09x03 - Mimiki Ke Kai, Ahuwale Ka Papa Leho

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Hawaii Five-0". Aired: September 2010 to April 2020.*
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"Hawaii Five-0" is a remake of the original 1968 television series, in which Steve McGarrett returns home to Oahu, in order to find his father's k*ller. The governor offers him the chance to run his own task force (Five-0).
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09x03 - Mimiki Ke Kai, Ahuwale Ka Papa Leho

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Hot in ♪

♪ So hot in here ♪

♪ So hot in ♪

♪ Ah, oh! ♪

♪ With a little bit of, uh, uh ♪

♪ And a little bit of, uh, uh ♪

♪ Just a little bit of, just a little bit of ♪

♪ Just a little bit of, just a little bit of ♪

♪ I was like, good gracious, ass is bodacious, uh ♪

♪ Flirtatious, trying to show patience ♪

♪ I'm waiting for the right time to sh**t my steez, you know ♪

♪ Waiting for the right time to flash them keys ♪

♪ Then, uh, I'm leaving, please believe in ♪

♪ Oh, me and the rest of my heathens ♪

♪ Check it, got it locked at the top of the Four Seasons ♪

♪ Penthouse, rooftop, birds I'm feeding... ♪ Hey, it's the Hawaiian 105 Kolohe Krew, Shannon Scott and Mele Apana, with you on this Aloha Saturday.

Hey, for those of you keeping track, it's day number five of this epic heat wave, and it looks like it's gonna be another scorcher!

You know, I got 9:00 a.m. on the clock and a hundred on the mercury, and it's... ooh... it's getting even hotter and hotter.

I know, baby, but don't count on running that AC all day because city officials are predicting even more...

Trust me, dude, I'd do the same if I could.

... as the electric grid is, you know...

Pushed to the max! Pushed to the max!

So stay indoors, stay hydrated, but most importantly, stay tuned right here to Da Kolohe Krew on Hawaiian 105...

K-I-N-E.

♪ Whenever I'm with you... ♪ Hey, genius, we're all in the same traffic here!

Oh, no, that's great. Keep doing it. Keep honking.

Is that working out for you? We moving? Great.

♪ Could it be the devil in me? ♪

♪ Or is this the way love's supposed to be? ♪

♪ It's like a heat wave ♪

♪ I can't keep from crying ♪

♪ It's tearing me apart ♪

♪ Whenever he calls my name ♪

♪ Soft, low, sweet and plain... ♪

...this quarter, they need to score on this drive.

Hey.

Comfortable? Yeah. Um...

Hope you don't mind.

I-I didn't know that you were gonna come in on a Saturday, so I-I thought I'd stop by and catch up on some paperwork.

You know? Gets a little bit crazy during the week.

Your AC's broken, isn't it?

Yeah, you got me, uh...

There ain't no AC at McGarrett's house.

The best you're gonna get there is you open up the front door and back door and you pray to God for a draft to come through.

Yeah, well, I was hoping to camp out here, too, but McGarrett just called as I was coming in; HPD is completely stretched thin with 9-1-1 calls. They need us to help out, so...

You know, it makes sense. Crime spikes during heat waves.

Can we not pretend that that is some well-established fact?

Well, it-it is.

What, you never heard of that? It-it's because...

Could you be more of a condescending jerk right now?

Okay, short tempers, all right?

Sometimes, when it gets a little bit hot, people get a little bit...

So, how's that? Huh?

It's good, huh?

Yes, I like that a lot. Thank you.

All right, let's go. Duty calls.

Uh, yeah, okay, just give me a minute.

I'm just gonna finish something up here.

All right, well, I'll wait. Let's go.

Actually, why-why don't you just meet me downstairs?

I'll be real quick, two seconds.

You're not wearing pants, are you?

Underwear?

Oh, my God.

No. No. No.

No. No.

That's my chair!

Radiator's fried.

Call for a tow.

Today? In this heat? We'll be here for hours.

Hey. You can't leave me in here.

Please.

I can't breathe.

You said it yourself. It's gonna be a while.

