04X13 - Victori-Yes

Episode scripts for the TV show, "Victorious". Aired March 2010 - February 2013.
Shop Victorious Merch Here

Aspiring singer Tori Vega navigates life while attending a performing arts high school called Hollywood Arts.
Post Reply

04X13 - Victori-Yes

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, hello, yo, everyone, hey, yo!

What's up?


Before anyone says anything...

I did not see the finale of American Voice last night.

Oh, well...


I recorded it. It's on my DVR. And I'm watching it as soon as I get home tonight.

Okay but...


I've watched every episode this season for the past four months!

So please, no one tell me who won last night.


Sebastian won.

Ah dang it!

I'm sorry. Seriously, I just couldn't help myself.

Oh, here I am!

How's everyone doing today?!

Anyone wanna talk about what I'm wearing?

It's a...


A jelly-joo-ish-who-what?


They're pajamas! They're jeans! They're leggings!

It's a hoodie! It's a poncho!

The Pajelehoocho!

I think I've seen the Pajelehoocho advertised on TV.

Yeah, I got the commercial right here.



Let's see.

[ Music ]

Do your clothes make you feel uncomfortable?

Have you ever thought to yourself...

"Man, I wish I could wear something comfortable, that'll make me feel normal and popular"?

That'll never happen.

Shut up!

What the!

It's the Pajelehoocho!

They're pajamas! They're jeans! They're leggings!

It's a hoodie! It's a poncho!

It's the... Pajelehoocho!

Hey! Is that a Pajelehoocho?!

It sure is.

The Pajelehoocho!

And, when I went online to Pajelehoocho dot com, they said I could have free shipping if I bought a...

"A gross".


That's one hundred and forty-four.

You bought a hundred and forty-four Pajelehoochos?

Free shipping!

♪Here I am once again.

♪Feeling lost but now and then.

♪I breathe it in to let it go.

♪And you don't know where you are now.

♪And what it will come to if only somebody could hear.

♪When you figure out how.

♪You're lost in the moment.

♪You disappear.

♪You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action.

♪You'll never gonna fade.

♪You'll be the main attraction.

♪Not a fantasy.

♪Just remember me.

♪When it turns out right.

♪Because you know that if you live in your imagination.

♪Tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination.

♪In my victory.

♪Just remember me.

♪When I make it shine.

See, the idea is, we all prepare a scene...

Then we board a city bus...

And as we ride along, we perform the scene for the bus passengers!



You want us to do a play for people who ride the bus?

In Los Angeles?

Sure! You'll see those bus passengers will thank us.

Yeah, by s*ab us with rusty scissors.

Wait. Isn't he a famous clown?

I don't wanna do a play on a bus.

That's not Andre.

So, none of you want to do live bus theater?

Not at all.

All right. Ah! Then how about this...

We all do the Broadway musical "Annie"...

Under water.

I don't wanna do a play under water.

My skin will prune up.

None of us wanna do a play under water.

Or on a nasty bus.

I see. All right. No bus play. No under water musical.

Why don't we all just lie on the floor and stick our faces in the carpet?


Hmm mm mm hmm mm mm mmm mm mm mmm-mmm mmm hmm!

What'd he say?

I think he said, "Robbie's mother sprays his underpants with bug spray".


My mom... she's just worried that I've got roaches.

I think Sikowitz is sad.

I'm not sad.

Just disappointed in you children.


Because you're all a bunch of Negative Nancys.

Whiny Willies. Depressing Darnells.


Oh! I know an old man named Parnell.

His wife says things to him like...

"Hey Parnell"...

"You wanna eat some pancakes on a rocket ship?"

Nobody ever knows what you're talking about.

You have man breath.

[ Moans ]

What are you bugging about?

I'll tell you about what I'm "buggin"!

When you kids started this class, you were all bright-tailed and bushy-eyed!

Hungry to learn about being performers!

Now ya don't wanna do nothing!

I might as well just quit.

I should just walk out that door, never to return.

Your favorite teacher...

Exiting forever.

Okay okay, don't quit. Just...

What do you want us to do?

Be more open-minded!

You've all gotten so good at saying no.

I dare you to spend the rest of this day...

Saying yes!

To everything?

That's right.

I'm in. Jade, will you kiss me on the mouth?

Eh eh eh!

You don't have to say yes to kissing, or anything dangerous or...


But everything else...

Just say yes.

Will you?



I like it.

Yes. Mazel tov.

Hey! I have a hundred and forty-three extra Pajelehoochos.

Who wants their very own super-cozy and fashionable...

Wait! Wait! Robbie!

Will you wear a Pajelehoocho?

Cat, I...


