So here's what you missed on Glee.
Rachel went to LA to audition for a TV show, but it was terrible and she missed her performance, but then she found out that the TV executives want to write a TV show around her.
Sam's a male model and Mercedes' album's about to drop and they're still going out, except Mercedes definitely wants to save herself for marriage.
Sassy heiress June Dolloway wants to put on a showcase for Blaine, but Blaine lied to Kurt and said he's in it, too.
And that's what you missed on Glee!
- Uh, there.
- Oh, no, huge audition this week for Treasure Trailz.
They're kind of, like, on the forefront of the manscaping movement.
I mean, they're going all out: billboards, print, bus ads.
Okay, my dream of being almost naked on a public bus is this close to coming true.
Well, you know, I'm gonna be spray-painting "mine" Ooh.
Over all those ads.
Because if I'm gonna be out of town on this mall tour, I'm gonna need those 'rexy models you're working with to know that you have a girl, and she fights...
- Dirty.
- Dirty.
See?
This is exactly what my show needs to be about.
Old friends struggling to make it in this world.
Is it normal for a network to send a writer to hang out with the star to figure out the show?
Only when their star's incredibly interesting.
Mary Halloran is a genius.
She sold her first script when she was 14 years old.
Yeah, I just don't like the idea of someone crashing Monday night dinner.
No, but the point is for her to really see my life and understand my essence, and you guys are so much about besides my work, my talent and my ambition, so...
Oh, here she is.
Okay, you guys, be really nice, 'cause I don't want her to feel alienated.
We got to figure out a way to invite Mary to our showcase.
I mean, Rachel shouldn't be the only one with a chance for small-screen stardom.
Oh.
Totally.
Oh, my God!
Brittany, what's happening!
What up, b*tches?
What are you doing here?
Look who's here.
Hey!
Brittany, I thought that you were on Lesbian Island.
No...
I lost my passport and I was trapped in the airport, like Tom Hanks in that movie.
- Castaway?
- Big?
- The Money Pit?
- Okay, it was Castaway.
So, where's Santana?
Oh, uh, she's sh**ting a Yeast-I-Stat commercial in Iowa for a week.
Apparently, they had the best wheat fields to slow-motion-run through.
She didn't call and tell you?
No.
I gave up my cell phone after Kiki and I and broke up.
The pain was too great.
Hello?
Hello?
I'm Mary Halloran.
- Yes.
- Oh, is that Chinese food?
Just the smell of it gives me the Lady Di's.
Oh, I'm s...
Hello.
I am Rachel Berry.
It is so nice to meet you.
Let me introduce you to my friends...
Oh, no, no, don't bother.
I have a thing about names.
Oh.
Jonathan says it's a form of narcissism, but I think it's related to my anxiety disorder.
Ooh, who's-who's Jonathan?
He's my Tuesday-Thursday shrink.
At least I think that's his name.
You know, that wonton smell's going straight to my tummy.
Bathroom.
Now.
It-It's right there.
Okay.
Oh, I'm really excited to be working with you, by the way, Randy.
It's gonna be a blast.
Okay, let's start writing!
"The Untitled Mary Halloran Project." Yes!
So...
tell me about yourself.
Well, let's see, uh, I-I have two gay dads.
Amazing!
We can use that!
Oh, good.
Okay.
Do they work for NASA?
No, they don't.
Gay...
NASA...
- dads.
- N...
Uh...
So, you're a senior?
Um, yes, I-I started out in my high school glee club, so...
Irrelevant!
We can't use that.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
The a capella thing is so over.
But you're on Broadway.
Yeah!
Uh!
What's that like?
It's amazing.
Um, I-I do eight shows a week, so it's a little, you know, tiring, but...
Lazy.
I'm sorry?
Is this, like, your process?
Mm!
What is Mary-bot's process?
Does not compute.
Meh!
Meh!
Meh!
Meh!
Okay.
Um...
so, how-how did you...
start writing?
