(KC) Previously on KC Undercover...
- Hey, Byron.
- Hey, KC.
I'm at this thing my dad dragged me to,
but I'll be free in time for our movie.
I can't go tonight because
my grandma is not well.
I am so sorry. Go take
care of your grandma.
I hope she feels better.
Thanks, Byron.
(Drumming)
Wow, Dad, that was amazing!
I'm so glad that we came.
KC? What are you doing here?
KC, I thought you said you
were with your sick grandma.
And since when were you part
of a university drumline?
You're not even in college yet!
Uhh... I...
(Imitates KC) I'm not leaving
until I get an answer, KC.
I see. See what's happening here.
- Mm.
- (Chuckles)
You thought I was KC.
I'm not. I'm her cousin Cassandra.
Her cousin?
Yeah! Yeah, yeah, no,
we're first cousins.
We look exactly alike.
It's weird, I know,
but, um, I'm actually
a tiny bit cuter, so...
Are you messing with me?
'Cause I'm feeling messed with.
- Mm...
- Look, KC, if you're not interested
in going out with me, I
wish you would just say so.
Again, I'm Cassandra.
So this is more of a KC conversation.
But I know she's with her grandma,
so she's probably home by now.
All right, you want to play this out?
I'll play this out, KC!
Or... possibly Cassandra.
But I'm almost positive... KC.
I hate my life!
♪ Oh, when danger comes for you ♪
♪ You know I'll stand beside you ♪
♪ 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their head so cool ♪
♪ I'll always find a way,
a way out of the fire ♪
♪ Don't tell nobody, tell nobody ♪
♪ I'm not perfect ♪
♪ So many things I wanna tell you ♪
♪ But I, I, I, I
keep it undercover ♪
♪ Livin' my life, on red alert ♪
♪ Doin' my thing,
gonna make it work ♪
♪ Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ♪
♪ But I always got your back ♪
♪ Nobody can do it like I can ♪
♪ I gotta find out who I am ♪
♪ Ain't got to worry about me ♪
♪ It's all part of the plan ♪
I keep it undercover.
I keep it undercover.
Mom! I almost blew my
cover. Byron's on his way.
Okay, I have a cousin named
Cassandra who looks exactly like me,
and I was visiting my sick
grandma, so just go with it, okay?
- Sick grandma on my side or your dad's?
- Dad's!
Good, 'cause I don't need you
putting the evil eye on my mama.
(Knocking)
(Insistent knocking)
Byron, hi! Is KC expecting you?
Oh, why, because she's not home?
She's not home, is she?
Yeah, she's upstairs.
She's still a little
upset about her grandma.
I mean, I don't know
if she mentioned this,
but she's not doing very well.
Not my mama, 'cause
she's healthy as a horse.
Craig's mom, the woman
only eats at restaurants
that have a drive-through.
So, she's really here?
- Mm-hmm.
- Because I'd like to see her.
- KC!
- Hey, Byron, what's up?
Give me your arm.
I... usually wait for the third
date for arm stuff, but okay.
Heart rate elevated,
slightly perspiring.
Why exactly is that, KC?
Did you just run home for some reason?
Mm, no. I was upstairs
doing squats, okay?
You don't think this
just happens, do ya?
KC, look me in the eye and tell me
that I didn't just see
you at American University
in a drumline outfit.
Oh... drumline.
- He ran into Cassandra.
- (Both chuckle)
No, my cousin goes there.
She's on the drumline.
See, I don't believe you!
Boy, I know you're
not coming in my house,
raising your voice and
calling my baby a liar!
- What's wrong with you!
- Uh...
Mom, Mom, I think I
got this one, thank you.
Whoo. Okay, KC, I'm just gonna say it.
Something's up with you.
What are you hiding? Because
I know you're lying to my face.
I'm not lying to you. I told you,
I have a cousin named Cassandra,
she goes to American University,
and she's on the drumline.
If you don't believe me, we
could all go to dinner tomorrow.
- Fine.
- Fine.
- You better not cancel.
- I won't.
- Looking forward to it.
- Me too.
(Scoffs)
He seems nice.
- Ugh!
- Worst mission ever!
The food was terrible, it was too hot,
and on the plane ride
back, I was all crammed!
- There was plenty of room!
- For you!
You lifted up the armrest
and took one and a half seats!
Oh... You know, all you've done
on this entire mission is complain.
You didn't like the food. You
didn't like the hotel room.
