03x21 - Rock Block

Episode transcripts for the TV show "</SCORPION>". Aired: September 2014 to April 2018.*
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An eccentric genius forms an international network of super-geniuses to act as the last line of defense against the complicated threats of the modern world.
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03x21 - Rock Block

Post by bunniefuu »

Paige, we need a final number on those floral arrangements.

They're not gonna arrange themselves, right?

I know.

We're all pushing the wedding ball forward.

Dudes of honor working overtime.

You are Toby's best ma'am for a reason.

You whip those clowns into shape.

We've been looking at venues all day.

We can't do everything ourselves.

We will see you when we're done with the madness on our end.

- They bought it.

- Shh.

I just crossed from bliss to nirvana.

I'm coming up on rapture.

How's your experiment?

Well...

The mud has improved the elasticity.

But the cream has conferred suppleness.

It's a tough call.

Only one thing left to do.

Keep testing.

Dr.

Curtis and Ms.

Quinn, thank you for considering Harbor Oaks as a wedding venue.

We hope that you enjoyed your complimentary spa session.

We most certainly did.

Could we have our gift bags now?

All right.

Okay.

I got aromatherapy.

Facial emulsion.

Lavender exfoliant.

You can have mine.

But...

I'm keeping these.

Stainless steel nail files, hard as granite.

I could use them to smooth out rivets.

The others can never know what's going on here.

What do I look like?

An idiot?

Okay, thanks.

Spent the past hour on the phone with bakeries.

Toby insists on a spumoni flavored cake, but Happy wants it in the shape of a power train control module.

Whatever the hell that is.

Well, you better figure that out.

I asked Happy if Toby could consider a few less guests.

She nurpled me.

We begged them to let us help.

The truth is, they're probably working twice as hard as we are.

If I never have to have another morning like that again, it will be too soon.

How many places did you see?

Too many to count.

It was a total nightmare.

Well, thanks to me, your slog of vetting venues is over.

The Lighthouse at Loma Buena Coast Guard Station.

Beautiful grounds, amazing views.

Permits and cleanup.

Love it.

Someone call a doctor, 'cause my heart just skipped a b*at.

And, as for seating, as you can tell, I have used geometry to place the tables for optimal traffic flow to get between the buffet, the dance floor, and the bathrooms.

Sweet.

And what do you have, 197?

Something very special.

Now, according to my research, your marriage only has a 47% chance of succeeding.

Are you kidding me?

No.

The divorce rate is 53%; It's simple math.

So in the week leading up to your wedding, I've lined up a series of talks.

Now, the first is an economist to discuss comingling assets.

The second is a professional arbiter, to offer tips on dealing with marriage spats.

And then the final lecture is...

a family planning expert.

This is totally inappropriate.

Walter, weddings are about love and magic and hope.

Well, I'd love to hope that they buck the trend, but the best approach is preparation.

And magic is nonsense.

Excuse me.

Hey, Paige.

This is your next duty as best ma'am.

We can't have him mucking up our romance with probability and statistics.

I know.

It's like he has no concept of what a wedding is supposed to...

Are you wearing perfume?

What?

Me?

No.

That-That's ridiculous.

- Why does it smell like lavender?

- Beats me.

I don't smell anything.

Who is up for a six-figure payday to pluck a rocket out of the air in the Hechnian Republic?

We'd have to come up with a solution in 24 hours.

Weddings are expensive.

You had me at six figures.

Now, the Hechnian reentry capsule suffered computer failure due to a solar flare.

Now, it is carrying an asteroid harvested by the Republic so it could be exploited for its heavy metals.

The problem is, the capsule is gonna crash in about 20 hours, and with it, everything they've worked for will be lost.

I believe you mean meteor, not asteroid.

Nope.

Meteors are asteroids that pass through our atmosphere prior to impact with the earth.

But this asteroid is in a protective capsule to prevent it from burning up during atmospheric passage.

So it lands in a pristine asteroid-like state.

Hence, not a meteor.

It still passed through the atmosphere, so, by definition, it's a meteor in an asteroidal state.

