04x03 - The Good News

[bunniefuu]

Remind me,
when did you stop taking the pills?

They ran out on the 2nd.

I'd say I would expect to be fertile again
at the end of the cycle,

although from my experience,
it's more likely a month.

All this time I've been afraid to skip one,
but it could take a month?

Why don't you join him for basic training?
It would boost the men's morale.

From what I remember,
San Antonio is lovely this time of year.

We don't know when he's going.

You've been married two years, Joan?
Most gals your age don't wait.

We have a plan.

JoJo, I know it's none of my business,

but I only went to Korea
because they made me.

I didn't have a choice or a wife.

All I want to know is
if my husband and I can start a family...

When my husband and I can start a family.

Go get them.

-Walter.
-Yes?

I just want to make sure that...

Well, you know I've had
a couple of procedures.

I just want to make sure
they don't affect anything.

A couple? I only remember one.

There was one before that.
Should I be worried?

Was the other performed by a physician?

She said she was a midwife.

Well, you got pregnant subsequently,
and I know everything went fine here.

And, physically, everything looks fine.

Like the song says,
"Whatever will be, will be."

Happy New Year.

-Good morning, Mr. Draper.
-Good morning, Allison.

Coffee?

Yes, please.

I'm glad I caught you before you left.

The flight's not until 12:30.

Well, still, you've got to tight the tourists
for a taxi,

and then if you hit traffic,
Triborough Bridge,

somebody's always running out of gas,
and I think you know who.

So I saw, on your way to Acapulco,
you have 24 hours in Los Angeles.

What do you want?

The Brown Derby, Bill Asher.
He'll probably try to cast you.

-Morning, Don, Harry.
-Hello.

-Am I interrupting?
-No.

I'll see you at the traffic meeting
this afternoon.

We're still doing that? Why?

Just go to England already.
Stop feeling guilty.

Take two weeks. You'll be twice as happy.

I'm happy when I'm working.

And I'm sure another day and a half of work
will not come close

to the amount of fiddling about
you did in Los Angeles this year.

Okay. Happy New Year, Don.

There you are.
Please make sure he signs these.

If I don't see you, happy New Year.

Enjoy your family.

-Would you like to sign these now?
-Might as well.

So, what will you be doing?

Don't worry. I'll be here till the bitter end.

No, I mean for New Year's.

I'm gonna go see my sister in Paterson
over the weekend,

and, I don't know, probably Times Square.

I always wondered who did that.

It was a little scary last year,

but I think we'll have a whole bunch of girls
this time.

-And sailors.
-I'm sure.

But for the rest of the week, if you want me
or someone else on your desk

-for West Coast hours, I can arrange that.
-I'll be fine.

Well, I'll let you know
when you should leave.

Thank you.

Why is the door shut?

I don't like pipe smoke.
He's very considerate.

-Could you tell him I'm here?
-What is this regarding?

Sorry to bother you,
but since Roger's not here,

I am sending Caroline uptown
to get me some fried chicken for lunch,

and I know you like it. Interested?

I am.

Breast? Thigh?

One of each.

I wanted to ask you,
I would like to put in a request now

for a few days off
the second week of January.

But you have New Year's off.

My husband's a doctor.
His schedule's not flexible.

Why don't you go home
and ask him how he would feel

about some nurse asking for a holiday
immediately following a holiday?

I would be happy with two days.

Our financial planning and expense budgets
for next year,

I'll need you to assist me.

We can do it now.
No one Knows why we're here anyway.

Because there's work to do.

And I understand that all men are dizzy
and powerless to refuse you,

but consider me the incorruptible exception.

Fried chicken indeed.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.

Now don't go and cry about it.

Excuse me?

I said, don't go and cry about it.

Hey.

Get off my porch.

You actually came.

What the hell happened to your leg?

It's broken.
It didn't work that well to begin with.

How are you?

You just need a little R&R.

What happened?

Here's the lesson.
Don't fry eggs in bare feet.

Sit down.

-What do you want?
-Half of what you have.

You've got a leak.

I fixed the roof. It just needs a little makeup.

Call a painter.

I don't know. Once it stopped smelling,
I kind of forgot about it.

I wondered whose car that was. Hello, d*ck-

-Hello, Patty. it's been too long.
-Stephanie.

Stephanie. Last time I saw you,
you didn't have front teeth.

They're helping me
while I'm in my fragile state,

although no one asked them to.

Can I get you something?

No, we live in South Pasadena.
It's a long drive.

-Are you staying?
-Just for the night.

-Here?
-Patty,

remember you told me to tell you
if you were intruding?

Try to keep her off her feet.

The cast isn't stable,
and we don't need any more accidents.

Aunt Anna, I just left everything on the bed.
I don't Know where things go.

You can tell by looking.

She's never gotten over me
flunking home-ec.

d*ck, fix her a drink.

-Are you drinking age?
-Yes, but don't bother.

Stephanie is studying Poli Sci at Cal.
She should be studying music.

