03X08 - Driving Tori Crazy

[bunniefuu]

Hey mom.

'Morning sweetie.

Mmmm... what smells so good?

I made a gorgeous egg-white omelette with mushrooms and spinach.

And freshly chopped tomatoes from our backyard.

Do you want one?

Sure.

Stove's right there.

But... I thought you meant... There's no more eggs.

Oh right.

I can't make an omelette without eggs.

Yeah, I can't argue with that.

Guess I'll just suck on this tomato skin.

I already did.

Bwaaahhhnnn!

Nyaaahhhnnn!

Mweeehhhnnn!

Gwaaahhhnnn!

Your singing's not getting better.

I'm doing vocal warm-ups. It's what real singers do.

Uh-oh! Girls, you better hurry.

Or you're gonna be late for school.

We have tons of time.

Unh-uh.

They're sh**ting some movie right down the street.

So?

So to get to school, Trina's gonna have to go up.

To Mulholland and take the long way.

That's a forty-minute drive!

I better go get dressed.

Bwaaahhhnnn!

Nyaaahhhnnn!

♪ I'm gonna sing in the caaaaar ♪

mom, mom, you gotta drive me to school.

I can't.

You have to!

What's wrong with Trina?

What isn't wrong with Trina?!

You know... you made her!

But Trina always drives you to school.

It's usually a five-minute ride!

I can handle five minutes trapped in a car with Trina, but not forty!

Baby...

No. Mom, I can't!

You'll be fine...

No. I...

Oh, shhh... - I love Trina but she's so irritating...

Well, maybe you should get your driver's license like a normal teenage girl.

But I...

Shhh...

I'm gonna help you through this.

Just close your eyes...

Now put your arms over your head and lock your fingers...

Okay... now what? Now what?

I'm alone aren't I?

♪ Here I am once again ♪
♪ feeling lost ♪
♪ but now and then ♪
♪ I breathe it in ♪
♪ to let it go ♪
♪ and you don't know ♪
♪ where you are now ♪
♪ or what it would come to ♪
♪ if only somebody could hear ♪
♪ when you figure out how ♪
♪ you're lost in the moment ♪
♪ you disappear ♪
♪ you don't have to be afraid ♪
♪ to put your dream in action ♪
♪ you'll never gonna fade ♪
♪ you'll be the main attraction ♪
♪ not a fantasy ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when it turns out right ♪
♪ 'cause you know ♪
♪ that if you live in your imagination ♪
♪ tomorrow you'll be ♪
♪ everybody's fascination ♪
♪ in my victory ♪
♪ just remember me ♪
♪ when I make it shine ♪

Do you really have to shave your legs now?!

I can't go to school with stubble.

Why didn't you shave your legs before we left for school?

I didn't know we had to leave forty minutes early.

Well, it's a little awkward for me...

Ow... tra... That hit my tongue...

Okay. Stop.

You just toe-poked me in the eye!!

Trina... stop it!!!

Hey, what's your problem?

If you don't want me to shave my legs... You do it.

No!

Then give it back and I'll do it.

Keep your eyes on the road, I'll do it.

Oh, okay, uh, watch out for that sore.

This could not get worse.

And when you're done with that leg, just... okay...

Get my pit. Alright.

Ah, it got worse!

You wanna ask her?

Sure. What's in the box, Cat?

C batteries! See? Batteries!

And you all get some.

C batteries for Andre... C batteries for Beck...

And c batteries for Robbie!

You wanna ask her?

Okay.

Cat, why do you have a giant box of c batteries?

'Cuz I "tapped it"!

The online coupon thing?

Yeah!

You say it "coo-pon"?

Uh-huh.

I say "q-pon".

I say "coo-pon".

So what is tap it?

It's this really cool new app!

All you have to do is sign up, and then, all day long, you get these texts.

For these really cool offers for great great products at low-low prices!

So you got a good deal on these batteries?

Yeah! They were eighty percent off!

That's only twenty percent on!

Robbie, come help me pass out these batteries!

Will I get a hug?

Maybe.

I'll take that chance!

Oh my God.

Did you swim to school?

No! This is sweat!

Ewwwwwww.

Ulllccchhhh.

Why are you all sweaty?

'Cuz Trina turned the heat up in her car all the way!

Why?

She's doing some new kind of yoga, and it "has to be done" in a hundred and twenty degree heat!

She made the car that hot?

Yes!

I tried to roll down my window.

But she pushed her little driver's side button that locks it!

I hate that button.

Yeah, it gives the driver way too much power.

Wait... you only live like five minutes from here.

I know, but they're sh**ting a movie near my house, so we have to take the long way here.

Okay, well tell ya what...

What?

Tomorrow I'll give you a ride to school.

Really?

Sure.

Or you could just get your driver's license like a normal teenage girl.

Yeah, you're almost seventeen.

And ya got no driver's license.

It's a little ridiculous.

Maybe her mom'll let her get one.

If she puts some trainin' wheels on the back of the car.

Squeak squeak.

Right. And she was like, uh...

Squeak squeak?

