09x26 - Retrospective

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Office". Aired March 24, 2005 – May 16, 2013. Some extras included, e.g. deleted scenes, gag reel, retrospective.
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"The Office" follows the everyday lives of office employees in the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of the fictional Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.
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09x26 - Retrospective

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I knew we were part of something different and new, which is always thrilling.

And, go ahead!

Angela, are you ready for the wedding?


I can't think of another thing that I've done for this long that is so important to me.

Try that again?

I was on the set for this finale, and I was looking around and I was just struck by the fact that there's no way you could assemble this type of cast again.

It was just my absolute pleasure to be a part of this show.

I'm really proud of what we did.

I've been waiting here for 45 minutes.

And the people are amazing.

What's great about the show is it is at the heart an optimistic show and I think that is its legacy.

Are you with "The Office" today?

It's like being at a really cool party and then being the life of the party at that.

This is unbelievable, you guys!

Thank you for coming!

We're pretty big in Scranton.

We're like 16 Justin Biebers when we go to Scranton.

It's like the Pope and the Beatles landing at the same time.

Oh, my God, Oscar! This is the best day of my life! Oh, my God!

Michael Scott!

This is the perfect time for this show to come to a close.

There's a finality to it and a sadness as well.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It was simple. It was just an office.

An office is a place where dreams come true.

Very little happened at Dunder Mifflin.

They didn't really get much work done.



Very funny.

Everyone, conference room right now!

It is a quintessential American workplace comedy show.

It was awkward, painfully awkward, and hilarious.

How about the Phyllis/Angela dispute?

You already did me.

That's what she said.

And you were directly under her the entire time.

That's what she said.

You always left me satisfied and smiling so-- - That's what she said!


We've all had a boss that gets in the way of you doing your job.

I just love how real it was.

We were everybody's experience at work.

Your outfit.


What's wrong with my outfit?

It celebrated those human interactions that annoy us all and make us chuckle or make us mad. Who put my calculator in jello?

I think that's what allows people to connect to the show, because they can see themselves, they can see their jobs, they can see their relationships in this show.

Welcome to the Hotel Hell.

Check-in time is now, check-out time is never.

Does my room have cable?

The premise of the show when we started was, what if you had the world's worst boss?

And the irony was this is a guy who bought a mug for himself that said "World's Best Boss".

I think that pretty much sums it up. I found it at Spencer Gifts.

The difference between Steve Carell and Michael Scott can't be overstated.

Somehow we love them both equally.

Real business is done on paper, okay? Write that down.

He's so complicated.

I'm going to k*ll myself!


He had the sensitivity of a 5-year-old.

You're sort of either going, oh, no, I do that.

Or you're going, God, glad I'm not like him.

And then you are like him.

Relax, Pam. Stop Pam-M-S'ing.

Michael Scott was harmless and you had to like discipline him.

You idiot.

Start over.


But you know he's a good guy.

I love it!

Our show had such great characters that you didn't need anything to happen at all, and it would end up interesting and funny.

Hey, why haven't we ever-- - We have.

There are so many incredible performers in this show who are such gifted comedians.

It might be easier if you take a deep breath, lift from the knees, and shove it up your butt!


Dunder Mifflin, Dwight Schrute.

Dwight has a streak of farm boy, ubernerd, and heavy metal white trash rock 'n' roller.


Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.

Pam didn't love her job. She didn't really love her love life, and she wanted something more. I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist.

Jim Halpert.

Jim isn't sure he wants to be in this job.

He's in love with a girl who doesn't know that he's in love with her. So it's this whole undercurrent of a guy who really wants something more.

Hey, Kelly.

Oh, so jealous of your boobs.

Kelly is superficial.

She's like a perpetually 13-year-old, mean girl.

Because you already gave me a necklace.

Oh, my God, I love it.

Tell her how you gave it to me.

I'm not saying I had a meteoric rise, but I did.

Ryan is a schemer, a dreamer. He refuses to believe that he is destined for anything normal.

Okay, not to point out the glaringly obvious, but doesn't the fact that I'm in this group make anyone feel just a little bit better?