That'll be nineteen ninety-five.

Free shipping!

[ Music ]

Hey guys.

Yeah, I'm on that new show, Divertisimo.

Big hit in Mexico.


'Kay later.

Oh Tori!

Oh my gosh! I wish people would quit bugging me, just because I'm one of the stars of Divertisimo.

Why would people here bug you about a TV show that's not even on in America?

You mean Divertisimo?

Stop saying it!



Because I could totally understand you being jealous.

Ya know, since it's a high-quality television show with top-notch acting.

Well, when are you gonna get me a copy of the show, so I can watch it?

Ugh. Geez Tori, get your own life.

Hey, Andre...


Hey Posey.

Can I ask you something?


See, I need help writing a song for my creative song-writing class...

Well, good luck!

You are freakishly strong.

That's because I drink lots of tomato juice.

Do you like tomato juice?

I don't think anyone does.

Going somewhere?

Yeah... yeah... I just had a bran muffin, so...


Were you about to ask Andre to do something?

Will you help me write a song?




Yes, I will.

Egg... cellent.

I reserved the music room for six o'clock tonight. See ya there.


Ooh! You want me to bring you some tomato juice?


[ Music ]

Did she brag about it to you, too?

You mean Divertisimo?

Yes, she mentioned it.

So what are you doing tonight?

I am going to trick my girlfriend.

Trick her?

Well, sorta.

You know how she has to say "yes" to everything?

I'm not sure I need to hear this.

No, no listen...

You know how I love drag racing?


Well, I do, and Jade has always refused to go to a race with me. She says it's stupid.

I'm voting with Jade on this one.

Don't care. There's a big race tonight, and Jade is gonna go.

Oh, because of Sikowitz.

Yeah! She has to say yes.

Yeah, very clever...

Hey Tori!

Remember when you asked me to come over to your house tonight, to help you make homemade pizza?

Uh, no, not really...

You asked me to do that.

Don't you remember? I want you to remember that.

Will you please remember that?

Yes. I remember that.

Great, I'll be over your house at seven.

Wait, I was gonna ask you...

I already have plans.

Now I have to go to the drag race by myself.

Drag race?


Well, that just turned my light green.


How many tickets ya got?

Two, but I...

Can I go with you?

Sure. We'll go to the drag race together.

Oh yeah!

Gentlemen, start your Sinjins!

Are those Pajelehoochos?!




This seems like a lot of pizza dough.

Are you sure you read me the recipe right?

Yeah. I said four cups of flour.

You said four pounds of flour!

Oh, I meant four cups.

Aw, great!

Will you get up off your butt and help me make this stupid pizza?

Ooh! I think that's for me.

Who's here?

Pizza. Comes to sixteen-fifty.

Why would you order a pizza when we're making pizza?

Because I knew you'd fail.

Can I have twenty dollars to pay this guy?

No, you cannot have twen...

Wait I'm sorry, did you just say "no"?


Because I think if Sikowitz were here, he might say...

"Ooh, someone sounds like a Negative Nancy".

So, one more time... can I have twenty dollars?

Give it to me.


Hey, you girls are pretty.


Hi, girls! Sorry, but I can't stay.


Yeah, I gotta head to the studio where I film my hit TV show that I'm on.

It's called...


We know.

Yeah. It's a huge, huge hit.

High-quality television and top-notch acting.

And I'm on it.

Well, did you get me a copy of an episode yet, so I can see it?


Oh, my shoulder hurts. Is there like a bruise or something?


Uh! You have a huge pimple!

Or a small volcano.

I have a pimple?!

Uh, possibly the most disgusting pimple I've ever seen.

Well, it hurts! Somebody do something!


Will you please pop Trina's shoulder pimple?

No, absolutely n...

A'buh buh buh buh!

Is someone being a "Negative Nancy?"

Or a Whiny Willie?"

You cannot make me pop her sh...

We made a deal with Sikowitz.

Should I tell our whole class that you couldn't handle it?

Will someone please just pop my pimple?!

Will you, Jade?



That's good stuff.


What's wrong?

Some goo got in my eye.

[ Music ]

So, you ready to hear the song I've been working on?

All... all right.

Okay. But first, a quick swig of tomato juice.

You want a sip?

No, I...


See, it's better warm, isn't it?



Okay. Now, listen to this.

♪ Well, I was born on the back of a pickup truck.

♪ With a momma named Donna, and a daddy named Buck.

I'm sorry, I had to stop.

Oh, don't be sorry! You stop all you want.

Listen, I know we're not great friends yet...

But I feel close enough to you to ask a personal question.


It's just...

Sometimes people say that...

They say my feet smell weird.