Berkeley? Are you sitting in?

I agree with what they're doing,
but somebody's gotta go to class.

-Steph, are you ready?
-Why don't you two stay for dinner?

Glenn and I have a bridge game
at the Dicksons',

and he's expecting a dinner of his own.

Good, 'cause I only want her to stay.

How will she get home?

I have a car.

Or she'll spend the night.
You can get her in the morning.

Okay, you figure it out.
Good night, sweetheart.

You know I'm very grateful.

-If I don't see you, d*ck, happy New Year.
-Happy New Year.

I'm going to wash the road off me,

and then we are going to that place
with the beer and abalone.

Perfect. Sounds like there's towels
all over the bed.

Why am I staying?

I wanted him to meet you,
and I know you've got grass.

Hello.

Come over here.

Is that your dinner?

I love your chicken.

How was the doctor?

Everything's good.

Good. I have to go.

Let me at least heat it up.
You can take it with you.

Peabody's offered his place in the Poconos
for the 14th and 15th.

Greg, I can't get away, not then.

Jeanie, I have to work New Year's.
I had to trade it for January.

Then get one of the Jewish docs to do it.
You worked on their holiday.

Jeanie, you don't think
I'd rather be smelling perfume than Lysol?

Tell me what you want me to do.

Because it's not your problem, too?

Why don't you just not show up?

I'll lose my job.

-We'll make it.
-Until when?

Until I leave for basic,

and then it's just a couple of weeks,
and then I'll be home.

And then you're going to Vietnam.

We don't know that.

That makes me feel better.

Just keep marking off the days
on the calendar

while I keep planning for our future.

I'll see you tomorrow
when you're on your way out.

You don't even know when you're going!

Soon.

So I'd say Laura was the worst roommate.

She had a nervous breakdown-

One morning, she's reading the Bible
instead of her psych book.

The next morning she woke me up,
leaning over me with this crazy smile

and said, "Morning, Stephanie.
Have you heard the good news?"

There are worse things.

No, there aren't.

Where did you go to school, d*ck?

I strung together
a few nonconsecutive years

in night school, City College.

A self-made man.

What's it like taking off your suit
and returning to the wild?

I really don't like
how political you're getting.

I'm not political.
I just don't understand who's in charge.

You're in charge.

Trust me. I work in advertising.

You're kidding me.

It's pollution.

So stop buying things.

Don't think that's not possible.

I'll say this in terms you'll understand.

I will be right back after this brief message
from Jan and Dean.

I like to think I had a bit of a hand in that.

You and God.

Young people are gonna save us.

How would you feel
about me bringing the kids out this spring?

Really?

You know how badly
I've wanted to meet them.

So what, I'll be their aunt?

Wait till they tell Betty that.

You told me you told her everything.
She'll understand.

I don't think she'll ever understand.

You had to know she'd be hurt.

After I told her, I felt relieved.

I kept thinking how small it was
compared to how long it went on.

-Small?
-I know. I know.

It's just...

I could tell.

The minute she saw who I really was,

she never wanted to look at me again.

Which is why I never told her.

d*ck.

I'm sorry she broke your heart.

I had it coming.

I thought I'd play something
so you two could dance.

How the hell am I gonna dance?

I don't know how you ever danced to this.

Come on.

Keep your hands at 10:00 and 2:00.

So you picked this song because it's old?

That doesn't mean it's bad.

It's kind of corny.

I think it sounds like she's inviting us
to a very beautiful place

where there's no surfing at all.

Have you ever been there?

No.

But every time I hear this song, I want to go.

I know for a fact
you did not break that leg making eggs.

I used to love sitting,
and now that I have to, I hate it.

I should get home.

I'll drive you. I'll put the top up.

That's okay. I'll hitch.

I do it all the time.

You'll get picked up by some creep.

I guess this is safer.

So, are you married or divorced?

Couldn't I just be single?

No. I mean, I'd be surprised.

I'm divorced.

Do you go on those dates
where you sit there

and ask each other questions?

It's a means to an end.

But nobody knows
what's wrong with themselves,

and everyone else can see it right away.

-Thank you very much.
-it's my pleasure.

So, what time's your flight tomorrow?

Noon.

Unless you think I should change it.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

You're so beautiful and young.

Anna and I
never had a romantic relationship.

But you love her.

For lots of reasons.

And in a very different way.

I have to tell you something,

and I probably shouldn't.

I promised I wouldn't,

but I see you two together,
and I know I have to.

Okay.

Anna is...

She has cancer-

-What?
-it's why she broke her leg.

It's in her bones. it's all over her body.

I'm sorry.

Cancer. sh*t.

I'm so sorry.

Of course she's not gonna say a damn thing.

She doesn't know.

What?

The doctors said she doesn't have long,
so there's no reason to tell her.

Some quacks out in Pedro?
What are you going to do about it?

My mom got a consultation.

Your mother does not get to decide that.

Please don't make me sorry that I told you.

I didn't want you to leave here
and not know.

Good morning.

