01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

I saved you so that I can use you. Now, if you want to keep this half-alien thing a secret, you should listen up.

I know who your real father is, Lewis.

Imagine if you could come to Troy. There's ways.

They said we came here on a convict ship. Prove it.

Where is the evidence?

Who are you?

I'm your son.

That's Fabien. He's in charge. Of like, everything.

What did you say your name was, darling?

k*ll Antoine Berry for us.

Get out there, find him, have him!

Is it done?

No, it's not.

All right, Fabien?

Drive.

Fabien will have people on the tunnel for a while yet.

You better go back to mine.

Do you think I'd go anywhere with you after that?

Listen, that guy wasn't coming up to the car to shake hands, all right?

Now, sometimes it's either you or the other guy, and if it's me, it's definitely going to be you next.

You're not here to help people. You don't want to save Troy.

What are you talking about?

Stop the car. Get out.

What?

GET OUT!

♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Plug me in and turn me on ♪
♪ Listen here cos here it come ♪
♪ Got hot licks on your guitar strings ♪
♪ Riffs and rhythms and guitar things ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive and amplified ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive and amplified ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive and amplified ♪
♪ Turn me on and turn me up and turn me loose ♪
♪ I am alive ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Ah Na-na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
♪ Na-na-na-na, na-na-na. ♪

If you move the shotgun out of my face, you might find you recognise me.

You're the girl who broke me out.

Any time.

OK. Yeah, you need to get yourself organised.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Yeah, cos pretty soon Fabien is going to be coming after you for real.

If you've got a few more people around you, you can b*at him.

And you've got a secret w*apon -- me.

Every move he's going to make, I'm going to let you know in advance.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart, especially as you've went to all this trouble, but I'm retired now. Really?

There's not going to be a w*r.

You see, the thing is, when there's conflict in a confined area, the two warring parties tend to weaken each other so much that it creates a power vacuum.

Then somebody comes out of nowhere and makes off with the spoils.

Or have I misjudged you?

Mm.

You know what? There IS going to be a w*r.

You just don't see it yet.

I don't want to drive round with you any more. I want to go home.

Why are we stopping?

You're going to love it here. It's great.

Where are we?

It's the perfect spot. Somewhere to unwind.

You see, the beauty of this is they'll never think to look for us in one of Fabien's places. We're hiding in plain sight.

Try to empty your mind, OK? Look at the sunset.

It's everywhere.

I'm covered in the blood of the person m*rder*d by my new dad.

Sh.

(The waves.)

They're sh*t waves.

What is this, Grand Theft Auto?

Why are we looking at a video game no-one's even playing?

We don't play it. Grand Theft Auto's quite violent.

What am I going to do? I broke a m*rder*r out of prison.

Who's also your father.

Just when I was starting to think, "Maybe, maybe..."

I know.

Meet him at first, it's like he's actually surprisingly chilled out, and then he stabs someone with a big Kn*fe.

I didn't like the sound of that blade going in, did you?

It was actually my least favourite bit.

OK, look. I say from now on, we should just surround ourselves with positive role models, a whole different crowd.

I'm not looking for role models with you.

Sh!

I don't belong here with these hyper-violent animals, do I?

I'm going home to be with people who maybe have their downsides but never s*ab people in front of me, Dominic! Never!

(Sorry!)

She's asking how much?

30%.

Said there was too much heat after Antoine escaped.

For doing what?

For sitting on her arse, opening a trap door her end of a tunnel?

I'm with you, Fabien.

But the thing is we can't use the tunnel without her.

Well, I'm not waving 30 pence to the pound goodbye for some paranoid bint.

So... how am I going to get my product over?

How?

How?

I thought it was a rhetorical question.

Do you want me to sh**t your head off?

Fab, Fab, Fab, Fab...

You're sh*t.

I've got Snow White, I've got Grumpy, Dopey and Dickhead by here.

I might as well stick my head between my legs and talk to my own arsehole, because you guys are giving me noting.

Clowns.

You... you're a clown.

Why is everything falling apart?

I need to get the fur out now otherwise there's no cash flow.

What are we going to do?

Dig another tunnel?

Dig another tunnel?

Who... do you think... I... am?

Fantastic Mr Fox?

Have a better idea?

Just one idea?

I can't breathe.

What if you had someone at the checkpoint?

Seen this?

T'ai chi regional under-12s certificate of participation.

Mm. Well done.

