04x11 - Little Minnesota

[bunniefuu]

Ted, Marshall and Lily are in McClaren's when Robin joins them.

Robin: Hi!

Marshall: Hi.

Ted: It is freezing outside. Where is your jacket?

Robin: I'm Canadian. No need to coat. This kind of weather does not scare me.

Marshall: It looks like a spring day in Minnesota, there was no q'il all the taxis, the skyscrapers and the blacks.

Ted: There are no black people?

Marshall: Not if Prince is on tour.

GENERIC

Ted: my sister's plane arrived an hour ago, or would like a meteorologist, hurricane between Heather on Lands.

Lily: Go. It's not like that.

Ted: That's the history of Heather. It has been six years and three high schools for his baccalaureate. She took the opportunity to ruin two cars, being married for five days, and spent nine weeks in a tree only to find that no one intended to k*ll him. And there, Heather said she moved to New York.

Lily: Great news.

Ted: It will not come out. Remember when she talked of going to college here? And then the day of admission...

Flashback

Ted is in the apartment, the phone.

Ted: Where are my TV and my couch?

Woman: I have sold tickets for the concert of Nine Inch Nails.

Ted: Nothing but the TV is 2000 balls.

Woman: A last minute flight is expensive.

Ted: Wait. Where are you?

Woman: Somewhere in Spain. I go there. Quiet song.

End flashback

Ted: Damn. This is Barney.

Robin: And?

Lily: Since that time Heather happening in New York, Ted has never left the Barney show.

Ted: I never will. Every year, when the greeting card of Mosby happens...

Flashback

Christmas 2005...

Barney (singing): Drop your trousers. Mine hard. Under the bunch of mistletoe, I'll make your sister moan. Oh! Dear Heather, Heather dear, we'll do it in all directions...

Christmas 2006...

Barney: If I could see her naked. If I could see her naked. If I could see her naked. And fours.

Christmas 2007...

Barney: Ted has a little sister who is so playful every day. And if I meet with her breasts, I will play! Little sister, Little Sister!What? I can also celebrate Hanukkah.

End flashback

Ted: It's still him. I should answer. Hello, Barney.

Barney: Hi. What are you doing tonight?

Ted: We go to Marshall and Lily get a full Kathy Bates, Misery exception. Want to go? He hung up.

Ted's sister arrives and takes him in her arms.

Heather: It's nice to see you.

Ted: Hi kid. It looks to go. How are things at home?

Heather: I took your room. Did you know you see the room of Miss Gottwald opposite?

Ted: I know. She looks good?

Heather: Ted, it was 62 years.

Ted: Answer.

Heather: Incredibly gay. (They return to the apartment) Dude, quail out there.

Barney: Why, hello. I was expecting you.

Ted: One second. It is not our chair. You've made yourself?

Barney: I needed one that rotates.

Barney gets up and makes a hand-kissing Heather.

Ted: How did you know that Heather was coming?

Lily: Do not tell me anything! You know I can not keep secrets if it's almost Christmas! Robin offers you an iPod!

Barney: Can I talk to one second in the kitchen? Not touch the chair. I praise him. I can not believe that thou hast hid thy sister all these years.

Ted: Really? You're like "Weird Al" Yankovic to write that song on how to jump my sister.

Barney: First, I'm flattered. Then it's just jokes. A friend can joke on a friend's sister. Does not mean I'm going to act.

Ted: I love my sister, and as a big brother, it's my job to protect guys like you.

Barney: You do not trust me?

Ted: No. And it either.

Barney: Okay. All right. I'll just... take my chair and leave.

Ted: Wait... Rest... Back... Lily and I were dining out with Heather Sunday. Want to go?

Barney: I have already called to add a person.

Ted: You really can not tell Lily.

Barney: No, nothing really...

Ted (2030): That year, Canada was really lacking in Aunt Robin, Marshall then brought him to where he was when he was nostalgic Minnesota: The bar of the Perche.

Marshall and Robin arrive at the bar...

