01x05 - Friends and Family

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Roadies". Aired: June 2016 to August 2016.
"Roadies" is an insider’s look at the reckless, romantic, funny and often poignant lives of a committed group of "roadies," who live for music and the de facto family they’ve formed along the way. The music-infused ensemble comedy series chronicles the rock world through the eyes of music’s unsung heroes and puts the spotlight on the backstage workers who put the show on the road while touring the United States for a successful arena-level band.
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01x05 - Friends and Family

Post by bunniefuu »

Bill: Previously on Roadies...

So are you two, uh, married?



You two are in denial... about a lot of things.

You think just 'cause Sean is on retainer with Taylor Swift, I'm sitting in a tub of butter?

Times like these, I used to like a little drink.

We're gonna open with "Janine" tonight.

Time to shake things up.

I mean, I was there when they first saw each other that night, Chris and Janine.

How can you say it was cursed?

Janine broke his heart.

Good morning, everyone.

Why do you think he came on the bus in the first place?

I don't know if you were coming to see a specific person, say, me, but if you were, it... it just kind of puts me in an awkward position.

I don't feel things in the way that other people do.

Natalie, you know you got a restraining order out on you, right?

God, Kelly Ann, you're such a buzzkill sometimes.

You know that?

Shelli, is Rick okay?

Bill: Back when I was partaking, Rick and I, we... we used to party pretty hard together.

Rick's gone.


Rick the bass player's missing?

Oh, thank God you're okay.

You guys sh1tting me?


Rick and I have been traveling a path.

Great restraining order.

It's really a big help.

And how long has it been since you've last had sex?

Tina: Seven days.

Oh, poor you.

So if I don't have sex in the next two days, what happens?

First comes the fever.


Then the intense feelings of severe disconnection.


After that, flesh erosion.


Tina, this plague is real.

I urge you to have sex as soon as possible, to save your life.

Tina: Thank you, Doctor.

Thank you, Doctor.

[crowd cheers in distance]

[phone line trilling]

[voicemail beeps]


It's me again.

Uh, as I may have mentioned 18 or 20 times, we're in Denver tomorrow, and 275 miles is the closest we've been since you returned from space, so are you sure Taylor won't let you out for one day?

Call me back. Okay, babe?

I'm feeling kind of... [soft chuckle] disconnected.

Also, my sister's coming, and it would be a huge help if you were here.

[crowd cheering]

Tom: Good night, Omaha.


There she is.

They want to play an extra encore tonight.

Ugh! What's with all the new songs?

I mean, why can't we just keep the f*cking set list as it always was?

But, no!

We have to get inspired.

You okay?

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

Must be the moon.

♪ ♪

[grunts] It's a brown leather Fendi suit...

Oh, well, thank God. Okay, yeah.

I'll be in Denver tomorrow. Send it there.

Thank you.

You found the Fendi?

Well, fingers crossed.


Kelly Ann?


Next time your boyfriend works a package deal with a hotel, ask him to get us free Internet.

Uh, he's not my boyfriend.

Just ask him to reimburse us.

Harvey says write it off on our taxes, which is bullshit.

Yeah! [laughs]

Yeah, it is, but he's not my... shit.

Love Omaha.

Great show.

[toilet flushes]

Uh-oh. The concerned look.


Now the clasped hands.

Whatever it is you're about to tell me, is it gonna bum me out?

Well, it depends if we want to listen to our Hawaiian security guard.

He's, uh, he's seen some kind of darkness coming this way for weeks.

I believe everything Puna says.

I'm wondering if we should keep playing "Janine."


Because she called.

Janine called?

Yeah, and I talked to her.

Uh, she lives in Boulder now. Still a nurse.

Works in an emergency room, and she was, um, you know, hinting about wanting to see a show.

So you start playing the song for the first time in seven years, and she calls ya up.

What exactly did she say?


This is a ghost from your past."

I just wanna ask you, Christopher, if she comes to the show in Denver, you know, uh, do you want to see her?

[softly fingerpicks guitar]

Do you remember that winter she left me?

And she was so calm when she ended it.

She said she had no problem being number two to my need for self-loathing and success, but to be number three to my need to drink and drug over Denny, that she couldn't stick around to watch.

And then she finished her grapefruit juice, put down that red plastic cup on the kitchen counter, and walked out the door.


The red Solo cup, that was always up on your counter.

I kept that cup for years.


And then one day I just threw it away.

I don't need to see her, and she's better off not seeing us.

Well, we can't keep her from buying a ticket.

Denver's not sold-out?

No, no, it... it... it is, okay? Both shows.

I'm just saying, like, anybody can go on StubHub.

Well... leave her a ticket just in case she shows up, but... no backstage.

Got it. That seems perfect.

Hey, I should wear the Gram Parsons' Nudie jacket to the Denver shows, don't you think?

It's still in your storage unit, right?

Yeah. I mean, my storage unit's just my old garage, but, yes, I have it.

Oh, shit. Never mind, man.

I'm sorry.

No, it's fine.

It's fine.

I mean, you okay seeing Lorraine again?

It's not a problem.

You okay?


All right, this will be fine.


Catch you later. I'm gonna get us some steaks.