Well, my freshman year at Princeton, I wrote a version of The Diary of Anne Frank, where Anne was played by an upright Oreck vacuum cleaner.
It transferred to New York, where I won an Obie, and then I got a MacArthur Genius Grant.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh!
I'm so bored!
Too much work!
Can I use your bathroom?
I'm not gonna pee.
I'm just gonna snoop through the cabinets.
But before you say anything, remember that it's Opposite Day.
Yes?
Thank you.
Miss Jones, here we are with the launch of your nationwide tour of shopping malls.
As you look ahead to a summer of autograph signings and mall appearances and glamorous events at Marriott Hotels across our great, great country, how do you feel?
You know, I feel absolutely amazing.
We're gonna meet up with Santana in Reno, and I even got the label to bring along my girl Brittany as my star backup dancer.
We're gonna be like Charlie's Angels!
I get to be Farrah... no arguments.
I'm the Angel that torches stuff with her laser eyes.
♪ Oh, ooh ♪
♪ Oh, ooh, ah ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey! ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head, sh-sh-sh-shakin' my head ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Sh-sh-sh-shakin' my head ♪
♪ Every day when I awaken ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ The questions got my head a-shakin' ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Like why does gravy give you heart att*cks? ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪
♪ And why do Republicans hate the blacks, hate the blacks ♪
♪ Hate the blacks? And how come Jesus looks ♪
♪ Just like a white guy ♪
♪ When he's from Palestine? ♪
♪ That can't be right, no ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head ♪
♪ Oh, sh-sh-shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head, hey ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head ♪
♪ No, no, sh-sh-shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head ♪
♪ No, no, no, no ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh ♪
♪ When I fly on up to Heaven, God will set me straight ♪
♪ Like how come I drink Diet Coke ♪
♪ And I keep gaining weight? ♪
♪ Jesus, my Lord and Savior ♪
♪ Yeah, you know it's true ♪
♪ But God, good God ♪
♪ It's raining, too ♪
♪ Ooh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head ♪
♪ Sh-Sh-Shakin' my head, sh-sh-shakin' my head ♪
♪ People, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Wonder ♪
♪ About the world today ♪
♪ Hey, I don't, I don't know ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ No ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, ah. ♪
Blaine.
Come.
- I brought BabyCakes.
- Oh.
- What were you doing up there?
- Oh, I like to measure the stage to see how many paces I have in each direction... that way if I decide to freestyle, I won't fall on my ass into the crowd.
Oh.
You know, success depends on three things.
It depends on talent, hard work and... luck, and if you have the first two, you won't have to worry about the third.
Oh.
Who said that?
Me.
Just now.
All right.
Should I seat Michael Bay next to Walter Cronkite?
Uh, I'm pretty sure Walter Cronkite d*ed.
Oh.
That's sad.
It's okay, don't worry about Walter...
he had a fantastic life.
And he made great Manhattans.
It's not Walter.
It's...
it's Kurt.
I've... been carrying around this lie that he's gonna be in the showcase.
Can we just give him one song?
Enough.
Blaine, I am putting the most valuable currency I have into this event, and that currency is my reputation.
All the people come here because I am their taste-maker.
And my palate...
is undeniable when it comes to talent, and I cannot jeopardize my track record because your friend doesn't like to hear bad news.
Kurt is amazing.
He's incredible.
You take my lead, and the world will greet you like Venus in a clamshell.
You cross me, you will be driftwood.
Hm.
