02x13 - You Don't Know What You've Got

[bunniefuu]

...On the Secret life of American Tennger.
You wanna help me out?

Then I'll just be
a teenage mother enabler.

Mom, you're gaining weight.
You're tired all the time.

How could you be pregnant
at your age?

I don't mind
if my dad dates.

I just don't see her
as stepmother material.

Jack and I are having sex
for the first time.

You can't keep jack
just by having sex with him.

You're absolutely sure
that the vasectomy worked,
right?

I feel stronger
than I ever have.

We just had sex.

Marshall's dead.

We're gonna have a baby.
Yep.

I got you this.

It's beautiful.

I was wondering
what you would think
if I asked your mother

if the three of us
got a house together.

Really? We could move
to a house?

How would you like to go
to Italy this summer?
To Bologna?

What would I do there?
Work at your uncle's hotel.

I don't want you to have sex
with any other guys.

Will you marry me?

I feel a little funny
about giving you a car...

What is this,
some kind of a bribe?

If that's the way
you want to look

at a brand-spanking-new
SUV.

I'm Griffin. You want
to have lunch with me?

You make it sound
as if it's a date.

I'm gay.

I think that's my baby, Anne.

Yeah, I think it is, too.
I love you.

Did you see Madison
a lot last summer?

It was nothing.
We just had a few meetings
of the Dead Parents Club.

So we're getting a brother?
Yep. It's a boy.

I'm never gonna
have sex again with you.

You know I care about you.
I love you, Adrian.

I met someone. A guy.

Jeff, this is my son Tom.
You're the boyfriend?

Hey, uh, when do you think
you might be coming here?

It's my new house.
I live in a house now.

I wanna have sex.
What are we supposed
to do, Jack?

Oral sex.

Aren't you afraid
that one day

Amy will move away
and take John with her?

I don't guess there's anything
I can do but follow her.

The baby is coming right now!
George!

I'm gonna have to
deliver this baby.

And you think you'll lose her

if your friend from Italy
comes over here.

What do you wanna name him?
I was thinking maybe your dad.

Robert Scott Juergens.

I take it Jack went home?
Yeah, he went home.

I'm breaking up with him.

Whose boy are you?

She's coming here?
Now?
Yeah.

Her dad has
a business trip planned,

and she wants to come with him
to see me.

Did you ask her
to come with him so that Amy
would break up with you?

No, she's a friend.
She's just a friend.

So you didn't even have to
ask her to come here now
to break you up with Amy?

No, she just decided
to come now.

I told her
to come in the summer.
In the summer.

I was over there in the summer,

so I thought that she should
come here in the summer.

I thought that she and Amy
could hang out with me
in the summer

just like I hung out with her
and her friends in the summer.

Not the same. That was
your platonic girlfriend
you hung out with?

Did you tell her that Amy
is your platonic friend?

No, I did not. I just said
that she was my girlfriend.

Was. Not is. Was!
What else did you tell her?

I told her not to come.
I swear.

She said if she came here now
with her dad, maybe I could
go back there this summer.

Maybe you could go
back to Bologna in the summer?

Of course you can go back
to Bologna next summer

if you have no reason
to be here next summer.

I feel sick to my stomach.
You've felt sick to your stomach
for a couple of months.

So get it over with.
If you're gonna break up with
her, break up with her already.

I can't.
I-- I just can't.

Do it!
And do it yourself.

Don't let Amy break up with you
because your Italian girlfriend
is showing up.

Break up with her because
you don't want to be
with her anymore,

because that's the honest
and manly thing to do.

If you love her,
if you ever loved her,
break up with her.

You waited this long.
Just let it play out.

You think so?
Yeah, I do.

Hank!

That's me.
I gotta go.

Hi.

Hi.

What?

What are you up to?
Up to?

Yeah. Up to. We can tell
you're up to something.

What? No, I'm not up
to anything.

Amy may be too busy to notice,
but we're not.

Notice what?
That you're thinner

and paler and "nervousier."

That's not even a word.
You're supposed to be
a wordsmith, Madison.

Speaking of which,
I gotta get to English class.

You've got time
to talk to us.

Talk to us. Are you trying
to break up with Amy?

What would make you say that?

Because you didn't say,

"No, I most certainly am not
trying to break up with Amy."

You said, "What would
make you say that?"

Which makes us think
that you are.

And I'll tell you something,
sausage prince.

Our Amy's been through hell.
Through hell, I tell you.

And you are not
gonna break up with her.
Not now, not ever!

The only way that you
are ever, ever getting out

of this relationship
is if she wants out.

Yeah. If she wants out.
And she doesn't want out.

What is going on here?

