04x17 - Queen of Hearts

[bunniefuu]

At Ellie’s house, Ellie is rushing around trying to get ready for school and drinks something gross and spits it out

Ellie: Think that’s funny Bueller? You think that’s funny? It’s not funny. No. No it’s not. See you tonight Little B. Bueller? Little B!

(There’s a knock at the door.)

Ellie: Mr. Martin.

Mr. Martin: Friday’s end of month Ellie. I need a check.

Ellie: I’m getting it tonight from my mom. You don’t have to worry sir.

Mr. Martin: Just like I didn’t have to worry last month when you were late with the rent.

Ellie: See I had the rent… I, I just didn’t know how to get it to you. Sean always did that.

Mr. Martin: Is he back yet?

Ellie: Sean’s not coming back sir.

(The lamp starts flashing and making weird noises.)

Mr. Martin: You forget to pay the electric bill too?

Ellie: Sometimes my ferret. I…

Mr. Martin: You got a ferret here?!

Ellie: I catch him chewing on electrical cords and…Bueller! Oh Bueller.

Outside the school

Marco: Ferret Bueller is dead?! That’s awful.

Craig: That’s terrible.

Alex: You named your ferret Bueller?

Jimmy: Alex, a heart! Try to find one!

Ellie: Bueller was Sean’s baby and since he’s been gone, things haven’t exactly been fun around the apartment.

Alex: Marco, partner? The game is euchre. Spades is up.

Marco: I’ll come over after school. We’ll have a ceremony. A ferret funeral.

Ellie: I’m meeting mom for dinner. An event promising to be as much fun as a ferret funeral.

Craig: And you can’t postpone? Death in the family. It’s a good excuse.

Ellie: Dinner + Mom = rent money.

Marco: I’ll come over after.

In a classroom

Matt: I’m looking for examples of media manipulation in say… television. (Paige and Hazel both raise their hands) Hazel.

Hazel: Well there’s video news releases. Companies create um stories on their product which are then shown as local news programs and the people watching have no idea where they came from.

In the hallway

Paige: Mr. O. Is there a reason you’re shy to call on me in class?

Matt: Hey I give equal time to every student.

Paige: In the classroom anyway.

Mr. Simpson: Good class Mr. Oleander!

Paige: New rule. Suggestive comments only to be delivered a bray Degrassi. Say at the Cine-Square? Tonight, back row. I’ve got free passes.

Matt: Isn’t it a school night?

Paige: Yeah I like school nights. There’s less chance of running into someone from school.

Manny: Paige.

Paige: Oh new uniforms! Finally.

Manny: Yeah there’s 3 boxes in the office we have to pick up.

Matt: Listen, Paige. Thanks for helping me with the uh bulletin board.

Paige: And Mr. Oleander uh thank you for um offering me help with that essay.

Manny: (under her breath as Paige leaves) So obvious.

In a restaurant, Ellie and her mom are sitting in silence

Mrs. Nash: Oh. It’s $500 right?

Ellie: Rent’s $540. Mom you could always give me a few post-dated checks.

Mrs. Nash: And miss my monthly dinner with my daughter?! How are you? Living alone.

Ellie: Good.

Mrs. Nash: I’m proud of you, being so independent. Living all by yourself. I’ve been in group for three months. I’m being therapied out the wazoo. Since you left I haven’t had a drink. If you want to move back I promise to keep that.

(Ellie stands up to leave.)

Mrs. Nash: Sit! I miss you all the time and I want to talk about this.

Ellie: Yeah I told Marco I’d meet him.

Mrs. Nash: I’m different.

Ellie: Understand why I don’t trust you on that one mom.

Mrs. Nash: Ellie…

Ellie: If you’re proud of me being independent. Watch me go one step further. After this month I won’t take any more of your money. I won’t need you mom. Not anymore.

At the funeral, Marco and Ellie are throwing rocks on the dirt

Ellie: Here lies Bueller Nash. I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you better… or longer! I’m just really sorry you’re gone.

At the movie theatre

Paige: I know this was my idea, but we have to go now.

Matt: Thought you wanted to sit in a dark theatre. Two hours plus previews.

Meeri: Paige! You don’t return phone calls?! The reject twins called in sick. You’re behind the counter.

Paige: But I’m off shift.

Meeri: Wanna make that permanent?

Matt: No she doesn’t.

Paige: Matt!

Matt: Paige. Your boss could have just as easily been Simpson. We could have just as easily been caught. See you tomorrow.

At Ellie’s house

Marco: No Sean. No Bueller. You sure you’re okay to stay alone?

Ellie: Say you’re offering. Please the only other person who wants to be with me right now: my mother!

Marco: I’m offering! No worries.

Ellie: I won’t. At least not about waking up to find you passed out with the house on fire. Mom flashback. Sorry.