♪ What would I do without your smart mouth ♪
♪ Drawing me in and you kicking me out ♪
♪ You got my head spinning ♪
♪ No kidding ♪
♪ I can't pin you down ♪
♪ What's going on in that beautiful mind? ♪
♪ I'm on your ♪
♪ Magical mystery ride ♪
♪ And I'm so dizzy ♪
♪ Don't know what hit me ♪
♪ But I'll be all right ♪
♪ My head's underwater ♪
♪ But I'm breathing fine ♪
♪ You're crazy ♪
♪ And I'm out of my mind ♪
♪ 'Cause all of me ♪
♪ Loves all of you ♪
♪ Love your curves ♪
♪ And all your edges ♪
♪ All your perfect imperfections ♪
♪ 'Cause I give you all... ♪
♪ Of me ♪
♪ And you give me all... ♪
♪ Of you ♪
♪ Give me all of you ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪
♪ Cards on the table ♪
♪ We're both showing ♪
♪ Hearts ♪
♪ Risking it all ♪
♪ Though it's hard ♪
♪ 'Cause all of me ♪
♪ Loves all of you ♪
♪ Love your curves ♪
♪ And all your edges ♪
♪ All your perfect imperfections ♪
♪ 'Cause I give you ♪
♪ All... ♪
♪ Of me ♪
♪ And you give me all of you ♪
♪ Oh, oh. ♪
Well, I brought you lunch, but it looks like you already had dessert.
That was nice.
Are you gonna put that in the showcase?
June doesn't want you in the showcase.
And she never did.
So, you've been lying to me this whole time?
I thought I could convince her, and then they wouldn't be lies anymore.
I love you.
How am I supposed to believe that you love me if I can't even - trust you?
- I did it because I love you.
You lied to me!
We had long conversations about this.
I didn't know what else to do.
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
I...
I am...
I am so, so sorry.
Yeah, I bet you are.
Too bad I can't believe in anything else you say.
What is with the rubber band?
Um...
Just, it's been a while since I've been intimate with a girl, so I *** Oh, I know what you mean.
It's been, like, nine hours since got laid.
I'm going nuts.
All right, cattle kids.
Listen up.
I'm Charlie Darling, and you're all here on zero notice because there's an advertising crisis over at the...
Treasure Trailz campaign.
Their big model got sent to prison for running an underground teacup dog-fighting ring in Miami.
They have billboards set to launch in a few days, so it's time for a new Treasure Trailz coverboy.
We're going to do this fast, and we're gonna do it dirty.
Walk.
If you can't get into my jeans with your walk, then you don't have it.
I brought some girls to help set the mood.
For the love of God, please, someone just turn me on.
♪ See them walking hand in hand across the bridge at midnight ♪
♪ Heads turning as the lights flashing out it's so bright ♪
♪ Then walk right out to the fourline track ♪
♪ There's a camera rolling on her back ♪
♪ On her back ♪
♪ And I sense the rhythm humming ♪
♪ In a frenzy all the way down her spine ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ Two minutes later ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ Got your picture ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ Wider, baby, smiling ♪
♪ You just made a million ♪
♪ Fuses pumping live heat twisting out on a wire ♪
♪ Give me shudders in a whisper ♪
♪ Take me up till I'm sh**ting a star ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ She's more than a lady ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ See you together ♪
♪ Girls on film ♪
♪ Yeah, girls on film. ♪
You... what's your name?
Uh, Sam Evans.
Sam, you are seriously buzzing with sex.
Uh, maybe it's just 'cause I'm a little backed up.
My, uh, girlfriend and I...
we're waiting till we get married.
Whatever it is, it's working.
Come back tonight for the sh**t.
Everything about you just screams Treasure Trailz.
What's this?
We need to have a little girl talk.
It's about Sam.
Are you gonna break up with him before you go on tour?
Sam, I think you need to break it off with Mercedes.
It's just the gentlemanly thing to do.
We love each other.
You're going to be traveling all over the country, meeting tons of people.
Guys are gonna be, like, throwing themselves at you.
Listen, I've got my posse and my Jesus.
I can resist temptation!
But Sam can't.
Sam is cool with the whole waiting until marriage thing.
He barely even thinks about it anymore.
It's all I think about.
Like today, there were all these boobs all around me, and I almost passed out... but I didn't.
I controlled it.
Okay, I'm not gonna lie.
It is scary, worrying about what the person you love is doing while you're a million miles away, but it's worth the risk.
And Sam respects me.
And if that makes me a romantic and not a realist, well, that's the way that I'm choosing to live my life.