No. Under-12s. It was a while back now, weren't it?

But you know what, though? I was thinking how you always used to take me to t'ai chi, didn't you?

OK.

Just it was a father-son thing we used to do.

I was thinking we should be doing more of that.

Right. New house rule.

Anything that may endanger my recovery, lock it away or lose it.

What recovery's that, Hol?

The one you're looking at.

She doesn't even drink.

Year zero, day one.

You're not a big drinker, are you, Hol?

No.

When the withdrawals kick in, though, these are going to be right in my eye-line.

Withdrawals from fur!

You're giving up fur?

I've GIVEN up fur.

Bam. About seven minutes sober today.

OK. You're upbeat about this. That's good.

Too right. Toked up the last of my stash.

What was I going to do? Leave it lying around in temptation's way?

Chemical stimulants think they can control me, they can think again.

Cold turkey? I'll b*at the sh*t out of that.

Who's driving this train, eh?

You.

Don't say it half-hearted, Lewis.

How come I went out and got myself a job if I'm not driving this train?

You got a job?

Yeah. Soon to be followed by getting Ely back, my own place, the works.

This is my drink.

Where's your job then?

Mind your own business.

I paid money for this! Give it here. No. Get over it.

Stop it, then. Stop it, then. Both of you, please.

Dad, we should be encouraging her. This is good.

This is really flipping bloody good.

We're all going to pull together on this.

Holly, we're behind you. 100% behind you. Aren't we, Dad?

Erm...

See? Family.

United, together.

Supportive. Yeah?

We can do this, can't we? Yeah? Yeah?

Yep.

Er, hello?

Your... landing module came off.

Yeah, I used to do that.

Let them programme my thinking by using the language they impose.

We call it the ark.

Oh. Your ark came off.

Everyone gets a cereal and a juice carton.

I was actually hoping to find a role model.

A bad thing happened to me in my car.

Are you not here for the breakfast club?

Oh, yeah. No, I am.

My name's Dominic.

You ever been hungry, Dominic?

Sometimes.

Because we want these children to become beacons in the community.

And they can't do that on an empty stomach, can they?

No. No way, Jose.

Let's have a look, Yvette.

Wow. Proud of you.

Are you ready for Friday?

What's Friday?

You've never been here Friday? You should come here Friday.

There's a big queue of people waiting to get their hair cut.

And then we collect it and burn it.

Burn it?

We've got to stop selling our hair to the humans.

That's a first step.

Soon we'll have nothing to do with any of them.

Except the nice ones, though?

Hm.

The usual, please, Marcel.

How are you?

Good, brother. Good.

Get him a drink.

One phone call and I can have 50 men lined up behind you.

Not old fellas like me and you either. Young lads.

Everyone wants to see the back of Fabien.

So he hasn't improved with age, then, I take it?

Do you remember him? Nasty little cat k*ller.

Used to say his mother dropped him on his head as a baby and never picked him back up.

He's not well liked, if you know what I mean.

Just one push.

No. It's just not the plan.

Gaspard, don't give me the sad eyes. I've made my decision, OK? Please.

'Murderous Alien gangland k*ller Antoine Berry...'

Come on.

'.. is still at large this morning.'

f*ck it.

'Police are advising both Aliens and humans to remain vigilant at this time, and they are warning not to approach Berry, as he may be armed and is extremely dangerous.'

Guess who came to my flat this morning.

Your dad.

He's quite scary really. He said he'd come to talk to me in private.

I think I know what "talk to me in private" is a euphemism for -- k*ll me in my flat.

It's OK, it wasn't. What it was was, he asked me to give you a message.

Not interested.

Yeah, he said you might do that, so...

I'm sorry you had to see that side of me, a side I desperately want to leave behind...

I don't want to hear a word that m*rder*r has to say.

Look, just come on.

He made me recite it back to him, like, six times.

That's a lot of pressure. At that hour, with those eyes.

So...

A side that I've been desperately trying to leave behind.

I hope you allow me to show you that I mean to change my life and finally be the father that I failed to be.

Right, tell him I don't need any more fathers.

I've got one, thank you, and we do activities and that.

Tell him if I had any idea what he was really like, I'd have left him to rot in maximum security because that's where he belongs, isn't it, Dominic?

You know what? This would be way easier if you could write this down.

Tell him to f*ck off.

Oi, seen that?

Are you carrying any prohibited items today? No? OK.

What's that?

Application form.