[bluesy rock music]

♪ Was a cold wind bl*wing ♪
♪ Nobody on the street ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Was a tornado warning ♪
♪ Most people had to leave ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You better hide your wicked way ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Better change your evil mind ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You better run from the sun ♪
♪ Hide from the moon ♪
♪ Wait till it's all come down ♪
♪ Sweet William back in town ♪

You didn't happen to hear about this supermoon, did you?

It actually affects things here on Earth.

I read about it this morning on Yahoo.

They say that people actually feel a gravitational pull...


Hmm. towards honesty.


Eh, you're just waiting for me to stop talking, right?



Here's what we got, okay?

Christopher's family want their own rooms because they heard that Tom's stepsister was getting her own, which she's not.

[sighs] Okay.


Uh, I told Christopher about Janine.

[knock at door]

You did?

Hey, guys.

Hey, Milo.

What's up?

You didn't mention an opener for tonight's show, right?

Just want to throw this out there.

My band, Black Atlantis, totally willing to jump in and just tear the roof off this f*cking house.

What do you think?


Actually, great. I almost forgot about this.

We got Lucius. Timing was perfect.

They're in between tours. They love the band.

Got Lucius lined up.

[grunting] God!

Lucius! f*cking...

That's amazing.

Pretty good, right?

f*cking, yeah, it's amazing.


Oh, yeah.

I'll go tell everyone.

Okay, thanks, Milo.

Cool. Yeah, you got it.

Shut that on your way out.

Milo: Good decision, Bill.

Yeah, so he asked me to get Janine a ticket.


No backstage.


And would you mind helping me out on this?

I'd do it myself, it's just I've gotta run out.

Ru... run out?

Yeah, uh, Christopher asked me to get his Nudie jacket out of storage.

He wants to wear it tonight.

Uh, I see. Well, I-I-I can send someone.

Uh, that's okay.

It's too valuable.

You know that Gram Parsons virtually created country rock when he inspired the Rolling Stones to record "Wild Horses" in 1971?

Without the man that wore that jacket, the jacket that I'm going to get, you got no Eagles, no Kenny Chesney, no Tim McGraw.

And country?

Country stays traditional, and Taylor Swift is working at Tom's instead of being out in space.

[mouthing] Yeah?


Why... why are you giving me that look?

It's like you don't trust me loose in my own hometown.

No, don't... no, don't...

You gotta relax.

Don't be ridiculous. I...

Come on.

It's not even gonna take me that long.

I'm gonna be back before you know it.

You... you know what? No.

It... you should just take as long as you need.

I'm not worried about Sweet William, in Denver, seeing Lorraine.

In... in fact, uh, gr-grab one of the runner vans.



See you when I get back.


All right, then.

♪ Like the prodigal son... ♪

[door closes]


All right.

Hey, Milo. Hey.

I heard they added eight new songs.

I hope Rick can pull it off.

Yeah, honestly, I-I-I want to say hi to you, but I can't.

That makes sense.

Why don't you s*ab my f*cking eyes out and blind me so I no longer have to witness this g*dd*mn travesty?

He just found out about you and Reg hooking up.

What? No.

What? f*ck!

It's cool. I get it.

He's English.

He's like this forbidden fruit.

Like a pale, bland... is a potato a fruit?

Wait, people actually think that I'm with Reg?

Well, you did steal eggs together.

Yeah, it was vol... not voluntarily.

And you started wearing perfume.

I felt like smelling better.

And there was that one picture of Reg on your Instagram.

But that was a group sh*t that he b*mb.

I find it incredibly sexist that people think I'm making love to him in his spin-centric socks.

If I stop wearing f*cking perfume, will people think we've broken up?

See, the fact that you've formed an opinion about his socks...

Oh, Jesus!

By the way, is he circumcised or does he have that extra flap of skin that you have to peel back?

You know who's spreading this shit is you.

Because everybody knows you can't keep a secret, even a fabricated one.


The truth will come out because it's the supermoon.

Shelli: There is no f*cking air up here!

man: Shelli?

Ugh! Go for Shelli.

Avoid her today.

Sean's not coming, and homegirl really needs to get laid.


man: Camera one good to go.

Yeah, yeah.



I've been assigned to help you with the friends and family guest list, plus anything else you may need.

Nice. I-I mean, hi.

Bill: Morning.

Uh, follow me.

Bill: Morning, morning.

It's a ritual we do anytime we get into a new venue.

Bill: Okay.


Denver, Colorado.

[chuckles] The Mile-High Ciudad.

Hometown of the SHB.

Lord knows I got into more than my fair share of trouble around these parts.

I did. [chuckles]

[clears throat]

Anyhow, for many of you, this, uh, return to the scene of the crime will be a nonstop grind filled with friends and family who, unfortunately, you have to see again because you were weak and you friended 'em months earlier on Facebook, not knowing their true motives, tickets.



Anyhow, Led Zeppelin made their North American debut right here, the day after Christmas, 1968.

I'm talking early Led Zeppelin.

I'm talking expl*sive, hungry, Robert "Percy" Plant Led Zeppelin.

Managed by tough, loyal, unforgiving Peter Grant, "We're not leaving America until you know who we are" Led Zeppelin.

I'm talking "Train Kept A-Rollin'" in a basement rehearsal room Led Zeppelin.

I'm talking John Henry Bonham at the kit, John Paul Jones and James Patrick Page on these boards right here Led Zeppelin!