You didn't like the way that guy threw
that car door at your head
when you weren't looking.
Okay, I give you that one.
I'm just saying,
if we're gonna risk our lives
doing dangerous missions,
we may as well be comfortable doing it.
But it's not just on
missions, it's at home, too!
"Dad, my WiFi's too slow."
"Dad, we don't have
enough cable channels."
"Dad, my turkey tetrazzini's too spicy!"
You know I have sensitive taste buds!
Seriously, son, you need to toughen up!
Okay, I'll just add that to your
growing list of personal critiques.
"Ernie, toughen up!"
"Ernie, don't play so many video games!"
"Ernie, don't be scared of flatworms!"
You're scared of flatworms?
If you cut them in half,
they grow into two worms!
It freaks me out!
(Groans) Oh, what...
Okay, know what? Enough is enough.
You have had it too good for too long.
You're my son and I love you,
but I have to do what I think is right,
and what I think you need
is a little lesson in tough living.
So I'm kicking you out of the house.
Oh, come on, Dad!
Oh, no, no! I mean
it. Give me your keys.
For the next hours, you'll
be living in the backyard.
Fine, just let me get my phone.
And my laptop. And my tablet.
And my air mattress.
No problem! Would you like
a wake-up call and room service, too?
- Ooh, that would be nice!
- Get outta here!
So, I only see two problems with this
whole dinner date with Cassandra thing.
Um, the first being
there's no Cassandra,
and the second being...
there's no Cassandra.
But there will be, okay?
Marisa, I'm a spy. I've disguised myself
as, like, a thousand different people.
I'm pretty sure I can
dress myself as myself.
All I'm gonna do is use what
we call a quick-change outfit.
Mm-kay? We use them all the
time when we go undercover.
Right now you see KC...
now you see Cassandra.
(Gasps in amazement) Wow!
Now you can wear two outfits
I hate at the same time!
But you can't be in two places at once.
I know, I know.
Marisa, I need to
come up with something,
'cause Byron knows that something's up,
and I cannot blow my cover.
Well, it's too bad you don't have
a secret twin locked in your basement.
Marisa, I don't say this often enough,
but you are a genius.
Oh, well, I hate to brag,
but I was just accepted
into community college!
(Laughs)
Well, I was waitlisted,
but it's looking good.
I don't know, Agent Cooper.
Releasing a dangerous,
high-profile criminal
is extremely irregular.
Yeah, well, you have
my ID and the paperwork,
so what more do you need?
No one said anything to me, though.
I think I need to double
check with Agent Johnson.
Okay, sure, I've got nowhere else to be.
Go ahead, check with Agent
Johnson... during his lunch.
You know, bother him about
something he's already approved.
I guess I won't see you at
the Christmas karaoke party.
Fa-la-la-later.
Oh, hold on!
I love that karaoke party.
I'm supposed to sing "We Are Family"
with the boys from Accounting.
Besides, Johnson signed the paperwork.
Bring out the prisoner.
Hello, Bernice.
'Sup, ugly?
Well! Never thought
I'd see your face again.
(Chuckles) Don't you see it
every time you look in the mirror?
I'm in maximum security, Cooper.
The only mirror I have is the
stainless steel toilet in my room.
Which is perfect, because
every time I see my reflection,
I need something to barf in, anyway!
Well, I see solitary confinement
hasn't dulled your wit.
So, what do you want from me, Beanpole?
I'm about to tell you, Snotnose.
Look, I need your help with something.
Ha! Help you.
I wouldn't spit on you
if you were on fire.
Unless...
Okay. I'm sorry, but you are
in no position to negotiate.
Fine, then take me back
to my toilet mirror!
Um, on the other hand,
(Scoffs) what's a little favor
amongst two friends who
hate each other's guts?
(Cheerless laugh) What do you want?
(Sighs) I want a new face.
Any face. I don't care if you give me
three noses and one eye,
or a beak with feathers.
I just can't stand looking
at this ugly mug anymore.
Fine. You got it.
I also want smaller feet.
Okay, eh, eh. Get in line, sister.
Okay, if they had that procedure...
I would've done it already.
Oh, baby, this is good!
Thank you! I ordered it myself.
(Ernie wailing)
Are you sure about this lesson, Craig?
I mean, Ernie sounds so sad and hungry.
Nonsense. That's just the
sound of him getting tougher!
Yeah, but there's no place
for the poor kid to sit down
because you moved all the
furniture in the garage!
