16x20 - Sing It Again

[bunniefuu]

♪

MEREDITH: Since our hospital is a teaching program,

many of our patients allow their surgeries to be filmed.

_

- ♪ He is more real than myself ♪
- _

It's great as a teaching tool.

But if you screw up,

it ends up online for the whole world to see.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Your mistakes will be scrutinized,

analyzed, studied, written about...

Richard's plane should be landing soon. You should go.

- ...argued over...
- We have patients. You sure?

You came for a tour.
You ended up working overnight.

Hold up, fellas.

You deserve the break, man.
Go be there for your mom.

And Miranda.

I hear you. Let me finish with this burn.

...watched and re-watched.

♪

♪ Did he take me ♪

We all make mistakes.

We all have moments when we weren't the best surgeon

- Okay.
- or even the best person.

Carotid duplex. Echo.

CT to rule out stroke, tremors, intracranial hemorrhage.

Urinalysis to rule out UTI.

Did they run a tox screen?

Uh, and you ran a tox screen?

Clean.

Okay. Well, thank you.

Uh, we'll confirm when we've received them.

[SIGHS]
- Let's round up the troops.

We all have moments we'd rather not relive.

♪ My father's guarding me ♪

Hey, I just checked on the kids upstairs.

Is he here yet?

En route.

And I volunteered to take over Pierce's cases so that she can focus on Richard.

And I'm still catching up after the conference, so I'm supposed to be in three places now at once.

You know, I'm gonna rearrange the cake thing and see if my mom can take care of the kids tonight.

You need some sleep.

Cake thing? What cake thing?

You asked for the wedding planner to bring over a bunch of cakes for us to try?

Oh, right. God, I-I'm sorry.
I... It's just...

No, no, no. No. I get it. We all are.

Yeah. It's Richard.

See ya.

You think your body's reached maximum capacity, and then you just keep growing.

I'm a human tissue expander.

No. You're...

If you say glowing, we're done.

Any updates on Richard?

No.

But I've cleared my day to work him up.

Ow!

Oh. What happened?

You okay? Is the baby okay?
Should I page OB?

No, I'm fine. It was just a big kick.

We still have a couple weeks left.

You can't have a panic att*ck every time the baby kicks.

[CHUCKLES] Can't make any promises.

[LAUGHTER]

Your mom made these for you every day?

Why did you move out?

She also folded my underwear, threw away articles of clothing that didn't flatter my nice butt, and every time I tried to talk about a problem, she just shoved a plate of food at me.

Like I said, I don't get it.

Well, I can't go back.

You replaced me with Schmitt, didn't you?

He's gonna be your new best friend, and I'm gonna be with my kid all the time, covered in bodily fluids.

Sorry. Just, um... [CLEARS THROAT]

Due date's getting closer.

I'm starting to, uh, wrap my head around the fact that my life's over.

Well... you had a good run.

Yeah. I did.

We've got a -year-old male suffering from memory lapses, tremors, depression and mood swings, and erratic behavior.

Yes, I am talking about Richard Webber, but today, he is not the Richard Webber you know and love.

He is our number-one patient.

Two days ago, he suffered a public... episode at a medical conference.

Patient's history includes an appendectomy, a hip replacement, surgery for a brain tumor pressing on his optic nerve.

He was also electrocuted several years ago, which led to surgery for a pancreatic pseudocyst.

Jo did that surgery for the pseudocyst.

- Oh, sorry. Uh, Dr. Jo.
- Let's review what we have so far.

You're crashing with an attending. We get it.

This is a list of possible diagnoses.

Some, we have already ruled out.

This, we still need to.

Meredith.

Uh, we'll run all the labs.

We'll do the blood cultures, vitamin levels, check the thyroid function, and we'll check the urine for heavy metals.

- Mm-hmm.
- Prepare yourselves.

He's not himself.

We saw the video.

BAILEY: Unless you get called in for something emergent, this is your job today.

Yes?

Uh... hi, Dr. Bailey.

Hi. Tom Koracick, neuro.

I know we don't want to think it, but have we ruled out, uh, dementia?

MAGGIE: No, we have not.

Get a PET scan, throw in a beta-amyloid tracer, and look for Alzheimer's.

