02x01 - Chuck Versus the First Date

[bunniefuu]

Chuck; Before you do anything rash, I think you should know that I have the Cipher.

Colt: Hand it over right now.

Chuck: Don't you think we should discuss terms first?

Colt: Now... who are you?

Chuck: You know what? You probably wouldn't believe me.

Oh! Oh!

Colt: Last chance.

Who are you?

Chuck: Chuck.

Colt: Okay.

Now, tell me everything, Chuck.

Chuck: There is no way he's going to believe me.

And I don't blame him. I mean, who would believe that the government put all their secrets into one super computer- the Intersect.

And all those secrets got downloaded into my brain.

Of course I can't tell this guy that.

Oh! O-Okay, okay.

Okay, see th-the thing is I-I kind of sort of work for the CIA and the NSA in my off hours when I'm not working at the store.

It's kind of like a second job for me.

And though I don't look it- being lanky of build- you should know that I'm probably the most important intelligence asset in the world.

Colt: That is the single dumbest story I've ever heard.

Chuck: That very well may be, but... if you drop me, there are a couple of people who are going to be very, very upset.

Meet Sarah and Casey.

They're here to protect me.

That's Sarah.

She works for the CIA.

Believe me, I know.

And that's Casey.

He works for the NSA.

He's not as pretty.

Casey: Let the geek go!

Sarah: Wait!

Not out the window.

Casey: Aren't we picky.

Chuck: Nice hands, Casey.

Sarah: Why didn't you stay in the car?

Chuck: You know what?

It's never safe in the car.

Casey: Well, did you get it?

Tell me you got it.

Chuck: I got it.

'Course I got it. It's me.

Graham: Excellent work,

Sarah, Casey.

Our transporters will be taking the Cipher out of Los Angeles.

Sarah: General, what exactly is the Cipher?

I mean, mercenaries break into the NSA lab, and it's the only thing they take?

Beckman; The Cipher is the artificial brain for the new Intersect computer.

Chuck: The new Intersect?

Graham; We've been working on a new one ever since the original Intersect was destroyed.

The Cipher is the final piece.

Chuck: Uh, wait, time out just for a second here.

What-what happens to me, the old Intersect?

Graham: Tomorrow, the new computer will be online, and Operation Bartowski officially comes to an end.

You'll be done with us.

No more briefings, no more missions, no more spies.

Enjoy the rest of your life, Chuck.

Sarah: Are you okay, Chuck?

Chuck: Huh?

Yeah, I'm, uh, uh...

I mean, I-I don't believe it, but-but, uh, I- I think I'm great!

Sarah: You're going to get your old life back.

Chuck: Yeah, I was starting to think that you and Casey were going to be my spy protectors forever.

Or, whatever the adult version of forever is.

Sarah: Don't tell me you're going to miss all of this.

Chuck: No.

No, of course not.

I don't think I'm really cut out for a job where you disarm a b*mb, steal a diamond, and then jump off a building.

Sarah: Well, you could have fooled me.

Chuck: That's very kind of you to say, but I'm pretty sure my girlish screams in the face of danger give me away.

Sarah: So, what happens now?

You're almost free.

What are you going to do next?

Chuck: Well, you know I got the Buy More...

Sarah: Chuck, can I tell you something?

Chuck: Of course.

Sarah: You can do anything.

I've seen you in action.

And I'm not just talking about the b*mb defusing, or the diamond stealing.

I mean, anything you wanted, you could have.

Casey: I thought you might call.

Beckman: Major Casey, you understand the situation?

We can't have another Intersect wandering around Los Angeles getting into trouble.

Casey: General, Chuck may be a novice spy, but the results speak for themselves.

Surely we can find another exit strategy.

Beckman: You have your orders, Major.

Tomorrow night, eliminate Chuck Bartowski

Casey: I used to like the sound of that.

CHUCK 201

Awesome: Morning, Chuck.

Chuck: My eyes!

Oh, I'm blind!

I'm blind!

Okay, first of all, congratulations, Devon.

On the... On what-

You know whatever God gave you there.

Second of all, the door was not locked, so I'm not a complete pervert.

And third of all, this is just another reminder of why I need my own place.

Ellie: There's no rush, Chuck.

It's great having you here.

Chuck: So, Ellie, I've been, I've been thinking a lot about stuff, you know, like, uh, my life and my job.

Awesome: Unburden yourself, Chuck- where's that head of yours?