You have your cats on nanny cam.

Yeah. I mean, I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat, but I'm out of vacation days.

And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. Angela loves cats.

She likes cats more than people for the most part. I play lots of games, just not at work.

You don't appreciate what I'm doing right now?

Andy Bernard, AKA The Nard Dog, he's a sweet guy, he's well-intentioned.

He has a good heart.

But there's a dark streak. Andy tried to run Dwight over in the parking lot.

Come on!

That I think was a nice metaphor for Andy as a whole lot of bark and just no bite.

Dwight? Are your legs broken?

No. My right one is falling asleep a little bit.

Andy, are you all right?

Go away, tuna.

I'm winning this!

It's the heart that kept people coming back.

The romance between Jim and Pam, the loneliness that you saw underneath of Michael Scott.

I need a girlfriend so bad.

The aching, vulnerable ambition of Dwight. I want the branch. And I await your decision.

These are the little glimmers of emotion that keep you vested and interested.

There will always be a part of me that is defined by this character, defined by this show, and nothing can make me more proud.

Oh, look, they're starting.

I'll never have a relationship with another actor the way I do with John Krasinski.

I just won't. It will be impossible.

If you have great characters and great writing, you will have a great show.

And when "The Office" was great, that's why.

The original "Office" was like my baby that I brought up and nurtured.

My name is David Brent, and I've always been in the paper industry.

Yeah, my parents owned a paper shop until it blew away. Paper.

It was a group of people thrown together that had nothing in common except they worked on the same bit of carpet eight hours a day. You'll never have another boss like me, somebody who is basically a chilled-out entertainer.

Yeah. I'm walking down the street going to see my agent, I get a call on my mobile, hi, I'm Ben Sillman, I'm an American.

Just this * of words. He went, right, I'm going to take the original "Office" and we're going to remake it in America.

I ended up tracking Ricky down to a Starbucks. We had a fantastic two-hour meeting.

I was excited and I was flattered. I thought, wow, what's the worst that can happen? Let's have a go. I'm like, oh, and it's like, oh, so hats off to you, I'm afraid.

The key to this type of show is the behavior being captured by the camera.

Your ass is on the line, mister!

And using long lenses to spy on things.

So what does downsizing actually mean?

And having people talk straight strait to camera.

I say bring it on.

So there's a lot of weird features to the show that were unusual.

Perfect cover. I can hear and see everything.


We were going to go for Steve Carell for the role of Michael.

Michael Scott!

How do you know?

Where are you working?

Dunder Mifflin.

He was the best person for the job.

Not only just brilliant, everything he did was great.

He had great instincts.

Nice guy.

He had that little intensity, that sweet little shrew type face. He's nearly handsome. He's like Bob Hope, you know what I mean?

Oh, my God.

John auditioned in New York.

There was a lot of pressure on him to audition for Dwight, but he really felt he should be Jim.

Can you just watch my phone?

That's a negative.

We brought them into our production office and ran improv games with them.

We'd say, here's the situation and they would just improvise the scene.

Each one of these amounts to $10,000 or more, perhaps $20,000.


Can you roll back, please?

Does your chair roll?

Can you roll back, please?

I remember thinking when we doing the test, my God, this guy is legitimately annoying.

He'd be perfect for this part. Because I was getting very frustrated as a person doing the scene.

I hear a lot of talking, but I'm not aware of where it's coming from. I hear noises buzzing in the background, but I have no idea where they're coming from.

If this rings-- Sure enough it worked out perfectly for our chemistry. I hadn't done anything.

I was a waiter at the time, waiting tables. My favorite food is pomegranate.

There were seven Jims sitting on a bench and I was the seventh Jim and all six Jims went in before me, which was already a crisis seeing people who looked exactly like you.

Can you say that with just enough sarcasm so I know it's not sincere?

Um, my favorite food is pomegranate.

That's good.

Very funny.

I knew that I had chemistry with John from the very first moment I met him at the audition.

What are you copying right now?

What is that?

This is Dwight's cat's missing.

That is Dwight cat. Wait.

