know, I just… I just gave her some just to shut her up more than anything. Then, I didn’t see her again until she fell off the balcony.

Woman: Do you want a lawyer here, James?

Cook: No. It’s fine. He knows what I’m telling you.

Man: And nobody else was involved?

Cook: Nope, nobody but me.

Cook is taken and put in a dungeon. Some time later, he’s called for visits.

[Day. In jail…]

In the room where are the visitors, Effy is waiting for Cook. He sees her and sits in front of her.

Effy: Been up too much?

Cook: Oh, you know.

Effy: I bet it’s all action. Ballroom dancing in the morning, followed by a gin rummy tournament and bumming in the showers.

Cook: Yeah, I can barely sit.

Effy: We’re coming to your trial thing tomorrow.

Cook: We?

Effy: Yeah. We. Freddie’s worried sick.

Cook: I bet he is. Probably scared I’m going to get off and steal his woman again.

Effy: I love him, Cook. That’s what I came to say.

Cook: How is the love?

Effy: It’s a bit of a head f*ck, to be honest. Not simple. I know you’d understand that. But I’m giving it a go. That’s what I always loved about you, Cook. Brave.

She gets up.

Cook: Eff’? Would you tell JJ… you know.

She says yes with her head and leaves.

[Day. At the court…]

Cook and Duncan are sitting next to each other. Duncan looks at his papers.

Cook: You care.

Duncan: I don’t.

Cook: Yeah. Good job this isn’t no win, no fee, otherwise you’d be f*cked.

They smiled. Effy, Freddie and JJ enter. Cook smiles at them.

Man: James Cook.

Cook gets up.

Paddy: (Running to Cook) Cook! Cook! (Man stops him.) No! Let go! (Jump in Cook’s arms) Cook!

Cook: What are you doing here?

Paddy: I bunked off school. I don’t give a sh*t. I want to watch!

Cook: Listen! Be a big man for me, ok? I need you to sit there for us and wait. You can’t come in.

Freddie takes Paddy.

Freddie: Come and sit over there.

Paddy: Tell them to piss off! Tell them you didn’t do anything!

Cook comes into the room with Duncan. Effy, Freddie, Paddy and JJ are waiting in the corridor, worried. James is interrogating by the judge in the other room.

The judge: And how do you plead?

Cook: Guilty.

The judge: Mr Cook, you’ve wasted a lot of our time, and bail has been a disaster. Your mother says she’s unable to control your behaviour and she’s unwilling to accept you back into the family home. Do you understand?

Cook: Yes.

The judge: So I’m afraid a custodial sentence is inevitable. In any case, I’m told there may be other charges. However, since you wisely changed your plea, we’re going to remand you into custody for reports. You should expect to be there for several months. And James, while you’re there, I strongly advice you to behave yourself. Sentence set for two weeks from today. Take him down.

Two policemen take him outside. His friends look at him.

Paddy: (Taking his hand) Cook! What’s happening? What’s happening, Cook?! Tell them to piss off! Cook!

Freddie takes Paddy. Effy and Cook look at each other during Cook is taken away.