04x09 - No One Is Alone

[bunniefuu]

[SIGHS]

He's the guy.

- He's the running guy.

- Travis.

Travis!

Travis.

Travis, I didn't know!

Except that you did, and then you stood there, comforting him because he was sad that he k*lled my husband.

Okay, probie, you're last in.

Heavy pressurized smoke, visibility almost zero, yes, go.

- Good.

- Now how do you...

Leads out, everyone together.

Take it block by block as a team and stay low.

Great.

Now go save that dummy.

It's Travis, thank you.

Can you not talk?

You can't talk.

That's cheating.

Go lay somewhere else.

Alright, alright, alright.

Alright, now go save that innocent young girl!

[STOPWATCH BEEPS]

♪♪ There you go, there you go.

Good, good, good.

Nice.

Stay low, stay low.

Ceiling's collapsing!

The ceiling's collapsing!

The ceiling's collapsing!

There you go.

Keep going.

Good job.

Great, great, great.

Good job, good job.

There you go.

[CHUCKLES]

Yay.

You saved me.

[STOPWATCH BEEPS]

[LAUGHS]

Nice job.

- Thanks.

- Yeah.

Uh, let's go again.

I-Is it weird that I kind of wish we could stay in the academy forever?

- Yes.

- Yes.

[BOTH LAUGH]

- Go!

- Yeah.

Alright.

♪♪ ♪ When the buildings fell ♪ ♪ The mountains stayed ♪ ♪ And the grass grew back ♪ ♪ All across the interstate ♪ ♪ Maybe we were born to be brave ♪ Hey.

♪ Bound by a promise we made ♪ ♪ You and me, we got a ♪ ♪ Heartbeat of a hurricane, babe ♪

[LAUGHTER]

- It's a finger!

- Oh.

See?

[LAUGHTER]

That's why you don't play with your food.

Hey.

Wiggins took one more shift off, so I asked Ruiz to cover again.

He seemed to work out well last time.

Wait.

Why?

I mean, why?

She means, "Got it, Cap." Vic, why are you eating day-old sushi for breakfast?

And why are you saying that like it's so weird?

- Because it's a day old.

- That is weird.

- Okay.

- No, sushi is a perfect food.

But it's also : a.m.

BEN: Yeah.

That is a hard no.

- Hard no.

- Okay, people eat salmon on bagels.

But that is, like, smoked, and that is raw.

Yeah.

And it's from the grocery store.

- And it's from yesterday.

- Alright, Montgomery...

Montgomery, would you eat day-old sushi for breakfast?

I have.

And I do.

And I would.

- Nice.

- Of course he would.

Okay, you two are soulmates.

You're on the aid car together today.

- Both of us?

- Yep.

BEN: Let me break down what happens to your digestive tract

- with day-old sushi.

- Don't do it.

Don't do it.

Please.

- I'm just saying, fish, in particular.

- Okay.

- Oh.

- Ohhh!

[LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

You know, it's bad for the environment, both of us driving to work separately.

You know we have to work together, so...

I'm perfectly capable of working with you.

Then we have to talk about it.

There's nothing to talk about.

You've made your stance pretty clear.

How?

Oh, my God.

How?

It's been three days.

You won't even stay in the same room as me.

Well, now your boyfriend's here, so you can talk to him about it.

Oh, my God.

He is not my boyfriend.

Alright, I'll ask you again...

Did you end it with him?

We weren't even anything to end!

- [KLAXONS SOUND]

- DISPATCH: Aid Car requested to East Yesler Way.

- We are talking about this.

- No, we aren't.

Hey.

You're stuck with me again.

Yeah, how's the foot healing up?

Ah, it's fine.

Just bruised.

Would you believe that wasn't the first time a car ran over me?

- No way.

- Yeah.

When I was in high school, I was helping my girlfriend parallel park while also trying to make her laugh.

Don't do those two things at the same time.

Weirdly didn't break then either.

Out of all the superpowers to have, that...

That's the worst one.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah.

[FACETIME RINGING]

Hey.

Oh, Jack, he's freaking out.

He saw a fire truck drive by, and he just had a meltdown.

Hey, buddy, what's up?

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, you?

What...

What's going on?