That's the Led Zeppelin that I'm talking about!

man: On bass, we got John Paul Jones.

[crowd cheering]

If you've ever been to the redwoods, you can see it.

man: On the drums, John Bonham.

If you've been to the Colosseum in Rome, you can feel it.

man: Lead guitar, Jimmy Page.

And when you're standing right here, if you're quiet...

man: Vocals, Robert Plant.

You can still hear it.

man: Please welcome Led Zeppelin.

All right, one last bit of high-altitude clarity for you people.

This is only day one of our pain-in-the-ass hometown doubleheader, so pace yourselves.

Breathe, if possible.

Stevie The Rock Doc is on hand with B12 sh*ts, if anybody needs one.

And, uh, don't forget to look up in the sky tonight.

It's the supermoon.

That only happens once every 37 years.

All right? So here we go.

Hometown number one. Let's do it.

Denver, Colorado.

all: Yeah-oh!


Shelli: Kelly Ann?

Oh, shit.

Reg: Bill!

Oh, shit.


I am off to fetch Mike Finger.

Whoa, wait a second! What? You're doing...

Well, he's the band's Internet archivist, the curator and founder of the almost frighteningly comprehensive fan site The Blue and The Black.

Finger holds the key to our box set.

Oh! What does he look like?


I can't seem to find a picture of him anywhere.

Yeah, no, I know that he's been running our fan site for years, and no one's ever met him or seen a picture of him.

Hmm. That's odd.

Obviously he doesn't get out much.

I'm guessing, uh, translucent skin, bad posture, stained shirt from the early '90s, Howard Hughes fingernails, and I'd bring breath mints.

And not for you.

Reg, hey, just... I gotta tell you.

I have a bad feeling about you bringing Mike Finger here.

Bill, don't be ridiculous.

I am evangelizing the core.

"Evangelizing the core"?

Shelli: Kelly Ann?

I need you to take photos at the VIP meet-and-greet.

We're doing VIP packages now?

Uh, yes, we are, thanks to your "anything for a buck bloke."



Satan's spawn... I mean, uh, Staton's spawn, is going to spend the day with his godparents, God bless them.

Yeah, I know, I know. But I'm here for you.

Me too.

Well, thanks.

Thank you.

I'm here for you too.

Well, let's get busy.

[sighs] "Started."

Copy that.

I just think that meet-and-greets are...


Ah, done.

You... ooh... just expect me to do all this bullshit that I never agreed to do.

Shelli: Chris likes 67 degrees, but Tom's dressing room must be 70 and, apparently, there's only one control for this whole floor.

Copy that.

So we'll have to set it all to 67 and pray to God Tom's room can support a space heater.

Copy that.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Oh, your sister Sharon has been calling the promoter rep, saying she wants to sit closer.

Uh, tell her she can eat a bag of vegan dicks, but not in those words.

Never... never mind. I'll call her myself.

[chuckles] Copy and copy.

It's always about requests and passes and her judgmental eyes and her SoulCycle thighs.

[laughs] That rhymed.

Put her with everyone else. She was horrible to me my entire childhood.



[background chatter]

And may I say that... I'm very sorry to hear that?

[sentimental pop music]

You are?

You deserve better.

I do?

Of course.


[quick inhale] Should I get that space heater?


♪ You will forget someday... ♪


[scoffs softly]

♪ I don't need another by my side ♪
♪ I need you to tell me that's all right... ♪

Dear God, give me high-altitude strength.


♪ Call my name ♪
♪ Call my name call my name loud ♪
♪ I may think about you sometimes ♪
♪ And I hope that you're doing fine... ♪

Mike? Sorry, forgive me.

♪ Still got us inside my mind, my mind... ♪


Who the f*ck is Mike?

Clearly not you.


Don't touch me!

I don't like to be touched.

No, neither do I.

Just being f*cking courteous.



[laughs, moans] Ow!

♪ Still miss us like hell now... ♪

Reg Whitehead?

♪ Call my name, call my name... ♪


Uh, are you all right?

Yeah, I am good. I am fine.

No, thank you. Hi.


Come on. f*ck!

You sure you're all right?

Yeah, good.

How was your flight? [chuckles]

♪ ♪
♪ Still miss us like hell now ♪
♪ ♪

[vehicle approaches]

[engine shuts off]

[car door closes]

[footsteps, keys jingle]

Lorraine Navarro?

Hi, I'm from the Denver Historical Society.

Now, is it true that Bill Hanson used to live here?

'Cause we were wanting to put up a little plaque.


How you doing, Lorraine?

See you cut down the forsythia, huh?

Snowplow got them.

How's Chuck?

I'm with someone new.

No, not remarried. Just happy.

Look, I-I-I know this is a little weird.

Ah, a little weird would be you calling.

You actually being here is...

[sighs] worrying.

Are you dying?

Yeah, I am.

But very slowly just like everybody else.

Have you been drinking?

No, I haven't.

I, uh... can... I'm done with all that.

I kind of turned over a new leaf and just kind of one day at a time...

Oh, Lord.

Please don't tell me this is one of those weepy amends things.

Oh, no, no! Hey!

No, it's... it's not.

Is... it's nothing like that.


Because my life is really good now, and I'm actually at peace with everything you did, except maybe the last thing.

[sighs] I, um, uh, just wanted to get Christopher's Nudie jacket out of our... your garage.