That's not true. I had
the gardener move it.
Besides, he can use
Nature's chair... the dirt.
It just feels cruel.
Sweetie, I know what I'm doing, okay?
Any minute now, he's gonna
start gathering materials
and build himself a shelter, watch.
Well, what about food? I
mean, the kid needs food.
(Sighs)
He's eating my plants, Craig!
The boy's eating my plants!
Can't we toss him an apple or something?
See, that's the problem! You coddle him!
Well, I'm sorry, but he's my child,
and I don't want to watch him suffer!
Know what? You're right.
Thank you!
I don't want to watch
him suffer, either!
Problem solved!
Craig Cooper, open that door
and let our son back in this house now!
- No!
- I said let him back in!
And I said no.
I'm warning you, Craig.
(Laughs) Oh, really?
What are you gonna do?
Can we at least talk about...?
(Bolt clicks)
(Laughs)
That's right. That's right.
I'm here to make sure you take no
shortcuts on the path to toughness.
- Mom kicked you out.
- Yeah.
Get your own dinner!
- (Beep, zap)
- Yow, what was that?
A tracking device.
If you thought that you were
gonna escape on my watch,
heh, think again!
Hmm, well, you may be able to
track me, but you can't catch me.
- (Beeps)
- Aaah!
What the heck was that?
Hmm. Anytime you want to try something,
I just press this little button
and volts of electricity
will go through your body, yeah.
Excuse me, did I forget to mention that?
Well, on second thought,
I have no place to be except for prison,
so go ahead... you were saying?
Look, here's the deal, okay?
We're going to dinner tonight,
and I need you to pretend
to be my cousin Cassandra.
She goes to American
University, she's a drummer,
and she's sweet, kind, and respectful.
Hmm! So she's a real
snooze-fest like you.
Listen, Cassandra
doesn't get all mouthy,
okay, or she gets the...
Aah... okay!
I see your point!
Now, listen, we only have a few hours
before I need to get you back to prison
before the guard changes,
so listen carefully.
- When you're pretending to be Cassandra...
- Uh... excuse me.
Cassandra? Shouldn't I be you?
Me? No, Byron already knows me.
He's not gonna think that you're me.
Oh, really? So this boy
knows you better than
your entire family.
Hm, well, I remember
fooling them for two weeks.
In fact, I think the phrase
"You're more likeable than ever"
was uttered on more than one occasion.
- (Zap)
- (Groans)
Yeah. Yeah. I'm in charge.
I'm in charge, okay,
so you're Cassandra.
KC.
Cassandra.
- KC. KC!
- Cassandra. Cassandra!
- KC!
- Cassandra!
- (Zaps)
- Aaah! (Sighs)
You know what? I just decided on my own
that I'd like to be Cassandra.
Listen, you better be
on your best behavior,
or I swear, no new face, and I will...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, zap, zap, zap.
Whatever. Let's just get
this over with, Cassandra.
(Sighs) Okay, for the last time,
you're Cassandra, I'm KC.
Fine. We'll do it your way.
Thank you! Ohh!
(Beeping)
(Whimpers)
Hi, Byron!
Remember my cousin Cassandra
who you thought didn't exist?
Well, Cousin Cassandra, who does exist,
meet Byron.
Byron, nice to meet you again.
I don't know what to say.
Well, you can start by saying hi.
Sorry. Hi.
KC, I feel like a jerk.
I-I thought you made
this whole thing up,
and yet, here she is!
Here I am!
I'm sorry I called you a liar.
Oh, that's fine.
I'm not really that
great of a person, anyway.
In fact, the more you get to know me,
the less you'll like me!
- (Beep, zap)
- (Groans) Oh...!
I mean, uh...
Apology accepted.
I just can't get over it!
It's like you're the same person!
Heh. Not quite. (Cheerless laugh)
We are two very, very,
very different people.
I think he got your point
after the third or fourth "very."
Really, it's quite
easy to tell us apart.
I'm the one that
thinks life is all about
getting good grades and
playing by the rules.
Mm! (Chuckles)
Well, I'm the one who thinks
I can just do whatever I want
and there's no
consequences for my actions!
I'm boring.
I'm obnoxious.
I'm friendless,
and often have bad gas
and blame it on other people.
Mm...
(Cheerless chuckles)
Well, I only have so much patience
with people before I zap them...
- Wait...
- ...with a zinger.
