01x07 - Haggis

[bunniefuu]

You heard what Natalie said. No sudden movements, no changes.

Natalie is not a doctor. My sister needs professional care.

She prays. I saw her.

[Dorothy] Who cares if she brings a little God into our world?

You think this is blackmail?

You wanna keep it, don't you? Wouldn't you?

Were you here?

Did you see something?

Hello, little flower.

Uncles. In the event of a tragedy, that's when we step up.

[Dorothy] He wants to take Leanne from us.

I want to stay. [Uncle George] This is a godless house.

[door opens]

[woman] Dorothy.

Look...

he's okay.

See?

Jericho's okay.

I feel like I'm in a really good place right now.

I'm more balanced than I've been in years.

[stereo: classical, softly]

Of course, the big news is I am taking him off the breast.

I know, I know, I... agonized.

But it is such a chore expressing on the go.

Half of it ends up going straight down the drain, back into the drinking water.

You're welcome, Philadelphia.

Hold up and resist.

And then there's Sean. He and I don't touch enough.

And sometimes I just want to hold him and let him know I'm still here.

But then whenever I initiate intimacy, I always wonder if I'm obliged to f*ck him.

Hmm. All right, Dorothy.

I want you to think of a situation that is currently causing you stress.

[chuckles]

Just the one?

What do we say about humor, Dorothy?

Okay.

[Dorothy clears throat] [sighs]

I want you to connect with how that stress is treating your body.

[wind whistling]

Breathe in. Out.

[inhales deeply]

In.

[door slams] [Dorothy gasps]

Oh, God. I am so sorry.

[Dorothy sighs]

It is such a madhouse.

[woman chuckles] [Dorothy sighs]

This used to be so much easier.

Would you like to take five?

No, it's just Leanne. She's usually quiet as a mouse.

Leanne?

Didn't I tell you? Sean and I hired a nanny.

Jericho absolutely adores her.

Okay. There you go.

[woman] I could fit you in next Friday.

Let's just set that on the back burner for the time being.

And I put a little something extra on top, for all of the help that you've been.

Kinesiology has been a godsend.

And that pregnancy shifted everything, but I feel as though I'm entering into a new phase of self-healing.

Taking responsibility for my own well-being.

You understand, don't you? [car honks]

Oh, that's my ride.

Leanne! Leanne! Could you bring him down for a squeeze?

Dorothy, we should talk about this.

Maybe she's putting him down for a nap.

I mean, as your friend, I can't let you... [honking continues]

He's blocking traffic. I really gotta run.

[Dorothy winces]

Hey, listen, Sean will be home any minute, and he can help you with the table.

And let's do dinner soon, on us.

[kisses]

[Jericho fussing]

[yelps]

Hey!

[door slams]

[Sean] Natalie! What are you doing up there?

[shutter clicks] Lil' bitch came out of nowhere.

Well, what were you doing upstairs?

I thought I heard a noise.

Was that Leanne?

Uh, Dorothy told you about her?

You hired a nanny, Sean? For a doll?

Yeah, Leanne helps around the house. She's playing along.

'Cause it's all part of the illusion, right?

Delusion.

That doll was supposed to be a temporary measure.

I explained at the time it's not a cure, and it's not a solution.

But it's working. I mean, you've seen Dorothy. She's reborn.

I know you don't wanna face this, none of us do, but the longer we leave it, the harder it's gonna be.

I think I know what's best for my wife.

I don't think you do.

I think you are using that doll as an emotional crutch, just as she is, and I think you're starting to tell yourself it's real.

We did what we thought was right... at the time.

But this has gone too far. We need to wake Dorothy up.

Hey.

[Jericho fussing]

[squelching]

[Dorothy sighs]

[Sean] Hey.

Oh! My breasts are literally going to explode.

Not on the squid, please.

Look at that. Isn't nature beautiful?

It's not wine though, is it?

You been hearing anything about biofeedback therapy?

Is that the one where you send away your sh*t to see if you got cancer?

Mm-mm.

It's electronic monitoring of bodily functions.

A lady at work was having migraines, now she swears by it.

Is that why you fired Natalie?

I didn't fire Natalie.

I'm reassessing my needs.

Taking back control over my beautiful, scarred body.

Well, good for you.

You know, people like Natalie, they just tell you what you wanna hear.

You're stronger than she gives you credit for.

Oh. Thank you.

She's still a friend though, so I do feel bad.

That's why I invited her for dinner tomorrow night.

You invited her here?

Mm-hmm.

Is that a problem?

No. No, it's just there's a new restaurant. It's beautiful.

No, I don't wanna go to any more of your new restaurants.

The one that made us eat in the dark, it was creepy.

I wanna entertain in my own home, for a change, like we used to.