It's not Alzheimer's.

Everything is on the table.
Nothing is out of the question.

Let's get to work.

♪

Here he is. Dr. Lincoln, meet Vera and Herschel Katano.

I just did her ER intake, and we got imaging back.

Lisfranc injury with, uh, fractured first and second metatarsals.

LINK: Oh, nasty break. What happened?

Uh, we were in our home office, and I was standing on a chair reaching for this textbook, "The Elements of Statistics."

- We're professors at U-Dub.
- Mm-hmm.

It has one particularly useful section on game theory that I love.

The contents of the text are irrelevant, dear.

Oh, right.

Well, it's a hefty tome.

And as I was pulling it out, it slipped and landed on my wife's foot.

It's really broken?

It's really broken, but we'll fix it, and we'll put her toes back in place.

[CHUCKLES]

A book lands exactly wrong on her foot.

What are the chances?

Uh, certainly higher than getting struck by lightning, but less than getting in a car accident.

What are the chances of you letting these nice doctors do their job, hmm?

Hunt, you give me a hand in the OR?

Yep. I'll see you up there.

I'm supposed to make a presentation of a paper in a university in two days.

You still can. From the chair.

[CHUCKLES]

Can you stomp on his foot, hmm?

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

Look, I can get myself into a bed.

[SIGHS]

Sorry. Hey.

Where have you been? And what the hell are you wearing?

I was with Warren on the physician response team vehicle.

- Don't worry about it.
- You smell like a garbage fire.

Okay. Richard, how are you feeling?

How am I feeling?

Well, I was just wheeled into my own damn hospital like I was someone who's lost control of their faculties.

[SIGHS]
- We're gonna run a few more tests, okay?

No, that is not okay.

And stop treating me like I'm an infant.

Catherine was with me at the conference.

Will you tell them that they're being ridiculous?

Actually, Catherine...

Yes, sweetheart, I was there, and your speech was brilliant!

But you started feeling badly right after.

So, please, let us just take a few more tests, and then we can go home.

Promise.

Oh, all right.

But I'm only doing this for Cleopatra.

[LAUGHS]

♪

Add visual and auditory hallucinations to the list of symptoms.

Okay.

Hey. Tom, I wanted to...

Not get married to someone else?

I wanted to talk.

No, I got it, but sincerely, there's nothing to talk about.

I hope you and Strawberry Shortcake live happily ever af...

Tom, what is it?

♪

Tom.

It's been a long time.

Hi. I'm... I'm Dr. Teddy Altman.

Hi. I'm, uh, Dana Hamilton, formerly Koracick.

And this is my son, Guthrie.

Honey, say hi to Dr. Altman and Dr. Tom.

GUTHRIE: Nice to meet you.

My mom said you might be kind of freaked out because I look like my brother who d*ed before I was born.

- [CHUCKLES]
- And I would say sorry, but

I can't really change my face, so...

[CLEARS THROAT] God, you even sound a little bit like him.

Maybe you... Can you change your voice?

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

[HIGH-PITCHED] I can try.

[LAUGHS]

I know the resemblance to David is uncanny.

I'm sorry. I should have called.

But I didn't even know that you would pick up if you saw that it was me.

Um...

Guthrie has a brain tumor.

And apparently, it's spread to his spine.

And it's bad, Tom.

I wouldn't have come if it weren't.

I just wouldn't have come.

Yeah.

You know what, let's get you checked in, and then we'll take it from there.

Tom, do you want me to...?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mrs. Hamilton, will you follow me, please?

[HIGH-PITCHED] Nice to meet you, Dr. Tom.

♪

Guthrie Hamilton, years old, diagnosed with primary medulloblastoma in his brain that has spread to his spine at C .

Presents with sensory deficits and motor weakness in his extremities.

He was in his cooking class, and he just collapsed.

It was awful.

GUTHRIE: Pastry class, actually.

We were baking croissants.

I never got to try mine, but the teacher said they were pretty good.

If you were stranded on a desert island and you could only have one food, what would it be?

He asks everyone this.

Hummus.

No.

Brie.

What about you, Dr. Tom?

Um...

escargot.