(Laughing)
Yup. Yup. Just kidding!
We love each other.
Aw.
Cousin hug?
Yeah!
Love you, cuz!
(Evil laugh)
(Chuckles)
Aw, that's so nice!
I'm actually really
close with my family, too,
which is something I
guess we have in common.
(Chuckles) I need to go to the bathroom.
Oh. Well, then, I'll just go with you.
Uh, that won't be necessary.
Can do it on my own. Been
doing it for a while now.
But we always go together, remember?
Not this time.
I need to do this on my own,
if you know what I mean.
Uh, yeah, I do know what you mean,
which is why I'm going with you.
Uh, Cassandra, chill.
Let her go to the bathroom by herself.
I mean, it's not like she's an
escaped convict or something!
No, haha!
Fine, yeah, go ahead. Just,
uh, make smart choices.
I don't think she has much of a choice.
You know, usually once
you get inside there,
whatever happens, happens, you know?
(Laughs cheerlessly)
Yeah, so how'd you two meet?
Uh, actually, we're both honor students,
- and we, uh... -(Beep, zap)
- (Bernice screams)
Uh, maybe you actually
should go check on KC.
Mm, no, I think she's fine.
(Beeps)
Mm-hmm, on second thought,
it never hurts to check.
(Beeping)
You're not going anywhere!
(Fight grunts)
Whoa!
(Pressured water hissing)
Cassandra, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm good.
I'm good, just uh...
turned the faucet up a
little high, and, uh...
sprayed me a little.
A little?
It looks like you didn't
make it to the stall.
Where's KC?
Uh, she had to leave unexpectedly, or...
not so unexpectedly.
I can't believe she blew me off again.
No, she didn't blow you off.
She told me to tell you that...
You know what? I don't care.
Just tell her I said I
know she's hiding something.
What? No, I just told you. She's...
You know what? Really, I
don't even care what it is.
I'm over her, and you can
tell her that I said so.
Uh! Okay!
Fine! My cousin don't want you, anyway!
Oh, man, this was definitely not worth
breaking a maniac out of prison.
Oh, sitting on this ground is
starting to make my back hurt.
Are you sure it's not just
the pain of toughening up?
This is all your fault.
If you weren't so spoiled, I wouldn't
have had to teach you a lesson.
Yeah, because it's always the
child's fault that he's spoiled.
The parent has nothing to do with it.
And exactly what lesson have I learned?
That plants and gravel
do not a meal make?
One more word out of you, and...
What, you're gonna kick
me out of the house?
Because it's generally
the people inside the house
who can kick people out of it.
You know what?
I've had enough of this.
I will not...
be locked out...
of my own house!
Uhh!
Yes!
You know the spare key is
actually under that rock, right?
Oh. Sorry.
Oh, don't be.
Come here, son.
This is exactly what I wanted to happen.
See, you're always so laid back.
I wanted you to be a man of action.
I send you out in the world
and I put you in some
dangerous situations,
and I need to know you
can handle yourself.
And clearly you can.
I'm proud of you, boy!
Thanks, Dad!
So, uh, what are we
telling Mom about the door?
Beats me. That's all you!
Man of action.
(Wail) Mom!
Well, Bernice is gone.
I just ran a facial recognition scan
of all the security footage in the area,
and the only face I found was my own!
Apparently, I went to the Olive
Pit with her and left without her,
which I already knew, so...
Well, you know what,
KC, maybe you should've
put some sort of tracker on her.
Oh, really, Marisa! Wow,
why didn't I think of that?
I have been the best friend
of a spy for some time now,
so I've learned a few
tricks of the trade.
Marisa, it's not helping,
okay? Seriously, look.
Bernice is dangerous,
okay, and it's all my fault
because I'm the one who let her out,
and I don't know what to do!
You should've never
broken her out of prison.
What you should've done is put
me in one of those KC disguises
like I wore when I had to cover
for you at the Organization.
Marisa, I do not say this often enough,
but you are a genius!
Yay!
No! I don't wanna go to jail!
Good job, Marisa, you're
coming off really believable!
No! No, no, no! I'm not kidding!
I-I-I changed my mind!
I don't wanna be you!
I don't wanna go to jail!
Marisa... Uh, mm!
Excuse me, Officer,
could you help me with this prisoner?
Don't make me tase you, Bernice!
(Marisa sobbing)
No! I thought you were my friend!
(Woman) Rob, your name's on TV!