08x15 - The Theory of Everything

[bunniefuu]

Neuro-intergalactic vibrations, the invasion's coming.

They are watching us right now.

These other dimensions-- they're everywhere.

There everywhere And string-- it's obvious-- string is the thing that connects everything, and I not talking about the stuff you can see Protons, photons, fig newtons, electrons, notrons and time and space...

Time and space?

I see you turning your back on me, shaking your head.

I can't help you.

Ignore the truth at your own peril, sir.

At your own peril.

Hi, see, we can't see the strings 'cause they're invisible, - but they can 'cause they're the 11th dimension.

Hey, you're ready for them tonight, Evelyn.

The invasion's tonight. Don't say I didn't warn you.

What´s the matter?

Can´t look?

You know what that´s tell me?

That you did it-- you sh**t her, you put a dress on here the trooper saw you put the body in the back of your pick-up truck.

Is there anything else you did that we gonna find out?

That what his doing.

And the body is at tha autopsy right now.

Oh, this must be our Jane Doe.

Doe, a deer.

A female deer.

It's not funny.

It's a little funny.

Doc, I already took photos.

Not for my scrapbook, you didn't.

This is animal abuse.

The k*lling, sure.

The dress?

Pet owners put sweaters on chihuahuas.

Just give me a hand with the arrow.

Hmm, it's not an arrow; it's a bolt sh*t from a crossbow.

Alcohol.

You think he had to get her liquored up?

Okay, so you got a DUI, resisting arrest, several new and unique wildlife violations.

You're in a truckload of trouble, Kyle.

I... I... I found her like that.

In a cocktail dress?

I didn't put no dress on her.

Oh, no, no, no... see, I was...

I was taking her to the vet.

You sure it wasn't a nightclub?

Then how do you explain the crossbow I found in your truck there, boss?

Easy. Somebody put it there.

Okay, take a deep breath for me now.

Blow into this.

Come on, guys. I mean, can't... can't you give me a break here?

I mean, look, no, here... I... I... I just got a... I got a divorce, right, and my ex just cleaned me out.

Let me guess: her name is Bambi.

Blow!

Stop him!

Move, move, move!

Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, citizens arrest!

Light him up.

Now do you believe me?

just less lethal.

AFID tags confirm it was Officer Choi's w*apon.

You know, I don't get it.

Suspect makes a break for it, clocks a couple of unis, gets pepper-sprayed, and keeps going.

Pepper spray doesn't always stop them when they're really drunk.

Suspect blew a .28.

Oh, well, maybe he was a sloppy drunk.

Any alcohol on his clothes?

He'd been in PD for hours.

Alcohol would have evaporated.

STOKES: I'm gonna need your stun g*n.

Am I in trouble?

When was the last time you had this thing serviced?

Not since I've been on the force.

That's only six months now.

We'll have it analyzed, see if it was malfunctioning.

That's the first time I had to sh**t it.

Relax, man.

You were following captain's orders.

When you talk to IA, just be honest... and don't expect a hug.

That's when you said to your officer, I quote, "Light him up."

Poor choice of words.

We followed the proper procedure for escalation of force.

I mean, at least we didn't sh**t him.

Of course, that would have k*lled him.

As far as my office is concerned, we got an in-custody death on your orders.

Doesn't get much worse.

Look, we use stun g*ns all the time around here; this is the first one that caught on fire.

What do you think?

Maybe this guy had so much booze it made him a Roman candle?

Well, unfortunately, human blood is 83% water.

It's just not flammable, no matter how drunk you are.

That's too bad.

Might have let you off the hook.

Together in death, as they were in life.

Guy abuses wildlife and then bursts into flames.

I call it karma.

There are no physical signs their relationship was anything other than platonic.

I mean, we're the ones encroaching on their habitat-- you don't see them sh**ting us.

Consider this justice for Bambi's mother.

Light him up.

This is the rest of the stuff that we got from the dead guy's truck.

One crossbow.

Same bolts we recovered from the dead deer.

Couple of mason jars.

Whew! Moonshine.

Home brew.

Firewater.

Grain alcohol's 190 proof, you know?

That's 95% alcohol.

Who was he trying to forget?

Well, Brass said that he'd just gotten divorced.

Welcome to the club.

You see any night-vision goggles or, uh, spotlights in that box?

No, why?

Well...

I think he must have sh*t the deer during the day and then waited until dark to put her in his truck.

That's a long time just sitting out in the woods drinking.

Stun g*n checks out.

Operates as designed.

Puts out the standard 50,000 volts.

Well, that eliminates one variable.

