01x11 - Chuck Versus the Crown Vic

[bunniefuu]

Chuck: Hi, I'm Chuck. Here's a few things that you might need to know.[/i]

It was nice knowing you.

Sarah: Oh, my God. Bryce.

Chuck: How the hell are you still alive?

Bryce: It's complicated.

You're still in love with me.

Chuck: I guess this means we're not getting back together.

Bryce: We'll always have Omaha.

Chuck: what did Bryce mean by omaha?

Casey: Probably a code. Contact point of some sort.

Bryce is going deep, Chuck. No calls home, no messages out.

If Sarah wants to join up with him, she has to do it now.

Green shirt guy; What... what is that?

What's that wiggly thing?

Green shirt guy: What did I even bet on?

Lester: Gimel! I win.

Green shirt guy; Aw...

You sure?

Lester: Yes. Yes.

Gimel beats high. Pay up, buddy.

Anna: I thought high was the best.

Lester: Yes, I know you think so, but, Anna, this is the Parcheesi of my people, all right?

Don't question my spirituality. Now hand over the cash.

I apologize...

Casey; Decided to take up bird watching?

Chuck: Just breathing in the view.

I know that grunt.

Yeah, that's the number seven, right?

Skeptical with a side of cynicism.

Casey: Just clearing my throat.

Also couldn't help but notice, Agent Walker's car isn't in her usual spot.

Chuck: Oh... I didn't, uh...

It's weird, I didn't even notice.

I didn't even see that, at all.

Fine. Maybe I did.

So, have you talked to Sarah lately?

Casey: Agent Walker and I don't do a lot of fraternizing off hours.

Guess we'll just have to see.

Chuck: See... See what... what-what... See what?

Casey: See if she's had enough of the good life here with you.

See if she's hightailed it to wherever your buddy Bryce is hiding himself.

Chuck; Is that, uh, is that an option?

Casey: Oh, don't worry.

I hear there's a great selection of new handlers in this year's CIA Christmas catalogue.

Chuck; Are there? Thanks a lot.

Morgan: She's a liar, not to be trusted.

Chuck: What's that?

Morgan: Women.

Man, they're so elusive, so unknowable.

Okay, they wrap you in this wool sweater of lies and it keeps you warm, but it makes your neck all itchy.

Chuck: Who-Who are we talking about exactly?

Morgan; Anna. And by the way, never trust a woman whose name is a palindrome, okay?

Chuck: Uh, how do you know she's a liar?

Morgan: I waited outside her house last night, in the bushes.

I saw her get picked up to go out, then dropped off exactly three hours and 24 minutes later.

She's cheating on me.

My Anna Banana is cheating on me.

Chuck; In the bushes?

Morgan: I brought a sandwich.

Chuck: Oh...

Morgan: Listen, she's lying to me, okay?

And a relationship is built on trust, Chuck.

Sex and trust, am I right?

Chuck: Yeah, yeah-- two big prerequisites, I guess.

Morgan: What's cool is you and Sarah are so pure and simple, you know?

You ever wish you were born like a dog or a dolphin?

Or Dr. Dre?

Who's cheating on Dre, man?

Lester: Chuckster.

Uh, we got an install job over at Marina Del Rey.

Chuck: Okay. Well, go with God, fellas.

Lester; No, no, no. Big Mike says you have to come with us, 'cause you know that Jeff's not to be left unsupervised around the holidays.

Jeff: Do you want to try my eggnog?

Chuck: No.

Morgan; I'm sorry, fellas.

Is it okay if you guys go by yourself, okay? 'Cause...

Anna's cheating on me.

Lester: Ouch. Who's the lucky guy?

Jeff: Maybe it's not another guy.

Chuck: Okay, let's strap on our life jackets and hit the Marina.

Lester: See, that's why I've sworn off women.

How'd you like to be that guy right now, all heartbroken over a lady?

Jeff: b*tches ain't nothing but tricks and hos.

Lester: You said it, bubeleh.

Chuck; Okay. Well, the system checks out and everything's on line.

Most onboard functions are now controllable from anywhere on the boat.

Lester: Nice ship.

It reminds me of the Pacific Princess.

Ship manager: I'm not familiar.

Lester: Oh, really?