Marshall: Hi everyone.

All: Marshall!

Marshall: This is Robin.

All: Robin!

Marshall: Turn drink.

All: Drink!

Man: How are you, Marshall?

Marshall: And you? Hey, man! You got anything in the leg?

Man: I played hockey today. I hurt my knee.

Robin: You went to the hospital?

Man: I poured beer on it. I miss the game of the Vikings.Minnesota!

Robin: I love the guys here. This is real guys. Without shampoo or manicure. The guys from New York are 10% chick.

Marshall: Go. You're wrong.

Lily, Barney and Ted are the sister restaurant.

Barney: I'll take the vichyssoise with a hint of cream. Dairy ballonnent me.

Heather: So... I found an apartment today.

Ted: Really?

Heather: Yes. And I hoped you would have drunk a little more wine hand side before you to ask you this, but... I need you to lease the instructions.

Ted: Let me think.

Barney: It, it means he will not.

Heather: I really need your help.

Ted: We'll talk later, OK?

Barney: You do not have any illusions.

Heather: What's the matter? You do not trust me?

Ted: You're my sister.

Barney: There he just says the obvious.

Heather: Listen, Ted, I want to get into finance, but... you see me like I was four and I wanted to become an astronaut.

Ted: I just think you have no idea of the difficulty of succeeding in New York.

Barney: Exactly. Do you need relationships. If only Ted knew someone who works at, say... Goliath National Bank, then...expect. What? I work for Goliath National Bank. Incredible!

Back at the bar of Marshall...

Man: Okay. It's been two beers and Bemidji... who ordered the mini burgers?

Robin: My God! This is Fisherman's Quest? I played all the time FQ at the time!

Marshall: Oh, yeah? I have the best score. Without boasting, I caught... a pike of almost 1 m. The biggest fish virtual nobody has ever taken. Finally... freshwater.

Robin: I'll take my hat fisherman. Thank you for bringing me here. This is mine.

At the restaurant, Ted is still sitting when Lily puts her coat and Heather Barney helps to do the same.

Ted: It's not a good idea. Heather and Barney alone in his office? And I do not want to be guarantor for the lease.

Lily: It ripens, just as you see it yet.

Ted: It is about a girl who got caught for stealing, eight months ago.

Lily: Ted, many women have a period kleptomaniac. And yes, maybe sometimes they happen to mow a small object because it excites them in a strange way they are not explained. But... If it reassures you, I will accompany them to GNB, tomorrow. I will say that I'm going to lunch with Marshall, but in fact I espionnerai.

Ted: It suits me. Good luck tomorrow at the GNB. I'm sure you will impress them.

Lily: And I espionnerai. And sh*t!

Lily and Marshall are still at the bar.

Robin: "I drink to forget the 1999 NFC Championship"?

Marshall: The match. The Vikings were 2 minutes to go to the Super Bowl, when our striker, who had not missed a year's messed up a penalty and we lost in overtime. Damn!

Male: 1999 NFC Championship Game?

Marshall: Yes.

Man: Damn!

Marshall: My father, I had never seen him cry in my life, wiped away a tear. He said... "A small part of me just d*ed, son. "

Robin: I love the passion you have for your Vikings. It's like looking for hockey in Canada... What?

Marshall: Do not let... anyone here know that you're not from Minnesota.

Robin: Why? They will do anything q'ils learn that I am...

Man 1: It looks like a bar in Dallas, man?

Male 2: It's weird, but is a reassuring side to be worn like that.

Man 3: Dude, did you see this guy! So, Robin, are you coming from?

Robin: Bemidji. Bemidji, Minnesota. Go Vikes!

Ted is in the street with her sister Lily.

Ted (2030): Children, for the rest, I'll skip a few days.

Heather: Very nice, this briefcase.

Ted: Very friendly, the security camera, too. And there is one another. And a security guard.

Heather: I intend to pay it, Ted.

Ted: Yes. You got the job yet. Must push the door, not pull.And that's it. Thank you for having watched yesterday. Maybe I was wrong. She seems to have been able to manage with Barney. It will perhaps manage New York.