For a job. Assistant Customs Officer, here at the checkpoint.

Don't do it. I'm going to do it. Where did you get this?

Doesn't matter where I got it. From Truss.

Truss?! Imagine a world where this is a really bad idea.

We're in it. That's the world we live in.

You are not going to get that job.

Well, not if I don't apply for it, that's for sure.

You're an alien. People are less nice than you think they are.

Yeah. Yes, they are. Forget this. This is stupid, OK?

Right, on your way. Next one.

Come on.

You all right, Holly, everything OK?

OK? With the whole being off fur?

Yeah?

Yeah.

What's she doing?

Oh, she's fine, she's just making a packed lunch, eh?

I thought of something else we used to do together.

Sainsbury's big shop.

Hello, there, we're just in the area today, talking to people about how they can save money on their gas and electricity bills.

You better talk to him.

Who is it?

Hello, how are you today?

Invite me in.

No, thank you very much, just had one.

I'm Fabien.

There's this girl we both know.

She says you'll do whatever I tell you to.

Don't know what she has on you, mind.

Though I could probably give it a guess, you degenerate f*ck.

Starting tomorrow, I'm going be moving fur through the checkpoint.

You're going be my inside man.

The fur's going to be in blue sports bags.

She sent you to my house?

I don't like coming over here.

I don't like the people and I don't like the smell.

I'm already having a stressful week, so concentrate on what I'm telling you, because if I have to stick you I will.

But not before I stick the old bloke and slow sandwich bird in the next room.

You listening?

Yes, yes.

Hi, Dad. He's just telling me about switching energy supplier.

It's a surprisingly simple process.

What's my product going to be in?

Blue sports bags.

And what are you going to let through?

Blue sports bags.

Good, or I'll be coming back here for a follow-up.

Thanks for your time now.

All Aliens must return to the designated Alien Zone by curfew.

Garvey...

Gold star for that man.

Amazing what happens when you start trusting this.

All the intel, all the x-rays in the world, no substitute for instinct is it?

No, chief.

Keep it up.

"So, how did it go?"

"Not too bad, actually, Antoine, um, he loves you, he wants to make it work. It was positive in places..."

So what did he say?

Was it "f*ck off"?

Yeah, basically, yeah, f*ck off.

The two lads on the big shop, eh?

It's all coming back to me.

Round about now we'd remember all the stuff that Mum'd told us to get and we'd forgotten about.

You know why that was?

Too busy playing trolley ball.

Oh, yeah, trolley ball.

Come on, then.

Didn't we get a lifetime ban?

In there, maybe. Can't stop us out here.

It's all bought and paid for. Mind that.

Ha-ha-ha!

Start with the salad, yeah?

Here we go.

Get in!

Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute.

Sausage Rolls.

Easy. Got it!

Yes! Yes!

Where you going?

Fabien's happy.

I don't give a flying f*ck if Fabien's happy.

I look at you and I want to be sick on the floor.

You sent that animal to my house so he can smuggle his dr*gs...

Look, I told you that I need Fabien's trust if this is going to work.

What work? You're a full of sh*t liar, aren't you?

Antoine's a gangster, he's not going to free anybody.

I'm done with this.

Come on.

What?

Come on, in here now. Open your bag.

Put your bag on the table and open it for inspection, now!

You sure you want to do this?

When I search your bag, am I likely to find any controlled substances or illegal items?

You're making the mistake of your life, pal.

Right. You're dead.

Am I? See you then, mate, ta-ra.

You're a dead man! Fabien's going to get you.

Fabien's going to get you! You're f*cked!

Come on!

Thank you.

Cheers.

I'll handle this.

You're going the wrong way.

This is the vehicle section.

What are you doing?

It's fine, it's OK.

You're going to get recognised.

I had to run that risk.

I needed to see you.

Did that girl tell you some story about me saving Troy?

Cos she'd be in a lot more trouble with me right now if you didn't have an obvious thing for her.

Look, reality's disappointing, but it was self-defence.

Don't start that again.

What would you do in a situation like that?

I'd choose a way of life where them situations don't come up -- plumber, racehorse trainer there's millions of them.

God, you remind me of her.

Yeah?

Did she ever Taser you in the balls?

Go on, piss off!

What was that about?

Just some confused old mork. He gets the message.

Oi, come on. Interview.

What?

Chief delegated it to me, I'm interviewing you right now.

Yeah?

Yeah.

And straighten yourself up, mate, you can't go in looking like that.