Chuck: The LoveBoat--[/i] he's referring to The LoveBoat.

Lester: Shh! Chuck, please!

Jeff: You got a head on board?

I've had a lot of eggnog.

Chuck: Yeah, which you should've left at home, Jeff.

You know, not every boat you get on is a booze cruise, buddy.

Ship Manager: The bathroom is not in there.

Nobody downstairs!

Chuck; No, Jeff, wait...

Hey! back, jeff, no.

Jeff: Whoa!

Jackpot!

Ship manager: Please, get out. Get out!

Go! Go! Go!

Watch this step. Watch the what? Oh.

Lester: What's with all the cash?

Ship manager; Move.

Lester: Easy, sister...

Ship manager: I'm not your sister.

They're counting money raised for Mr. Kirk's aid organization, from a charity event.

Lester: Kirk? As in the captain?

Ship manager: Lon Kirk, the man who owns this boat.

Chuck: Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lon Kirk-- he's a billionaire.

He owns a country somewhere, or something, right?

Jeff: Incoming.

Lester: Oh...

Ladies, I'm getting my sea legs.

Chuck: Okay, Jeff, Lester, I think, uh, we should go now.

Sir, you dropped this...

They're fake.

Jeff; Whatever.

So is Cool Whip.

Ahoy hoy.

CHUCK 111

Director Graham: The serial numbers that Chuck flashed on are a strain of counterfeit currency that Treasury has been trying to cr*ck for years.

But perhaps we should wait to debrief you until Agent Walker arrives.

Director Beckman: Yes. Where is Agent Walker?

Casey: Uh, ma'am, Agent Walker is currently...

Chuck: She, uh...

Agent Walker is currently suffering from a spastic colon, which acts up on her own from time to time, so...

Beckman: She has no history of that.

Perhaps we should reschedule when Agent Walker is feeling better.

Sarah: I'm fine. I'm sorry I'm late. Carry on.

Graham: As we were saying...

Lon Kirk now devotes most of his time and money to aid projects, mostly foreign.

Casey: And we think he's the source?

Graham: Not confirmed.

However, we have intel that a major counterfeiter is in Los Angeles trying to acquire a new set of printing plates.

Casey: And how shall we proceed?

Beckman: As far as Kirk is concerned, very cautiously.

He's very well connected.

He's hosting a charity event tonight at the New Constellation Yacht Club.

Sarah and Chuck will go as guests.

Casey as staff.

Casey: One question: Will Chuck and Sarah be going as a couple?

Beckman: Unless they have a problem.

Chuck; No problem.

Sarah; No problem.

Beckman: Good luck then.

Chuck: Hey, hey, Sarah. Wait.

Sarah: What's up?

Chuck: Um...

Nothing.

Nothing, really.

Just, you know, good to, good to see you.

Thought you'd be halfway to Bryce by now.

Sarah: Why would you think that?

Chuck; I don't know, 'cause... he offers a pretty exciting life, I guess, sipping Mai Tai's in Jakarta, or... or... assassinating Afghani warlords, or whatever it is that you kids do for fun.

Sarah; I'm here because I have a job to do.

Chuck: Right.

Right. Of course, the job.

I better, uh, I better get going as well.

I gotta punch in.

Chuck: Sarah?

Sarah: Yeah?

Chuck: Should we, should we carpool on our date tonight?

Sarah: Be at my place at 8:00.

Big Mike: For those of you who are unaware, this Friday is our annual Buy More Christmas...

Lester: Hup!

Big Mike: ... holiday party, with respect to our Hebrew friends and whatever else we have here.

So there's no confusion, I'll go over the ground rules.

Rule number one: Jeff, no spiking the eggnog.

Jeff: Can I bring my own?

Big Mike; No!

Rule number two: Jeff, no holding the mistletoe over the women and copping a feel.

Chuck: Uh, sir, hopefully, if Jeff follows rule number one-- which I'm sure... he might do-- uh, then rule number two won't apply.

Big Mike: Good point.

Okay, who's bringing eats?

Lester; Uh, I'll be making latkes.

Big Mike: What's that?

Lester: Um, the traditional Jewish pancake.

Big Mike: They got 'tater in them?

Lester: Yes.