Who said
that I was gonna?

Oh, God.

Better be the swine flu.

Even if it isn't,
he's a pig.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.
And we gotta keep that pig
in our sights

until we know
what he's up to.

Yeah. We owe that to Amy.

Do we have to go home?

Well, you missed two days
of school already.

Well, I brought my books.
I'm studying.

My grades are a lot better
this year.

I love, love, love
getting away with you.

Just us and the babies.
It's been so nice.

This place is great.
You can smell the ocean
from here.

Please, Mom? Let's stay.
Maybe we shouldn't have lied.

We had to. There's no
"I can't deal with my life"
holiday for moms and daughters.

Amy--
Mom, as soon
as we leave here,

we're gonna have to go back
to our regular lives.

You're gonna have to
take care of Mimsy,

and I'm gonna have to
go back to school.

Just one more day.

*Falling in love Is such an easy
thing to do*

* Birds can do it We can do it*

- Let's stop talking
Let's get to it *

"Let's fall in love "

What's going on?

Nothing. I'm not, uh--
I'm not feeling well.

I think I may go home.
No, that's not it.

I beg your pardon?
Are you breaking up with Amy?

That's between Amy and me.
So you are.

I don't know.

But I can't talk to you
about this.

If I talk to anyone,
it's gotta be Amy.

I'm begging you,
don't do it.

What?

The gene for red hair
is recessive.

Wait. Repeat that part.

The gene for red hair--
it's recessive.

Recessive, huh?
Yeah.

Is Amy's mother's hair
really red, or does she just
color it red?

Um, I think
it's really red.
Why?

Oh, nothing.

Something.

No. Nothing.

But did you ever
meet her boyfriend?

No, I didn't. Why?

Come over after school.

Again, why?

Because we haven't had
any time to hang out together.

Because you haven't spent
more than five minutes
away from Ricky lately.

It's not what you think.

Oh. Yeah. Sure.

It's not sex.
It's not.

What, you just suddenly enjoy
spending time together?

No, not suddenly.
We've always enjoyed
spending time together.

I always enjoyed
spending time with Jack
until we started having sex.

You had sex once.
And a half.

Okay, wait.
Once and a half?

You know what I mean.
Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I know what you mean,
girlfriend.

Look, I just--

I just don't think
you gave it a chance.

So you and Ricky...
The two of you...

We do.

Both of you?
Yes, both of us.

I just think
it's unnatural.

Okay. Each to his own.

But...

Well, maybe Jack
was just not experienced at it.

Do you know
he's not experienced at it,

or are you guessing
he's not experienced at it?

I'm guessing.

Hey, private
conversation here.

Geez.

Maybe I'm no good at it.

Because it was me,
not Jack.

I was just gonna do it
because it was,

you know, not a good time
to have sex.

Wait. So he didn't...

No, he-- he didn't.

Okay.

Uh...

Okay, look,

no one is not good at sex.

You know, there's not really
a good and a bad sex.

It's just, uh,
it did make you feel good,

or it didn't
make you feel good.

Or it's right for you,
or it's wrong for you.

Or you're glad you did,
or wish you hadn't.

But-- But there's not really

a good or bad.

At least that's my opinion.

Well, it was wrong for me,
and it didn't make

either of us feel good,
and I wish we hadn't.

All right, all right.
We'll just find you
a new boyfriend.

I can't do that.
Why? He has.

He has not.
That's what I heard.

Madison?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.
It's someone new.

Okay, you can't do that.

Okay, don't do that.
We're at school.

I don't wanna be at school.
I wish I was anywhere
but school.

You could come over
to my house if you want.

Yeah. Okay.
Or we could do something.

Like...

Like skip school
and go somewhere.

Where?
I don't know. Haven't you
ever taken a day off?

No, I'm--
I like school.

I like school, too,
but I just can't be here today.
I have to get away from here.

I'm in.

You can't be in.
You've got football practice.

You already missed
one game this year.
You've got band practice.

I'm not in
the marching band anymore.

I'm just doing orchestra.
I have to work now.

You're not
in the marching band?
No, I'm not.

I tried, but I couldn't
keep up with the schedule.

I have responsibilities now.
I have John.

I can miss practice.

Maybe I have the flu
or something.

I can come back tomorrow,
feel better,

and I don't miss a thing.

I had the flu.
I don't have the flu.

You can't do that.
That's what I'm using-- the flu.

You don't have the flu.
You don't have the flu.

I don't have the flu.
Just walk out.

Come on. Let's do it.

Maybe it's not too late
to fix things, okay?

Maybe you and Jack
can get back together

before he gets serious
about this girl.

Just tell me
who he's dating.