A man of excellent taste.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Um... [CLEARS THROAT]

We should, uh... We should get him some new scans.

Let's... Let's... Let's get him up there right away.

Excuse me.

I already paged Shepherd.

I don't know what your ex-wife was thinking.

She was thinking I'm the best.

She was thinking I could never let this child die if there's a single thing I could do to stop it.

It's David, Teddy.

It's him. And it's not. And I'm...

[CHUCKLES]

Tom, I'm here. I'm staying close.

[SIGHS]

- Can you walk?
- [CLEARS THROAT] Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

♪

[EXHALES SHAKILY]

I'm late? Felt like I was walking fast.

Abdominal midline incision extending from the xiphoid

to just under the umbilicus.

What's that about?

Uh, he's going through the steps of a Whipple to prove to us that he has not lost his mind.

"Famous Surgeon Implodes at Medical Conference."

"Medical Meltdown of the Year."

It doesn't stop.

Catherine's on the phone with the foundation publicist to try to scrub it off of the Internet, which isn't really possible.

Inspect the peritoneum and the surface of the liver for metastasis.

"When you think you cured cancer but you really just got dumped."

[SCOFFS] I hate everyone.

I... Myself included.

I was so busy sexing it up with Winston

I didn't even realize what was happening.

And I should have.

He called me Meredith when he saw me.

Wait, what's a Winston?

I'll tell you later.

Hepatic flexure of the right colon

mobilized and reflected medially.

There.

Now, would I be able to tell you all that if I lost my mind?

The answer is no, I wouldn't.

Is he right? About the steps?

He is right.

You're doing great, Richard.
You're almost there.

[MONITOR BEEPS]

[SIGHS]

Okay.

No indication of Lewy body dementia or Pick's disease.

No increased signal to the temporoparietal lobes, so maybe not Alzheimer's.

But if it was in the early stages, we wouldn't see it.

It isn't Alzheimer's.

I've had a front-row seat to this disease.

This is not it.

♪

Are we done yet?

LINK: Drilling the K-wire.

- [DRILL WHIRRING]
- Any word on Webber?

Last I heard, just more tests.

Amelia was up all night watching that conference video over and over again, looking for clues.

Worried me.

Yeah. They've always been close.

I know, but stress and exhaustion can cause hormone levels to fluctuate, which can induce preterm labor, and, you know, suddenly, we've got a little dude

- who showed up to the party too early.
- [DRILL WHIRRING]

Well, Amelia's close to term, you know?

Baby's gonna be just fine.

You're nervous?

Name a worry, I've had it.

Will Amelia have an easy delivery?

Will we make it to the hospital on time?

Will the baby be scared of me?

[CHUCKLES] Scared of you?

Yeah, I mean, I've got big hands.

I don't know. What if that freaks the baby out?

I know what you're gonna say... that I'm just spinning out and soon as the baby gets here, I'll be fine.

Nope. I wasn't gonna say that.

- You weren't?
- No, because I like you.

So while everyone else is saying "Cherish this time," I'm gonna tell you the truth, okay?

Parenthood is scary as hell.

Your kid is in the safest place he's ever gonna be right now.

When he comes out, you're never gonna sleep again.

- Wire cutters.
- Thanks.

[WHISTLING]

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Hey. Hey, what's up?

Oh, we're swamped. I need you to jump in.

I need you to evaluate beds through for smoke inhalation and clear them.

But I've been helping with Dr. Webber.

Hey, Schmitt, no offense, but whatever's wrong with Webber won't be solved by a resident.

Oh. Uh, okay.

Why are you still standing here?!

All right. I'm going. I'm going.

Sorry.

Take him over to bed .

So, I-I-I'm sitting on this park bench the other day, right, and I look across, and I see this squirrel, and he's... he's hauling this giant slice of pizza, right?

Then he starts dragging it up the street.

I mean, the thing must have been twice his size.

- I don't even know how he was doing it.
- [LAUGHS]

[BAILEY CLEARS THROAT]

Oh. You finally here to let me go?

Um... waiting on blood cultures.

T-The ER's slammed, so the lab's backed up.

Dr. DeLuca?

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON P.A.]

