01x05 - Chuck Versus the Sizzling Shrimp

[bunniefuu]

Morgan: Chinese.

Chuck;,Chinese?

Morgan: Oh, yeah, man.

That's what "An evening with Morgan" is all about.

You didn't forget to tell her, did you?

Chuck: About "An evening with Morgan?"

No. No, no, no, no. Of course not. No.

She's been looking forward to it all week.

When are we going to hang out with your "funny little friend?"

Morgan; Yeah? She says that?

Good, good, good.

Make sure her head's in the game, okay?

This is kind of her big sh*t to prove to me she has something to bring to this relationship.

Feel me?

Chuck: Hey, nothing but feeling you.

Morgan: Good, good, good.

"an evening with Morgan" will begin at 7:00 sharp.

Bring your "a" game.

Love ya, pal.

Sarah: "an evening of Morgan"?

Chuck; Okay, so here's the thing.

He's my best friend, and I haven't really gotten to spend any time with him or Ellie this week, and so he really wanted the whole bunch of us to hang out tonight.

Sarah:,For "an evening of Morgan"?

Casey: I thought being stationed in the khyber pass for six months was brutal.

Chuck: If you're so sad about not being included, Casey, you can just say so.

Casey: Dinner with you and Morgan?

I'd rather afghani warlords bleed me from my liver.

Chuck; He's a happy person.

I appreciate that about him-- and he works hard, so...

Morgan: "an evening with Morgan" will consist of three acts.

Act one, dinner.

Sarah: What are we having?

Morgan: A little delicacy called sizzling shrimp.

That's right. That's right.

We're going to pack our bellies so full of shrimp you're going to make a seal jealous.

Sarah: Wow! Sounds like quite a night.

Morgan: Oh, and that's just the beginning.

Dinner will be followed by a screening over at Chuck's of the greatest kung fu film ever made.

Morgan: Enter the dragon.

Chuck: Enter the dragon.

Prepare to die, my bearded friend.

Morgan: Bring it. Bring it on.

Come on. Come on.

What are you doing?

Okay, and the third act can only be found here in chinatown.

There he is. Be cool.

Chuck; Hey, wait a minute.

I thought you were off this stuff, buddy.

Morgan: Yeah? Well, I'm sorry, Chuck. Right?

Daddy needs his fix, you know? Dude.

Chuck: You know how I feel about fireworks!

Morgan: You know what? To defeat fear, one must embrace fear.

Chuck: I'd rather embrace my limbs.

Specifically, all of them.

No fireworks. No sale.

Morgan; Well, can I say something?

This evening gets as asterisk, okay?

We've still got our shrimp on, though.

No, no, no, no. You got to be kidding me. They can't be closed.

"an evening with Morgan" has to at least include sizzling shrimp.

Sarah: Morgan, it's okay. We'll do it another time.

Morgan: No, no. I got this. I got this.

Lucky for us, I got connections.

Chuck: Well, got to give him points for effort.

Morgan: My friend juan, he's a dishwasher.

Leaves his keys for me in case of emergencies.

Chuck; Hey, we got to make this quick. Ellie's waiting for us.

Morgan: You hear that sizzle?

Like the sound of angels' laughter.

Wait here.

Chuck: That waitress.

She's mei-ling cho, chinese intelligence.

Never stepped foot on u. S. Soil before.

Morgan: Sizzling shrimp, anyone?

Sarah: My god!

Morgan: Well, you can just call me Morgan, babe, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.

Casey: This the woman you saw tonight?

Chuck; Yeah.

Casey: Read through these.

Twice. Let us know if you flash on anything.

Call the director. Tell him we got a priority code orange.

Chuck: Guys, is there any way that this can wait until morning?

'Cause I kind of have a priority code Ellie and Morgan.

They're waiting for us for dinner.

Casey: China's top spy is in los angeles.

We don't know why she's here, what she's planning to do.

You, my friend, may be the only one who can figure that out.

That's your priority. Copy?

Chuck; Copy.

Chuck. S01E05

Chuck: Hey, sis.

Good morning.

Ellie: Uh Huh

Chuck; Or not.

Could you pass the berry loops?

Ellie: Are you sure you don't want any sizzling shrimp?

Chuck: Right.

Ellie; You know, 'cause we have a whole lot of that left over.

