02x01 - The Sinister Hotel Room Mystery

[bunniefuu]

[JULIA]

Last season, on "Sneaky Pete" [PETE]

There was a tire swing.

That's what I remember the most.

Every summer, Grandpa would fix it.

Pete, would you shut the hell up?

Three years in here.

I feel like I've spent every moment of that listening to this crap.

[GRUNTS]

- [GRUNTS]

- You're a con man.

You, what, you tried to rob a g*n range at g*n point?

I get out of here in two days.

You're not even up for parole for another two years.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hi, Grandma, Grandpa.

It's me, Pete.

I called the whole family over, all your cousins.

[MARIUS]

Great.

[SHANNON]

Taylor, I love you.

You should be with me.

I should've said it on the day he proposed, but I am saying it now.

I want my money, Otto.

Oh, m*therf*cker.

[YELLS]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

I'm here to talk about this one.

He's no use to you.

But he's still the father of my son, so I need him alive.

So talk.

What are you doing?

Maybe there's still time to un-ring that bell.

I don't need the money.

I need someone to launder it.

[MARIUS]

I need you to tail somebody for me.

If we do this, you teach us some sh*t.

You wanna learn something?

Okay, fine, first lesson, lose the boyfriend, then we'll talk.

So, what's going on?

I need to find someone who paints houses.

And all I need to know is who you want gone.

You're looking at him.

[DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE]

Everybody get on the f*cking ground!

[DOOR CREAKS]

[GRUNTING]

No!

[SHOTGUN CLICKS]

There's a cop here looking for Pete, a New York cop named Winslow.

Listen to me, Carly, I want you to tell him that you do not consent to a search of your residence.

[ENGINE RUMBLES, REVS]

[CAR CRASHES]

Audrey!

I'm in trouble.

- You have to get out of here!

- Grandma, just - You can't be a part of this!

- [MUMBLES]

Get out of here!

- [GROANS]

- I already am.

- [GRUNTS]

- Oh!

[g*nshots]

[MUFFLED YELL, GASPS]

- Hey, Pete.

- Do I know you guys?

No.

Gina.

We want you to take us to your mother and the $11 million.

[MUSIC BUILDS]

- Where's your mother, Pete?

- I don't know.

You don't know?

The f*ck kinda stupid answer is "you don't know"?

What's to keep us from snapping your string right now?

Because I know how to find her, and you don't.

Huh, let's go then.

[CHARLIE DARWIN'S "THE LOW ANTHEM" PLAYING]

[WOMAN]

Set the sails I feel the winds a'stirring [MARIUS]

How did you, uh How did we, uh, what?

[MARIUS]

How [STAMMERS]

How'd you, uh, figure it out, my mother and me?

[CHUCKLES]

None of the guys our employer hired before us bothered to ask what else happened at Mount Vernon the day the $11 million were stolen.

They never figured out some f*cking idiot robbed the g*n range.

By the way, do you get that a lot, people asking what kinda f*cking idiot robs a g*n range?

- Every day.

- Now, where we got smart was wondering, "What if you're not an idiot?" First dot we connected was a security guard.

We could put him at the g*n range right before you made your entrance.

Ten minutes later, he's back at work, dying in the sh**t.

[JOE]

You were trying to hold him there, huh?

Keep him from getting back?

It's too bad it didn't work.

I mean, you went to jail for f*ckin' nothing.

How'd you know that I was out?

Oh, we had a guy, built a bot, looks for anything to do with you or your mother.

Last week, he sees your name pop up on an airline ticket.

Okay, two tickets for the 5:20 to Fort Lauderdale.

You wanna go to Buffalo or Fort Lauderdale?

Do we only get to go if we have good reasons for wanting to go?

[FRANK]

You didn't board the flight.

No, I had to buy a ticket to get through security.

We were tracing a skip, my, uh my cousin and me.

Pretty blonde?

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

[DOGS BARKING]

Where you going now?

I'm, uh, going to New York.

It's the terms of my parole.

I'm not supposed to be in Connecticut.

Just had to see the family, huh?

[JOE]

We'll be watching them.

You try warning them, we see them go into hiding But you won't do that, 'cause you're gonna be too busy trying to find your mom.

You got 72 hours before we start clipping their wires.

That pretty blonde girl goes first.

[MAN SPEAKING OVER INTERCOM]

You should run.

[MARIUS]

It's $11 million.

And what happens when the FBI picks you up for what played out in Vince's poker room?