I-I...

Obviously, he just needed to see you?

Yeah, no, uh, I'll talk to him when I get home.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

Yeah, but I'm gonna go check on him.

Yeah, go.

Go.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Bye.

- That your kid?

- No.

No, my girlfriend's son.

He's just been a little nervous lately.

He keeps asking me how a house fire starts, and he won't go to sleep without a bowl of water and a face cloth near his bed, you know, in case there's a fire

- and he needs to breathe better.

- Right.

Sounds like he doesn't want to lose you in a fire.

I-I get that.

It's just, I don't know what to do because it's my job.

Right.

What about you, man?

Do you have...

Do you have a girlfriend?

Kids?

Just me.

Lean and mean.

'Cause I heard a rumor about you and...

Hughes.

Oh, uh...

no.

- No?

- That's not a thing.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

'Cause, you know, I see you guys making eyes at each other.

You seem to have some good chemistry.

You know, Hughes and I were almost a thing, but then she found out I'm the guy who k*lled Montgomery's husband, so now we're not.

Okay?

♪♪ [SIREN WAILING]

♪♪ I just think if you heard my side...

Okay.

You see this scar?

This one, right here?

Yeah.

Pretty nasty.

[SEAT BELT CLICKS]

How about this one?

How about this one?

You see this one?

- No.

- Exactly.

No scar.

When I had stitches on my ankle, I picked at it and I picked at it and I picked at it, and every time it would start to heal and scab over,

- I'd pick at it again.

- That's gross.

And now look.

Dark scar there forever.

Nasty.

But when I had my chest punctured by a piece of glass...

- I was there.

- ...you know, I didn't mess with it.

I just, you know, kind of let my body do its thing.

And then the blood clotted, and then it scabbed over, and then the red blood cells brought oxygen to the wound, and then the white blood cells fought off infection and then created new collagen and tissue, and I-I didn't interfere with that process,

- even though it hurt.

- [SIGHS]

Not only did it heal quicker...

No scar.

So you don't want to talk about it?

Nope.

Okay.

[SIREN WAILING]

LIBBY: Wake up!

She's been screaming like this for minutes.

Wake up!

Charlie, wake up!

Wake up!

Miss?

Miss, can you tell us what happened?

Please, wake up.

Wake up!

I just saved this kid from an OD three days ago.

- What?

- The guy in the car.

The kid who passed out in his car and ran over your boyfriend's foot.

That's him.

Please wake up.

Wake up, Charlie!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, back up.

Back up.

- It's okay.

It's okay.

- Still breathing.

Has a pulse.

- What's your name?

- L-Libby.

- Libby.

Okay.

- My name is Libby.

Libby, I'm gonna put this on your face.

- You're gonna keep it on, okay?

- No, no.

Stop, no!

No.

Hey!

Libby!

- Oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

- Charlie!

Oxygen t*nk.

I got it.

Okay.

No.

Libby.

Libby, stop.

What did he take?

- You have to help him!

- Okay, I'm trying, Libby, but you have to let me do this!

- He was gonna get better!

- Okay.

I was taking him to detox tonight!

He just wanted to get high one last time!

I-I didn't even get him that much!

What?

What did you just say?

[SOBBING]

Why isn't it working?

It always works.

Always, huh?

How often does your buddy do this?

Not a lot.

He really was done.

He was gonna get better.

Yeah, right.

No.

Look.

We...

We...

We did our phone ritual.

- Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Back up.

- And we...

we've been best friends since seventh grade.

- Okay.

Okay.

- And my first breakup was done on this phone!

Charlie coached me through it!

Now...

Now anytime that we want to break up with someone or... or something, we...

we do it into the phone together first.

Okay.

He was finally gonna do the phone thing for this.

- Okay.

- For the drug stuff.

- Okay.

- He was gonna be done.

He really was done.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪♪ It's supposed to wake him up, right?

What's happening?

Is...

Why isn't he waking up?

What is happening?!

What is happening is, you might have just helped k*ll your friend.

Travis.

[SLURRED]

Oh...

- Charlie!

Charlie.

- Hold on.

Hold on, Charlie.

Hold on.

Take a deep breath.

Oh, my God, Charlie.

Thank God.