Chuck; 'Cause I got back late last night.

Ellie: This is the point I'm trying to make.

Chuck: And you're making it very well, I want you to know that.

Ellie: You know, it's one thing to let several pounds of shrimp go to waste, it's another to stand me up, but to leave me with Morgan?

Chuck: And i-i-i feel terrible about that, believe me, I do.

You know how much I adore sizzling shrimp.

And you.

More specifically you.

It's just... Sarah wasn't feeling well, and...

Ellie: Oh, well, what is it? I'm a doctor.

Chuck: I believe, uh, she had a spastic colon.

Ellie: Yuck.

Chuck; I know.

A girl that beautiful with a colon that spastic...

Ellie: Well, you know what tomorrow is.

Chuck: Absolutely, yes.

It's our, our very own october version of mother's day, and I wouldn't miss it for the world, I swear.

Ellie: I should hope not.

But then again, I never figured that you would pass on sizzling shrimp, either.

???

Chuck: So I went over the department of defense files on mei-ling again this morning.

Sorry, no flashes.

Casey: Well, she's here for a reason.

Maybe you'll flash on something tonight.

Chuck; Tonight?

Casey: Yeah, we're running a surveillance op on her.

We're gonna tail her, see if you flash on anyone she's talking to.

Might tell us why she's here.

Chuck: My first stakeout. Okay.

Okay, yeah. What do I need to bring? Sweater? Light jacket?

Casey: No, you just bring that computer in your head.

Chuck: Okay, you know what?

I have a lot more to offer this team, other than the intersect.

For instance, what are we doing for tunes tonight?

I can make a stakeout mix.

Big Mike: John.

Need all the green shirts in my office, on the double.

Chuck: Have fun.

That's really not... Fair.

Big Mike: Sales are down, people.

There's too much horsing around.

And what this team needs is some good old-fashioned motivation.

Morgan: I couldn't agree with you more, big man.

Big Mike: 24 hour sales competition. Starting now.

First prize-- iphone.

Second prize-- large pizza, two toppings.

Third prize...

Morgan: Don't even say small pizza, all right?

'Cause that's not a prize. That's a punishment.

I eat a small pizza and not only am I still hungry, I'm angry, and you wouldn't want me hungry and angry, all right, 'cause then I get kind of cranky, then I get a little mean, then I kind of get sleepy.

Big Mike: Third prize is you get to keep your job.

Last prize... You're fired.

Morgan: Doesn't sound like much of a prize either, am I right?

Let me show you the deluxe model, okay?

Now, supposedly, this baby makes delicious milkshakes.

You probably want to hold off on the calories some, hoss.

Let me show you the exercise equipment.

They're actually right over here, so...

If it's for the game, buy the big screen, man.

Game's over, return it.

Break it, kick a freakin' hole in the thing.

Money back guarantee, dude.

We'll even pick it up for you.

This is crazy.

I know I'm the salesman, but, uh, how much you want for your shirt?

'Cause I've been looking for something to go with my beard, you know, and this thing is just... Actually, you know what?

Let me see the label. Can I just...

Big Mike; Grimes!

You are the worst salesmen I've ever seen.

Vultures are circling. Get it in gear!

Morgan: We're in trouble, Chuck.

Harry tang's plan to eliminate us has gone into full effect.

Chuck: The sales competition?

Morgan: Yeah, man. -

You think you can carve out about an hour after work, help me with my sales technique?

Chuck: Tonight?

Morgan: Yeah.

Chuck: I'm sorry, buddy. No can do.

I already made plans with Sarah tonight.

Morgan: Okay, all right.

Tomorrow, me and you, a little Morgan time, huh?

Chuck: Tomorrow I've got mother's day with Ellie.

I could only miss that if there was a major national emergency.

So to speak.

Morgan: Listen to me, Chuck.

Dude, it's me, all right?

Now, I'm begging you here.

I'm-i'm on my knees.

You know, hat in hand, that sort of thing.

Help me, Chuck Bartowski, you're my only hope.

Chuck: Okay, okay.

I'm going to go out with Sarah tonight, i'm going to try and wrap that up early enough to get back here, help you and then I'll hang out with Ellie tomorrow...

Yeah, yeah, I think I can make that work.

Morgan: I knew I could count on you, bro.

