06x08 - iGet Banned

Episode scripts for the TV show, "iCarly". Aired September 2007 - November 2012.*

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Carly hosts her own home-grown web show, iCarly, Carly and sidekick Sam's regular Web casts ultimately feature everything from comedy sketches and talent contests to interviews, recipes, and problem-solving.
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06x08 - iGet Banned

Post by bunniefuu »

Ooo..

Ooo..

Who's putting on her pretty little lip gloss for her pretty little date?

I thought you left a half hour ago.

Get out!

Ewe, what smells weird?

It's my new French perfume.

Oh, is it called Le Poop?

You need to leave.

Easy, easy, I have a broken leg.

Hey, it's not my fault you broke your leg.

I told you not to wear your roller blades in the shower.

But showering is so boring.

Showering isn't supposed to be entertaining.

Alright, well, I'll be home at around 11..

Great, bye!

Wait, I need my..

Oh no..

Oh no!

Not again!

Ah! It's hurting, this is painful!

You're fine.

I'm not sure I am!

Have a fun time.

Could you get me an aspirin?

I can't hear you.

Ow.

Okay. Now..

Hey!

T-Bo. I told you, you can't just barge in here whenever you want.

You wanna see my lemon launcher?

No, I have a guy coming here any..

See?

I ordered this from FruitFling dot com.

Look at this.

You just take a lemon, you pop it in right here.

I don't have time for this. My date's gonna be here in..

And then pull this back.

I don't want you to pull it back.

Then I aim it thusly.

T-Bo, it is not a good time to..

Oh!

Woo-hoo!

Nice. Well, thanks for the damage. Bye!

Wait, wait, wait. Lemme try it one more time.

Yeah, that's not happening.

No, no, I know what I did wrong.

You did everything wrong.

I got another lemon in my pocket.

Take your lemon home and give it a bath.

Look. I just aim like this..

No, I don't want you to..

Hey, Carly, look, I brought..

Keith!

I got an appointment.

T-Bo..

In 5..

4..

3..

2..

I know you see.

Somehow the world will change for me.

And be so wonderful.

Live life, breathe air.

I know somehow we're gonna get there.

And feel so wonderful.

It's all for real.

I'm telling you just how I feel.

So wake up the members of my nation.

It's your time to be.

There's no chance unless you take one.

And the time to see the brighter side of every situation.

Some things are meant to be.

So give me your best and leave the rest to me.

Leave it all to me.

(Leave it all to me).

Leave it all to me.

Just leave it all to me.


Good table.

Gibby.

Well, we should get some smoothies.

Yep. Hey, girls, why don't you go get us some smoothies?

Ooh, can we?

Yeah. Get yourselves something, too.

Thanks, daddy.

Gib.. You gotta be a little more respectful with girls.

Aw, you're so cute.

No, I think you missed my point..

Whoa. Whoa.

What?

There's a couple a girls I'd like to respect.

Hmm-mm-mm. Where?

Behind you, but don't look now.

Okay.

Wait. Aw.

Hey.

Be cool.

Alright, here are your four smoothies.

You sure you don't wanna blast me in the head with a lemon before I drink this?

Alright. But I don't think you're gonna like it.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What's this in my smoothie?

Oh, there are my keys.

But, what about my smoothie?

You can keep the rest.

Make me a new one!

Okay then!

Hi.

I don't get it.

How did those two guys get girls like that?

I dunno. I'll go find out.

No, no, no Gib, Gibby.

Hey, excuse me. Yo.

Uh, quick question. My bud Freddie and I were wondering..

How do two guys like you get girls like that?

What do you mean?

Come on. I mean, you guys are all, like, yeah, blech.

And you girls are like.. Wa ha ha ha.

And then I look back at you guys, and I'm all, like, yeah, blech.

We're in a band.

Oh.

Interesting.

Yeah, I play guitar, he plays bass, and one day we were just.. Aw.

They're in a band.

Yeah, girls love guys in a band.

Right?

I wish we were in a band.

Maybe we are.

Ah!

You follow me?

No.

Here's a new smoothie, no keys.

Thank you.

That'll be..

Hey.

Those sleeves look familiar.

Huh? Oh yeah, they should.

This is your shirt.

My shirt?

Why are you wearing my shirt?

I needed a shirt so I went into your apartment, and got one out of the drawer in your bedroom.

Why didn't you borrow one of Spencer's shirts?

I don't like his style.

Hey, hey. I need $12 for those smoothies.

You don't need $12 for the smoothies.

I don't need $12 dollars for the smoothies.

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

These aren't the droids we're looking for.

Move along.

Move along.

Spencer!

Spencer!

Spencer..

T-Bo?

Oh, hey, Carly girl.

You wanna come watch this movie with me?

I got corn nuts.

I'm not interested in your corn nuts!

It's after 2:00 AM what are you doing in our apartment?

Mrs. Benson doesn't like me to watch TV this late at her place.

Well, neither do I. Now, turn it off.

