01x03 - iDream of Dance

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iCarly S01E03 iDream of Dance

SCENE 1:
Opening with Sam at her desk pouring orange juice into her cup and beside that is a bowl and turkey bacon. Carly then walks in and looks at Sam confused.

SAM to CARLY:What?

CARLY to SAM:You're having breakfast in class?

SAM to CARLY:Uh-huh.

CARLY to SAM:You can't just have breakfast in the middle of...Is that turkey bacon?

CARLY then takes the turkey bacon and sits next to SAM as FREDDIE walks in as well as MS.BRIGGS

FREDDIE to CARLY: Carly.

CARLY to FREDDIE:Freddie.

FREDDIE to SAM:Sam.

SAM to FREDDIE:I'm eating. (She says this with her mouth full)

MS.BRIGGS to CLASS:All right, class. Take your seats. (Sniffs)Why do I smell bacon?

MS.BRIGGS stares at CARLY and SAM who stare at one another and then at MS.BRIGGS

CARLY to MS.BRIGGS:It's turkey bacon.

MS.BRIGGS to SAM & CARLY:Put it away!

CARLY to MS.BRIGGS:Sorry! (Hands Bacon to SAM)

SAM to MS.BRIGGS:Okay.(Puts bacon in FREDDIE’s backpack who closes his eyes and slowly looks at his backpack)

SAM to MS.BRIGGS:There, it's put away.

FREDDIE to SAM: Into my backpack?

MS.BRIGGS to CLASS:Now, today we have a very special treat.

GIBBY to MS.BRIGGS:Spelling bee? (Raising his hand)

MS.BRIGGS to GIBBY:Quiet, Gibby. (GIBBY puts his head down slowly)

MS.BRIGGS to CLASS:Since you young people today know nothing about fine arts, prepare to be stimulated by a true performer.

GIBBY to MS.BRIGGS:Ryan Seacrest?

MS.BRIGGS to GIBBY:Gibby! Now, some of you may know my ancestors hail from Scotland, the home of plaid.

MS.BRIGGS to CLASS: And so, please welcome Scottish highland dancer Benjamin Yip. (Opens the door for a MAN)

CARLY to MS.BRIGGS:Ms Briggs? What does Scottish highland dancing have to do with... (MR.YIP starts playing)

SAM: BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! (CLASS joins)

MS. BRIGGS to CLASS:Stop that!

MS.BRIGGS to MR.YIP:Not you!

MS.BRIGGS to CLASS:How dare you children boo a dancing Scotsman?Who started the boos?

SAM to MS.BRIGGS:Gibby.

GIBBY to MS.BRIGGS:No, I didn't. It was Sam.

GIBBY to SAM:I will not be a victim.

MS.BRIGGS to SAM: Sam, you have detention.

SAM to MS.BRIGGS:I'm used to it.

MS. BRIGGS to MR. YIP: Mr Yip, you may dance again. (CLASS GROANS)

MS.BRIGGS:Children!

CLASS:YAYY

MR.YIP starts playing again while SAM gets a piece of turkey bacon out of FREDDIE’s backpack and hands it to CARLY while FREDDIE just kind of watches
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THEME SONG PLAYS
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SCENE 2:STARTS with SAM and CARLY walk into the hallway of the apartment building after getting drop off by SAM’S MOM

SAM to CARLY:Thanks for letting me hang at your place this afternoon.No way I can be around my mom right now.

CARLY to SAM:You guys fighting?

SAM to CARLY:No, she's wearing some gross new perfume.Couldn't you smell it?

CARLY to SAM: I just thought your cat peed in the car again.

SAM to CARLY:I wish. (FREDDIE walks out of his apartment and joins them.)

FREDDIE to CARLY AND SAM:Hey.

CARLY to FREDDIE:Hey, you missed a smelly ride home with Sam's mom. (Unlocks her front door and then they all enter the apartment)

FREDDIE to CARLY and SAM:Yeah, well I had to go buy a new backpack 'cause SOMEONE dumped her breakfast in mine. (SAM turns around to look at Freddie after she puts her backpack on the couch)

SAM to FREDDIE: You're lucky I didn't dump it down your pants. (CARLY is by the fridge and SAM walks over to her)

CARLY to SAM and FREDDIE: Anybody want some iced tea?

SAM to CARLY:Me.