Chuck: I hope so.

Casey: Hey, we have a bogey at 6:00 here.

Delivery guy: Uh, excuse me. Someone send in an order for sizzling shrimp?

A Mr. Carmichael?

Chuck:;Yeah. Yeah, that's me. That's me. I'll take that.

Thank you very much.

You go ahead and keep the change.

Delivery guy: Thank you. .

Chuck: Have a good night.

What? It's for Morgan. I called it in.

Casey: The idea behind a stakeout is to remain inconspicuous, you moron.

Chuck: Uh, hello?

That's why I used an alias.

Sarah: Hey, I think we have some company.

Chuck: Who's that?

Casey: Old ironside is ben lo pan.

He's the local big sh*t businessman.

Owns, like, half of chinatown.

Sarah; And there's mei-ling.

We're on.

Chuck: Hey, hey, hey, she's gonna get ahead of us.

Sarah; No, we're good.

Always leave a 30-yard cushion from your target on the tail.

She's following ben lo pan's limo.

Chuck: Oh, a tail on a tail.

Does that mean, like, a 60-yard cushion or would you say the regular tail rules apply in this situa...

Casey: Glocks on a crotch rocket. My kind of gal.

Chuck: Those aren't glocks.

They're chinese army-issue pistols.

She's not here on a spy mission.

She's here to assassinate the guy in the wheelchair.

Casey; You sure?

Chuck: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. You know, locked away in the brain here.

I mean, I'm not bragging. The intersect's doing all the heavy lifting.

Sarah: Okay, we can't wait for the cops.

By the time they get here, mei-ling or ben lo pan may be dead or both.

Casey: Mei-ling could be a small part of a larger operati0n.

We need her alive. We want to find out what she knows.

We catch her, the chinese spy has a lot we'd love to hear.

All right, Chuck, pull the car around front.

Chuck: What? Around the front? Then what do I do?

Sarah: Stay in the car.

Chuck: My four favorite words.

Morgan: Hi-o.

Ellie: Chuck's not here, Morgan.

Morgan: My four favorite words.

Ellie: Get out.

Morgan: Not favorites, but at least we're dialoguing.

Ellie: He's on a date with Sarah. I'll tell him you stopped by.

Morgan: I would appreciate that.

He's supposed to be helping me right now.

If I don't become a better salesman by tomorrow night, I could get fired.

Although, I guess I could just crash here until I land on my feet.

Ellie: As inspired as that makes me to help you, I would rather just change the locks.

Morgan: I'll let myself out.

Ellie: Now my four favorite words.

Chuck: I'm gonna get ya. I'm gonna get ya.

Oh, don't eat me! Boy, you're dead.

Come on.

♪ private eyes, they're watching you, they see...

Chuck: stakeouts are kinda fun.

Sarah: The bar's crowded. Is he here?

Casey: No.

Bouncer; Hey, you on the list?

Hands in the air now!

Casey: Easy. Federal agents.

Against the wall.

Sarah: Come on. You're making a big mistake.

Your boss is in danger.

Sarah;,They think we're with her.

Casey; What?

Sarah: They think we're with her.

No k*ll sh*t.

Casey:,I hate playing nice.

Chuck: g*nshots. g*nshots.

Listen to Sarah and Casey; stay in the car.

Hey, the wheelchair guy.

Hey, let me help you get out of here.

Ben Lo Pan: Yeah, help me! Help me!

A lady's trying to k*ll me.

My car, this way.

I think I'm fine now.

Chuck: Here, here you go.

Chuck: Why is he tied up?

Ben: Throw him in the trunk!

Chuck: What? The trunk?

That's not very... Nice.

Why would you...

Me Iing: Where are they taking him?

Chuck; I don't know! I don't know!

Mei ling: You work for him?

Chuck: What? No, no, no, wait-- hold on a second.

I was just trying to help an old guy in a wheelchair, who puts people in trunks.

Mei ling: You idiot.

That old man is triad.

Chinese mafia.

That was my brother he threw in the trunk!

Chuck: Your brother?

You were trying to...

Mei ling:,Rescue him.

Until you got in the way.

Sarah: Federal agent! Drop your g*n!

Chuck : No, no, no! No, no, no, s-sar-Sarah...

