[tick, alarm ringing]
[Content sigh]
[Squeals]
[Alarm stops]
[Sighs]
The slumber party girls: ♪ hey, hey ♪
♪ it's about to go down ♪
♪ hey, hey ♪
♪ we're about to get down ♪
♪ hey, hey, it's about to go... ♪ ok, chicas, ready?
All three: Let's do it.
Ok, on 3. 1...
2... 3.
♪ We're about to get down ♪
♪ summer's gone, so get back to school ♪
♪ no more playin', follow the rules... ♪ first day has arrived.
Ready to be ready?
[Sighs] Man, the skirt I bought is at my mom's house.
I thought you were at your mom's house.
No, it's Monday. I'm at my dad's house.
Joint custody. What can I say?
Has anyone seen my turquoise shirt?
Oops. You left it here by mistake.
Do you mind if I wear?
Oh. Of course.
Ok, turquoise thermal, t*nk, and...
Stripy warmers.
Super cute.
k*ller plunge, shorties, and leopard kicks. Ha ha.
Plaid skirt, lame sweater.
Jade...
What? You know my parents.
Just till I get out of the house.
And then...
And then I'm gonna blow all y'all away.
♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ ooh, LA LA LA LA ♪
♪ hey, hey ♪
♪ ooh, LA LA... ♪ I guess none of you wanna know what I'm wearing.
All three: Shoes to die for.
Lucky guess.
Ok, 40 minutes, front entrance, we walk in together. Adios.
Sayonara.
Do svidonya.
Ciao, my sisters.
[Mariachi music playing]
Boy: Ooh, que lindo, mi spikes.
Me encanta. Ai, mi dios, mío.
¡Manny, andale!
Es El primer dia del escuela.
You have 10 seconds to get out of there, you little toad.
Don't get your bragas in a twist.
Perfection takes time, and I'm worth every single second.
Enough with the hair already.
[Beep]
[Shoes squeak]
[Click, click]
Looking good, chica.
Yasmin, you will pay for this!
En esta punto-- whoa! ¿qué pasó?
Bubbie, bubbie, bubbie!
Good morning, bubbie.
Come on, niños.
Get dressed. You don't wanna be late.
Ay yi yi. Go comb your hair.
[Groans]
You--you come with me.
I got something for you.
Yasmin: Buenos dias.
Hey.
I want you to go get dressed and put these on.
[Gasps] Bubbie!
Ahh! That's so awesome!
Ooh. Shh. I know.
So, come on. Pay up.
[Gasps] Chocolate.
How do you do that?
I'm not telling.
Nice doing business with you.
[Click, clack]
[Click, clack]
Uhh. Ohh.
[Click]
[Clack]
Come on!
Dad. This is why-- what would I do without you?
[Doorbell]
[Sighs]
It's probably your mom.
I'll get it.
Tell her that she's gotta take you to the dentist on Thursday.
Hi, mom. Hi.
Did your dad give you breakfast?
I'll be ready in a minute, 'k?
Ok, beautiful. Oh. Hey, honey, could you tell your dad he needs to take you to the dentist on Thursday?
Why can't the two of you just talk to each other?
I'm the kid.
You're supposed to be the adults.
By the way...
Dentist is on Friday.
Bye, mom. Bye, dad.
Ai-yah! Ai-yah! Ai-yah!
Jade. Jade. Jade. Jade.
Let me look at you before you go.
Now, remember, jade, you have mathletes, science club, kumon, and violin.
Mom... Mm-hmm?
You forgot something. I did?
School! And speaking of which, I gotta go.
Ai-yah! [Speaking cantonese]
Bàabaa. Bàabaa.
Good picture.
[Students snicker]
Hey, what's up, ladies?
Mom.
[Boy laughs]
Perfect. Have fun.
Fine.
Sean Stewart: ♪ livin' the life of the in crowd ♪
[sighs]
♪ Parties and parties, and everyone watchin' me ♪
♪ can't let it get to me ♪
♪ livin' the life of the in crowd ♪
♪ 'cause then my days are still running away ♪
♪ numbing myself from all the pressure ♪
♪ high society ♪ whoo!
♪ Born into fame in Hollywood ♪ cheerleaders: ♪ c-a-double r-y ♪
♪ great connections, with no direction ♪
♪ still misunderstood ♪
♪ this is the life, this is the life... ♪ where's cloe?
Ooh.
Ohh!
[Groans]
She's here.
Hi, guys. Hey, girl.
[All chuckle]
Ok, it's a big school.
It's the first day. We're just freshmen.
What are we gonna do?
[Gasps] Blend?
Own it.
Right. Mm-hmm.
B-f-fs! Whoo!
Uh, guys.
Hello.
Rehuddle.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna own cheerleading.
I'm gonna try out for soccer.
Yas, you have to join chorus.
You know you have the most insane voice ever.
Not a chance. Remember kindergarten?
Me, Mary had a little lamb, throw up, 30 kids screaming.
Yeah, I think I'll own journalism instead.
Jade: I'm ownin' the science.
[Record needle scratches]
Ok, work the IQ, girl, but please don't lose your passion for fashion.
Just to keep mom and dad off my back.
I'm also gonna rule home ec.
I'm gonna need sewing machines for projects.
I'm gonna have the hottest clothes ever.
[Zipper] Break.
Black Eyed Peas: ♪ express yourself ♪
♪ girl, let it all hang out ♪
♪ just do your thang ♪
♪ ain't nothin' to worry about ♪
♪ you got to ♪
♪ express yourself ♪
♪ girl, let it all hang out ♪
♪ just do your thang ♪
♪ ain't nothin' to worry about ♪
♪ don't you know that you real thing? ♪ wow.
Ok, girl.
Now let's do it.
♪ The real thing ♪
♪ do what you want ♪
♪ wa-wa-wa-wa-want ♪
♪ sexy thing ♪
♪ you the real thing ♪
♪ do what you want... ♪ now, being president of the school is a huge responsibility, and it is one that I take very seriously.
Hi. Just sit here, Paris.
[Panting]
Hello. [Giggles]
Dylan, dude, that was a totally--
Avery, Quinn...
Please pay attention.
I need you to become very familiar with the clique lunch table assignment charts, because as you can see, there are 48 distinct cliques.
Let me break this down for you.
You have the goths, the skaters, the, uh, disco dorks, the b-boy blingers, the gangsters, the wannabe gangsters.
The pretzel people who are into yoga-- very different from the greenies who hate anything not made of plants.
Then you have the nerds, the kids who like to dress like dinosaurs, and, um, the football jocks.
Oh, hi, little freshman.
I'm Meredith. So, any clubs?
Nope.
Interests? Nope.
Friends? Nope?
Ok. Loner.
Yeah.
Over there.
I don't get the loners.
They're loners, but they like to hang out together.
Leave me alone.
Whatever. Next.
I really believe very strongly in renewable energy.
Eco-maniac.
Very good, Cameron.
Tree hugger.
Now, if you sit at this table, you'll find some people who totally rock the paper-versus-plastic debate.
Next!
Good morning, principal dimly.
Oh, morning, students.
Uh, pumpkin pie.
All three: Good morning, principal dimly.
Yes, daddy? What is it?
You were right.
"Chapter 10. Control the population.
Uh, "a--separate the inmates into groups."
You see, this was your idea, advanced thinking, genius.
Ok, daddy, I have told you this more than 50 times.
You may not speak to me during school hours.
Well, dear, I mean, everyone knows you're my daughter, and I'm very proud of you.
Do you want me to tell mother about this?
Ahh.
Oh, no. No, no.
Well, I'm busy now, daddy.
Bye.
I'll see you at home, uh, then, uh, candy cane.
Next.
Ok, honey, [Sobbing]
This is a really nice table, and I promise it will always be the same table, because I understand that change is really upsetting.
[Blows nose]
[No audible dialogue]
Oh, no, they did not just walk past us without checking in.
Who is that?
No one you even need to think about, Cameron.
They look kind of cool.
Yeah, in a totally trashy, beneath our contempt, you know, maybe we could find a little spare time to crush them into the dirt sort of way.
Yeah.
No, Avery. We don't crush.
We focus on the positive here at carry nation high.
We help them find their way.
Or else.
Yeah! Yeah!
♪ R-y, you try b*ating carry nation high ♪ whoo!
[Disco music playing]
[Playing electric guitar]
All: Whoa.
Is it just me, or does this all look a little...
Creepily well organized?
[School bell rings]
See you at lunch.
See you later.
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ oh, oh oh oh ♪ excuse me, miss.
Are you in the right room?
Yeah.
A little magnesium, some sodium salt, a pinch of perchlorate, a soupcon of strontium nitrate, and a little bling. Boo-yah!
And...
Wha-bam!
A bernoulli effect.
You are seriously superior.
We would be honored to have you as a member of our science team.
Yeah, thanks for the accolades.
Huh.
♪ Everybody yell, "let's go, falcons" ♪
♪ let's go, falcons ♪ last time!