I don't know her name.
I just heard he was
dating someone.

And you should, too.

Hey, maybe Ricky knows someone
you can go out with.

Doubt it.

Oh, hey, hey. Um,
do you know where Ricky is?

Oh, he left
with Ben and Jack.

He left?

Yep.

Let's get out of here.

Get out of here? I have
three minutes to get across
the school to get to algebra.

Forget it. Don't go.

You don't need algebra.
You need to get out of here.

What? Are you talking about
what I think
you're talking about?

I'm just talking about leaving
school for a little off-campus
lunch and a little fun.

That's it.
Can go?

Oh, uh, hi, Ashley.

You're ditching school?
Yeah.

No, we are not.
We would never do that.

I would,
if I got the chance.

Won't your sister rat you out?
Who's gonna tell her?

Probably the principal
when we all get caught.

So you're going?
Come on. Let's get out of here
before the bell rings.

"Get out of here"?

If you're leaving here,
you're taking me with you.

Okay, fine.
Let's go.

Okay, what was
that about?

We don't know.
You tell us.

I can tell you.
Ricky, Jack and Ben

have all left the building,
and they're following them.

I bet this has
something to do
with Ben and Amy.

Is he gonna
break up with her?
No, he's not.

Ben's not breaking up
with Amy.

Then why is he
acting so weird?

Because he is weird.
Come on.

Where are we going?
Wherever the rest of them
are going.

Wow.
We're skipping school?
We can't skip school.

I have a license.
I have a car.
Let's bounce.

Yes?

Miss Bink?
- Dr. Bink.

Doctor, huh? PhD?

That's still a doctor.
What do you want, punk?

A little respect.
Earn it.

You were fired
from you last job

for having sex
with a student,

you received your PhD
from the Internet,

and your husband left you...
for another guy.

1, The other guy
was his cousin.

2, There are
some excellent schools
on the Internet.

And 3, The student
to whom you are referring

was 18 before
we went to the prom.

And we did it
as a political statement.

And there was no sex involved.

I just like to dance.
What's your point?

My point is
maybe this time,

you'd like to establish
yourself as a real counselor

and not just a dancer.

I can help you with that.

Go on.

In return, I would want
certain benefits.

We're not talking
quid pro quo.

We are.

I see. What do you have for me?

May I?

Where was I?

Students leaving campus
to have sex.

Ben Boykewich,
son of Leo Boykewich,
the Sausage King--

the Sausage King is single,
by the way--

loaded and single,

although he's engaged
to a hooker-

So Ben left campus

with the all-star
quarterback Jack Pappas,

who just broke up
with his girlfriend

because he wanted...

oral sex from her,
and she said no.

Oh, and driving them
is the drummer.

Ricky Underwood.

Yeah, that guy.

In the other car is Adrian Lee,

the school slut,

along with her best friend,

the "still Christian
but former virgin,"
Grace Bowman,

who would not have oral sex

with the aforementioned
quarterback.

And with the two of them
is Ashley Juergens.

Ashley.

Try to keep her out of it.

Because you have a thing
for her?

No, because she'd k*ll me--

she and her protector,
this Griffin guy.

He's the only guy
in the girls' car.

He's-- He's gayer
than Gary Garrison.

That's pretty gay.

Yeah.

Not that anyone has
a problem with it--

no one who's comfortable
with their own sexuality,
at least.

Anyone else?

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

There's a clown car
with the sidekicks.

Henry and Alice, whose
relationship is so hot

it's contributing
to global warming.

And with the two of them
is Lauren and Madison.

Lesbians?

Not yet,

but maybe down the line.

And they've all left campus
to have sex together?

No, no, no, with just
whoever they can find.

Any idea where these alleged
trysts will be taking place?

Let's talk about me
for a minute.

What's going to happen
with you and me?

Firstly, no sex.

And secondly?

Secondly, if you bust them,

it will be the biggest bust

in the history
of Grant High School.

Which means I can do
pretty much anything I want.

As long as I'm not anything.

Listen,
I'm not going to jail

for you or any other minor
who wants to sleep with

or even dance with
a professional educator.

I have learned my lesson.

What the hell's
he doing in there?

He's probably
getting a sweater.

It's 75 degrees out.

He likes layers.
Haven't you ever noticed?

That Ben likes layers?

No. Why would I notice that?

Thought it was noticeable.

So I guess you heard.

I heard you broke up,

and I don't want to know
anything about it.

She was having her period,
so I thought maybe she--

Shut up. I just said
I don't want to know
anything about it.

And if you have to ask
a woman to do that,

then obviously she
doesn't want to do that.

You two shouldn't
be having sex.