Yes. All right? Yes.

I offer a useful dynamic to the team, I am trustworthy, erm... Oh...

Dominic, good. Thanks for coming in.

Now, I'm just looking over your application, Dominic.

Now, am I right in thinking that up until now a lot of your experience has been with toilets, is that... is that fair?

So the first question is what do you feel has been your biggest achievement while cleaning the bogs?

Well, well, I... I don't just clean toilets.

Well, no, of course not. You change the rolls too, don't you?

See, I guess, what I'm trying to get at is... what are you most proud of?

Working in a team.

I think I've shown that I can... I can work in a team.

That's a good answer. That's a sh*t-hot answer!

All right, now, Dominic, this question is a big one.

'Where do you see yourself in five years' time?'

'Five years from now, where do you see yourself?

'Well, I think, if I... if I was to get this job, it would be the start of something really big for me.

'Sky's the limit, eh? Maybe one day you'll be in charge of the whole checkpoint.

'I don't know about that.'

You meet someone, you settle down with them, you get yourself a nice place.

Before you know it, little 'uns under your feet, Sky+, GTI out front, one week self-catering. Why not?

You've worked hard. Why shouldn't you have it?

Can you think of one reason why you shouldn't have it?

One reason.

'Anything at all coming to mind?'

I have to go.

Wh... Don't leave! That was going brilliant!

What did I tell you?

What?

Night.

Thanks for that.

See you tomorrow. You did good.

See you.

All right?

What's all this?

Wall-to-wall Taste the Difference.

Even did the bacon that stands up... like that.

Why?

Erm...

Probably this is us.

I'm trying to say that... that we think you're really brave and that we're a family, trying to pull together and, you know, that kind of thing.

You're such a p*ssy.

How's it been?

All right. Stuff just keeps coming at me.

Like what?

I don't know if it's temporary insanity from a sudden fur deprivation, or... if I'm just seeing straight for the first time in my life.

That job, right?

There's this mork there, big, fat girl.

I'm starting to wonder if... maybe she's not that bad.

Wh... I'm just saying... I don't...

I get it. I get it.

You know what I sometimes wonder?

What I've been thinking? Are we wrong about them?

Look, look, the way that we're treated, the wall and that, you know what I mean?

Exactly. That's exactly what...

Oh. What were that out there?

Here it comes.

A van full of morks right up to the gate. No! No!

Dad. I draw the line. Oh, do you, yeah?

Tell her!

Linda Watt looking right at me over the fence.

Linda Watt can suck my balls!

Linda Watt's probably wondering when's the next time you're going to vomit in her hanging baskets!

Dad, come back, please.

Yeah, come back.

You've forgotten your sock!

Imagine your mother seeing you with a bunch of morks... how she'd feel.

She'd be so ashamed of you.

f*ck the lot of you!

'What do you want?'

I heard you stopped one of Fabien's men.

'It kind of surprised me.'

Yeah, I did, yeah. Sorry I messed up your plans.

Going up against a vicious maniac drug lord, that is kind of big.

'Not really.'

Not when you think about it. He's not going to k*ll a customs officer on the human side.

Way too high profile. Besides, if he was going to k*ll me, he'd have done it by now,

'so I reckon he's full of sh*t.'

Come and see me.

Huh?

'Remember I said to you I want to see what's inside?'

It feels like I'm starting to see it.

'Now that you're becoming your own man, I think now is a good time. Don't you think?'

This doesn't mean I trust you or anything. Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

You said you want to be sick on the floor.

Right, I said that because you use people.

Not everyone. Mainly you.

But you have sex with them to make them do things for you.

Ah, and you've done things for me and we haven't had sex.

Is that why you're sulky?

Yeah, right.

Look, there are things that I need, yeah? There's things that I need to do and I've tried asking for help nicely -- men for help -- and nothing.

This is going a long way back, you don't wanna know how far back.

Unless there was sex in it, nothing.

Except for you.

Yeah, you're the first out of all of them.

You're the only one that helped me because it was the right thing to do.

But it wasn't the right thing.

Antoine should be in prison.

No, it doesn't work like that, because there's no good here, Lewis. There's only better.

When Antoine was in charge of Troy, it was better.

Look, I want him to go up against Fabien.

Every bit of that was the truth. I'm...

I'm trying to say thank you for helping.

I'm sorry for looking at you on that webcam.

That was never me.

That feels weird, listening to that voice knowing that was me talking.