Leaves us with the shirt, the grain alcohol, and the pepper spray.

Time to find out if one of those made him catch on fire.

Don't tase me, bro.

Don't tempt me.

What are we missing?

JOHNSON: Either she's a 421-Adam, or somewhere a scarecrow and a lion are looking for their friend.

STOKES: That's Evelyn.

She's wearing her deflector suit.

Every night, she comes down to PD at some point, and e files a complaint against them.

What did them do to her?

Everything, from stealing her thoughts to raping her, but even if she is crazy, she's a variable in all this.

See, there may have been some sort of transfer between her and burning man.

She didn't stick around for the debrief.

Well, can you blame her?

She just witnessed spontaneous alien combustion.

And you didn't hold her.

No.

Did you get a statement?

Where is she now?

We don't know.

There's a lot you don't know.

You can count on three things happening every day around here.

The coffee machine's going to break down; some tourist is going to swear the hooker was over 18; and Evelyn's going to show up.

We got a broadcast out.

We'll find her.

She's very shiny.

It's gotta be getting hot under all that foil.

She's going to cook out here fast.

Evelyn.

What happened?

The driver...

said his shift was over.

He was just taking the truck back to the yard.

Said a flash of light came out of nowhere.

The sun was just coming up.

Reflection off of her suit must have blinded him.

Okay, well, this tin foil's evidence in two cases now, so we've got to be careful with it.

Butane lighter.

It's cracked.

Looks empty.

That could be what lit the flame in your deer hunter.

I'll check the foil for butane.

Trouble is, it's probably evaporated by now.

200 bucks.

Okay, turn her over, Dave.

Sure.

Guys. We got some green fluid here.

It's coming from the wound.

STOKES: Damn!

I think that's blood.

SANDERS: Take a look.

You're not going to believe it.

Another 419 with green blood.

What are the odds?

That he's not connected to our first victim?

Astronomical.

Looks like blunt-force trauma to me GRISSOM: You know, Tin Foil Lady was run over just a few blocks from here.

I bet this area was home to both of them.

Three pairs of sunglasses?

Earplugs.

That, David, is how you make it dark and quiet when you sleep on the street.

SANDERS: Hey!

I think I found the w*apon!

We should be able to get some good prints off it.

I've seen green blood before, but only from bodies in advanced stages of decomp.

What do you think turned it green?

I suspect it might be sulfur.

Hmm, sulfur's a naturally occurring component of blood.

Yes, but in massive doses it tends to turn the blood a blackish avocado green.

When the sulfur atom joins the hemoglobin molecules, red blood turns green.

Which is why First Officer Spock's blood is green in Star Trek.

No, it's not.

Uh, yes, it is.

Trust me.

I'm an expert.

Well, apparently not, because otherwise you would surely know that the oxidizing agent in Vulcan blood is copper.

And that is why his blood is green.

Well, it was that and the fact that he had a Vulcan father, since his mother was actually human.

And furthermore, he was promoted to Captain just prior to Star Trek II and then he retired as civilian ambassador.

You're like a geeky, nerdy guy trapped in a woman's body.

So are you.

Well, as I was saying, here on Earth, sulfur-containing compounds could turn otherwise normal blood green.

As I suspected.

What? Share.

She wasn't a Vulcan.

Thank you.

I don't want to take all the credit, but I do know why both your victims have green blood.

High levels of sulfur.

(sighs): Yes.

Did you identify the source yet?

Not yet.

I'll get the blood over to Henry and have him run a tox panel for sulfuric compounds.

Oh, and even if your tin foil lady was gushing blood, it would not have contributed to your stun g*n guy's immolation.

Did you find anything on the foil?

Bacon grease and trace amounts of ketchup.

Both things you would find at a barbeque, but not the kind that you're dealing with.

Brass just called.

Our lonely deer hunter's parents just hired a lawyer.

The department's going to be sued.

We haven't even released the case details yet.

Our investigation's still ongoing.

Well, they got something we don't.

Move! Move! Move!

Get away! Get away!

Over 60,000 hits since it was posted.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

STOKES: Here, on the PD surveillance, this ambulance chaser on his cell phone-- he's a regular.

Want to bet he's the one that sh*t the footage?

Want to bet he's the one filing suit?

Well, his cell phone has a better angle than the PD surveillance camera.

Archie, run this back to where he gets sprayed.

Get away!

Wait a minute.

Tighten up on the can.

Nick, when we did the experiment with Jell-O Man, we used pepper spray from a red can, right?

Yeah. Yeah, department-issue.