I guess we can't just let her bake in there.

There. Don't move.

She needs water.

I'll go knock on the door.

You're starting with the salmon?

Yeah, I'm starting with the salmon.

It was closest to the door.

Right, but it's half the price of the fillet.

You don't think we should get the most expensive items on ice first?

So should I start with the lobster?

Sure. Maybe. I don't know.

Prioritize. You know what I mean?

Oh, oh, okay. So then, should I go lobster, fillet, tuna, salmon, crab, or should I go lobster, fillet, crab, tuna, salmon?

And then, what about the, uh, wagyu meatballs?

Where do they go? Wagyu meatballs? - Yeah. Where do they go?

Wagyu meatballs go in the trash with the rest of the inventory unless you stop yapping and start bringing food out here. Why is everything a life or death with you?

It's not life and death. It's not life and death.

Everything, it's the end of the world.

Power went out a half an hour ago.

Yeah, so what's your point?

My point is that we have a beautiful commercial freezer.

Okay? We paid a lot of money for it. You heard the salesman.

We got 24 hours; the stuff will keep temperature if the power goes out.

Salesman? Like a salesman never lies?

All I'm saying is we don't know how long these blackouts are gonna last.

Well, then it's good we have ice.

Lots of it, right?

Hey, Kamekona.

Looks like I'm just in time for the wet T-shirt contest.

Hi, Kamekona. Nice hat.

You know it. I'm calling it the KameCooler.

Ah. If you want to preorder one, Kickstarter's going live next week.

I don't know what that means.

Who are these two?

Hired muscle.

You think I was gonna do manual labor in this heat?

That's great. Freezer's that way, boys.

Not for you, for me.

Boys, freezer's that way.

What?

I've been stockpiling ice for the past few weeks.

Ah. Well, that explains why there's half a glacier in there.

Okay, whatever. As long as you leave enough for us to fill these coolers. We're trying to save our perishables here.

Usually I'll say this is a "you" problem.

Seeing that I'm a partner in this venture, I'll help you guys out this one time.

Oh, that's very generous. Thank you.

Just know, this act of charity is cutting into my profits today.

This kind of weather?

Huge spike in the customers at the shave ice truck.

And I'm the only game in town with enough product to meet the demand.

A smart businessman always plans ahead.

They don't call me the Oracle of Oahu for nothing.

Excuse me, who calls you the Oracle of Oahu?

These two, for starters.

They don't count; they're indentured servants.

Smart. You need to hydrate today.

Yeah, uh, I wouldn't worry about him.

He's been on that thing like a baby with a bottle.

Maybe you should get yourself a bottle because you're sweating like an animal. Maybe if you move with just a little urgency instead of sitting down every two minutes watering yourself like a plant, you'd actually break a sweat.

That's kind of funny.

You should do some comedy, some stand-up here.

I think, maybe, like, at the end of the night, when we want people to leave.

That's good, that's funny, too.

I'm supposed to be the silent partner in this.

You two should try it sometime.

He doesn't know how to be silent. Are you kidding me?

Compared to you, I'm a monk.

A monk... your phone's loud.

Even your phone's loud.

McGarrett.

Pua.

Who were the officers?

Sergeant Skip Wendall and Lieutenant Pete Avea.

All right, well, what do you think so far?

Far as we can piece together, the officers were transporting a female perp, Tracy Benson, back to the station when their car overheated.

Looks like they pulled over, Benson somehow got loose, sh*t them both with Avea's service w*apon.

Okay, who's the third body?

Motorcyclist.

We believe he stumbled onto the crime scene.

Then the sh**t used his bike to get away.

I pulled the registration, got an APB out on the bike.

What do we know about this Benson?

Taking out two cops like this, while she's handcuffed?

That's not within the skill set of your average perp.

No, it's not.

Which is why it's strange she came back completely clean.

No priors.

Okay, what did she get picked up for this morning?

as*ault charge.

Apparently, she got into it with the superintendent at her building.

It doesn't make sense.

No priors, she would've made bail.

She'd be out in a couple hours.