Big Mike: They fried?

Lester: They are, sir.

Big Mike: Good. Meeting adjourned!

Lester: We got to find out how to make latkes.

Anna: Hey, there you are.

You missed the meeting.

Morgan; Jeff has to stay sober and he can't grope women.

I know the drill.

Anna: Okay.

If you don't tell me what's up, I'm going to tickle you until you pee.

Morgan; Please... I don't, I don't want...

Cut it out. Stop it.

I know, okay.

You weren't home last night, Anna.

You went out. I was in the bushes at a stakeout with my iPod and corn beef.

Yeah, I know, it's a little weird, okay?

But I saw you get picked up.

I'm not an idiot, all right?

At least, not when it comes to this.

Anna: I'm sorry, Morgan.

I did lie.

Morgan: Oh, my God...

I think I'm going to be nauseous.

Anna: But I'm not seeing someone else.

Morgan: Please, I saw you get into the guy's German luxury sedan.

It's bad enough that you're cheating, but did it have to be with someone so successful?

Anna: Morgan... my parents are in town.

That was my dad's car.

Morgan; Wait a minute, I thought your parents lived in Taiwan.

Anna:They do... mostly.

They're just in town with a bunch of Taiwanese government muckety-mucks for a charity thing in L.A.

Morgan: Well, then, I'd like to meet your parents, all right?

And I think if you're serious about this relationship, you should want me to meet them, too.

Anna: Okay.

Morgan: Okay.

Casey: Hey!

Chuck: Would you stop sneaking up on me like that?

This is a retail store, okay, buddy, not Tora Bora.

Casey: Oh, Sarah's got you all up in a tizzy.

Flush out your headgear, new guy.

We both know the Intersect needs as much room up there as we can get.

Chuck; Okay, look, nothing is going on, okay?

Casey: Better not be. I need your "A" game tonight.

Stay sharp.

Morgan: Dude, I think I need your help here.

I think I made a horrible mistake.

Chuck: What did you swallow this time?

Morgan: No, no, it's worse. Worse.

Anna's parents are in town, right?

So I tell her, "Hey, I'd like to meet them. "

So she goes, "Okay. "

Are you kidding me? What was I thinking?

My own parents don't even like me.

We're similar.

Chuck: Morgan, Morgan, relax, buddy.

It's going to be fine. Just be yourself.

That's what Anna likes, right? So will her parents.

Morgan: Yeah.

Right, you're right; that's what I'm going to do.

Lester: Are you insane?

You can't be yourself.

You have to be better than yourself.

By, like, a factor of ten.

Jeff: Or eleven.

Morgan: I got to take it up a notch.

I got to step it up.

Who should I be?

Lester: Last I checked, there were over, like, six billion people on the planet.

Pick anyone.

Should be an improvement.

Chuck: lester, you shut up. Morgan, You, relax.

You're going to be fine.

Morgan: Be myself.

Rock and roll.

I'm going to make a fool of myself.

Sarah: It's open!

Chuck: Not a morning person, I see.

Sarah: Well, it depends on the morning.

So we're clear on everything?

Eyes and ears on anything that can trigger a flash.

Our cover is that we're a couple, you're...

Chuck; Charles Carmichael.

Yeah, I got it.

It should be pretty fun, right?

Sarah; It's work.

Chuck: That's okay. I got it.

Sarah: Okay, well, uh... ready to go to work?

Chuck: If you're expecting me to hit the tables tonight, I'm gonna need a no-interest spy loan or something like that.

You'd be shocked what a government super-computer pays these days.

Sarah: The CIA staked us. You have a hundred.

Chuck: Oh, well, that's ample.

Sarah: Since when do you drink martinis?

Chuck: Oh, oh, I don't, no.

But Carmichael loves them.

Sarah: There he is. Let's go.

Chuck: Ah! Roulette, eh?

My favorite game aside from "Call of Duty. "

Chips, please.

100, sir.

Casey: Good luck.

Don't lose it.

Lon Kirk: I don't believe we've met before. I'm Lon Kirk.

I'm the host of this evening's event.

I know the people of Taiwan are deeply appreciative of your generosity.

Chuck: Oh, well, cheers.

The name's Carmichael. Charles Carmichael.

