01x18 - Flashback-a-Rooney

[bunniefuu]

I am calm.

I am relaxed.

I am a happy tree.

You are making it very hard to be a happy tree!

Sorry, Liv, I'm just I'm losing my mind waiting for this letter that will tell me if I made tryouts for the junior Olympics.

Junior Olympics.

It's just the chance to play basketball for my country and travel the world for a year and score a bangin' team usa duffel bag.

You know what It's no big deal.

It's the biggest deal ever.

Bam.

What?!

I just got home and now she might be leaving for some once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to represent our country as a junior olympian?

How selfish can she be?

Maddie, I totally hope you do get to do your basketball audition.

Okay, well, it's called a tryout.

Well, whatever it is called, I hope you break a leg.

Maddie.

This was on the porch.

My letter!

I'm going to throw up.

Okay.

Okay you open it.

Don't touch it!

Okay.

Okay.

Ready?

Socks?

"You have been pranked by Joey. " Booyah!

Should be booyah.

Better in stereo b b better in stereo I'm up with the sunshine let's go I lace up my high tops oh no slam dunk ready or not yeah, show me what you got I'm under the spotlight holler I dare you, come on and follow you dance to your own b*at I'll sing the melody when you say yea-ah-ah I say no-oh-oh when you say stop all I want to do is go, go, go you, you, the other half of me, me the half I'll never be-e the half that drives me crazy you, you, the better half of me, me the half I'll always need but we both know we're better in stereo.

Boom!

That is 14 in a row.

Where's your defense, little man?

It is three feet below your shoulders, that's where.

How is this even fun for you?

I'm done here.

Oh, come on.

One more?

I'm just trying to keep my mind off Maddie and the junior Olympics.

I really don't want her to leave.

Have you heard anything?

I keep my nose out of such affairs.

Come on.

One more game?

Why don't you just get Joey to play with you?

He's not leaving for his pottery class for a little while.

Wait a minute Pottery class?

He told me he was meeting with his zombie appreciation society.

Wait, he's lying to us?

Why would you lie about doing either of those things?

Unless you're doing something even more pathetic.

What do you think he's up to?

I don't know.

Just when you think you have a munch all figured out, he throws you a curveball.

Maybe he has a secret girlfriend.

Okay, look we need to figure out what Joey's hiding.

Last time he had a secret, I woke up with 64 white mice in my bed.

Wait, so are you saying this is an affair you would stick your nose in?

Ah, Diggie My nose goes where it's needed.

Hey, Rooney.

Did you hear anything from the junior Olympics people?

Ah, no.

Still no letter.

- Wow, seriously?

- I said no letter!

I'm sorry, I was just hoping for good news about the tryouts.

Oh!

Wow.

Okay, so you're saying you want me to move away for a year?

That's not what I'm saying at all.

Oh, okay.

So then you don't want me to make the team?

Oh, wow.

No.

I want what you want.

Mm-hmm.

Exactly as much as you want it.

Hey, Maddie.

Hear anything from junior Olympics?

No!

I swear, if one more person Hey, Maddie!

Did you hear Yes.

Thank you for taking the bouncing upstairs, Maddie.

It is so much better!

Sorry.

Any sign of the mail?

No.

You know what I'll check again.

Even though it's only been eight minutes since the last time.

I'm sure the mailman is standing right there about to knock.

Got a certified letter for Maddie Rooney.

Okay.

Have a good day.

Bye.

Junior Olympics.

Did it come?

Um Did you see that moment of hesitation where I almost did the right thing?

No.

No mail here.

It was brief.

But it was there.

Dude, what are you wearing?

We are not following Joey into the jungle.

You don't know that.

So Maddie might move away and now you're dressed like a shrub.

I got big problems, kid.

Leave them at the door.

We have work to do.

I installed a GPS tracking app on Joey's cell phone Would you believe his password was "1234"?

What a munch.

Total munch.

Hey, can you teach me how to change the password on my phone?

My GPS app just said Joey entered the school.

We just saw Joey enter the school.

I know.

This thing's good, huh?

Okay, I just don't get it.

Who would mysteriously sneak out at night just to come back to school?

A teenage superhero who uses Ridgewood high as his bat cave.

I knew his dorkiness was just too dorky to be anything but a secret identity.

Dude, I can't believe I have to say this out loud, but Joey is not a superhero.

Now I'm embarrassed I brought it up.

Someone's coming.

Hide!

Hide!

Boom!

Jungle.

You're welcome.

What are you two doing here?

We're superheroes and this is our bat cave?