You shouldn't
be having sex.

I'm not having sex.

I'm just letting Grace
think

I'm having sex
with someone else.

Because?
Because then she'll
want me back.

I mean, she wants me back.
I know she wants me back.

It's just an ego thing.

I got all tied up
with what happened--

or didn't happen.

So I'm going to let her
think I want someone else,

and that'll give her
a reason to come after me.

It's a win-win.
Or a lose-lose.

What if she decides
to get another boyfriend

because you're having
sex with someone?

No, it's not going to happen.

Why not?
Because Adrian's
helping me.

Helping you how?

You and Adrian
are not having sex,

any kind of sex.

Of course not.

There's no of course not.

You had sex with her before.

One time.

She's just telling Grace
I'm seeing someone else

so Grace will want
to go back with me.

Adrian agreed to do that?

Yeah.

When are you talking
to my girlfriend?

Uh...

No more talking to Adrian.

Don't get her involved
in your problems, okay?

All right.

I think that's your phone.

Yeah?

Aren't you going to answer it?

No, I'm not.

I have to answer it.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. Who's this?

This is the school counselor

calling to find out
why you're not in class.

Coach, is that you?

No, it's not Coach.

It's Dr. Bink.

Dr. Bink?

Yes. New counselor.

Are you truant, Mr. Pappas?

I had a groin injury,

if that's what you're
talking about.

Who is that?
The counselor.

And who is that?

Would that be Ricky?

No, that's not Ricky.
That's, uh, my dad.

He had to pick me up
from school

because of the truancy.

Truant means
you're absent from school.

It's not a disease, moron.

Your father is correct.

May I speak with him, please?

Uh, he can't talk
while driving.

It's against the law.

I'm going to have
to call you back.

We have to go back.

No, we don't.

What the--

What are you doing, man?

I thought that if we're
going to take the day off,

we should do it in style.

Wow. Thanks.

You can't drive that car.

You don't have a license.

Even if you did,
you're a bad driver.

You just hit a parked car.

You can drive.
Oh, no.

I'll drive.
All right. You can drive.

Are you insane?

What if something
happens to the car?

Your dad will k*ll you,
and then he'll k*ll me.

I'll take
full responsibility.
Let's go.

This is a bad idea.

What are you,
a wuss?
A what?

Hey, guys,

my dad took off
with Betty for the day.

It's her birthday.

They're not going to be
back until late tonight.

Come on. It'll be fun.

I need to have some fun,

even if it's just car fun.

So where are we going
to meet guys?

It's a surprise.

I don't like surprises.

Surprises are fun.

You should have some fun.

You need to go out there
and have a good time.

I can't have a good time

unless I know where we're
going to have a good time.

We don't have to go anywhere.

Just driving around
without my family

is a good time for me.

How's your dad with the--

What? The lawn?

Yeah. The lawn.

Oh, he was not
going to say lawn.

What's going on
at your house?

Nothing.

Nothing's ever going on
at my house.

We're one of the most
normal families

in the whole state
of California.

We are one of the most
normal families

in the whole country.

We are one of the most
normal families

in the whole world.

You are not even
the more normal family

in the neighborhood.

I didn't say we were.

How's your mom
and the new baby?

Why? What have you heard?

Nothing. I'm just asking.

Oh, yeah? And how's
your mom and her new baby?

She doesn't have a new baby.

I think she's referring
to the boyfriend.

Does everybody know about that?

Yes.
Yes.

Uch. I hate him.

Grace, I thought Christians

weren't supposed
to hate anyone.

Okay, I don't hate him.

I just hate that he's
dating my mother.

Because?

Because she's
still in mourning

for my father.

She is.

We all mourn
in different ways.

Oh-ho-ho.

Sorry.

You'll feel better
when you find

someone
to go out with.

Maybe you should
date an older guy,

maybe someone your mother's
boyfriend's age.

You know, just to point out

that age
does make a difference.

Only legally.

Yeah, real legally.

You point, Counselor?

It is a crime
to have sex with a minor,

and a minor
is anyone under 18.

The greater
the difference in age,

the greater the penalty.

If the perp is more
than three years older,

it's a felony.

What?

Yeah.
The older he is,

the more serious the charges.

That's how it works,

even if you want to have sex

with a guy 19 or older.

Who's going to
press the charges?

The police.
It's their business

if I have sex with a guy
that's older than me?

Yep. You're a minor.

Until you're not a minor,
it's their business.

What if I have
my mother's permission?

Wouldn't matter.
She'd just be an accessory.

Did you know this?

Yeah.

No.

It's not something
I have to worry about

because I'm not having
sex until I'm 18.

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

That's what Grace said.