♪ Everybody yell, "let's go, falcons" ♪
♪ let's go, falcons ♪ now, that's the level I expect from a falcon cheerleader.
Who's got it?
Please.
You got something better?
Oh, you know I do.
So bring it.
Girl, I brought it, nailed it, lent it to my friend's kid sister, and I brought it back while you were still figuring out the b*at.
[Take it to the maximum playing]
Prima j: ♪ you got that heat? ♪
♪ yeah, I got the heat ♪
♪ let's take it to the maximum ♪
♪ take it to the maximum ♪
♪ I could take it from ya ♪
♪ oh, you're done now ♪
♪ come on, drop it on me ♪
♪ come on, put it on me ♪
♪ turn it up, turn it up ♪
♪ come on, come on ♪
♪ ooh, ooh, now what you gonna do? ♪
♪ just show and prove me that ♪
♪ you, you can roll with my crew ♪
♪ it's not just you ♪
♪ just to have 2, come on, got 3 ♪
♪ it's not about you ♪
♪ it's about me ♪
♪ if you wanna wear me down ♪
♪ take it to the maximum ♪
♪ take it to the maximum ♪
girl: Here.
Casey, over here!
[Tell me by dropping daylight playing
♪ tell me, what do you know ♪
♪ about moving forward? ♪
♪ tell me something to say ♪
♪ because I'm screaming, screaming ♪
♪ tell me something to make ♪
♪ before I burn these Bridges ♪
♪ why? ♪
♪ I'm not givin' up till I break down ♪
♪ oh, why? ♪ arr!
♪ Why? ♪
♪ not givin' up till I break down ♪
♪ oh, why? ♪
♪ not givin' up till I break down ♪
[slow motion breath]
♪ Tell me, what do you know ♪
♪ about moving forward? ♪
[cheering]
Yeah!
What are you gawking at?
She's hot.
[Scoffs]
Hot player.
Seriously.
♪ How much more can I hate... ♪ not bad for a rookie.
In fact, not bad at all.
Yes!
♪ Break down ♪ Lauren Evans: ♪ now, let's get to it ♪
♪ everybody do it ♪
♪ everybody have some fun ♪
♪ yeah ♪
♪ let's get to it ♪
♪ everybody do it ♪
♪ everywhere and everyone... ♪ it's very red.
It's very you.
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ let's get to it ♪
♪ everybody do it ♪
♪ never gonna ever stop ♪
♪ oh, let's get to it ♪
[pretty in punk by Lauren Evans playing]
♪ Look around ♪
♪ head for the underground ♪
♪ we're at the party spot ♪
♪ let's keep it pretty in punk ♪
♪ pretty in punk ♪
♪ yeah, pretty in punk ♪
[choral vocalizing]
[Playing piano]
You in?
Uhh! Uhh!
Ohh. Why don't you watch where you're going?
Are you blind?
Hello.
[No audio]
No, but I'm deaf.
What?
I'm deaf.
You don't sound deaf.
Well, you don't look ignorant, but I guess you can't judge a book, right?
Um, where do they think they're gonna sit?
Give me the seating charts.
[Squeak]
Hi, guys. I'm Meredith, student body president.
I saw you looking kind of lost, so I thought it'd come over and help.
Oh, thanks, but I think we're good.
Oh, pfft. It's no problem.
I have the seating charts right here.
Well, thanks, but I think we'd rather sit together.
But, um, there's really not a table for that.
Oh, that's ok.
I'm sure we'll find space somewhere.
But the lunch courtyard isn't organized that way.
Oh, don't worry. We'll figure something out.
What was that about?
'K.
It's gonna be the best, you guys.
Right.
What are you looking at?
They're just awesome.
[Scoffs]
Ful. Um, awful.
[Scoffs] Their clothes, yuck, really super awful...
To look at.
Really.
Yeah. I know.
What are we gonna do about them, you guys?
I'll tell you what we're gonna do. Nothing.
Quinn, my system is flawless.
Boy: Hey! Hey, jade!
Look.
Come here. Check out this radical theorem.
You'll absolutely dig it.
Later. Bye.
Hey, Sasha! Come sit with us!
I gotta go. Bye, guys.
Bye, Sasha.
Yo, cloe. Girl, come check this out.
Oh, my God.
Oh. Bye.
[Cheering]
Yes. Yes.
Break in the year with new uniforms.
[Soccer team cheers]
You see?
We have no problems at all.
[Giggles]
Jade, I'm stuck baby-sitting.
Come over and hang?
Bubbie made your favorite, matzo albondigas.
I have mathletes. Next week?
I'm booked solid. Yikes.
Next week? [Groans]
I have journalism. How 'bout tomorrow?
We have to make time for each other.
Want to come over and study?
Let's do it next week. For sure.
You said that the last time.
Seriously miss you guys.
What's happening here?
You're always busy!
Please, call me!
I have not changed!
You've changed!
You guys.
This is ridiculous.
[All talking, music playing]
What about us?
Whatever.
I'm out. Bye.
[Doorbell] Hey, Sasha.
Yasmin. Hey, girl, long time no see.
What are you doing here?
We were supposed to go shopping together.
Remember?
♪ Go, falcons ♪ oh. Uh...
No worries. Heh.
Oh. My bad, yas. I'm sorry. I...
I've got practice with the girls.
Can we do it next week?
Oh. Sure.
Yeah, I-- you're the best.
We'll do it next week, ok?
For sure. I'll call you.
Ok. Call me. Bye.
[My life by the slumber party girls playing]
♪ I won't be late to school ♪
♪ it's 'cause I really care about it ♪
♪ I will play by the rules ♪
♪ won't be a prima Donna ♪
♪ I'm just a girl who likes to have a little fun ♪
♪ don't try to stop me, no, it can't be done ♪
♪ it's my life ♪ ahh! You ruined my hair.
Hey, you can take the bus.
Yo, listen up. That bus is weak.
It's cramped up with freaks, and I have no time to show my hair mystique.
Whoo. Word.
Weird.
Hi, alli.
Bethany.
Dexter.
Hey, girls.
Hi. How you doin'?
Ashlee Simpson: ♪ go ahead, walk on by... ♪ hey, jade. Dexter.
Lookin' sharp for the assembly.
Here. Let me fix this.
♪ Maybe one day, you'll find... ♪ hey, what's up, ladies?
[Giggles]
♪ You don't know me ♪ cloe: Hey, guys.
♪ You're the one who walked right through me ♪
♪ and now you're sayin' that you knew me ♪
♪ when I was ♪
♪ invisible ♪
[beep]
♪ Little things adding up ♪
♪ try so hard not to rush ♪
♪ giving in, letting go ♪
♪ of the world we know ♪
♪ you're the one who looked right through me ♪
♪ and now you're sayin' that you knew me ♪
♪ when I was invisible... ♪ all right, you can sit down now.
Let's sit down.
Well, well, well.
Welcome back to another wonderful year at, uh, carry nation high school.
And now without further ado, I'm going to introduce to you your very popular president of the student body, my little polliwog, my daughter--heh.
Meredith Baxter dimly.
[Applause]
Good morning.
I am so thrilled to be here as your student body president once again.
[Applause]
I am here to talk about...
The talent show, which I will be heading up again, and the fact that besides the coveted golden hatchet, our wonderful arts committee is providing a spectacular grand prize this semester, a college scholarship to the school of your choice.
Isn't that amazing?
So you can post your auditions on MySpace...
Joanna: ♪ in my eye ♪
♪ I see it, oh, so clear ♪
♪ it was long ago and far away ♪
♪ but it never disappeared ♪
♪ I try to put it in the past ♪
♪ hold on to myself and don't look back ♪
♪ I don't wanna dream about ♪ hey.
♪ All the things that never were... ♪ hi.
Oh, good gloss.
Peach party.
Yeah, I just got it. You like it?
Gorgeous. I love it.
I know. Heh.
Ah heh. Ah heh. Yeah.
Yeah. Um...
Great gloss.
Yeah. It's so shiny.
Yes, very...
Yeah.
Shiny.
Yeah. So, um--
I actually have to get to class.
Oh, yeah. Of course. Well, uh, have a-- have a good class.
Thanks. Yeah. Okey-dokey.
Back at ya.
See ya.
♪ Cross the line ♪
♪ it's like a lie I've told a thousand times ♪
♪ I don't wanna dream about ♪ I miss you.
♪ All the things that never were ♪
♪ maybe I can live without ♪
♪ when I'm out from under ♪ wow, Meredith.
Starting a new trend at school?
Hmm. How's frump chic?
It suits you.
Seriously, cherish, I told you you may not speak to me before noon.
Is that so I don't have to smell your morning breath?
Or is that the dog's?
Did you make your appointment with extreme face makeover yet?
Voila.
Now you are fido fabulous.
Now we are both true fashion icons, aren't we, Paris?
Yeah, fetching. [Laughs]
Get it? Dog.
Fetching. A dog fetches.
[Sighs] These are the jokes, people.
[Scoffs]
[Playing piano]
[Banging notes]
Dylan, you've been holdin' out on me.