Sarah: Chuck, are you okay?

Chuck: Yeah.

Sarah: Are you hurt?

Chuck: No.

Casey: What the hell just happened?

Chuck: She was just trying to rescue her brother.

I guess I was wrong. ????

What, are we carpooling now?

Casey: Just heard back from washington.

They confirmed mei-ling's story.

Her brother lee cho's a low-level bureaucrat from beijing.

He was kidnapped on a business trip to l. a.

By local triads.

Sarah: The chinese received a ransom call asking for the release of a triad captain in beijing.

They refused.

Sarah: Mei-ling was here on her own.

Her government never signed off on a rescue op.

Chuck: What's the connection to the guy in the wheelchair?

Sarah: Well, the feds have always suspected that he had triad roots, but they could never prove it.

Chuck: Okay, so what do we do now?

Casey:,Nothing. We stay out of it.

Chuck: Hold on a second.

I watched that guy get stuffed into a trunk.

And it's because I got it wrong.

Casey: We're not going to start an international incident over someone not even the chi-coms care about.

Let it go, Chuck, huh?

Chuck: Sarah, I screwed up, okay? It's my fault.

Her brother's going to die, and it's all my fault.

Sarah: No, it's her fault.

She went off the grid and she disobeyed orders coming here.

Chuck;,Yeah, but her superiors didn't even give her a choice. Come on!

Sarah, I'd have done the same thing, if it was Ellie. I'd have done the same thing.

Minus the sh**ting apart the club part.

Sarah; I know how you feel.

It was hard for me, too, when I first started.

But the truth is we can't save everyone, Chuck.

Lester: Big mike must not have been clear about how a sales competition works.

The idea here, Morgan, um, is to sell things.

Morgan: I can't get fired.

How will I eat?

I'll starve on the soup line.

I hate soup, all right?

Soup is not a meal.

It's hardly an appetizer, for god's sake.

Jeff: Can I have your locker, dude?

Lester:,I call his buy more windbreaker.

Jeff: Fine, but I get his name tag.

Lester: Fine.

Morgan: Can I say something?

You guys need me, okay?

'Cause with me gone, someone else is going to have to be the butt of all the jokes.

Let me tell you something, jeff, you don't want to carry that mantle.

Maybe you do want to carry that mantle.

Lester: We'll take that mantle.

Morgan ·,Right?

Yes.

Listen, you're not gonna let me take the b*llet on this one, right, guys?

Lester: Yes. Absolutely. Nice knowing you.

Chuck: Nerd herd. Bartowski speaking.

Mei-ling: I'm looking at you right now.

Chuck: Oh, you're looking at me right now.

Who is this?

Mei ling: Let's just say you owe me.

For ruining my rescue operation.

Chuck: Mei-ling.

Mei-ling: put your hand down.

If you signal your friend, it's the last thing you'll ever do.

By the way, nice mustard stain.

Chuck: Where are you?

Mei ling:,Not near the sorority girls

Chuck: What exactly do you want?

Mei ling: The triads put a clock on my brother's life.

He dies in nine hours, if I don't do something.

Chuck: Okay, yeah, about that. About that.

Listen, I'm really, really sorry.

And if there's anything that I can do to make up for it...

Mei ling: Help me rescue him.

Morgan:,I'm a dead man.

Dude, I'm in last place in the sales competition.

If you do not help me, I am gonna get fired.

Mei ling:,One word to him and you're a dead man too.

Chuck: Not now, Morgan, please.

I have a really, really upset customer.

Dit!

Listen to me. Listen to me.

I'm a good samaritan.

I just helped the wrong guy.

I help people run computers, not rescue operations.

Mei ling: I tailed you and your handlers.

You have a team watching your every step, which means you can help, and you will.

I'll be in touch soon.

Chuck: Hello? Hello...

Want a hot dog?

It's an emergency.

So, listen, I've been thinking a lot about last night.

And, you know, you guys were talking about how the spy could be valuable to us.

So, I was thinking, what if we could convince her to, I don't know, like, uh, give up some secret stuff...

Sarah: You mean defect?

Chuck: Defect!Yes!

People do that kind of thing all the time, right?

the hunt for red october. white nights. white nights-- gregory hines, baryshnikov, dancing their way to freedom.

Casey;,Well, as long as you've done serious research on the subject.