Would you smell my foot, and tell me what you think?

I dare you to spend one day saying yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. I'll smell your foot.

Thank you.

Oh. Wah.


♪ Then daddy left mom, and he took all our money.

♪ Momma caught a cold, and her nose got runny.

[ Laughs ]

Ya know, at first I thought these Pajelehoochos were stupid.

You did?

Yeah, but ah, they're so comfortable.

Ya know why?

Yep! Cuz they're pajamas!

They're jeans!

They're leggings!

It's a hoodie!

It's a poncho!

It's the...


Oh my goodness.


Hold up.



Are those Pajelehoochos?


I've seen them on TV.

I have a hundred and forty-two more at home.

Oh yeah?

Then give us those.


You want our Pajelehoochos?

That's what I said.

Sorry, fellas, but all we have on underneath is underwear.

Wait! Remember what we promised Sikowitz. We have to say yes to everything.

But if they take our Pajelehoochos...

Can we have your Pajelehoochos?



I feel normal.

I feel popular.


How are we gonna get home?

I dunno.

Well, we can't walk six blocks in our underwear.

Yeah, no kidding.

What are we gonna do?

Well, we...

We could stay back here and snoodle.


[ Music ]

So, I guess you could say my "need for speed" started on my twelfth birthday.

Look at 'em go.

Must be doing close to two hundred.

One ninety-eight.

Nice call, buddy.

Anyway, my twelfth birthday...


My uncle helped me build my own race car.

No kidding?

I built a race car when I was twelve.

Something's happening in the pits. Man, I wish I could see.


You brought binoculars?

I never go to a race without my binos.

Man, these work great.

Yep. They're good for checking out the hot cars...

And the hot ladies.

Ya know what. Sinjin?

Talk to me.

I wasn't sure about hanging out with you tonight, but you're a lot of fun.

I will fist to that.

[ Music ]

Can we watch anything else?

You don't like celebrities underwater?

No. Because they make you think, that the celebrities are going to drown but then they never do.

Let's see what else is on.

Go to the guide.

I know how to do it.

No... no... no...

Boring... no news... no...

Wait wait, go back go back!

Why, what?!

Just go up!

More... there, look!

The Spanish language channel!

Divertisimo! That's Trina's show!

I thought it wasn't on in LA!

That's what she said!

Well, turn it on!

I know how to do it!

No may ko-mas!

No may ko-mas!

No may ko-mas!

No may ko-mas!

That's the show Trina's been bragging about?

She said it was "high-quality television with top-notch acting".

She's a giant piece of cheese.

That fibber.

What studio does she film at?

Hollywood-Bronson, why?

Shall we go down there and pay Trina a little visit?

Indeed we shall.

♪ As we rolled on.

♪ Down the highway.

♪ With a d*ad deer on the hood.

♪ I said, hey now, don't ya spit on my baby.

♪ But I always knew he...


So, that's another song I wrote.


I write tons of songs. All country.

All country.

Anyway, I have about seven more, if you wanna hear 'em.

I thought you didn't like tomato juice.

Yeah. But maybe if I drink enough, it'll k*ll me.

You're so funny.


So, here's my next song, unless you're ready to go home.

No, just go ahead and play...

What? What'd you just ask me?

I just said, do you wanna go home?

Yes! Yes!

Oh yes!


Yes! That's my new song.

It's called "yes!"

It's off my new album called, "Andre's going home now".

All right.

You're sure we can get home like this?

Yep. From here it's all downhill.

Well... we're not going very fast.

I know.

Maybe it'll seem faster if we both yell "wee!"

We could give it a sh*t.




♪ Ella es el almuerzo.

♪ Ella es el almuerzo.

♪ Ella es el almuerzo.

El cut!

Everyone take cinco.

Really nice work. Good job.


That was a great scene, Trina.

Really "high-quality television".


Why are you here?! Get out!

No, we wanna watch you act.

Yeah. Does lady cheese boob get away from the hungry mice children?

Trina, are these your amigas?

No. This is my mean sister and her rude friend.

Hey! Do not call me her friend.

Well, whoever these senoritas may be, you are both muy pretty.

Thank you.


We're just visiting.

Listen, we're about to film our next scene.

Would you like to be in the show with Trina?

Why her?!

Thank you, but I'd really rather not...

A'buh buh buh buh!

Remember the deal with Sikowitz.

I told you...

You have to do it.




I will be in the next scene.


Can she be in it, too?

[ Music ]

Si! Si! Rapido! Rapido! Si!
Si! Si! Si! Rapido! Rapido! Si!
Si! Si! Si! Rapido! Rapido! Si!

Come here!
Post Reply