Huh?
All this time, I thought you were just some cool jock.
Dylan. Dylan.
Dylan, what's up?
Nothin'.
I miss it.
I miss music.
I feel you, but you don't have to.
What are you talkin' about? I can't hear.
Come on.
[Playing piano]
Feel that?
Yeah, but...
Doesn't mean that I can play it.
True. Come here.
[Hip-hop backbeat playing]
[Scratching]
Eh? Try it.
♪ Free love ♪
♪ just let it move ya ♪
know somethin', Whitman?
You're a weird dude.
But you're ok. You know that?
You wanna learn a few tricks?
Yeah. Yeah?
[Scratching]
♪ Free love ♪ I can feel that on my neck.
So what are you gonna do for the talent show this year, Meredith?
[Scoffs] It doesn't matter. You know she's gonna win.
Just because I am going to win doesn't mean that I don't owe all of my fans a really cool show.
That's true.
Hey, what do you think?
Juggling? Please.
That is so not talent-show-ready.
[Girls chuckle]
[On the beautiful blue danube by johann Strauss playing]
[Exhales]
[Paris growls]
Uh...
Hi.
Who, me?
Yeah.
Ok, Paris, we're a team, and mommy needs your help.
I need you to go over there.
Yes, I do.
And I need you to make sure that Cameron stops talking to the evil soccer freak.
[Arf arf]
Ok? Ok?
[Kiss] Thank you.
Wow, um, hi. I...
Ooh. Ah, I'm--I'm cloe.
Uh, I'm Cameron.
Yeah, I know.
What classes are you in?
Classes? Uh...
You know, stuff.
Fun-- whoa. Aah!
[Slow motion gasp]
Cloe!
You are the biggest klutz ever!
You always ruin everyth--whoo!
Aah!
Oh, no.
Cloe!
[Gasps] Ahh!
Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry.
Oh, no, you didn't.
Jade, you totally did that on purpose!
Whoa!
Ooh!
Unh. Uhh!
Aah! Unh!
[Gasps] Oh, my gosh!
My hair!
Sasha, you stupid...
Cheerleader!
You did not just say that.
Keep talking. Someday, you'll say something intelligent.
Aah!
You know what?
You're not as bad as people say you are.
You're worse!
[Gasps]
Ohh.
Boy: Food fight!
[On the beautiful blue danube by johann Strauss playing]
Yasmin, you--unh!
Cloe, this is all your fault!
Get down here!
Boy: Stop it!
Girl: There's food in my face!
Girl: Oh, my gosh. That's so wet.
Second girl: Stop!
Take that!
Oh, my gosh.
Uhh!
No, jade! Ohh!
No.
Oh, my gosh.
Here. You want some of this?
Enough already! Uhh.
[Gasping]
[Stone grinding]
[Slow motion gasps]
Oh, my gosh.
[All scream]
Man: Hey, make a hole. Principal dimly comin' through.
Move it.
Principal dimly's coming through.
Uh-oh.
Oh, hi, daddy.
Looky.
I want to know who did this, or I'm going to--
[whispering] Pass this over to vice principal sludge.
I'm going to pass this over to vice principal sludge.
Rollo, you take over.
It's the 4 girls lying next to the statue. Hello.
Rollo: You, you, you, and you, detention.
You started it, clumsy.
I tripped. Excuse me, princess perfect.
That is so like you.
You've always been the queen of denial.
Do you know what?
Neither one of you ever thinks anything through.
It's always me having to pick up the pieces.
That's interesting. We haven't talked in 2 years, ever since you dumped us to be queen of the dorks.
Me? You haven't spoken to any of us since you went all cheerleader.
[Mocking] "I'm not a snob.
I'm just better than you are. Yeah."
I didn't stop talkin' to you. You stopped talkin' to me.
Really?
What are you talking about, Sasha?
At least we don't buy our friends with our daddy's bank account.
Only because you don't have a dad or a bank account.
Stop it!
All of you, just stop it.
I can't believe you said that to cloe.
That's ok.
No, it's not.
When your parents got divorced, cloe and her mom were totally there for you. Don't forget that, Sasha.
Cloe, I'm sorry.
I can't believe I said that.
What happened to us?
It's ok. We were a team.
We always had each others' backs.
Seriously, like when you canceled your ski trip to help cloe study for finals.
That's what friends do.
And what about you, yas?
Remember you completely crushed those girls that used to slam jade before she grew into her ears.
Well, she would have done the same for me.
Big deal.
It is a big deal.
Friendship is a big deal.
Why aren't we friends anymore?
I can't even remember.
It's the cliques. We're all in them.
That's just how high school works.
Sasha, you're a cheerleader, cloe's a jock, and, jade, you spend your time between the science and home ec geeks.
They're not geeks.
They're really interesting people.
Yeah, but I would never know that, because I'm not in your clique.
So what do we do?
We have to take control of our lives, of our friendships.
It's our own fault.
We can be friends with each other and do our own thing, right?
Ok.
How?
We be ourselves, just like we used to be.
I miss my girls.
Me, too.
I didn't realize how much until now.
B.F.F.S?
All three: B.F.F.S.
Aww. [Squeals]
Eww. Ohh! You smell like pasta.
So do you.
I can't believe them.
This is all your fault, Cameron, because if you hadn't walked over and talked to that soccer joke, I wouldn't have had to take action, and then daddy's bust would not have been broken, and those bimbettes wouldn't be in detention and back together, creating anarchy in my kingdom.
Thanks a lot.
Well, if all else fails, I always have this.
[Gasps] Quinn: Meredith!
Um, I don't think this, you know, calls for the jump drive, Meredith. Really.
Yeah, maybe everything will back to normal by tomorrow.
Yeah.
[Mocking] Yeah, maybe everything will be back to normal by tomorrow.
Moron. [Scoffs]
Let's go. [Scoffs]
I can't stand to look at this.
♪ Porque le falta ♪
♪ porque le falta ♪
♪ Las patitas de atrás ♪
♪ LA cucaracha, LA cucaracha ♪
♪ ya no puede caminar ♪
♪ porque LA falta ♪
♪ porque LA falta ♪
♪ Las patitas de atrás ♪
♪ LA cucaracha, LA cucaracha ♪
♪ ya no puede caminar ♪
♪ porque LA falta ♪
♪ porque LA falta ♪
♪ Las patitas de atrás ♪ aah! Ha ha ha!
Ohh.
Oh, God.
Whoo hoo.
[Sighs] So tell me, chica, why so happy?
Is there a boy?
Come on. You've been holding out on me.
There's no boy, bubbie.
It's Sasha, jade, and cloe.
We're a team again.
I mean, everyone at school is only friends with the people in their group, but we've decided to be friends with everyone.
Well, you girls are doing the right thing.
You walk into school.
You socialize with each other, with everyone.
You walk in with your heads held high, and you walk in with these gorgeous new shoes.
Son divinos. [Gasps]
Hola. Who's your bubbie?
Hola. You are.
Bubbie, they're gorgeous.
I love them.
Ah-ah-ah.
Sweet talk is cheap.
Pay the lettuce.
Mmm. Heh heh.
Ah.
Ahh. Dos chocolates.
How do you do that?
Te amo, bubbie. [Chuckles]
Sasha: Mmm. I love the smell of retail in the morning.
Heh. That's my Sasha.
Gosh, guys, I've missed you so much.
2 years? That's like forever.
So what's the latest and greatest?
Same old same old. Just wish my parents could see who I really am.
The worst.
You know, it's not that bad.
It just means I spend a lot of time changing clothes in skeevy bathrooms.
That's so weird.
Fashion's like your superpower.
You shouldn't have to hide it.
Please, that's like the textbook definition of superpower.
It's the thing in your life that you're really amazing at, but you hide from the world so people will think you're normal.
And you, yas?
I started writing some music, [gasps] And, yes, it's sounding pretty good, and, no, you can't hear it.
Cloe: Stage fright?
Yeah. But, Sasha, I mean, it's really been about missing you guys.
Speaking of guys, whoa.
Woof!
Sasha: I know. Right? Yep.
Look who's walkin' by, sportin' some bad jeans, and lookin' fine.
[Girls giggle and squeal]
Oh, my gosh.
He totally just checked you out.
Did you see that? He's into you.
What, Dylan? Are you kidding me?
He hates me.
Besides, he is totally not my type.
Oh, you have a type?
[Laughter] Come on, guys.
Dylan is not the least bit interested in me.
O.M.G. It's so obvious.
Ok, you are so wrong.
He never looks me in the eye, he's never asked me out, and he can never even remember my name.
Hmm.
Oh, my God.
He's crazy about me.
[Laughs]
Promise we'll never let anything break us up ever again.
Pinky swear.
Pinky swear. Pinky swear.
All: Aww.
[School bell rings]
♪ I'm gonna shine ♪
♪ shine, shine, shine ♪ wow.
I love MySpace.
