06x13 - Mr. Monk and the Three Julies

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Monk". Aired: July 2002 - December 2009.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


After the m*rder of his wife, Adrian Monk develops OCD which costs him his job as a prominent homicide detective, but he continues to solve crimes with the help of his assistant and his former boss.
Post Reply

06x13 - Mr. Monk and the Three Julies

Post by bunniefuu »

Can I eat these now?

He doesn't want me to get crumbs on the seat.

New car?

Yep! Wow.

They finally signed off on her last night.

After about three years of begging and pleading and weeping openly.

What do you think of that color, huh?

You like it?

I love that color.

It's black, isn't it?

No, it's midnight onyx.

Oh.

Yeah, it's got satellite radio.

Eight speakers.

Randy, what the hell are you doing?

You're getting salt all over the hood.

Does he remind you of anybody?

No. You missed a spot there.

This the warrant?

Right here.

Okay, we're looking for a nine millimeter...

a*t*matic.

Monk thinks it's somewhere in the building.

We're gonna tear the place apart top to bottom.

Let's do it.

Natalie, hang on to that.

We'll call you when the place is secure.

Captain? Yeah, hang on a minute.

Captain, we need to do this.

Is that a scratch?

No big deal.

Here, keep on eye on her for me, will ya?

[Car alarm chirps]

Speaking of cars, guess where Julie is today.

Yeah? Driver's ed.

She's taking her test tomorrow.

Can you believe it?

She wants me to get her a used car, but I don't know what to do.

Just say no. You obviously can't afford it.

Have you ever tried saying no to a teenager?

How hard can it be? It's impossible.

They're like a force of nature.

It's like walking into a hurricane.

(Police radio) Female Caucasian, Julie teeger.

Repeat, all units, possible 187.

The victim's name. Repeat the victim's name.

Julie teeger.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god... what's a 187?

Mr. Monk, what's a 187?

Homicide.

Homicide. Wait a second.

Natalie, what are you...

Natalie, what are you doing?

Call the captain...

Wait! Wait for the captain.

Hey, just listen to me.

Natalie! [Tires screech]

[Randy Newman ragtime theme]

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ disorder and confusion everywhere ♪

♪ No one seems to care

♪ well, I do

♪ hey, who's in charge here?

♪ It's a jungle out there

♪ poison in the very air we breathe ♪

♪ Do you know what's in the water that you drink? ♪

♪ Well, I do, and it's a-ma-zing ♪

♪ People think I'm crazy 'cause I worry all the time ♪

♪ If you paid attention, you'd be worried too ♪

♪ You'd better pay attention or this world we love so much ♪

♪ Might just k*ll you

♪ I could be wrong now

♪ but I don't think so

♪ 'cause it's a jungle out there ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

[Horn honking]

Julie, honey. Honey, it's me again.

Where are you?

Just pick up, pick up!

Sorry, ma'am, I cannot let you go in there.

I'm Natalie teeger. I have to get in there.

No, I might be her mother.

Oh, my god.

Natalie.

It's not her.

It's not Julie.

Thank god.

Another Julie teeger. What are the odds of that?

Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

It's only a mirror.

It's just the mirror.

Leland, I'm so sorry.

I heard the name, and I just thought Julie...

Natalie, any parent would have done the same thing.

Captain, lieutenant frank's inside.

He's the primary.

He was wondering, as long as we're here...

Yeah, as long as we're here.

I'm just gonna meet you inside.

I wanna hear Julie's voice.

You know, I don't even use my side mirrors.

Shut up.

And you live right next door?

That's right.

I was taking a bath.

My window was open.

Cap.

I heard screaming.

It sounded like Julie.

That's the victim, Mrs. Teeger.

Did you hear anything else?

Just her screaming.

Then maybe a car.

I think I heard a car driving away.

Okay, screaming and then a car screeching off.

What then?

Then I ran.

I came over here as soon as I could.

How did you get in?

The door was open.

I knew there was something wrong.

Sometimes you can just tell.

I found her in the foyer with that Kn*fe.

Yeah, a steak Kn*fe from a rack in the kitchen.

Steak Kn*fe?

We... we... we gave her those knives.

For Christmas.

Sir, would you like to sit down?