I'm gonna kick both of you in your asteroidal states if you don't drop it.

Now, why's this rock so important?

It's rich in the element palladium.

Ooh.

Palladium has countless industrial applications.

Most common use is in catalytic converters in car exhaust systems.

To the auto industry alone, a cache of palladium is worth a fortune.

That's why the Hechnian president built their space program.

According to this Homeland report, he's an Oxford trained scientist who gambled every penny of their national economy on being first to corner the market on space harvesting.

Well, it makes sense.

The superpowers are too big to care about such things, smaller nations can't pull it off.

Hechnian Republic is in the sweet spot.

They can triple their GNP with just one industry.

Not if the capsule crashes and the asteroid is destroyed.

Meteor.

I know this is a private gig and I'm not involved, but I got to ask, how the hell are you gonna solve this?

I have an idea, but it's crazy.

Every Scorpion idea's crazy.

You know how at the spa you go from the sauna into a cold immersion tub for rapid deceleration.

Why would they know anything about that?

We don't know anything about spas.

Who goes to spas?

The point is, we can use a rapid deceleration to save this meteor.

Asteroid.

Shut up.

How?

Walt codes software so we can remotely control a m*llitary helicopter that will have a coupler arm that I build attached to it.

Be careful with that; It's a limited edition.

Why does Super Fun Guy have a helicopter he can fly?

It's for when he gets tired.

Focus.

I assume you're suggesting the helicopter ascends to an interception point with the...

space rock and uses the coupler to attach to the capsule.

But won't the rock just smash into the helicopter?

And even if it doesn't, how do we catch something that's falling from space a million miles an hour?

It will not smash because gravity will pull the capsule straight down.

And it will only be moving at 125 miles per hour, terminal velocity.

So if we cut the helicopter's power at the precise moment, it will free-fall next to the capsule.

While at identical and parallel speeds, the copter will reach out with the coupler and lock onto the capsule's docking mechanism.

Then I will restart the helicopter with maximum upward force and reverse the fall and land it safely at their air force base.

This is crazier than our normal crazy.

It's sound science.

I'm sure the Hechnian president will love it.

This plan has me terrified.

I can assure you, our numbers check out.

Our nation's future is dependent on our space harvesting program.

If it fails, those responsible will bear the cost.

If you'll excuse me.

Sounds like a thr*at.

In our country, the executive branch serves at the pleasure of the m*llitary.

President Korsovich was elected as one of three candidates pre-approved by General Savic.

It is an illusion of democracy.

I pray, as our country advances, it will become more free, like America.

I hope, as a scientist, that our space program will be a great catalyst for change in our nation.

Well, you have nothing to fear.

You hired us for a reason.

We're consummate professionals; We're the best at what we do.

We're done.

Tough putting that thing on, though.

I built the bottom hinge from a washing machine lid.

Consummate professionals.

Calculating interception altitude at 5,273 feet.

Copy that.

Happy.

Wind velocity 112 knots south southwest.

Add 176 feet of altitude.

Inputting intercept coordinates to seven significant digits.

Coupler's ready to go.

Software's coordinated the exact time to 1/100 of a second, so when you hear the beep, k*ll the helicopter engines.

It's in free fall.

Capsule's closing fast.

Velocity matched perfectly.

Extending coupler.

Okay.

We're connected.

Yes.

Unbelievable.

Restart the helicopter and land the cargo safely.

- Happy!

-...

A bit of an issue.

The ignition is not responding.

What do you mean "not responding"?

Fix it.

I would if I could, but there's no response to my remote signal.

We've got a bigger problem.

Force of coupling knocked our objects four degrees off course.

What?

Impact will be in the heart of your capital city three miles away.

Thousands of people will be k*lled.

Save my capsule!

I already told you, I cannot make this bird fly.

Screaming at me doesn't...

Wait, wait.

There we go.

I just needed new batteries.

Sorry.

The remote was originally used for Sly's bird drone.

Haven't used it in a while.

His name was Birdroni.