If you didn't burn it.

I didn't burn a thing.

Just a few years I'd like to get back.

Thank you.

[takes sharp breath]

Hey, we had some good times though, didn't we?

[scoffs] Yeah, we wrecked a few beds.

[both chuckle]

[pensive rock music]

You look good, Lorraine.

♪ ♪


♪ Sleep don't visit ♪
♪ So I choke on sun ♪
♪ And the days blur into one ♪
♪ And the backs of my eyes ♪
♪ Hum with things I've never done ♪
♪ Sheets are swaying ♪
♪ From an old clothesline ♪
♪ Like a row of captured ghosts ♪
♪ Over old d*ad grass ♪
♪ Was never much but we've made the most ♪
♪ Welcome home ♪
♪ ♪

What the f*ck? Ow!


[grunts] Kelly Ann for Puna!

I've got super fan Natalie Shayne! Boom!

Oh! Kelly Ann, didn't you hear?

I'm legit! All the way live.

It's real.


I'm with Rick now.

It happened in Atlanta.

We're together.

We're like friends and lovers.

We're like... flovers.

Rick's flovers with everyone.

This is different!

Be happy!

I mean, me and Rick, you and Reg...

Natalie, there's nothing going on between me and Reg.

I have so much to teach you.

I'm like one of those Greek Shakespearean characters who takes you across the river of great knowledge.

Can you tell someone to make sure that there's almond milk in Rick's dressing room?

Rick doesn't drink almond milk unless it's almond milk beer.

Ugh! And it's super cold in his dressing room!

And... can you see if you can find me a cronut?

[snaps fingers] Thanks.

[somber folk music]

Anyone have eyes on Bill?

Have we checked the morgue?

Kidding. I think.

Of course, if you really want to create the ultimate box set for this band, what you need is... the yearbook.

The "yearbook"? So what... exactly is a-a-a "yearbook"?

Oh, do you not have them in England?

Okay, it... basically it's like a big book that kids make to commemorate the end of the school year.

Legend has it that Christopher stumbled upon someone's old yearbook at a Salvation Army.

It had all these inscriptions in it.

Now, it became kind of a talisman for him.

Some say that many of the "Janine" era lyrics were inspired by and written in the pages of the actual yearbook.


Of course, others say it doesn't exist.

I'm actually one of those people.

Well, that is fascinating.

[door opens]

Ah, Shelli.


This is the...

Oh, Shelli Anderson, production manager.


This is the magnificent, charismatic, and not-so-shadowy-anymore Mr. Mike Finger.

Uh-huh. Shelli for Jojo.

Can we get a working pass for Mike Finger?

Oh, my God.

Uh, Reg, I need you. [sniffs]

Uh, there is a woman named Janine.

Janine Beckwith?

[clears throat]

Uh, I need you to meet her at will call.

Make sure she gets two tickets, but no pass.

That's very important.

Shelli, with all due respect...


[whispers] I am inches away from getting Finger to cr*ck.

Can't you or Bill...

Listen, Reginald.

Maybe it's the g*dd*mn supermoon, but Bill has picked this wonderful f*cking day to completely disappear.

Which doesn't mean he's gonna drink again.

Nobody's saying that. Maybe he is on a quest for some mythical jacket.

Maybe that's not as fake as it sounded.

But I am dealing with some severe guest list bullshit, including the f*cking governor, which not one member of this band wishes to meet.

Also, I am about to see my sister Sharon, whose approval I have never once gotten and never, ever stopped longing for.

Do you want to see me sh**t myself with this temperature g*n?

[temperature g*n beeps]

If not, you will find this Janine, give her her f*cking ticket, no backstage.

Explain to her that the band has to leave right after the show, which, weirdly, is true.

They're pulling a runner.

And P.S., you're welcome, because she is probably the only one who was smart enough to keep anything box-set wise.


That's not your name?

It is.

I just enjoyed hearing it being said by you.

I will find this Janine.

[sharply exhales]



Nobody is safe today.

Wait! What does she... look like?

Uh, she probably couldn't tell you.

No one's seen Janine in years.

She's actually here, like, tonight?

That is crazy. Oh!

Hold your every thought.

I will be back in a jiff.

Less than a jiff.

[door opens and closes]

Ghost of SHB past returns.

[mellow guitar chords]

♪ ♪

[rock music plays on stereo]

♪ Radio nowhere ♪
♪ Is there anybody alive out there? ♪
♪ I was spinnin' round a d*ad dial ♪
♪ Another lost number in a file ♪
♪ Dancin' down a dark hole ♪
♪ Searchin' for a world with some soul ♪
♪ This is radio nowhere ♪
♪ Is there anybody alive out there? ♪
♪ Radio nowhere... ♪


♪ Is there anybody ♪
♪ Alive out there? ♪
♪ Is there anybody alive out there? ♪

[clattering, thudding]

♪ I just want to hear some rhythm ♪
♪ I just want to hear some rhythm ♪
♪ I just want to hear some rhythm ♪
♪ I just want to hear some rhythm ♪
♪ I want a thousand guitars ♪
♪ Pounding drums ♪

[rapid drumming]

♪ Million different voices speaking in tongues ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is radio nowhere ♪
♪ Is there anybody alive out there? ♪
♪ Radio nowhere... ♪
♪ pop music ♪
♪ Oh... ♪

I mean, for f*ck's sake. Uh...