Take a deep breath, okay?

Take a deep breath.

Charlie?

- Charlie, take it easy.

Take it easy.

- Where's Libby?

- Libby?

Where's Libby?

- Take it easy.

I'm right here.

It's okay.

Back up, back up, back up, back up.

- Okay.

Just give him some air, Libby.

- It's ok...

No.

No.

No.

[SIGHS]

He's out again.

I'm gonna give him another dose.

Why do we even bother?

I mean, they're just gonna do it again, you know?

We revive 'em, they get fluids, they sh**t up again.

The same, stupid thing, over and over and over.

You need to keep your opinions to yourself.

How is wanting people to do the right thing always seem to make me the unreasonable one?

It doesn't, but thinking you're the only arbiter of the "right thing" does.

[SIREN WAILING]

Libby.

Ah.

Charlie.

No, no, no.

Libby...

Libby is not here.

We're taking you to the hospital, okay?

I'm okay.

Yeah.

Can you...

Can you guys take me home?

No.

We cannot do that.

I'm really okay.

That's because you're pumped full of naloxone, and you need medical attention, okay?

Hey, it was my first time doing dr*gs.

Yeah, we know that's a lie.

Hey, I was trying to quit.

Tonight I was gonna.

We were doing the whole phone thing.

Yeah, the phone thing.

We know.

You know it's not too late, right?

You can still quit tonight.

It's not so easy.

I've tried lots of times.

And how many times have you OD'd?

What?

Who's that?

That is my friend up front driving us.

He, uh, saved you the other night.

At the mall?

TRAVIS: You gotta be kidding me.

No, not at the mall.

In your car.

Oh.

Oh, damn, the guy I ran over?

Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry, man.

No, you didn't run over my foot.

You ran over my partner's boyfriend's foot.

- Yeah, he's not...

- Is...

Is he okay?

Yeah, you know what?

He's not my boyfriend.

Was never my boyfriend.

We went on one date, and we had one kiss, and as soon as you told me who he was, I told him it was over, and that was what you saw.

What I saw was his head on your chest and your arms wrapped around each other.

Oh, Travis.

♪♪ [Kn*fe CHOPPING]

Hey.

I can't believe it.

I found a spot right in front of your house.

Oh, okay.

That means it's gonna work out.

Oh.

You and me.

Is that what the spot means?

Yeah.

Movie parking.

Drive up one second before the show or the reservation or whatever, and bam, parking right in front of the venue.

We're in a terrible, wonderful, unrealistic rom-com.

Oof.

That means we still have annoying hijinks, trials and tribulations, a makeup, a breakup before even happily-ever-aftering, and I gotta say...

I don't know if I have the energy for that.

Oh, why do people even like those movies?

It sounds exhausting.

Ugh.

- Good thing that's not us.

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's a really good thing.

♪ ...the world and make it better than it ever was ♪

Is Theo here?

Oh, my God.

He's my roommate and my best friend.

He probably already knows.

He probably doesn't.

THEO: He does!

♪ That's what they'll say about us ♪

Sorry.

Congrats.

I'm happy for you two.

I really am.

Uh, but do you mind making out just a little quieter?

I'm, you know, studying for the, uh, lieutenant exam.

[LAUGHS]

- Make out quieter.

- Okay.

- You make out quieter.

- You...

You make out quieter.

- I'll show you how it's done.

- You show me how it's done.

Mm.

Hi, Charlie.

It's the third time this month.

Youths.

[GRUNTS]

We were saying goodbye, and he was upset.

Sorry losing you was so hard on him, but he cost me my husband.

Michael.

He was upset about losing...

Michael.

Well, I said I was done talking about this, so I don't even know what I'm doing.

For the record, that is exactly why we are in this situation.

Whatever...

In what situation?

Your whole "let it scab over" pseudo-science crap.

I mean, that's what you did with Michael's death.

You have no idea what I did with Michael's death!

And you did it with your dad,

- and it's what you're doing right now!

- Oh, my God.

You think it's the mature way of doing things, but it's actually the opposite because it's ostrich theory and it's bull.

Oh, excuse me.

You want to talk

- about ostrich theory?

- Right.

Let's talk about you, for a second in all that!