Why was she so desperate to escape custody that she g*ns down two cops in cold blood?

Go for Dog.

You better be in the parking lot.

I'm standing on the first tee, and it ain't getting any cooler.

Oh, sorry, man.

I just assumed that it was off.

You'd have to be out of your damn mind to play golf in weather like this today.

Well, I guess when some of us say we're going to be somewhere, our word actually means something.

Bruddah, why don't you come join me?

I'm up to my pits in ice.

Beth just made a fresh batch of lemonade.

Come on, bruddah, this is a big tub.

I hard pass.

Are you sure?

Listen, you know there's no shame in tapping out when Mother Nature's got you by the short and curlies.

Nobody want to hear about your short... good-bye.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, where you going?

Well, your-your buddy canceled, so I just assumed...

You assumed wrong.

Do you know how hard it is to get a tee time out here on a Saturday at this hoity-toity little club?

I will play the round by myself, thank you very much.

But, sir, the-the heat.

There's... Look around, there's no one else out here.

Well, that's perfect.

Means I can take my sweet-ass time.

Mr. Grover, I really think you should reconsider.

Uh, playing in these conditions just isn't safe.

I'll tell you what ain't safe, you and all this yakity-yakity-yakity while Mr. Grover's trying to line up his sh*t.

Mr. Dresden, my name's Steve McGarrett with the Five-O Task Force.

We need to ask you a couple questions about your tenant, Tracy Benson.

Mr. Dresden, can you hear me, sir?

Uh, the doctors had to sedate him because of the pain.

He's, uh, he's pretty out of it.

Mrs. Dresden?

Can you tell us what happened to your husband?

Our tenant, Tracy, went crazy and att*cked him.

And I want to press charges.

What?

Is she saying something different? Well, she's lying.

You want to have a seat?

They had her in handcuffs.

How did she get away?

In order to get her back, we're gonna need your help, Mrs. Dresden.

So can you tell us what may have caused Miss Benson to att*ck your husband the way she did?

All I know, I was getting ready for work and I heard shouting downstairs.

Tracy was upset about our air conditioning in her apartment.

I rushed downstairs to find her standing over my husband, punching and kicking him.

And when I screamed for help, she left.

Okay, wait, I'm sorry, y-you're saying that-that she did this to your husband because of something to do with her air conditioner?

We've had service people in and out all week.

Of course the tenants blame the super when their AC breaks down, but it's not his fault.

The units are just old.

To me, it still seems a bit extreme, no?

It's the heat. It makes people do crazy things.

Have you ever had problems with, uh, with Miss Benson in the past?

Not at all. Uh... Tracy's quiet.

She keeps to herself and she pays her rent on time.

She's a good tenant.

You know where she works?

I don't think she has a job; at least she didn't list one on her rental application.

Okay, so she has no job, but she pays her rent on time.

She said she was in a car accident a couple years ago and there was an insurance settlement.

I guess it was enough money where she didn't have to work.

Okay.

So, using the Social Security Number you got off the rental application, I was able to run Tracy Benson's finances.

First off, there's no record of any insurance settlement.

So she lied about how she was making the rent. What else?

All of her credit cards and bank accounts were closed three years ago, because that's when she d*ed.

What? Say that again.

Tracy Benson d*ed in 2015.

The death certificate was issued in New Mexico.

This woman is using a dead person's identity.

Explains why she was so desperate to get away from the cops.

We know that she's hiding out on the Island, living under an assumed name, and whatever it is she's wanted for is bad enough she didn't mind adding "cop k*ller" to the list.

Thank you, Jerry, and stay cool today.

It's kind of hot out. Stay hydrated.

Stay hydrated, Jerry.

Oh, you don't have to worry about me.

I'm working on a k*ller smoothie recipe I got off this nutrition subreddit I follow.

About to fire up the ol' Vitamix.

That's good. See? Everyone takes it seriously, except you.

Aw, crap. What happened?

Uh, nothing, I'm good. Bye, Jerry.

Oh, yeah. There she is. That's good.

What?