I didn't open Maddie's letter, but I struggled for hours about what to do with it.

In the end, I decided there really only was one right thing to do.

Hide it long enough for her to miss tryouts.

Yeah, it turns out that the toilet t*nk is not a great hiding place.

Mm, and There.

Oh, hair dryer.

Is there any problem you can't solve?

f-y-information, life is going to get a lot more complicated for you both when you grow up.

Liv, honey, can I come in?

Uh Okay, yeah.

Come on in.

Hey.

How are you doing?

Oh!

So good.

I am phenomenal.

I am just great.

Poor Maddie has been out on that basketball court all night.

She is so anxious waiting for this letter to arrive.

It's just cruel that they make her wait so long.

It is so cruel.

I have just been a nervous wreck thinking about another one of my babies leaving the nest.

But you, you're right there.

Supporting your sister.

It's just like this picture you two made.

"Sisters by chance, friends by choice.

" You know you girls live that every day.

Every day?

Ha ha!

Twice on Sundays.

Oh, I remember the night you were leaving for Hollywood.

Mom, mom, guess what.

What is it, Maddie?

We played basketball at recess today and I was better than everyone.

Even the boys.

Bam!

- What?

- Bam!

What?

Ooh, I like that.

Bam!

What?!

What is happening?

Joey, Parker just follows you around because he worships the ground you walk on.

It is cute that he can't take his eyes off of you.

So that's why he poops with the door open.

He'll grow out of that.

Appreciate the offer.

What offer?

Bluetoothin', babe gotta bail, brah.

Okay, here's aunt Dina's number in case you need to get ahold of us in L.

A.

Keep it someplace safe.

Got it.

There she is.

Look out, Hollywood.

It is Liv Rooney.

I had the most amaze-a-licious idea.

Instead of saying the name of my show, I should always sing it.

Sing it loud!

That's gonna get old.

Gonna?

All right, everybody.

Time to take mom and Liv to the airport.

Wait.

I need a twin moment.

Are they gonna hug or fight?

I never know.

Look, I could be gone for a long time.

You say the word and I won't leave.

You have to go, Liv.

I'm going to miss you.

But this is your dream.

Thanks.

That means everything to me.

Now go out and show Hollywood how we do it in Stevens Point.

Bam!

What?!

Yeah, don't do that.

Wow.

Thank you, mom.

Really needed that reminder of how selfless my sister was.

I would be a monster not to do the same thing for her.

Oh, a hideous monster.

All righty.

You figured out my secret.

I'm in a drum circle.

We're called the bucketstreet boys.

Go ahead.

Make fun.

Joey, that was awesome.

And you know I die a little inside every time I compliment you.

I was really impressed too, Joe.

Yeah, no one's taking you seriously right now, Diggie.

Stand down, soldier.

Stand down.

So what's with the sneaking around?

Well, you know, some of my guys are a little shy.

A lot shy.

So we've been rehearsing in private.

But we're going public tomorrow between fifth and sixth period.

Whoa that's hallway rush hour.

That's the point.

We're gonna stop traffic with our insta-jam and pick up some insta-hallway cred.

That's cool.

I mean, you just became slightly less munchy.

I just don't get why you keep the one thing you do well a secret.

One thing.

Clearly you have never seen me give medicine to a cat.

Maddie couldn't sleep so she was practicing free throws.

Whatever those are.

And have you ever noticed how a bouncing basketball sounds like guilty secrets trying to pound their way out of your skull?

- Sisters by chance - Friends by choice.

- Sisters by chance - Friends by choice.

What is happening?

Sisters by chance Friends by choice.

Sisters by chance Friends by choice.

Sisters by chance, friends by choice.

I felt like the picture was trying to tell me something.

And it seems to me that if a picture comes to life, you should probably listen to it.

Give her the letter!

Fine.

But you had better be asleep by the time I get back, young ladies.

Maddie!

Look what just came.

It's your letter from the junior Olympics.

Oh, finally!

Wait, this just got here?

It's midnight.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's this new feature that the post office has where they wait until the last second to deliver something important to build excitement.

It's called It's called "antici-post.

" Liv When did this letter really get here?

Okay, so it got here this morning.

What?!

You had this all day?

Hey!

You cannot blame the messenger.

Well, I can if the messenger never gave me the message.

Now, what is going on out here?

Liv hid my junior Olympics letter all day!

What?!

Olivia Rooney.

Yeah, you see that That is the face of an appalled mother.

You appalled her because you are appalling.

I wouldn't say mom looked appalled.

She just looks kind of worn out.