- I don't know what you...

- DISPATCHER: Possible OD, East Yesler Way.

- Wait, isn't that where we just...

- Yeah.

Libby.

Oh.

Um, she stumbled out of that building and, uh, just collapsed as I was passing by.

- Okay.

- Uh, I didn't know what to do.

I-I don't know how to do CPR or anything, so...

- Okay, thank you.

- ...I called .

- Give us some room.

- Thank you.

Everybody, give us some room.

Hey, Libby?

It's your friends, Vic and Travis.

You gotta wake up, okay?

Alright, Libby.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, Libby.

Wake up.

Come on.

Wake up.

[GASPS]

- There you go.

- Okay.

Where's Charlie?

He's at the hospital, and we're taking you there, okay?

- No, but I...

- No, no, no.

Libby, you OD'd.

Just like your BFF.

[SIREN WAILING]

Is Charlie okay?

Is he alive?

He's alive.

You two can go to rehab together.

I'm not going to rehab.

I did the phone thing so he would think I was going, too.

'Cause he really needs to go.

He's gonna die soon if he doesn't stop.

What about you, Libby?

I don't do as much as he does.

You literally just OD'd.

He can't die.

If he dies, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

He's my best friend.

[VOICE BREAKING]

I don't want to have to say goodbye to him.

[SIGHS]

So...

that, uh, thing you said earlier.

Yeah.

Worst day of my life.

Even worse day of Montgomery's life.

Now I'm a husband-k*ller.

Et cetera, et cetera.

This the part where we stop being buddies?

Nope.

Just, uh...

checking in.

You know, my dad d*ed when I was .

He was one of us.

Line of duty.

Made me into a pretty nervous little kid.

Anyway, I was always really grateful, you know, to the guys who stepped up to, uh...

you know, father figure?

My uncles, my dad's fire brothers...

my mom's boyfriend-now-husband, Tom.

He was the best.

I mean, I'm...

I'm doing what I can...

But I was always terrified that I was gonna lose another dad.

You just gotta keep reminding him that you're not going anywhere.

He'll relax.

Ruiz.

Not just a pretty face and a bionic foot.

Name's Libby.

Sats are % on liters after an opiate OD.

Oh.

Busy day.

- Charlie's friend.

- Of course she is.

Thanks.

Hey, guys.

How's it going?

Oh, it's great.

If the coronavirus pandemic doesn't wipe us out, the opiate epidemic will.

Oh.

Okay.

Things still rough between you two?

You know, you should give her a break.

It's not like she's still dating the guy.

That's not the point.

What is the point?

The point is, even after she found out that he was the guy that took everything from me, she still heard his side.

She still heard him out.

I mean, what is...

that?

Um...

that's being a person, I guess?

You are not on her side.

What side, Tr...

You know, you're really sounding like...

Sounding like what?

Like not Travis.

Trav, it's gonna be a lonely life if you don't start to...

I don't know... if you don't start to let it go.

♪♪ Oh.

Oh, my God.

This is the best thing I ever put in my mouth.

Inappropriate.

Oh, gracias.

Pernil is my happy place.

It's my mami's recipe.

Oh, yeah?

My mom hides her recipes from me like they're classified CIA documents.

She thinks if I can make her cooking, I won't come to visit.

You won't.

Hey.

The only thing my mom knows how to cook comes out of a box or a can, so...

Well, at least our kids will have two dads that can cook.

I think.

What I meant to say was our kids respectively.

Like, you know, individual kids is what I meant.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

- Oh, my God.

- Travis Lee Montgomery...

Wait, wait, wait.

Will you...

Oh, twist!

Wait.

Michael Cooper Williams...

- Will you...

- On three?

[LAUGHS]

Okay.

One.

Two.

BOTH: Will you marry me?

Yes.

Wow.

[CHUCKLES]

Aww.

You guys.

I feel bad.

I didn't bring a ring.

Just get in here.

Congratulations, you guys.

Thank you, brother.

You smell like Pernil.

[LAUGHTER]

You have a crush on Emmett.

You said you didn't want to talk about "it," so we're gonna talk about something else.

Do you think that I can just go back to the Travis and Vic comedy hour after seeing you with him?

- How long, then?