Just getting the optimal "vent to armpit" angle.

Why don't you wind the window down and get a cross-breeze going?

Maybe because it's 105 degrees.

Yeah, see, I don't mind it.

I-I think, uh, being hot's a state of mind.

Says the man with no pants.

See, that's exactly my point, because we adapt, you know, if not physically, then mentally.

See, watch, I'm gonna wind... Do not!

Do not even think about doing that.

And don't get used to driving my car, either.

Why not?

McGarrett always drives around Danny's car.

Oh, so you're McGarrett now? I-I didn't say that.

God, it was just a matter of time, wasn't it?

I mean, you lived together, went on that SEAL rescue mission together. Of course.

Hey, there are worse people to model myself after.

You're right.

100%.

Do I still just call you Junior, or is it McGarrett Junior now?

Okay, then, what? If I'm McGarrett, then you're Detective Williams.

Okay, no, I am not.

Yeah, see, you just sounded like him. No, I did not.

Yeah, you sure did. No, I do not.

Come on, say something he would say. No, get out of here.

Give me your best impression, come on.

Just drive the car. Shut up and drive the... Give me your best impression.

"You're not..."

"Come on, Steve. Wh-What the hell are you doing?"

"Huh? Doors are for knocking, not kicking down."

"Baboon monkey."

"Jersey's the best. Everything about Hawaii's terrible.

"Th-The weather, Th-the, um, the-the-the beaches, "the food. Oh...

"Anyone who puts pineapple on pizza should get the death penalty."

That was good.

Okay, look at this.

Alert from HPD. Liliha area.

sh*ts fired at 329 Alewa Drive. Home invasion in progress.

Let's go. Okay, that's us.

Hey!

Five-O! Drop your w*apon!

I'm the one who called you guys!

This is my place!

Where's the intruder?

Intruders!

I been holding them off until you guys arrived.

Let's move.

Thank God you're here.

He's crazy!

We just wanted to cool off, that's all.

We thought he was out of town, but he got back and he pulled a g*n on us.

I just want to go home.

All right. It's okay.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Okay. Come on, get out.

Hey!

What did I say?!

Put the g*n down!

Place it on the roof now!

Not until I see them in cuffs! All of them!

Put the g*n down right now.

They're the ones who broke into my property.

You won't do something about it, I will. I'm not gonna warn you again.

Okay, buddy? This guy's out of it.

You think? Sir?

What's your name?

I'm Junior.

Makaio.

Makaio. Okay.

Hey, Makaio, can you tell me, are you on any medication?

Cholesterol meds.

And something for my anxiety... sertraline.

But don't make this about me!

No, I'm not, okay? Makaio, did you know that some anxiety medications can increase heat sensitivity?

Are you messing with me?

Don't mess with me. I'm warning you.

I'm not. It's true. Okay?

It causes dehydration, and-and some cases, heat stroke, and, buddy, I-I think that's what's happening to you right now.

Are you feeling light-headed?

A little bit, but...

All right, then all you need to do is get out of the sun.

Makaio, can you do that?

All you need to do is put down the shotgun and come inside.

Simple.

That was good work back there.

How did you know all that stuff?

About the meds?

Uh, my sister.

She was on them for a bit.

And, uh, she got really disoriented once.

I-In heat. Not nearly as bad as this, but... yeah.

Got it.

Hey, Junes, I-I know you don't really talk about your sister or what happened, and that's totally fine.

But just know if-if you ever wanted to...

Well, thank you. Appreciate it.

You're welcome.

Hey, is that someone in your car?

Hey!

Thank you.

So, dispatch says we're gonna have to wait an hour for another vehicle.

Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now?

That's not fair, okay?

We were responding to a call, and I had no time to take the key out of the cup holder.

Oh, no, no, of course not, 'cause that would've taken all of two seconds.

Okay, come on.

You can continue berating me on the walk back to HQ.

Wait, what? Hold on, hold on, hold on. You said "walk"?

I thought you said we were waiting for a squad car.

No. I said it was gonna take an hour.

But why stand here and waste time when we can walk there in 30 minutes? Jog, 15.