They're not even looking for me.

Their agent was sh*t.

Money is missing.

- They're looking for you.

- Well, but they They can't prove anything, Marjorie.

Come on.

[MARJORIE]

That's not what I mean.

If these two g*ons see you getting scooped up by the FBI, and they find out that you're not Pete, what's to stop them from k*lling you?

[MARIUS]

Well, I'll think of something.

Marjorie, we're talking about $11 million.

[SIGHS]

All right.

How do you propose on finding it?

You don't have much to go on.

I know that ten minutes after Pete robbed the g*n range, there was a big sh**t that left the security guard dead.

There's gotta be something online about that.

And then, I got their license plate number.

You know, I just don't have a computer, so Marius, I'm retired.

I just need you to do a little bit of research.

Then I will expect a lot of money.

Okay, okay, I'll give you 5% of whatever I get.

Mm, I wish I didn't answer this phone.

All right.

I assume there was a thr*at to go along with all of this?

Yeah, they said they were gonna k*ll the whole family, - starting with Julia.

- [MARJORIE]

Oh, that's great.

[PHONE RINGS]

Bernhardt Bail Bonds.

[MAN]

Audrey?

Uh, no, this is Julia.

May I help you?

[MAN]

Little Blondie?

Uh [MAN]

sh*t.

You don't remember me?

This is Luis, Luis Mercado.

Of course I remember you.

[LUIS]

Little Blondie, answering the phones and sh*t.

- Hey, is Otto around?

- Not right now.

[LUIS]

Okay, well, have him hit me back.

Can I ask what this is about?

[MAN]

Uh, just have him call.

Hey, I bet you don't still wear your hair in pigtails.

[CHUCKLES]

Not so much.

[LUIS CACKLES]

[DOOR OPENS, BELLS JINGLE]

I'm starting to think you're just making excuses to see me.

[CHUCKLES]

I was running the numbers, and I thought you should hear this in person.

Mm, sounds like I'm gonna be disappointed.

In order to launder your $150,000, I'm gonna have to write fake bonds for fake people, and then put their fake deposits, your cash, in the bank.

That should take three to four months.

If you need it faster, you could take it to Mohegan, turn it into poker chips.

Let me guess, you Googled "How to launder money," and the plot of that movie with Captain Kirk came up.

You see it?

It's good.

[COMPUTER CLICKS]

Anyway, what they don't say in the film is that the casinos now have RFID in the chips to show that they've been gambled.

You wanna give the money back, huh?

Don't forget why you're in this situation.

You offered a service to get the father of your son out of an early grave.

You withdraw that service, what's to keep something from happening to him, or God forbid, someone you actually care about?

Three months is too long.

I need the money back by next week.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[MOANING]

[SLOW, SMOOTH ROCK MUSIC]

[SHANNON]

You got me where I needed to go, but your heart didn't seem in it.

Oh, sh*t.

I hope you don't give me a bad review on Yelp.

[CHUCKLES]

You wanted to talk about something?

Why do you think Sean's been going to Hartford so much?

I haven't cared about Hartford since the Whalers left.

[CHUCKLES]

He's been lobbying to have Connecticut do bail bonds like Kentucky, where the state runs it.

That would put him out of business.

Not if he gets a contract to run it.

That would put Grandpa and Grandma out of business.

But you would have a sh*t ton of money to help them in their retirement.

I wait for Sean's deal to go through, and then I divorce him, get half of everything, and you and I get married on a beach in Hawaii.

You don't seemed thrilled.

[SIGHS]

Look, I I like money as much as the next guy, but I wanna be with you now.

You just gotta be patient.

[MAN SPEAKING ON TV]

this romantic journey with Brad in Costa Ri [TV TURNS OFF]

Thing one and thing two?

Asleep.

[EXHALES]

Like your new purse.

Oh, found it in the car.

Ellen won't use it anymore, says pink is for babies.

Has to be the purple, or she throws a sh*t fit.

Hey, um can you stay the night, take care of the squids in the morning?

Mr. Ambien is dangling a good night sleep.

Sure.

But I'm keeping track of what you owe me.

Of course you are.

[SIGHS]

Hey, did Pete say where he was going when he left?

No.

Why?

I need to talk to him about something.

[JULIA]

Night.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

[WOMAN SPEAKING ON TV]

[PHONE JINGLING]

[SNORTY GASP]

[JINGLING CONTINUES]

Hey.

[MARJORIE]

Car belongs to a leasing company in Queens.

