02x07 - Delusion

[bunniefuu]

Shh.

Baal doesn't use brute force.

He breeds paranoia, gets into people's psyches, turning them against each other.

[all screaming]

[glass shattering]

Ruby: The Necronomicon is the only way we can banish Baal back to the underworld.

The book, it did something to me.

Pablo: It changed me.

You're becoming one with the book.

[chanting in foreign language]

[Chet yells]

Just you and me now Chet.

Cheryl, this only feels half as good as it used to.

[Chet grunts]

Chet!

[screaming]

[chainsaw buzzing]

Ash: And that, Elk Grove, is how you take care of business.

Ash! Behind you!

[Ash grunting]

Shh.

Baal/Ruby: Wouldn't it be much easier, [bangs] to work together?

[garbled voice plays on recorder]

[clock chiming]

[roaring]

[screaming]

[screeching]

[yells]

[screaming]

[evil laughter]

[chainsaw buzzing]

[screaming, panting]

Oh.

Ow.

Where am I?

[eerie music playing]

[water dripping]

[indistinct whispering]

[faint growling]

You had the nightmare again.

Where'd you come from?

Who are you?

You don't know who I am today?

Never saw your mug before in my life.

Hm. Memory loss.

[papers rustling]

It's not a positive development.

I'm Doctor Peacock. Your psychiatrist, remember?

[chuckling] My shrink?

Ah, well, boy, the joke's on you there Doc, because I don't have a shrink.

I don't even have health care, in fact, I do my own surgery.

That's for your own safety.

You've been becoming increasingly violent of late.

Ash, I've been your doctor ever since your psychotic break.

My what? My psychotic break?

Yes, Ash.

You m*rder*d four people in a cabin.

Oh, Christ!

Here we go, with that horseshit again.

Uh... you know what?

That wasn't me, Doc.

That was some evil BS.

After the murders, you created a complex delusion to justify your actions.

It all hinged on an evil "Book."

Ever since then, I've been trying to help you pinpoint that delusion, and destroy it.

Okay, so you want to... destroy my delusion?

That's right.

Rid yourself of the Book, and the nightmare will be over.

Okay.

You know Doc, I think I'm starting to get it.

Good.

[suspenseful music playing]

[choking]

I know who you are.

You are that demon Bill.

Oh, sorry, Baal!

You know that that book can send you back, right?

So you want to scramble my brain until I give it to you.

Well think again!

The only person who scrambles my brain, pal, is me, by doing the fun stuff, like drinking glue, and sniffing booze!

Ash, I can't breathe!

They said that you were crafty.

You led me right to you.

Now I'm going to k*ll you, just like I k*lled your father!

[choking continues]

[Ash chuckling]

I didn't really k*ll your father, that just kind of sounded cool.

The point is, you're dead!

Ash, it's me. Your doctor.

You know, Ruby said this would be hard.

Buddy, I've had harder turds.

You are a joke of a demon!

[both grunting]

[Ash breathing in slow motion]

We will break you of these delusions, Ash.

I'm not giving up on you.

Yeah?

Well you, can suck my saggy bills...

Baal.

[splattering]

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunting, mumbling]

[faint growling]

[groaning, growling]

No. No! No!

[gasping]

What did you do to me?

You're the hardest patient I've ever treated, Ash.

Most people, after a brief discussion, see things my way.

Not you, though. You're special.

Yeah, I'll show you special.

I'll shove you on that short bus straight back to hell, buddy.

You have to understand that my reality is reality, Ashley.

Does the patient need...

The patient needs to get out of this dump, and tell his friends that he found the demon!

We're fine in here, Nurse. We're making progress.

Oh no, we're not, we're...

[suspenseful music playing]

Ruby? Ruby!

He's right here, we can finish this!

I'll come back later.

No, no, no! Don't go!

Tell Pablo...!

And Kelly?

You better not hurt them.

How could I hurt them? They're all in your head.

You invented this entire narrative.

The team, the Book, so that you wouldn't have to face the truth.

You m*rder*d your friends in cold blood.

Says you, Captain Creepy.