That was never me.

This is.

I've got to change.

(sh*t.)

What the f*ck?!

Lily! Lily?

What were you doing with her glass?

He was doing oral sex on your glass.

No, I wasn't! I wasn't.

It was a trap.

She made out like she had the hots for you, but the whole time she was delivering you to me.

I know.

Unbelievable.

You change your mind on our arrangement, did you?

Change of heart, was it?

Well, that's worked out all right, hasn't it?

Argh!

No problem there at all.

Yeah, it's me. No, of course he did. I've got him here now.

No, not yet, no.

What were we going to do, kiss?

Fine.

Fine.

It was a set-up from the start. The whole thing was bullshit.

But that, that was real.

You meant every word, and you can tell yourself you didn't, but I don't believe for one minute...

Goodbye.

Go on. Come on, get out.

Move!

What the f*ck?

She's the one who told Antoine...

Keep your mouth shut!

You can still live through this.

It's nice here.

It's where I do some of my best work.

You ready?

You're not retired.

How far away are you?

No...

No, no, no, no...

Oh, f*ck!

Get him out of there.

Is that you, Gaspard?

sh*t.

This way.

We're coming!

Help me with this.

Why would I do anything you say?

Son, this isn't a good time to throw a tantrum, OK?

I saved your life down there. Come on.

Yeah?

When did that happen?

Three minutes ago, I was trapped in a room with a psychopath facing certain death.

Now, I'm trapped in a room with a psychopath facing certain death.

You've made a horrendous situation slightly worse.

Incredibly consistent with your overall impact you've had on my life.

Get down.

I was going to say, don't waste your b*ll*ts.

Who's been telling you I'm a psychopath?

Well, you keep k*lling people.

What do you want me to do? Call the cops?

Sometimes there's no way round this stuff.

Don't start that again.

Antoine?

Antoine?

Is that Guy Feron?

Antoine, I think it's all over now.

Do you really want to drag this out?

Yeah, we're just having a wee chat. We'll be out in a minute.

How long do you reckon you're going to be?

Tell you what, Guy.

Why don't you stick your ear to the middle of that door, and I'll whisper to you, like I did to your mate.

Ow!

You love it.

I don't.

I don't love it.

I was knocking this on the head.

I'm here because of you.

Really? That's... That is bizarre because I thought I was here because of you.

I thought what happened was, was you put your mork penis inside my mother's human vag*na, and I got left with nothing and nobody.

I have no way to live my life.

Because of you, I don't fit in.

Look, I'm not sorry I had sex with your mother.

And I'm proud you don't fit in over there.

I couldn't be prouder. Why would you want to?

It's as dull as shite over there, and the whole thing's built on hypocrisy.

And you know that, cos you're there every day.

You see those poor bastards wandering around the place, happy that they've been given a little slither of life to play with.

"Lewis updated his profile picture." Is that what you want?

No, I want to die of multiple g*nsh*t wounds.

It's far more life-affirming.

You're not going to die.

What are you basing your prognosis on? Total bollocks?

No.

This room.

Do you know why?

This is one of my old rooms.

See that gap up there?

That's the start of a tunnel.

And down that tunnel is a box full of semi automatics and hand grenades.

All right?

So, we're going to pop you up there, you're going to drop them down to me, and me and you are going to get out of here. Alive?

Oh, alive.

You better believe it.

Now hop along.

OK, then, Guy.

On you come.

No, don't on you come on!

Oh, Jesus Christ.

There's no weapons up there.

I know there's no weapons up there.

I was going to hold them off until you escaped.

I know you were.

Lewis...

I just didn't like it as an idea, OK?

OK.

I'm going out there.

OK.

OK, ready?

Yeah.

No, wait. I'm not. I'm not ready!

Now look at me.

I'm proud of you.

And I'm proud to know you.

Are you ready?

Ready.

One, two, three...

Don't sh**t anybody.

How long have you been here?

Oh, not long.

Boys, we're going down with Fabien.

So, keep your distance or he's liable to get hurt.

I know I said I wasn't back for sure.

What can you do?

Lewis, come on.

Try and keep up!

We were supposed to go to the pub.

Still fancy that?

You know who he reminds me of, don't you?

This ain't over. You better watch your back.

I'm arresting you on suspicion of trading controlled substances.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

No! No!

You better get out of Troy, do you understand?

Half of Troy's out hunting for him.

We're after a human.

If you see him, shout out.