Nlt: ♪ I'm tellin' you she's... ♪
♪ the way she moves her body ♪
♪ she's hot ♪
♪ the way she shakes her body ♪
♪ she's h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h ♪
♪ ooh, she's heartburn ♪
♪ she's burnin' my heart ♪
♪ and I can't take no more for real ♪
♪ she's burnin' my heart ♪
♪ and I can't take-- ♪ yeah.
Not so much. Next!
Hello. I am magnificent Mike.
Watch as I place my assistant into the sword box of death.
Prepare to be amazed.
Assistant: Aah!
Ohh! Ow!
Ooh. Great.
You're in.
Prima j: ♪ it's just one on one ♪
♪ you and me, come on, baby ♪
♪ let's just kick it ♪
♪ ah ha, ah ha ♪
♪ kick it ♪
♪ ah ha, ah ha ♪ thank you very much. Next!
[Playing violin]
If I see one more violin-playing contortionist, I am going to scream.
Next!
I think we're making this too complicated.
I mean, if we wanna be friends, we should just be friends.
I totally agree.
I mean, we walk into school, and we lead by example. Come on.
Hey, hey.
Yo, cloe, come chill with us.
You seein' this?
What's up?
Oh, hey, jade.
Come here. Check this out.
I'm...
Hey, Sasha!
Come sit with us.
I can't.
Wh-why doesn't she want to sit with us?
Are people staring?
Oh, yeah.
[Laughs]
Super awkward.
Ok, this is weird.
I think it's time for plan "b."
Operation mingle.
Prima j: ♪ every day ♪
♪ what, what ♪ beautiful.
Wait. ♪ it's my party ♪
♪ hey ♪
♪ it's my party, party ♪
♪ it's my party, party ♪
♪ throw your hands up... ♪ perfection.
♪ Hey ♪
♪ it's my party, party... ♪ right. No, straighten your legs.
Ok, good.
See, don't you have, like, any fancy pair of sneakers in your yasmin collection?
I mean, anything under 6 inches?
I just want to stay vertical!
Um, come on. Stay vertical?
Honey, when I'm through with you, you will be playing your next soccer game in stilettos.
You're serious? Trust me.
Hey, Dexter.
Salutations, jade.
Hey, nerd, why is she talkin' to you?
Jade? She's my lab partner.
Hey, hottie.
I bet you and I could do a lab experiment without the bunsen burner. You feelin' me?
Uhh.
I think it behooves you to extend an apology to the lady.
I don't know what you just said, but I think you better mind your own business.
You gonna cry? Ohh.
[Imitates crying]
Daah!
Yaah!
Raah.
Jibbs: ♪ go, go, go ♪
♪ got the knack, take it low ♪
♪ spinning all around, take it slow ♪
♪ this is go go... ♪ now, would you like to apologize to the lady?
Sorry, jade.
Dude, you ever think about playing football?
Ok, so "x" plus "y" plus "z" divided by 3 is...
[All muttering]
Ok.
Oh, oh! Let's try this.
I think this might make more sense.
Aw, yeah.
What's a touchdown...
Uh, 6.
Plus an extra point...
One.
Plus a safety...
2.
Divided by a field goal?
3.
It's good.
Yeah!
Who's number one?! Who's number one?!
[All talking]
[Players cheering]
Cameron: k*ller rip.
Oh. Thanks.
But, uh, I think with a little adjustment, it'd be a whole lot better.
Power comes from your core, like this. See?
All right?
All right.
Let's have one.
You may want to move, just in case.
I'm good.
Ok.
Ooh!
Ahh. Oh, no.
I'm such a klutz!
[Groaning]
Are you ok?
Heh heh. No worries.
Uh, should we try it again?
Ohm.
Ohm.
Ohm.
Ohm.
Oh, my God, cherish.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Take me to the happy place.
Take me to the happy place.
Hurry.
Can't you find somewhere else to be a freak?
[Scoffs] So embarrassing.
I'm busy now.
Can I ignore you some other time?
Didn't you hear, munchkin?
Everyone does what I tell them to do.
Not from what I hear.
[Scoffs] Ouch.
[Laughs] Oh, whatever, Avery.
[Click, whir]
This is just a temporary loss of control.
I can assure you I will bring order back to our school.
[Arf]
Now, girls, think.
When was I at the height of my popularity?
Last week?
Uh, last year's talent show?
Ooh, ooh! I know this one.
Yes, Quinn?
Your super sweet 16.
She's totally right.
That was like the most amazing party ever.
Remember everyone was, like, sucking up to you for weeks before just to get an invitation.
Well, then, it's settled.
I'm throwing another super sweet 16 party.
Um, but you're already 16.
I'm throwing another super sweet 16.
[Gasps] In fact, I'll have mtv tape the whole thing.
My mom is best friends with the producers.
[Chuckles] Why is she throwing another sweet 16?
I'm not really sure exactly.
I'm going to use the invitations to bring organization and harmony back to our school.
Oh, I get it.
Man: Cherish...
No cliquey, no tickey.
You have a visitor.
And we'll crush those snotty girls forever.
And then we'll live happily ever after. Brilliant.
Yo, cherish, you left your shoes at ballet class.
[Laughs]
Hey, it's a total chick farm.
Athletic, and yet very hot.
Me likey.
Me thinky you're a twerp.
So what do you think of my hair today?
I did this side just for you.
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Ooh, I like 'em feisty.
Um, isn't that yasmin's little brother?
Yeah. What's he doing here?
Hey, lookin' good, mamitas.
Ugh. Ok, that is truly gross.
Oh, my God. You have the most incredible hair ever.
I know, right?
I'm goin' out for best hair this year.
No doubt. Anyway, why don't you, uh, come over here and tell me all about yourself?
Are you kidding me?
Ok. Here. Keep this dry.
So, your sister yasmin, she is so sweet.
I mean, what's it like having such a perfect sister?
Yeah, what's it like?
Perfect? Ha ha!
Have you actually met her?
[Giggles]
You're so funny.
I mean, she's just so good at everything, right?
You think so?
Check this out.
It's truly fantastic.
[Beep, beep]
♪ ...le falta ♪
♪ Las patitas de atrás ♪
♪ LA cucaracha, LA cucaracha ♪ wow. She is precious.
I just have to have this for my collection.
Do you think you could transfer it to this?
[Gasps]
[Whimpers]
Yeah, sure.
[Beep] [Chuckles]
Ecch.
[Arf]
Avery: Meredith's mtv my super sweet 16.
Yeah, it's gonna be totally even more incredibly awesome than the last one.
How excited are you?
She already had a sweet 16.
What do you think she's up to?
Does it matter? Hello. It's a party.
This can't be good.
Come on.
Mine.
Yasmin: Oh, my God. How cool is this?
Darling. Love it.
Apparently so.
Come on, girl. Give it up.
Tell us what's wrong.
I'm not going to Meredith's party, ok? What?
I can't afford to buy anything new.
You guys need to go without me. I mean it.
Oh, my God, cloe. Stop it right now, ok?
The only way you can embarrass us is if you don't walk into Meredith's ridiculously extreme extravaganza.
Yeah, and we've been pulled apart for too long. It's not happening again, not for anything, and especially not for Meredith.
But, Sasha, I have nothing to wear.
You do now.
I have 2 guilt certificates, one from my mom and one from my dad.
And now one for you.
Hey, divorce isn't all that bad.
Now, come on, girl.
We got some serious shopping to do. [Kiss]
Alex band: ♪ ...Your life ♪
♪ and it doesn't get better than ♪
♪ doesn't get better than this ♪
♪ right now ♪
♪ right here ♪
♪ you only get one chance to live ♪
♪ your life ♪
♪ and it doesn't get better than this ♪
♪ if you hold on to a dream ♪
♪ find it's closer than it seems ♪
♪ well, this universe is all that you create ♪
♪ all that you create ♪
♪ there's no time to hesitate ♪
♪ it doesn't get better than this ♪
♪ right now ♪
♪ and it doesn't get better than ♪
♪ doesn't get better than this ♪
♪ right now, right here ♪
♪ you only get one chance to live ♪
♪ your life ♪
♪ and it doesn't get better than this ♪ come on! This is all mine!
Aah! Aah!
♪ It doesn't get better than this ♪ the mall hath no fury like a shopper scorned.
Yeah. Good job, girl.
Thank you. I'm proud of you.
[Circus music playing]
Pop your balloons to see if you're invited to my mtv super sweet 16 party.
Now, seating will be organized according to group, so if you don't belong to a group, you really can't come to my party.
So until then...
[Gasps] I'm so excited.
I'll be watching you.
Go ahead. Pop 'em.
[Gasps] Oh, my God. This is so fabulous.
I knew it.
It was too good to be true.
I just don't understand why Meredith is so evil.
I mean, what are we gonna do about her party?
Nothing, ok? We don't go.
If we can't go to the festival of Meredith on our own terms, then trust me, it's not worth it.
Yas, it's gonna be an amazing party.
Yeah, and if we don't go, we could be branded as total losers and outcasts.
But I'm willing to take the risk.
I'm with yasmin. Skip the ego trip.