- What?

How long until we can go back?

- I don't know.

- Huh?

There's not a timeline, Vic.

I just...

Travis, just stop, please.

You know me.

You were the first non-blood person to become my family.

So you don't actually get to treat me like some kind of scab you somehow don't pick.

So, I am ripping it off!

Ripping what off?

The...

The scab!

- Oh, my God.

- The scab!

I cannot take what a brat you're being right now.

Me?

You are literally throwing yourself out of a... car.

God.

[GROANS]

Alright.

So, what's the plan here?

We're not gonna try to fix this?

We're just done 'cause of this Theo stuff?

Years and years of friendship in the garbage 'cause of some guy?

Ah!

Nope!

Nope!

- Is that...

- Nope!

Not some guy!

Not some guy!

The guy who k*lled my husband!

How are you not getting this?

Travis.

I didn't know.

And then you did.

A-And now, here we are!

Look!

Look at us!

Hey, we're screaming on the side of the street!

Uh, no!

You're the only one screaming.

- I am just trying to talk.

- Well, I'm the only one that has something to scream about, Vic!

Oh, my...

My God.

I could scream about how i-inappropriate and unprofessional you were with those kids today.

- Whatever.

- I could scream about the fact you seem to have lost the ability to care about anyone's feelings but your own.

I could scream about you giving me the silent treatment for four days...

How many times did you see him in the last four days?

...when you could have just talked to me.

I could scream about you just calling me a liar!

- Fine!

You're not a liar!

- What is that?

- You're not a liar.

- What are you doing?

You're not a liar.

You're just reckless and selfish and inconsiderate and void of boundaries to the point of,

- I mean, I don't even know.

- Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Cool list, dude.

Okay, here's mine...

You are judgmental, and you're controlling, and you just...

you just expect everyone to do things in exactly the way you imagine them to be in your brain.

Then when they don't, not only is that person an idiot,

- they're a monster, right?

- Not even a little true.

Well, you did it with your dad.

- Oh, my God.

- You just did.

This has nothing to do with my dad.

- I don't appreciate that at all.

- Okay.

Okay, look, look, Travis, I'm trying to tell you I get it.

I get it.

I get that your dad screwed you up, and I get that Michael's death screwed you up, but you need to understand we are all screwed up.

We are all just trying to figure it out, okay?

Okay, me not wanting you to date the guy that's responsible for my husband's death is not the same...

Oh, my God.

Travis, we are not dating!

...as some will-they-or-won't-they crap!

Stop it!

We are not dating!

I have told you that , times, and you refuse to even...

Even hear it.

It's like you're addicted to being furious.

- Can you see that?

- When Ripley d*ed...

You remember him?

You spent weeks fixated on...

On the...

on the owner of that coffee plant.

- Do you remember that?

- I don't...

You tried to get him thrown in jail for code violations.

- Okay.

Look...

- Do you remember that?

- Now imagine...

Wait.

- Tra...

Imagine if I came to you and I said, "Hey, Vic, remember that guy that k*lled your fiancé?"

- Okay.

- "I think he's pretty hot."

- Travis...

- "Do you mind if we bang?" Stop it.

I don't actually need some kind of sloppy paint-by-numbers example to understand, because I lost someone, too, remember?

- Right.

- Oh, wait, no.

I'm sorry.

You're the only one who gets to nurse their pain.

You don't seem to need to nurse anything, because you're a magic person who just moves on from a loss!

- Magic person.

- Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Oh, okay, there it is!

Okay.

Well, we're not all that elastic, and you know what?

I wouldn't want to be even if it was an option!

At least it's better than being a sad, angry man frozen in time, right?

Because you know what, Travis?

I tried to find a shelf, just one shelf in your apartment to keep my grandma's tea cups, and every single space was taken, and not with your stuff.

Never with your stuff.

Only with Michael's.

Travis, it's been four years.

Yeah, you're right.

- You're right.

- I know.

Yeah.

I'm...

I'm not over him.

I'm not over Michael.

Not even a little.

And I hate it.

I hate that four years on and every morning still feels just as painful and awful and confusing as the day he d*ed, and I hate that I have to find a place to hide that mess...

...every single day to even be a person.