You get her to defect, I'll help rescue her brother personally.

Sarah: Why are you bringing this up?

Chuck: Well, she sort of...

Just... Called me.

Casey: She called you? Where?

Chuck: At the buy more.

I think she might've been in the store, too, because she knew my every move.

She even knew that I had mustard on my tie.

What? Hey, where are we... Wait a minute!

Hey!Hey, Morgan... Hey, buddy.

Listen, I'm really sorry about last night.

I got home really late.

Morgan: Yeah, don't sweat it, man. It's just my livelihood at stake.

Chuck:?What about tonight? Maybe after mother's day.

Morgan: Working a double shift, you know.

It's my last chance to kind of make enough sales to, uh, not get fired.

Thanks, though, pal.

Jeff: Chuck...

There's a delivery of hard drives in the storage cage you need to sign for.

Chuck;,Great. Thank you... Jeff.

Casey: Where's Chuck?

Jeff: Storage cage signing for a delivery.

Casey: I thought deliveries come at 6:00.

Jeff:,I guess they got here early, dude.

Chuck:,Oh, hey, I think that's for me.

Please tell me that's not real.

The g*n, not the clipboard.

Mei ling:,Real enough?

Chuck:,Listen, listen, they agreed to help if you would just defect.

Mei ling: What?

Chuck: It's really not that bad here, you know.

The chinese food's pretty good. Have you tried sizzling shrimp?

Sarah: Drop the g*n! Drop it!

Let go...

Mei ling: sh**t me, I sh**t him.

Chuck: Hey, hey, I got an idea.

How about a new plan that involves less sh**ting.

Casey... Casey...

You agreed to help if she defected, right?

Mei ling: I would never...

Casey: Why? Too much loyalty to your government?

The same one that left your brother for dead?

Mei ling; If I defect, I can never go back to china.

I will never see my brother again.

Chuck:?And if you don't, you'll lose him forever. And you don't want that.

Guys... Promise mei-ling you'll help rescue her brother if she defects. Please.

Please?

Casey;,Promise. Now let the kid go.

Mei ling: How do I know I can trust you?

Casey: You don't have any other choice.

Casey: This is the floor plan of ben lo pan's estate.

Mei ling: My intel says they're holding my brother here...

Near the center of the mansion.

Casey: Getting in is one thing, getting out is going to be the real trick.

Lo pan's got a private army of security guards.

When the alarms go, they'll be on us like white on...

Sarah: Thank you, Casey.

Chuck: Hey, what up, sis?

Ellie: Oh, good.

Did you remember to defrost the chicken?

Chuck: You know that I did. And you know why?

Because it's mother's day and I'm here for you.

Chuck: Prodigal brother returns.

You need some help?

Ellie: Yes. Thanks.

So this will be fun-- just you and i.

Chuck: It's been a while. It's been too long.

But tonight is all about brother-sister bonding.

You know, catching up. Catching up, by the way, with no distractions.

And as soon as I answer this call, I will turn it off, I swear.

Hello.

Casey: It's Casey.

Get over here. I want to see if you flash on anything.

Ellie: What was that?

Chuck: Nothing, nothing.

It's Casey-- john Casey my coworker. He needs some help with decorating tips.

Ellie: Like color swatches? I could help with that.

Chuck:,No, no, no, no, no, no. You don't want to... x No, that's very thoughtful of you, I really appreciate that.

But he's a guy's guy. You know, he wants a man's opinion.

He's a hunter, so he's really into hunting and he doesn't quite know which deer to mount, on...

Ellie; Well, you have a couple of hours before dinner, so...

I need to focus on the kitchen anyway.

Chuck: You sure?

Ellie; Yeah.

Oh, you know what, why don't you take him some of my special guacamole.

You know, like as a housewarming gift.

Chuck: That...

Wow, thank you, sis.

That's really thoughtful of you.

Ellie: Just make sure to keep it away from Sarah.

This is definitely not good for her spastic colon.

Chuck:,Yes, you're... Got it, right. Yeah, the spastic...

Okay, I promise I will be back by 8:00. I promise.

Hi. Hey, I brought Ellie's secret recipe.

Just trying to help out the mission any way that I can.

Can't really stay.

Casey;?There are at least ten guards we know of stationed at these points here, here, here.