Chuck: I don't know, I just think you guys are right, you know?

I shouldn't, I shouldn't be working at a Buy More, right?

I should have a real job with a real future.

Ellie: What happened?

Chuck: You know when you meet someone and they just kind of, you know, they-they flip you on your head, just shake things up, a little bit?

Awesome: You're talking about a Mr. Tony Robbins.

Chuck: So close.

Uh-huh.

And yet so far away.

Honestly. Oh! I got to go.

I'm sorry. We'll talk about it later.

Ellie: No, no.

Talk to me, Chuck; I need to know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Chuck: No, no, it's a... it's a good thing.

It's a very- it's not a Tony Robbins cult thing.

I want this, so.

Okay.

Ellie: Okay, great, well, then I'm really happy for you.

I'm, like, super excited right now, and I'm just trying to keep it in.

Chuck: Of course.

Ellie: So...

Chuck: Which is healthier, I think.

Ellie: I'm proud of you.

Chuck: Thank you.

Ellie: I'm so proud of you!

Chuck:Okay, I love you. See ya.

BUY MORE Hey.

Morgan: Chuck, come here.

Chuck; Hey.

What's up, buddy?

Morgan: Large Mart g*ons; they could be anywhere.

I don't want them to see this.

Chuck: What is this?

Morgan: Compound level from Call of Duty.

After our last battle with those Large Mart douches, I started to work on this.

Planning how we could take 'em all out.

All right, listen up.

Here are the specs, are you ready?

23 infantry troopers, 16 sn*pers, seven heavy gunners, four demolitions experts, and enough amm*nit*on to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger.

50 gamers, one call, all ready for battle.

With this team assembled, and my plan, I think we can b*at 'em.

Chuck: Morgan, you are my new hero.

Morgan: I know.

Chuck: Be right with you.

Morgan: I know.

Chuck: Uh, hey, uh, can I talk to you about this later?

Morgan: Uh, roger that. Oh, Big Mike was looking for you.

I told him I would send you his way as soon as you arrived.

Chuck: Message delivered.

Your work here is done.

Hey, Casey, Casey, Casey, Casey, Casey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Um, do you have a second?

Just a quick, quick second.

Casey: Not now, I've got a single white female pining for TheBeastmaster.

Chuck: It's a quick- it's just a quick second I promise.

Casey: What is it?

Chuck: Just wanted to say thank you.

Casey: I'm leaving.

Chuck: No, hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.

Hand.

Sorry.

I was- Forget about that.

Um, look, I just...

I just want to say I'm going to miss you, man.

You know, and-and-and thank you for showing me how to do things that I never thought were possible, and, and you know what?

You were always there to catch me when I fell, which sounds horribly cheesy now that I'm saying it aloud.

Casey: Really. Forget it.

Big Mike: Bartowski!

Bartowski, Bartowski.

Chuck: Yes, Big Mike?

Big Mike; The assistant managership.

The number-two spot here at the Buy More, my right-hand man, the captain of the ship when I'm not around, which, as we both know, is often.

Chuck: Uh-huh.

Here's the thing- corporate is on my ass to fill the spot, but I really don't want to interview those characters out there.

Chuck: Your employees?

Big Mike: Exactly, they scare me, Chuck.

So... want the job?

Well, Chuck, do you?

Morgan: All hail the once and future assistant manager-

Chuck Bartowski!

Chuck; Huh?

Morgan: The sleeper has awoken!

Chuck; Morgan...

Morgan; Behold the dawn of a new age here at the Buy More.

I, as your lieutenant, will institute policies that we've have always wanted. Right, team?

Lester: Hooray.

Anna: Hurrah.

Morgan: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Chuck: Morgan, I didn't take the job.

Morgan: What?

Why, oh, why, oh, why, Chuck?

Chuck: I'm also here to inform you that Big Mike has ordered me to interview and choose the new assistant store manager as my punishment.

Lester: References go to you, Charles?

Chuck: Or Morgan!

Jeff: See ya; I got a resumé to nail.

Anna: If I get the job, you should quiver in fear.

Morgan: Listen to me, listen to me.

Chuck, Chuck, you being the A. M. and me being the right hand to the A. M. was what we always dreamed of.

Chuck; I'm not, I'm not completely convinced that the Buy More is where I want to work forever, you know.

Morgan: Got it. Where would we work then?

Where would... where would we...

Chuck; We?

Uh, I don't know. Wherever.