Missing Persian-- that's his name, by the way, it's not the type of cat.

I was Pam Beesly. I was a receptionist.

I was a temp and dreaming about a different life. I'm working.


I don't know if you're working, but I have work to do.

I do have work to do, too.

Excuse me. Sorry.

As soon as Jenna walked in, she's exactly what I imagined the part to be.

I remember very vividly I turned to her and said, just so you know, you're going to get the part.

She said, that's so crazy because I thought, you're going to get the part.

We sh*t the pilot, and we sh*t five more episodes, and then they were going to air them and the pilot got terrible reviews.

Everyone compared it to the English show right off the bat and just was like, this sucks, and it's terrible.

I had dreams of being brought before comedy court where they would say, what have you done to this great show?

What is that?

That's my stapler.

No, no, do not take it out.

You have to eat it out of there because there are starving people in the world, which I hate and it is a waste.

It was kind of a ratings disaster.

We didn't think we were coming back.

I knew we had a really special thing, but I didn't know if anyone would watch it.

You can't do that.

Why not?

Safety violation. I could fall and pierce an organ.

We'll see.

I think it was a weird show, the type of comedy people weren't used to.

Watch this. Here you go.

I just thought that we were really pushing the envelope, which was great, that we were going to be doing something different.

I'm h*tler, Adolf h*tler.

Who could not relate to the show? The guy wants the girl but can't have her. There's a weirdo working next to you.

And your boss is insane.

What's up!

But loveably hypnotic.

I still love that after seven years.

What's up?

What's up? It was really touch and go, and we really barely got a pickup for the next year.

This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.

Four or five episodes into the season, all of a sudden we looked and we were like number one on iTunes, TV shows being bought and downloaded.

Everybody was like, huh? How does that happen?

We are a really low rated show and we're number one on iTunes.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable!

So truly it was the iTunes, you know, hits and downloads and all that that allowed NBC to see there was an audience for this. So our fans totally created our show.

And then all of a sudden our ratings started just inching up, inching up, and then there was this big banner that was put on the side of NBC "The Office" with all of our faces.

That was about halfway through season two, and we're like, I think we got a TV show on our hands. We are warriors!

I was doing letterman, and I came out and people want me to sign autographs.

Someone said, who's that?

And they said, he did Steve Carell's role in the British version of "The Office."

I went, that's true, I did. I did. So I knew then that it was really standing on its own two feet.

The 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards.

And then Steve got nominated for the Golden Globe.

Steve Carell "The Office".

He was not expected to win, and then he won.

Wow, I really did not expect this so I didn't write anything.

However, my wife did and handed me something.

And when he won, it felt like we all won.

I'm going to get teary talking about it.

It was just the best moment.



I was thinking about dinner.

I don't think Jenna and I had any idea that this would become anything more than just a sweet relationship that you wanted to see on television. Click.

Anytime John and I have gone to a restaurant together, oh, my gosh, you see people's heads explode. Yeah! We walked into this restaurant, we were going to have dinner, and a woman came up to us and said, oh, my gosh, you guys did it, you got married in real life? And I said, no.

I'm married to a different man in real life who I have a child with.

We just work together.

I'm really excited to meet your mom.

You are? They really want the show to be real, and I'm glad.

Your major and minor lines cross at a ridge. That sucks.

At least I don't have cavities.


You have very nice teeth. Pam and Jim started out as friends.

Friends with feelings. But over time Jim really shows himself to be the caring and sensitive and thoughtful man that Pam has been looking for.

How dare you.

It became so personal and so real for so many people because it almost looked like they would never be together.

I don't know, mom. He's my best friend.

I don't think I had ever kissed a girl on screen.

That was my first kiss on screen. It was the first time Jenna and I were ever doing a love scene because it was always these unrequited love scenes.

Listen, Jim.

Everybody was clapping after we finally kissed because we all really cared.

We were like, we're doing something right, like something feels really, really special.

We always used to say that everyone who watches the show thinks of themselves as Jim and Pam but are probably more like Ryan and Kelly.