Hold on, let me... Let me move this stuff here.

Oh, my... look at the size of that handkerchief.

Monk, that's not a handkerchief.

That's somebody's underwear.

Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey!

Hey hey hey hey!

He hates underwear?

Yes.

There you go.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Julie! Julie!

Oh, my god, no!

Hey hey hey hey hey hey!

Just calm down! This is a crime scene.

Just calm down.

A crime scene? That's my wife!

What happened?

We're not sure.

We think maybe she interrupted a burglary.

A burglary?

In broad daylight?

Who did this?

You find out who did this.

I will. You have my word.

It's me again.

Please, I need to hear your voice.

Call me when you get this.

(Police radio) Tentative ID on the victim is Julie teeger.

(Officer) Unit nine, could you repeat the name of the victim?

(Radio) Julie teeger.

That's t for Thomas. Teeger.

You know, nine, this has gotta be a mix-up.

We're at the teeger scene on bose street.

I don't know what to tell you, buddy.

I'm looking at her I.D. Right now.

Julie teeger. The picture matches.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

[Car engine starting]

[Tires screeching]

Natalie!

Natalie!

What the hell's her problem?

It's not her. It's not her.

Another Julie teeger?

It's impossible.

Very nearly.

But this one is totally different.

It was an accident. She was a graduate student.

She was on her bike. Probably riding home.

And some guy hit her and just kept on going.

But her name... her name is definitely Julie teeger, spelled the same?

Actually, these kind of things happen all the time.

I once took this course in statistics.

There was this woman in Michigan.

She won the lottery.

Next day she got bit by a shark.

And what does that prove?

I don't know.

I ended up dropping the class.

What the hell happened?

It was only two miles.

I took a short cut. I cut across the creek.

There's no bridge across the creek.

I know.

There's no bridge across the creek.

Yes, I know.

There's no bridge across the creek.

Captain, I am sorry.

I will pay for everything.

No, it's okay. It's insured.

Yeah, remember, sir, you did say that any parent would have done the same thing.

Uh-huh.

I think I need to be alone.

Here.

Hmm.

What is it?

Her bike.

She has all the safety features.

Flashers, two mirrors.

She was obviously very careful.

So?

So what was she doing on the wrong side of the road?

Monk.

Check this out.

What is it?

This bruise, it's square.

It's from a trailer hitch. Cap.

He chased her...

Across the park.

He hit her.

And then he backed up to finish the her off.

He backed up?

He ran her over.

This was no accident.

They're two homicides.

Same name on the same day.

Is somebody k*lling Julie teegers?

Oh, my god.

What are you doing?

Turning.

I could have sworn we just passed a stop sign.

But I must have been imagining things.

Sorry, I didn't see it.

I can understand that. They hid it so cleverly.

On top of that big post.

All right, miss teeger, let's be adventurous.

Let's try a three point turn.

Now, what's the first thing you do?

Pray.

I'm just kidding. That was a joke.

You might want to save all your prayers for your driving test tomorrow.

Okay.

Hold it!

What'd you forget?

Your blinker.

Oh, well...

Is that a big deal?

I mean... There's nobody around.

[Siren]

Okay, okay.

I'm using my blinker!

My blinker is on!

Thank god, Julie.

Honey honey!

What's going on?

You have to come with us right now!

Okay.

What's going on? Sorry, sorry.

Oh, my god! It was just a blinker!

She's okay.

She's fine. Natalie just picked her up.

She's heading home.

I want a car outside of her house 24/7.

Make it two cars.

And a uniform at her back door.

'Course she's gonna feel sorry for him and invite him in.

Um, tell him to stay outside and to stay sharp.

How many Julie teegers do you think there could be?

I have no idea.

We're checking the phone directories.

What about children?

They wouldn't all be listed.

That's true.

Check the schools, public and private, and birth records.

The whole country? Start in California.

Work your way up the coast.

What about women who are married who changed their names?

He's right.

Call social security.

You got it. When you do want it?

How about now?

How about tonight?

How about you get busy?

Any ideas?

I don't know.

I don't know.

All right, okay, maybe a hit man was paid to k*ll Julie teeger.

But he doesn't know what she looks like.

And he's k*lling all of them?