[sighing]

I think it's time that we tried a new tactic.

Seeing as you're unable to face reality by yourself, I've brought in a friend who might be able to help.

Meet Ashy Slashy.

A puppet. I hate puppets!

Even stunningly handsome ones.

Get that out of here!

See, it's easy.

[faint growling]

Okay, this is not me.

I'm not doing this.

Right.

Just like you didn't k*ll your friends.

Hey, pal, what's the scoop?

Hm? [gasping]

Ah come on, you can talk to me, Ash.

I'm all ears.

This is dumb.

You're dumb.

You're dumb!

You're old!

You're short!

How is this happening?

Whose side are you even on?

I'm on our side, Ash.

I'm you, but the part of "you" who's willing to face reality.

Who believes the doctor.

Who wants to face the delusions.

Let's rid ourselves of the Necronomicon, Ash.

We don't need it anymore.

[electricity buzzing]

[thumping]

Ruby, get back in here, and help me.

Ash: Tell them I'm not crazy!

There is no Ruby.

No Kelly. No Pablo.

You made it all up!

No. No! They're real!

[pounding]

[evil laughter]

Ah!

Give in.

Let the doctor help us.

Get your filthy puppet butthole off of my arm!

[yells, groaning]

[grunting]

[groaning, panting]

[grunting]

[woman laughing]

[doorknob rattling]

Man [whispering]: Let me out.

Hey!

Mommy!

[smashing]

[gasping]

[teeth chomping]

Ow!

[yelling]

[chomping continues]

[rattling, creaking]

[grunting, panting]

[woman laughing]

Doctor Peacock: Ash.

[patient wailing]

Ash.

[sighing, sniffing]

Oh, God! Somebody light a candle.

Smells like death in here.

What are you doing in my room?

[gasps]

Oh. Oh, nothing.

Don't worry about it.

I'm just-I'm just in your imagination.

Are you a ghost?

[whispering] Kelly?

Oh, you're here to help me!

Sweet!

[Kelly grunting]

Ooh, you don't smell so sweet, but you know, that's nothing 10 or 12 showers can't fix.

[speaking softly] I know who you are.

m*rder*r. m*rder*r!

Shh! Shh!

m*rder*r!

[speaking softly] Inside voice.

Right. Let me ask you a question.

How long have I been here?

[sniffs] You've been here forever.

[chuckling] Oh, no.

No. That's not possible.

At least I don't think it's possible.

Well, how would you know anyway?

Because I'm very good at keeping count.

It's what I do. [chuckles]

See.

I've been here for six years, three months, and five days.

Let me show you how I count.

What's that?

[bones cracking]

[gasping]

One!

Ooh, no!

That's so not necessary!

Oh, Kelly! Stop doing that.

Two!

[grunts] Three!

You're going to run out of fingers.

[yells, laughing maniacally]

Somebody get me out of here!

[Kelly giggling]

[Ash grunting]

[eerie music playing]

Pablo! Oh, thank God you're here!

Ash: You got to get me out of here.

Baal put the whammy on Kelly.

Now she's crazy as a mad cow.

Shut your trap, Slashy!

On the ground, hands behind your back, now!

What? Why?

You know the drill.

Oh, watch the hair!

Pablo, what are you doing?!

[maniacal laughter continues]

You can't escape, Ash.

You must face your delusions.

Yeah, I'm facing my delusions, because they're real, assh*le!

Oh, I'll show you real.

[Taser g*n zapping]

[electrodes zapping]

[Ash groaning]

Oh, whoo!

[laughing] That's like doing whippets!

Can we go again, Doc?

It saddens me that your treatment is failing.

After all these years of passivity, you've become too violent.

We need to break this delusion Ash, for good.

[machine turning on]

For everyone's safety.

We need to destroy this "Book" that you're obsessed with.

You're not going to break me, Poindexter.

You can go ahead and pull that trigger again.

I double dog dare you!

[electrodes zapping]

Doctor Peacock: You're not the Jefe, Ash.

You're not the savior of humanity.

Doctor Peacock's voice: k*ll the book, Ash.

k*ll the book.