Amazing.

This was just in space.

Let's move it quickly into the main hangar.

We have the press coming to see our accomplishments.

Hold on a sec, General.

There's a slight bluish discoloration to this thing.

It's shiny.

Let's clean it before the press takes pictures.

Well, I know you're an eager beaver, Ivan, but you're about to tell millions that you mined the galaxy for an incredibly valuable element.

Don't you want me to make sure you have what you think you have here?

It's a two-minute procedure.

I just take a microscopic sample from the capsule's test port.

It's like a biopsy.

It could be worth more than you realize.

Do it quickly.

Walt, moment?

I know you were trying to help when you were booking those lecturers...

But you think it's a bad idea.

Absolutely terrible idea.

Weddings are about the joining of two people to a bond that-that's...

its own amazing thing.

Understood.

Really?

No, but if it makes you feel better, I will cancel the lectures.

Now I just need to focus on finding their wedding song.

Wait.

What?

The bride and groom pick their song.

Well, Toby and Happy couldn't decide on one, so I designed a program that studies the melody, structure and lyrics of thousands of love songs to find the mathematically perfect one.

Mathematically perfect love song?

It'll be the hit of the wedding.

Gallo.

Good news.

We're heading home.

Big success.

I'll fill you in later.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Sitting here going over tablecloths for the nuptials.

I got ivory, snowflake and eggshell.

I mean, they're all white.

I swear, when I get back, I'm taking over this wedding from you guys.

I got to go, kiddo.

Allie.

What a surprise.

Hello, Cabe.

I'm sure you're busy, but I have something, and I thought you should know.

It affects Sylvester.

This is video proof that Patel accepted bribes from a big box store in exchange for his vote on the eminent domain bill.

The bill that would have demolished The Warlock's Chest.

I knew Patel was a snake.

I agree, so I'm delivering this to the West Altadenia Shopper.

The news should be in tomorrow morning's edition.

And Patel should be out of office by tomorrow afternoon.

How does that affect Sly?

When an alderman is stripped of his position, the next leading vote-getter ascends, meaning Sylvester, if he wants, could be sworn in as soon as day after tomorrow.

Thank you for doing this.

Okay.

Well, you should download a copy for your records.

It's a great idea, but I don't know where this thing goes.

Would you like some help?

Sure, yeah.

I'd appreciate that.

Guys, guys, come here.

What's wrong?

I'm picking up on me-levels of anxiety.

I-I-I've finished my analysis.

There is lots of palladium, but there's also DNA.

There's millions of base pairs of DNA, to be exact, and they are all strung together.

Are you saying we found alien life?

No.

We found organized DNA.

There's just no cell membranes, so it's just short of extraterrestrial life.

This DNA could be prion, it could be plasmid.

Amazing.

So the rock's even more valuable for the Hechnian people.

It's not amazing.

It's potentially very dangerous.

Paige, we're dealing with unknown pathogens.

Very likely deadly pathogens that could wipe out life in this country.

Not good.

Pathogens?

I knew DNA and amino acids could be found throughout the galaxy.

Never expected I could bring it back to Earth and endanger our people.

Not just your people.

The whole world's at risk.

We've never seen these pathogens before because they've been cruising the Milky Way for a billion years.

But these can spread quickly.

Imagine the most deadly, communicable flu with no known cure.

So what can be done?

We need to sterilize the asteroid.

To do that, we need to heat it to 3,000 degrees.

At 3,000 degrees, palladium turns to palladium oxide.

Our whole endeavor will be lost.

Then we don't do it.

We've spent too much money, too much time to lose it all now.

You don't have a choice.

Once you open that capsule, you are exposing everyone on this base, everyone in your country to possible death.

We paid you to retrieve our capsule.

That's all.

It's not your concern.

Like hell it isn't.

We're not gonna be responsible for potentially millions of deaths.

Not your decision to make.

No, but it is mine.

We will not risk the lives of innocent people to save face.

We will tell the press and our nation that we have tried...

and failed.

Don't forget who made you president.

I haven't.

