03X02 - The Gorilla Club

[bunniefuu]

Okay. Okay, you wanna know what I really think?

Lana, put the fork down. Just put it down.

You wanna know what makes me sick?!

Is it eating tuna fish on a Ferris wheel?

'Cuz I did that once and I threw up on a bird.

Shhhhh!!! She's rehearsing a scene.

Yeah, my father's a deadbeat.

But you can't make me blame him for what I am

'cuz you're the one who did this to me!

You're garbage!

What? What's so funny?

You. The Scene you were doing.

Right? Wasn't it ridiculous?

Oh sure, go ahead, laugh at my acting.

Ohhh Tori... We're not laughing at your acting...

We're laughing because of your acting.

What scene were you doing?

It's for a role in a movie.

... About a teenager whose parents send her to a home for troubled girls.

Oh. One time my brother went to a home for troubled girls.

Why?

To meet troubled girls.

Y'know, bus stations are good for that.

Hey!

My audition is next Tuesday!

So?

So tell me what was so bad about my acting in The Scene!

Look, you're a good actor...

But you're still playing The Scene too safe.

Totally agree.

You're supposed to be a troubled teen girl on the edge.

And to play that kind of emotion, you can't just be your usual.

Prissy little Tori.

Prissy?!

The bird d*ed.

My throw-up got in his eyes.

And he flew into a roller coaster.

You wanna get this role?

You need less priss... And more risk.

Make us believe you're dangerous.

... On the edge.

Hmm?

Action!

Lana... just tell me why.

You tried to push your Uncle off that cliff.

You ask me one more question, I'll rip that pencil outta your hand and stick it right in your neck!

Okay, that does it.

Oh! Oh!

Mister purples!

Hey Sikowitz, for our homework assignment do you want us to...

Good luck to you.

♪ Here I am ♪
♪ once again feeling lost ♪
♪ but now and then ♪
♪ I breathe it in to let it go ♪
♪ and you don't know ♪
♪ where you are now ♪
♪ or what it will come to ♪
♪ if only somebody could hear ♪
♪ when you figure out how ♪
♪ you're lost in the moment ♪
♪ you disappear ♪
♪ you don't have to be afraid ♪
♪ to put your dream in action ♪
♪ you're never gonna fade ♪
♪ you'll be the main attraction ♪
♪ not a fantasy ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when it turns out right ♪
♪ 'cause you know ♪
♪ that if you live in your imagination ♪
♪ tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination ♪
♪ in my victory ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when I make it shine ♪

Check.

Check.

I'll check.

I bet... five reds.

I call your five reds...
...And raise you two yellows.

You gotta put 'em in the pot.

'Kay.

So when do you audition for the movie?

Tuesday.

You ready?

I thought I was...

Until Sikowitz said my audition stinks 'cuz I don't take risks.

Can you guys believe that?

Yes, you're boring.

Absolutely, one hundred percent.

I take risks.

Like yesterday at school there was a line for the girls' bathroom.

So I just walked right into the boys' bathroom.

Uh yep.

You used the boys' bathroom?

Nooooo, it was disgusting in there.

What is wrong with you guys?

We're playing cards... You in or out?

Uhhhh...

She's in.

Tori... Tori, did a package come for me?

No.

Oooh.

What'd you gettin'?

I ordered these delicious new fazini shoes with ten-inch heels.

Who can walk in ten-inch heels?

Awesome people like me.

Where's my package?

I don't know...

Why don't you call the shipping company?

Why don't you call my butt?

Whose turn is it?

Me. And I'm in.

Call.

Awww, it's an automated help line.

Listen...

To track a package, say... Or speak...

Your package tracking number.

Ah, now I have to find my tracking number?

Yes.

Turn off your speaker phone.

Why don't you turn off your butt?

What's with her and butts?

Jade, go.

I bet five reds.

And two yellows...

And I raise... fourteen blues.

I'm out.

Too much candy.

Foldeesimo.

Here it is. Tracking number: A - k - 3 - 5 - h - j - 1 - 4 -
7 - 7 - h - y - 7 - f - l - 4...

Fourteen blues, Robbie. You in?

Well... I have good cards... But I don't have fourteen blues.

Me neither.

Then let's make this interesting.

Yeah! Let's dress up as pirates!

If one of you guys wins, you get the pile.

But if I win, you get hammer time.

Hammer time?

What's that about?

For one week, any time I see you and say "hammer time"...

You have to do the hammer dance.

Okay. It's a bet.

And I will also bet.

Good. I got three queens.

Aw man! I had three nines.