I hope you're still committed because I'm pregnant. BJ and I have a very tumultuous relationship.

Hey, guys, that's really inappropriate.

We're best friends but in the writers room we'd fight a lot but have a lot in common as well.

You lied about being pregnant. Right. So?

You really don't understand why that might make me angry.


We're never getting back together.

Why not?

We were sort of these always clashing soul mates on the writing staff, and people were very amused by that and decided to write a Ryan/Kelly romance based on that.

It's the best day of my whole life.

I made out a lot on the show. What are we going to do?

I made out a lot with BJ.

There's like big fights. What?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Then we'd have to make out.

For years Kelly was obsessed with Ryan who took whatever he could get from her but gave nothing back.
I am so cold.

It's because you didn't bring a jacket.

You owe me three bucks for gas.

They were the couple that should not be having a work relationship because they can't let it not affect their work life. Ryan and I have a huge announcement.

Oh, my gosh!

Over the weekend, Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced.

Sweet. Free ring!

They were both pretty selfish, self-absorbed characters, and they both had a common love for Ryan.

They both thought Ryan was the best.

Let's do this thing!


The hidden affair between Dwight and Angela was a lot of fun. Yeah! And turned into a full-blossomed romance where it was really like Lady and Lord MacBeth, these two kind of weird little power urchins.

Dwight, you should be running this office.

I loved it when she had a bobblehead made for him.

It's me. I'm the bobblehead.

Dwight and Angela were soul mates but then life happened. He mercy-k*lled my cat by putting it into the freezer.

It was beautiful and gentle and respectful and I fed her antihistamines and she gradually fell asleep.

Well, she barfed them up in the freezer and tried to get out.

Well, I'm not responsible for that!

Hey, ow!

And that was it for Dwight and I because he k*lled Sprinkles. This is Sprinkles.

She was my best friend.

So they had to break up.

That sent Angela Martin on a rebound with Andy Bernard.

You may ask me out to dinner.

Angela was a poignant relationship for Andy because it's the first time we saw him really just yank his heart out, put it on his sleeve.

You looking for dinner and a movie, because you're not going to find it in that box.

I think the scene where Andy proposed to Angela was very fitting because it was so left-footed and just awkward. Miss Angela Martin, will you please join me on stage?

Okay. Then I will come to you, my flower.


Angela's response was not good.

Will you do me the honor of giving me your tiny hand in marriage?

It really summed up the tension, the misunderstanding, the denial, all these awful things that kind of underpinned the relationship.


Into the mike, sweetie.

I said okay.

She said yes!

Well, the proposal episode was a crazy endeavor.

They built a rest stop, and they had a huge rain machine. The set was in the middle so trucks would go around to make it look like foreground highway traffic.

John and I stood out in the rain, this pouring rain, with these cars whizzing by us. What are you doing?

I just can't wait.

Oh, my God.

Will you marry me?

Oh, my God! And it was so romantic, so romantic.

You could just see the crew and the cast were just riveted to see what was going to happen next. So?


You were so rooting for Michael Scott because he wanted love so badly, and who would love such a weird guy?

I want the picket fence.

I want the ketchup fights and the tickling and the giggling.

Jan was sort of the nightmare for Michael on a path to destroy him. That it dinner party episode...

Man, I would love to burn your candles.

You burn it, you buy it!

Oh, good.

I'll be your first customer.

You're hardly my first!

That's what she said!

And enter Holly.

She's DJ Holly.

Who also had this weird offbeat sense of humor that somehow was a perfect match for Michael Scott.

This is where I fell in love with you, and this is where I ask you to marry me.

It started--

Andy and Dwight are rocking the sales team.

I feel very blessed.

First and foremost it's a writer's show, and we really owe everything to the writers on this.

In an ideal world--

In an ideal world I'd have all ten fingers on my left hand so the right hand could just be a fist for punching.

It's a troupe of people who understand writing and performing at the same time.

I spent more time here than I did on the set, more time here than I did at home. I definitely spent more hours here over the past ten years than anywhere else in the world. And it's not a very pretty place to be, but there was a lot of laughter and a lot of great ideas.