To get who leased it would require tools and skills I do not have.

What about what about his mom?

[MARJORIE]

The last I find any mention of Maggie Murphy is three years ago in New Orleans.

- And the, uh the sh**t?

- [ENGINE GRINDING]

[MARJORIE]

Ten minutes after Pete walked into a g*n range, there was a sh**t at a nearby storage facility that left three dead.

Two guards, and - And a security guard.

- Yes.

And before he shuffled off this mortal coil, the guard said two people got away, one of whom was a white woman in her 50s, and having recently played Pete's mom, I know that description fits.

So $11 million was stolen from a storage facility?

[MARJORIE]

No, at least not officially.

In none of the reports is there any mention of $11 million or anything else being stolen.

What does that tell you?

Well, it was stolen from a criminal.

[MARJORIE]

That's right.

And any criminal with $11 million isn't just any criminal.

It could be some hedge fund guy.

I mean, uh, you know [MARJORIE]

With g*ons who thr*aten to k*ll a family?

Marius, before you go looking for Pete's mom or the money, I'd say your first order of business is to find out who the f*ck you're dealing with.

[THE BRIGHT LIGHT SOCIAL HOUR'S "HARDER OUT HERE" PLAYING]

[MAN]

It's getting harder out here I keep trying to just make my way It's not lying I'm only trying Just trust in me [ALL]

Trust in me Just trust in me [ALL]

Trust in me Just trust in me [LAIDBACK REGGAE MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[DOGS WHIMPERING, PANTING]

[MAN]

Let it be and let it be free [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Let it be and let it be free You're quite the creature of habit.

- [SIGHS]

f*ck me.

- You gotta think about changing up your hunting grounds, buddy.

Yeah, I don't need any of your lessons, assh*le.

What do you want?

Open the door.

I'm looking for Gina.

You and Gina can go f*ck yourselves!

Hey, in ten seconds, I'm gonna call for the police, and I'm gonna tell 'em I found the guy who took my wallet.

I don't have your wallet!

That's your wallet, assh*le.

Where is she?

Grandma, I strongly suggest that you don't do this.

Father Lebec is a man of God.

He is a man.

He could let it slip.

I'll only tell him what he can hear.

- I won't - Please.

Please, Grandma.

Please, I'm I'm begging you, okay?

Not now.

Just give it a week.

Let this blow over.

It's gonna blow over in a week?

A cop was k*lled.

Yeah, well, Fairfield's got the case.

They're not idiots, but they're idiot adjacent.

Grandma?

- Tell me you will hold off.

- Okay.

Okay.

Now, I gotta go, all right?

Where's Carly?

She need a ride?

- Uh, she stayed at Julia's.

- Okay.

- Grandma - Yeah.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You're gonna do what he said?

That's what confession was made for, so we could be absolved of our sins.

You didn't do anything that needs absolving.

It was an accident.

There's a long list of bad decisions that put me in a car with a g*n.

I gotta run errands and stop at the shop.

How are you gonna handle all this?

Just drink and stare off into the distance?

That worked before.

Took you ten years to surface when you came home from Vietnam.

You don't have ten years.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[GASPS SLOWLY]

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER INTERCOM]

[PHONE JINGLING]

[PHONE BEEPS]

- You're awake.

- Barely.

Hey, uh, I see Ellen's backpack on the counter.

Yeah, so apparently someone left her lunch in there all weekend, and it smelled like a toxic waste, um, so I bought her a sandwich on the way to school.

Did you take her old pink backpack?

[CARLY]

Yeah, she did.

No fuss.

See, I get away with stuff, because I am cool Aunt Carly.

Did you look inside?

[CARLY]

We just grabbed it and ran.

Why?

Oh I just left some, uh, office papers in there.

I'll get 'em later.

Yeah, I was wondering.

It was kinda heavy.

[CARLY]

Aren't there rules about how heavy a kid's backpack should be?

Yeah, probably also rules about not sending kids down the coal mines.

Killjoys.

[JULIA]

Thanks for staying and wrangling.

Yeah, my pleasure.

I like take [LINE BEEPING]

[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]

- Where did he find you?

- The park.

I told you to mix it up.

We should get going before he shows.

[SEATBELT CLICKS]

- [GRUNTS]

Gavin - Sorry.

- Op open the door, Gavin!

- It's okay.

Calm down.

Okay, I know you set me up with those guys.

What you did was part of the game.

How much did they pay you?

$500?

More?

One large.