Yeah. I second that emotion.
But, guys--
Sasha, no.
Ok, I hear you. It's just...
There was this tragic new outfit out here that's just calling my name.
Hey, you know, I'm...
Hanging up and changing my number.
Ohh! Hold me!
Oh, honey. You'll be just fine. Come on.
[No audible dialogue]
No.
[Arf]
I agree.
Absolutely not.
Don't look, Paris.
I'd rather die.
[Arf]
That's the one.
Now show me the love.
I need a little something right here.
Thank you.
I just love me.
Clique girlz: ♪ when I wanna bewitch ♪
♪ she can be strong for a little while ♪
♪ she's my alter ego ♪ I look so hot.
♪ I can be good ♪ high-five.
♪ She can be bad... ♪ ok, keep going.
♪ Open eyes, I can see what's in front of me ♪
♪ open mind, imagining how I will be ♪
♪ open eyes, 'cause today I'm feelin' free ♪
♪ whatever, whenever ♪
♪ gonna make it happen ♪
♪ with o-- ♪ [Applause]
Wow. Your singing's amazing.
[Gasps] Oh, my God. Really?
Yeah, like beyond amazing.
Seriously? Thanks.
But I don't understand.
I mean, you can't, like-- hear?
It's ok. You can say it.
It's cool. I can't hear, but I heard you.
Ok.
I'll bite.
Here. Come here.
Let me show you.
[Feedback] Sing something.
♪ Open eyes ♪ yeah.
♪ I can see what's in front of me ♪ wow. So that's how you heard me?
Well, I didn't exactly hear your voice.
I felt your voice.
And it felt amazing.
Awesome.
Yeah, you are.
You have a serious gift.
You did sign up for the talent show, didn't you?
'Cause you're definitely winning.
Thanks, but no, thanks.
I can't sing in front of people.
I literally get ill.
It's not pretty.
You know what?
I can't hear, but I learned to spin.
[Hip-hop backbeat playing]
[Spinning]
You can do it if you really want to.
Seriously, it'd be a crime to keep that voice inside yourself.
What's that mean?
Go for it.
Mom.
Wow.
This must be a major party.
Mom?
Mom, are you ok?
[Gasps] You're burning up.
Oh, I have-- I have to cook the food.
I have to cook the food.
No, mom.
I have to cook the food.
Mom, you can't work. You need to sleep.
Ok, where-- mom. Mom.
Mom. Look at me. What?
You need to sleep.
Ok.
A couple hours.
You promise you'll wake me up.
I promise.
Just get some rest.
Please, mom.
[Sighs]
Girl, are you joking?
It's Saturday morning.
This better be good.
What's wrong?
It's an emergency.
I need your help.
All three: We're there.
So we need to make 150 of each dish.
Uh, cook? You want me to cook?
Girl, I burn water.
Yeah, are you kidding?
'Cause there's definitely no way I can do this. What's this?
Come on, jade. We can do it.
You're a designer.
Just think of it as...
High fashion for food.
Let's do it.
Orianthi: ♪ 'cause I'll be ♪
♪ all right ♪
♪ well, all I need is a sign ♪
♪ it's a long road ♪
♪ but I'm hopin' things will just get better ♪
♪ well, I need to find ♪
♪ put everything on the line ♪ ohh. Aah!
♪ I gotta make a change ♪
♪ it's now or never ♪
[laughs]
♪ I'm movin' at my own pace... ♪ cloe, you didn't wake me up.
It's 5:00. I've got so much...
Girls: Ta-da!
Who did this?
Sasha: We did.
♪ To get to where I'm goin' ♪
♪ there's no time to wait around ♪
♪ all right ♪ this is amazing.
♪ 'Cause I'll be... ♪ you girls are absolute angels.
Aren't we?
It was a breeze.
[Cellphone rings]
What?
Oh, God.
Uh...
Mom, what's wrong?
My servers can't make it.
This is the biggest party of my career.
Where am I gonna get servers in 2 hours?
Uh, we're free.
No, wait, wait, wait.
This is Meredith's sweet 16.
Mom, are you kidding?
I couldn't turn it down, honey. I'm sorry.
No, no, no. I-it's ok.
I understand.
I'm just gonna cancel it.
We're in.
You sure you wanna do it?
What's the worst that could happen?
Why the sad faces?
Clowns are supposed to be happy.
Be happy.
Perfect.
If you guys wanna back out, I'll totally understand.
All right, everyone's out there waiting for food, and gosh darn it, we're gonna serve it.
I just need 5 little minutes and fer.
Girl, I may be wearin' circus clothes and a clown nose, but I draw a line at wearing animals.
Uh, no, not fur.
F-e-r. My fashion emergency raft.
I never leave home without it.
[Whirs]
Well, I got s.M.K.
Sasha's makeup kit.
Holler.
[All laugh]
[Snipping]
Now, that's what I call clown couture. Heh heh.
♪ Ahh ♪ prima j: ♪ tell me what you think you're lookin' at ♪
♪ aah ♪
♪ so I think I'm queen Elizabeth ♪
♪ 'cause I'm a rock star, a rock star ♪
♪ a pretty, little... ♪ giddy-up, jumbo.
♪ Uh-huh ♪ hi, everyone.
Hi, mtv. It's Meredith.
Isn't this amazing?
Hi. Oh, I'm so glad you could make it to my super sweet 16 party.
Oh, it's so good to see you.
Hi, everyone.
I know. So cool, right?
Best party ever already, and we're just starting.
[Cheering]
The faders: ♪ I got you on my mind ♪ Joel, check it out. Look.
♪ And it's time to make you see ♪ oh!
♪ What I want ♪
♪ so I'll just make this a little more obvious ♪ I'm so excited to be here.
♪ 'Cause I get what I want ♪
♪ and I want you to get with me ♪
♪ get with me... ♪ candied quiche and pickle puffs.
[Cheering]
Thank you so much for coming.
♪ You can't stop this ♪ hello. ♪ feeling... ♪ me time now.
It's me on an elephant.
[Scoffs]
♪ You can't stop this ♪
♪ feelin' ♪
♪ there's no escape ♪
♪ no sleep tonight ♪
♪ you won't get no sleep tonight ♪ that was amazing. Amazing.
Get out of my way!
♪ No sleep tonight ♪ well, don't you look adorable?
But you're not here to look adorable.
You're here to work.
It's clover, isn't it?
Cloe.
Oopsies. Anyway, we're all dying of thirst, so you wanna get us a soda?
I'll take mine with a slice of lime.
Oh, you know, make that a lemon with a cherry.
But, uh, take off the stem and put in 2 umbrellas, one green and, um, one yellow.
Ok?
Oh, no, listen, miss thing. You are not--
Sasha.
Stop it.
Listen, make sure your friends keep a cork in it, because I wouldn't want to have to fire your mother...
Again.
Ok, what was that about?
Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it.
Come on. Let's work.
[Love is wicked by brick & lace playing]
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ ah, ah ♪
♪ brick & lace ♪
♪ in the place ♪
♪ your love is wicked, wicked, wicked ♪ ooh! Hi.
I'm Meredith's sister.
I've had to put up with this every day for 11 years. Can you feel my pain?
Yeah, I'm stuck with her.
You guys look like total rock stars.
I look like a circus freak.
I'll pay you to kidnap me.
I'm worth a lot.
I'll do it.
That nose is workin' for me.
Me likey.
[Gags] Humph.
[Laughter]
♪ Your love is wicked ♪
♪ tears on my pillow cry your love is wicked ♪
♪ cry me a river, 'cause your love is wicked ♪
♪ friends come around, say your love is wicked ♪
♪ but the kisses, way you give, don't you know it's wicked? ♪
♪ wait for your call, 'cause your love is wicked ♪
[music fades out]
You're a very beautiful girl, uh, cupcake, and you look cute as a button tonight.
Don't let anyone kid you.
You're a good dad.
Thank you, uh, jelly bean.
[Drumroll]
May I have your attention, please?
For our first super fun event of my super evening, it's time for the entertainment, me.
Please hold your applause until the end.
♪ "F" to the "a" to the b-u-l-o-u-s ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ come on ♪
♪ ooh ♪
♪ "f" to the "a" to the b-u-l-o-u-s ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ this is your lucky day ♪
♪ you're standing in my presence ♪
♪ this is your lucky day ♪
♪ I'm like a slice of heaven ♪
♪ flowin', overflowin' ♪
♪ when it's in your presence ♪
♪ flowin', overflowin' ♪
♪ time to take the lesson from me ♪
♪ I guarantee ♪
♪ I'm fabulous ♪
♪ simply one and only ♪
♪ fabulous ♪
♪ you wanna be my homey ♪
♪ funky and fabulous ♪
♪ don't hate me 'cause I got it ♪
♪ fabulous ♪
♪ gonna make you want it ♪
♪ she's so fabulous ♪
♪ back in the day ♪
♪ back in elementary ♪
♪ people like me ♪
♪ were treated so differently ♪
♪ now you know they were wrong ♪
♪ they were jealous of me all along ♪
♪ now take a breath ♪
♪ just sit back, let it go ♪
♪ chill out, let it flow ♪
♪ 'cause now I'm running the show ♪
♪ I'm funky, I'm fly ♪
♪ I'm fabulous, and here's why ♪
♪ don't worry that you are inferior ♪
♪ it's just that I'm superior ♪
♪ don't sweat it, don't cry ♪
♪ don't fret it, here's why ♪
♪ fabulous ♪
♪ don't hate me 'cause I got it ♪
♪ fabulous ♪
♪ you know I'm gonna flaunt it ♪
♪ fabulous ♪
♪ gonna make you want it ♪
♪ I'm so fabulous ♪
[cheering]
We love you! Yeah!