♪ Yeah yeah ♪


♪ ♪
♪ Baby baby why... ♪

Who you looking for?

I am not sure.

I never get enough f*cking information from these people.

Although it's not entirely their fault since...

Since no one's seen Janine in so long?

♪ ♪

Janine Beckwith.

♪ ♪

N...now you say your name.

I am Reg. Hello.

[chuckles] Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you as well.

[slow rock music]

♪ ♪

[slow rock continues]

♪ ♪

Yo, Wes! Meet Mike Finger.

He runs The Blue and The Black. He's consulting on the Staton-House box set.

Hey, Wes.

So this is what you look like?

Uh, s... consulting?

I bet you have all the recordings from the Caribou years.

Matter of fact, I do, yeah.

How about the Kitchen Sessions?

Oh, nobody has the Kitchen Sessions.

Those are mostly a rumor.

Uh, bet you don't have that one radio show where they debuted "Joy Motel" in Pittsburgh.

Oh, everybody has that.

The files came out on a torrent last year.

Hey, do you have the, uh, KEXP session where a f*re breaks out in the studio?

Uh, no.

Okay, well, what about the original version of "Miss Begotten" with Jeff Tweedy singing a verse?

I've got all three takes.

The third one, got it from a collector in Holland.

Got it on a DAT found at a garage sale.


What quality?

Oh, straight from the board, yeah.

Wow. [chuckles]

I thought Wes was the expert at everything.

Mike Finger, you are amazing.

Well, hey, I'm just... just a bit player in all of this, right?

[all chuckle]

Hey, that, uh, coffee almost smells like Tanzanian Blue.

It is Tanzanian Blue, actually Oh, you know, uh, the... they use child sl*ve labor to harvest those beans.

Amnesty International's gotten involved.

Eddie Vedder's been asking people not to buy them.

Oh... I am so sorry that I brought up Pearl Jam.


I do think that Mike McCready is a genius, but if he was really smart, he... you know, h-he'd hire you back.

It was an honor to meet you... Wes.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

Kelly Ann for Milo. Rick knows about the meet-and-greet with the governor, right?

♪ She offers her some other way out of the hole... ♪


♪ She's overachieving ♪
♪ Chasing her dreams... ♪

All right, be that way.

Listen, Janine.

Uh, unfortunately, the band needs to leave, like, straight after the show, so...

So... so no backstage?

I'm afraid not, no.

♪ Flash your teeth though the inside hurts... ♪

[sighs] You have no idea the weight you just lifted off me.

Well, that's good.

Do you wanna?

Is Bill back yet? And can we get an ETA on Lucius?

Oh, also, the second my sister checks in, call me, so I can emotionally prepare.


Oh, yes!

Mmm. Okay.

Now cut me off. [sniffs]

So do you know this Mike Finger?


There's something about him.

I don't trust him.

Don't be jealous. Everybody loves you, West Coast.


You don't have to say that.

Okay, say it. [chuckles]

So your sister's coming?


She's a year older than me, and she never lets me forget it.

Like I care.

Oh, Kelly Ann lords it over me that she's six minutes older.

She clings on to that shit like a blanket.

See, Sharon ha... had the Barbie that could stand by itself.

My Barbie had to lean against something.

Kelly Ann decapitated my favorite Ninja Turtle.




Aww. Leonardo.

[whimpers softly]

[moans softly]

Uh, uh, Wes? [sniffs]

You, um... you really... smell like weed.

You smell quite good also.

Do you want to look at the supermoon later?


Hell yeah.

♪ ♪

[whispers] Okay.


♪ ♪

Rick! Hello?

♪ ♪


♪ ♪

[music increases in volume]

♪ ♪

Kelly Ann: Guys!

Guys! Look.

I'm sorry to pull the plug on your rave.

♪ ♪


Ricky, you in there?

Is he gonna be okay?

He only drank beer!

Oh, Rick!

[door slams]

He's been taking Lunesta.

Oh, right, and, um, s-some Vicodin.

Pammie? Thank you, lover.

I'm gonna give him some amphetamines.

Help me with his pants.

Stay with us, handsome!

[all grunting]

Kelly Ann: Ah! Oh, he peed!

It's on me!

No. This is on me.

It's actually on me.

No, the pee. The pee is here.

[straining grunts]

Dr. Stevie: Ah, mm-hmm.

[Kelly Ann sniffs]

Rick: Oh, f*ck!

Dr. Stevie: Mm-hmm.

That's my favorite bass player, baby.

Milo whispers: Hey.

Not you, Milo.

I want Natalie.

I'm right here, babe.

[Rick groans]

Rick: I'm really sad.

I'm never sad.

I'm also really chilly.

Can't we change the temperature?

Dr. Stevie, he's supposed to meet the governor today.

He is?


Oh, he'll be fine probably.

Okay, my friend, one more coming at ya.




Is that all you found?

And, Bill, I told you I don't need amends.

Unfortunately, I think I do.

Maybe wanna sit down for a minute.

This could take a while.

[folk rock music]

♪ ♪

"Dear... dear Lorraine..." [coughs]

"It's high time I set right the wrongs that I did..."

[voice fades]

Okay. So, uh, here we are.

Sweet. Right. Right down in the front.