Have I been in any way unclear

- about your suspension?
- [SIGHS]

Come on, Bailey. I can't visit a friend?

Webber's a mentor of mine.
We hang out socially.

I saw the news. I got worried.

Fine. But after visiting hours, you're gone.

Understood.

Hey, y-you need to add decreased appetite to his list of symptoms.

- DeLuca!
- Look, Dr. Riley says that we learn more from our patients in conversation

than traditional questioning, right?

So, she's out of the country right now, but she e-mailed me this list of topics to get him talking, a-a-and I think that it could open more avenues for... for research, and... and he could...

Visiting hours are almost over.

And forward me that list.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON P.A.]

Hey. You paged me?

I'm still pretty busy with the Richard thing, so...

We have a -year-old with a medulloblastoma and a drop met on his cervical spine.

And... Koracick needs me because...?

It's his ex-wife's son.

Apparently, the kid looks exactly like David.

David was...

No, I know. I-I knew David.

Oh, my God.

What are the chances Dana's gonna lose another -year-old?

Hopefully not.

Hopefully you can save him.

[WHISPERING] 'Cause Tom certainly can't.

[CLEARS THROAT]
The tumor is getting bigger.

It's encroaching on the brain stem.

Do they know?

I'll talk to them.

I will take it from here.

Okay.

Dr. Lincoln was able to reduce the toes back into their place.

The surgery went extremely well.

LINK: We'll leave the splint on, but no weight-bearing on this foot for weeks.

You understand?

Oh, thank you so much, doctors.

- Thank... Thank you.
- Sure.

Hear that, Vera?

I'm waiting on you for weeks.

days.

Hand and... foot, honey. [CHUCKLES]

Cup of tea, those samosas from the place you love.

[CHUCKLES] Ha! Whatever you need.

We'll check on you in a couple hours, okay?

♪ Excuse me, but why are all of you singing? ♪

♪ Weren't all of you singing just now? ♪

Uh, s-s-sweetie, uh...

no one's singing, besides you.

♪ What is happening? ♪

- Maybe we should...
- Yep. Paging neuro.

♪ Oh! ♪

♪

♪

You need to work harder.

Everyone's doing the best that they can, Mom.

Well, you look like a bunch of feckless interns.

Figure this out.

♪

It's happening again.

I'm gonna lose him, too.

I promise I will try to get the brain tumor and the spinal met in one surgery.

You are in great hands with Dr. Shepherd.

No offense, but we came here f-for Tom.

[SCOFFS]

Dana, I use all the same techniques as Tom.

I trained under him.

He taught me everything he knows.

[EXHALES SHAKILY]

I did not bring him here to hurt you.

I-I ran out of ideas.

I didn't know what else to do.

I can't...

I can't, Tom.

Tom, I can't go through this again.

I won't survive.

I won't survive.

I can't.

Uh, we're family. Or were.

And h... hospital policy, uh, forbids surgeons from operating on...

And my schedule is extremely hectic.

I'm being paged right now.

Shepherd is... she's excellent.

I've got Guthrie.
Why don't you stay with him?

Excuse me.

[HUMMING]

Did you give her some weird kind of pain meds or something?

Is she loopy?

♪ Herschel's voice goes up an octave higher ♪

♪ When he's anxious ♪

- [HUMMING]
- She had a general anesthesia and a post-op painkiller, but we don't usually see singing as a side effect.

Pupils are equal and reactive.

Usually?

Or... not ever.

VERA: ♪ I feel completely present ♪

♪ I just hear all this music in my head ♪

♪ It is remarkable ♪

Tom Koracick, neuro.

These doctors broke my wife.

Vera had surgery on her Lisfranc injury this morning.

She woke up alert but... singing.

- [HUMMING]
- Physical exam's normal. Labs normal.

Everything appears... normal.

KORACICK: Uh, let's order a brain MRI and an EEG.

Vera, we're gonna rule out an intra-operative stroke, but this could be something called "musicophilia."

What on Earth is that?

A spectrum of neurological phenomena related to music.

So, you've seen this before?

No. It's exceedingly rare.

How do you fix it?

You... Singing lessons.

Page me when she's in the scanner.