Sarah: The security cameras are tkx-50's.

They're a little outdated, but they're equipped for remote access.

Either of you familiar with them?

Chuck: I am.

Yeah, we used to sell them at buy more.

Did a bunch of installs a few years back.

They're pretty easy to access.

Mei ling:,Good.

Every warm body helps.

Chuck: I'm sorry... Me?

No, no, no, no, no.

Look, as much as I wish that I could help you, I can't.

I made plans with my sister that are nonnegotiable.

But, of course, I know that you wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me.

I want to be with my sister and you obviously really want to be with your brother.

We're like one big whacky transatlantic family.

I owe you. I'm in.

Sarah: Okay, fine.

But you don't leave the van under any circumstances.

Chuck: I just need to be home by 8:00, if that's at all possible.

Casey: Chuck? Chuck? Chuck, am I coming through?

Chuck: Yep, I gotcha.

♪ oh, hey, we have liftoff!

Lester:,Oh!Half a big gulp. New record.

Jeff: I am spartacus.

Morgan: Hey, guys.

Kind of need your help.

Lester: Oh, last in the sales competition, Chuck not here to bail you out this time?

Morgan: Why else would I be here?

Lester; You know, by helping you out, aren't we...

Aren't we messing with the laws of nature?

I mean, the weak die, and the...

The strong prevail.

Jeff: Who are we to play god?

Morgan: I'll give you half my pizza if I get into second place.

Jeff:,The wounded raccoon.

Lester:,The wounded raccoon.

Morgan:,Don't know what that is, but whatever works.

Whatever w...

Watch this.

That's a great product, huh?

It's two gigs of memory. Extended warranty.

Customer: Yeah, it's a little pricey, but you know what? I'll take it.

It's a gift for my sick nephew.

Morgan: Sick nephew, huh?

Tell you what.

Don't tell anybody, but it's on sale at large mart.

Save yourself 50 bucks.

Customer: You'd give up a sale just to save me $50? That's so sweet.

Morgan:,Ah, just, uh...

Customer: You know what? Here.

Call me sometime for coffee.

Morgan; Wow, I will. Coffee s-sounds great.

Lester: Look at the little man.

Lester: So weak. So pathetic.

Jeff : And you wonder why you're last in sales and about to get fired?

Lester:,Maybe if you spent your time selling merchandise instead of trolling for phone numbers you wouldn't be flat broke, and living with your mother and be forced to...

To pick leftovers out of the garbage so that you can eat.

Customer: Can I have my number back, please?

Morgan: Well, let me just...

Are you kidding me? What was that?

Jeff: The wounded raccoon.

Lester:,Yeah, you-you berate and humiliate the salesman in front of the customer, like so, which i-i thought we did very well.

And the customer feels so bad, that they'll, they'll buy anything.

It's the-the pity sale.

Jeff: Always wondered if it worked.

Guess not.

Lester; No, it does not. It does not.

Sarah: All right, listen, the guards are looking at a static loop.

You're our eyes, Chuck.

If you see any trouble coming, you let us know.

Chuck: Got it. Let's just make this quick. 7:15's my curfew.

Sarah: Okay, we're going inside.

Casey: Chuck, what do you see?

Chuck: Uh... Let's see... x Okay, I've got, I've got one guard by himself at the security monitors.

Casey: Thank you.

Chuck; Good, good, good work, but let's not get cocky, huh, team?

Casey:,Shut up, Chuck. What's next?

Chuck: Right, right... Looking... Looking... Looking...

Okay, okay.

I've got, I've got three guards in the kitchen area.

Sarah: We see them.

Chuck:Be careful. They're, they're bigger than the first guy.

All right, kicking butt.

Casey: What happened to "don't get cocky"?

Chuck: My bad. Professional faux pas.

Wait, hey, hey, hey, what happened?

I-i lost all visual on the security cameras.

Guys? Guys?

All I can see is what Casey's lipstick camera is picking up.

Casey:,Put down the book, ironside. Hands up.

Chuck: Guys, if you're seeing this, you might want to run.

Casey:,You think?

Ben:,Perfect timing, mei-ling.

Your government has just refused my final offer for your brother.

Hopefully they will change their minds, now that I have two american agents to barter with.

Chuck:,Sarah?

Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Casey: Chuck, it's Casey. Don't talk. I can't hear you. Go home. Repeat: go home.

Do not call the cops; don't do anything. Go home.

Chuck; Casey? Casey?

Chuck: They're taking them to the bamboo dragon.

Chuck: Okay, okay. All right.

What are the rules for tailing?

Tail rules.

30... 30 yards.

Or was it 30 feet?

I should've taken notes.

Chuck: Oh, god.

♪ ♪

Ellie: Hey, Chuck, it's Ellie.

Well, you've officially missed mother's day, which is a first, I might add.

I just... I don't know what happened to you tonight, or... in general.

You know, the least that you could have done was call.

Anyway, um...

Forget it. Bye.

Morgan: Let me guess, Chuck's not here, right?

Ellie:,That is becoming common around here.

Morgan: Yeah, tell me about it.

Ellie: I can't believe Chuck missed mother's day.

You know, all I wanted was for him to meet a great girl, and he finally did, and now I never see him.

Morgan: You know what?

Maybe we sit Chuck down and force him to break up with Sarah, you know?

Dump her completely.

Who needs her?

Kidding. Kidding, kind of.

Ellie; It's not that I'm not happy for him, I just miss him.

Morgan: No, I get it.

Chuck's been through some tough times.

Getting kicked out of stanford, and then jill breaking up with him.

You know, you got him through all that, and no one knows that better than he does, believe me.

Ellie: How are things at work?

Morgan: Oh, awful. Thank you for asking.

There's this, uh, sales competition, and I'm pretty much last.

Ellie: So what are you gonna do?

Morgan; Same thing I always do: get fired.

Ellie: Are you sure that you want to do that?

Morgan:,Truth is, Chuck and I always complain how boring the buy more is.

So tomorrow I'm just gonna go up to big mike and do the only honorable thing left to do.

Ellie: What's that?

Morgan: Well, what any respectable warrior like bruce lee would do: fall on my sword.

Hari-kari.

Fire myself.

Ellie: You mean resign?

Morgan: Yeah, okay, that sounds better, I guess.

Chuck: Oh, god...

Please let me keep my fingers.

Okay, Okay

Come on. Come on.

You can yell at me later.

This is the part where we hide.

Ben lo pan's getting away.

Wait here, wait here.

Forget it, ben.

It's chinatown. You ever see that movie?

Ellie...

Ellie, I am so, so, so sorry.

Ellie: What happened, Chuck?

Were you kidnapped or something?

Chuck: Me?

No. No, no.

I, uh, went over to Casey's.

Ellie: I went to Casey's, Chuck.

No one was there.

When did we start keeping secrets from one another?

Chuck; You know what, look, if-if you'll just...

If you'll just let me explain...

Ellie: There's no need-- I figured it out.

I know.

Chuck: You do?

Ellie: You have another girlfriend for a long time, and you're in love.

Chuck: Yeah.

I am...

Ellie: Lying to me.

Missing our most important day like... Like you're in high school.

I mean, do you even know that Morgan's about to be fired?

Chuck: Ellie, I can't apologize enough.

I...

Everything that you're saying is right.

I guess that I'm just so, um... I'm, I'm so head over heals, um, that I'm not thinking straight, you know?

Ellie: Listen, I know that this is the first big thing to happen to you in a while.

And you feel like your life isn't going anywhere.

Your job's not either, and you're not superman out there saving the day.

But you're good person, Chuck.

You're a good brother and you're a good friend.

Don't lose that.

Chuck: Do you think, do you think maybe that we could, uh... Reschedule mother's day, like, tomorrow?

I know that that is ridiculously unorthodox I get that, and I know that it's my fault that we even have to do it, but, um, I mean it is our holiday.

So, I think we could make up around the rules.

Ellie: I say, yes, you'll be there.

Chuck: I promise.

Ellie: You know, if there's anything going with you-- life, girl, job-- you can come to me.

Big Mike: What's that?

Morgan: My letter of resignation.

Big Mike: You got a new job?

Morgan: No.

Big Mike: Didn't t think anyone else is stupid enough to hire you.

So what's up?

Morgan; I'm last in the competition.

Yeah, I know it's a shock that I'm last, but...

Here we are.

And now I fall on my sword.

Head high, dignity intact.