Oh, come on, it's not real, Stanley. Don't have a heart att*ck.

Oh, no, no, no, you will not die! Stanley, you will not die! Stanley!

Stanley! Barack is president! You are black, Stanley!

I'm going to give him mouth to mouth.

No, don't give mouth to mouth for this.

I think what makes the writing of "The Office" so special is that it celebrates minutia. It finds comedy in the smallest human beats of life. It doesn't always look for big, ridiculous moments, which we certainly have our share of those.

What are you doing?

Come on! Oh!

We started with the simplest premises that would happen in an office, a new health care plan.

You work here.

Don't you want good insurance?

Don't need it.

Never been sick.

Perfect immune system.

A f*re drill.

Stay below the smoke line.

Let's go! Clear out, stat! Stat means now!

And then, over time, once the characters took on a life of their own, the characters started dictating the story.

The only way to capture Andy is to capture the extremes of Andy. One is when Andy flips out and punches a hole in the wall.


Then you have a scene where he is serenading Angela with his a cappella group over the speaker phone.

♪ If you need me let me know ♪
♪ gonna be around if you got no place to go if you're feeling down ♪

That is how sweet and hopeful and happy he can be.

Those two things together are really the complexity that is The Nard Dog.

You don't need to stay here.

I know.

Having a lot of emotional content in a comedy, to me, is great because the audience doesn't ever know what you're going for.

You could be going for a poignant moment and then you surprise them.

So you're PMS'ing pretty bad, huh?

So much of the show is scripted I think it would surprise people.

They will script our looks to the camera.

It was just the acknowledgment to the audience that, you know, are you watching this? Did you see that?

Am I the only one who thinks this is insane?

It was almost like Jim had developed a relationship with the audience where he hopes that you saw it.

Little ands and buts and ums are written into the script.

I think the reason why it looks spontaneous and effortless is how they sh**t it.

The camera movements are choreographed. We have handheld cameras that are moving and we don't have marks on the ground.

We plan all of that out beforehand. Everyone just works very, very hard to make it look like it's done on the fly.



We script it to feel very naturalistic, and we always would have the last few takes be improvs.

We'd say, now you do your version of that.

Where Steve and Rainn would lead the way and take it to these brilliant places.

Do I stress you out?

Nothing stresses me out except having to seek the approval of my inferiors. The writers trust the actors enough to let us play with their lines and improvise off of them.

There was an episode I wrote for me and Rainn called "The Initiation" in which Dwight takes Ryan to his beet farm.

Your journey begins now.

And I had written the script and put a lot into the script, and it was early so I still thought that you couldn't improve on a great script.

I was planting the seed in the ground and that was the end of the scene.

Then he said--

Just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.

That was a line that I just came up with on the spot.

I'm like, yeah, this is cool, I get to be a writer and an actor.

That improv was so much better than any other line in the script I had written. It was just on the moment. Of course.

I would watch Steve in a scene, and I would see him get an idea, I could just see a little twinkle in his eye. That kissing scene with Oscar is a great example of that.

You and I are going to make a statement together.

We kept hugging and hugging.

Then one take he just kept coming in. I'm like, he's so close, where is he-- I'm like, oh, I see what he's doing. Ugh!

The kiss wasn't supposed to happen. That was improvised.

I can hear everyone laughing. I'm like, oh, man, I hope we don't have to do this again.

There he is.

Oh, no. That's a male model.

One of the great things about "The Office" is we just had so many wonderful guest stars.

I had been trying to push through Timothy Oliphant because I have a massive, massive crush on him.

So much so, that we don't believe that much on the show, but he has an episode where he shows up on "The Office".

I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He's going joining us to be our new traveling salesman.

Say hello to Danny.

f*ck me.

Okay. You know what?

No, no.

And we bleep it on the show. For me, that was really great that I could push through things like that.

Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Bennett.

Kathy bates is a tough-talking Southern CEO.

Sure are pretty dogs.

They love a great crotch.

They sure do.

You should take it as a compliment.

I do.

