03x23 - Kyle

[bunniefuu]

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪

♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let's go!

♪ ♪ We'll be there ♪

♪ A wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪

♪ Yeah, we'll be there ♪

♪ Wherever we are, there's fun to be found ♪

♪ We'll be there when you turn that corner ♪

♪ We'll jump out the bush ♪

♪ With a big bear hug and a smile ♪

♪ We'll be there ♪

[Music]



[Soft classical music playing]



[Snoring]



Wakey-wakey, Mr.

Nom Nom.

You have an interview in an hour.

Go away!

Pardon me, sir.

[Panting]

[Upbeat music playing]

[Hair dryer whirring]

[Laughs]

[Low-key music plays]

Your place is beautiful.

Welcome to another "Morning with Kate." Today, we have the viral-video sensation Nom Nom in the house.

G'day, mates.

Congratulations on becoming the new face of Australian Air.

It must be amazing to see your face flying from continent to continent, huh?

[Blows raspberry]

Not as much as the fat paychecks that I get.

[Forced laughter]

But, seriously, your family, they must be so proud.

To be honest, I wouldn't know.

I ...

I don't even know where they are.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's so sad.

Ah, it's fine.

I ...

I do have this photo from my past.

Aww, that's so cute!

That's me in the middle ...

the one destined for stardom.

And what would you do if you had your family today?

Oh, I don't know.

I ...

I'd share my success with them, I guess.

What's mine would be theirs.

Mm-hmm.

Now, Nom Nom, how did it feel when ...

[Ear piece static]

Hmm?

What's that?

Uh-huh.

Seriously?

Uh, what is this?

What [chuckles]

...

What's going on, here?

Nom Nom, we have a caller on the line saying that he knows you.

Uh, what?

Okay, then.

Can we get this person on the speaker, please?

[Chiming]

Kyle: Uh, g'day?

Hello!

We hear that you might know Nom Nom?

Uh, yeah.

That's ...

that's right.

Well, who wouldn't know me, right?

[Chuckles]

Could you please be a little more specific here?

Uh, of course.

Uh, I'm sorry, Nom Nom.

I ...

I think I'm your brother.

What?

What'd you say?

Your brother?

My broth...

Hmph!

[Music]

[Car door closes]

Hmm.

Sir, I can't tell if he's your brother.

Honestly, all koalas look alike to me.

No one asked you.

So, you're the one who called, huh?

Uh, g'day, Mr.

Nom Nom.

[Chuckles nervously]

I'm Kyle.

So, you're my brother, huh?

Uh, I don't know.

You got any proof?

Uh, proof?

Oh, dang.

[Sighs]

You know, I ...

I ...

I shouldn't have wasted your time.

I'm ...

I'm sorry.

Huh?

[Gasps]

Uh...

is everything okay?

Your eyebrows.

You...

Mr.

Nom Nom?

Uh, oh!

Just call me Nom Nom...

brother.

Hey, you got all this, right?

[Growls]

Welcome to my home, brother.

[Music]

Allow me to give you the grand tour.

Wow!

Uh, no, no, sir, hold it!

[Knocks on door]

[Doorknob rattling]

Uh, sir, I'm ...

I'm locked out here!

This is where I eat, obviously.

Whoa!

Such a long table.

I bet it takes forever to pass the salt?

[Laughs]

Aye?

Crikey, you have your own bowling alley!

Being rich buys you a lot of things.

So, this is the trophy room.

It's where I keep all my memorable awards and stuff.

Wow!

Oh, and that's a hamster.

He was in a video with me.

Hey, little fella!

Yo, what's up?

[Grunting]

Ooh!

[Sighs]

I'm home, sir.

And I saved the best for last.

Best?

I don't know how you're gonna top what you just showed ...

[Gasps]

Recognize this?

Is that the eucalyptus tree from our childhood?

The one and only.

Ohh!

[Voice breaking]

I can't believe you salvaged it.

Ah, it's such a beauty.

Please tell me you still climb it?

Nah, man, that's in the past.

[Panting]

I climb it sometimes, sir!

And who's this big galoot?

Oh, he's just Bodyguard Number...?

1, sir.

Bodyguard Number 1.

Well, want to have some dinner?

Sounds good.

Eucalyptus for two.

Yes, sir.

[Laughs]

And that's when I realized that Hamster was just playing with me.

[Laughs]

Man, Noms, your celeb stories are the best!

[Sighs]

But I'll tell you what.

I don't want to overstay my welcome.

Probably should get going.

What?

Already?

Yeah.

You know, mate, our family would've been really proud of your success.

You ...

you think?

Psst!

I'm very proud of you, too, sir.

Uhh!

No one cares!

Anyway, remember that lady who was interviewing me?

She wanted to do a follow-up, and [chuckles]

I know this is gonna sound crazy, but why don't you stay?

Stay?

Stay?

Yeah, like move in, you know?

We ...

We could be roommates.

But ...

But, sir, wouldn't we need to do a background check first?

No, dodo!

Those eyebrows are the only background check I need!

So...

what do you say?

Well, I ...

it would be an honor, brother.

[Glasses clink]

[Gags]

Aah!

[Coughing]

What?!

What happened?!

Uh, I ...

I'm just allergic to the pulp in orange juice.

What?!

Who poured this juice?!

You?!

Sir, I, uh ...

[Growls]

You almost k*lled my brother!

My only brother on this planet!