♪ Herschel ♪

♪ I wish you could be experiencing this ♪

I-I am, dear.

I am.

[HUMMING]

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON P.A.]

Nico just posted again on Instagram.

He's having the time of his life.

His smile doesn't even look fake.

It's like I never existed!

Are you really talking to me about this while we're in gridlock?

Well, I just assessed beds and .

Congratulations. We're still gridlocked.

Is that my fault?

It's not not your fault!

Schmitt, half the attendings are in a room right now working on Webber.

This is your moment to step up, to rise, to shine, to take care of incoming before you get run over by a gurney!

And if you look at your phone one more time, I'll give you so much scut, you'll wish you were never born!

[SIGHS]

[HUMMING]

Hey. So, Shepherd is taking Guthrie to pre-op.

Thank you.

[HUMMING CONTINUES]

[CLICK, HUMMING STOPS]

[SIGHS]

God, ever since David d*ed, I've had this thought...

What if I got to the hospital in time to operate?

Maybe... I could have saved him.

And now it's like... he's here, and I can't... I can't be in the same room without feeling like I'm... drowning.

That thought I've been holding on to... it's a lie.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I got to update my patient.

Okay, so, the first one is, we are going to repeat this pattern.

Mm...

Um... you know what?
Let's come back to that one.

Okay, sure.

So, let's draw this -D cube.

Mm-hmm.

Okay...

Okay.

Right here.

Well, why don't we just, uh, skip to this one here and draw a clock?

And we want the time to say past : .

Okay.

All right, this is... Okay. I got this.

Yeah. You got this, Richard.

- [GRUNTS]
- Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Great.

Mm-hmm.

[CLEARS THROAT]

♪

Okay, you know, we can take a break for right now.

We can come back to this.

Okay, well, hang on. I wasn't finished with it.

It's okay.

I'm sure you're tired, and it's been a lot.

♪

VERA: [HUMMING]

♪ I guess singing could help hold ♪

♪ Students' interest in empirical probabilities ♪

Honey, you're about to publish.

We're about to publish.

And you don't want people questioning your state of mind.

- [HUMMING]
- KORACICK: There's no signs of stroke or bleeding, and the EEG's negative for seizures.

Okay.

So, she's just like this now?

Which is good news, Herschel.

It's most likely a complication from being under anesthesia.

We're gonna keep her here overnight for monitoring purposes, but you should be able to take her home tomorrow.

Great.

Yeah. Great.

[HUMMING CONTINUES]

[SIGHS] Hey, any update on Richard?

Uh, n-no idea.

[DOOR OPENS]

I'm not here with an update.

It's just me.

I don't need you, Jackson.
Richard needs you.

Okay, Mom...

You're letting him down.
Do you know that?

He's given this hospital the best years of his life, and you all are the best minds in the field, and no one even noticed that he wasn't himself, that he was deteriorating?

In fairness to us, I think we thought that he was depressed because his wife both left him and bought the hospital that he was working at.

You don't think I've been dying inside already?

I'm sure you have, and I'm sorry, Mom, but us fighting isn't...

Do you think I haven't been kicking myself for the last hours, wondering what I would have noticed

if I could just have put aside my pride?

I should have been there.

I would have seen something.

I'm his wife.

I'm his wife.

I'm his wife.

So I can't be on his medical team, but you can.

So you get back in that w*r room and figure it out.

Now.

[SNIFFS] Okay.

[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

♪ Is somebody bringing me another pillow? ♪

The nurses went to get one, dear.

- [VOCALIZING]
- Hey. Coffee?

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

How you holding up?

Mm.

You know, about five years ago,

I spilled an iced tea all over my car's dashboard.

It fried something in the electrical system and caused my seatbelt alarm to constantly beep.

Even if the belt was buckled, "Beep, beep, beep."

[CHUCKLES]

I was trying to meet a book deadline, so I couldn't get it fixed, so for weeks... "Beep, beep, beep."

And...

[HUMMING]

...I learned to live with it.

It faded in the background, almost became comforting.

Will this ever fade?

Maybe. Yeah.

Or you could... grow to like it?

And I've read that it can help these patients if you give them an instrument to play.