Look, guys, I'm committed to Mercedes, okay?
She's the one.
I'm not gonna screw it up.
Look, being in love is amazing, and when you have it, it's terrifying to let it go, but sometimes the best chance you have of staying together is by being apart for a while.
Ow.
Rachel's one of those people that, when she sets a goal, she doesn't stop until she gets it.
I've never met anyone...
Did you just put a donut in your bra?
Maybe?
Did you want this one?
So, are we gonna begin, or...?
I love your attitude, and I'm okay with your loafers.
We're gonna have to change your name, though.
Do you prefer Slaine or Fane?
I'm sorry.
Are you an actual writer from a real-life television network?
Shoop shoop!
Shoop shoop da-doop!
Can I just say that you are a breath of fresh air, and I love your pajamas?
Don't steal my pajamas!
Little mousies live in the pockets!
Amazing.
All right.
And a kitty lives in my pants.
Rachel, that chick is insane.
I think she's amazing.
When Mary and I spoke telepathically, I told her I'd watch any show she created.
If you go out for that TV show, you're going to have to burn a lot of bridges.
Sidney Greene even said he's gonna blackball you if you missed another performance.
What is he gonna do when he finds out you're quitting on him?
Shh!
Look, if I do this TV show, then I can, like, come back to New York afterwards and do any show I want for, like, ten times the amount of money.
Understood, but if you're making that bet, I wish you'd bet on your voice, not some crazy psychopath who eats couch cushions.
The armrest is the sweetest meat.
Look, you're the star of the show, but you have to trust your instincts, not hers.
Okay, you guys, welcome to the first informal read-through of the Untitled Mary Halloran Project.
So, I will be playing the role of Rachel.
Blaine, you'll be playing Slaine, and Brittany, you'll be playing Nittany.
I'm guessing I'm Jam?
- Blartie?
- Yes.
Cert?
I'm Cert, like the breath mint.
Let's start with scene one.
Interior Cert and Rachel's apartment.
"Rachel eats a full sheet cake in a bathtub, thinking about her gay dads who work for NASA." Um...
Hey.
Hey, where did you get that dinosaur suit?
I found it in a Dumpster in the Bronx, so I put it on, but then I was afraid it might have lice, so I took it off, but then I missed having it on, so I put it back on.
O-M-G-R-O-F-L-W-T-H.
My stupid gay NASA dads forgot that today was my birthday, and I know that they're on the International Space Station, but I, like, never even forget their anniversary.
Hashtag D-B-E-Y-R.
Hashtag D-I-L-L-I-G-A-S.
Hashtag, hashtag...
...hashtag, hashtag.
Hashtag, hashtag...
"...hashtag, hashtag, hashtag..." hashtag, hashtag." Why don't we move to, uh, scene 12?
That was weird.
That was uber weird.
It is so wrong that we just slept together.
Uber wrong.
I'm gay, and you're mostly lesbian, but here's what I'm thinking.
I know what you're going to say.
Okay, let's just say it at the same time at the count of three.
One, two, three.
Let's keep sleeping together and start an art gallery in the performance space downstairs!
- Oh.
Mmm.
- Mmm.
Um...
Okay, well, why...
why don't we, uh, move onto...
Rachel's impromptu birthday rave?
What's going on?
It's a rave.
Coffee rave!
What?
It's a coffee rave!
Everybody's drinking coffee.
Why coffee?
I don't know.
No one's here.
It's the worst coffee rave ever.
It's for Rachel!
Her gay astronaut dads forgot her birthday.
She sort of has an issue with people forgetting birthdays.
For a while, she went to therapy about it.
I'm-I'm sorry.
Can we stop?
The speech goes on for, like, six more pages.
I don't even see any punctuation.
Everyone keeps stopping just when I start getting into it.
This doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, I sort of called that.
Girl, you're gonna have to do something.
You're right, and Kurt was right, too.
If I'm going to do this, it's going to be my show, or no show at all.
They're full of diseases.