But I am president, nonetheless.

Team Scorpion, thank you for your hard work today.

My men will escort you to your plane.

Does anyone else think it was weird how quickly they shuttled us off right after we rock-blocked them?

I found it strange.

Walt, your...

your shoe's untied there.

Thank you.

Would you look at that?

So is mine.

I think the president and the general are planning something, and I don't think sterilizing that rock is on their to-do list.

I dropped my contact!

Sylvester.

You wear glasses.

One...

I'm not a good liar.

Two...

the last thing this earth needs is more germs.

We can't let them expose that asteroid.

- Meteor.

- I dropped my pen.

I'll help you look.

Okay, we need to figure something out because once we get on that plane, we lose our chance to stop this from happening.

Well, we'd better figure it out fast, because we all look like a bunch of hens eating chicken feed.

I invite them to our country, pay them handsomely, and this is how they repay us?

I'll see to it they never make it onto that plane.

No.

My office will take care of it.

Eerik, get your service w*apon.

Okay, we're just a few miles from the base's airstrip.

We need a plan.

The problem is, they're not gonna let us anywhere near that rock.

Why are we pulling over?

The president's attaché is here, and he has a g*n.

Team Scorpion.

Something tells me they're not here 'cause we forgot our parting gifts.

Get out.

Now!

Come on.

By order of the president, return to the main hangar.

Yes, sir.

Sir, I-I-I assure you we have no intention of interfering with any plans you have for your meteor.

Asteroid.

Man, you really hate those badges.

General.

I've dispatched of the Americans.

I'll send a team to dispose of the bodies.

The badges were bugged.

We heard all you said in the truck, including Savic.

And he will k*ll you before he lets you touch the contents of that capsule.

And then he will k*ll me and the president for helping you.

So we need to work together carefully.

Work together how?

You're the geniuses.

The president was hoping you'd have a plan.

Well, we can try to come up with one.

Where's the capsule now?

West Campus, the aeronautics hangar.

I'll fill in Cabe.

So they think you're dead?

We'll be dead for real if you can't get us out of this country.

All right, you guys figure out a way to scrub that rock, and Homeland and I will come up with an extraction plan.

Put your comm in.

We need you.

This is where the capsule is.

The specimen will be removed at a ceremony in one hour.

People there could be immediately contaminated, and they'll be carriers of that pathogen.

Security?

Most of the campus are scientists who look a lot like you guys.

But the area around the hangar and the perimeter is crawling with m*llitary guards.

Many of them already saw you when you landed the helicopter.

What's that?

This is the Aeronautical Testing Wind Tunnel.

That's our single point of failure.

Well, the-the wind tunnel shares a wall with the aeronautics hangar.

From inside the tunnel, we can turn the capsule into an oven to sterilize the asteroid without the general or anyone in the hangar even knowing.

Cabe, are you there?

Just got off with Homeland.

We're putting together a way to get you guys out of there.

Before that happens, I'm gonna need your help with some delicate chemistry that has the potential to be quite combustible.

Now, you'll need to perform precise work for us.

I'll try, but measuring precise chemical formulas isn't really my specialty.

I can help.

I use sensitive equipment in Patel's geology lab all the time.

Is that Allie?

Now's not a good time to tell you this, but she stopped by to say that Patel's on the outs, and Sly is alderman if he wants it.

Wow.

Normally I would take a moment to digest such news, but right now all I want for us is to get to that wind tunnel so we can fix this mess.

I am lost.

How do you plan to use the wind tunnel to heat up the capsule?

As the president's attaché, you can easily get us onto West Campus.

Coming through.

Coming through.

We'll set up in a secure lab.

Happy will find what she can to fabricate a blowtorch.

Toby will optimize a vacuum.

Paige will gather the tools to make a hole in the wind tunnel wall.

I will create a fuel delivery system.

Meanwhile, Eerik and Sly will slip a comm to President Korsovich.

Then head back to the mission control tent.

Since the capsule's been removed, no one will be there.

Sly will plug into the campus server and have a direct link to all security cameras.