Vera and I work at home because the library is too loud.

If an oboe or something like that comes into my life, I will have very dark thoughts.

Oh, um, please... don't tell her that I compared her voice to the broken seatbelt in our station wagon.

- [LAUGHING] No.
- [LAUGHS]

[HUMMING STOPS]

It stopped.

Oh, my God, it stopped.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[VERA WHEEZING, MONITOR ALARM BEEPING]

Vera! Are you okay?!

- What's happening?!
- She's hypoxic and tachycardic.

Uh, Herschel, we need you to wait outside.

B-B-But she was fine a second ago!

I-I-I'll update you as soon as we know anything.

[ALARM CONTINUES]

AMELIA: Now we identify the cerebellar tonsils.

TARYN: That's awesome.

We're not even at the hard part yet.

I still have to resect the tumor without injuring the brain stem.

Ow!

Are you okay?

Yep. Great.

I feel great.

Okay, inspecting the inferior vermis...

Holy Mother of... Ohh!

Helm, put down the retractor and go get Dr. Koracick.

- Ohh!
- But, uh...

Helm, I am in labor.

Run! [GROANS]

And page Atticus Lincoln!

[GROANING]

[MOANING]

What the hell happened?

I am having this baby, like, now!

Did your water break?

- Tom, not yet, but that doesn't mean...
- Okay, until it does, you have time.

You can finish. Just keep going.

Tom, do you hear yourself?!

I'm... I'm... I'm begging you, Shepherd.

Don't make me do this.

Tom, you saw the scans.

You and I are the best two in this hospital, maybe this country, to remove this tumor.

This kid deserves one of us. I can't do it.

So get in there and scrub!

Now!!

Congratulations, Dr. Shepherd.

[GROANING LOUDLY]

Richard clearly has some type of rapidly progressive dementia, and so far, none of our tests can point to a cause.

This could very well be...

Meredith, I'm not gonna not say it.

It could...

Richard?

Okay, let's split up.

- Uh, I'll look around here.
- MEREDITH: I'll take the OR floor.

I'll find Catherine.

Page when you find him.

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON P.A.]

AMELIA: Everything looks good.

There was some bleeding, but I packed it off.

Ohh!

The tumor's almost fully exposed.

Tom.

You can do this.

Ohh!

[MOANING]

Pickups.

Probe.

♪ Some folks are born made to wave the flag ♪

Continuing dissection.

♪ They're red, white, and blue ♪

♪

- [MONITOR ALARM BEEPING]
- End-Tidal CO decreasing.

BP just tanked.

He's crashing.

[ALARM CONTINUES]

Dr. Koracick?

♪ When the band plays... ♪

Dr. Koracick?
Do I need to page someone else?

[ECHOING] Do I need to get Dr. Shepherd in?

Or call in Nelson?

♪ They point the cannon at you ♪

- [CLICK]
- Tom.

Listen to the sound of my voice.

Breathe in.

Breathe out. Focus on the tools in your hand.

The feel of them, the weight of them.

There's a monitor beeping in front of you.

There is a patient on your table who needs your help.

This is a place that you have been a thousand times.

You can save him.

♪ It ain't me, no ♪

♪ I ain't no fortunate one ♪

Air embolism. Trendelenburg.

Let's get his head below his heart.

Helm, I want you to irrigate. Drown him in water.

Knox, give him % O , aspirate through the central line.

Now!

Before he strokes out. Come on.

[ALARM CONTINUES]

- Let's turn him. Let's turn him.
- [SOFTLY] Come on, come on, come on.

More, more. Easy. Easy.

Come on.

Turn him. Turn him.

Come on, buddy. You can do it.

[ALARM CONTINUES]

Here we go.

There!

Gotcha.

End-Tidal CO 's coming back.

- [ALARM STOPS]
- BP's rising.

[SIGHS]

TARYN: He's stabilizing.

That was amazing.

We're not out of the woods yet.

Let's get him back into position. Let's go.

♪ It ain't me ♪

Easy.

[PADDLES THUMP]

OWEN: Tension pneumo, maybe from intubation.

I'm gonna need a -gauge needle.

Okay?