It's the shaolin way.

Lester: Hey, 'Morgan

There's a whale on the line demanding to see you.

Morgan: Yeah, a fish is calling?

Lester; No, you, bearded buffoon.

A big spender.

She wants to see you at checkout.

Morgan: Ellie?

Ellie: Hey.

I already know what I'm getting Chuck and devon for their birthdays, so I figured I'd do some shopping early.

Cashier: That'll be $733. 42, ma'am.

Did anyone help you?

Ellie: He did.

Morgan: I... Love you.

Big man, knock wood.

I’m not quitting; No.

Big Mike: Good.

You're my only hispanic on the sales team.

You quit, the affirmative action g*ons will be all over my ass.

Morgan: O-kay.

Well, listen, I sold over $700 worth of stereo equipment.

Puts me in second place.

Means somebody owes me a pizza with two toppings.

Big Mike: Pizza's for me, partner.

Morgan: Do I get an iphone?

Big Mike; I don't even get a free iphone.

You think I'd give you jerks one?

Morgan: There are no prizes?

Big Mike: And no one's getting fired.

The competition was to get you bums to work hard.

Looks like it worked.

♪

Chuck: Look, I'm... I'm sorry, you guys.

I know that you wanted me to go home, but i...

I just couldn't, you know.

Casey: We just turned one of china's top spies.

Sarah: And you helped save her brother.

So, good work, Chuck.

Chuck: Well , I'd better be going.

Got my own family reunion to attend.

Mei ling : Thank you... Chuck.

Chuck:,Oh, yeah, hey... Don't... Don't mention it.

You're welcome.

Uh, but before you go, would you mind, uh, would you mind signing this?

Mei ling: What is that?

Chuck; Oh, it just says that I was off-site fixing your computer and that you're satisfied with the level of customer service I provided.

Morgan: Hey, Chuck!

Chuck: Morgan?

Morgan, what are you do...

Bu-buddy, I know that I haven't been around lately, and/or really been the best of friend, but, uh, you know that Ellie and I have...

Morgan: Mother's day, man, I know... I get it.

Ellie; Okay, hey, it's okay. I invited him.

Morgan: Yeah, yeah, and I told you he's gonna come walking through that door, didn't i?

He's such a good kid.

I'm going to get some glasses.

Chuck: What the...

Ellie: We bonded over an "i miss Chuck" moment.

Chuck: Did you?

Where's, uh, where's awesome?

Ellie: He couldn't get off work.

That must be Sarah.

Chuck: What, you invited her, too?

Ellie: Well, I mean, she's your new best gal. How could I not?

Chuck: Ellie, you know you'll always be my best gal.

Ellie: Don't take this the wrong way, Chuck, but I hope not.

Chuck; Yeah, Morgan, now sara?

It used to be just the two of us.

Ellie: Well, we're growing up.

Sarah: Ellie invited me. She, uh, insisted that I come.

So, uh, mother's day.

Chuck: Yes, mother's day, that's right.

You don't really know...

Mother's day is the anniversary of the day our mom...

Left us.

Our dad was here but he was never really here.

So, now, every year we celebrate the day we learnt how to take care of ourselves.

Ellie: And rely on each other.

Morgan: Ellie, here I come.

Chuck: I think we're gonna need some more champagne, .

I heard you came in second place, thanks to Ellie.

Morgan: Chuck, I've been slow playing for years, you know, and just sort of waiting in second position until she pretty much couldn't resist me anymore.

Chuck: Is that right?

Morgan: Yeah. Yeah.

I would have liked your blessing before I marry her.

Chuck: Oh, well, you know, whatever Ellie wants.

Morgan: I know, but are you ready to be my brother-in-law?

Have a few Morgan bartowskis running around?

Or Ellie barettas?

I would change my last name to baretta for her, you know, ' cause I think she deserves a last name that cool.

You know, Ellie macgyver or Ellie headroom, Ellie rambo or...

She's behind me right now, isn't she?

Chuck: Mm-hmm.

Morgan: Heard everything?

Chuck: Pretty much, yeah.

Morgan: I guess I'm going home.

Chuck: I can't believe it.

For 12 whole hours, my best friend and my sister actually got along.

Ellie: A mother's day miracle.

Chuck; Happy mother's day.