Kirk; Pleasure, and your stunning... companion?

Sarah; Sarah Walker.

Kirk: Pleasure.

Sarah: May I ask, Mr. Kirk...

Kirk: Lon, please.

Sarah: Lon, I was wondering how you came to focus your charitable efforts on Taiwan.

Kirk: Well, I started doing business there, and I just fell in love with the people-- their indefatigable spirit-- and I said to myself...

Three and nine, please.

Yes, sir.

I said to myself, "Lon, you can help. "

Sarah: That's wonderful.

Kirk: And I always bet on red because it reminds me of all the pain and suffering in the world.

Sarah: How noble.

Casey: Any other bets?

Sarah; Mm-hmm!

Chuck; Mm-hmm.

I'm in. All of it.

"Always bet on black. "

Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57.

Not a great film, granted.

Casey: You sure you want to risk it all, sir?

You might want to reconsider.

Doesn't seem prudent.

Chuck: Prudent?

I mean, here I thought we were gambling, right?

Plus, if I lose it, it goes to charity anyway.

So here's to losing, right?

Cheers.

Casey: Bets are in.

$100, 000 on black.

Chuck; What? ! $100, 000?

Is that what you just said?

Uh, no, no, no, no, wait, wait wait-- I didn't realize-- it's a normal bet for me, $100, 000.

Come on, black.

Black, black, black, black.

Come on, honey, cheer for black.

Casey: Three, red.

Chuck: Do you guys do mulligans in roulette?

Or any kind of a do-over?

Is there, like, a thing...

Kirk; If you'll excuse me.

Chuck: Did you really just wink at him?

Sarah: Did you really just lose $100, 000?

Casey: Psst.

Chuck: Kirk is talking to Rashan Chen.

He's the Taiwanese Attaché|to the Premier, he's dirty.

They're using the charity as a front to launder counterfeit money.

Sarah: Okay, something's wrong. I'm going to go over.

Chuck, you stay at the table.

Casey; We'll work on a payment plan later.

Chuck; Can we.

She's being a little obvious, don't you think?

Casey: Relax, Chuck, she's just doing her job.

Chuck: So, uh, what did, uh... what did you and Kirk talk about?

Sarah: Uh, he invited me to his yacht tomorrow afternoon.

Chuck: Okay, what time should I be ready?

Sarah: No, just me.

Chuck: Oh, just, just you.

Alone on his yacht.

Kind of disrespectful to your boyfriend, don't you think?

Sarah: Chuck, Bryce is not my boyfriend.

And even if he was, he'd understand this kind of work.

Chuck: I meant Carmichael... actually.

But don't worry, Carmichael's booked up tomorrow anyway.

Very, very busy schedule, so... good luck and... good night.

Nice car.

Casey: Not just any car.

It's a 1985 Crown Victoria.

But, like a lady, she doesn't like it when I talk about her age.

Chuck: I'm not really a car guy, so I don't really...

Pretty, pretty shiny, though.

Casey: Oh, yeah, she's shiny.

4. 6 V8 engine, hydra glide transmission, reupholstered the prisoner containment area.

Even installed a state of the art GPS tracking system in the license plate.

Can locate this baby anywhere in the world in less than a minute.

Chuck; It's great.

Th-that's really, Casey.

Casey: Could buy ten more just like her with the money you pissed away on one spin last night.

Chuck: I knew you weren't going to let that go. How did I know that?

So what, exactly, is Sarah's mission on that guy's boat today?

Casey: Get close to Lon Kirk.

By any means necessary.

Chuck: Wait, are...

You're saying she's going to go down there and flirt with Lon Kirk alone?

I mean, do you have any idea what kind of message that gives?

Casey: Hmm... and I hear Agent Walker can be quite the giver.

Morgan: Do me a favor and keep it up front.

Mr Wu: So, Morgan... you work at Buy More?

Morgan: Yes, sir. Yes, sir, that's correct.

And Anna will tell you that I got the old nose to the grindstone.

You know, not literally.

Of course, because that would hurt.

Mr Wu: And is that where you see yourself in say, five years?

Morgan: That's a tough question.

I could tell you where I don't want to see myself in five years: prison, or under house arrest.