Well, what if I pay you two the same to figure out what hotel they're staying at?

- How do we - You figure it out.

Here.

Here's their license plate number, and I'll give you the rest when you find them.

Go ahead, take it.

Adios, amigos!

assh*le.

- I'm the assh*le?

- Yeah.

You dumped me.

It's good to see you.

Just drive.

[ENGINE IGNITES, REVS]

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER INTERCOM]

I'm undercover security.

I'm recording this conversation.

I need to hear you say you agree to come with me.

I don't agree to come with you.

Then I call the cops.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[DYNAMIC ROCK MUSIC]

Ellen took the wrong backpack this morning.

[CHUCKLES]

Thanks.

I'll get it to her.

I better take the one she came with.

You can get them both, end of day.

I left her lunch leftovers in it, and if anybody accidentally opens that sucker, there is gonna be an airborne toxic event.

Uh, you know, you should really clean out a backpack every night.

You're right.

- I'm sure you're really busy.

- I am.

Probably why you had the Au pair drop Ellen off this morning?

- The Au pair?

- Mm.

That was my sister, Carly.

She went to this school for a year, back when she was Ellen's age.

I remember it, because that was the year our parents were k*lled by a drunk driver out on Redding Road.

[MOUTHS WORD]

It's pink.

Sorry, Mom.

Sorry, Dad.

- Here you go.

- [MOUTHS WORDS]

Son Wrong pink backpack.

You sure?

It's the only one I saw.

I'm sure.

Oh, wait, uh, Shelley wasn't feeling well this morning, and her mom picked her up, and I think she has a pink backpack too?

Shelley Birse?

No, Shelly Martin.

Who's Shelley Birse?

I must've heard it wrong when Ellen said her name.

Her mom is Sarah?

- Gayle.

- Wow, I really got it wrong.

- You want me to call - No, I got it, thanks.

I really should be the one to get it back I need an address.

[TAYLOR]

See, this is why they invented the Internet, so that you could search for this stuff yourself, and not have your cop brother do it for you.

- Gayle Martin.

- She better not be a skip.

She's a mother of one of Ellen's classmates.

We're class moms for the aquarium trip.

[STAMMERS]

Why can't the school office look her up for you?

Please don't make me lie anymore.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I shouldn't feel guilty.

The guy was a hit man.

That's the life he chose.

He had to know something could always go sideways.

What?

You don't feel guilty.

You feel embarrassed.

You are wallowing in self-pity, and you know it.

"Oh, poor me.

Nobody loves me.

Nobody needs me.

I'd be better off dead.

" f*ck you.

Kiss my ass.

Tell me I'm wrong.

I don't know what I was thinking asking you over.

You hit on my wife.

I should punch you in the nose.

Do it.

It'd be better than you sitting around, feeling sorry for yourself.

- f*ck you.

- You already said that.

All that day, I was I just couldn't help thinking, this is the last time I see my wife see this house.

It was so nobly tragic, it was like an Irish play.

"It's the last time I pick my nose.

It's the last time I scratch me balls.

" [BOTH LAUGH]

[BELL DINGING]

I'd be more comfortable the old way.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, the new confessional will be ready in a month.

You know, a lot of people prefer it this way, just sitting and talking.

[CHUCKLES]

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

- I saw you.

- Did you?

Oh, sh*t.

There was that other girl.

You were just the distraction.

That's also how we got JFK.

Can I go now?

[MAN]

She's got the devil on her shoulder And the other's getting colder She looks so good but it's not nearly Feeling like it's supposed to Going sold Going sold Going gone [ROYAL BLOOD'S "HOOK, LINE & SINKER" PLAYING]

Say my name again Tell me you're caught in the middle You're caught in the middle And you're begging for me to stay 'Cause every now and then My loves calls like a whistle It calls like a whistle And it's blowing your mind again - Marius?

- Hey, buddy, how's it going?

I'm in prison.

How the f*ck do you think it's going?

Yeah, and here I thought you Buddhists were all Zen and sh*t.

[LAUGHS]

Go to Burma, see how Zen and sh*t those guys are.

What do you want?

Yeah, I need I need a private conversation with my old cellie, Pete Murphy.

Is your fee still $50 in your commissary?

- [TENZIN]

Not for you.

- Really?

[TENZIN]

For you, it's $500.

- Why?

- You cheated at cards.

[MARIUS]

The hell I did.

The thing with the ace?

That was a trick.

I bet you a pack of ramen.