[zapping continues]

[machine whirring]

You will be my henchman.

You, my slaughterman.

[machine turns off]

[gasping]

Did you say something?

Do you have a beer? Huh?

Chet!

You're alive!

Wait a second, Chet.

You can't be here.

Cheryl ripped your heart out.

Amen to that, brother.

[machine turning on]

I d*ed 30 years ago when you k*lled her.

But...

[electrodes zapping]

Chet!

Fight it, man!

Fight it! Don't give in!

[electrodes zapping repeatedly]

[machine whirring]

[Ash groaning]

[machine turns off]

[heavy breathing]

Doc, that was a-a little on the spicy side, even for me.

Oh... how you doing, buddy?

[sizzling]

Chet.

Oh.

Oh, they k*lled you again.

[machine turning on]

That is so not cool!

[electrodes zapping]

[grunting]

[evil laughter echoing]

[television playing]

...was a matter more of principal products.

Principal products?

Oh, you know, like uh, principal products...

[eerie music playing]

[voices echoing]

Get to these early.

[woman mumbling]

Voice [whispers]: k*ll the book.

k*ll the book.

[indistinct chatter]

k*ll the book.

Dr. Peacock's voice: You're not the Jefe, Ash.

[indistinct whispering continues]

You're not the savior of humanity.

[voice echoing] k*ll the book, Ash.

k*ll the book.

[wheels squeaking]

Finally, you're back.

What took so long?

Listen, I know what's happening around here.

And I obviously had my doubts about you following the Baal plan without me, but you know, I'm willing to be proven wrong, this once.

Stop talking to me, I'm working here.

[girl snorts, gulps]

Oh, I like it, you're staying in character.

Hey, after we get out, how about some role playing?

Maybe Nurse Ratched needs a little injection from Doctor Groovy, what do you say?

Get your dope glazed eyes off of me, and back on that TV, you murdering pervert.

Wow. Okay.

Yeah, uh, I'll just wait for your signal.

[chuckling]

Whoa!

Jesus!

You almost scared me.

Ash, they locked us up because we know the truth!

And they're taking us out, one by one.

All right.

I know what to do.

Follow my lead.

[Ash yelling]

[gasping]

[piano playing off-key]

[laughing maniacally]

[laughing]

[screaming]

Okay, you crazies, express yourselves!

[all screaming, laughing]

[grunting]

[Ash yelling]

[all grunting]

[grunts]

[laughing maniacally]

Put it-put it down!

[grunting continues]

Stop!

[gasps]

Ash: Pablo.

[Pablo grunting]

[groaning]

[eerie music playing]

[yelling, grunting]

Son of a, son of a, no.

Don't you hit me anymore.

Don't do it...

Wakey-wakey, hands off your snaky!

Oh, I'm-I'm not.

I just...

[gasps] Ash!

You're going to get us in big trouble.

What are you doing?

[grunts]

I'm busting out of here, that's what I'm doing.

Now listen, you mind your P's and Q's, and I'll see to it that you're taken care of.

Keep talking.

Uh, how about a Lil' Lori Doll you can put your puppet privates into, huh?

I like where your head's at.

Almost as much as I like where your nub's at.

Hoo.

That's disgusting, but you know I can't be mad, because that's exactly what I would of said!

[hysterical laughter]

[laughter echoing]

Huh?

[whispering] Yeah, hey-oh.

Uh-huh. Oh.

[electricity buzzing]

[humming]

[door unlocking]

What the Fraggle Rock is that thing?

It's a long story. Come on, we got to split.

You're not even going to introduce us?

Come on, throw a dog a bone.

I mean, look at her. She's filthy.

And fine. Yeah, I know.

[whispering] What? What's fine?

That tiny behind, sister.

Hey, shut up!

You shut the f*ck up!

[murmurs] Oh, yeah.

Hey!

Focus up.

[suspenseful music playing]

[whispering] Okay, I'll distract him.

You get the door. Okay?

[pill tapping]

Somebody there?

[pill tapping]

[Taser g*n zaps]

Who's there?

[suspenseful music playing]

[beeping]

Kelly: Let's go! What's taking so long?