Canasta!

We're not playing canasta.

Ohhh. Then I lost bad.

Woo hoo! Better get your dancin' shoes ready, boys.

...6 - q - l - 4 - k - 3 - 2 - 8 - m - d - 3...

And anyway, why do you have to "take risks" to be a good actor?

Because acting is about stepping outside your comfort zones.

About pushing your emotions to new places.

Ooo I'm Beck, I know about acting, I say words.

I don't see why we can't just pretend to be pirates.

I'll play pirates with you.

No. I don't like how you play pirates.

Okay, so I need to learn to take risks.

What do I do?

Well...

Why don't you take her to the gorilla club?

Uh-uh.

No way.

Tori Vega is not ready for the gorilla club.

I'm not? Yes I am! Why aren't I? I love animals.

Gorilla club? What's that?

Oh, it's just a fun place with lotsa cool things to do.

Yeah, cool things that'll jank you up.

Oh, I am not afraid of a janking.

Tori, trust me.

The gorilla club is a dangerous place...

...K - l - 5 - 4 - 9 - b - d - 6.

Will you stop that?!

Shush! They're about to tell me where my package is!

Your package was delivered... at... Eight... twenty-one... P.M.

8:21?

It's 8:21 right now.

Oooh!

I don't see the delivery...

Your package is here!

Hey Trina. Are those fazini shoes?

They sure are... With ten-inch heels.

That's a hot shoe.

I know.

Um, I'm still learning how to walk in them.

Would you mind...

Just grab on.

Hey there. Hi.

Oh, oh hey. Fazini shoes. I'm wearing 'em. They're mine.

Um, Aleece? Hey Aleece.

Um. Andre, right?

All day. Yeah.

So, um... here's what's up: Some friends of mine might be goin'
to the gorilla club tonight.

And if you don't have any plans, I was thinkin' maybe me and you...

Hammer time.

Not now all right? I'm trying to talk to Aleece...

Stop. Hammer time.

♪ Go with the flow in a spin ♪
♪ if you can't move to this ♪
♪ then you probably are dead ♪
♪ so wave your hands in the air ♪
♪ bust through the moves ♪
♪ run your fingers through your hair ♪

hey. I just... Wait, wait! Aleece!

Don't walk away from a man while he's hammer dancin'...

Awwww... I just... Awww.

Okay... not so bad... This place looks kinda fun.

People leave here alive, right?

Sometimes.

I think I just stepped in some blood.

Here. Sign 'em.

Why do we have to sign these?

It just says that if you try any of the challenges here, you won't Sue the place if you get... dead.

Well... Do people get hurt here a lot?

A lot?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ooo! The bunny's available!

I don't know if you wanna be ridin'...

Bunnyyyyyyyyy!

Okay. All right.

So, which of these games should I try?

Yeah... y'know, I really don't think you need to try one of these games.

But I wanna take a risk.

Just being here is a risk.

But...

Trust me... the games here are not for nice, sweet girls.

Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm riding a giant bunny!

Oh my God!

I'm gonna try the balls of pain.

N-no, no way!

If you get hit by one of those things, it hurts bad.

I'm not scared... I'm a risk taker.

Woop!

Wait.

Risk taker? Really?

She's not supposed to be laughin' on the bunny!

Well whaddaya want me to do?!

All right, when you hear the buzzer, you run to this side, grab a ring, run it back over there.

Your goal is to get three rings on the peg in thirty seconds.

Easy. Let's go!

You realize those big forty pound balls.

Are gonna be swinging back and forth, right?

Risk! It's all about risk.

Five seconds...

...Four, three, two, one...

Okay... I got this... I got this...

No I don't... I don't know...

Whoa, that was close... All right, here I go... here I...

Ooh.

Loser.

Oh.

You all right?

Yes. That game is impossible.

Ooo, rings!

I'm goin' again.

You ask me one more question, I'll rip that pencil outta your hand and stick it right in your neck!

Good job Tori.

Yeah? You liked it?

No. But you are getting less terrible.

Wow. Thanks.

You're still playing The Scene too safely.

You're not taking risks.

But I am so risky now!

Last night I went to a crazy gorilla club.

Oh and this morning I ate yogurt.

That was two days past the "eat by" date!

I am like a maniac!

Good. You're learning to be a risk taker.

And that's why you're getting better.

I still wanna know why you're sitting in that Bucket of ice.

Yeah just tell us.

C'mon tell us.

I tried to milk a horse, and when I turned around, the horse kicked me right in the toosh.

Tush.

I say toosh.

Robbie's toosh is lop-sided.