What, you got something against exercise?

Who in their right mind would exercise in this heat?

Ooh-whee!

Hey!

How you like them apples?

Hey, what's the matter with you? You don't look so hot.

Oh, I am hot.

I am very hot, Mr. Grover, but I will manage.

Well, I'll tell you what. I'm a good sport.

Hang on a second. Let me get that for you.

Oh, uh, Mr. Grover, I... I really think you should just consider calling it a day.

What the hell for?

In fact, you know, I-I'd be happy to, you know, pull some strings, get you back out here for a complimentary round.

Really?

That sounds like a mighty generous offer.

But, see, the thing is this, Gary.

This heat is doing wonders for my knee.

As a matter of fact, my whole body hasn't felt this loose in years.

Bottom line, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm having the round of my life.

Well, if it's all the same to you, sir, I think I'm gonna duck out of here.

Whoa, wait a second, now.

I need you to stay here.

Why? You think I'm some kind of good luck charm?

This heat got you losing your damn mind?

You ain't getting no credit for this. This is all me.

But if you think anybody's gonna believe that I sh*t a round like I'm sh**ting today without eyewitness corroboration, then I guess you don't know my friends or my family.

Bottom line is y-you're gonna have to talk to a lot of people today.

Thanks, buddy.

Come along, Noonan.

You don't think I know what you're doing there?

Make a selection.

♪ Your lovin' is fly, so fly ♪

♪ No lie, no lie... ♪ Yo, I need some ice. Cooler's empty.

Sorry. Just sold the last two bags.

I'll give you 20 bucks for those.

Pass.

Forty.

Still a no.

Next.

Yo, bruh, wait up a minute.

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Dude, it's pretty weird that you keep handcuffs in your moped.

I'm with Five-O.

Cool. Wait. Really?

Please. I got to get home.

You're not going anywhere. I am totally pressing charges.

You don't understand.

My wife is six months pregnant, and heat sent her into contractions.

Doctor said I got to keep her cool until the ambulance comes.

Hold on. That's what you needed the ice for?

911 said it could take over an hour for them to get there.

Sounds like we have extenuating circumstances.

What are the chances he's not making that up?

Someone check my pocket.

Check my phone. I'll show you.

Oh.

Well...

What do you need the ice for?

Margaritas.

Let him go.

He can have the ice.

It already melted.

Please tell me you have it.

Relax, cuz.

Like the good book sayeth, "The iceman cometh."

Just in time. We're running low, and the line keeps getting longer.

Seems our competition's completely tapped out.

What?

Call that a c*ptive market. You know what we do next?

Hells to the yeah. We sell a crap ton of shave ice.

No, knucklehead. We'll raise the prices.

Ain't price gouging illegal?

Are you sure we're related?

Just saying, you sure you want to take advantage of customers like that?

No, we're not taking advantage of the customers.

Taking advantage of the market conditions, which dictates the price points.

In this case, determined by the heat wave, which I might point out is a cosmic event.

Are you saying the universe wants us to overcharge people?

It's the natural order of things, bruh.

You can't do that.

That's taking advantage of your customers.

Bro, you don't like it, you can move along.

In that case, you take credit cards?

Sure do.

Not too shabby.

Very nice.

Maybe there's no insurance money, but this woman definitely has money somehow.

Danny.

Is it cool in here?

Yes, it is.

The AC works.

What was she so worked up about?

Danny.

Yeah. I got a print.

I got something, too.

What?

What are you doing in there? Something in there?

No, but there was.

Judging by the dust pattern, it was removed very recently.

Insurance money.

Maybe.

All right. Let's see if this print can help identify our fake Tracy Benson.

Okay, our perp's real name is Allison Ross.

She was part of a crew that were hitting banks in Texas and Oklahoma three years ago.

Look at this.


These guys are pros.

Yeah, but according to this report, their luck eventually ran out.

One of their robberies went sideways when they k*lled a security guard.

Now, the whole crew got wrapped up and eventually arrested.