Monk, that doesn't track.

The m.O.'S are so different.

The housewife was stabbed and the graduate student was run down.

I know, I know.

It doesn't make any sense. Okay, forget it.

Captain? Yeah.

Hey, monk, I've got two ideas.

Two ideas?

Yeah, which one do you want first?

The one that'll make me less pissed off.

Theory a.

I remembered this old case, Matthew teeger.

35 years old.

Guy's been committed twice for acute schizophrenia and delusions.

Any arrests? Yeah.

as*ault three years ago.

He att*cked his stepfather.

He said he was defending his mother.

Apparently he's obsessed with her.

Guess what her name is?

Juliet teeger.

A history of v*olence and a mother obsession.

I like it.

I like it too. Let's talk to this guy.

What about the other idea?

You said you had two.

Uh, yeah, it's just a long sh*t.

The Terminator?

Yeah, just brainstorming, you know?

You think he might be a robot assassin sent from the future?

Well, he was k*lling women with the same names. Forget it.

[As Schwarzenegger] Sarah Connor, come with me if you want to live.

That was t2.

Well, maybe we could lure him to a smelting plant on the outskirts of town.

Can I have that back, please?

And things of this nature.

(Disher) What a dump.

(Monk) You can tell it used to be beautiful.

How does something like that happen?

I don't know, maybe Natalie drove it somewhere.

Hello?

Mrs. Teeger?

You all right?

We're with the police department, ma'am.

We've been trying to reach you.

We have reason to believe you may be in some danger!

Hello?

Mrs. Teeger?

Taxidermy.

It's nice to have a hobby.

Can't imagine growing up in a house like this.

I can.

All right, let's spread out.

Randy, check out back.

Check the basement.

Monk, you check upstairs.

[Door creaking]

Mrs. Teeger?

Juliet?

Don't be afraid.

I'm with the, uh... I'm with the police.

We think young Matthew might be involved in something.

Do you know where he is, ma'am?

We just wanna talk to him.

Ma'am?

Have you... excuse me?

Are you okay?

Are you... are you dead?

[Whispering] Please be alive. Please be alive.

Please be alive.

Please don't be one of those skeleton ladies.

Please be alive. Please be alive.

Please be dead. Please be dead.

Ugh!

I just wanna thank you again for seeing me on such short notice.

Were you sleeping?

No, not really. No.

I'm happy to do this.

Your wife didn't sound happy.

I could hear her in the background.

No, Madeline is fine.

Madeline knows this is part of the job.

She understands that.

Does she have tourette's syndrome?

Yes. Yes, she does.

So, uh, a glass eyeball, huh?

The mother d*ed three months ago.

The son never reported it.

Wait, did the son k*ll the mother?

The doctors say no.

It was a heart aneurysm.

Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist.

He stuffed her body.

Carried her from room to room like nothing happened.

Yeah, I have heard of cases like that.

See, he couldn't function without her.

They call it...

Radical cognitive bonding.

At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?

Yes, and I've always been very proud of you for that.

Thank you.

So, um, the son. Where is the son?

That's the problem.

He just disappeared.

Do you think he's tracking down women who have the same name as his mother, Julie teeger?

Is that possible?

Yes, Adrian, anything is possible, unfortunately.

You know, Natalie must be scared to death.

I brought his file with me.

I was hoping you could take a look at it.

Adrian, remember, this isn't a patient of mine.

I have never met this man.

So I could only make an educated guess.

We'll take it.

I know.

They have been parked out front all night.

And lieutenant disher is in our living room.

I feel like I'm in a spy movie.

Julie, what are you doing?

Talking to Katie.

I told you to stay away from the window.

This is not a game.

Katie, I better go.

My mom is having an anxiety att*ck.

I'll talk to you tomorrow. And no headphones.

Why not?

I want you to be able to hear me if something happens.

Mom, I really think you're overreacting.

Well, that's my job.

So let me just do my job.

Wh-what's this?

Oh, it's your homework.

I had the officers pick it up from school.

What?

I can't go to school?

So now I'm a prisoner in my own house.

Why? I didn't do anything wrong.

It's not fair.

I know, honey. It's not.

Well, for how long?