Avery: We love you!
Thank you so much.
And now for a real treat.
I'd like to invite my dear, dear friend to go next.
[Gasps] Oh, my God.
I can't believe she's gonna let me go first.
Yassie, darling, a little birdie told me that you just love to sing.
[Giggles]
Come on up here.
Come on. Come on.
No, no. No, no, please, don't.
Don't do this to her.
She has stage fright.
No, no. Oh, please.
No, stop.
Sasha: Oh, poor yasmin.
This is gonna be fantastic.
[Feedback]
Raise the roof, yasmin.
Let's go, yasmin.
[Mouths words]
All three: We love you, yasmin!
Come on, yasmin.
It's my birthday.
Show us what you can do.
[Fighting sobs]
[Crowd groans]
[Microphone feedback]
Meredith: Oh, dear.
She is so adorably shy.
Precious.
Well, I have had the privilege of watching her sing, and I just want you all to see it.
♪ LA cucaracha, LA cucaracha ♪
[laughter]
♪ Porque le falta, porque le falta ♪
♪ Las patitas de atrás ♪
♪ LA cucaracha, LA cucaracha ♪
♪ ya no puede caminar ♪ hey, come on, guys. Dance with me.
[Latin dance music playing]
Up, up, up! Come on, everyone!
[Cheering]
Stop it.
[Dancers trilling]
Do something about this.
I'm on it.
[Modern remix of LA cucaracha playing]
Juancho: ♪ no se levanta ni a LA manaña ♪
♪ LA cucaracha, LA cucaracha ♪ stop it.
♪ Ya no puede caminar ♪
[music winds down, stops]
And now for my second change of the evening.
Ladies and gentlemen...
What?
My aquamarine meringue.
[Crowd gasps]
[Applause]
Well, is everyone having a good time?
Is this like the best super sweet 16 party ever?
Do you guys, like, totally love me?
[Applause dies out] [Cough]
Girl: What'd she say?
Let's--let's start dancing.
Ok? Whoo!
Prima j: ♪ come on, baby, let's just kick it ♪ hi, mtv. Welcome to my super sweet 16 party.
All: We love you, mtv! Whoo!
My party was totally better than yours.
♪ Every time that I say no... ♪ I am so sorry.
Um, um, foie gras mousse?
Pretty good at lip reading.
Not that good.
You looked great on the big screen.
Oh, don't remind me.
So humiliating.
Yeah, don't let it get to you.
Consider the source.
[Scoffs] Excuse me. Yasmin, get back to work.
That is not what I am paying you for.
No fraternizing with my guests.
Meredith: Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
Shoo. Go, go, go, go.
Excuse me. Aah!
[Whistles] Jumbo, come here, boy.
Go. Go, jumbo, go.
[Trumpets]
Oh, my gosh.
Well, if isn't cloe, the klutzy clown.
You're fired. Now clean up this disgusting mess before my guests see it.
Cameron, what are you doing? Get up.
Cameron.
Cameron. Cameron, get me a drink.
Get your own drink.
What?
Cameron!
[Trumpets]
Thanks a lot, jumbo.
Whaah! Whoa!
[Guests gasp]
Ohh! Aah!
[Laughter]
What are you looking at?
Stop it. Stop it!
[Silence]
This is my mtv super sweet 16 party.
Everybody go back to your assigned tables immediately!
Aah! Whoa!
[Laughter]
Thank you.
[Trumpets]
Aah!
[Laughter]
[Grunts]
Meredith, are you ok?
Do you need a hand?
I--I can get you a towel.
I know cpr.
Look at me! You guys have ruined everything!
There was gonna be a cake and dancing and an amazing goody bag.
But now the party's over.
You've ruined it for everyone!
You--you...
Brats!
Hi, mtv. This is the best party I have ever been to in my whole life!
Happy Birthday, Meredith.
[Elephant trumpets]
Yasmin: Well, she's brought back the cliques.
Cloe: Ok. So what do we do now?
Um, Sasha.
Hey, Bethany.
So, uh, we've been talking, and, um, you're a really great cheerleader, and--and we really want you to be a part of the team, but if--if you don't wanna hang out with us, then maybe you don't have the right kind of school spirit for the job.
So you're saying if I'm not a part of your clique, I'm off the squad?
Think about it.
Hey.
You either need to spend more time with us, or we need to cut you from the roster.
Dexter, don't be that guy.
I'm afraid that's not up to me.
We had a real chemistry, jade.
I'm not doing it.
Come on, yas. Get over it.
Jade: The only way to get everyone back together is to win the talent show.
Meredith wins every year.
You're the only one that can break her streak.
Maybe so, but I'm still not doing it.
Next subject, please.
A chicken. [Clucking]
Fine. That's me, El pollo yasmin.
Look, if you sing, I'll spin.
Really? Yeah.
No.
Come on. We'll all help you.
You'll sing, I'll choreograph, cloe'll splash the background with her video bling, and jade will-- what, add numbers faster than anyone?
2,147. 3,268.
5,415. Big whoop.
Hello, fashion diva.
We're gonna need costumes.
Now you're talkin', sister.
And we're gonna need backup singers, too.
And dancers!
Why stop there? We should get everyone who Meredith sh*t down to perform with us.
Perfect! Then you don't need me.
[Sighs] Ok, how 'bout this?
The winner gets a scholarship.
Know anyone who might need that?
Cloe.
[Sighs] Ok, fine.
[Squeals]
But only for cloe.
But I still can't do it.
All three: Why?!
Because we don't have a name.
Well, well, well, if it isn't the "brats."
Heh heh.
Brats.
Cloe, you're a genius.
I am?
All three: Brats!
Yeah! [Laughter]
Daechelle: ♪ ooh, yeah ♪ ready? 5, 6, 7, 8.
♪ Be fearless ♪
♪ and nothin' is impossible ♪
♪ so fearless ♪
♪ and know that you're invincible ♪
♪ be fearless ♪ I love it. Next.
♪ Prove the undeniable ♪
♪ 'cause you're so much stronger than you know ♪
♪ you're so much stronger than you know... ♪ ok, guys, I got some great images for the talent show that I took of the mimes.
♪ Stand your ground, be confident ♪
♪ the strength inside is heaven-sent ♪
♪ remember saints and heroes... ♪ you are awesome.
♪ Remember saints and heroes gone before ♪ what do you think?
That looks good.
♪ In your demon's eyes ♪
♪ believe you can solve... ♪ yaah!
Hah!
[Groans in pain]
Ahh! You're in.
Sasha: 5, 6, 7...
Stop! You're k*lling us.
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California...
Boring.
♪ Be fearless ♪
♪ and nothin' is impossible... ♪ horrible.
Horrible. You're in.
♪ And know that you're invincible ♪ next!
I am plunger man.
♪ Nothin' is impossible... ♪ come on, y'all. Get up.
♪ And know that you're invincible ♪
♪ you know it ♪ ♪ fearless ♪
♪ come on ♪
♪ prove the undeniable ♪
♪ 'cause you're so much stronger than you know ♪
♪ you're so much stronger than you know ♪
♪ fearless ♪
♪ and nothin' is impossible ♪ hey, sweetheart.
Hi, dad.
Uh, aren't you supposed to be at mom's tonight?
[Gasps] Oh, dad, I'm so exhausted, I completely forgot.
You know what? You go on to bed.
I'll call mom.
And I just wanna tell you somethin'.
I'm really proud of you.
You are?
Yeah.
You and your friends have put aside all your differences and made it work.
Thanks, dad.
Maybe one day, you and mom will do the same thing.
Yeah. Maybe.
Meredith: Bratz?
[Scoffs] Oh, no. No way. Nuh-uh.
I don't think so.
They ruined my super sweet 16.
I am not going to let them ruin my talent show.
Hello, yasmin.
So you see, it's really in your best interest to drop out of the talent show, or I'll be forced to go public with all these embarrassing flaws that I have right here on your friends--
Sasha, jade, and particularly clover.
Cloe.
Same thing. I'm pretty sure cloe wouldn't want the entire student body to know that when her mother worked for us, things just disappeared.
Poor girl. How terribly pitiful.
You are so devious.
Thank you.
I mean, I hate to do it, but you can certainly see my predicament and yours.
Can't you?
How pathetic.
I can't believe you. You spend half your time documenting dirt on everyone else.