It is not!

You know the left cheek hangs lower than the right.

Hammer time.

Awwww.

Darn it all.

Hammer time.

♪ Go with the flow in a spin ♪
♪ if you can't move to this ♪
♪ then you probably are dead ♪
♪ so wave your hands in the air ♪

oh my God!

His toosh is lop-sided!

Don't look at it!!!!!

♪ Move, slide your rump ♪
♪ just for a minute ♪
♪ let's all do the bump ♪
♪ bump bump bump, yeah ♪.

Loser.

You don't have to do this.

I wanna do it...

'Cuz I ain't scared a'nothin'.

All right, when ya hear the buzzer, run over to this side, grab a ring, run it back...

Yeah yeah yeah I know, come on, lez do this thang!

Whoo!

Five seconds...

Five, four, three...

All right, it's all you. It's all you, Tori!

It's all me!

Ah.

Watch out. Watch your back.

Ha-ha.

Okay, okay!

There, don't... yeah.

Good job! Yeah!

Okay, here we go!

Winner.

Yeah baby!

Ya did it!

Shoosh yeah I did it!

Who's a rock star?!

Meee!

Whoo.

Ha-ha.

You are definitely a real risk-taker.

I know...

And to prove it even more, y'know what I'm gonna do right now?

What?

I'm gonna use the bathroom here!

Sitting?!

Sitting!

Whoo!

Answer me!

You ask me one more question, I'll rip that pencil outta your hand.

And stick it right in your neck!

Yeah!

All right!!! Whoo.

Yes!

You audition like that, I guarantee you'll get the part.

Sikowiiiitz... Look at the sandwich I made you.

I've got to go.

Ow.

Where have you been?

Jogging.

On your face?

It's not funny!

You went jogging in ten-inch heels?

Yes! And I stepped on a rock and I fell down.

Awww.

Two little canadian boys laughed at me.

Get the dang door!

I'll get it, I love doors!

They're like presents with hinges!

Ooo look it's ja...

Outta my way.

What are you doing here?

I'm just helping Tori rehearse for her audition.

That's three nights in a row.

I know she's bad, but does she really need this much help?

He's teaching me about taking risks.

Ohhhhhhhh.

It's true.

Tonight she went to the gorilla club and b*at the balls of pain.

Dass right...
'Cuz I am a supreme risk taker.

So you got past the gorilla?

Well... no...

I didn't do the gorilla thing.

But I used the bathroom there.

Sitting down?

I might have hovered.

Ha.

I am a risk taker!

Don't tell me, tell the gorilla.

Why don't you tell my butt?!

That's my thing!

All right, settle down!

The next victim to take on the gorilla is...

Tori Vega!

Okay, the rules are simple: You get past the gorilla, climb the net, grab the big banana, you win.

No problem, let's go!

Hey... move.

Why should we move?

We were here first.

Okay.

Hammer time!

Yeah.

♪ My-my-my-my music hits me so hard ♪
♪ makes me say oh my lord ♪
♪ thank you for blessing me ♪
♪ with a mind to rhyme ♪
♪ and two hyped feet ♪
♪ it feels good when you know you're down ♪
♪ a superdope homeboy from the oaktown ♪
♪ and I'm known as such ♪
♪ and this is a b*at ♪
♪ uh u can't touch ♪

five... four... three... Two... one...

Ah!

Loser.

Can we stop hammer dancin' now?

Please?

No!

Are you okay?!

Yeah.

You are not going back in there.

Okay. Okay.

♪ Why you standing there man ♪
♪ u can't touch this ♪
♪ yo sound the bells ♪
♪ school is in sucker ♪
♪ u can't touch this ♪
♪ give me a song or rhythm ♪
♪ making 'em sweat ♪
♪ that's what I'm giving 'em ♪

whoa.

What?

C'mon gorilla!

Hammer time!!!

♪ Stop ♪
♪ hammer time ♪

c'mon, get up!

Yeah!!! Yeah!

Uh-huh! That's right! Tori Vega b*at the big bad... ah!

Aw.

Oh.

Just tell me why you tried to push your Uncle off that cliff.

I'm done talkin' to you.

Answer me!

You ask me one more question, I'll rip that pencil outta your hand and stick it right in your neck!

Amazing.

That was one of the best auditions I've ever seen.

Really?

Oh yeah. I mean, you just went for it.

Oh my God thank you guys so much.

And we'd totally give you the part... If it wasn't for your gorilla injuries.

Well... It still means a lot to know. That you would've given me the part.

Get well soon.

Thank you.