Stupid thing is busted!

[alarm sounding]

Oh dip, people are definitely gonna to hear that.

[Ash grunting]

I gotta get out!

[Kelly grunting, thudding]

[suspenseful music playing]

[grunts]

[shuddering]

Kelly, what the hell did you do?!

He was a demon.

I had to k*ll him before he k*lled us!

He's not a demon.

That's Pablo!

He was my friend! He was your friend too!

His name wasn't Pablo.

It was Reg.

Just like my name isn't Kelly, it's Amanda, you whack job!

Wait a second.

This isn't right. Who's Reg?!

Reg was a demon.

A dragon demon.

So I had to slay him, just like we talked about, remember?

No!

No!

There's no dragons in the Necronomicon!

There's a Kandarian Demon that flies around, and makes-makes Deadites!

Okay, right. So what?

They-they can't survive in sunlight?

Those are vampires!

Don't you mean Bloodites?

Well wait, there was that one time, that the sunlight did work.

Oh, listen to yourself!

You're f*cking nuts!

Look who's talking to who!

You thought Pablo was a dragon!

His name was Reg!

[grunting, wailing]

Stop it.

Stop it, looney toons.

Reg! Reg!

What the hell?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

[suspenseful music playing]

No.

[gasping]

It wasn't me.

I didn't do this!

[growling] Yes you did.

[skin splatters]

You're a m*rder*r.

No!

No!

No, no!

[Taser g*ns zapping]

No! [screaming]

[screaming on television]

[banging, splattering on television]

[eerie music playing]

[static crackling]

Doctor Peacock: I'm truly sorry to make you watch this, Ash.

I simply can't find any other way, to impress upon you how increasingly violent, and unstable your behavior has become.

That's not me.

I'm afraid it is, Ash.

[Ash grunting]

[Amanda screaming]

As I'm afraid I've failed you.

Transferring you to another facility.

One that's better equipped to deal with patients like you.

I'm sorry to say that their treatment methods are... less progressive than mine.

Barbaric, even.

That's not me.

[Doctor Peacock sighing]

Very well.

I've arranged a visitor for you.

A farewell.

[grunting on television continues]

Linda: Ash?

Oh, my God.

What've they done to you?

[soft music playing]

It's me. Linda.

You're not real.

You're in my imagination.

You're still here?

Yes, it's me.

Linda, Ash.

Linda B.

I've been visiting you here for the last, 30 years.

30 years.

[sighing]

I think I'm losing my mind.

Oh.

[grunts]

[dramatic music playing]

[brakes squeal]

I'm sorry, Linda.

I have to go away for a long time.

I don't think I'll ever see you again.

Why, Ash?

Because now I understand.

[screaming, banging on TV]

That's me.

[Linda sniffling]

[door opening, footsteps approaching]

You ready to go, Ash?

Ash?

I did it.

What's that, Ash? What'd you do?

I did it all.

I m*rder*d my friends at that cabin.

I m*rder*d my sister, Cheryl... the patient, the orderly.

I did it all.

That's good, Ash.

Very good.

You know what you have to do now though, don't you?

No. I don't.

You need to listen to me.

I will.

Shh...

[whispering] No more talking.

You're mine now.

First you have to destroy this delusion.

You must destroy the Necronomicon. Can you do that, Ash?

Yes.

Say it.

I must destroy the Book.

Again!

I must destroy the Necronomicon!

Go ahead, Ash.

[chains clinking]

Do it.

[growling]

Pablo's voice: Jefe?

♪ Pull the string, and I'll wink at you ♪
♪ I'm your puppet ♪
♪ I'll do funny things ♪
♪ If you want me to ♪
♪ I'm your puppet ♪
♪ I'm yours ♪
♪ To have, and to hold ♪
♪ Darling, you've got full control ♪
♪ Of your puppet ♪
♪ Pull another string ♪
♪ And I'll kiss your lips ♪
♪ I'm your puppet ♪
♪ Love you, and kiss you ♪
♪ And I'll ♪
♪ Pick you up, and... ♪
♪ Oh... ♪