Morgan: It's Sarah, right?

She's finally done it.

Chuck: No, what, done what?

Morgan: You know, it makes perfect sense, too, come to think of it.

I mean, if you were going to choose someone over me and all that we've built, it should be her. I mean, she is- unironically speaking- awesome.

ORANGE ORANGE YOGURT & FUN

Chuck: Hey.

Sarah: Hey.

Chuck: So can I be completely honest?

Sarah: Yeah.

Chuck: I miss the Wienerlicious.

I mean, the Bavarian charm and the toxic nacho cheese that you guys had there.

Sarah: My clothes smelled like sausage.

Chuck: Nostalgia completely gone.

Sarah: So what's up?

Chuck: You want to go on a date sometime?

I mean a date without aliases and spy gear and a mission?

Sarah: Like a real date?

Chuck; Yeah.

Sarah: Chuck...

I'm still a CIA agent, and there are a hundred reasons why I shouldn't do that.

Chuck: What do you have to lose?

In a week, you're going to be undercover in some place like Jakarta in a Kn*fe fight with some evil-doer, and in that exact moment, you're going to wish that you would've spent one last... night of fun with me.

Sarah: Okay.

Chuck: Really?

Sarah: Mm-hmm.

Chuck: Tonight.

Our first real date.

Sarah: Or our second first date.

Chuck: No gunfight, I promise.

Sarah : Okay.

Chuck: Okay.

Ellie: Hey.

Hey, date tonight?

Chuck: Yeah, yeah- we're going to go grab some Chinese food and then maybe hit The Echo after that.

Ellie: Did you hear that, Devon?

Do you recognize the sound of a proper date when you hear it?

Awesome: My t*nk's empty, babe.

Ellie: That's my future husband.

What about you?

Any revelations? Any ideas about what you're going to do next?

Chuck; Um... yeah, a few.

Ellie: If you say "pilot the Millennium Falcon, " I will hit you.

Chuck: I- why would I say that? That's absurd.

I'm going to be a ninja assassin.

Ellie: No, try again.

Chuck: Um...

Olympic...

Ellie: Unh-uh.

Chuck: Secret agent.

Ellie: This is what happens when you sit in front of the television set too long.

Seriously, what are you going to do?

Chuck: I- I don't know.

I've got a bunch of ideas, you know?

A bunch of things to think about and choose from.

I mean, I want to go finish college.

I mean, I think that's important.

And I want to travel and...

I don't know.

I want to learn an obscure language that, you know, only really cool people know.

Oddly enough, not one of my dreams includes working at the Buy More for another week.

Ellie: Huh? Well, look who's growing up.

Chuck: That'll be Sarah.

Morgan: What's up, dude?

I know you have a date. Not gonna get in the way.

Just wondering if you have five to 45 minutes to test out a new Call of Duty strategy?

Ellie: Chuck...

Chuck; Baby steps, sis.

Baby steps.

Casey: Yeah?

Messenger.

Pickup call placed by one G. Beckman.

Casey: Verification code?

Morning glory.

Casey: Hmm.

Where's your backup?

Messenger: It's done.

I've got the Cipher.

Colt: Go to the second location.

We have two more targets.

Chuck: Ready to go?

Sarah: Yeah.

Sarah: WOW, THIS FOOD IS GOOD.

So how'd you hear about this place, anyway?

Chuck: Morgan, as a matter of fact.

The man has a black belt in dumplings.

I trust any recommendation he gives me for food items less than ten dollars.

Sarah: So our first date is a Morgan recommendation?

Chuck: Wow, no faith in the little bearded man.

Okay. I think you should know he's always been supportive of our fake relationship.

And he's never found it remotely unbelievable that a guy like me could be dating, um...

You know.

Sarah: What?

Chuck; Um... you know, you.

Sarah: What about me?

Chuck: You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?

You- wow, okay. Fine.

All right, we'll play it your way.

A girl like you.

Or more appropriately, a woman like you. .

Considering the fact that you could probably kick the ass of everyone in this joint.

And a... a smart one at that.

Not to mention cool and... extremely beautiful.

And, and you can stop me anytime with the compliments if they're becoming, you know...

Sarah: No. No, that was very sweet.

Chuck: Sweet? Golly gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm eight.

Sarah: Well, you're not so bad yourself.

Chuck: Please.

I'm fantastic.

Sarah: Yeah. You are.

Chuck; What would Casey think if he knew we were doing this right now?