Oh, thanks
for pointing that out.

Do you have sex?

Me?
Yeah.

Tell us about gay sex.

Um, no.

He's not having sex
until he's 18.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I said I'm not dating
until I leave high school.

Ooh, you're having sex
but not dating?

I don't want to talk
about this, okay?

I'm just
along for the ride.

Yeah, with?

I don't know.

Hello.

Griffin, is that you?

Nope. Wrong number.

I don't know.

Huh. Could be the school.

Yes. Someone's calling us
from the school.

Oh, no. Now we're all
going to get in trouble.

We're going to get
kicked out of school,

all because
of oral sex gone bad.

Oral sex
is neither bad nor good.

I told you that.

Oh, boy. that's what happened
between you and Jack?

You know that's what happened.

Everybody knows.

I didn't know.

I knew. But I don't care.

No one cares, Grace.

I care.

If you want us,

you're going to have to
come and get us, Coach!

Woo! I'm having fun!

Tell me where we're going.

Hello.

Hello, girls. And Henry.

Hank. He's changing
his name to Hank.

Doesn't matter what he
changes his name to.

He's still supposed
to be in school.

Alice, if you turn back now,

no one gets hurt.

It's just a blip
on your permanent record

and a few days' suspension.

Is that
the cafeteria lady?

Is this the cafeteria lady?

No, this is Dr. Bink,
the new counselor,

and I'm busting you
for grand truancy.

Did she say Bink?

Yes. Dr. Wilhemina Bink.

I've heard that name before.

Aren't you that lady
who got fired

for taking a kid
to the prom?

There was nothing
illegal about that!

My mom was her
court-appointed shrink.

Maybe we should think
about going back.

We don't know where
we're going anyway,

and we don't know where
to look for anyone.

Where are we going?

No one seems to know.

I know.

Man,
this was a good idea.

I haven't been
to the beach since...

I don't remember.

When was the last time
you were here?

Um...

Let's see. I think--

I think it was
a few weeks ago.

What, you were just here
a few weeks ago

and you didn't invite me?

It was a family thing.

Uh, kind of.

My dad and I were
with Donovan and Leon

and their family.

Donovan and Leon are gay,
right?

Yeah, so?

So you haven't
introduced me

to Donovan and Leon
because...

Because they're
an old married couple
with five children.

And what, they're
too stable for me?

Look, I'll introduce you.

Geez, is the whole world
about you?

Oh. Crabby.

How can you be crabby
on a day like this?

They invited us,

and they didn't invite you
because--

because we just needed
to get out of the house
for a while,

Dad and me.

It's going to be fine.

It is. It'll all work out.
You'll see.

The only thing that's going
to get her back here is Ben.

If he breaks up with her,

she's just going to go off
and start a new life.

Then let her
start a new life.

Who cares?

Who cares? I care.
That's my son.

Yeah. That is your son.

That's why I told you
to get a court order

so she couldn't
take him out of the state.

She's not taking him
out of state.

She's just taking him
far enough

that I can't see him
every day.

What the hell happened?

I don't know.

All of a sudden,
she and her mother

want to move
to Palm Springs

to take care
of her grandmother
who's got Alzheimer's.

So the two of them
left town

to take care
of their grandmother.

Yeah, to take care
of their grandmother.

Wait. Isn't that--

Isn't that
where Mrs. Juergens

was renovating a house
with her boyfriend?

In Palm Springs?

I don't know.
I don't know anything.

Amy didn't even tell me
she was going

until after she'd left.

And then she called me

to tell me I didn't need
to come around last night

or tonight or tomorrow night.

And we got into an argument,

and it turned into maybe
she's not coming back at all.

She's looking at schools
and day care

and all that stuff.

She can't just move
without your permission.

Yes, she can. She can
do anything she wants.

She's the mother,
and we're not married.

That doesn't make a difference.

That's your son, Ricky.

Claim your son.
You have rights.

Maybe I don't
look at it that way.

It's a privilege
for me to see my son,

and I don't want
my privileges revoked, okay?

Can't George talk to Amy?

Can't he do anything?

Wait.

Her mom just took off, too?

Without George?

They just had a baby.

That is his baby.

That isn't his baby?

There seems
to bsome argument
going on about that.

Wow.

I can't talk about it.

I said
I wouldn't talk about it.

But she knows-- Ashley.

Every time it seems
that my life might work out,

everything changes.

What? What did I say?

You're not the only one,
you know.

What?

I think my mom is leaving.

What?

Now? They just
moved in together.

Yeah. Good for me,
bad for her.

She got an offer--

a job offer.
It's a promotion.

She'd be working
in public relations
for the airline.