But this movie's about the very first Jamaican Astronaut.

It's called "Mon On Da Moon". Listen.

(TV) One small step for mon.

One giant leap for mon-kind.

You crazy, mon!

Now, out!

Alright. I'll just come back tomorrow and finish it up.

No, you will not.

Where else am I gonna go?

You're banned!

Banned?

You have no respect for our privacy, so now you can't come back here at all.

But I'm T-Bo!

You're t-banned!

That's not even clever.

Out!

Can I just take a quick shower? I spilled maple syrup all..

What happened?

I heard Jamaicans.

Oh, I handled it.

Because whenever we have a problem here you always sleep through it.

No, I woke up.

Heard foreigners, and tried to call the cops.

Tried? What happened?

I couldn't reach my phone.

Why not, where's your phone?

Um..

Somewhere in this general area.

What?

I put my phone back here, sticking up outta the top of my cast, you know, just to hold it, and it slipped down.

Well, pull it out.

If I could pull it out, don't you think I would pull.. [ Phone rings ]

Your thigh is ringing.

Yeah, I know.

How do I..

Nothing.

Hello?

Hello!

Spencer? That you?

Yeah, T-Bo, it's me. What's up?

Man, your sister can be a real..

T-Bo says hey.

Hey, look. The idiots got girls.

I gotta hit the restroom.

Can we help you?

Why are you girls sitting with these clowns?

They're in a band.

Shh..

Sure are.

Oh, they're in a band.

And this band is called?

Uh..

Um..

The..

The Floors.

The Floors.

The Floors.

So, where are The Floors playing next?

We're not sure.

Yeah, it's not always easy to book gigs.

Maybe I can help you guys book a gig.

We don't want your help.

Please don't help us.

No, I'm happy to do it.

Sam..

Happy..

To do it.
Freddie and Gibby are in a band.

Oh my God.

Hey T-Bo. Can I get a Blueberry Blitz and maybe..

No!

You can have a cup of nothing.

Why? I just want a..

You banned me from your place?

I ban you from The Groovy Smoothie.

What?

You heard me!

You had that made?

Yeah.

Buh-bye!

I am not leaving.

Darrin, use the skunk spray.

Skunk spray?

Ewe!

Ewe! Okay, you've already sprayed me!

I'm already skunky!

And the next ingredient in our homemade smoothie is..

Uh, one cup of non-fat plain yogurt.

Or full fat for all you fat lovers.

One cup of non-fat yogurt.

And some protein boost.

And some energy boost.

And now..

I push this.

See? Anyone can make an awesome smoothie at home.

So it really doesn't matter if a very mean person unfairly bans you from your favorite smoothie place just because he's mad, when what made him mad was totally his fault in the first place.

Um, obviously, Carly won't need to add the anger boost.

Nope.

Now give 'er a taste.

Mm. Mm-hum.

How is it?

I don't wanna talk about it.

And now Carly's gonna hold the camera while, Freddie and Gibby leave the room for a minute.

Huh?

Why do we have to leave?

We're not leaving.

Fine. Then hang out and watch us do a new iCarly segment called "girl stuff."

Bye.

Back in a few.

And now some big old news.

What news?

If you're a fan of iCarly and music, you gotta come to The Groovy Smoothie Saturday night at eight o'clock to see Freddie and Gibby sing in their new band, The Floors.

The Floors?

The Floors. You're all invited.

What are we gonna do?

Don't worry, we'll cancel.

And there's no way they're gonna cancel.

D ah!

And now I will do my sneaky evil laugh.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Little over the top.

Mwa-ha.

Dang it, Sam.

I can't believe you did that.

Uh-oh, I think I tickled their angry bones.

Why'd you invite people to watch us play at The Smoothie?

You said it was tough for a band to book a gig, and I love you guys, so I talked to T-Bo and booked you a gig.

You know we're not a real band.

Which is what makes this so funny.

Will you help with this?

I got my own problems.

Carly!

Bye.

What?

Get back here, right now!

This is not funny!

Ba! Ba! Bop! Ba da!

[ Elevator ding ]

Hey.

Hi. Where've you been?

I had an appointment with my special doctor.

Your leg doctor?

No, the other one.

Oh.

Oh.

[ Phone rings ]

Ugh. Your phone's still stuck in the back of your cast?

Yes.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hey man, it's T-Bo.

Can I come over?

Can T-Bo come over?

No. He's never allowed over here again.

Alright, you talk to T-Bo right now and make up.

I don't wanna make up.

Just talk to him!

Alright, T-Bo, you're on with Carly.

What do you want?

What?

I said, what do you want?

What? I can't hear you.

You gotta get closer.

What is it, T-Bo?

You wanna know why I always hang out at your place?

Why?

Because sometimes, living with the Bensons is a nightmare.

What's so bad about it?

Mrs. Benson.

She's a lunatic!

See? T-Bo likes to hang out here so he can get away from Mrs. Benson.