And I hate knowing that no matter how well I hide it, the very next morning, it's just gonna be there waiting for me full force.

- Okay.

- And I don't get how you do that.

- I don't get how you just...

- What?

I mean, did you even care about Ripley?

- Okay.

- Did you?

- Naturally, that was next.

- No, no, no.

Because if you did...

If you did, honestly...

- Why would you...

- ...

If...

If you did care about him, I mean...

Travis, I cared...

I care about him so much...

that I am scared I'm never gonna care about anyone like that again, and...

and just hoping that there's someday gonna be another him is the only thing that's kept me from being entirely consumed by the loss of him.

So, what?

Theo is another him?

I-I don't know.

I...

Maybe.

Maybe, I hoped.

But you know what?

As soon as I found out who he was, it was done...

because you were more important.

I thought about your feelings immediately.

I thought about your feelings exclusively.

And the most painful part about all of this is you haven't thought about mine at all.

Do you realize that?

DISPATCH: Aid Car requested to Livermore Park.

Possible OD.

Get in the car!

♪♪

- Hey!

- Hey.

We really gotta change the locks.

Hey, it's my house, too, huh?

Was.

Was your house.

Alright, well, the guy at the store said this is champagne, but it doesn't say "champagne" on it anywhere.

I think it's only champagne if it comes from the Champagne region.

Otherwise, it's just sparkling hangover.

Mm.

[CORK POPS]

- Whoa!

- Wepa!

- Okay.

Okay.

- Wait.

What are we celebrating?

Well, I have news.

We gathered that.

I'm up for Captain.

- What?

- Yep.

Chief Ripley put me up for Captain.

And since Kennedy's moving up to Battalion Chief, I might even get to stay at .

Huh?

News, news, news, or what?

But you've only been lieutenant for like six months.

The life-span of a water filter.

- Yeah.

- I know.

Wait, how often do you change our water filter?

Every...

six months.

You're supposed to change it monthly.

Okay, I know my way is wrong, but I know for sure a month is too often.

I think a month is just right.

Actually...

It's actually...

Okay, so I'll just celebrate by myself, then.

No, no, no, no, no.

- Here we go.

Here we go.

- No, no, no, no.

- Here we go.

- It's really great.

It's really great.

We're happy for you.

Oh, this is disgusting.

It's really great.

But now I gotta know.

Mnh-mnh.

Your dad would be really proud of you.

- Thanks, man.

- Yeah.

Ha!

It's every two months!

Which is still not one month.

Which is definitely not six months!

Oh, my God.

I'm gonna die of mold poisoning.

Well, you know, a fire might get you first.

I mean, if we're talking odds.

Love me anyway?

I mean, what choice do I have?

You're keeping me dependent on you by slowly poisoning our water, so...

Mm-hmm.

My plan is working.

- Mm.

- [LAUGHS]

♪ There is a riot in the streets ♪ ♪ There is a riot, I can't sleep ♪ ♪ There is a riot in my heart ♪ ♪ There is a welling up in my soul ♪ ♪ Wish I could fix it, make the whole world whole ♪ ♪ And if I could take your pain, I would ♪ ♪ I'd let it all go ♪ ♪ There is a welling up in my soul ♪ ♪ They say that love can heal the broken ♪ ♪ I'll mourn with you until the mornin' ♪ ♪ I'll mourn with you until the mornin' ♪ You're thinking about work, aren't you?

Your body gets tense in a very specific way, and then you stare off into the middle distance like you're trying to figure out access points.

I hate how well you know me.

No, you don't.

I'm thinking about you.

At work.

I mean, are you sure it's a good idea, Theo being your captain?

He's so green.

You two are so close.

Don't you think it's gonna mess with your friendship?

We've known each other years.

I think we can get past some chain of command disagreements.

Well, what if he makes a bad call?

And you got hurt?

What about that?

Didn't think about that.

Hey, firefighters get hurt.

You know that.

Theo's good at his job.

I'll be fine.

Mm.

Mm.

But if I'm not, do you promise to never love again?

I promise to die a lonely, withered old man never having known the touch of another lover.

Yes.

Good.

Same.

♪♪ [SIGHS]

"I'm not that bad," she said.