Pretty hard to dance at your showcase with bumblefoot.
Humans can't get bumblefoot.
And I don't want to do the showcase anymore.
You are more important to me than anything.
What do you think it's like to fly for the first time?
I mean, here you are up in this nest, which is the only home you've ever known, and even though your DNA and millions of years of evolution are telling you that if you jump, you won't hit the ground like a stone, you can never really know.
Relationships are like that.
You give someone your heart to look after, and you tell yourself that you're safe, but...
you never know if today or tomorrow is going to be the day that they drop it like a stone.
Kurt, I'm really, really, really sorry.
I get what happened.
The way that I was talking about the showcase...
there's no way that I would have been cool with not being in it.
I would have lied to me, too.
I don't understand.
If you're not mad at me, then where are you going with all this flying stuff?
Oh, no, I-I was mad.
Then I realized that trust is a choice.
You know, every day, we're going to roll out of bed, and send each other into the world, just trusting that we have each other's backs.
And we will slip up, and-and we will be scared, but I choose to trust and to love you through everything.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Uh, I love you so much.
I-I mean what I said about the showcase.
Either we fly together, or we don't fly at all.
I am very happy for you.
And I'm very excited the world gets to see you spread your wings.
Now it's your turn to fly.
Thank you.
I don't know if it's all this bird talk, but...
I'm getting a little turned on.
Let's go inside.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
Yeah, pretty much.
You know, we have, uh, plain donuts here.
I prefer the misery of doing it this way, earning it.
Yeah, see, that's sort of what I mean about the show.
You know, which is genius, by the way.
Thank you.
I just think the character of Rachel doesn't really sound like me.
She... sounds like you.
I know TV.
People want antiheroes.
They want chubby girls who can't keep men and men who k*ll people.
And that's great.
I just...
I thought that Mr. Paulblatt wanted to make a show that was about me.
I know the kinds of shows he greenlights...
they all have the one thing you lack: irony.
When I was in the glee club and I had to explain something, it always helped me to do it through song.
Oh...
God, no.
I just want to show you my essence.
I don't know how to write a script, but I know how I want it to feel.
♪ Have you ever fed a lover ♪
♪ With just your hands? ♪
♪ Closed your eyes and trusted ♪
♪ Just trusted ♪
♪ Have you ever thrown ♪
♪ A fistful of glitter in the air? ♪
♪ It's only half past the point of no return ♪
♪ The tip of the iceberg ♪
♪ The sun before the burn ♪
♪ The thunder before the lightning ♪
♪ And the breath before the phrase ♪
♪ Have you ever felt this way? ♪
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la... ♪
♪ There you are ♪
♪ Sitting in the garden ♪
♪ Clutching my coffee ♪
♪ Calling me sugar ♪
♪ You called me sugar... ♪
♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Have you ever wished for ♪
♪ An endless night? ♪
♪ Lassoed the moon and the stars ♪
♪ And pulled that rope tight? ♪
♪ Have you ever ♪
♪ Held your breath ♪
♪ And asked yourself ♪
♪ Will it ever get better than tonight? ♪
♪ Tonight. ♪
This is so weird.
I was watching you and I was like, "What is this feeling?" Right?
It's so unfamiliar.
What was it?
I think it was happy.
That's never happened to me before.
I think you're right.
Maybe there is a show in making people not hate themselves.
You mean it?
A-And, you know, you'll make her sound like me?
Well, they'll never make it, but I'll give your version a sh*t.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
Okay, I'm gonna give you a hug now.
Oh.
Wow.
Now can you leave?
I need to shame-eat.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay, good.
Yeah, just...
Yeah.
Give me a little more sex, a little more sex.
A little more heat.
Come on.
Chocolate.
Banana.
Give it to me, give it to me.
Just tighten the abs a little bit.
There you go.
Just look over this way.
No, not all the way.
I don't like that.
I don't like that.
Ass?
Can you just give me more sex?
You know?
Feel it.
Yeah.
This isn't working.