Oh, right here? Okay.

Yeah, go ahead.

Um, what number?

Seven and eight.

Seven and eight?


Uh, those two guys there.

Oh, okay.

All righty, there you go.

Okay, thank you.

Well, enjoy.


I'm sure you have some things to do, so...

No, no, not really. No, no.


Uh, nothing.

Nothing that can't, um...

[sneezes loudly]

Um, wow.

God, that was significant.

That was loud. That was really loud.

That was so loud.


[both laugh]

What are you... oh, God.

Tell me you're not allergic to horses.

No, no. Uh, it's, uh, hay.

H-hay? Hay?

Yes, I am Al...

Allergic to...

Allergic to hay. There's... hay.

In your hair.

Oh, hay.



Hey, hay.


Yeah, that gets everywhere.

I, um, uh, I board a couple horses up in Boulder.


You rescue horses?

I've... I've just never heard of... of... of any... of anybody rescuing horses.



Say, did you happen to, uh, keep anything from back in the day?

Recordings or... or... or journals?

Yeah, I mean, please. I'm a pack rat.

[both laugh]

I kept... I kept everything.



[door thuds closed]

[whispers] Hey! Hey! I think Shelli just h*t on me.



I'm 90% sure we're watching the supermoon later.


How high are you?

Like 70%.

Shelli's married, and you nearly just got fired, so can you just...

Can I just what? Do what you do?

Pretend I have no feelings?

Okay, that's bullshit.

Like, you chose the one guy who will literally turn everyone against you and you pick him to have a crush on.

How dare you define me by a perceived nonexistent crush!

You created your perfect match, Kel.

I mean, you're not with him but you're mad at him, and now you're thinking about how to break up with him.

Which is perfect, 'cause you get to bail on a whole relationship that never even existed, and now you're safe and bundled up like a little, happy, lonely seahorse.

But what do I know?

What's that? Mountain Dew?

No, it's pee.

[smacks lips]

It's not mine.

[smacks lips] Copy.

Okay, well, that's all I got.

Oh, except, do not trust Mike Finger.

Milo: And then Rick asked for her.

Dude, he was barely conscious.

This fan letter has chapters.

Oh, I-I got 'em. They're in the gift room.

woman: Copy that.

Okay, how prepared are you?


Don't f*ck with me.

Your dream has arrived. Lucius is MIA.

God knows why.

Black Atlantis is alive.

You're opening for the SHB.

You better be f*cking good.

No word from Bill yet?

You sure?

Holy shit. I can barely breathe.

Holy f*cking shit!

What are we gonna play?

Ohh! I got... I gotta get my good jeans.

Uh, th... they... they're in the freezer on the bus.

Freezing makes fresh.

Washing makes fresh, but never mind.

[upbeat acoustic rock music]

♪ ♪

Oh, uh, wait, wait, wait. Don't plug that in.

I double-checked. The room can't handle it.

Oh, okay. Copy.

Yeah, I can't risk anything getting bl*wn.

It's hometown. Tom is nervous as hell.

If he can't complete his ritual of listening to Nick Cave on his turntable, shit will h*t the fan, or in this case, the space heater.

But thanks for trying.

My pleasure. Hey.

Did your sister ever make it?

Oh, not yet.

I-I called her to try to get an ETA, but it's the kind of day where you leave messages and reach no one, you know?

I sure do.

Hey, did you know that there's a supermoon tonight?

Yes, ma'am.

["Tomorrow Morning" by the Blue Nile playing]

♪ This may not last until tomorrow ♪

So, get rid of this?

♪ ♪

[whispers] Wow.

The f*cking M word.


♪ ♪
♪ And time will tell us all ♪

Hey, I got... I got it.



Thanks, whoever you are.

[overlapping chatter]

♪ We could be married ♪

woman: I get a T-shirt! -

man: Let me grab a T-shirt.

man: Do you have a large?

Grab this. Grab this one.

Oh, hey, it's you.


People really love free shit.

It's not just a room full of random people.

It's not?

No, it's... it's a gathering of beings that helped create the Staton-House Band.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

I-I know most of them from photos.

Uh, guy with the mustache?

That's Mr. Lance Deegan, Chris' English teacher.

Taught Christopher to fall in love with words, and then he got fired for having an affair with the vice-principal's wife.

Um, that is Tom's stepfather.

Never paid a nickel to help his career, but now he's got a blog and a music school called "Joy Motel."

Ugh. Let's hate him.

No, I don't hate anybody that has anything to do with this band.

I mean, think about it, you know?

You wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be here if he hadn't been an assh*le to Tom.

About 25 of the songs are actually about that dynamic.

I love how much you love this band.

I bet you can't wait to meet 'em all when they get here.

Oh, no.

Uh, no, like, I don't... I...

I-I can't... I can't meet them.

You can't?

Uh... the... th-they... they live, uh, here... and here.

It's better than meeting them, you know?

Th-that way they're always perfect.

I know what you mean.

I-I don't even want to meet Janine.

She's here, tonight.

I mean, talk about a supermoon. Oh, baby.


The actual Janine from the song?

[small laugh]

Lot of people thought she was d*ad.

I mean, of course she could be a ghost, right?

It's that kind of night.

[nellow guitar]

♪ ♪

[crowd cheering in distance]

[groans and grunts]

Milo: Are we... we ready? We ready?