"I don't need rehab," she said.

[SIGHS]

[BUTTONS BEEPING]

[LOCK BEEPS]

I think you're right.

I think I'm addicted to being furious.

To feeling the rage of his loss.

And it feels...

tied to him.

It feels like if I let it go, I let him go.

I shouldn't have accused you of not caring about Ripley.

That was low.

I learned how to self-soothe when I was like years old.

It's the only bright spot to parental neglect.

Lucas is gone.

And that sucks.

And I have done a lot of things to try to make it suck less, and yeah, maybe it hasn't always worked, but I am trying, Travis.

I'm always trying.

And, you...

You know, I don't know.

Maybe...

Maybe you're right.

It is always gonna suck a little.

But I th...

I think that's okay, 'cause I think it just speaks to how good we got to have it for a second there, you know?

- Look...

- Sorry.

I...

DISPATCH: Aid Car requested to Livermore Park.

Oh, come on.

What is this now?

We were just there.

[KLAXONS SOUND]

Hey, folks.

Can you give us room, please?

He's in there.

Ah, damn it.

It's Charlie.

Charlie?

Char...

Charlie.

Charlie.

Hey.

Charlie.

It's Vic.

Can you hear me?

Can...

Okay, he's not OD'd.

He's just high.

Charlie.

Alright, you're gonna come with us, okay?

Look at me.

[SLURRED]

Ah...

you're so beautiful.

Thank you.

Alright.

We're gonna take you out, though, okay?

You're gonna come to the hospital with us now, alright?

[SIREN WAILING]

Ah.

Libby?

Ah!

Aah!

- Am I still at the hospital?

- No.

You are not in the hospital.

You checked yourself out.

You're in an ambulance, okay?

Right.

I came home, and Libby...

And the neighbor...

told me Libby was dead.

I'm sorry, Charlie.

[VOICE BREAKING]

I just wanted to say goodbye.

Hey.

Why don't you say goodbye right now?

The phone doesn't work.

It's just some stupid thing we used to do.

It's not stupid.

It's not stupid at all.

Because it was yours and hers.

It was your thing.

And she was your best friend, right?

And that's the most important thing in the world.

So just sit here.

Say what you need to say.

Tell her...

Tell her that you're sorry and that you'll do better and that you'll get well.

VIC: Her life has to mean something, Charlie.

And her death has to mean something.

It has to change you, you know?

And maybe if you let it, it can change you for the better, but it won't until you say goodbye.

CHARLIE: Libs.

I gotta be done.

[SNIFFLES]

I gotta be done.

I'm gonna be done, like...

Like you said.

I don't really know how to do that, but I'm...

Yeah, I'm gonna try.

Yeah, I'm...

I'm gonna try.

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna go to the detox place tonight, and...

[VOICE BREAKING]

How do I do this without you?

You're my best friend.

[SOBBING]

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you're gone.

♪♪ ♪♪ [KNOCK ON DOOR]

♪♪ No.

No.

No.

No.

[VOICE BREAKING]

No.

No.

Why?

No.

Why?

Why?

[SOBBING]

Tell me.

Tell me what happened.

They won't tell me what happened.

What?

Theo, tell me.

Please, tell me what happened.

I thought, uh...

I thought the wind was upslope from the east...

[VOICE BREAKING]

so I told him it was safe to shelter in place.

I-I...

I'm sorry.

- What?

- Travis.

- You know I love him.

- Wh...

Wh...

You know, Michael was my b...

Wait.

It was a mistake.

I miscalculated.

I'd...

I'd never...

Travis, you know how dangerous the job is, man.

It...

It could have been anybody, and it could've...

Oh, Travis, come on, man.

We gotta go through this together, man.

- I need you.

- Please get out of the house.

Travis, please, I...

You gotta get out.

Please get out of my house.

Come on, please.

Please get out of my house.

Get out of my house.

- Please...

- Get out of my house.

Get out of this house right now!

Get out!

Please!

Get out of my house!

I'm sorry.

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪♪ [BREATHING HEAVILY]

You see?

There's not always fires, buddy.

The trucks...

well, they're just sleeping.

They haven't seen a fire for days.

Alright, now.

You see how clean they are?