Got it through Logistics.

That one's yellow.

I've used my pepper spray half a dozen times on the street.

All I had to do was write a use-of-force memo.

BRASS: Speaking of memos, didn't you get the one we issued about five years ago?

I know what you mean.

Yeah, you know, when the department switched over to water-based pepper spray.

STOKES: This one uses isobutane.

Compressed gas, highly flammable stuff.

Where's yours?

It's Murphy's Law, right?

I always got my gear together, wired tight, but last night my girl takes my pepper spray.

And I don't blame her because she's got a dangerous job.

Oh, yeah? What does she do?

She goes to WLVU during the day.

Shstudies kinesiology, but she dances nights at the Acid Strip.

What does she clip the can to, her G-string?

It'd be a deterrent to stuffing a tip in there, wouldn't it?

Come on; she walks to the parking lot alone at 4:00 a.m.

Okay, so she takes your department-issue, so what'd you do?

Pick up an old can lying around?

No, bought one at Catalani's g*n World on the way in.

I didn't get a chance to change it out.

Does it really matter?

It might.

I just ran your pipe over to Prints after I sampled it for blood.

Yeah, did you find something wrong?

I found something weird.

One end of the pipe was covered with blood from the victim.

Yeah, the administrator at the shelter ID'd him as Wayne Connor, homeless.

Well, then on the other end of the pipe, I found several small blood smears from an unknown donor.

So the k*ller was also injured.

Mm-hmm.

His blood's green, too.

GRISSOM: "Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."

HODGES: Winston Churchill?

Ian Fleming.

I should know that.

I'm a huge James Bond fan.

What aren't you a fan of?

I ran the green bloods for sulfur-containing compounds.

Still working on the third donor, but Evelyn Polychronopolous and Wayne Connor both had high levels of thiocyte in their systems.

Prescription medication for migraines.

ANDREWS: I checked with the downtown pharmacs.

They don't dispense it.

154 nanograms per milliliter-- that's overdose levels.

Even if they were in a clinical trial, they wouldn't get that much.

It's not a typical drug of abuse.

GRISSOM: a migraine, you'll do anything to stop the pain.

How do you know they had migraines?

Well, aside from the medication, Connor was wearing three pairs of sunglasses and earplugs.

Photo- and phonosensitivity are symptoms of migraines.

Maybe that's why Evelyn thought "they" we invading her brain.

She was k*lled only a few blocks from the vacant lot with a couple hundred dollars on her.

She could have been on her way to a drug buy.

So if we can figure out who's selling the dr*gs, it may lead us to who k*lled Connor.

Damn busy day.

Hmm, where are they?

Inside, end of the hall.

Mailman got worried when they didn't come to the door.

We did a welfare check, found them both in the bed.

Doc.

ROBBINS: Catherine.

No forced entry; no sign of trauma; bodies don't look posed.

No gas odor, no petechiae.

No sign of suffocation.

So why'd you call CSI?

Couple in their late 60s.

What are the chances they d*ed of natural causes at the same time?

"Digoxin. Warfarin. Amiodarone."

Those are all heart medications.

Mm-hmm.

"Zolpidem."

That's for sleep.

I know.

Bottle's almost full.

No foaming at the mouth, no note left behind.

I don't think this is a double su1c1de.

Suspicious circs.

Good call.

They look like they loved each other.

CATHERINE: Looks like Caddyshack back here.

Invasion of the ground squirrels.

Yeah, I got a few casualties out here.

I see.

What the hell is that?

Looks like a close encounter, right?

"Atomic Dave's Painless Removals."

Some kind of pest control gizmo.

Apparently, it works.

I don't think the squirrels would agree that it's painless, though.

Shr dinger Martin?

He had a cat named Shr dinger.

Must have been into physics.

Cat grave.

Dead cat, dead critters, dead couple.

Imagine living next door to that racket.

WOMAN: Last night?

I was in my studio.

I'm an artist.

Didn't your neighbors complain about the noise?

I don't weld at night.

I work on my jewelry.

High-end stuff.

Nice.

Listen, how well did you know your neighbors, the Martins?

Are they dead?

Yeah.

They passed away last night.

Hardly knew them.

Heard he was a, uh... (grunting): ...professor or something.

Yeah, we really didn't have too much in common.

Well, apparently, you both shared a ground squirrel problem.

Could be worse, I guess.

I could still be with my deadbeat ex.

There's a pest I did get rid of.

ROBBINS: Hey, Catherine.

Hi.

What a relief.

Two red-blooded Americans.

According to his stomach contents, he likes a glass of red wine with his pasta.