LINK: All right, Vera. I know it's hard, but you need to try to relax, okay?

Thank you.

Vera, on the count of three,

I'm gonna insert this needle, okay?

One, two, three.

[GASPING]

Better?

Vera! Are you okay?!

I thought...

[GASPING CONTINUES]

I thought I was losing you.

♪ Ohh, much better ♪

♪ Thank you ♪

[CRYING] Vera, even if you're singing, I don't care.

I just want you to be okay.

[OFF-KEY] ♪ I love you ♪

♪ More than words can say ♪

♪ I love you, too ♪

[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, CHIMES]

You gonna get that?

I'm just enjoying the moment.

- Oh, God.
- What?

It's happening.

Ame... Amelia. It's... It's happening.

Go. Go, go, go. We got this.

Go!

[DOOR OPENS]

- Are you okay?
- Ohh!

Oh, God. Oh, God. What can I do?

Where's Carina?

She's on vacation with her stupid girlfriend!

- [GROANS]
- That's okay.

T-That's okay, right?

No, no! Nothing is okay!

This whole time, I've been thinking that if I could just give birth to a healthy baby boy, that... that... that I would have won some kind of race, just crossed the finish line, but that's not where the finish line is.

I know. There is no finish line.

No, there's no finish line!

Once this baby is out in the world, literally anything could happen to him... cancer, car crash, baseballs!

- Baseballs?
- Ahh, make me feel better!

Here.

N... ju... ju... ju...

- I-I'm freaking out!
- What are we gonna do?!

- I don't know!
- Stop yelling at me!

[MOANING]

[GROANS]

Aaaaaaaah!

RICHARD: Scalpel.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

You're late, Grey.

I was just about to proceed with the initial incision.

Richard.

You in or out?

♪

What's it gonna be?

Let's see...

♪

Uh, uh... what surgery are we performing?

Um, the ex-lap.

I'm glad to see you've come to your senses.

I could use the assist.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Okay, Richard.

Uh, we need to, um...

- Hmm?
- ... ch... check the, uh...the scalpel to make sure it's been sterilized properly.

Sterilized? Of course it's sterilized.

- Richard, please.
- No, no, no.

I... It needs to be me, okay?

I'm the only one who can fix what's wrong.

No, that is not true.

Yes, it is!

♪

Richard, I can fix you.

And I know I can fix you because you are the one who taught me everything I know.

And I'm not just talking about surgery.

You taught me how to be a better person, how to be a better mother.

And what about my children?

I want them to grow up and know who you are.

Please.

And I still have things I need to learn.

I need you. I'm not ready to let you go yet.

And I know other people aren't, either.

Hand me the scalpel, please.

♪

Ellis.

Something's... wrong with me.

Yes.

It's okay.

Take my hand, Richard.

Let's go, now. Come on.

♪

♪

We removed the primary tumor and the spinal metastasis, so he'll need some radiation of the brain and the spinal cord, but as of now, Guthrie is on the road to recovery.

[SOBBING]

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Yeah.

Hey, Doc, uh, I don't know how we're ever gonna be able to thank you.

Mm.

DANA: I thought you couldn't do it.

Still can't believe I... I did.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no. No.

And thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

And Guthrie's, uh...

It's a good name.

[CHUCKLES]

♪

[GROANS]

Oh. Another one? Is it bad?

Ohh, you know when guys get kicked in their... guys?

[SIGHS] How do you know what that feels like?

Everything goes black.
You want to throw up.

Your whole body goes cold all over because of the pain.

That's exactly what it feels like.

Hoo! This is worse.

We're gonna have a baby!

We're gonna have a baby!

Good news, Dr. Shepherd!

Based on the pelvic exam and cervical length on ultrasound, it looks like Braxton Hicks.

- Braxton Hicks?
- False labor.

When the uterus contracts and relaxes.

I know what Braxton Hicks are.

S-So, no baby?

Not today.

♪ We touch the fire ♪

[DOOR OPENS]

I really thought this was real.

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SIGHS] Same.

♪ And we don't get b*rned ♪

Suddenly, they hurt less.