Hey, do you guys like hair sweat?

Huh?

Ahhhh!

Quit it!

Aw gross!

It burns!

Ummm...

So do you think Sikowitz is gonna make us memorize all the...

Hey Beck! What kinda car is this?

It's a 67 gto.

No way!

Oh my God!

That's so hot!

When you offered to pick me up this morning, I didn't know you'd have other... passengers.

Oh, I didn't either.

Sometimes girls just show up at my house and ask for rides to school.

Isn't he sweet?

Like candy.

Yeah!

So, are you coming with us to Nozu after school?

No. I'm gonna try to, but first I have to find out if my...

Oh my God, Beck, your hair smells so good...

You guys, please smell this boy's hair.

Oh baby!

I know right?

What kind of shampoo do you use?

Uh, just some kind in a bottle.

Yes. That was hilarious.

Does anyone have any gum?

I do!

I have gum!

He wants gum!

So this is real life.

This is actually happening right now.

I found gum!

Darn it!

Poooo!

Here, Beck... I unwrapped it for you.

Ooo, so none of you guys are gonna offer to chew for him?

I'll chew it for you!

I can totally chew it!

My teeth are strong.

I gave it to him!

I'll chew it.

Hey, aren't you supposed to take a left up here?

Oh yeah.

Leave him alone!

He knows what he's doing!

You don't own Beck!

Grunch!

Did you just call me a grunch?

Oh yes, I did call you a grunch.

Okay. That's it.

Whoa, whoa... okay...

Why are you doing this?

Oh look at the pretty tree.

Nobody wants to look at the pretty tree?

Okay.

Oh come on. Driving with Beck was that bad?

Bad? I got in a fight with four idiotic girls!

My nose really hurts.

You took on four girls?

Yes. Oh and one of 'em bit my elbow!

Now I'm probably gonna get Northridge fever.

Anyway... thanks for giving me a ride to school.

Hey no problem.

Any time you need a ride, just know you can call...

Andre! I can't find my contact lens!

Grandma... You don't wear contacts.

Then where are my glasses?

They're on your face.

Was I talkin' to you?! I don't think I was!

Grandma, please, just eat your oatmeal.

Okay, Andre!

So... your grandma rides to school with you every day?

Yeah.

If you don't like it, why don't you drive yourself?

I don't have my driver's license.

Grandma, finish your breakfast. Eat your muffin.

Okay, Andre! I gotta find my muffin.

Girl, would you hold my oatmeal for me?

Uh sure.

Put your hands out.

Okay.

Why'd you do that?!

You said you'd hold my oatmeal!

Why didn't you just hand me the mug?

I'm not lettin' you touch my mug!

You want a ride tomorrow morning?

Nope!

Cool.

So...

You only made waffles for yourself.

Uh-huh.

Why, did you girls want some?

Uh yeah.

We'd love some.

Oh. Sorry.

Who texted you?

Robbie... he's outside waiting for me.

You should just let me drive you to school.

Noooo, thank you.

Robbie offered to give me a ride.

And he does not need me to shave his legs or pits...

So I am going with Robbie.

You said you had a car.

This is a car. The car of the future.

Uh-huh.

We just got passed by an elderly.

Ha, well you're not pedaling hard enough.

Hey! Little girls!

You can't drive those on the street!

Wazz off!

Just... just, just keep pedaling...

♪ I'm feeling like a straw tonight ♪
♪ waiting backstage hearing the call ♪

bagga rags? I got 'em on tap it...

Seventy-five percent off.

They're just... rags?

In a bag!

Hi! Bagga rags? Here, take two.

Bagga rags? Ooo Tori hi! Bagga rags?

Rags?

In a bag!

I see that.

Okay!

So Robbie drove you to school this morning?

Yes... but never again.

I'm gonna find someone else to drive me.

Well, I bet my brother would drive you...

If you don't mind screaming.

You guys scream at each other?

No.

Sometimes he just screams.

Like at trees. And buses.

Thanks, but I'll find someone else.

Why don't you just get a driver's license, like a normal teenage girl?

Bagga rags?

See ya Cat.

Have a rag-a-riffic day.

Hello.

I hear you're looking for a new ride to school.

I am. Why?

I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at seven fifteen.

You?

Why confused?

Well... y'know... Why would you offer to drive me to school?

Okay, you always complain that I'm not nice to you, and now that I'm being nice to you, you question it.

Noooo no... I... I mean...

Thanks, I'd love a ride.

Perfect.

Um... I like your car.

I'm so glad.

I thought you only liked to drive at night.

Oh, I prefer to drive at night.

But y'know... Anything for a friend.

Right... Right.

Um... where are we?

Just driving to school.

Are you sure we can get to school this way?

I've never been this way.

Relax, Tori. Everything's fine.

Weird...

My phone's not getting any signal.

See? No signal.

Oh, yeah, we're about to drive through shadow creek park.

There's not much signal up here.

There's not much of anything up here.

Oh.

♪ La la... ♪
♪ la la la la... ♪
♪ la la... ♪
♪ la la la la... ♪
♪ la la... ♪
♪ la la la la... ♪

aah!