[TENZIN]

Maybe you could show me a trick.

You wanna learn a card trick?

[TENZIN]

I have a visitation on Sunday.

It'd be cool to show my boy something.

Okay, yeah.

Get a deck of cards.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Wow, I thought you'd come by.

- Did the school call?

- The school?

No.

These kids, you know, they always have to have the same clothes, the same backpacks, the same Oh, this is my brother, Desmond.

You didn't say what your name was.

Okay, so now you cut the cards, which means I f*cking know what cutting a deck of cards means.

Okay, okay, so then then just do that, and then start turning them over.

And just keep turning them over, and you can say things like, "Is this your card?

Is this your card?" You know, when you know it isn't.

Why would I do that?

[MARIUS]

Just 'cause it's fun to get it wrong sometimes.

I don't wanna get it wrong.

I wanna impress my son.

Okay.

Right, of course.

So then just keep turning cards over, and when you get to whatever the bottom card was, before you cut the deck, then you'll know that the next card is gonna be the one that he picked.

Is this your card?

Yeah.

Don't just say yeah.

Act surprised, you assh*le.

[WILL]

Yeah, that's my card.

[TENZIN]

You suck.

Tenzin, your your son is gonna be surprised.

Yeah, you're damn right he'll be surprised.

This is some David Copperfield sh*t right here.

Yeah, just keep practicing, you know, you can try it out on people at dinner or whatever.

[TENZIN]

I will, man.

Thanks.

Yeah, you're welcome.

So you think you can get the, uh the phone to Pete today?

I will, as soon as you put $500 on my commissary.

$500?

What do you mean?

That's your price.

The trick was just so I didn't hang up.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[WHISPERS]

Son of a bitch.

[PHONE CLICKS, BEEPING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hey, where?

[GAVIN]

Don't you wanna know how?

Honestly, I really We called around saying, "We need to find our boss.

His job's on the line.

Here's the license plate.

" Brilliant.

So, where are they?

Hotel on Bank.

Room 1106.

Frank and Joe Hooper.

Are they there now?

[GAVIN]

No car in the lot.

Called the room twice.

Didn't get an answer.

Good.

So, get a keycard, and, uh, one of you wait in the parking lot.

The other, make sure the room is empty, and wait inside.

I'll see you there in 15 minutes.

How do we get a keycard?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Hello?

Finder's fee?

Thinking it's just more like a shakedown fee.

Call it what you want.

How much?

[GROANS]

Can't do that.

Des, let's just call the cops.

Good idea.

The money's not mine.

Is it okay if I at least call the person it belongs to?

- Call whoever you want.

- [SIGHS]

- Mind if I smoke?

- Yes, I mind.

There are children living in this house.

[SIGHS]

[PHONE RINGING]

[LIGHTER CLICKS, CIGARETTE SIZZLES]

Hey, it's Julia.

Where are you?

Because I got a big f*cking problem.

[LIGHT MUSIC]

- May I help you?

- I certainly hope so.

I left my key in the room.

- Your name, sir?

- Hooper, Frank Hooper.

- And your room number?

- 1106.

Very good, Mr.

Hooper.

Do you have some ID?

Uh, I do, and I left it in the room.

If you wanna come up with me, I can grab I don't give a f*ck why they call you Kid Charlemagne!

[GROANS LOUDLY]

Your patrons your patrons left you in the red, assh*le!

All your low-rent friends are dead.

You gotta clean that mess up, or we all end up in jail.

Not the test tubes, the scale.

You gotta get that sh*t out of there.

- Ma'am - Don't f*cking ma'am me.

"Is there gas in the car"?

Yes, there is gas in the car!

- Kid Charlemagne?

- Steely Dan song?

A guy that age, no way he'd know it.

- You see how well I worked him?

- Pretty slick.

It's good, you and me together again.

- Don't push it.

- I'm just saying.

I know what you're saying.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Gayle Martin?

- Yeah.

- Where is she?

- Excuse me, this is my house.

- Julia!

- Excuse me!

- Julia, are you okay?

- Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

- [GASPS]

- You're better than fine.

You're high as a f*cking kite.

I can see it in your eyes.

- Let me see your arms.

- Who are you?

Who am I?

Who the f*ck are you?

Is this your dealer?

Maybe I should ask to see his arms too.

The f*ck are you talking about?

You can see my arms!

- Tom Tom - What What part of undercover do you not understand?

- Huh?

- Uh Is that my money on the table right there?