Korsovich will ensure the capsule is placed next to the wall shared with the wind tunnel.

There, back against the wall, right beneath our nation's m*llitary flag.

Good idea.

While we get this done, Allie and Cabe will test-run various chemical formulas I've sent them to see which creates the hottest-burning fuel source so we can burn the asteroid sterile.

Add 10cc's of methanol courtesy of this disinfectant.

This next?

I think if you add that in, we blow up the garage.

I'll hold off, then.

Add stain remover.

And you'll need disinfectant.

Of all the recipes you gave us, this one baked the hottest cake.

Think we're set.

Good, 'cause we're running out of time before they open their capsule.

Did you guys see Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

No.

People in the film walk amongst the body snatchers without being caught by being emotionless.

They just act like they belong.

Understood.

- No m*llitary types along the path.

- Perfect.

Okay, this shouldn't take long.

So you and Paige need to synthesize a chemical litmus test to make sure that there are no DNA strands that survive the sterilization.

Copy that.

Okay.

This brick will do fine.

Would be a lot easier if we could just walk into the wind tunnel.

Eerik said the guards are in front of this place.

Intake vent on the roof is the most efficient option.

It'll be like a water slide without the water.

I've never been on one.

You've never been to the water park?

No.

I've never been on a slide.

Just get up the ladder.

Slides are stupid.

Okay, we're in.

Okay.

Opening the directional baffles so you can get through.

They are razor sharp, designed to cut the wind into smooth, unidirectional flow.

Which means it could also cut you into small, unidirectional pieces, so be careful.

Give me your hand.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm gonna use the stud finder to locate where the capsule is pressed against the tunnel wall.

Okay.

Maestro, play something festive.

Bogeys!

Two scientists are headed towards the observation room!

Hide.

Hide where?

It's a tunnel.

Lock the door, Sly.

It's not electronic.

I can't.

If you're caught in there, you die.

Doctor, what are you doing?!

Mr.

President, we wanted to compare the actual re-entry wind resistance data to the experimental values from the tunnel.

I appreciate your dedication, but now is not the time for work.

It's a time for celebration.

I want the whole team to be there.

Yes, sir.

Nice work, Mr.

President.

That was close!

Think the brick softened up that metal enough.

Time to cut.


I'm almost ready here, guys!

Lab had every ingredient we needed except a good source of, phosphorous and nitrogen.

I'm still searching.

Whoa, check it out.

You found what you need?

No.

It's an Eastern Bloc knock-off of Dr.

Shazz soda, Dr.

Shizz.

Focus.

Right.

Got it!

No.

Is that what I think it is?

Yeah.

Bird poop is an excellent source of phosphorous and nitrogen.

If there are still strands of organized DNA left on our meteor after Walter sterilized it, this is gonna make it glow orange.

And we'll know that it still isn't safe.

We've used bat poop, bird poop.

Is there anything crap can't do?

There's the capsule.

Okay.

Homemade fuel flowing.

Sliding through the sample port, right up against the meteor.

Tight enough fit so no pathogens can come out.

It's working.

All right, guys, be careful.

Allie's test showed that that fuel burns well in excess of 3,000 degrees.

Good.

We'll be done sooner and can get the heck out of here.

To that end, Homeland's got the Navy SEALs waiting for you on a red fishing boat on Teegan Bay, 30 miles west of the base.

Happy, the turbine's starting.

I believe it is time for you to take the microphone.

Speak to the people of our republic.

Yes.

Turn up the volume so all can hear.

The flame must've set off a heat sensor.

I didn't know that this tunnel had a heat sensor.

Fire's out!

Must think we're trying to run a re-entry simulation.

Well, just turn it off!

It's not a desk fan.

It's a 5,000-horsepower turbine.

It needs to go through a 15-minute cycle to start slowing down.

Hold on!

It's too strong!

And getting stronger!

I can't hold on much longer!

God.

Are the baffles still open?!

Yes!

Sly, you got to close those things before they get julienned like a couple potatoes.