I don't know. Just until they catch this guy.

Mr. Monk and the whole department are out there looking for him.

Well, what about my driver's test?

Well, we might have to reschedule that, okay?

No. No no no.

I have been waiting my whole life to get my license.

Honey, I don't think you appreciate how serious this situation is.

I don't think you appreciate this.

I am taking that test tomorrow with or without your permission.

How's she doing?

There are two dead women named Julie teeger and all she cares about is her driver's test.

Well, maybe it's healthy. She's living her life.

Yeah, meanwhile I'm a wreck.

Vanilla fudge, my favorite.

Yeah, I know. I got it from your freezer.

Randy, I need to ask you a favor.

The answer is yes.

I need a g*n. The answer is no.

I know how to use it.

When we lived on the base, Mitch took me to the f*ring range all the time.

So apply for a permit.

No, I cannot wait two weeks. I need something now.

I need something in my hand.

I just feel so helpless sitting here waiting.

Well, she's gonna be okay.

I mean, I'm right here, so...

Nothing's gonna happen.

She asleep?

No, not yet.

Good, let's pack her up.

There's a room at the police station with a couple of beds.

There's a TV and you'll have her own bathroom.

Why, what happened?

Nothing, I'm being careful, that's all.

Captain, something happened, you have to tell me.

I'm her mother.

All right.

I thought it was a fairly common name.

I thought there'd be a hundred others.

We checked Nevada, Oregon.

Went as far east as Colorado.

And?

And she's the only Julie teeger within a thousand miles.

You mean the only one left.

Tape is rolling.

[Sneezes]

Could you hand me a kleenex?

Kills 99.9% of cold and flu viruses.

Only 99.9.

Randy, what are you doing?

My bra's itching.

How do they walk around in this stuff?

This is a new low.

Actually, it's not a new low.

That's the sad part.

He's never gonna buy this.

Dr. Kroger thinks he will.

Matthew teeger has suffered a pure psychotic break.

He's in complete denial.

His mother never d*ed. Not to him.

The important thing is that we keep him talking.

What if he has a Kn*fe?

He's right.

We need a code, a phrase, in case he's in trouble.

Uh, how about "mother of god, he has a Kn*fe"?

No, it needs to be covert.

It needs to be conversational.

Sound natural.

How about, "I wish there were ten of them"?

Ten of what?

Anything.

Well, you see, monk, I don't think anybody else would actually say that.

I've heard people say that.

Okay, look, here's the code.

Better late than never.

Yep, got it.

You want to write it down? No no, I'm good.

Okay, what is it?

Uh, it's...

Better late than never. Yeah, I got it, no problem.

The suspect is approaching the house.

He's entering through the back door.

All right, everybody wait for my signal.

Hi, mama.

[Door shuts]

I'm sorry I'm late.

I came by earlier, there were policemen everywhere.

Yes, they were looking for you, Matthew.

Must have burnt out again. I'll get another one.

No no no no no, leave it, leave it.

How the light hurts my eyes.

Are you okay, mama?

Oh, I've been crying.

Crying about you, Matthew.

The police said that you've been a bad boy.

Have you been doing something you shouldn't?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Oh, they said that you've hurt some...

I said I don't wanna talk about it!

[Matthew crying]

I try to be good, mama. I do.

But it's so hard.

I need some sugar.

Well, you could check the kitchen.

I need some sugar, mama. Give me some sugar.

Oh, no. [Coughing]

What are you doing? I have a cold.

Don't... Hold me.

Please just hold me.

There there.

I've been a bad boy.


First come, first served. First come, first served.

Out of sight, out of mind.

There there. Blood is thicker than water.

What are you doing? Oh, nothing.

Mommy's just trying to remember something, dear.

I wish there were ten of them.

I wish there were ten of them.

Repeat, I wish there were ten of them.

That's close enough. Let's go.

Please, just hold me. I've been a bad boy!

Oh, clean spoon. It's a miracle.

Harriet teeger, holda teeger?

I like holda.

It's Scandinavian. It means lovable.

Wait, you want to change your name?

Wouldn't you?

Well, honey, I want you to be safe.

That's what's most important.

But I don't want this creep to change who we are or how we live.

It's just a name.