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪ It takes us higher ♪

♪ And it's what we learn ♪

♪ And it's what we le-e-e-arn ♪

♪ It's everything that we cannot see ♪

♪ It's the mystery ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ It's going to be ♪

Thank you.

♪ It's going to be, it's going to be ♪

Tom, I'm...

♪ It's everything that we cannot see ♪

I'm so sorry.

'Cause you've had more than enough pain.

♪ Ohh, it's going to be, it's going to be ♪

You've taken away more than you've caused.

♪ It's going to be, it's going to be ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON TV]

JO: Hey!
- Hi.

What do you want to watch?

Uh, I'm going back to the hospital.

Oh, did they extend your shift?

[SIGHS] Uh, to sleep.

And I-I-I don't want to be a fish.

A [CHUCKLES] fish?

Levi, what are you talking about?

House guests and fish.

After three days, they both start to stink.

My mom taught me that.

Okay, your mom also taught you to hide the best parts of yourself.

Why would you ever listen to her?

Well, you keep telling me how great I had it at my mom's and spent the whole day yelling at me.

[ZIPPER CLOSES]

Yeah, because you weren't doing a good job.

I'm not gonna change the way that I work just because we're friends.

I know that I wasn't an attending when we met, but I am now, and that means I'm gonna snap at you when you get things wrong.

Otherwise, you're never gonna become the surgeon that you should be.

And you're not a fish.

You're probably the main reason that I'm at all sane right now.

So... what are we watching tonight?

Something with hot guys?

Ohh! Sold!

[COCO BANS' "PRAY" PLAYS]

Okay.

[INDISTINCT TALKING ON P.A.]

Hey. I'm gonna go get the kids.

I would sing with you if I had to.

[CHUCKLES] But I really can't sing.

[LAUGHS] What?

♪ Though you're still not around me ♪

Come on.

Come here.

Come on.

Come on.

♪ Oh, I went down on my knees to pray ♪

♪ I asked the Lord to accept you ♪

♪ Though you're still not around me ♪

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Screw the plans.

Huh? What?

Screw the plans.

♪ I'll keep moving ♪

I want to be married to you.

As soon as possible.

Mm.

♪ I'll get through this ♪

Let's do it.

Let's do it this weekend.

♪ Times get tough at times, I'll admit it ♪

♪ It looks like I'm drowning, like I'm sinking in it ♪

♪ But I won't let you down ♪

♪ I'm not giving up tonight ♪

- I love you, Teddy.
- I love you.

MEREDITH: There are certain moments in my life

that I wish I could relive...

first day of internship, first solo surgery,

first time I held my children in my arms.

Oh, oh, where am I?

MAGGIE: You're in the hospital, Richard.

What? Seattle Grace?

Grey Sloan.

Oh, well, um, um, send for the interns.

I-I want to start rounds right away.

Adele will k*ll me if I'm late for dinner again.

The last lucid conversation I had with my mother.

♪ You'd know how to make this go away ♪

Okay.

Mom.

Hey.

[VOICE BREAKING] I can't do this.

Yeah, you can.

We can.

All right? We're gonna fix him.

We're gonna figure it out. I'm right here with you.

- Jackie!
- I know.

But for every one of those...

- [SOBBING]
- I'm gonna fix him.

...there's one I wish I could forget or do differently.

♪ Tonight ♪

Those are the moments that keep me up at night.

♪ I'll admit it ♪

♪ It looks like I'm drowning, like I'm sinking in it ♪

♪ But I won't let you down ♪

♪ 'Cause you're here with me tonight ♪

Did Bailey tell you to come here, kick me out?

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

What have you thought of that we haven't?

What do you mean?

Are you going to pretend you're not in here trying to figure out what's wrong with Richard?

[SIGHS]

I'm just trying to go over some of these points

'cause just... it doesn't make sense.

It doesn't.

So, what do you have?

Because we're not leaving here until we figure this out.

Really?

Thought I was supposed to, uh, go home, get some rest.

♪ I won't let you down ♪

[SIGHS] Are you with me or not?

♪ Tonight ♪

Okay. This is what I got so far.

[SIGHS]

♪ Oh, I pray ♪

And no matter what I do, they keep coming back to haunt me.

♪ 'Cause you're here with me tonight ♪

♪