I had it in Ellen's old backpack and there was a mix-up.

I swear to God, if you're lying to me, your precious little Ellen's gonna go straight to child protective services, and you're not gonna see her again until she ages out.

- No, please don't.

- Yeah.

No, she's not lying.

She's not lying.

- Yeah, yeah!

- Please don't.

Please don't.

- Who the f*ck are you?

- I'm her f*cking handler!

I'm her handler.

Listen, we popped her with a balloon up her assh*le at BDL, and if she wants to keep her kid, - she works for us.

- [SOBBING]

Stop it, stop.

Don't touch me.

Don't touch me.

Don't touch me.

- Oh, wait, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

- What?

Who's that?

Yeah, if you wanna keep your door intact, hit the mute button.

[PHONE BEEPING, RINGING]

Uh, yeah, that's a that's a no go on Geronimo.

I repeat, that's an N-G on G-mo.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, thank you.

f*cking S. W. A. T.

A day without a battering ram's - like a day without sunshine.

- You're D. E. A I think that's probably the worst question you could've asked me at this moment in your life.

Get up.

Get up.

Is that all of it?

- [SOBBING]

Yes.

- Get it.

- Excuse me.

- And take this directly to the target, if he doesn't blow your brains out, because you're late, or because, I don't know, it's Tuesday.

And if we're able to take him down, then maybe maybe I'm not gonna stuff your ass down the hole in Niantic.

- Go!

- You can't just walk out Jesus Christ.

Hey, listen.

Wait 48 hours.

You call this number.

Whoever answers the phone, you tell him Chino told you to call.

You give him your details, and Uncle Sam will send you $10,000 to get the front door fixed, okay?

The front door's fine.

They don't have to know that.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

You slapped me.

Yeah, well, they needed a little bit of a jolt.

[LAUGHING]

You rolled with it pretty good.

Is that the money for Dockery?

Uh, is it okay if I don't explain it right now?

As long as you don't tell the rest of the family that I'm still in Bridgeport.

Why are you still in Bridgeport?

Hey, you know that, uh, g*n you keep at the office?

Carry it.

- You think that they'll - I doubt it, but you never know.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH EARPHONES]

You sure you don't want one of these?

Yeah.

[GROANS]

What are you doing?

Mr. Orr's local news homework.

Oh, homework is this thing when you do schoolwork when you get home from school.

Never heard of it.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

[LIGHTER CLICKS, CIGARETTE SIZZLES]

- Hey, put that out.

- I'm blowing it out the window.

No, right now.

Okay?

[SCOFFS]

- Now drink it.

- Bite me.

[SIGHS]

What's going on with you?

You don't want any of the clothes I lifted at the mall.

You're this rabid anti-drug narc.

Yep, that's me.

Is it because of all the family sh*t?

The mysterious return of your long lost cousin?

The thing with that f*cked up cop?

I don't know, I just - I don't know.

- 'Kay.

Holy sh*t balls.

[LANEY]

What?

That's him.

That's the f*cked up cop that I pointed the shotgun at.

- He's dead.

- Yeah, I see that.

Who k*lled him?

[TENSE MUSIC]

You talked to Sam?

He knows me better than anybody, other than you.

He hit on me.

We have that in common.

He didn't get anywhere.

We have that in common too.

How'd it go with Father Lebec?

I know you better than anybody.

Well, it went just fine.

Told him everything.

He gave me three Hail Mary's and asked me to k*ll the Monsignor for him.

Huh.

I chickened out.

[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Didn't tell him a damn thing.

I know it was an accident and all, but I sh*t a man in the head k*lled him.

- Hey, you busy?

- Frantically.

Well, make sure we keep a space open in the lot.

- We getting a VIP?

- No, it's the death car of that NYPD detective who got popped in Brett Woods.

Fairfield's sending it over.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

[PHONE RINGING, BUZZING]

[PHONE BEEPS]

Bernhardt Bail Bonds.

[MOE]

It's Moe.

Oh, hey.

You seen that Caddy parked around the corner?

Uh-huh.

[MOE]

Belongs to the housepainter.

It's been sitting there a couple of days.

What the f*ck happened, Otto?

You really wanna know?

[MOE]

No, I don't.

And I just don't need this blowing back on me, my brother and all that.

Just move the f*cking car, okay?

You owe me.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Who was that?

Oh, it's just, um it's just Moe.

It's the end of the month.

He wants me to settle my tab.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[CAR BEEPING]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[g*nsh*t]

[TAYLOR]

He was a dirty cop.