Looks like suppertime was about four hours premortem.

Take a look at the light board.

Both Martins wore pacemakers.

Mrs. Martin's is in that bowl.

Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Yeah, I hope mine's still working when I pop off.

You wear a pacemaker?

Bradycardia-- slow heart.

Every once in a while, just to make sure I don't skip a b*at, the pacer kicks in, just like this one.

Well, obviously, they didn't die of pacer malfunction.

What you got?

Check this out.

It's like having a witness to his death inside his body.

There's no interruption in his pacemaker functions, but... about eight hours before he d*ed, there was a spike in his heart rate.

His wife's is almost identical, so something got their hearts racing.

Who knows?

Maybe they, uh, enjoyed a little afternoon delight.

Well, let's hope.

(chuckles)

Either way, their heartbeats went back to normal and they d*ed in their sleep a few hours later.

Okay, so I've be thinking this over and here's my advice.

If you want to get a real relationship with a girl, you are going to have to move out of Mom's.

No girl wants the competition.

I'm sorry.

Oh, God, no, no, turn 'em off.

Turn 'em off. Turn 'em off.

David Bohr, you're under arrest for the m*rder of Wayne Connor.

No, no, it was self-defense.

He tried to k*ll me over a couple hundred bucks.

He needed some stuff.

He couldn't pay.

He said some money was coming.

I had to go to work.

I turned to leave and he comes at me like an animal.

I have to go.

No, no, no, no.

This is Captain Brass.

We need a Code 3 paramedic response to my location.

Hey, I got your page.

What's up?

I think our cases might be connected.

Take a look at that.

So my green-blooded victim from the vacant lot was buying pharmaceuticals from the guy who did pest removal for your dead couple.

Looks like this guy was trying to create radio frequencies or something.

Well, I don't know what kind of effect that has on household pests, but radio waves can produce "noise on the channel," which could interfere with pacemaker function.

Thing is... the Martins' pacemakers are still ticking.

Ah, the luck of the Irish.

It makes sense, though.

If his blood was green, his organs would be green.

Well, frankly, I expected something more in the... dark avocado, almost black range.

Yeah, this is more artichoke.

You know, atmospheric sulfur levels are on the rise.

Hundred years, we're all going to look like spinach.

You guys didn't wait for me.

We're just about to excise his brain.

I'll bet you five bucks, Greg, that his brain is not as green as his heart.

Keep your money in your pockets, Greg.

There's a higher vascular nature to the heart and lungs.

Only the blood vessels in the brain are going to be green.

It's a sucker bet and you know it.

Well, thanks, Doc.

So, uh, Dave here did some humane rodent pest removal for Desert Palm Hospital, which is where he got his hands on the thiocyte.

He was all about freedom from pain.

Sea foam.

A lovely shade.

Look at the size of that.

He had a brain tumor pressing on the amygdala.

Well, this could cause his migraines.

Absolutely, and also aggressive disruptive behavior, paranoia.

As the tumor enlarged, it impacted the arteries, causing the cerebral hemorrhage that you observed.

He was self-medicating for the wrong condition.

No wonder he overdosed.

WILLOWS: Let 'er rip.

In order to interfere with pacemaker function, it'd have to be putting out between 50 and 60 hertz.

Okay, I'll input that range.

This thing isn't putting out anything that's lethal.

Tox report showed that the medications weren't lethal.

This thing's harmless.

I refuse to believe it was natural causes.

It's too big of a coincidence.

So we've got a dead cat and dead squirrels.

Maybe what k*lled them is what k*lled the Martins.

In an interview in the San Francisco Chronicle-- October 31, 1996, if I recall correctly-- one Professor Gilbert Grissom revealed that as a boy, he collected dead animals he found in his Marina del Rey neighborhood and performed necropsies on them.

Hodges... I want you to stop stalking me.

Bitter almonds.

Cyanide crystals in the stomach lining.

Yeah, any time you need a sniffer to detect it, my nose has the cyanide gene.

What gene turned your nose brown?

Go ahead.

You can sew him up.

Will do.

And I'll notify next of kin, too.

Ugh.

GRISSOM: Cyanide is fast-acting.

If it k*lled the squirrels before the crystals were dissolved completely in their stomachs, you'd expect the same thing with the Martins.

I saw the Martins' stomach contents.

There were no white crystals.

Yeah, but maybe if it was ingested in a different manner.

Squirrels will eat anything.

If the Martins drank it, then that would explain the absence of crystals.

I already have Henry running an expanded tox panel.

Any minute now.