You know, naming you Julie was your dad's idea.

I know. Aunt Julie.

Yeah, but she wasn't just his favorite aunt.

She was an amazing person.

She was one of the first female w*r correspondents.

She was in Vietnam.

She was fearless.

Plus, she practically raised your dad.

I think it's a beautiful name.

It suits you.

Come on, let's keep it.

Okay. Okay.

Besides, holda teeger?

It's all over. We got him.

Thank god!

They're bringing him in right now.

See? Is that him?

(Monk) That's him.

And that's his mother.

You said if they caught him, I could take my driver's test.

No, I said maybe. Mom.

Okay, let's just leave it up to Mr. Monk.

If he says it's okay, you can go.

No no, don't drag me into this.

As you may recall, I have enough problems of my own.

Well, now you have another one.

All right, I gotta go call my parents.

They've been worried sick.

Mr. Monk. Mr. Monk, please.

I'm begging you. Julie!

Mr. Monk, I am begging you.

Julie, look, he's just a suspect.

Listen to me, we haven't even questioned him yet.

Mr. Monk, he's the guy.

When you came in, you said it was all over.

Well, it sounded good.

I wanted to make a big entrance.

Look, let me think about it, okay?

Mr. Monk, he's in jail. He can't do anything now.

Yeah, you know, I'm busy.

I got a lot of things to do.

I got all these yellow pencils.

Everybody's driving. All of my friends.

You were a kid once, weren't you?

Very briefly.

Then you remember what it's like.

I'm just trying to fit in, Mr. Monk.

I just wanna be normal.

Why don't you talk to the captain?

Oh no, not my jurisdiction.

Mr. Monk, the dmv is four blocks away on vinton street.

And if I leave now, I still might make it.

Please, Mr. Monk, look into your heart.

I am begging you.

Are you Julie teeger?

That's my mother's name.

Hey, get him the hell out of here.

You better be careful, Julie teeger.

Are you okay?

Oh, my god. He is so the guy.

That was, like, a confession.

So I can go now, right?

Mr. Monk, say yes.

Say yes. Say yes.

Julie, how are you gonna get there?

Your mother can't just leave.

I could drive her over.

She could drive me over.

Yeah, uh, fine.

Okay, good, yeah.

Thank you so much!

Thank you so much, Mr. Monk.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay, good. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.

Where's the girl?

The one I was talking to. I think she's in trouble.

Matthew, listen to me.

You've got other things to worry about right now.

You told my partner you'd been a bad boy.

We have it on tape.

I was talking to some girls in the park.

That's what I meant.

Mama doesn't like when I talk to girls.

You were more than talking.

You hurt them, didn't you?

There were two women had the same name as your mother.

No, I wouldn't hurt anybody.

Talk to my mother. She'll tell you.

Where is she?

What did you do with her?

So you love your mother.

Yes.

I don't think so. Yes, I do.

(Stottlemeyer) No, I think you hate your mother.

No, I don't. You hate your mother.

You hate your mother so much that you've been running around town k*lling her over and over again!

No, no! You're making me sound crazy.

I'm not crazy!

Where's my mother?

Where's my mother?

Where's my mother?

I want my mother.

Whatcha got there?

My rabbit's foot. It protects me.

Oh, right, well, you're gonna need it.

You drive a Nissan pickup truck, don't you?

It has a trailer hitch, right?

I don't know. I guess so.

Yeah.

And I believe this is your Kn*fe.

We found it in your boot.

(Matthew) Yeah.

I always wear that. I've had it my whole life.

I used to get teased a lot.

Really? Yeah.

If you don't believe me...

Ask my mother. Ask your mother.

Yeah.

He had a Kn*fe?

Strapped to his leg.

Randy, victim...

Victim one was k*lled with a steak Kn*fe.

I don't know.

I mean, he's a Kn*fe freak.

Didn't wanna get his own Kn*fe dirty.

I mean, monk, the guy's certifiable.

Thought I was his mother.

He's crazier than you.

Grant. Hugh Grant.

You know him. That actor?

The crazy actor.

Four weddings and a funeral.

Morning, miss teeger.

Mr. Carlson.

Do you have your permit?

There you go.

That was something, wasn't it?