I'm trying.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

You did it.

Baffles are closing.

They're closing slowly due to the wind pressure.

Guys, just hold on a little bit longer.

They're alive!

I can breathe now.

Is it always like this with you guys?

We're not done yet.

You guys got to get through that wind and back to burning that stone.

We're facing wind force three times a Cat 5 hurricane!

We can't move!

All right, Happy, use the claw on your hammer to pickaxe your way back to the hole.

I can't reach it!

Savic does not give long speeches.

He will open that capsule when he's done.

I've got an idea!

Nail files!

Ixnay on the aspay.

We can't keep a campfire lit at Forestry Braves with a slight breeze.

How is she going to light a blowtorch again in a wind tunnel?

Sly, open up the baffles to increase turbulent flow!

To create an eddy in the wind stream so Happy can light the torch.

Only need to open the mid-baffles, but the system's designed as an all-or-non proposition.

So can't remotely open just one.

I'll do it manually!

Ooh, that's the sound of a man on the receiving end of a very painful cut.

Wind flow's changed.

Happy's standing.

Got it!

Okay, we're good to go.

Now the only problem is, how do we get the DNA goulash into the wind tunnel with the wind still blowing?

We can't wait until it shuts down, and Savic's gonna open that capsule any minute.

But if you walk in there, you'll be thrown up against that baffle with Walter.

Where's the heat sensor that turned the turbine on?

Two feet away from the door to the observation room.

This Dr.

Shizz has got to be good for something.

Grab that flask, put on this lab coat, follow me.

All clear.

Everybody's at the ceremony.

See, this light is here for a reason...

So insane people do not open this door while the turbine is on.

So stand back while I open it.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

It's just a cut.

Happy, where are we?

Almost done heating this sucker up.

Now it is time for you to see what I have brought back to our great land.

Lieutenant, your men may now open the capsule.

Hurry.

They're opening the capsule.

Flask.

Just need a small sample to test.

No orange, no orange.

No orange.

What is wrong with you?

Sorry, sir.

The air inside is hot as oven.

Get down!

No orange.

We're good.

It's just dust.

The Americans!

Guys, the gig is up.

Get out now.

Mr.

President, you need to find us.

We can get you out safely.

I have allies who will hide.

Eerik and me.

Hechnians are survivors.

You take care of your own team and be safe.

Come on, come on, get in!

Let's go, we got to go!

The pass code to the unmanned back gate.

Godspeed.

No one on our tail.

We're gonna make it.

Just heard from the SEALs.

They're ready and waiting.

We're 15 minutes away.

We're good.

General Savic.

Be advised the president is in custody.

He said he and Eerik would be safe.

He knew we wouldn't leave if he was in danger.

Guys, we can't just leave him here.

But it's not like we can take on an entire army.

Not with our strength.

But with our brains.

Happy, turn the car around.

Your trial will be in the morning, so you'll be dead by sundown.

As for Team Scorpion, I have men at every train station, highway and port in a 30-mile radius.

They will be captured.

General.

The Americans are at security gate.

Hello.

Your men currently have their g*ns at our backs.

But if you let us live, we can make sure the U.S.

doesn't shut down your entire space program.

Homeland knows what you're up to and they've informed the White House.

But you could give me five minutes of your time and we could make a deal.

It could make you very, very rich.

Let me begin by saying you have a lovely country.

Your five minutes is running.

Get to the point, Sly.

Right, the point.

This is what is left of your meteor.

- Asteroid.

- Seriously?

Now?

I am a germophobe; I would never put my hand in something if it was contaminated.

We rendered a deadly space rock safe.

We have that technology.

We know how to do it.

You don't.

So you have two choices.

And what are they?

One, you get out of the space harvesting game.

The U.S.

won't let you proceed as you've been going because it threatens life on this planet.

Or two, we license you our tech, we show you how to confirm if any specimen if safe before you bring it to Earth, and the U.S.

will enforce your exclusive right to our I.P.

in exchange for an 80/20 revenue split with America, in your favor.

You have the authority to do this?