Will Ferrell was amazing. I directed him in an episode of the show.

It's like he fit in the world so well.


Hello, hi.

I remember in the writers' room we obsessed with the scene in which he meets Michael.

To beginnings and endings.

And to middles, the unsung heroes.

The game of the scene was, how long can these two idiots not realize they're there to meet the other person?


This is Michael Scott.

Yes. Hi, you're running late.

No. I'm here.


I'm at the bar.

I'm at the bar, too.

You are?

What bar?

That's the kind of thing they were great at.

You give them a great premise they really buy into and see how far they can take it.

Michael Scott.

Deangelo Vicors.


Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets.

Battlestar Galactica.

Bears do not-- What is going on?

What are you doing?

Jim is always pranking Dwight.


Oh, that's funny. Michael!

If you look back on all the pranks it's just really like getting his goat rather than actually hurting his feelings.

Where is my desk?

That is weird.

And his desk is gone, and Dwight finds it in the bathroom.

Dwight answers the phone, still conducting business.

He's not going to let the location of his desk deter him at all.

Jim will send a series of faxes from future Dwight.

Dwight, at 8:00 AM today someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee.

He believes it completely.

He's getting a fax from the future. No!

You'll thank me later. That's one of the typical ones that has entertained audiences all over the world for so many years.

I think that all of these great pranks are the way that you would prank your brother.

My wallet.

Oh, there it is, J1.

Dammit, Jim!

Wrapping his desk in wrapping paper was incredible.

There's been many moments throughout the show, but the whole thing you realize is based purely on love.

You know I have to do this.

I know.

At the end of the day I don't think Jim would ever want to do something that actually hurt Dwight's feelings.

I can always block the blow. I can counter it with--

I love our scenes at the art show when Michael is the only person who shows up to Pam's art show.


That was so emotional and so sweet.

You want to buy it?

Well, yeah. Yeah.

We have to have it for the office.

I just love how kind Michael is to her in that moment. She's really very broken, and he takes care of her.

And then we had that great talking head that is just my favorite.

The one where Jim finally comes and asks out Pam.

Are you free for dinner tonight?


All right.

Then it's a date.

That made me cry. It's one of my favorite moments of the show. I'm sorry. What was the question?

Kelly appeared in episode two of "The Office" the episode called Diversity Day has Michael insulting a minority.

Googi, googi, time. My googi, googi, googi...

I remember, oh, my God, we're doing that thing, which is getting so close to, you know, real things that are genuinely issues that are terrible and the ignorance of people. And you're doing it in a way that we can make fun of it.

Based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, I do not agree with, you would maybe not be a very good driver.

Oh, man, am I a woman?

I think my favorite episode of all-time is one called "The Injury".

I b*rned my foot very badly on my foreman grill.

He wants to wake up to the smell of bacon in the mornings.

This man wakes up every morning and plugs in a foreman grill, goes back to sleep, puts raw bacon on there and then eats it.

Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it.

I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

He was angry it had happened to him, and then he thought he was handicapped.

Okay, what does this look like to you, Stanley?

Mailboxes, etc.

That was really "The Office" starting to hid its stride comedically.

When can I sit on your lap?

Right now, come on over, big boy.

I will never forget the Christmas episode where Kevin sits on Michael's lap.

Michael is trying to get him to hurry up and make his wish.

What would you like for Christmas, little boy?

And Steve's performance was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Nobody's ever let me sit on their lap before.

You can see in the episode, I'm in the background of that, and I have to duck behind a wall because I'm just losing it.

What about if I tell you the things I don't want?

Okay, get off, get off!

Oh, God!

Michael's departure was very emotional and sad, and I wrote that script. The writing of it, I was at one point crying to myself as he was writing the key moment between Michael and Dwight.

Dwight, I will be leaving tomorrow.


So I wanted to give you that.

It's a letter of recommendation.

That was a really beautifully written and really fun to play moment of Dwight reading his recommendation letter.

As a sales executive, as a leader, as a man, and as a friend, he is of the highest kind, quality, and order supreme.