Sarah: It would probably k*ll him.

Casey: Sorry, sir.

Chuck: So does it say where you're, uh, going next? Your new mission?

Sarah; Actually, it does.

Chuck: Really?

Sarah: No, not really.

Besides, it doesn't work that way.

They'll probably give me a new cover, and move me as far away from here as possible.

Chuck: What if they didn't?

Sarah: Chuck, a CIA officer doesn't get to choose.

Chuck; You know, I- I still have an awful lot of secrets in my head: the Lindbergh baby, the formula for New Coke...

Sarah: What are you saying, Chuck?

Chuck: What I've always wanted to say, Sarah.

No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, not now. Not now.

OFFENSES g*n TRAFFICKING, DRUG OFFENSE Oh, oh, oh...

Sarah: Chuck, what is it?

Chuck: We're surrounded.

Sarah, you have your g*n, right?

Sarah: Nope.

Chuck; What? Why not?

Sarah: You don't bring a g*n on a real date.

Colt: Hello again, Chuck.

Sarah: And you are?

Colt: My name is Mr. Colt.

And I need you to come with me.

Sarah: Now why would we do that, Mr. Colt?

Colt; 'Cause I assume you find me imposing.

Don't worry, be honest.

I'm going for imposing.

Chuck; Mission accomplished.

Colt: Well, I'll tell you what.

The people that hired me... give me the heebie-jeebies.

Chuck: You know, when you put it in context like that, I-I...

Colt: Let's go. We'll take care of the check.

Chuck: Um, you know, are you sure?

The moo goo gai pan is very expensive here, so we could probably go Dutch or something.

How much do bad guys normally tip?

Sarah.

Colt: Move and she dies.

What is that?

Sarah: It's a honing device.

Chuck: Is that a Crown Victoria?

Sarah: Move!

Casey: Hey! Somebody order drive-thru?

Sarah: GET UP!GET UP!

COME ON!

GET IN THE CAR!

Go! Go!

Casey, drive!

DRIVE!

Chuck: Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Somebody order drive-thru, huh?

Did you think that up as you were racing over to save us?

"Hey, maybe I'll say this after I crash into the restaurant!"

Sarah: Casey, we have to go back and find out who they work for.

Casey: Too many of 'em, we can't.

Chuck: Well, at least we still have the Cipher.

Casey: Yeah, about that...

Looks like you're still the Intersect, Chuck.

Chuck: Sarah...

Sarah: Don't worry, Chuck.

We'll get it back.

Morgan: Yo, Chuck.

Got all the resumes together for you.

Chuck: What?

Morgan; The assistant manager spot.

You have to pick our boss, man.

Chuck: You know what, Morgan?

I'm making my decision right now.

I want you to be the assistant manager.

Morgan: Whoa, Chuck, relax.

Let's think about this.

See, I have this perfect system for doing as little work as possible.

It's a science, really, doing nothing.

A promotion at this point would destroy all my hard work.

Chuck: You're telling me I have no choice.

Morgan: The die has been cast.

But I'm gonna be here every step of the way.

Chuck: That's comforting.

Morgan: Okay, so the first interview up is... Anna Wu.

Chuck: Um, okay, Anna, well, your-your resume has some really interesting items.

Is it true that you're trained in the art of...

Anna: Tell him to leave.

Chuck: I'm sorry, what?

Anna: Tell Morgan to leave.

Chuck: I'm just trying to find the right applicant, buddy, that's all.

Anna: It's scented.

Chuck: Is it?

Anna: Rose.

Oh, honey, would you close the door?

Thank you.

Thanks, sugar.

We're alone.

Chuck: Anna, what exactly are you doing?

Anna: Relax. I like making my boyfriend nervous.

Chuck: Howdy. Howdy. Hey.

What is this? Is this trash?

Am I supposed to throw this away?

Jeff: It's my resume

Chuck; You-You've, uh, you've been working here since the store opened?

Very detailed.

Very thorough.

I'm noticing here that you have a Wikipedia entry...

Lester: Bingo.

... Chuck: of yourself.

Lester; I have a certain following.

Anna: What do you think he thinks is happening in here right now?

Chuck: An interview, I hope.

Well, um, you know, that's actually something that I never, ever wanted to know about you.

Jeff: What else can I tell you?

Morgan: Nothing. No, no, no, no. Chuck, you know what?

No more questions. Guy needs professional help.

Chuck; That's not, that's not called for.

Or... or welcome.