Hell yeah!

Hell yeah!


f*ck yeah.

It's good to be... it's good to be a little nervous, right?

I mean, it's totally normal.

I was talking to my mom today about...

Okay, okay, you can stop talking now!

What? They... they're here?

Jess: We are so sorry, Shelli.

Uh, we had a... some bus problems, and, uh, you know, it's...

Holly: Yeah, just... just tell her the truth.

We were watching "d*ad Sex" on the bus, and we totally lost track of time.

I get it.

I mean, how f*cking great is David Spade?

I have such a crush on him.

How is this season gonna end?

Will he ever find Jen?

I don't know!

man: Ladies and gentlemen, Lucius!

Shelli: Okay. Go.

woman: All right, guys.

Good show, guys.

[crowd cheering]

Good evening, Denver!

[cheers and applause]

♪ It's a feeling like a born again teen ♪
♪ Got a heartbeat like we're only 16 ♪
♪ Ha laa ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la ♪

[band plays upbeat rock music]

♪ Would you take my hand baby? ♪
♪ You know you know I like to dance maybe ♪
♪ We'll be good we can be good you and I ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You can follow me... ♪

Where are you?

Are you suffocating in a storage unit?

Did a g*ng of Nudie-obsessed jacket thieves take you down?

Oh, and, uh, the fabulous Rick, uh, had a rather substantial mess-up.

I found Dr. Stevie, and we're okay now, but just...

[sighs] please call me.

For some reason, I-I just need to hear your voice, um, and that you're okay, okay?

All right, just call me.

man: Shelli. We think we have eyes on your sister.


man: Yeah, section 343, sitting with Double D. Long black hair, wearing a pea coat?

Uh, no.

Um, dyed blonde hair and... she'd never wear a pea coat.

♪ Pull me in a little closer ♪
♪ Do you recognize me? ♪
♪ I have had my eye on you for quite a while ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Never seen your moves like this ♪
♪ Always such self-confidence ♪
♪ I'm thinking how your lips taste next to mine ♪
♪ ♪
♪ My knees shake and my hair is raising ♪
♪ Burning from this heat we're making ♪
♪ When the b*at kicks in will we survive? ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪

Got it steamed. [chuckles]

Hey, check that out.

Huh? Yeah.

[laughs] Hey!

Thanks, man.


God, I hope it wasn't a drag.

No, no.

Surprisingly, uh, really okay.

Hey, gonna be a great hometown show.

So, um... is she here?

Yup, but don't worry about it, okay?

'Cause I got it all taken care of.


I think.

Ah, talk to you in a bit. You look good.

♪ Dying, dying, dying, dying ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Dying ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Laaaaa ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la ♪
♪ La-laaa ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la-la la-la ♪
♪ It's a feeling like a born again teen ♪
♪ Got a heartbeat like we're only 16 ♪
♪ La-laaa ♪
♪ La la la la la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la-la la-la ♪
♪ It's a feeling like a born again teen ♪
♪ Got a heartbeat like we're only 16 ♪

[cheers and applause]

Thank you.


Congratulations on all your success too.

What a day. Wow.

I mean it.

I didn't realize it would feel so good, and I got these great sh*ts.

Didn't know that you smoked.

I don't.

Your sh*ts are, uh, very artistic.


Where is the... the one simple sh*t with the governor, his wife, Rick, and the street sign?

Well, anybody could have taken that sh*t.

Then next time, I'll find anybody.

But, hey, maybe your boyfriend will like 'em.


We all know. Why hide it?

He likes you, and he's actually here, which, in my world, is a f*cking plus.

Yeah, you don't understand.

And you have no f*cking clue how lucky you are.

You can still do anything.

Terrible shit happens all the time.

People die or... or go leave to do some stupid errand and never come back!

So stop standing there and... and looking at all of us like, "Give me space. I'm, like, finding myself."

Who cares if you find yourself?

f*ck Reg or don't, but do a favor for all of us who can't.

f*cking enjoy yourself.

[sentimental folk music]

♪ ♪

There is one usable sh*t in there.

♪ ♪


♪ ♪


♪ ♪

I got one sh*t.

♪ ♪

You! Lucius!

Hi, hi, hi.


Hi, I'm Jess. Oh!

Hi, Jess.

Oh, this is Holly.



Yeah, love your band.

I'm a fan, and after seeing your show... by the way, this is, uh, my soul mate...






Nice to meet you.

I just think, with your skills...

I mean, you just... you just look at each other and you sing.

But what if you looked out, you know, and you just f*cking pinned people with your hotness?


I don't know.

It's just... look, we're in the truth tunnel, right?

We are in the tunnel of truth.

You could just command and be your hotness.



Wield it like a w*apon of sex and hotness and musicianship.

Uh, okay.

I-I really don't get this. Um...

Um, you have so many respectful songs about women.

I know!

And we have weeks together to just vibe!

The three of us... the four of us.

Okay, dude, uh...

[thumps glass]

Bill: Hey, fellas.

Check out the supermoon tonight. Hi!

Lucius quit. Yeah.

Rick Welcoming Committee strikes again.

I mean, I was really excited about weeks of Lucius.

I was excited about it.

Hey, I-I'm sorry it took me so long to get back.

I just...

You had a great day.