But...

the job is in New York.

So I-- I don't know.

I could go with her,
or I could stay with him,

but either way I'm not
going to be with the two
of them together

unless she doesn't
take the job.

The only person I really
want to be with is you.

Who knows?

You might leave
to be with Amy,

since you don't want to do
things through the court.

You don't really know
how courts work.

You've never been there.

You don't just get
what you want, you know.

And I'm trying to get Ben
to get Amy to stay here.

Maybe you could talk to him.

I've talked to him.

But it seems like
his Italian girlfriend

can show up at any minute.

Yeah, he told me.

She told you that

so you'd be jealous
and call me.

How could I call you
after what happened?

Nothing happened. You just
got all freaked out.

No, I didn't.

Okay, I did.

But I'm just not comfortable
doing certain things with you.

Well, you could get
comfortable if you wanted.

And if I don't want?

That's okay, too.

There's lots of other
things we can do together.

But we have
a whole lifetime.

We don't need to try
everything all at once.

I just want every time
to be like the first time.

Yeah, yeah. The first time.
It was great.

It was great.

It could be greater,
you know?

As our love gets greater.

You know what?

Having sex ruined
everything for us.

No, no, no.
Not continuing to have sex

ruined everything for us.

But everything's not ruined.

I swear.

Let's just look
at the past few weeks

as a break, all right?

We took a little break,

and now we're
getting back together

after our little break.

That depends.

on what you did
during our little break.

I didn't do anything.

I wasn't
even with Madison.

What?

Not on break,
not last summer.

You know what?
You are the worst liar.

I know.

Just tell me everything
and get it over with.

All right.

Madison and I, we...
tested the waters.

We made out a little bit.
That was it.

I'm going to guess
that "testing the waters"

went a little deeper
than that.

Maybe waist-high?

No, no. Grace, no.
We kissed.

That was it.

She was jealous of you,
I was jealous of Jason.

One thing led to another,
and we kissed.

So that's it? You just kissed?

You kissed or you made out?

We just kissed.
More than once?

Not more than one occasion.

It was more than one kiss?

I hate these discussions.

Why do you want
to go into detail?

Because I want to compare.
Compare what?

What you and Madison did
to what Jason and I did.

We just kissed.

I don't believe this.

What?

I don't believe
that I felt guilty

about kissing Madison

and all this time
you kissed Jason?

That's all I did.
it was just a quick kiss.

Yeah, I bet.
It was.

I don't believe you.

Ben!

Hey, Ben!

Ben! Ben!

Benito!

Hello.

Where the hell is my Mercedes?

I've got them now.

You know you can't drive
without the key to the car.

I forgot.

And didn't you see her?

She wasn't exactly
driving.

It was
more like puttering.

Is there an exception
for puttering?

No, there's not.

And you all know
better, I'm sure.

Aren't you all
about the age

where you're
in Driver's Ed?

Yes.

I should give you all
a ticket.

What?
We don't even know her.

We don't. Not really.

We don't know anyone.

We don't have boyfriends,
either.

Hello.

It's Dr. Bink.

It's over, Henry.

Don't bother
going to the beach.

They're all
headed back here.

So if you're smart,

you'll tell Alice
to turn the car around

and come back to school.

We can't ride with her.

Let me guess. You're all
supposed to be in school.

You couldn't give us
a ride, could you?

Please, sir?

I could follow.

I'm going to k*ll that kid.

Ah, come on, Leo.
It's not so bad.

It's a brand-new Mercedes.

He doesn't have
a driver's license.

Maybe he wasn't
driving the car.

Maybe he let Jack
or Ricky drive the car.

Like I said,
I'm going to k*ll that kid.

What's up?

What's up?

My 14-year-old skipped school.

My 16-year-old
and wife skipped town.

What are you talking about?

I made the mistake
of asking Anne

if there was any possibility
the baby might not be mine.

Why would you do that?

Yeah, there's ways to do that

without coming out
and asking her.

I don't think the baby's mine.

Robbie doesn't look
anything like me.

He doesn't even look
that much like Anne.

So Anne took the baby
and went to see her mother.

She and Amy.
She took Amy and John, too.

But they're coming back.

I don't know
if they're coming back.

I don't even know if they
know they're coming back.

Geez, George,
why didn't you call me?

Why didn't you call me?
This is terrible news.

Is it?
What do you mean?

You don't really want Ben
to stay with Amy, do you?

He's 16. He doesn't
have to tie himself down
to a family at 16.

it would be a lot easier
for him in the long run

if Amy did leave.

Uh, what about
the father of the baby?

What about Ricky?

Amy can't just take off.

That baby has a father.