Very unwelcome, actually.

Lester; I take care of my friends, Chuck. I, uh... I help those who help me.

Chuck: Okay, here's the thing: We're at the Buy More, and this is not the mafia.

LInteresting, interesting.

Morgan: Hey, whoa. Mr. Bartowski's conducting an interview. I...

Lester: Oh, wow.

That happens a lot.

Deserved.

Chuck: Okay. Uh, Lester, could you excuse me for a second?

And, Morgan, I need to talk to Casey by myself, thanks.

No, yeah, absolutely, it was great.

Yeah, take your resume. Great job, awesome.

Get out of here, please. Morgan, now, now, now!

Move it, move it, move it!

Shut the door.

Casey: What is it?

Chuck; I know where they are.

Casey: Who?

Chuck: Who? What do you mean, who?

Colt!

The guy who smashed you in the face last night.

Yeah, I flashed on your scar.

It's the emblem for their organization.

They have a secret hideout downtown.

Warehouse 17 on 103rd Street.

We'll hop in the Herder...

Casey: Cool your jets, hotshot. I'll call it in.

Chuck: What do you mean call it in? There's no time!

They could be on the move already.

Casey: Relax.

I'm not gonna rush us into a hideout situation until I'm absolutely certain we have the upper hand.

We'll get the Cipher.

Just might take some time.

Chuck: Casey, I can't take this anymore.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I cannot do this anymore!

I almost d*ed twice in the period of one day, all right?

And when I'm looking at my life and what my future could be, I see that it doesn't completely suck.

Your Intersect, your new Intersect is almost done.

And when it is, I'm free, I'm cool, I'm clear, I'm out of here.

I have a future and a life that I want to live.

Casey; Future's a dangerous thing, Chuck.

Doesn't always work out like you want it to.

Chuck: What happened to you?

You were this close to being done with me and being a real spy again.

Casey: What? You don't you want me here to catch you when you fall?

Chuck: No, as a matter of fact, I'd rather have you flying jets and blowing things up.

Casey: Wait here.

Morgan: Hey, big guy, what about the interviews, pal?

Chuck: What? Uh, oh, I don't know, but you're in charge.

Morgan: No, no, no.

I can't, I can't do the interviews.

I- I don't make decisions like that.

People talk to me, and I just kind of tune them out and nod my head.

I'd be making the decision blind.

Chuck; Fine, fine, fine, fine, use your own method.

I trust you.

Morgan: Really?

That such a good idea?

What is my method?

Chuck: Hey. Hey, what's happening?

You're going down there, aren't you?

Sarah: We're on it, Chuck.

Chuck: What-what's back there?

Casey: Well, like the sign says, yogurt and fun.

Chuck: Let me come along.

You got to bring Charles Carmichael.

You remember, debonair superspy, who also happens to have the Intersect in his head?

You know, me? I can help you guys.

Casey: Charles Carmichael isn't your real name, Chuck.

You made him up.

You're just Chuck Bartowski, and you're not a real spy, huh?

Sarah: We have a tactical team meeting us at the location that you gave Casey.

We'll take down Colt and find the Cipher, and you go back to work.

Chuck; Don't worry about the Buy More.

I put Morgan in charge of the job search.

He's got it under control.

Morgan: Welcome to Thunderdome!

It is the ancient way!

To the victor go the spoils!

One of them will be the new assistant manager and one of them will be Jeff!

The fates will decide!

Begin!

Chuck: Anna? Jeff? Lester?

Big Mike: Bartowski! Computer emergency!

Chuck: Hey, where is everybody?

Big Mike: Don't care.

Just got a call for Nerd Herd help.

They said they got a recommendation for you.

Chuck: Well, can I send someone else or did they ask for me specifically?

Big Mike: You know I hate taking calls.

Get going!

Casey: Go, go, go, open.

Open up. let's go. let's go. let's go.

CLEAR.

Casey: Chuck was wrong.

Sarah: Or he was right, and we didn't move fast enough.

NOTICE YOU ARE ENTERING A FOOD PROCESSING AREA PLEASE OBSERVE THE GMP POLICY Buy More Nerd Herd. Hello.

Chuck: I'm here about the... computer emergency.

Colt: Hello, Chuck.

Come on in.

Casey: Call Chuck.

I got a feeling.

Sarah: Nothing. I'll try Buy More.

Morgan: Yo!

Sarah: Morgan, where's Chuck?