Had a falling out with the guys paying him.

They drove him off the road, put two in his chest, one in his head, like the pros do.

[BO]

Hey, bright eyes Nice to know you respond to bright eyes.

I only called your name three times.

Where'd you go?

I was just I was just thinking about when he came in, the cop.

What was his name?

Oh, Winslow?

I can't tell you how many people come through that door I would never remember, but I remember him.

The eye maybe?

Why'd Fairfield send it over?

They gonna do more tests?

Nah, they're getting ready to wrap it up.

No witnesses.

Vic had a long list of dubious asterisks next to his name.

Looks like the usual dirt bag on dirt bag crime.

[CHUCKLES]

I know we're supposed to give a sh*t, brother in blue and all, but I don't think there's a lot of tears being shed.

[CHUCKLES]

Then why is it here?

Some lady detective from the NYPD is coming up, unofficially of course, to make sure us Connecticut yokels aren't as stupid as everyone thinks we are.

They say she's the best.

Highest closure rate in the city.

I'm sure she's gonna wanna talk to you too, since you're the only that saw the guy, so be sure to comb your hair, huh?

[TENSE MUSIC]

[INTENSE MUSIC]

Hey, it's me.

[GINA]

You're late.

Yeah, something came up with my cousin.

Where are you?

[GINA]

In the room.

[SIGHS]

[CAR WHOOSHES, CRASHES]

[BODY THUDS]

[ENGINE REVS, GLASS SHATTERS]

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch what?

Uh, I I came to get something out of the truck, and forgot my keys.

They're in your hand.

That just makes it worse.

I'm just happy to know I'm not the only one losing their mind.

Well, thank you, sweetheart.

That's very kind.

- [CHUCKLES]

- What are you doing?

I gotta go see Moe.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

[PHONE BEEPING]

Taylor, call me.

We may have a problem.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[PHONE JINGLING]

Pete, hi.

How you doing, buddy?

Thanks for calling.

Hey, Marius, how you doing, man?

[MARIUS]

Yeah, good.

I was a little surprised when Tenzin said you wanted to talk.

It must be important.

What's going on?

All that all that time that we were in together, you, you know, you talked about your grandparents and your cousin and the farm and all that, but you never once, uh, mentioned your mother.

Yeah, so?

[MARIUS]

Well, this is the weird part.

I got a call yesterday from a woman who says that she was your mother, and she was checking in to see how you were doing.

That wasn't my mother.

[MARIUS]

Are you sure?

Because Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure.

- My mother's dead.

- She's dead?

When did that happen?

What do you care?

Well, we're friends, man.

[PETE]

Three years ago.

She d*ed three years ago.

[LINE CLICKS]

[WHISPERING]

All right, all right.

Hey, how you doing?

Come on in, Pete.

You go ahead.

Come on.

On the bed.

- You're right here.

- [GRUNTS]

You know, Pete, I thought you had a clear understanding of what we expected from you, and you waste a day looking into us?

What do you wanna know?

We solve crimes for people who can't go to the police.

Guy who hired us tried others before, ex-Blackwater guys, but they didn't know sh*t about cracking a mystery.

They never found out about you or your mother.

I almost had her, six months ago in Sedona.

[PHONE BEEPING]

Saw her cross a busy street.

Don't know how I spooked her, but spook her I did.

Here.

Take a look at that.

It might answer any questions you still have about us.

Show Pete where you are.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Show time.

[FRANK]

Ring a bell?

Get in closer.

We told you what would happen if you f*cked around.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Just a sec.

Don't.

Please?

I know who you are.

You don't have to do this.

[MARIUS]

[QUIVERING]

You don't.

[FRANK]

Oh, but I think we do, Pete.

Please don't do this.

[PHONE RINGING]

Jesus.

[PHONE RINGING]

Pete?

Get your g*n and sh**t through the door.

[JULIA]

What?

Do it!

Do it [FRANK]

God damn it.

[MUMBLES]

sh*t.

[PHONE RINGING]

[g*n CLICKS]

He warned her.

She's got a Colt pointed at your heart.

Can I help you?

[JOE]

Sorry, wrong house.

What are you doing?

We're just gonna go back after dark, plug her through the window when her kids are home.

Then sh**t me now, 'cause if you don't, and you hurt her or anyone in that family, I will get a g*n, and I will f*cking eat it, and you will never find my mother or the money.

Now you know who I am.

[CHUCKLES]

Wow.