No, I hate everything.
I hate everything.
Sam, where's my sex buzz?
You didn't get laid today, did you?
No, it's-it's...
your...
your assistant is...
looking at me kind of funny.
Is one of your nipples higher than the other?
It's...
weirding me out.
Okay.
Enough, enough.
Everybody out.
Out.
Okay.
Do you want a beer?
I'm-I'm...
I'm nine-nineteen.
I won't tell your mom.
What are you feeling?
Um...
well, if I was a soup, I would probably be minestrone.
Keep talking.
I like your honesty.
So does the camera.
Uh...
Well...
you're really hot, so there's that.
There's definitely that.
But I...
I love my girlfriend.
The one who doesn't have sex with you?
Um...
y...
I-I'm also feeling kind of scared.
Of me?
Well, it's just that this job is really important to me.
It's a dream come true.
I'm just worried that if I don't give you what you want I-I might lose it.
What do you think I want?
Hmm?
I'm gonna tell you something to leave out of your minestrone of emotions: guilt.
There's nobody here.
We can do whatever we want.
And nobody has to know.
Hey, my sexy working man.
Look.
I got us a bunch of binge foods to celebrate.
Babe, what's wrong?
I'm so sorry.
I cheated on you.
I was at my sh**t and this photographer was all over me and it was so intense.
It was like that scene in Fame, and she just...
kissed me.
And...
and then what happened?
I got so upset I started crying and then she took some photos of me crying in my underwear and then I just left.
Sam, you didn't cheat on me.
It's not like you kissed her back.
Well, like, I kind of sort of did but it was just, like, one of those reflex reactions that you have when someone kisses you.
Like, kind of, you know, like...
- See?
Like that.
- Ugh.
I can't do this to you anymore.
Sam, I-I love you so much.
But I'm looking at my life, and...
I don't think I'm gonna be ready until I'm, like, 30.
And asking you to wait that long is like asking a cheetah not to run.
It's okay.
I'm okay with it.
I...
Yeah, it's-it's hard, but...
I just have this feeling that we're meant to be together.
Yeah, who's to say that we're not?
Y-You think I'm gonna cheat on you?
No, actually, I think you won't.
And I think you'll resent me for it.
And I think that we're holding on way too tight and we're not believing in our love and we're gonna break it.
It's gonna burn me to see you with other girls.
But I know this is the right thing.
Just know that...
whoever I'm with or whatever I'm doing, I'd rather be doing it with you.
Hey.
Hey.
Just...
Let's make a deal.
If I...
if I do decide to change my mind and not wait, I'll give you a call.
Deal.
♪ What good is a field on a fine summer night ♪
♪ If you sit all alone with the weeds? ♪
♪ Or a succulent pear if with each juicy bite ♪
♪ You spit out your teeth with the seeds? ♪
♪ Before it's too late ♪
♪ Stop trying to wait ♪
♪ For fortune and fate you're secure of ♪
♪ For there's one thing to be sure of, mate ♪
♪ There's nothing to be sure of ♪
♪ Oh, it's time to start livin' ♪
♪ Time to take a little from this world we're given ♪
♪ Time to take time ♪
♪ 'Cause spring will turn to fall ♪
♪ In just no time at all ♪
♪ Sages tweet that age is sweet ♪
♪ Good deeds and good work earn you laurels ♪
♪ But what can make you feel more obsolete ♪
♪ Than being noted for your morals? ♪
♪ Give me a man who is handsome and strong ♪
♪ Someone who's stalwart and steady ♪
♪ Give me a night that's romantic and long ♪
♪ Then give me a month to get ready ♪
♪ Now I could waylay some aging roué ♪
♪ And persuade him to play in some cranny ♪
♪ But it's hard to believe I'm being led astray ♪
♪ By a man who calls me granny... ♪
One, two, three, four.