Chuck: So, uh, what-what, uh, seems to be your computer problem?

Colt: Here's the problem, Chuck.

You saw my face and you heard my voice.

Chuck: That's not a problem. That's not a problem at all.

I forget things all the time.

Ask my sister; I forgot her birthday.

I forget my social security number.

Just anything, ask me, I'll forget it.

What exactly are you doing?

Colt: I'm stretching, getting limber.

Chuck: Why are you doing that?

Colt: So I won't pull a muscle when I break your neck.

Maybe you should get limber, too.

Where you going?

There's nobody here to help you.

Oh, your friends, that's right.

They're next on my "to do" list.

See, you walked into a trap, Chuck... if that is your real name.

Chuck: My name is Charles Carmichael.

I'm a CIA agent, and this is my trap.

I don't think you gentlemen realize the gravity of the predicament that you're in.

See, that phone call you made to the Buy More?

Yeah, we traced that.

Your compound is currently surrounded by 23 infantry troopers, 16 sn*pers, seven heavy gunners, four demolitions experts, and enough amm*nit*on to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You're outmatched and you're outgunned.

Those peashooters you're holding might as well be sharp sticks and strong language.

Nothing there, boss.

Looks clear.

Colt: Good try, Chuck.

Chuck: Of course you don't see anyone.

Who do you think we are- the FBI?

The only thing you're going to see is a muzzle flash, followed by an e-ticket straight to Hell.

So make the smart choice and... why don't you hand over the Cipher?

Wait, w-w-wa-wai-wait, wait, wait.

I think that, uh...

I think that you might want to hear this.

Morgan: Hey, Chuck.

Chuck: Hey, Morgan.

Morgan: Yeah, yeah, Chuck.

Chuck: Morgan, I'd like you to tell me the exact specs for the team surrounding the compound.

Morgan: The whole shebang?

Chuck: The whole shebang.

Morgan: Yes, sir, we have 23 infantry troopers, 16 sn*pers, seven heavy gunners, and four demolitions experts.

I should tell you I got a little impatient and we took out one of the sentries.

Don't worry, it was a head sh*t.

He couldn't warn his buddies.

It was awesome, man, you should have seen it.

His head exploded like a watermelon.

Chuck: Thanks, Morgan.

They must have got Fritz.

I thought he was in the can.

Chuck: One more time.

Give up.

Colt: He's either lying, or he's crazy.

Check everywhere.

Don't let anything get past you.

Casey: This is Agents Casey and Walker.

We're en route.

Chuck: Oh, hey!

Don't move.

Please, don't move.

Hey, no.

Colt: Hand it over.

Chuck: What'll you do if I give it to you?

Colt: To be honest, I'm gonna drop you.

Chuck: See, thi-this is what I'm talking about.

We got to work on your negotiating skills.

How about this?

How about you pull me back up and we just discuss this like two rational adults?

Colt: You know what?

Chuck: What?

Sarah: Freeze!

Colt: It ain't worth it.

Sarah: No!

Colt: Your boyfriend's dead now, baby.

What you gonna do?

Chuck: You, you...

Casey: Yeah, I catch you when you fall.

It's touching, really.

Chuck: No, no, I love you.

Casey: Keep it in your pants, Bartowski.

Now get downstairs.

Casey: Freeze.

Okay, enough with the foreplay.

Step away from the blonde.

Colt: Ah, you know you got to put that g*n down.

'CAUSE YOU'RE SURROUNDED. (Ain't nobody else here. )

Meet the rest of my men.

Chuck: Excuse me.

Excuse me, hi.

Sorry to, uh... uh, sorry to interrupt whatever's going on here, but, uh, Mr. Colt, I just wanted you to meet my team.

Tell me something. Do you find them imposing?

Go ahead, you can be honest.

I was going for imposing.

Sarah: Chuck.

Chuck: Carmichael.

Agent Carmichael.

Maybe you could go ahead and put your weapons down.

I said put your weapons down!

Oh, there you go, there you- and then, and then the hands up to imply that your hands are empty.

Colt: Your boss, Carmichael.

Casey: What?

Colt: He's good.

Chuck: Don't worry, I- I-I'm fine.

Sarah: Do you have the Cipher?

Please tell me you have it.

Chuck: Of course I have it.

It's me.

Beckman: Major Casey.

Hope I'm not interrupting.

Casey: The new Intersect ready?

Beckman: We're minutes away.

Casey; Which means...