Marco: Hey worry instead about playing Euchre, Ellie Nash.

Ellie: You want to play cards?

Marco: Dylan’s hockey team plays Thursdays, for money. A lot of money. My allowance only lasts like three hands.

Ellie: And you play why?

Marco: I repeat, Dylan’s hockey team.

(Ellie nods knowingly.)

Marco: Now. You deal out five cards each. What’s leftover goes in a pile. The top card turned up. That card’s Tr*mp. Now the jack of that suit is the highest. If you have an amazing hand you can go low, play without your partner. Worth two points. So…

Outside the school

Jimmy: Let’s go Del Rossi. Dealer has dealt. Hearts are Tr*mp.

Ellie: Meaning the jack of hearts is the highest card in the world.

Marco: Ellie speaks euchre now.

Craig: Hey Marco with your hair all big like that you kind of look like Ashley.

Marco: I was sans product this morning. (Turns to Ellie) And you said it looked fine!

Alex: Marco be gone. Ellie you’re in.

Ellie: I can’t take Marco’s place.

Marco: No. It’s okay. Sit. Dylan’s entire hockey team combined is less competitive than her.

Alex: The ace of spades is down.

Ellie: Meaning it’s their trick so far?

Craig: That’s the queen…of hearts. You sure you want to lead Tr*mp?

Ellie: Well I don’t have any spades and that’s my lowest heart.

Alex: I get a scatter proof partner only to stop for French class?

Jimmy: Oh well, Je suis up for skipping?!

Ellie: Where to?

In a classroom

Matt: Today I thought we’d talk about bias in the media. How the news sometimes twists the facts.

Hazel: You’re doing the nod of sleep. It’s not attractive.

Paige: Avert your eyes. Evil Meeri kept me for the late shift.

Matt: Paige, can you tell me how that’s different from outright lying?

Paige: To lie is to present a falsehood. Bias is telling the truth, just a version of the truth.

Matt: Good. (He leaves a note on her desk) Okay so back to why pop stars marry once they release a new CD.

In the janitor’s closet or boiler room

Paige: I’ve never had a teacher pass me a note before.

Matt: Look I know this place isn’t exactly romantic, but it seems like every time we try to get together there’s always something-

(The euchre group tries to open the door, but Matt runs and locks it.)

Ellie: There’s always the basement!

Paige: Matt that’s it. Tonight after work I come over!

Matt: Where at my place?

Paige: Yeah I want to see your private bohemian man-lair.

Matt: Paige you can’t.

Paige: I’m familiar with the student lifestyle. My brother, he shares one bathroom with twelve guys. At least you have a place of your own, with what a comfy couch, TV, DVD. Away from distractions…

Matt: No. There’s got to be something or someplace else. Look I’ll pop by the theatre and we’ll go out for coffee after work.

Paige: Matt…

Matt: Wait a bit before you leave. (He blows her a kiss as she shakes her head)

In the school basement

Craig: Okay. Fine. Rematch. Right now!

Ellie: That was the rematch.

Alex: Unless you want to make it more interesting?

Jimmy: As in uh strip euchre?

Alex: As in money. As in $20.

Craig: Okay.

Jimmy: Okay.

(They start playing again.)

Jimmy: And it’s clubs.

Ellie: Oh um one question, why do they call these bowers?

Craig: And we skipped French class for this! Come on. (Craig and Jimmy leave)

Alex: $10 each. Not real money, but it will buy cafeteria lunch.

Ellie: Wait, today’s Thursday right? I think I know where real money’s gonna be.

In the hallway

Ellie: Alex and I would like to play euchre with you and Dylan and Dylan’s hockey team.

Marco: If… if I hook you up, new players have to host the evening.

Ellie: I can host. Hostess whatever.

Marco: Which means buying pizza, playing 50, 60 dollar hands and losing the little money that you might have.

Alex: We have money. We do. Just not any money we plan to lose.

In the gymnasium

Manny: So Mr. O is cute.

Paige: And smart and funny with a tight little yoga body thrown in for fun.

Manny: But.

Paige: Big secret. The only place we can escape to where he and me can be a we, is his. He doesn’t want me going there.

Manny: It sounds to me then there’s not a lot of honesty going around.

Paige: Nobody can know about this Manny!

Manny: No. Not around the school. I mean between you and him. A guy like that, I’m surprised he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

Paige: Well he did have one, but they split.

Manny: And that’s what he told you?

At Ellie’s house

Alex: That’s my whole last pay check.

Ellie: Plus $10 from this morning.

Alex: It isn’t enough is it?

Ellie: $540. Otherwise known as my rent.

Alex: Let’s not use all of it.

Ellie: I like this. Playing this. Partner thing works for me.

Marco: Ellie the hockey team just got here and we’ve already gone through the pizzas.