Oh, come on, she can't be that bad.

You don't think she's that bad?

You try staying with the Benson's for one night, and if you can handle that, I will never come here again without asking.

And you can come back to the smoothie.

Sounds fair to me.

Alright. Deal.

I'm not gonna have any prob..
[ Phone rings]

Sorry, one sec.

Hello?

Spencer, it's your doctor.

Oh, hey, Dr. Harley.

No, this is Dr. Buttman.

Dr. Buttman? Uh, just a..

I'm gonna take this in my room.

I really appreciate you letting me spend the night here.

Oh, I understand.

If I had to live with Spencer, I would need a break now and then, too.

Um, what are these scales for?

Tell her.

Well, what's the point of eating nutritious food, if we don't know exactly how much nutrition our bodies absorb?

I don't understand.

We weigh the food before it goes in..

Yeah..

Then later, we weigh what comes out.

Oh.

Oh.

Mmmmm-hmm.

Gibbeh..

Gibbeh..

Gibbeh..

Quit that, man. We got two days to learn this song.

Rock N' Roll.

Ready?

Hit it.

[ Music ]

Girl..

I see you walking down the hall.

You know I think you got it all.

You look perfect to me.


Dude, we sound pretty bad.

Real bad.

Yeah.

Yeah.


Carly, is there anything else I can get you?

No thanks, Mrs. Benson, but it's really nice of you to ask, and make me feel so comfortable here.

Mm-hum, wait for it.

Good night.

Good night.

By the way, Mrs. Benson, I love this sofa bed.

I wanna find out what kind it is and see if Spencer will get me one for my room.

It'd be really cool for when Sam spends the night so she can just use..

Ah!

Wh.. What the Jack? What is that?

A tick gasser. You know how I used to give Freddie tick baths?

Yeah?

Well, now I can get rid of ticks with this industrial gasser.

Industrial?

Ah!

You might feel a powerful burning sensation.

I do!

Ah!

It will be a long time.

It will be a long time.


Stop, stop, stop.

What's up?

You were singing the wrong lyrics again.

You're gonna humiliate us in front of everyone.

It's not my fault Sam booked us a gig.

It's your fault we're in a fake band.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about this gig.

Hey, what if we just don't show up?

Nah, then we'll look even worse.

Yeah, and I guess our band can't break up before our first gig.

Right, we..

We can break up during our first gig.

Ha, dee-uring.

What?

You said dee-uring.

It's pronounced "during."

Fine. We can break up during our first gig.

Yeah. Keep talking.

You get it?

No.

That's why I need ya to keep talking.

Okay, listen, at the gig, like, before we ever play a song, you and I get in a fight.

I'd k*ll you in a fight.

Not a real fight. A fake fight.

We argue, then you try to punch me, but I'll duck the punch, then we wrestle around a little til people pull us apart.

I yell, "I'm never gonna sing with that jerk again."

And boom, The Floors are no more.

Ha, I love that.

But in a real fight I'd k*ll ya.

It's not gonna be a real fight!

Okay!

Lucky you.

Fire!

Fire!

Everybody out!

Fire!

Fire!

Everybody into the hallway if you want to live!

Fire!

What started the fire?

There's no fire.

What?

Mrs. Benson likes to have fire drills..

Frequently.

Our time was 32 seconds, which means we'd all be dead.

Now I gotta try to get back to sleep.

I'll come tickle your back in a few minutes.

No!

What time is it?

2:01 A.M.

We'll have another drill at 4:15.

Tonight?

Of course.

Button that top up. You're showing too much neck.

Yes, ma'am.

And, good night.

Hey!

The deal was you stay at the Benson's all night.

No.

You win, she's a nightmare.

You can come over to our place any time you want.

Aw.

Now, that's what I like to hear.

Hey.

I'll see you at The Groovy Smoothie.

Thanks.

T-Bo, close the door!

I'm closing the door!

Alright, now, let's go over the plan one more time.

One more time.

When I introduce our song, you start an argument with me.

I start an argument.

And when I say, "what are you gonna do about it?"

Then you say, "maybe I'll do this!"

"Maybe I'll do this!"

Right. That'll let me know when to duck.

Then you throw a punch, missing me.

And we'll wrestle on the ground til people pull us apart.

Awesome.

This is gonna be so..

Hey! When are The Floors gonna rock this joint?

Woo! Gibby!

We're The Floors, and we're about to rock you like..

Like a..

We are gonna rock-a-doodle your do!

Yeah, awkward silence, woo!

Now, this first song we're gonna do tonight is..

Hey, hey.

What?

Maybe I wanna intro the song.

I already started.

Well, then maybe now I am going to start an argument.

Okay, why?

I am sick of you always hogging the song intros.

So far I like The Floors.

Good band.

Now, just shut up and let me talk for once.

And if I don't..

What are you gonna do about it?

Oh, man!

I say..

What are you gonna do about it?

Are you gonna take that?

I feel so bad.

Give it up for The Floors.
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