Do anything that involves a lot of chopping, deep knee bends.

No nudity.

Anna: Waiter... Cocktail.

Morgan: Just generally try to keep my clothes on.

You know, it's...

Lester: Are you insane?

You can't be yourself.

You have to be better than yourself.

Jeff: Are you guys having lobster?

Could you bring back a doggie bag?

All right, take it off, take it off.

Morgan: Be better. Got to be better.

Where am I from?

Whew... Wow.

Where are any of us really from?

I myself hail from many fathers.

Nietzsche, Sartre, Jor-El...

Anna: He's... Encino. He's from Encino.

Morgan: There I was... there I was, there... I... was... in the Congo.

When you guys eat Chinese food do you get hungry a hour later, too?

There she goes.

You don't mind, do you, babe?

You know who else famously smoked a pipe?

Boyhood hero of mine.

Yeah, yeah, quite the yachtsman himself.

One Popeye the Sailor Man.

Anyone? Huh?

Will you guys excuse me... for one second? Thank you.

Chuck; Hey, Morgan.

Morgan : Yeah, hey, hey, dude, we got a possible situation here.

I'm out lunching with Anna's Parents at some fancy yacht club in the Marina.

Okay, when who do I see, but someone who resembles the future Mrs. Chuck Bartowski.

All right, now she's getting lotioned up by some creepy Richard Branson meets Willem Dafoe- lookin' dude, right?

And he is all over her, man.

I mean, he is really greasing her and working up this lather.

I mean, it's just, it's, uh, quite a scene over here.

And, um, hey, listen, I got to go, man, lobster here.

Chuck: Hey, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Don't sh**t. Put the g*n down.

You can have the jelly-filled doughnuts

Casey: What are you doing here, Bartowski?

Chuck: Thought you might be hungry, you know.

Friend to friend kind of a thing.

Where's Sarah?

Casey: Oh, that's it. You think your girlfriend's stepping out on you.

Agent Walker is fine and doing her job, see?

Plus, we have a whole team here to back her up, okay?

So you can b*at it, Bartowski.

Chuck: Oh, my God, they're going down.

Casey: Chuck, What is it?

Chuck: They're loading counterfeit plates onto the boat.

They're hidden in crates marked as aid medicines.

Casey: What?

Chuck: Yeah, I just flashed on a crate they just brought onboard.

That's why Kirk just brought Sarah below deck.

Casey: This guy's important, Chuck.

We can't be wrong. You sure?

Chuck: I just flashed. I'm sure, okay?

Casey: This is Casey.

We're going in... Go.

Federal agents. Nobody move!

Kirk: Excuse me for a moment.

Who are you people?

Casey: NSA.

Stay right there. Let us do our job.

Kirk: Your job?

Do you have any idea who I am?

Casey: Open it.

Kirk: That crate is a bonded humanitarian shipment certified by the United Nations.

It's illegal for any of you to open it.

Casey; Oh, I can make some phone calls. Hope you don't mind waiting.

Kirk: Oh, I do, so we won't.

Medical supplies.

For the earthquake victims of Taiwan.

I wanted to deliver it myself.

We leave tomorrow.

Now, if I could get your names and agency affiliations, I want to make sure that everybody is properly accounted for when I speak to your bosses' bosses later this evening.

Sarah: Ellie or Awesome home?

Chuck; No. They're at work.

And hello to you, too.

Sarah: What the hell happened today?

Chuck: I-I don't know. I don't get it.

I had a flash.

Sarah: Right when I went below deck with Kirk.

It's pretty convenient timing, I would say.

Chuck: What are you talking about?

Sarah: Just when you thought that I was getting intimate with Kirk, you decided to have a flash.

Chuck: What exactly are you implying?

That I faked the flash? That I'm a flash faker?

Sarah: You know, I think we need to discuss the fact that you let your emotions get in the way today.

Chuck: My emotions?

Sarah: Things have been a little off since the incident, Chuck.

Chuck: Really? And what incident are you referring to, Agent Walker, huh?

Could it be the incident where you planted a kiss on me right before a b*mb was supposed to go off, ending our lives?

That same kiss right before your boyfriend, Bryce, came back from the dead, that kiss?

Sarah: Stop saying kiss. It happened.