Beckman: Your order remains the same.

Chuck Bartowski is to be eliminated.

What was that, Casey?

Casey: Nothing, General.

It's just...

Chuck's served his country with honor.

Maybe he even has potential as an analyst for the organization.

Beckman: I unders...

Graham: Let me, General.

Major Casey, can you extract these secrets from Mr. Bartowski's head?

Can you guarantee him safety from kidnapping, from t*rture?

Casey: No.

Graham: Then it's clear.

Chuck Bartowski has served his country with honor.

Now he'll die with honor to protect it.

Ellie: You sure you can handle it?

Chuck; Yeah, yeah, I think I can do this, thank you.

Plus, I've wanted to cook dinner for Sarah for a while, so...

Ellie: You have many skills, Chuck, but the kitchen is not one of them.

Chuck: Oh, but that's why they call it Hamburger Helper.

Hello, does most of the heavy lifting for me.

I'm making that, uh, that chicken with balsamic glaze, the one thing Dad taught me how to make.

Ellie: But Dad couldn't cook either.

Awesome: Babe, you ready?

Mongolian BBQ beckons.

Going for the record, Chuck.

Seven pounds, shredded beef.

I've been fasting.

Ellie: Please, let me help you.

Chuck: The man has been on a hunger strike.

Come on, go eat, I'll be fine.

Ellie: You sure about that?

Chuck: Yeah.

Yes, I'll be fine.

Oh, hey, and I also had an idea for what I'm going to do.

I was thinking maybe, like, Eurorail through Europe, uh, you know, backpacking, that kind of thing.

Ellie: That sounds...

Awesome; Awesome.

Remind me to tell you about Amsterdam, my man.

Lovely city, lot of canals.

Ellie: It's a great idea, Chuck; good luck tonight.

Awesome: Good luck, bud.

Chuck: Hey, you, too.

And remember, buddy, pace yourself.

It's a marathon.

All right.

INTERSECT INITIALIZING...

FULCRUM THANKS YOU.

Chuck: So, Sarah, what do you, what do you think of, um, what do you think of Europe?

You, me, a couple of...

Eurorail passes?

Just seeing the world.

Seeing, seeing the world.

What the hell?

Ask her...

Hey, Sarah.

Sarah: Chuck.

Chuck: What is it?

Sarah: We have to call off the date.

The Intersect was destroyed.

Chuck: What?

But the Cipher...

Sarah: It was a Trojan horse, a sabotage device.

The moment it came online, it exploded.

Chuck: But that means...

Sarah: You're still the only Intersect.

I'm sorry.

Lester: Hello, Charles.

Chuck: Chuck's fine.

Lester: No, actually, he isn't.

You see, as the assistant manager and your boss, it's my duty to inform you that I have had several complaints from customers about you.

Chuck: Oh, you have, have you?

Lester: Not specifically.

But I haven't had any compliments, and in my book that's the same thing.

Yeah?

Good.

Morgan: How's it going, Chuck?

Chuck: How's it going?

That's a, that's a great question.

I'll tell you, buddy.

I just had a vision, okay?

A vision of the rest of my life.

And you know what?

It takes place in the same outfit, behind the same desk, in the same store.

Morgan: Got you.

Talk to Dr. Morgan.

It's safe, go ahead.

Chuck: I just thought I'd be going somewhere, you know, not just metaphysically or spiritually- though that, too- but literally.

I want, you know, out of Burbank to, to...

Morgan: Glendale.

All right, listen, look at me.

In all honesty, and I hope you know this, I've always been of the mind that you are destined for great things.

Whatever you want to do, you can do- all right, senator, president, emperor of the known universe, whatever you want to do.

You understand?

Yeah.

You're good.

But before you go running off to change the world, I think that I should tell you that I am currently on my way to securing 45 Twinkies.

Now, by which I mean 45 bags of Twinkies.

Chuck: Why would you do that?

Morgan: Good question. Because Jeff said he'd eat all of them in under three minutes.

Now, he thinks he's eating 45, but technically speaking, he agreed to eat 90.

Chuck: 90?

Morgan: Yeah.

Chuck: Nobody can eat 90 Twinkies.

Morgan: That's what I said, dude.

He may die o- or at least do extreme damage to several major organs.

Chuck; This I have to see.

Casey: Good to see you, Bartowski.

Chuck: Hey, Casey, 90 Twinkies in three minutes.

Be there.

Morgan: Jeff might die.

No way!