♪ Oh, it's time to start livin' ♪
♪ Time to take a little from the world we're given ♪
♪ Time to take time ♪
♪ For spring will turn to fall ♪
♪ In just no time at all ♪
♪ Oh, it's time to start livin' ♪
♪ Time to take a little from the world we're given ♪
♪ Time to take time ♪
♪ For spring will turn to fall ♪
♪ And watching your flings ♪
♪ Be flung all over ♪
♪ Makes me feel young all over ♪
♪ In just... no.. time ♪
♪ In just... no... time ♪
♪ At all... ♪
♪ No time at all. ♪
Encore, encore.
You were wonderful.
Oh, thank you.
That was great.
They're demanding an encore.
Then go, go.
Don't drink it now, drink it later.
Or drink it by the stage.
You're such a good friend to come, um, rise above everything and be here to support him, really.
Encore, encore...
A friend wouldn't stand any of this.
I'm here because he is the love of my life and nothing and no one is gonna come between us.
Sweet.
Thank you.
Thank you all so very much.
Um, before we end tonight, I would like to give a very, very special thank you to my benefactor, June Dolloway.
The woman that taught me that talent is worthless unless you can really back it up with passion.
And so I'd like to use that passion to pick my last song.
Because there is nothing I am more passionate about...
than my fiancé.
So, um, Kurt...
would you like to sing this last duet with me?
Oh...
If you all came here to get to know me tonight, there's no better way than seeing me with my one true love.
♪ Just another one champion sound ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, Estelle, we 'bout to get down ♪
♪ Get down ♪
♪ Who the hottest in the world right now? ♪
♪ Just touched down in London town ♪
♪ Bet they give me a pound ♪
♪ Tell them put the money in my hand right now ♪
♪ Tell the promoter we need more seats, we just sold out ♪
♪ All the floor seats ♪
♪ Take me on a trip ♪
♪ I'd like to go some day ♪
♪ Take me to New York, I'd love to see L.A. ♪
♪ I really want to ♪
♪ Come kick it with you ♪
♪ You'll be my American boy ♪
♪ He said... hey, sister ♪
♪ It's really nice to meet you ♪
♪ I just met this five foot seven guy ♪
♪ Who's just my type ♪
♪ I like the way he's speaking ♪
♪ His confidence is peaking ♪
♪ Don't like his baggy jeans ♪
♪ But I'm-a like what's underneath them ♪
♪ And no I ain't been to MIA ♪
♪ I heard that Cali never rains ♪
♪ And New York's heart awaits ♪
♪ First let's see the West End ♪
♪ I'll show you to my brethren ♪
♪ I'm liking this American boy ♪
♪ American boy ♪
♪ Take me on a trip, I'd like to ♪
♪ Go some day ♪
♪ Take me to New York, I'd love to ♪
♪ See L.A. ♪
♪ I really want to ♪
♪ Come kick it with you ♪
♪ You'll be my American boy ♪
♪ Tell 'em wha gwan blud ♪
♪ Would you be my love ♪
♪ My love? ♪
♪ Would you be mine? ♪
♪ Would you be my love, my love? ♪
♪ Would you be mine? ♪
♪ Could you be my love, my love? ♪
♪ Would you be my American boy? ♪
♪ American boy ♪
♪ Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day ♪
♪ Take me to New York, I'd love to see L.A. ♪
Come on.
♪ See L.A. ♪
♪ I really want to ♪
♪ Come kick it with you ♪
♪ You'll be my American Boy ♪
♪ American boy ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la, di-da ♪
♪ Would you be my American boy? ♪
♪ American boy. ♪ Oh, my God.
June, I-I'm so sorry, I-I just had to.
No, no, no.
You two were terrific.
They loved you.
And I'm gonna take credit for all of this.
It's been a long time since anybody's proven me wrong.
June, thank you so much.
Thank you, really.
Thank you for all of this.
Don't ever let anyone... even me... make you doubt what you're sure of.
Okay.
You.
Come.
Stand.
Okay.
You remind me of my third marriage.
My husband was gay, too.
True love.
Okay, let's have a party.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
Party!
Thing about love is that it's not a scarce resource.