Lily: Not enough!

Ted: Why?

Lily: I have a secret. No! It has not happened. It happened something.

Ted: It's been what?

Lily: Nothing. After the interview Heather, I went to see Marshall one time, when I came back...

Flashback

Lily enters the office of Barney when he gets dressed and Heather.

Lily: My God!

Barney: Before you say or do something, give me a favor.

Lily: What?

Barney: Move away. It's a Prada.

Barney picks up his shirt.

End flashback

Lily: I'm really sorry.

Ted: I knew it. I've always known. It remained the same trail irresponsible. And when I see Barney...

Lily: You will say nothing. Ted, Heather begged me not to tell you. She hate me if she knows that I sneaked.

Heather: I love this kit, but I can not afford. You were right, Ted.

Ted: And how!

Lily: You see? She has not bought the briefcase! It is responsible! And no chance that she slept with someone here.She turns the page.

Marshall returns to the bar...

Marshall: Hi everyone!

Robin: So my father and I were in the NFC championship game by 99.

Marshall: I said, good evening everyone!

Robin: And when we missed the penalty and lost...

All: Holy sh*t!

Robin: Holy sh*t! f*cking. My father that I had never seen him cry in my life, wiped away a tear and said, "A small part of me just d*ed, son. "

Man: "Son"?

Robin: That's what I tell my son. If I am fortunate to have a son, I will call Rashad Tarkenton.

Man: Nice story.

Marshall: Beautiful story! But it seems a bit familiar.

Robin: I know! They all bought into.

Marshall: I see what you do.

Robin: What?

Marshall: I've brought here because... I was sorry for you. And there, it looks like you're trying to steal my bar.

Robin: You think I'm trying to steal your bar? Host.

Man: "Host"? Are you Canadian?

Robin: No, I...

Man: If you want to imitate a Canadian, just turn off the light and act as if you were afraid!

Robin: What was that?

Marshall: With the nearby Canada, Minnesota, we like to make jokes on your back and they are often on the same theme.

Robin: As fear of the dark?

Marshall: Yes. For example, everyone, how many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb? "What? No, the bulb is dead? I'm afraid! "

Robin: This is stupid. Why do you think Canadians are afraid of the dark?

Marshall: Where do prejudices? A stereotype appears, and suddenly, it spreads like fire. Asians misbehave, the Scots are stingy, the Brazilians are too many stamps. I doubt it works.You can not hang out with people who belittle your beloved country. I take you back.

Robin: No, wait. I have something to say. Everyone. Let me tell you something about Canadians.

Marshall: Please, no scene.

Robin: Why Canadians are not of birthday wishes? Because they are too afraid to put out the candles. My God, I love this place!

Ted and his sister are in McClaren's with Lily and Barney.

Barney: I think your prospects are good for GNB. U you have shown me that you can take any position.

Lily: This is the new coasters?

Barney: I hope you get the job. Nothing makes me happier than to fill an opening.

Lily: I swear, these coasters are thicker.

Heather: I'm ready to bend over backwards.

Ted: OK, enough! I can not believe you hast slept with my sister!

Barney: You've sneaked?

Lily: You know what? It's a new batch of old coasters. I will confirm with the bartender.

Ted (holding Lily): And you, you're mature and responsible?It's responsible adult to go to your first interview in New York and banging a stranger? You've always been immature and irresponsible. You'll always be immature and irresponsible.And I cosignerai not a subscription with you, let alone a lease.

Heather: Barney and I, we did nothing.

Ted: Come on. Lily saw you.

Barney: Oh yeah?

Flashback

Heather and Barney's Barney's office and get naked.

Barney: You see, Ted, you have so little faith in me and Heather...

Heather:... That we decided to show you what you expect from us.

Barney: And as we can count on Lily to sneak.

Lily enters the office.

Lily: My God!

End flashback

Ted: What? Why do this?

Heather: Because you deserve it.