Okay? What's done is done.

Can we just not talk about it, please?

Chuck: Okay, fine. Absolutely, of course.

Just answer me one little thing.

Sarah: Chuck...

Chuck: Did you kiss me that night because you thought we were going to die, and mine were the most convenient lips around, or was it actually about me?

Sarah: What happened was a mistake.

One I won't make again.

Chuck; Well, well, well!

Lookin' good, Morgan.

Morgan: Well, feelin' good, Charles.

Chuck: And how was, uh, meeting Anna's parents?

Morgan: Uh, it was... it was fine.

You know, I think it went, uh, okay... ish.

Anna: Let's just say he wasn't the Morgan we've all come to know and love.

Big Mike: Hey, Captain Steubing!

Morgan: Morning, Michael.

You know, I was I thinking about focusing my energy on the starboard side of the store today.

Big Mike: You don't change into some regulation clothing right now, I'm gonna kick the starboard side of your ass.

Morgan: Why do people hate the rich?

Hey, listen, speaking of starboard, uh, Anna's parents invited us, or at least Anna, on a cruise with some of their big-sh*t Taiwanese friends.

You and Sarah should join us.

Supposed to be some bigwig diplomats there.

You and Sarah should be hanging out with diplomats, Chuck.

Oh. Or just you.

Right. I'm sorry, dude.

Did you find out that was Sarah yesterday?

Chuck: Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that wasn't her.

Must have been some other busty, long-legged blonde.

They're a dime a dozen around here.

Morgan: Figured it wasn't her, you know?

And to be honest with you, I wasn't looking at her face.

Well, boat later, huh?

You? Me?

Shrimp cocktail's supposed to be served.

Morgan: Thanks, buddy, but, uh, I think I'm going to stay landlocked tonight.

Morgan: Oh, well, suit yourself. Ahoy hoy.

Beckman:Which part of handle Lon Kirk with caution wasn't clear,

Agents Walker and Casey?

Casey: Chuck flashed, General.

Our decision to raid the boat was based on the information we received from the Intersect.

Beckman: Except Chuck was wrong.

Sarah; We think Kirk must have managed to hide the plates somehow.

Beckman: Where?

Sarah; We don't know.

Beckman: So, you moved in anyway?

Is there something that might have caused Chuck to think those plates were on Kirk's boat?

Anything that might have caused his flash?

Sarah: Not that we're aware of.

Beckman: I don't want the two of you anywhere near Kirk from now on.

Sarah: Both of us? But he doesn't suspect me.

Graham: We don't know that, and we can't risk it.

So until further notice, consider yourselves benched.

Casey: Well, that was a bang-up job, Walker.

All right, I'm going to give you one last chance to come clean.

Did you or did you not compromise yourself and the Intersect?

Sarah: Do you ever just want to have a normal life?

Have a family?

Children?

Casey: The choice we made to protect something bigger than ourselves is the right choice, hard as that is for you to remember sometimes.

Sarah: I'll talk to Chuck.

And if I can't fix this, then I'm going to ask for a reassignment.

Chuck: Oh.

Aha, Gilligan.

Hey there, little buddy.

The plates are on Rashan's boat.

Oh...

Casey: This baby's got it all.

You got the four main burners...

Chuck; Hey, hey, we need to talk.

Later. I'm about to move a Beastmaster.

Chuck; No. Now.

Casey: Fine.

I'll be right back.

This better be good.

Chuck: Morgan sent me a jpeg from the Taiwanese attaché's yacht.

Okay? I uploaded it to my computer, and then I used an XTEL software device to break down the data into readable bytes.

Casey: English, Bartowski.

Chuck: I blew up the photo.

The counterfeiting plates are on Rashan's boat with Anna and Morgan.

Casey: These are the same crates you flashed on yesterday.

The one's that got us benched.

Chuck: Did you just hear what I said?

Morgan and Anna are on...

Look, I'm right about this.

The Intersect is right about this.

Casey: Orders are orders.

Sarah: Your wiener, sir.

Chuck: Excuse me. Look, I need to talk to you.

Sarah: Chuck, please, not now.

Chuck: Sarah, these are the same crates that I flashed on yesterday, right here on a boat with the Taiwanese attaché.