The more you give, the more you have to give." Aw.
- Yay.
- Yay, I love it.
Do you guys like it?
I can walk in the script.
Well, she's handing it in to the network, so...
we should hear soon.
The other one was better.
You know, I always thought that Fanny was the role that I was born to play, but then I read this.
This is it.
This is my dream role, you guys, and thank you so much for pushing me to get it right.
A toast.
To two glorious years in the greatest city on earth.
Cheers to that.
Cheers.
Cheers to that.
So very much.
Holy crap.
What...?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Sam, I am so proud of you.
I did it.
I made my dream come true.
Look at this.
Ah.
The abs, the...
the nipples are even.
Oh, my gosh, this is great.
It is the start of a great career.
Nope.
It's the finish.
I came out here to get my junk on the side of a bus and I did it.
Going out on top Or on the side, really.
What are you gonna do now?
I think I'm gonna go back home.
I just want to be in a space where, you know, the only sounds I hear at night are the crickets and the rendering plant.
My mind just works better when everything's a little slower.
Plus, everybody here is just scattering, anyway, so...
It's the end of another era for us Glee kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's been quite a year, you guys.
Finn and the Glee Club...
I don't think I can really handle losing anything else.
Who said that you have to lose anything?
No, he's right.
It's like the end of an era.
Sam said it...
we're all gonna be scattered all over the place soon.
I mean, you do realize that if I get this TV show, it'll be the first time that we're apart in five years.
Well, I think if we can get through that, our friendship can survive anything.
Oh.
Kurt's right.
I'm in this with you guys for the long haul.
Okay, then, you know what, you guys?
Let's make a deal.
Six months from now, we all come back, right here, to this place, because I'm gonna need something to look forward to.
If I've learned anything this year, it's that you guys are my life.
Let's hug it out.
Come on.
Yes, yes, yes.
Let's do it.
Bring it in!
Oh, guys, I would k*ll to break out in song right now.
♪ Eh, eh-oh, eh-oh, eh, eh-oh, eh-oh ♪
♪ Eh, eh-oh, eh-oh ♪
♪ Eh, eh-oh, eh-oh ♪
♪ I was left ♪
♪ To my own ♪
♪ Devices ♪
♪ Many days ♪
♪ Fell away ♪
♪ With nothing ♪
♪ To show ♪
♪ And the walls kept tumbling down ♪
♪ In the city that we love ♪
♪ Gray clouds roll over the hills ♪
♪ Bringing darkness ♪
♪ From above ♪
♪ But if you close your eyes ♪
♪ Does it almost feel like ♪
♪ Nothing's changed at all? ♪
♪ And if you close your eyes ♪
♪ Does it almost feel like ♪
♪ You've been here before? ♪
♪ How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ♪
♪ How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ♪
♪ Oh, where do we begin? ♪
♪ The rubble or our sins? ♪
♪ Oh, where do we begin? ♪
♪ The rubble or our sins? ♪
♪ And the walls kept tumbling down ♪
♪ In the city that we love... ♪
♪ Gray clouds roll over the hills ♪
♪ Bringing darkness ♪
♪ From above... ♪
♪ But if you close your eyes ♪
♪ Does it almost feel like ♪
♪ Nothing changed at all? ♪
♪ And if you close your eyes ♪
♪ Does it almost feel like ♪
♪ You've been here before... ♪
Hello?
Yes.
Oh.
No, yes, th-thank you very much.
Thank you.
Okay.
That was the network.
They, uh...
they loved the script and they want to make it into a pilot.
I'm going to L.A.
What?
I'm going to L.A.!
This is amazing!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Is this really happening?
Oh, my God, am I gonna be on TV?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
I can't believe it!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
♪ How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ♪
♪ How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ♪
♪ Ay-oh, ay-oh ♪
♪ Does it almost feel like ♪
♪ Nothing's changed at all? ♪
♪ Ay-oh, ay-oh ♪
♪ Ay, ay-oh, ay-oh, ay, ay-oh... ♪