Why'd you jump out of the car?

Oh... no reason!

Well, hurry up and get back in.

No, that's okay. I'll walk it from here.

Suit yourself.

Next time.

Tori...

What?

You missed first and second period.

I know.

And you look all messy.

I know.

And that shirt is not a good color on you.

Cat! I walked to school. Eleven miles... through the woods!

I got chased by a beaver!

I thought Jade was supposed to give you a ride to school.

Yeah, she tried to give me a ride... to my doom!

I'm confused.

Forget it.

Now I have to find another ride to school.

Not tomorrow ya don't!

What do you mean?

Look at this new offer I got from tap it!

I have enough rags.

It's a new one, look!

I don't wanna...

Look at it!

Quack quack!

A one-hour ride on the party bus usually costs two hundred dollars!

But if you tap my tummy, you get it for... Ninety percent off!

A party bus'll take me to school tomorrow for just twenty bucks?!

Yeah, you want me to get it?

Yes!!! Tap it!

Tap that duck's pudgy belly right now!

Sure!

Yay! Your order is confirmed. Thanks for tappin'!

.

Oh. Oh Cat, thank you so much.

Sure.

I'll type in your info and have the party bus.

Pick you up tomorrow morning at seven A.M.

Awesome! Wait. But please don't tell anyone.

Why?

'Cuz it's a party bus.

If you tell people, then everyone's gonna want a ride.

Riiiiight.

Please, promise me you won't tell anyone.

I promise.

I don't want anyone to find out about the party bus.

I get it.

I told you not to tell anyone.

You did not make that clear.

Aw, c'mon Tori.

Don't be a grunch.

Okay.

Actually, it is kinda fun having you guys on the party bus with me.

Hey, have you guys checked out our bus driver?

No. What's wrong with him?

'Cuz I swear he looks exactly like doctor rhapsody.

That rapper from, like, the 1990's?

Yes.

I think that is doctor rhapsody.

Uhhh... 'Scuze me? Sir?

Yeah, whatcha need?

Are you seriously that rapper from the nineties? Doctor rhapsody?

Yep. The one-and-only.

I told you.

What?

That's so cool!

So why are you driving a party bus now?

Mm. Lotta reasons: I love parties... I love buses...

I only had one hit song... My wife took all my money...

So why not?

Well, we love your song...
Five fingaz to the face.

Yeah. - Hell yeah.

Oh, yeah? You guys wanna hear it?

Wait you have it in here? - Always.

I got the radio mix, the club mix, the re-mix, the radio-club remix, oh, and the karaoke version. Which one ya want?

Definitely karaoke! - Yeah. Karaoke!

All right, here it goes.

♪ You know I flaunt ya ♪ ♪ 'cuz girl I really want ya ♪
♪ and you lookin' nice ♪
♪ got me cooler ♪ ♪ than a bag of ice ♪
♪ now freeze, freeze, freeze ♪
♪ now go drop it fast ♪ ♪ and move it real slow ♪
♪ hooooo ♪ ♪ whaaaat? ♪
♪ you smell so fruity ♪
♪ I'm a pirate ♪ ♪ and you're my Booty ♪
♪ arrgghh ♪
♪ so move it in close ♪
♪ and lemme have a daily dose ♪
♪ (gasping) ♪
♪ girl... ♪
♪ I've been thinkin' 'bout you ♪
♪ think about me ♪
♪ whatchoo think about it? ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ always like that ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ I love my Tina, ananessa ♪ ♪ and georgina ♪
♪ it's lady's choice ♪
♪ so ima make sure ♪ ♪ ta make some noise ♪
♪ hoooooooo, ohhh... ohhhhhh ♪
♪ and now were sweatin' ♪
♪ got my turbo engine revvin' ♪
♪ vroooooom! ♪
♪ they stop and stare ♪
♪ all the haters think ♪ ♪ it's just not fair ♪
♪ that I'm six foot one ♪ ♪ and I'm tons a fun ♪
♪ and I'm 'bout ta put ♪ ♪ this club in gear ♪
♪ so fellas grab a cup ♪
♪ whaaaat? ♪
♪ all my ladies ♪ ♪ ya know wassup ♪
♪ yeeeaaahhh ♪
♪ put ya hands in the sky ♪ ♪ if ya feelin' fly ♪
♪ and tell me that you... ♪
♪ whaaaaat? ♪
♪ 'cuz I'm the man in charge ♪
♪ and ya know I'm livin' large ♪
♪ I got a big white house ♪ ♪ and a fancy yacht ♪
♪ and a garage ♪ ♪ fulla classic cars ♪
♪ whachoo talkin' 'bout boy? ♪
♪ oh, calm down. ♪
♪ oh I know you don't think ♪
♪ you can just come up ♪ ♪ in here and buy me ♪
♪ c'mon you know what I got ♪ ♪ for you? ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eeynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪
♪ five fingaz to the face ♪
♪ eynnn... eynnn eynnn ♪

hooooooo!

Yeah.