You're just a child.

Cabe?

The U.S.

embassy wants to meet with you regarding this matter within the hour.

This is a real offer, but my nation will only deal with President Korsovich and his allies, who will remain in power, unharmed.

Agreed.

Come on, boys.

You know what to do.

Uncuff us.

You just brokered a peace treaty.

Like a real statesman.

I almost threw up twice.

Let's keep that between us.

I have never needed a drink so badly.

Today was...

Par for the course.

You were great, by the way.

Truly appreciate your help.

The whole g*ng does.

If they were here, they'd tell you themselves.

You really love those guys, don't you?

Absolutely.

They're very lucky.

Well, I better go drop that jump drive off at the Shopper.

I've got a crooked Alderman to take down.

Okay, well...

take care.

You too, Cabe.

Damn it.

Dock that agent a day's pay for napping on the job.

Hey, Cabe, we're back.

Hey, guys.

It's good to see you.

Same here.

Where's Allie?

We wanted to say thank you.

She's gone.

She's gone for the day, or she's still gone gone?

She's gone gone.

But the important thing is, is Patel's out, and you're in.

The Alderman seat's yours if you want it.

Yeah, I'm not gonna take it.

Why the hell not?

Because you want me to and I don't listen to stupid people.

Excuse me?

Might want to say that kind of stuff from a distance, Sly.

No.

I'm saying it to his face.

Cabe, you are stupid.

Allie's great.

You like her and she likes you, but you won't be with her just to try and protect me, and what she did doesn't even bother me anymore.

That's stupid.

So you'd give up being Alderman just to teach me a lesson?

I'm offering you a trade.

I'll take the oath of office if you take Allie to dinner.

You're turning into a hell of a negotiator.

Come on, I'm gonna go see Allie, I'll give you a ride home.

Well, I have some paperwork to do.

So, you guys must need a rest after today's case, right on the heels of all that wedding running-around you've been doing.

Yeah, you're telling me, sister.

We are pooped.

Liar.

Happy's talking about plunge pools, and has high-end nail files and your skin's never looked better.

Really?

I didn't think anyone noticed.

Can it.

I know you've been taking advantage of the freebies from the venues, and your gig is up.

Paige, I am appalled and insulted that you would even...

Pay her off.

What?

She wants a payoff.

Give her the coupons from Harmony Mansion Spa.

Come on, Paige wouldn't take a bribe.

I want a bribe.

I'm disappointed in you.

You'll get over it.

You know, if we get out of here now, we could get a quick exfoliation at that hotel on Sunset.

Okay, let's do it.

If you're looking for rebates on solar panel installation...

Mr.

O'Brien, this is Mel Casey.

I got your message.

I can fit Happy and Toby in next week.

Please call me back to set up a time.

Another pre-marital lecturer?

Walter, it's your call, but I'm telling you it's a mistake.

No, I thought about what you told me and, um, you were right.

So I cancelled all of them.

Who left the message?

Dance instructor.

You know, Happy and Toby are none too light on their feet, so I thought that they could maybe learn something nice for their first dance as husband and wife.

Walter...

That's...

that's actually sweet.

Well, I also thought about what you said regarding a wedding being a celebration of a special bond between two people.

And that got me thinking about Erwin Schrodinger, the father of quantum mechanics.

Of course it did.

Schrodinger once told a story about how he loved his wife.

Love made no scientific sense to him; He couldn't explain the bond.

But he said when they stared into each other's eyes, their consciousness must have been mathematically identical because...

that's when love made sense to him.

When looking into her eyes.

So since you look into someone's eyes when you dance, dance lessons made sense.

Put that way, it makes a lot of sense.

Ooh, I also thought about what you said about the unique characteristics of one person combining with what makes another person special into a bond that is its own amazing thing.

So, I...

picked out a wedding song that combined Toby's knowledge of biology with Happy's talents in construction and engineering.

Medical for Toby and mechanical for Happy.

It's-It's very you.

Perhaps we should see if it's suitable for dancing?

I guess we can test it out.
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