Liv, you tried to sabotage me.

I would never sabotage your dream like that.

Well, now, Madison, that's not totally true.

Do you remember five years ago?

Liv's audition DVD?

We are not talking about five years ago, Karen.

No, I think I'd like to hear Karen's story.

Say goodbye to Hollywood, Liv.

Maddie, stop.

What are you doing?

I'm destroying Liv's audition video.

I don't want her to leave.

Honey, no.

No, I know this is going to be hard, but this is Liv's dream.

We have to let her try.

If she doesn't, she will always wonder what might have happened.

You're right, mom.

I once passed up a chance to move to Indianapolis to fill a coveted spot in a regional production of "Oliver" as street urchin #3.

I carry that regret with me every single day of me life.

You almost destroyed my audition DVD?

- Liv, I - No, no.

Ha!

It's cool.

Wow, for a while there, I thought I was the evil twin.

But it turns out we're both evil.

Samesies!

You can't call samesies.

I was like 10.

Okay.

I think we should focus less on the evil that you share and more on the love.

Neither one of you wanted the other one to leave.

Maddie, she's right.

I mean, I moved back to Wisconsin to be with you.

I'm not ready to let you go.

So yeah.

I hid your letter.

I'm sorry.

Well, I mean I get it.

Your heart was in the right place.

Liv, just know that whatever is in this letter We're never going to lose what we have.

That's right.

You'll always be sisters by chance, friends by choice.

Yeah, so let's not say that out loud anymore.

Open your letter.

Open the letter.

Yeah, open the letter.

Okay, fine, I will Diggie?

What are you doing here?

Just walking by.

Thought I'd say hello.

Oh.

Weird.

But sweet.

Open the letter.

I made tryouts.

I made tryouts!

This is huge.

I am so proud of you.

Wait, I have to be in Chicago for tryouts in six hours?

I'm never gonna make that.

Six hours?

Oh!

Six hours.

What have I done?

Okay.

Um, no no no.

You know what?

I can help.

I can have you packed in 5 1/2.

Whoo!

Huh.

This says tryouts are next weekend.

I know.

Oh, but did you see her jump?

Maybe I am the evil twin.

Am I too late for the insta-jam?

I got a bathroom hall pass from my teacher, but I didn't tell her what bathroom.

Guys, you made it.

By the time sixth period starts, you'll be able to say, "Joey Rooney I knew him when.

" Attention, Ridgewood!

Get ready to get rhythm!

Really?

Seriously, now is not the time to be shy.

Oh, man, this is terrible.

We have to do something.

You're right.

I have an immobilizing dart g*n in my pocket.

We can say he was dehydrated.

I think I have a better idea.

Thanks, man.

Now, are you guys drummers?

Or are you bummers?

Well, the joke is on you.

Because Joey's out there with the captain of the basketball team.

And you guys are just standing here, getting lectured by a fifth grader.

Hey, Joey, we got the band back together.

Oh ho ho!

All righty.

- Way to go, Joey!

- Not now, Diggie.

They love me.

Oh.

So how'd it go?

Did you make the team?

Well, they said she had a lot of potential.

And she was one of only three sophomores invited to try out.

Yeah, they they said I did a really great job and they said for me to keep practicing.

- Oh, Maddie.

- I'm so sorry.

Yeah, because we start in ten weeks.

I made the team!

Bam!

What?!

Did you see their faces?

I didn't give it away.

I didn't give it away!

Oh, Maddie, I am so proud of you.

Thanks, mom.

Wow, I'm really going to miss you, Rooney.

But I'll be here waiting for you when you come back.

Thanks, Diggie.

No way.

Ahem!

So, um I could be gone for a really long time.

You just say the word Don't go!

Forget your dreams.

What?

I'm totally kidding.

You have to go.

I already made plans for your half of the room.

Thank you for watching my audition video.

I would love to be your Stephanie Einstein on "Sing it loud!" That was great, honey.

Now you go on up to bed and we will mail this out tomorrow.

Thanks Mom.

Okay.

Sleep well, honey.

Hello Hollywood.

Hope you enjoyed Liv.

She's adorable.

But while we have you here, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for Stephanie's mom, Alberta Einstein.

Now, I don't have a script, but here's how I imagine this character would be.

Hello.

Well, I didn't see you there.

The name's Einstein.

Alberta Einstein.

Hey, honey, You want some popcorn?

Yeah, sure.

That'd be great.

Again, I hope you'll consider Karen Rooney for the role of Alberta Einstein.

Thanks.

Cheers.