It's cooking.

It's coming right up.

Yeah.

You hear Hodges is looking for his own apartment?

Cut the old apron strings.

His mother finally kicked him out, huh?

Good for her.

Lethal levels of cyanide.

You can't just walk into a hardware store and pick some up.

What about pest control companies?

Can they get it?

Yeah.

And mining companies, uh, electroplaters, photographers, jewelry makers.

Thanks, Henry.

You can relax now.

Look, is this going to take long?

Depends on you.

'Cause I'm dealing with some really bad news.

I just found out my ex d*ed last night.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, apparently one of you guys blew him up with a stun g*n.

Kyle Planck is your ex?

Tell me, what is it that you two have against God's fur-covered creatures?

Is this about that damn cat?

For starters, yes.

Look, I like cats, all right?

It was an accident.

You can't just relocate ground squirrels.

Okay?

I mean, they're... they're disgusting.

And I'm an artist.

I need a certain environment to work in.

Does this environment give you access to cyanide?

I use potassium cyanide in electroplating.

All my work is custom.

And also to poison ground squirrels?

I mixed a little with a can of tuna.

And I put it out back.

But only in my yard.

All right, who knew the Martins' cat was going to find it?

What? Is that against the law?

Actually, irresponsible use of poison is against the law, as well as k*lling ground squirrels and k*lling neighbors.

What?

I didn't... I didn't k*ll them.

Look, we had neighbor issues.

Turn that damn thing off before I torch it!

You're driving all your squirrels into my yard.

All right, look, we're just trying to be humane here.

Now you use poison.

And you-you k*lled Shr dinger.

You should've kept your cat on your side of the fence, all right.

You're causing this problem, not me.

Just leave us alone!

I k*lled the squirrels.

And possibly their cat.

But I am not a m*rder*r.

I got nothing.

Try the bed.

That's...

Sorry. I was thinking of one of those, uh, bloodhounds in the old cartoons, "Sniffing awound to find da wabbit."

This is a gift.

Don't make it cheap.

Trail's gone cold.

So, they d*ed in this room.

In bed.

Give me a hand with the mattress.

Now, get down and sniff the rug.

It's all they ever want.

Pay dirt.

This carpet looks kind of new, right?

Yeah.

Definitely some combustion there.

It looks like they just laid the new carpet right on top of the old, which clearly limited the supply of oxygen.

The old carpet melted without bursting into flame.

Ironically, older carpets contained polyvinyl chloride used as a flame retardant.

So, when it got hot, it probably went into quantitative decomposition, which gave off gases, including hydrogen cyanide.

Field work dirty.

Dirty, dirty, dirty.

Oh! Come on!

Your k*ller's a ground squirrel?

In a way, I'd argue self-defense.

It was an old house.

The wood had desiccated.

The short circuit smoldered into the floor joists.

Is it bad when you start thinking none of this sounds too weird anymore?

Oh, it's a bit too freaky how these cases are connected.

Grissom, you always say that there's no such thing as coincidence.

There isn't.

WILLOWS: Oh, come on.

You got the guy that burst into flames just divorced from the woman who was fighting squirrel wars with the Martins.

SANDERS: Who had hired the exterminator whose dr*gs were turning everybody's blood green.

STOKES: And one of his green-blooded customers was Evelyn, Our Lady of Tin Foil, the last person that Kyle Planck touched before he d*ed.

There's one more connection.

Evelyn had 200 bucks.

I'm thinking that when she was run over, she was on her way to buy more thiocyte.

I think that Wayne Connor was with David Bohr, waiting for the money to arrive.

SANDERS: Only Evelyn never showed up.

Connor lost his temper, and Bohr k*lled him in a fight.

And it all started with Kyle Planck-- lonely guy with a gut full of moonshine.

String theory.

Grissom theory.

This is better than a bedtime story.

GRISSOM: String theory is "the theory of everything."

Quantum mechanics tells us about the very small.

The theory of relativity explains the immense.

String theory ties it all together.

It proposes that atomic particles are made up of infinitesimal, vibrating loops of energy-- or strings.

Each string vibrates at its own frequency-- like on a violin, producing "notes."

And these notes make up everything in the universe.

Cosmic symphony.

These strings have been combining and recombining ever since the big bang.

So, the connections between our victims-- or any of us-- are not that extraordinary.

But every one of them thought they were alone.

BROWN: Too bad they didn't know about Grissom's theory.

In a parallel universe, maybe they're all having breakfast together.

In this universe, maybe we are.

STOKES: Yeah.

And you're buying.

No strings attached.