And then the last scene that we ever sh*t of Steve's was Jim going in and saying good-bye to Michael.

And as soon as they called "Action, " I started sobbing like an embarrassing amount of sobbing, and Steve started sobbing. You know what I think we should do?

I think we should just save good-byes for tomorrow at lunch.

You have these moments where the characters and your real life collide.

My last scene with Steve, even now it's emotional. I was directed to run after Steve and when I got to him to just say good-bye. And I said good-bye, and we cried and we hugged.

And it was special because there was no sound so I could really say anything I wanted, and it was private and it was our moment. And it will always be very special to me.

Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you something.

Oh, my God, Meredith, what are you doing?

Baking a cake. What does it look like I'm doing? Getting rid of the lice.

Stop! I'm so sorry!

I hope it holds up.

I turn on Nick at night and see "Roseanne" or I see "Everybody Loves Raymond". They're great. "Seinfeld" holds up.

Years later you watch these shows and they still make you laugh. And I just hope we are one of those shows.

I will be tossing this powerful insecticide grenade which contains Piperonyl Butoxide, as well as...

I don't think anybody thought we would go over 200 episodes.

It is very emotional right now on the set.

Everything is the last something.

We really fought long and hard a year ago to make this the last season. Let's commit to one final season.

Let's do it right.

We had these incredible characters in this incredible setting, and we wanted to see what happened to them. To Dwight.

This is a ring taken from the buttocks of my grandmother put there by the gangster patriarch of the Coors Dynasty, melt in the foundry ran by mennonites.

Okay, yes, I will.

I changed my mind again.

To Andy...

I am going to leave Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting after all.

To Stanley and to Toby, we wanted to see what else happened to Jim and Pam.

I don't know, Jim. Maybe you should have been there.

You're not serious, right?

One of my favorite Jim and Pam moments is in our final season where they get in the fight over the phone.

I am trying to make everything perfect here, okay, so that you can have everything that you want.

I'm doing this just for me?

Is that what I'm doing, doing it just for me? I hope that people saw the truth and the honesty in all of that rather than some crazy way to split up Jim and Pam.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Bye. So those tears are real. I didn't like Jim being mad at Pam any more than the audience did.

We forgot it was a comedy.

We forgot it was a TV show. We just really cared.

Not enough for me.

You are everything.

Thank you.

It's been an amazing couple of weeks to sh**t the finale, and, you know, as finales go there's always a lot of resolution for all the different characters, and that's really, really special for us.

The finale, in time, happens at least six months after the episode that just aired, and there have been a lot of changes. And they're assembling for two purposes, Dwight's wedding and for a panel that's been put together by the documentary crew that's been filming them.

It felt like we were doing the world and the characters justice, and I hope fans agree, but we put our hearts into it. And I'm damn proud of it.

I think that you will be laughing and crying if you're a fan of the show.

It's a really beautiful farewell.


I'm letting you all off half hour early to view the documentary so you can make it up to me by working an extra half an hour tomorrow or a minute extra for the rest of the month.

It's a terribly heartbreaking because this show is like this wonderfully alive thing that we're putting down.

I think the show will be remembered as something that was funny because it was true and honest about its characters and what they would do and what their lives were like and how they would talk.

And all its comedy came from that.

Remember your exit points, exit points, people.

Oscar! Oscar!

Stay alive, I'm getting help.

Pull me up.

You're too heavy.

I only weigh 82 pounds! I hope that in a few years that people have a moment where they yell-- Save Bandit!

I hope that you can dig out these DVDs or whatever thing we use to watch things in ten years and that the show is still entertaining and moving and funny. I'm all done.

Thank you to "The Office, " the wrap party.

We are thrilled to have you here!

I love you.

I'm going to miss this incredible family here so much.

This has been my other family for nine years. Are you for real right now?

I just have an overwhelming sense of pride, and this is a huge part of our lives that is just going away.

And it's a tough thing.

For me, it's just been everything.

It's just been everything to me.

The greatest honor will be anybody making any sort of television or movie or art or whatever and saying, you know, I remember I was influenced and inspired by "The Office."
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