The father has rights.

Did you try to get rights
with Adrian?

No. I made a mistake.

I made lots of mistakes.

But I've learned
from my mistakes.

It takes a wise man
to learn from his mistakes

and a wiser man to learn
from the mistakes of others.

Maybe if we shared
some of our mistakes
with them,

Ben and Ricky could be
smarter than any of us
were.

You really haven't
made any mistakes.

I've made mistakes.
Ruben's made mistakes.

We should talk to them.

What's your interest in this?

My daughter.

If the guys would just
make sound decisions

about their lives,

how much better off
would our daughters be?

You see how it is
with women.

One of them has a problem,

the other women
in their lives--

the mother or the grandmother,
the aunt, the friends--

they all come around.

But with guys-- --

we think we have to do
everything all by ourselves,

that it's a sign of weakness
to ask for help.

Yeah, it is.

Come on.

You know what he's
talking about.

Yeah, I know
what he's talking about,

all too well.

How much younger?

He's not that much younger.

He's very mature.

Yeah. Maturity is a strong
quality in a man.

I swear, Grace has never
skipped school before,

and I just think
she's upset

about me and my new
boyfriend.

I think she's upset
and her and Jack broke up.

Over oral sex.

Excuse me?

That's what I heard.

What?
It's all over school.

You just got here.
Yeah.

I thought they decided

they weren't ready
for a serious relationship,

and that's why Grace
broke up with Jack.

Come on. You don't
really believe that.
I did.

He wanted it.
She didn't want to do it.

It's almost impossible
to know what to tell them
these days.

I'd almost rather
they have oral sex
than sex.

She couldn't get pregnant.

But then,
if they have oral sex,

then she could get an STD.
Ha.

Uh, what's the Christian
thought on that,

on oral sex?

The thought is oral sex

or any kind of sex
before marriage is wrong.

The reality is teens
are doing it anyway--

not all teens,
but a lot of teens,

and Christian teens, too,

and...Christian adults

and Christian...parents

and--

Give me a break,
okay? I'm a widow.

No judgment.
I'm just trying to keep
the kids in the classroom

and out of the bedroom.

Aren't we all.

Why do you look so familiar?

Perhaps you saw me
on the evening news

receiving an award for my work
with high school students.

No. I don't think that's it.

Hello, gentlemen.

So I hear the boys
skipped school

and went to the beach.

Those rascals.

Boys will be boys.

And isn't it refreshing
that this time

none of them are in trouble
for sex, dr*gs, or alcohol?

I remember back
when I was a lad.

A few of my buddies
and I dropped acid

and hit the beach.

We thought
we were at the beach.

We were just sitting
in the neighbor's driveway

until the popo pulled up.

Ah, sobriety.
It has its rewards.

Aren't you Reverend Stone?

Yes, Jack's dad.

Uh, this is Leo,
Ben's dad.

That's Ruben, Adrian's dad.

Nice to meet you, even
under these circumstances.

Thank you.

Welcome back.

You were
just at the beach.

I didn't know that's
where we were going.

I just wanted
to get out of school.

Don't I have enough problems

without you
getting out of school?

Yeah.

Did you talk to Mom today?

Yeah, I talked to her.

Are they coming home
tomorrow?

I don't think so.
What are they going to do?

I guess it depends
on whose baby it is.

If Robbie is your baby?

Just because he doesn't
look like you

doesn't mean
he's not your son.

Yeah, it does.
Dad.

Ash, life is complicated.

No, it's not.

You love Mom,
and you love Robbie.

You love Amy and John,
and you love me.

So make it uncomplicated
and get them back here.

Don't skip school again.

I don't know why Dr. Bink
didn't suspend you,

but don't tempt her
with a next time,
you hear me?

Yeah, I hear you. Good night.

Come on.

What?

You don't listen to me,
either.

Lou, sit.

Thank you.

Give me the illusion
of control over something.

Oh--

Here's the thing, honey.

I know you've got
raging hormones,

but if you really
have to have sex

and you just
can't go without it,

why can't you just
masturbate?

Oh, that's a word nobody wants
to hear their mothers say.

Grace, I know this
is an uncomfortable
conversation to have,

but I'm just thinking
that if you could...

take matters
into your own hands,

you might be...saner?

It's kind of funny,

taking matters
into my own hands.

I'm glad. I'm glad
you think it's funny

because you know what?

Sometimes sex is funny.

And we have to laugh
at our own pathetic
situations.

We do, and I'm a widow,
and I like--

and I want to have sex,
and I am crazy about Jeff.

But I don't want to get
married again right now.

I mean, not that he's asked.

So you?
Oh, yeah.