FREDDIE to CARLY: Tea me. (FREDDIE walks over)

CARLY to SAM:Grab three glasses.

CARLY to FREDDIE and SAM: So, what was up with that whole Scottish dancing thing?

FREDDIE to CARLY and SAM: Yeah, who wants to see that?

SAM to FREDDIE:At least you two don't have to sit in detention with her.

CARLY to SAM: Here you go. (SAM looks shocked at the lemon on the tea)

SAM to FREDDIE: Now, you see that?Carly puts a nice slice of lemon on my glass.How does she think of that?

FREDDIE to SAM:'Cause Carly's classy.

SAM to FREDDIE:And I'm not classy?

FREDDIE to SAM:Classy people don't clean out their ears with their cell phone antenna.

SAM to FREDDIE:That was your cell phone antenna.

FREDDIE to SAM:What? (Pulls out his phone) AWW!!No wonder I keep dropping calls. (Goes and gets a paper towel)

SAM to FREDDIE and CARLY:Anyway, what right does an English teacher have to force kids to watch dancing?

FREDDIE to SAM and CARLY: I wouldn't mind watching good dancing. (SAM grabs FREDDIE’s Straw and goes to the fridge.

CARLY to SAM and FREDDIE:You know, that could be a fun thing for iCarly.We have people send in videos of themselves doing their coolest dance.

FREDDIE to CARLY: I'm down.

SAM to CARLY:I dig.

CARLY to FREDDIE and SAM:Let's do it.

FREDDIE to CARLY and SAM:Where'd my straw go?

SAM: Here. (Puts it in her ear and then walks over and puts it in FREDDIE’s drink, CARLY just drinks her tea while FREDDIE looks away grossed out)

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SCENE 3: In the Icarly Studio recording ICARLY talking to the web show

FREDDIE to the girls:And in five, four, three, two...
-RECORDING-
CARLY:I'm Carly.

SAM:I'm Sam.Bon soir.

SAM:Hola.

SAM:Dikenshoff

Carly: Dikenshoff?

SAM:It's foreign for good evening.

CARLY:In what language?

SAM:Foreignese.

CARLY:I don't believe you, but since I have no proof...

GIRLS: DIRKENSHOFF!!!

SAM:Okay, now, before we get started...

CARLY:We have a special request for you...

SAM:Our iCarly viewers.

CARLY:We wanna see videos of you guys doing your coolest dance moves.

SAM:Or your uncoolest dance moves.

CARLY:Any dance moves will be acceptable. Like the jitterbug.

SAM:The tango.

CARLY:The mambo.

SAM:The chimichanga.

CARLY:The woozy jacuzzi.

SAM:The butternut trot.

CARLY:Any dance you like.

SAM:Just put it on video, then upload it right here at iCarly.Com.

CARLY:And if your dance is extremely awesome...

SAM:Or extremely lame...

CARLY:We might show it here...

SAM:For the whole world to see.

CARLY:And if we do...

SAM:You could get paid...

CARLY:Or not.

SAM:Yeah, probably not.

CARLY:You won't.

SAM:Nope.

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SCENE 4: Carly walks over to Sam who is banging her locker with a hammer

SAM to CARLY:Hi.

CARLY to SAM: Why?

SAM to CARLY:My stupid lock is broken.I've dialled my combination like 10 times and it won't open. (FREDDIE walks over and looks confused at SAM)

FREDDIE to the girls:Hey!So I was just checking iCarly.com during study hall.

CARLY to FREDDIE:Did we get any dance clips in?

FREDDIE to CARLY:Try over 3,000.

SAM to FREDDIE:No way.

FREDDIE to SAM:Yeah.

CARLY to FREDDIE:How are we gonna watch 3,000 dance clips before our next show?

FREDDIE to CARLY:We gotta watch like 500 every night.

CARLY (mostly to herself):Oh, my God. (SAM goes back to hitting the locker and GIBBY walks over)

GIBBY to SAM:What are you doing to my locker?

SAM to GIBBY:This is my locker.

GIBBY to SAM: No, that's your locker. (Points to her locker and then Sam opens it without an issue)

SAM to GIBBY:Oh, yeah.Thanks, Gibby.

SAM to FREDDIE and CARLY: Let's go, guys.