I did. I-I really did.

I mean, I-I feel, you know, 40 pounds lighter, you know, in... in my head.

Ha! It's the altitude.


So did I miss anything?

[glass shatters]

You assh*le.

You f*cking assh*le.

Where were you?


You... you scared me.

You can't disappear like that in Denver!

And why haven't you answered your phone all day?

I just... hey.




Shelli... hey! [laughs]


[laughs] Hey.

I might need to h*t you again.

Two's enough. Okay, Sugar Ray?

How'd it go with your sister?

Hmm. She never showed.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It really hurt my feelings, but I forgive her, for some reason.

And I missed you so much, I, uh, I h*t on at least two people.

You... you tramp!

I want you to be happy, Bill.

I'm fine.

You Se... you seem so alone.

I'm... I'm actually the best I've been, ever.

You seem kind of alone though, you know, even though I know you're not.

It's Denver, you know? I...

I hate Denver.

Me too.

[mellow guitar chords]

♪ ♪



Look how beautiful that is.

Yeah, it's... it's really quite amazing.

Not even looking at it.

I did. Earlier, I did.

Oh. [laughs]

Put your number in my phone and I'll text it to you.

So that must have been, uh, uh, rather strange for you earlier, hearing that song.

[sighs and chuckles]

Which one?

Oh, I just presumed that the song "Janine" was about you.


Oh, but, sure, I mean, yeah.

I guess it's about us or me.

So is "Just Between Us" and "Besotted."

God, which one am I leaving out?

♪ So many songs about me ♪


Oh, um, "Aching is an Understatement."

Do you know that one?

How's it go?

♪ My heart keeps bleeding ♪
♪ 'Cause I keep needing you ♪

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, now you know it?

Now I know it. Thank you.

And, you know, he denies that "We Fooled No One" is about me, but I'm the one that wears a gold cross and never takes it off, so, yeah.

[sighs] I don't know if the girl in those songs ever really existed.

She definitely doesn't anymore.

That's quite... that's quite...

What is hap...

It's fine. It's false alarm.

Sorry, I don't...

What was that?

That was terrifying.

I got...

I thought a sneeze was gonna come.

I sort of got a... it's... it's fine.

Yeah, well, okay, well, um, what happened to your head?

I, um, I was backing away from something and, uh...


[sentimental folk music]

I lost my balance.

You need some fresh aloe Vera.

I grow some in my garden. Maybe you could...

♪ ♪
♪ We been gone... ♪

Well, it's time to go.

♪ That I'm almost afraid to go home... ♪

But, um, thank you.

♪ A long road is a long ♪
♪ Dragged out imagination ♪
♪ Where things can go wrong ♪
♪ But we keep rolling on... ♪
♪ ♪

Would you, um...


Li... would you like to come back tomorrow?

Is this you asking, or is this you asking for Christopher?

This is me. This is very much me.

♪ Guessing, I'd say... ♪

Then very much yes.

I'll come back.

Put some ice on that.

♪ Our ticket to taking... ♪

Good night.

Good night.

♪ And we'll all be okay ♪
♪ ♪
♪ We'll be okay ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Dusty trails can lead you to ♪
♪ A golden road ♪
♪ I've been told... ♪

That's the Dylan '80s photograph pose.

♪ Can't remember who it was... ♪


♪ Will a penny for her thoughts ♪
♪ Leave me broke? ♪
♪ 'Cause everyone's around ♪
♪ And I'm still alone ♪
♪ Everyone's around right now ♪
♪ And I'm still alone ♪
♪ It's all in the manual ♪
♪ That we've been writing ♪
♪ A future instructional guide ♪
♪ ♪
♪ If we skip ahead to our prefilled dreams ♪
♪ We'd be lost without our own advice... ♪


♪ We'll be all right ♪
♪ ♪
♪ We'll be all right ♪
♪ ♪



♪ Dusty trails can lead you ♪
♪ To a golden road ♪
♪ I've been told ♪
♪ Can't remember who it was ♪
♪ But all he spoke ♪
♪ Will a penny for his thoughts... ♪

[whispers] Now, yeah.

♪ Leave me broke? ♪
♪ 'Cause everyone's around ♪
♪ And I'm still alone ♪
♪ Everyone's around right now... ♪

[exhales deeply]

♪ And I'm still alone ♪
♪ ♪
♪ I'm... ♪

Rick is staring straight at us.

Don't worry about Rick.


You know, I think we should live here.

I mean, we got meals they could bring us.

There's a TV right there.

We could even get the news.

I-I'm just saying, this is us, you know?

I even like the artwork.

I say we stay.

We don't even move from this spot, ever.


♪ Halfway to heaven... ♪

I have been wanting to get a look at that moon all day.

Yeah. All right.

That's a good idea.

Let's get out of here.


♪ You only have halfway to go ♪
♪ Dusty trails can lead you ♪
♪ To a golden road ♪
♪ I've been told ♪
♪ Can't remember who it was ♪
♪ But all he spoke ♪
♪ Will a penny for his thoughts ♪
♪ Leave me broke? ♪
♪ 'Cause everyone's around ♪
♪ And I'm still alone ♪
♪ Everyone's around right now ♪
♪ And I'm still alone ♪
♪ Dusty trails can lead you to ♪
♪ A golden road ♪
♪ I've been told ♪
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