Dylan: Let me introduce you to the team. They want to get started.

Alex: I’m Alex. This is Ellie, my friend. We’re here to defeat you.

(Montage of them all playing cards with the guys b*ating Alex & Ellie.)

Alex: We’re behind by a point. We have to take the next hit.

Ellie: And if we lose it?

Alex: Let me be the negative one, okay? It’s a bigger gamble, but James wants to put more money down. You alright with that?

Ellie: Move in.

Alex: Sure I’ll go get my things.

Ellie: I’m serious. Move in. It’d be cool.

Alex: Cool? Sure no mom, no mom’s boyfriend of the week, but then there’s this thing called rent.

Ellie: Only $270 a month. Each.

Alex: I can’t afford $2 a month.

Ellie: So I’ll pay more or I won’t tell my mom you’re living here. Its not like she comes around.

Alex: And this is the horrible woman you hate?

Ellie: It’d be great. It’d be fun. Right now I need fun.

Alex: Move to Wassaga with Sean if you’re lonely or suck it up and go home.

Ellie: My mom was drunk. Always drunk. Right up to the night she lit the house on fire.

Alex: But she’s sober now and paying your rent, all the time trying to make things right with you. Wow what a monster. The hockey boys are waiting. When you come back to the table leave the sucky girl behind.

At the movie theatre

Paige: (on her cell) Hi, customer service? Yes um I just wanted to make sure my phone’s working. Yeah I know I’m calling you on it, so it must be. Okay thanks. Bye. Five more seconds please Meeri!

Meeri: He stood you up didn’t he?

Paige: He’s not cheating on me if that’s what you think.

Meeri: I think that’s what you think.

At Ellie’s

Alex: Spades is Tr*mp. Pick it up. I’m going alone.

Ellie: What?

Hockey guy 1: You know you’re a point away from losing and us from winning?

Ellie: Um Alex can I talk to you?

Alex: We’ve been over the concept of going alone before. Talk to Marco. I’m sure he’ll clarify things again.

Marco: Are you 100% sure of your hand Alex?!

Alex: 1000. Relax. Here look at the pretty cards.

Hockey guy 2: It’s my leave right?

Ellie: Wait. That’s my rent money.

Alex: You’re bugging me Ellie.

Ellie: You know we’ll just forget this hand. Can I de-card?

Alex: Sit down.

Hockey guy 2: I lead with the ace of hearts.

Alex: Keep it. Don’t bother. 4 points. We win. You really ought to believe in people more.

At Matt’s apartment

Paige: Why aren’t you answering your phone?! Who is in there with you?

Matt: What are you doing here Paige? Don’t! Paige.

(She pushes past him and sees a really crappy apartment with a leaking ceiling.)

Matt: Guy upstairs flushed his toilet through my ceiling… for the third time this year. I would have called but they’ve cut off my service.

Paige: This is your apartment?

Matt: Yeah. You want the tour? We can begin and end in the foyer.

Paige: I thought you were with someone.

Matt: Is that the kind of guy you think I am?

Paige: I don’t know Matt. I see you in class or at the water fountain or at yoga, but beyond that!

(She sits down on his bed.)

Matt: That’s wet. The toilet’s above it. Look beyond that, I’m a student like you, except I live in a pit hole apartment. There! All the glamour this relationship ever had: gone!

Paige: You said relationship, which means I get to stay.

(They start kissing.)

At Ellie’s, there’s a knock at the door

Ellie: It’s open.

Mrs. Nash: It’s the middle of the night Ellie. There’s no emergency?

Ellie: I had to be sure of something.

Mrs. Nash: Sure of what?

Ellie: That you could come over. That you were sober. You weren’t drunk.

Mrs. Nash: You woke me as a test?!

Ellie: I wrote a letter to Mr. Martin. It says I’m giving two months notice.

Mrs. Nash: Oh so you’re coming home!

Ellie: I, I said I wrote it mom. I haven’t given it to him. Not yet.

Mrs. Nash: But you’re going to?

Ellie: No more drinking?

Mrs. Nash: The best I can do is try. Day by day. Try.

Ellie: Then promise me you’ll try and make it easy for me to trust you.

Mrs. Nash: Come home Ellie. I’m tired of being alone.

Ellie: Yeah. Me too.

Scenes for next week

Paige: (to the audience) Sneaking around sucks, but sometimes it’s worth it.

Paige: Yeah Simpson. Oh my god. He didn’t see us. No way!

Voiceover: As if that wasn’t bad enough.

Hazel: It’s a crush. No big thing.

Manny: You don’t have to lie. Paige told me all about her hot after school affair.

Voiceover: Now Paige has to worry about what her friends might say.

Hazel: (in class) Gee Mr. Oleander, I thought you only had eyes for Paige!