They walk away and GIBBY’s locker door falls

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SCENE 5: CARLY, SAM, and FREDDIE are watching dance videos on CARLY’s TV on the couch

CARLY to FREDDIE and SAM:I give her a seven.

SAM to CARLY and FREDDIE:Six.

FREDDIE to CARLY and SAM:Seven.

SAM to FREDDIE:Weird you'd agree with Carly.

FREDDIE to SAM:Weird you'd say that.

CARLY to FREDDIE and SAM:How many more dance clips do we have to watch tonight?

SAM to CARLY:So far we've watched 472.

FREDDIE and CARLY: UGHHHH

SAM:So we have 28 more to go.

FREDDIE and CARLY: UGHHHH (SPENCER walks in the living room from his bedroom)

SPENCER to FREDDIE, SAM and CARLY: Hey. What you guys “oooohhhhh”... about?

SAM TO SPENCER:We're trying to find cool dancers to show on iCarly.

SPENCER to FREDDIE, SAM and CARLY:Ooh. Are relatives eligible?

FREDDIE, SAM and CARLY:Sure.Who cares?I guess.

SPENCER:Yes!See, when I was in tenth grade, I invented the coolest dance ever.I named it the firecracker.You guys have heard of it, right?

SAM and CARLY:No.Never.

FREDDIE to SPENCER:Why'd you call it the firecracker?

SPENCER:'Cause I move my legs in a fiery expl*si*n of flailing limbs and floppy passion. Wanna see it?

FREDDIE, SAM and CARLY:Yeah.Sure.

SPENCER :Okay. I gotta go find my helmet and my shin guards.

SAM to FREDDIE and CARLY:Okay, dance clip number 473.

CARLY AND FREDDIE: UGHHHHHHHH

Boy on TV:My name's Darby and this is a dance called the prancing nightingale.

CARLY:Zero.

FREDDIE:Zero.

SAM:Bye, Darby.

CARLY:Next.

IN SPENCER’S ROOM:
SPENCER:Where did I put my helmet?

BACK To living room:
GIRL on Screen

SAM:Nope.

CARLY:Two.

FREDDIE:One.

SAM:Bye, Courtney.

CARLY:Next.

SPENCER’S ROOM
SPENCER:Here's that biscuit with cheese I lost.

BACK TO LIVING ROOM
CARLY:Next.

BOY on Screen
GIRLS:Whoa.Hello.

BOY:Hey, Carly, Sam, love your web show.Here's my dance.

FREDDIE:I don't like him.

CARLY to FREDDIE:Are you insane? He's totally hot.

GIRLS:Oh, my God.That boy's got moves.

FREDDIE:Come on, he's a total nub.

CARLY to FREDDIE:If he's a nub, then someday I wanna be Mrs Carly Nub.

SPENCER’S ROOM
SPENCER:Where is my helmet?

FREDDIE to CARLY:Just give me your rating.

CARLY to FREDDIE:How high can we go?

FREDDIE to CARLY:Ten.

CARLY:Four billion.

SAM:Four billion and three.

FREDDIE:I'm gonna go get a juice pouch.

SAM AND CARLY to FREDDIE:Move. Come on. Move.Move. Move. Move.

SAM’s head is on FREDDIE’s shoulder to til he shrugs her off.

SAM’s hand is on CARLY’s lap

CARLY’s head is on SAM’s back while FREDDIE is on the end of the couch

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SCENE 6: IN CARLY’S DREAM

CARLY:Five hundred dance videos.

FREDDIE:I know. I am so tired.

SAM:My brain is fried.

SAM:And do you know what's nutty?I don't even remember waking up this morning.

CARLY:Yeah.I don't either.

-BELL RINGS and LIGHTS go blue and STUDENTS start to dance and FREDDIE, SAM and CARLY all try to run away-

-MUSIC ENDS-

CARLY:Weird.

CARLY: Okay, does someone wanna explain what's going on?

FREDDIE:This is insane.

SAM: What's wrong with everybody?

SAM WAKES UP AND SAYS:
Hey.

Hey, you guys... (CARLY goes to FREDDIE’s shoulder)

We should...

We should probably go to...

Sleep.

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SCENE 7: SAM’s DREAM- In dentition

MRS.BRIGGS to CLASS:All right, students, take your seats Detention is about to begin.I said take your seats.All right, since you're all in detention, that means that each of you is rotten in your own special way. (CLASS CHEERS)

Yeah.