They'd be filthy if they'd seen any action.

Yeah, see, most days, we just, uh...

play board games or, uh, eat snacks.

Great.

Now he's gonna wanna be a firefighter for the board games and snacks.

[CHUCKLES]

Buddy, honestly, if...

If... if a fire even happens, y-you know, I-I promise, I'm a great firefighter, and my friends, they're even better.

I'm gonna be okay.

You ready for bed now?

Okay.

Say good night.

Thank you.

That was a really good idea.

Well, it was actually Ruiz's idea.

Tell him thank you for me.

I will.

- See you in the morning?

- Yeah.

You bet.

- I miss you.

- I miss you.

[SMOOCHES]

Hey.

Thanks, man.

- Yeah.

- I, uh...

I know how it is.

Losing a dad?

Well, that, too, actually, but, um...

being responsible for the death of a brother.

Rigo Vasquez.

Vasquez?

That was you who, uh...

You and Eva.

So you knew him?

Not a lot of Latino dudes in SFD.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Uh...

I-I get it if you hate me now.

Yeah, it's, uh...

it's a tough job.

And sometimes people die.

I don't have it in me to hate you tonight.

Maybe tomorrow.

Cool.

♪♪ Chief Ripley.

That was you, wasn't it?

Who was dating him when he d*ed.

How do you know that?

We all heard he was dating a firefighter.

- There were rumors.

- Can you?

Yeah.

[CLEARS THROAT]

But, uh, I had forgotten the name.

Didn't put it together till today.

I remember Montgomery rang the bells.

Uh, I couldn't stand watching him up there, knowing what he was feeling.

I almost bolted.

You were at Ripley's funeral?

He's the one who made me Captain.

And then, uh...

after Michael...

When I asked for a demotion, he tried to...

He tried to fight me on it.

But he got it, though.

He was a good dude.

He was a really good dude.

I'm sad.

Is that weird?

Pretty normal to feel sad about a breakup.

Is it a breakup if it was never a thing?

I think it might be worse.

Theo was Michael's you.

[SNIFFS]

Him and Michael, they went through academy together.

They were probies together.

Roommates.

Theo was a legacy kid, so he rose up the ladder faster than Michael or I, but...

we were best friends.

The three of us.

And then suddenly...

Michael d*ed.

And it was Theo's fault.

Must have sucked to go through that without your best friend.

You know, I hate this weird part after a friendship fight...

You know, after it's done, when you still both feel kind of icky and awkward and not back to normal with each other.

Yeah, in a relationship, you just have sex.

Vic, for the millionth time, I'm not gonna have sex with you.

- [LAUGHS]

- Why not?

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪♪ ♪♪ Hi!

Hi, I'm the probie.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

Are you...

No.

I'm...

I'm...

It's nothing.

I'm, uh...

I'm Travis Montgomery.

I'm Vic.

Hughes.

Are you sure you're okay?

- Yeah.

- You wanna talk about it?

- I'm pretty good at listening.

- No.

I do not want to talk about it.

That's cool.

I'm better at not listening.

[CHUCKLES]

Lucky you.

[LAUGHS]

Do you need a locker?

Yeah.

You wanna take that one?

It's open.

- Thanks.

- Yeah.

Welcome to , Hughes.

Welcome to Hughes, .

[LAUGHS]

What?

Nothing.

[LAUGHS]

♪♪ [SIGHS]

Hey, um, Michael...

Hey.

You remember when we won that trip to the Maldives, and I was a disaster for the first two days, obsessing over how much time we had left, and, uh, making myself sick and sad about how we only had a week?

You said that I should try to enjoy the this of this, instead of worrying about the end of this.

And, of course, you were right.

But I couldn't shake it.

[CHUCKLES]

And then you got pissed...

and you said, "Travis, yes, this week is going to end, but it is already ours.

It is in our head and belly and bones.

It is already ours forever." Man...

that was, like, the best advice in the world.

[VOICE BREAKING]

And I can't believe I forgot it.

I'm sorry.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

You're, uh...

You're not here anymore, and the Maldives are literally sinking into the sea.

[SNIFFLES]

But you were right.

I will always have both in my head, belly, and bones.

So I should probably stop fixating on the end of them.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]