[DISTRESSED MUMBLING]

[FRANK]

Spread that out.

Why?

Spread that out.

What are you doing, man?

You, you, stand on it.

[GAVIN]

No, man.

Stand on it.

What are you doing, man?

This is bullshit.

You don't need to do this.

Look at him.

Listen [METALLIC SCRAPE]

Choose.

Choose?

What the f*ck does that mean?

[MARIUS]

Choose?

[FRANK]

Choose.

Or I will do them both.

- Me.

Just - Shut up!

You shut up!

- A hero?

- Listen f*cking love it when I get a hero.

Though, sometimes, just to prove a point, you have to do the other one.

- Stop Stop.

- No, no, no, no, no [GROANS, GASPING]

Or not.

[GASPS]

- [GROANS]

- [MUMBLES]

- No [GASPING]

- [MUTTERING]

Stop, stop, stop.

[REFRESHED GRUNT]

[SOBBING]

Now you know who we are.

Roll him up, sweetheart.

This is on you.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[GINA]

[GRUNTING]

You get squirrely, an anonymous call goes to a local tip line.

Bring your friend here to light, with your prints and your DNA.

Take the f*cking Kn*fe.

The rags Fill it in.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

We've gotten further than the muscle heads did before us, which gives us some leeway, but not an infinite amount.

We don't have to k*ll anybody to give 'em the worst f*cking day of their lives.

Remember that when you look at your family.

By my watch, you have 48 hours to locate your mother.

Get out.

[WHISPERS]

Gina [SOMBER MUSIC]

I'm so [PHONE BUZZING]

[PHONE BEEPS]

What the actual f*ck?

[MARIUS]

Look, I'm sorry about that.

You're sorry?

I almost sh*t someone through my door.

[MARIUS]

Yeah, I I was, uh I was actually watching your house What?

[MARIUS]

In case that Desmond guy came back.

And I, uh I didn't wanna tell you, because I, uh because, I I thought I was being paranoid, and then I saw somebody walk up, and I got freaked out, uh, so then I followed him Who was he, this guy I almost sh*t?

[MARIUS]

He was just some guy who was selling magazines.

Oh, for fu Why didn't you call me?

Uh, because my phone d*ed.

[JULIA]

Then you borrow a phone.

You steal a phone.

I was freaking the f*ck out.

I had the kids go to Gloria's.

I didn't know I didn't know if something happened to you.

Well, I'm fine, you're fine.

I overreacted.

I gotta go, okay?

Pete [MARIUS]

What?

Thanks for looking out for me, but never do anything like that again.

[SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Okay.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Marius That's seriously f*cked up.

I know.

You said you'd k*ll yourself if they harmed Julia?

I had to say something.

I spoke to Pete.

He said his mother's dead.

That is not good.

No, it is.

He's lying.

He said she d*ed three years ago, but the two assholes said that they saw her in Sedona six months ago.

But Pete could really think she's dead, so Either way, I gotta work him to find her.

On the phone?

You already tried that.

- I know.

- You can't go and see him.

- You switched your records.

- I know that too.

Well, how do you plan on working him?

Face to face.

- You wanna get him out?

- Well, I don't want to.

Even if it was possible, it would pose an existential thr*at to you, Marius.

If real Pete has any contact with his family, you're b*rned.

At best, you'll get popped for identity theft.

You'll go back to prison.

At worst, you get stabbed in the heart and rolled up in a shower curtain.

I don't see that we have any other choice.

When did this become we?

I thought I was doing some research.

Straight split, minus expenses.

That could be $5 million.

That's retire-on- a-beach-in-Bali money.

I don't like Bali.

So then retire to the Geordie shore.

Getting Pete out of prison would take weeks.

Do we have weeks?

- No, we have tomorrow.

- No.

[CHUCKLES]

Tomorrow?

Yeah.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

How do you feel about going to prison?

[MUSIC BUILDS]

[STEELY DAN'S "KID CHARLEMAGNE" PLAYING]

[MAN]

Now your patrons have all left you in the red Your low-rent friends are dead This life can be very strange All those Day-Glo freaks who used to paint the face They've joined the human race Some things will never change [ALL]

Son you were mistaken You are obsolete Look at all the white men on the street [ALL]

Get along [ALL]

Get along, Kid Charlemagne [ALL]

Get along, Kid Charlemagne [ALL]

Get along [ALL]

Get along, Kid Charlemagne [ALL]

Get along, Kid Charlemagne