That's cool.

MRS.BRIGGS TO CLASS:Now, for the next two hours, I'm going to play these bagpipes.

SAM: Why not just shove scissors in our ears?

MRS.BRIGGS TO CLASS:And just so you'll be sure to hear them... (PLUGS INTO AMPS)

SAM TO CLASS:Were those amps there a few seconds ago?

MRS.BRIGGS:Hello, Ridgeway! I am Briggs!

SAM:Man, this is t*rture.(SAM covers ears) (MS.BRIGGS CLOTHS CHANGE) Hey. When did she change clothes?(STUDENTS CLOTHES CHANGE) When did you guys change clothes? When did I change clothes? Can...Okay, you people are out of your minds.(EVERYONE DANCES) Okay, why am I dancing? This shouldn't be happening.

SAM:I am not enjoying this.When did I learn these moves? Someone tell me what's going on.How am I doing this?Hey, I'm not flexible. What? Hey!Quit it, feet.Why am I pointing? What's with the bagpipes?Who choreographed this?Someone help me. Okay, why are we marching?

SAM:What's... Okay.No, not a cartwheel.No, the splits! What are you doing?Let go. Hey, let go of me.

GIBBY:Am I too late for the test?

SAM:Get out of here, Gibby. This is my nightmare.

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SCENE 8: FREDDIE’S DREAM- In the hallway of school
SAM:Come on. He's a total nub.

FREDDIE:If he's a nub, then someday I wanna be Mrs Carly Nub.

SAM:That boy's got moves.

FREDDIE:He's a total nub... Total nub... Total nub...

ZEKE:Hey, baby.You know, you shouldn't have called your web show iCarly.You should have called it "You-purdy." (CARLY blows her tongue at him)

ZEKE:Come on, now, don't be like that.

ZEKE:Hey, why don't you give Zeke a little kiss right here?

CARLY: Just leave me alone.

ZEKE:Hey, Zeke don't take no for an answer.

FREDDIE:She said leave her alone.

ZEKE:Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?

FREDDIE: I'm gonna dance.(FREDDIE changes clothes and Dance)

FREDDIE AS HE IS DANCES:What? What? Check it out! Back up! Back up! What? What?

FREDDIE AND ZEKE FIGHT WITH MOPS AND DANCE

FREDDIE AND CARLY HUG AND WALK AWAY

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SCENE 9: CARLY’S DREAM- CARLY’s LIVING ROOM in a flower dress as she lays on the floor and a bell ring

CARLY:Sam?

CARLY:Sam?

CARLY:Sam? Freddie? Where'd you go?Where's the furniture?Okay, there was a huge couch right there.And where'd this dress come from? (Looks in the mirror) I need some juice. (Opens fridge and boys come out)

CARLY:Hey. Wait, you're not juice.

CARLY:Juice boy's got a friend.

CARLY:I'll be back in a few minutes. (Elevator opens and boys come out)

CARLY:And three more.

CARLY:Okay, how many well dressed cute boys are in my apartment?Okay, why don't you guys just make yourselves at home, and I'll just go to some other place, where hopefully things make sense...Okay, I don't know what's going on here, but I think I like it. (ZEKE from the video comes out and they all start to dance)


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SCENE 10: (LAST SCENE) In living room and Spencer comes running in
SPENCER:Carly! Carly! Hey! I found it!Carly!I found it! Wake up!

SAM, FREDDIE AND CARLY:What?What?

SPENCER:I found my dance helmet.Okay, you guys ready to see me dance the firecracker?

CARLY:No.

SAM:No chance.

SPENCER:But it's an expl*si*n of floppy passion.

SAM:We've seen all the dancing we wanna see in one night.

FREDDIE:Yeah. I gotta get home before my mom has a panic attack.

SAM:I can spend the night here, right?

CARLY:Sure.

FREDDIE:Later.

SAM:See you.

CARLY:Night.

CARLY AND SAM:Cute helmet.You look like a lady bug.

SPENCER:Looks like I found you for nothing.Oh, well.

SPENCER IN HIS DREAM- EXACT LIKE CARLY IN THE SAME DRESS AND BOYS AND DRESS: I don't know what's going on here, but I think I like it.Pow!What? No.Weird.

THE END