The one you saw arguing with Kirk.

He's getting away with the plates.

Sarah: You think Kirk put the plates on Rashan's boat?

Chuck: Yes. Look, I know that your orders are to stay away from this, but you have to believe me.

The plates are on that boat, possibly with Morgan and Anna.

Look, trust me, I wouldn't even be here right now if I wasn't 100% sure.

What... What are you... ?

Sarah: Let's go.

Casey: Chuck!

Sarah!

Sarah: Casey, what are you doing here?

Casey; Someone needs to protect the Intersect, huh?

Chuck: Well, that's very thoughtful.

Thank you very much, I guess.

Casey: Plus, I didn't want to miss any gunplay. Come on.

Sarah: Look, there he is.

Chuck; There's a GPS m*ssile tracking device on the ship.

They're going to blow it up.

Casey: Kirk's got his money, and he's going to bury the evidence.

Morgan: I'm king of the world!

I'm king of the world! i'm king of the world!

Sarah: They're loading something on Kirk's boat.

Casey: That's it. That's the m*ssile launcher.

They're going to follow them out and use it to take out the Taiwanese attaché's boat.

Chuck: The one with Morgan on it? Little buddy.

Casey: Yeah.

Sarah: Casey, I'm going to create a diversion.

Casey: I'll get the guards. Chuck...

Chuck; Yeah, I know. Stay in the car.

I get it.

Not this time.

Manager: We've got a GPS tracker on their ship.

The rocket guides itself.

Kirk: Are the coordinates set?

Manager: Yes, sir. I've just got to pull the trigger.

Kirk: No. When the time comes, I'll pull the trigger.

I never liked Rashan anyway.

Guard: Sir?

We've got a situation.

Sarah: Lon?

Lon!

Oh...

Hi.

Kirk: It's okay, it's okay.

Sarah: Uh, Lon, uh, I'm so sorry, but I... I had to talk to you.

Kirk: Well, uh, that's great, Sarah, but we're actually about to push off.

Sarah: I know, I know.

Uh, God, this is... this is embarrassing, but, uh, it's just, since I was here last, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, and I was just wondering if maybe we could talk or... ?

Kirk: Um, uh... uh, yeah, okay, we have a couple minutes.

Chuck: Well, well, well!

I see how it is, Sarah!

How could you do this?

After everything that I've done for you.

After all that I've given to you.

The house... the house in the Hamptons.

Huh? Or-or, uh...

Or what about the summers in South Africa, or the winters in Gstaad?

Sarah: You don't own me, Charles.

Lon knows how I really feel.

Chuck: Do you love him?

Kirk: You know what? I actually don't have time for this.

Chuck: Oh, yes, you do.

Shh, shh...

Yeah, I know what you're up to, buddy.

I know the truth.

Kirk: Why don't you just go home?

Chuck: Tell me...

Kirk: You know what? It is time for you to go.

What was that?

Chuck: He's in... Sarah... Oh, hey.

No, he's... he went in the... he went in the...

Get out of the way.

Put the rocket launcher down.

Oh!

Hey, hey, hey. look, look, look, The rocket is guided by GPS software.

All software can be reset.

Casey: Hurry up.

Anna: Great. Bye.

Morgan: Look at the size... these things are the size of baby cats.

Anna: You're going to be sick if you don't stop eating those.

Morgan; Yeah, but look, Mr. Wu, have you ever seen something so huge?

Anna: Please stop that.

Morgan: This is fant...

Oh, Anna, look, look, look, look, look.

Fireworks.

Chuck; That's it.

Morgan: Ooh...

Sarah: You did it, Chuck.

Chuck: I can't... I can't...

I can't believe that worked.

Casey: Chuck, where's the rocket heading now?

Chuck: I don't know. I reset it.

Casey: You sure reset doesn't mean return to sender?

Chuck: Oh, man.

Oh, oh, oh, man. Oh, man.

Casey: Enter another target. Away from us.

Chuck;I need-I need another target first, with GPS coordinates.

Casey, what about your car?

Casey: No!

Chuck: Come on, we're running out of time here!

Just tell me what the GPS coordinates are for the Crown Vic.

Sarah: Tell him, Casey!

Chuck: Tell me, Casey!