I'm not usually a fan of the insanity defense, but in this case...

It's just creepy the way he talked to Julie.

[g*nshots]

Get down.

[g*nsh*t]

Stay down!

He's gone, captain.

We were leading him out. He grabbed hartman's w*apon.

Who's gone? Your guy.

Teeger.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

Pick up.

Pick up, Julie. Pick up.

Yeah, he stole a pizza delivery truck.

He's heading west towards the Plaza.

I'm leaving with Natalie right now.

We gotta make sure her kid's okay.

Hey, my car's right out front.

I'll drive. I don't think so.

Where the hell is monk?

Julie teeger?

She was probably one of the best tenants I ever had.

Who would do a thing like that?

Run over a girl on her bicycle and just keep going?

I don't know, ma'am.

[Cell phone ringing]

You were told to turn that off.

It's my mother.

Okay. Okay, okay.

I'm turning it off.

A lot of packages.

She got deliveries all the time.

From the ebay.

There's a box missing.

[Cell phone ringing]

A yellow one.

Excuse me.

Disher.

Did she get a delivery on Thursday?

The day she passed?

Now that you mention it, I think she did.

Monk, Matthew teeger just bolted.

We gotta roll.

Julie teeger!

Oh, my god.

What are you doing now?

Julie teeger!

Miss teeger.

Julie teeger!

That's not good.

He's trying to k*ll me!

They're just made of cardboard, miss teeger.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Julie teeger! Julie!

No, Julie teeger!

What is that? A three point turn?

Julie, no!

God!

Julie!

Oh, my god.

Open it up!

You got him?

Say the word.

Captain!

Take the sh*t.

[g*nsh*t]

He's not the guy.

He's not the guy?

(Monk) No, he's just trying to warn her.

This will protect you. But be careful.

There's a crazed k*ller on the loose.

Of course.

So if he's not the guy, who's the guy?

I remember this box was here in your living room the day your wife was k*lled.

And I found this piece in the other Julie's townhouse.

It's a perfect fit.

I don't understand. What does that prove?

It proves that you k*lled both women, Mr. Teeger.

First your wife, then the other Julie.

You were having an extra-marital sex affair.

That... Don't deny it, Mr. Teeger.

We already talked to her.

Her name's Maria Hamilton.

You've been seeing her for three years.

She said you got in a fight last week.

She wanted to teach you a lesson.

(Stottlemeyer) She was a woman scorned.

You left a bunch of things at her place, she decided to mail them to your wife.

(Monk) But the mailing label was torn.

The post office couldn't read the address.

They delivered the package to Julie teeger.

Not your wife.

The other Julie... The wrong Julie teeger.

(Disher) The post office confirmed it.

The two Julies got their mail mixed up all the time.

(Monk) She was a good neighbor.

She brought the box over to the other Julie.

I mean, the second Julie.

I mean your wife.

Whatever happened, it must have happened quickly.

It got ugly.

You grabbed a Kn*fe, and you k*lled her right over there in the hall.

You wanted to make it look like a burglary.

You wanted to say you weren't even home.

There was just one problem.

You were afraid that Julie teeger, not your wife, the other... You know who I mean.

You were afraid she saw too much.

You ran her down before she got home.

The trailer hitch on your SUV matches the wound on Julie teeger's back.

Julie number two, not your Julie.

Yes.

I know which one you mean.

I promised that I would catch your wife's k*ller.

Remember?

Turn around, Georgie.

[Cell phone ringing]

We'd have been here sooner, but you got lucky.

There was another Julie teeger whose son has a few problems.

Took us a while to realize we had the wrong guy.

What? Oh, no!

How did this happen?

All right, well, I understand.

Thank you for calling.

What?

That was Julie's school.

That let her re-take her driver's test.

Good news?

No, she passed!

Natalie, how will this impact my sitting in the front seat?

Congratulations!

Sorry, Natalie.

Julie!

Nice wheels, kiddo.

So your mom finally caved in, huh?

She always does.

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

My car's still in the shop.

Want a ride?

What's so funny?

Nothin'.

Thank you, I would love a ride, Julie.

Thank you.

That's Gina, and that's Kimberly.

Hi, Gina and Kimberly.
Post Reply