Barney: Ted, you know, I'm not a saint. And yes, it is true that the times I drove your mother at the airport, say that there has been a... sexually confused and confusing time in the parking lot, but I said I draguerai not your sister, and I thought. You should have me believe.

Heather: You're so convinced that I am still a teenager out of control, you forgot that I grew up. I'll find a hotel. I will take my business later. Merry Christmas.

Barney: Your mother and I, we kissed.

Robin plays at Fisherman's Quest.

Man 1: Continuous. You got five seconds to catch sturgeon still 2.

Man 2: We will perhaps see the screen of the gills.

Marshall: You can catch two fish with a hook.

Robin: No, but I can catch a fish and use this one to catch the other.

Man 1: High Scores! You got b*at Marshall!

Marshall: It is Canadian! Robin is Canadian! She is Canadian.It comes not from Bemidji and she knows bugger all about the Vikings.

Man 1: You're angry because she b*at you.

Marshall: During the 1999 NFC Championship, when the Vikings lost...

All: Holy sh*t!

Marshall:... who was the scorer who missed the penalty?

Robin: Rashad Tarkenton.

Marshall: Gary Anderson. He is retired. It was a case of fly fishing... in Canada.

Man 1: Goodbye.

Robin: You know what? I'm glad you know it because I am proud to be Canadian. It was not a good NFL team or Prince, but we invented Trivial Pursuit. Anything, the Earth! In addition, in Canada, you can go to a strip club full of alcohol and order. And yeah. Moosejaw in the Bay of Fundy, you can whistle your pint of Pilsner while watching a minor girl to get naked. Jealous? In Canada, people do not care where you come from, as you are whisked away nice and possibly a cigarette, or when a donut. I am proud to come from the "Great White North"... and I want to be right now. And was not afraid of the dark. Finally, we do not really like, but like everyone else.

Robin leaves the bar.

At the apartment, Heather opens her bag and pulls out a briefcase.

Ted: Merry Christmas. Look into it. If you push around the...Not down the middle.

Heather: I do not need you.

Ted: Got it.

Heather: You've signed the lease.

Ted: You know why?

Heather: Because you trust me and that's a good idea?

Ted: I want to know you. The new you.

Heather: Thank you.

Ted: By the way, in your new neighborhood, you should put a good lock on your door. If you want... live.

Robin is out to eat ice cream. Marshall joins.

Marshall: Sorry about what happened inside. I was stupid. I should say anything.

Robin: I'm sorry. That was your cue. I should not have my own.But every year during the holidays, I am homesick. And so far, every year, I had a reason to stay: a boyfriend, a job or something. But... This year, for the first time, I have nothing.

Marshall: But if.

Robin: What?

Marshall: We love you all. If you ever leave again in Canada, we jump on a plane, you are pursuing, and after that Barney has dragged some of the club with which you have spoken, we will bring you here where you are supposed to be. This is not New York without Robin Scherbatsky.

Robin: Thank you.

Marshall: Yeah.

Robin: I miss sometimes. I wish I could close my eyes and find myself one hour in Canada.

Marshall: I was hoping that you say that.

Marshall takes Robin to another bar.

Robin: How did you find this place?

Marshall: Just like home, eh?

Robin: There's only one way to know.

Robin shakes a man intentionally.

Man: Sorry. I had not seen. Are you okay?

Robin: It's OK.

Man: OK, I apologize. Take a donut, it's a gift.

Robin: thank you.

Marshall: OK. You come home in him, he apologized and you file a donut free?

Robin: It's like home.

The light goes out.

Marshall: Sorry! All is well! Sorry.

Robin: No one likes the dark.

Man (speaking): The following comes from Ontario: Marshall Eriksen.

Robin: You were a member? You sing what?

Marshall: I think you will recognize. I will throw your body anyway. I will throw your body into Canada Day! Dude, you can split the screen. We know the words.

All: Everyone comes to play. Take all your worries. (Robin puts on a mask) Let's go to the mall. Today!

The End