And she just showed up
at the beach?

Yeah.

I mean, she was looking

at a travel book
on California

when I first saw her--

in Bologna, at the cafe.

And I showed her
where we like to hang out.

I didn't know if she'd ever
actually come to California.

I-- I mean, I--
I found out recently

that she was coming
or that she wanted to come,

but now she's here
with her dad.

And who is this girl,
exactly? Just a friend?

Yeah. Just a friend.
Really?

Because you know what, Ben?
It's okay to have friends.

It's really okay.

It's even okay
to be in love with Amy

and still be attracted
to other girls.

You're going to be
attracted to other girls.

That doesn't mean you have
to do anything about it.

I told you before,

if you have done something
about it,

keep that stuff to yourself.

I don't want to know,
and neither does Amy.

I do love her-- Amy.

But I want to be
with other girls.

I want to date

and have sex outside
of a committed relationship.

You mean like any other
16-year-old guy

that doesn't have
a girlfriend with a baby.

I love John. He's great.

But yeah.

Ben.

I know sometimes in life,

you'd rather
ignore a challenge
than deal with it.

But you have to deal with it.

Amy has a baby.

If you're in a relationship
with Amy,

you have a baby, too.

You've always seemed to have
real feelings for her,

despite her situation.

I know you had
your doubts once, but--

But I just want
to have some fun.

I can always
go back to Amy.

What?
Oh, my God.

Did I
just say that out loud?

Yes, you did,
and no, you can't, son.

You really can't
always go back.

So be sure this time.

You broke up with Amy before,
so be sure this time

because next time
she may not take you back.

You can only go back and forth
so many times like this

before you lose
a woman forever.

I have to go.
I know.

I'm sorry
about your situation
with Amy and John.

I'm sure you can
work it out.

Ahem.

Sorry to interrupt.

I just wanted to talk
to Ricky for a minute.

About?
Dad stuff.

Good night.

If you don't want me
to come over--

No, no. I'd rather
you come over here

than Adrian go
over to your place.

Oh.

So I talked to George
today at school.

I didn't realize
Amy had left town.

It's probably not for good,
or I hope it isn't.

Still,
it's got to be difficult

thinking
about the possibility

that she could leave town
and take your son with her

I can't go to court.

You could mediate
a legal agreement

without going to court.

You should have
an agreement.

And you might
want to look at it

as a commitment
to your son.

I might want to look
at it that way,

but what it is
is a message to Amy

that she can't do
anything she wants.

And I'm not so sure

she shouldn't be able
to do anything she wants.

She's his mother,

and I'm not contributing
much in the way of money,

so--
So what?

You're not a father?

You're afraid that at 16

if you can't make some
sort of payment to Amy,

you can't get rights
to see the baby,

so you'd rather not
risk it right now

and wait
until you have money.

It's not about the money.

I'm not saying you should
be financially responsible

when it comes to your son,

but I always paid
child support for Adrian.

I was just
never there for her.

So what kind of a father
am I?

A father who never
knew his daughter

until she was 16.

Children need things,

but they also need
your time, your help,

and your love.

Learn from my mistakes,
Ricky.

Find a way to be
in your kid's life.

You're a dad.

And you're a good dad.

You and Amy will find a way
to do what's best for John.

You will.

Anyway, I just wanted
to tell you that.

And to tell you that if
you ever wanted to talk,

I'm right downstairs
from Adrian.

Thanks.

Good night.

We're out of dog food.

Look,
I don't want any trouble,

but I want my son back here
as soon as possible,

if you don't mind
telling Amy that.

You tell Amy that.
I'll back you up.

Thanks.

What else is on your mind?

It's just that if Ben
breaks up with Amy

and I've insisted
Amy has to be here--

Then you'll feel obligated

to be her boyfriend
or husband or something?

You told me before
how you feel about Amy.

You really have to tell Amy
how you feel about Amy

in a nice way
that won't make her cry.

She cries very easily,
you know.

I know, But I don't want her
to get rejected by Ben

and then rejected by me.

She's been through enough.

Maybe she doesn't want
either one of you.

Ever think about that?

She's not having any trouble

thinking about being
away from you or Ben.

I love that girl.

And I love you.

And I love my grandson

maybe more
than the both of you,

so you and Amy have to do
what's right for John.

And if you need my help
with that, you got it.

Call her.
She won't pick up.
I tried calling her.

Speed dial.

I want to take
a nice long bath.

You'll
listen for Robbie?

Yeah, of course.

-Dad? -No, it's not your dad. It's me.
I want to see my son, Amy.

- I want you to bring John home.
- Yeah, when I'm ready.

- And when's that going to be?
- I don't Know.