But Ross escaped during a prison transfer along with half a million dollars in cash that was never recovered. Right.

So that explains how she was paying rent.

Well, also it might explain what was in that air duct until this morning.

So, super's wife said that they were servicing the ACs all week.

Someone shows up to the house when Ross isn't home.

Super lets him in.

AC unit guy goes looking through the duct, finds half a million dollars in cash.

And Ross comes home.

Finds her money's missing.

Goes ballistic on the super, almost puts him in a coma.

Now she's on the run again.

All right, so there's a good chance there's an AC repairman out there with a big bag of cash.

Yeah, and we better find him before she does.

Thank you for calling Oahu HVAC Repair.

Please continue to hold, and one of our operators will be with you shortly.

Liar. Liar!

Ten minutes ago he said that.

Service. How may I assist you?

Thank God. Hey, hi.

This is Steve McGarrett with the Five-O Task Force.

Listen, you sent a technician out to a job this morning, 3429 Kapulani Drive.

Who was that?

Look like that job went to Francis Konani.

Great. How do we get in touch with him?

I can give you his number, but he hasn't been answering his phone.

I tried calling because he missed all his other appointments today.

You might take an early retirement, too, if you found half a million in an air vent.

Okay. What about an address for him, please?

Let me look that up.

Funny. You're the second person today that has called here for that information.

Who's the first?

A woman.

I think she said she was his niece.

She's visiting from the mainland and wanted to surprise him.

Do you think it's humanly possible to just run out of sweat?

It was a drunk driver.

What?

My sister.

He ran a red light.

He was speeding and... he hit her directly on the driver's side.

Junes, I'm so sorry.

I feel so stupid.

I-I said I'd be here if you wanted to talk, and now I don't even...

I don't know what to say.

Nah.

You don't have to say anything.

Oh.

Just when I thought I had you figured out, you go and do something like that.

What?

You're mixing sorbet with ice cream.

It's unnatural.

Who does that?

It all ends up in the same stomach.

Besides, you're in no position to lecture.

What are you talking about? I got vanilla.

Exactly.

See? You're playing it safe. I like to live on the edge.

Yeah?

You're kidding.

No, that's great. Thank you.

My car was ditched at the beach.

Somebody called it in.

See? You got your car back and you got ice cream.

I-I call that a win-win, right?

Yeah, well, let's see what condition it's in.

If he used it as a toilet, you're paying to get it detailed.

Fair enough.

Ooh.

All right, keep it together, baby boy.

Keep it together.

Now, you let this miserable game torment you your whole life.

But today, today is the day that all ends.

All I got to do is sink you one more time, and that's 72.

That's par.

Line it up. Here we go.

Come on.

Get in there, get in there, get in there!

Yes, sir! That's what I'm talking about!

That's what I'm talking about! Yes!

You see that, Gary?

Hell no!

Come on, now.

Wakey-wakey.

Wakey-wakey-wakey.

Wakey-wake.

Wake your ass up.

Now...

Now, I just sank a 30-foot putt.

Six feet of break from right to left.

You saw that, right?

Wait, wait. Just one thing.

Before you say anything else, remember... my bragging rights, plus the extremely generous tip that I will give you, all hinge on the next words that come out of your mouth.

So... what do you say?

Uh, uh...

"That was great, Mr. Grover.

"I saw the whole thing.

"Right to left, six feet.

That was amazing."

Good. That's good.

That's good.

That's the bike Allison stole.

Still here.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

The power went out a few hours ago.

The stairs are that way.

Let me guess, he's on the top floor?

At least you're hydrated.

Danny! Danny!

Clear.

Mr. Konani, can you hear me?

Is he alive?

Barely.

Where's the woman who did this to you?

She's gone.

Gone.

Get an ambulance.

Ambulance is on the way.

Okay. He said she's been gone for a couple hours.

That motorcycle's still downstairs.

Maybe she stole a car, huh?

Danny, unless she's still in this building.

Right. The lady said the power's out.

Elevator.

No power. No air.

That box has got to be hot as an oven.

♪ Singing don't worry ♪

♪ About a thing ♪ Okay, I got it cleared out.