It's all good, mate.

I'll ...

I'll just filter it through my teeth.

No, no, no, no.

You know what, pal?

You're done here.

You're fired!

Fired?

Please, sir...

Ah, out!

Ugh, great.

Now I have to find a new guy.

Uh, so, you ...

you were talking about an interview?

Oh!

The interview, right!

We can share our relationship with the entire world!

Oh, crikey.

Uh, that sounds great.

Together, there's no stopping us.

Yeah!

So there I was, right, drowning my little knickers off, when Nom Nom pulled me out of the river.

And that's when I knew that he wasn't just my brother ...

[Sniffles]

no, he was also my best mate.

[Sniffles]

Now, Nom Nom, I understand there's something you wanted to announce today?

That's right, Kate.

[Clears throat]

Kyle, I feel like I've known you my whole life.

Learning about my past and having the chance to share my future with you has given me happiness I've never felt before.

[Gasps]

And so, I wanted to ask you, Kyle, would you...

split my entire $44 billion empire and be my partner?!

[Gasps]

Oh, crikey!

[Laughs]

Of course I will!

Oh, I love you, you little brother!

[Laughing]

I love you so much!

Look at that!

That's so beautiful.

Camera Man: And that's a wrap.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Listen, mate, I promise, brother, you won't regret this.

Uh, are you okay?

You look like you're upset.

Oh, wh-what are you talking about?

I couldn't be happier.

Ha-ha!

[Laughs nervously]

It's just, your voice says happy, but your brows say "angry." What?

Oh.

[Chuckles]

Well, you know how it is.

I mean, you get emotional, and then you can't express yourself properly emotionally?

I ...

I'm just gonna use the little koala's room real quick.

All right, you crazy man.

You know, you two are so great together.

I ...

I feel happier.

Like ...

like I'm a new Nom Nom.

♪ I have a brother ♪ ♪ I have a brother ♪ ♪ I have a brother ♪ Oof!

Brother!

♪ That really hurt, but I don't care, 'cause I have a brother ♪ ♪ I have a little, little brother, gee-gee-gee ♪ Hey, bro, I was thinking, after we're done, we could groom each other and ...

Kyle: Ah, dang it.

Huh?

Ah, now, why don't these things stay put?

D-Dang it!

Huh?

Aah!

Oh, Nom Nom!

Aah!

I ...

I can explain!

Uhhhhhhhh!

[Music]

Nom Nom!

This isn't what it ...

Oh!

This isn't what it looks like!

So you're just some koala off the street, impersonating my brother to gain fame and fortune?!

Okay, it's exactly what it looks like.

But think about it ...

we both get something out of this.

I mean, you were alone before I came along.

We don't have to be related to still be brothers.

Get...

out.

But our contract?

You shared everything with me ...

halvsies.

[Sniffles]

You can't go back on halvsies, mate.

That's the law.

Give me that contract, or I'm calling security!

Security?

[Scoffs]

You gave your bodyguard the boot.

It's just me and you, partner.

You're going to give me that contract!

[Gasps]

I don't want to fight you, all right?

[Snap!]

Ow!

[Grunts]

Come back here!

Go get him, Nom Nom!

[Panting]

Come on, and ...

just calm down!

We ...

Uh!

Oh!

[Glass shatters]

[Panting]

Whoa!

Give me that contract!

[Grunting]

Oh!

Ah!

No, brother!

Be reasonable!

Stop calling me that, you fraud!

Aah!

[Both grunting]

[Both groan]

Ahh.

[Click]

Ah, come on, Noms.

What are you gonna do with that ...

dry me off?

[Hair dryer whirring]

What?

No!

I gotcha!

I gotcha!

Oh, no!

[Both grunting]

Unh!

[Laughs]

Uhhh!

Ahhh!

[Panting]

There it is!

It's mine!

[Both grunting]

Aah!

Ah!

Wait, Kyle?!

Help me up!

Ah, come to Papa.

Well, now, this is interesting.

It says here that if something happens to one of us, the other one gets the entire estate.

So, looks like I don't really need you at all.

Oh!

Well, I will say, it's been real nice "hanging" with ya.

[Laughs]

But I got to get going.

You know how it is.

Time ticks away.

Well, thanks for everything, "partner." [Laughs]

[Branch crackling]

Ah!

Oh, no.

[Screaming]

Wakey-wakey, Mr.

Nom Nom.

What?

You ...

You came back for me.

I never left, sir.

[Ting!]

The contract!

Kyle got the contract!

Don't worry, sir.

He won't get far.

[Sighs, chuckles]

Too easy, Kyle.

Huh?

Are you Kyle?

Uh, you're looking for ...

What is it, Kyle?

No.

No, I haven't seen him.

Maybe he's over there.

Or ...

no.

Sorry, officers, I can't help ya.

Aah!

Hey!

No, no!

Let me go!

Let me go!

Huh.

Good riddance.

Didn't need no brother anyways.

Yes, sir.

So, what's your name?

Bodyguard Number ...

No.

No, no.

Your real name?

It's...

Farmer.

Farmer?

Is ...

Is that a first or a ...

You know what?

Never mind.

Either way, it's a weird name.

Enough scrubbing.

Fetch my towel.

It's nap time, Farmer.

Yes, sir.

And schedule an appointment with my eucalyptus farmer...

...F-Farmer.

Yes, sir.

[Keyboard clacking]

Done!

Done!