Come watch me. It's a real tearjerker.

No one can resist the allure of a cute puppy.

But the army of unwanted dogs roaming our streets has reached epidemic levels.

And local authorities are biting back.

I'm Dorothy Turner, 8 News.

When food was scarce, people would eat every last scrap, the heart, liver, stomach.

Now, we breed too much, we grow too much, we throw too much out.

People have forgotten the old ways.

I don't think that I could eat that.

Sounds like a challenge.

We got a guest for dinner tonight. I could save you some.

Who's coming?

Natalie, the kinesiologist.

Oh, yeah, you two met already.

I thought that she was a thr*at to Jericho.

Yeah, she is.

If she so much as smells a dirty diaper in this house, it's all over.

I can't keep a lid on that.

Can I help?

I can't leave Dorothy alone with Natalie, not for a minute.

But if I could have someone to help me serve, keep an eye on the kitchen...

Like a hostess?

Yeah, like a hostess.

I'm here at Fairmount Park, east of the reservoir, where just this morning, two local joggers were savaged by a wild dog, resulting in multiple injuries.

Animal control have been out in force as they attempt to deal with the epidemic of feral animals plaguing this local community.

[Roscoe] I'm not getting anything on a George Grayson.

Yeah, because it's not his real f*cking name, is it?

[car chiming]

Hang on, I'm auto parking. I never trust this thing.

[beeping]

He said he came by train.

Can't you hack into the security cameras at 30th Street and find out where he traveled from?

No, I can't. And you do know that I'm billing you for all of this, don't you?

My brother-in-law will cover all expenses. Just do what you can to find him.

I have a dinner. I'll call you tomorrow.

[line beeping]

[car chimes]

[beeping]

[low growling]

20K. How much you get?

Eight grand.

f*cking eight?

I had to move some sh*t around. Make sure Dorothy didn't notice.

You know, sh*t gets complicated when you're married.

Maybe he's gone for good?

Or maybe he's parked across the street watching us right now?

He slept in a f*cking crib, Sean.

He really scared you, huh?

He came here to scope out the house.

Now that he has, he's gonna be asking for a lot more than 28K.

Well, then I'll sell something, the wine collection.

[stammering] Let's not overreact.

[Julian clears throat]

So, who's up for slaughter tonight?

That fit intern she keeps hating on? Isabelle, what's her face?

It's Natalie.

Natalie? Our Natalie?

What the f*ck are you bringing her here for?

Dorothy fired her. So, Natalie's got it in her head that we gotta wake her up.

Make her see the doll for what it really is.

Well, that could be a problem.

Well, we can deal with Natalie. Leanne... Leanne said she'd help.

We started trusting her when?

When I... [doorbell rings]

Good evening, I'm Leanne.

I'm very sorry about what happened the other day.

Dorothy was telling me about a spate of robberies that were happening in the neighborhood and I thought that you were an intruder.

What exactly do you do here?

Anything that the Turners ask of me.

[gasps] There she is.

You look gorgeous.

I love what you've done with your head.

Oh, God, I wish I had that confidence.

Natalie.

Julian.

We are gonna have so much fun tonight, you guys. I just feel it.

[bagpipes playing]

So how's work, Dorothy? I keep meaning to watch, but I keep missing you.

Well, it's lovely to be back. But there's so much guilt involved.

Jericho still really needs me.

Guilt can be a catalyst to stop a damaging pattern of behavior.

Oh, yeah, and "The longest journey begins with a single step," and "Love conquers all."

Leanne is going to introduce this delicious meal for us. Please...

Today, you will be eating a traditional Scottish meal of haggis, tatties and neeps.

The haggis has been prepared with onions, sheep's pluck, oats and caramelized prunes.

Inside the balloon is essence of heather, in order to accentuate the Scottish heritage of the dish.

[yelps]

[Dorothy giggles]

Bless us, O Lord, and these, your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Amen.

Amen.

Will there be anything else for you tonight, Mr. and Mrs. Turner?

Wine. By the bucket.

There's a bottle of Australian grenache breathing in the cellar.

Would you bring it up?

Yes. Thank you.

[Sean clears throat] When did God enter this house?

Well, we've always had our own private beliefs.

Isn't that right, Sean?

[footsteps on stairs]

[rumbling]

Very, very nice, dear. Adventurous.

I will take your word for it.

Sean can't taste anything. It's causing havoc with his work.

Extreme stress can cause our basic senses to shut down.

One of my patients lost her sight immediately after her partner d*ed.

Oh!

Oh, God. This is just a virus.

Is it?

This is so fun.

It feels like forever since we were last all together.

Actually, Dorothy, it hasn't been that long.

Maybe you don't remember... Natalie, I do hope you're still a smoker.

You know we can't let this go on much longer.