Good. Let's get her inside.

♪ 'Cause every little thing ♪

♪ Is gonna be all right ♪

♪ Don't worry ♪

♪ About a thing ♪

♪ 'Cause every little thing ♪

♪ Is gonna be all right ♪

♪ Rise up this morning ♪

♪ Smiled with the rising sun ♪

♪ Three little birds ♪

♪ On my doorstep ♪

♪ Singing sweet songs ♪

♪ Of melodies pure and true ♪

♪ Singing, this is my message to you ♪

♪ This is my message to you. ♪ What happened?

Got victimized by an angry mob.

I guess the heat make people do crazy things.

Yeah, yeah. Or, uh, I overheard that you tripled your prices.

Yeah, I tell you what else is crazy.

It's crazy you didn't see this coming.

You being the Oracle of Oahu and all.

I tried to warn him.

But he kept going on about "market forces."

Well, it looks like the market forces kind of turned against you today.

That's what you get for price gouging, Kamekona.

What's good, fellas?

How's everybody enjoying all this beautiful Hawaiian weather?

No.

What's wrong, baby?

Well, a lot of things, but right now, your happiness in this heat is making me upset for some reason.

What's wrong? You've been drinking some of Kamekona's ice-cold hater-Ade?

You'd be smiling, too, if you did what I just did.

Well, I just came from the golf course, where I sh*t the game of my life: seventy-two.

You know what that means, right?

Means I sh*t par.

Par.

Lou, I've seen you play golf, remember that?

Four years ago, you dropped a lucky 75-foot putt, and you're still talking about it.

Figured you'd have something smart to say.

I got something... Yo, my man!

Yeah.

Hey, where did you get that ice from?

Uh, they, uh, had a two-for-one offer at the stand back there.

Here you go, sir.

Thank you, my boy.

Gentlemen, this here's Gary.

Gary and I go back... what, about 18 holes?

Our friendship is deep.

Gary's also my personal caddy.

So if you have any doubt to the veracity of my score card, why don't you direct your cynical, silly questions at my man here.

What happened to your face, Gary?

You have the right to remain silent.

Now, please tell these gentlemen about what you saw today when you witnessed the king of swing, and leave no detail out.

Okay. Uh, so, first...

Oh, oh, wait a second.

I'm sorry. Um, TANI and Junior, where they at?

They're gonna be a while.

Yeah, last we heard, they had car trouble.

Perfect. You can hear it twice.

Out. Now.

I'm really sorry, okay?

I shouldn't have done that. I was desperate.

What, you never heard of a taxi?

Not for the wheels, for the AC.

You stole my car for the air conditioning?

First off, I didn't know you guys were cops.

Also, technically, I didn't steal anything.

Stealing is defined as intent to deprive someone permanently of their property.

I just wanted to borrow it for a little while.

Now I returned it.

So we good?

Get in.

Air conditioning.

Never heard that one before.

Hey, uh, you know, since we got it back safely, I think we can forget the whole, you know, forgetting the keys in the cup holder thing, right?

Oh, you mean, you don't want me to make fun of you about it every day for the rest of your life?

'Cause that's happening.

No.

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, he left the AC on the whole time.

He must have totally drained the battery.

Back out into the heat then.

We're gonna have to tow the car.

Well, I have an idea of what we can do while we wait.

What?

Hey, tsunami warning! Bring it.

Okay. Let's go.

Feels so good.

Yeah, feels so good.

♪ I'm singin' in the rain ♪

♪ Just singin' in the rain ♪

♪ What a glorious feeling ♪

♪ I'm happy again ♪

♪ I'm laughin' at clouds ♪

♪ So dark up above ♪

♪ The sun's in my heart ♪

♪ And I'm ready for love ♪

♪ Let the stormy clouds chase ♪

♪ Everyone from the place ♪

♪ Come on with the rain ♪

♪ I've a smile on my face ♪

♪ I walk down the lane ♪

♪ With a happy refrain ♪

♪ Just singin', singin' in the rain. ♪
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