Casey: 7-1-4-7-7.

Chuck: I'm really sorry, buddy. Oh!

Casey: I hate this assignment.

Chuck; I said I was sorry, right?

Hey, buddy.

Morgan: Hey, dude.

Chuck: How did it go with Anna's family on the yacht?

Morgan: Fine, until I got seasick and barfed.

Chuck; Was Anna freaked out?

Morgan: She rubbed my back mid-puke and then brought me a warm cloth to clean the shrimp blobs out of my beard.

Chuck; Hmm.

She's an amazing woman, dude.

And I am a lucky guy.

Chuck: Is there any way you can say that to her, instead of me?

Morgan: Yeah, I guess I could, but that would leave me completely vulnerable.

You know, kind of like a sweet little puppy laying on his back waiting for his belly to be scratched, privates just kind of dangling out there for everyone to see.

But I can certainly give it a sh*t.

You know?

Jeff; Store's closed.

Time to get polluted.

Big Mike: Okay, people.

The official Buy More Christmas...

Lester; Hey, now.

Big Mike: Holiday Party is about to commence.

As a reminder, I will accept all gifts-- cash and checks-- in my office or under the tree.

Keep it clean and be prepared to get down!

Chuck; I'll be right back.

Hey, uh, listen, I-I'm really sorry about the whole...

Casey: k*lling my car thing?

Chuck: Yeah, that. Again, sorry.

Casey: She was my dream car.

Chuck: A Crown Victoria was your dream car?

And why wouldn't it be?

Really beautiful lines, I-I've always found.

I feel terrible about that, okay?

But it is the holidays, right?

Which is a time for forgiveness.

Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

Casey: Sure. You can buy me a new car.

Chuck: Ha.

You're totally serious.

I... that's my jam.

Lester; Nun.

I do believe that makes me the winner.

Jeff; I thought Shin b*at Nun.

Lester: Mm-hmm...

And have you been bar mitzvah'd, Jeffrey?

Jeff: No.

???

Morgan; Anna, can I talk to you?

Um...

Uh...

I'm really sorry that I was kind of a jerk in front of your parents.

You know, I pretended to be something I'm not because I thought...

I thought that you were embarrassed of me.

Anna: Morgan, I didn't want you to meet my parents because I'm embarrassed of who I am in front of them.

Morgan; What do you mean?

Anna: Pretending to be their obedient little girl, dressing a certain way, not being myself.

I didn't want you to see me like that.

Morgan: I did miss your pretty makeup, and your inappropriately short skirts.

Anna: Not everything's changed, Morgan.

Morgan: You think the break room door is locked?

Anna: Let's find out.

Morgan: Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Chuck: Hi.

I'm glad you... I'm glad you came.

I got you something.

Ta da
It's a new alarm clock. Merry Christmas.

Sarah: You shouldn't have.

Chuck: Ah, come on.

They're on sale in Home Electronics.

Which reminds me, I should probably scan that thing before you leave the store with it.

Look, it's also kind of a... kind of a thank you for believing me when you had good reason not to.

Sarah: Well, it's my job, you know.

It's what I do.

It's the one thing I'm good at.

Chuck: Really?

'Cause I'm pretty sure you're good at a lot of things.

Sarah: Well, as you can see from everything that happened with Bryce, I'm not so good at relationships.

Chuck: I guess that makes two of us.

And then that makes me good at... pretty much nothing, I suppose.

Sarah: Chuck, you're good at your job, too.

And not just here, fixing computers.

You know, the one where you risk your life to save others; the one that you didn't ask for but were supposed to have.

Chuck: Friends?

Sarah: Yeah. Friends.

Jeff: Mistletoe.

You'll thank me later, dude.

Chuck; How about we just dance?

Sarah: Sure.

Jeff; Lame.

Casey: Casey.

Beckman: Major. I am calling to imform you that the baby version of intersect computer was successful. this means the new intersect should be up running soon.

Once the new computer is on line, it will be time to take care of Bartowski.

Casey: Roger that.

Beckman: I hope you have not grown too fond of the subject.

I would hate for you to be compromised.

Casey: I understand my orders, General.

Beckman: Oh, and... John?

Casey: Yeah?

Beckman: Happy Holidays.