You really need to get a life.
Oh, I have one, and it is fabulous.
Save it.
Just leave cloe alone.
Smart move.
[Beep]
Sasha: 5, 6, 7, 8.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
O-one, 2, 3, 4, [Snap]
5, 6, 7, 8.
Hit 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
O-one, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
Yas, come here.
You have to see this.
We are so tight. Check-- watch. Show her. Ready? Come on.
Wait. Guys, wait! 5, 6, 7--
[music stops]
I need to tell you something.
I'm dropping out of the talent show.
I just can't do it.
All three: What?
I'm sorry. It's just...
You guys kind of pulled me into it, and I never really wanted to do it anyway.
This is a joke, right?
No, it's not.
It's just not my thing. It's kind of stupid.
Stupid?
No, what's stupid is is that I'm almost getting kicked off of my soccer team, and you, you're the one dropping out?
W-whatever. I don't wanna talk about it.
You don't wanna talk about it?
Can we talk about the fact that my grades have dropped?
How selfish can you be?
What happened to sticking together?
I guess I'm...
Just not feeling it anymore.
Sorry.
Right. Ok. Well, I guess if-- if you're not feeling it anymore, then we're not feelin' you.
Know what? Come on, girls. We're through here.
Oh, and, yasmin, delete my number from your cellphone, ok?
Cloe: Mine, too.
Yeah. Sounds about right.
[Door shuts]
Matt white: ♪ look what I've become ♪
♪ I study the lines on her face ♪
♪ tell me nothin's wrong ♪
♪ I never meant to act this way again ♪
♪ this might be the end ♪
♪ nowhere... ♪
[sobbing] I tried to protect them, but I lost them instead.
Ah, cariña, they're your best friends.
Tell them the truth, huh?
You don't know Meredith.
Maybe you should let them decide.
Está bien, mi niña.
Está bien, mi Amor.
Bubbie te quiere mucho.
♪ I want to tell you ♪
♪ the things I couldn't say ♪
♪ I wish you would listen... ♪ ok.
Brown, blue.
Blue, brown.
Why aren't you girls getting ready?
Mom, we're not going.
Not going? Why?
Yasmin bailed on us.
Yasmin?
She just quit the show.
We thought our friendship was more important than anything.
I mean, after everything we've been through.
We put it all on the line.
Can't believe it.
Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
Maybe something's wrong with her.
You girls have been friends forever.
Don't you think that you at least owe it to yasmin to look a little bit deeper...
Find out why she did what she did?
[Crickets chirping]
Sasha, I have something to tell you guys, like, face to face.
Sasha: Ok.
Look out your window.
[Applause]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a night of magic.
Before we begin, I'd like to introduce you to our illustrious celebrity judges, who will be voting for me.
[Applause]
[Audience murmurs]
Heh. I'm totally kidding.
Uhh! I can't believe Meredith would stoop so low.
Wait. Did I just say that?
We should have known you were just protecting us.
But I didn't tell you.
Yeah, but we should have known anyway.
Yas, we want to do the talent show with you.
But, guys, remember? Meredith?
Whatever. If we let Meredith scare us into quitting the show, then it's all over.
She's gonna make our lives miserable for the rest of the year.
Yeah, and it doesn't matter if we win.
We gotta stand up for ourselves, show some attitude.
So let me get this straight.
You guys wanna stand up onstage in front of the whole school and risk everyone laughing at us and thinking we're losers until we graduate?
Exercise? Yeah, I get enough exercise...
Just pushin' my luck.
♪ Bah dump, cha ♪
[silence]
Anyway, heh heh.
Um, what do termites eat for breakfast?
Oakmeal.
You get it?
[Coughs] Oakmeal.
♪ Bah dah bump, cha ♪
♪ bubbity bubbity, dah cha ♪
♪ bubbita ba cha bubbity bubbity bubbity boo yah, brrring ♪
♪ didlidlidl, bubbity buh, bah dah cha ♪
[clapping]
That was just hilarious. Heh.
Really. Really wonderful.
Thank you, guys.
It's hilarious. Heh.
Stiff competition.
Our next act is simply amazing.
[Opera] ♪ LA Donna è mobile ♪
♪ qual piuma Al vento ♪
[applause]
♪ Muta d'accento... ♪ haah chaah!
Hey! Gaaah!
[Gasping] [Yelling]
[Cracking]
[Laughing]
♪ E di pensiero ♪
[applause]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, live from carry nation high, Meredith and the meredettes.
[Pop music playing]
♪ You know it's all about me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
[dramatic music playing]
♪ Don't hate me 'cause I got it goin' on ♪
♪ it's just me ♪
♪ I'm hot, never cold ♪
♪ I can rock it any way that I choose ♪
♪ I'm so good, oh, yeah ♪
♪ I make up all the rules ♪
♪ I can't help it if I set all the trends ♪
♪ everybody wants to be my best friend ♪
♪ it's infectious ♪
♪ come on, don't you be jealous ♪
♪ just join in this lovefest ♪
♪ you know that it's all about me ♪
♪ it's all about me ♪
♪ oh, yeah, me, myself, and I ♪
♪ it's all about me ♪
♪ m-m-m-MySpace, I have 10 million friends ♪
♪ t-t-t-text me, b.F.F. Till the end ♪
♪ p-p-p-page me on your cell and press send ♪
♪ diva what? Diva who? Diva where? ♪
♪ that's me ♪
♪ d-d-d-download all my crazy new hooks ♪
♪ u-u-u-upload all my video looks ♪
♪ so buy my ring tone, fashion line, and cookbooks ♪
♪ diva what? Diva who? Diva where? ♪
♪ it's all about me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ it's all about me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ me, me, me ♪
♪ e-everybody knows I'm fly ♪
♪ it's all about me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ don't blame her ♪
♪ I'm so beautiful ♪
♪ not her fault ♪
♪ I'm platinum and gold ♪
♪ she's the queen ♪
♪ and my reign is supreme ♪
♪ so follow the leader ♪
♪ you're all on my team ♪ [Whistles]
♪ I can't help it if I set all the trends ♪
♪ everybody wants to be my best friend ♪
♪ it's contagious ♪
♪ and it's so outrageous ♪
♪ grandparents, grown-ups, and kids of all ages ♪
♪ you know Madonna ain't got nothin' on me ♪
♪ b-b-b-Beyoncé ain't got nothin' on me ♪
♪ c-c-Christina ain't got nothin' on me ♪
♪ diva what... ♪ hurry up.
♪ Diva where? ♪
♪ that's me ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ I'm a specialty ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ I'm an anomaly ♪
♪ you know it's all about me ♪
♪ who else could it be? ♪
♪ upload, download, text me, page me ♪
♪ MySpace, YouTube, don't erase me ♪
♪ indoor, outdoor, I'm so clever ♪
♪ that's why I will rule forever ♪ me!
[Sighs]
[Applause]
Get off my stage. Go.
Wasn't that awesome?
[Applause]
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, let's see who you have chosen as this year's most talented student at carry nation high.
Judges, the envelope, please.
Wait a minute.
There's still one more act.
Uh, no. The show is over, with a capital "over."
Hey, listen. The girls signed up.
They deserve the right to perform.
He's right.
Meredith: Oh, please.
I know the rules, but thanks anyway.
Hey, those are my parents you're talkin' to.
You will not disrespect them like that.
Have you considered anger management?
Oh, Meredith, bag it.
Introduce us, cloe.
Wait. Are you sure you wanna do this to your friends, yasmin?
Well, then, it is my responsibility as your student body president to let you know who these bratz really are.
[Beep]
Exhibit "a," the fashionista.
I say imposterista.
She lies to her parents, to her teachers, and to you.
This is who you think she is.
This is who she really is.
[Gasps]
Here's the dealio.
I'm not either of those girls Meredith showed you.
I'm both. I love science and math and my parents...
A lot, but I have a passion for fashion.
It's how I express who I am, and if I can't do that, I'm nobody.
I want everyone in my life to accept that. Sorry.
Pathetic, isn't it?
Well, nowhere as pathetic as this.
Exhibit "b," the soccer jock.
All-American girl? The perfect daughter?
You decide. When her mother desperately needed a job, my family was kind enough to offer her employment as our maid.
And how did her daughter repay this kindness?
By stealing my favorite, most beloved Dolly.
Ow. It still hurts.
Look, it's true.
My mom did clean Meredith's house.
She would do anything to provide for us.
My mom...
My mom is my hero.
[Mouths words]
But I never took your doll.
Actually, I did.
You were using it as a doorstop.
I eavesdropped on my sister, and then I betrayed her.
Yasmin, I'm very sorry.
Most of my friends think I'm a tough jock, but I been takin' ballet since I was 5.
And you know what? I like it.
[Applause]
I cheated on my pop quiz and my midterm and my final.
I'm bubbie, and I am a chocoholic.
All: Hi, bubbie.
[Sighs]
Meredith, this one's for you.