[Dorothy] Let what go on longer? Not having dessert.

We're having cranachan. Leanne?

Why do I feel like you're both trying to obstruct me?

Because you're the only one who thinks this is a good idea.

What's going on?

Dorothy, we need to talk, okay?

I need you to hear me when I say you are not well.

Oh.

I see what this is. [Sean] You do?

Look at all of you.

Look at your faces.

So proud of yourselves for backing me into this corner.

I am especially disappointed in you, Sean.

What do you think I'm doing?

Just this once, I try and take the reins, and this is the reaction I get?

You all think I can't cope.

Oh, poor, poor Dorothy.

She can't possibly know what's best for her.

It was my decision to let you go, Natalie, and I stand by it.

I am a mother now. I am a ferocious lioness.

And I am capable of healing myself.

I don't need kinesiology, or homeopathy, or a stranger looking at my poo under a microscope.

I am She-Ra.

And I am stronger than any one of you know.

She's right.

How do any of us know what's best for Dorothy?

We have caused irreparable harm to that woman.

I mean, she's your sister. Do something.

You saw how she was. Give me this Dorothy any day.

Excuse me. I'm gonna check on my wife.

Hi. [hums]

What are you doing?

I'm bringing him down for a cuddle. Well, get out of my way.

You've been drinking.

You are in heels. You wanna walk down those stairs?

What if something happened to him?

Come here. Oh, yeah.

You'd never forgive yourself.

He's so sleepy. Come on.

I just wanted to show him off.

We will.

Soon. Come on.

[sniffing]

[low growl]

You must find this all so amusing.

Excuse me?

She can be a little nasty at times, can't she?

But it's really all an act. She's quite fragile.

I think that Dorothy is very strong.

How much did those boys tell you about what happened?

Nothing?

That figures.

I was the one that they called.

Pissing themselves with fear, they didn't know which way to turn.

I had to pull them together, show 'em the way out.

What did they do?

There you are.

Dorothy insists that we play a game.

And we mustn't disappoint Dorothy.

Darling, if I were you, I would look for something a bit more stable.

[stereo: woman singing jazz]

[knocking on door]

[Sean] Just a minute!

[growling]

[growling continues]

[growling]

[gasps]

[barking]

Julian!

Julian.

Oh, my God.

[bottle striking] [Julian shouts]

[growling] [women gasping]

[Natalie] Oh, my God. [loud thud]

[Natalie gasping]

Oh, my God, Jericho. Oh, God.

Julian. I got it.

And we'll probably skip dessert tonight, Leanne.

He looks okay to me. I count ten fingers and ten toes.

What was that thing?

Stray dog.

Must have got in through the side gate. Roaming the streets.

You said so yourself.

Is it...

We'll call animal control. They'll take care of it.

Oh, God. If anything had happened to him.

And nothing ever will. Not while I'm around.

Whose is it?

I didn't see a collar.

The f*cking baby, Julian. Whose baby is it?

Yeah, we, uh...

We probably should have told you what was going on sooner.

But, uh, trust me, it was all for your benefit.

It's the nanny. It's that girl.

Yeah. She, uh... She arrived with it.

Some incest r*pe situation.

I don't know all the details, but Sean and Dottie, they're thinking about making a proper home for it.

All legal and aboveboard.

She thinks it's Jericho.

There... There is a passing resemblance.

This isn't what Dorothy needs.

f*ck Dorothy!

What do the rest of us need? We were there too.

Why didn't I get a f*cking doll?

Have you talked to anyone?

About what?

About what you saw.

What we did.

How can I?

I'm not sleeping.

Barely eating.

Nothing gets me hard.

[sighs] Nothing makes this any easier. I just...

I just keep going over... and over it... and over it.

Let me take care of you, Julian.

And how long do you think you'll be?

This isn't a police matter, right? I mean, we had no choice in the matter.

Right.

Yeah, okay, great. Well, please hurry.

Okay. Thank you.

Animal control's on their way.

Hey, hey, it's okay.

[stereo: R & B ballad playing]

Just hold me.

[kissing, gasping]

[both panting]

[ballad continues, muffled]

[sniffles]

[both moaning]

[panting]

[both moaning]

[moaning continues]

I'm sorry, you guys. I think I'm ready to call it a night.

We understand, Dorothy. It's fine.

Can I call you a cab?

[stammering] I'm taking Natalie home with me tonight.

My coat. The girl put it...

Oh, yeah.

I am not giving up on you.

[growling]

[gasps]

[Natalie] Julian.

But if the Lord creates something new, and the ground opens its mouth and swallows them up with all that belongs to them, and they go down alive into hell, then you shall know that these men have betrayed the Lord.

[dog barking in distance]

[dogs barking]

[barking continues]