[Music playing]
♪ We got that bratitude ♪
♪ it's not an attitude ♪
♪ we got that bratitude ♪
♪ yeah, come on ♪
♪ there's a voice inside of me ♪
♪ set it free, set it free, set it free ♪
♪ and it lives way down deep in my soul ♪
♪ let it go, let it go, let it go ♪
♪ come with me on this ride ♪
♪ sail with me through the sky ♪
♪ you can't hide, you can't hide, you can't hide ♪
♪ every one, listen up ♪
♪ they say my bratitude is just an attitude ♪
♪ gonna take the latitude ♪
♪ to say that it's ok ♪
♪ it's not a platitude ♪
♪ to feel some gratitude ♪
♪ so show your bratitude ♪
♪ to the world today ♪
♪ express yourself, and you'll see ♪
♪ set it free, set it free, set it free ♪
♪ one on one, all together, you know ♪
♪ let it go, let it go, let it go ♪
♪ believe in all you are ♪
♪ let your spirit soar ♪
♪ this power will open the door ♪
♪ now you know, listen up ♪
♪ ai yi yi yi ♪
♪ it's not an attitude ♪
♪ ai yi yi yi ♪
♪ it's not a platitude ♪
♪ ai yi yi yi ♪
♪ to feel some gratitude ♪
♪ ai yi yi yi ♪
♪ brat-I-tude ♪
♪ you know my bratitude ♪
♪ show me what you're workin' with ♪
♪ is not an attitude ♪
♪ you gotta like that ♪
♪ gonna take the latitude ♪
♪ to say that it's ok ♪
♪ it's not a platitude ♪
♪ show me what you're workin' with ♪
♪ to feel some gratitude ♪
♪ so show your bratitude ♪
♪ in each and every way ♪
♪ that's what we call bratitude ♪
♪ that's what we call bratitude ♪
♪ there ain't no difference who you are ♪
♪ no ifs, no buts, no maybes ♪
♪ just follow our lead, be fearless ♪
♪ there's no limit, don't you worry ♪
♪ br-rat-tat-tat-tat ♪
♪ the bratz got your back ♪
♪ get up on your feet ♪
♪ let's take it to the street ♪
♪ to everyone you meet today ♪
♪ whoo! ♪
♪ we got it ♪
♪ we'll share it ♪
♪ we'll show it ♪
♪ for the whole world to know it ♪
♪ we got it ♪
♪ we'll share it ♪
♪ we'll show it ♪
♪ want the whole world to know it ♪
♪ they say my bratitude ♪
♪ is just an attitude ♪
♪ gonna take the latitude ♪
♪ to say that it's ok ♪
♪ it's not a platitude to feel some gratitude... ♪ Cameron, you go on that stage, and I am never speaking to you again.
♪ To the world today... ♪ know what?
That's the best offer I've heard all day.
♪ There's a voice deep inside of me ♪
♪ set it free, set it free, set it free ♪
♪ one on one, all together, you know ♪
♪ let it go, let it go, let it go ♪
♪ the best I will be bringin' ♪
♪ the right to be singin' ♪
♪ we'll always keep it real ♪
♪ stick together is the deal ♪
♪ till I know what lives inside ♪
♪ tell the truth and always try ♪ u-d-e! ♪ express yourself ♪
♪ express yourself ♪
♪ flying high with our bratitude ♪
♪ that is why we got bratitude ♪
♪ we can fly with our bratitude ♪
♪ don't deny you've got bratitude ♪
♪ flying high with our bratitude ♪
♪ that is why we've got bratitude ♪
♪ we can fly with our bratitude ♪
♪ don't deny that ♪
♪ we've ♪
♪ got ♪
♪ bra-ti- ♪
♪ tu-u-u-u-u-u-ude ♪
♪ hey! ♪
[cheering]
I know. She's so good.
Yes! Yeah!
Yeah! Ha ha ha!
Whoo!
Principal dimly: Uh, you were all, uh, absolutely wonderful.
And the winner is...
Uh, it's a tie.
It's a tie.
Well, we--that's a first.
Uh, so I guess we just, uh, will, uh--
I'd like to present the golden hatchet to, uh, Meredith Baxter dimly.
Ohh!
I really didn't see this coming.
Heh. I won. I won. I won. I won.
Look, everyone.
I won.
Heh heh. Thank you.
Yes.
And now the scholarship goes to the, uh, bratz.
[Cheering]
Meredith, tom mcshavie, vice president, mtv networks.
[Giggles]
Great show. Thank you.
You know, I caught your mtv my super sweet 16, and it's got the best numbers to date.
You in the pool-- outrageous!
My idea.
Ah. Smart girl.
Oh, but you 4 girls, whoa.
You have got superstar written all over you.
Bratz: We do? They do?
Oh, without question.
Hey, we're having a movie premiere next Saturday night.
How would you girls like to be the featured act on the red carpet?
Uh, 2 words-- "uh, duh."
Fantastic. We'll be in touch.
Cloe: No way.
Oh, my God. The red carpet.
Oh, my God. The scholarship.
Which...
We want to give to you, cloe.
You're going to college.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
For real?
Oh, I love you guys.
We're truly best friends forever.
B.F.F.S! Whoo!
Even better...
All: Bratz!
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ oh, yeah ♪
♪ ooh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ ohh ♪
♪ yeah, come on ♪
♪ whoo ♪
♪ open eyes, I can see what's in front of me ♪
♪ open mind ♪
♪ imagining what I will be ♪
♪ open eyes... ♪ I totally would have won that talent show.
Well, dear, there's always a next time.
♪ Make it happen ♪
♪ if you tell me that I can't ♪
♪ I will, I will ♪
♪ when you're tellin' me to stop ♪
♪ I won't, I won't... ♪ no, there is not a next time.
I'm graduating.
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
Oh. Oh, congratulations, dear.
♪ Extraordinary ♪
♪ no matter what or... ♪
[Paris growls]
Easy, easy. Easy, girl.
♪ From ♪
♪ no matter how my ♪
♪ time has come ♪
♪ hey ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ I can see what's in front of me ♪
♪ open mind ♪
♪ imagining what I will be ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ I can see how it's gonna be ♪
♪ whatever, whenever, gonna make it happen ♪
♪ we kept sittin' in my seat ♪
♪ I won't, I won't ♪
♪ 'cause if I want 'em to believe ♪
♪ I will, I will ♪
♪ it's not impossible, unusual, or scary ♪
♪ step outside the box and be extraordinary ♪
♪ don't matter what or where I'm from ♪
♪ don't matter how, my time has come ♪
♪ hey ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ I can see what's in front of me ♪
♪ open mind ♪
♪ imagining what I will be ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ 'cause today I'm feelin' free ♪
♪ whatever, whenever, gonna make it happen ♪
♪ you can't push me around ♪
♪ trip me up or drag me down ♪
♪ hold me underwater ♪
♪ yeah, I won't drown ♪
♪ hoo hoo hoo ♪
♪ I'm tired of all the rules ♪
♪ so tired of all the fools ♪
♪ I'm gonna keep it cool ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ open mind ♪
♪ come on, whoo ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ ahh ♪
♪ whatever, whenever, gonna make it happen ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ gonna learn what I need to know ♪
♪ open mind ♪
♪ not afraid to let it show ♪
♪ open eyes ♪
♪ gonna go where I wanna go ♪
♪ whatever, whenever, gonna make it happen ♪
♪ with open eyes ♪
[rainy day playing]
♪ I wake up in the morning ♪
♪ remember that you're gone ♪
♪ I wondered where the sun went ♪
♪ the rain is fallin' now ♪
♪ ahh ♪
♪ and I'm awake on this rainy day, and I'm ♪
♪ watchin' as my tears fall down the window pane ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ didn't I, baby ♪
♪ treat you right? ♪
♪ and I watch the rain, it makes us pure again ♪
♪ yeah, hey-ey-ey ♪
♪ ooh ♪
♪ I try to come and see you ♪
♪ ooh ♪
♪ but you won't let me in ♪
♪ let me in ♪
♪ I know we've had our moments ♪
♪ ohh ♪
♪ but can't we start again? ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ 'cause I'm awake on this rainy day, and I'm ♪
♪ watchin' as my tears fall down the window pane ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ didn't I, baby ♪
♪ treat you right? ♪
♪ and I watch the rain, it makes us pure again ♪
♪ yeah, hey-ey-ey ♪
♪ tell me how I'm gonna live without you ♪
♪ I feel like my world is fallin' apart ♪
♪ I watch the rain ♪
♪ fallin' again ♪
♪ wash away ♪
♪ wash away ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, oh ♪
♪ will only wash away ♪
♪ away ♪
♪ I'm awake on this rainy day, and I'm ♪
♪ watchin' as my tears fall down the window pane ♪
♪ yeah, yeah ♪
♪ didn't I, baby ♪
♪ treat you right? ♪
♪ and I watch the rain, it makes us pure again ♪
♪ yeah, hey-ey-ey ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, oh ♪
♪ oh, whoa, whoa, oh ♪
Bratz (2007)
Moderator: Maskath3