I woke up in a panic
because I thought I might've missed you-

But it doesn't look like you're ready to go.

-I thought I'd stay a little longer, if it's okay.
-Hell yes.

Stay as long as you want.

We'll see.

If I had rolled over on this,
I would've had to smoke the dress.

How'd you sleep?

I was feeling no pain, as they say.

In fact, I don't know if I would've woken up
if I hadn't heard that jet fly by.

And I thought,
"Oh, my God. d*ck left already."

There's all kinds of aircraft here, you know.

If we stay up tonight and we get lucky,
we'll see something you'll remember.

If we keep smoking that.

I've seen UFOs.

There was a lot going on
during the m*ssile scare,

but it was different.

You saw a UFO?

You don't have to do that, you know.

I want to.

I'm not gonna fight watching d*ck Whitman
paint my living room in his shorts.

I'm so damn proud of you.

I count on it.

Does that scare you?

The idea of another civilization
on another planet

smart enough to find a way to get here?

It doesn't scare me,
but the odds are against it.

Well, I saw something once,

and I'm telling you, it knocked me sideways.

I started thinking of everything
I was sure was true

and how flimsy it all might be.

You don't need to see a UFO to know that.

That's not a great way to think about things.

I know everything about you,
and I still love you.

Are you just gonna paint that corner?

'Cause a patch of new paint
is just as bad as a stain.

What the hell is going on?

You're gonna get arrested.

No, you are. That's breaking and entering.

I thought you had a flight to catch.

I changed my plans.

You just can't keep your pants on, can you?

You never know what's gonna set her off.

-I need to talk to you.
-I bet.

I heard your car pull up at 2:30.
She's half your age.

What's your plan?

Just gonna let her wake up one day in agony
and you tell her it's over?

I'm going to assume

that you've done everything
in your limited means,

but I'm here now.

She's gonna see some real doctors,
and she's not gonna live in the dark.

We showed the X-rays
to specialists, everybody.

It's very advanced.

Specialists? You don't think she knows
something's going on?

She had polio. She's been going to doctors
since she was eight. Maybe...

I don't know.

She hasn't let on,
so this is the way it's gonna be.

I understand you feel guilty, but don't.

Go to Acapulco.
There's nothing for you to do here.

She is very important to me.

I'm gonna do what I have to.

You have no say in the affairs of this family.

You're just a man in a room
with a checkbook. I'm sorry.

Please do the decent thing.

The longer you're here,
the more likely you are to say something.

She thinks you brought the pot, I bet.

If it wasn't for my niece,
we'd have k*lled each other by now.

She means well, and she's family.

I wouldn't have picked her.

I'm just saying not everybody has that.

You have your kids. I bet that's better.

It's different.

I have to tell you something.

What's wrong?

I have to go.

I'm sorry.

I thought I could stay, but I can't.

I don't care.

I want you to.

I want you to do everything you want to do.

I'll bring the kids out at Easter.

We'll go to Catalina, see the bison.

Acapulco.

Do you think there's more Mexicans here
or there?

Joan.

Open it.

They're beautiful.

It's so encouraging to see someone
happily married around here.

Peggy, why don't you go home?

I'll tell everyone
you have something important to do.

Really? I have to buy a dress.

New Year's Eve, big group of girls,
you'll want to stand out.

No, I'm spending it with Mark.
My boyfriend?

Happy New Year.

Excuse me.

-"Darling, I've been an ass. Kisses, Lane"?
-What?

I am not your darling,
and I don't want your kisses.

-What?
-I thought American men were bad enough,

but none of them has ever so consistently

made me feel like
a helpless, stupid little girl.

Calm down. I did send you flowers,
but I also sent flowers to my wife in London.

The sentiments were very different,
I assure you. Sandy!

-Is everything okay?
-Yes.

Just get back to work. Sandy!

Did it ever occur to you
how sensitive these deliveries were?

How often do I send flowers?

I ordered the flowers from Rhinelander's.

They assured me they were going
to contact your florist in London,

and somehow they mixed them up.
It's not my fault.

Sandra, everyone makes mistakes,

but the fact that you're the kind of person
who cannot accept blame is egregious.

I don't know what that means.

It means I can't believe I hired you.

You had one simple task.

I don't even know if I can call to apologize.

What exactly did Mrs. Harris' note say?

It said, "Joan, forgive me. Lane."

You're fired. Go get your things.
You'll be paid through the end of the year.

Those instructions you understood!

I'll have Megan clean this up.

What are you doing?

You inspired me.

Would you like to sign your work?

-Really?
-Pick a spot on the wall.

You should swim as much as you can there.

It'll clear your head.

But no cliff diving.

Hey. You'll be fine.

You'll make the best of it. You always do.

You know you can call me
if you need anything.

Goodbye, Anna.

Goodbye, d*ck.

Mn Draper?

Mr. Draper?

-Happy New Year.
-Happy New Year.

Hey, what are you doing up?

I figured since we missed it here,
we could celebrate it in Hawaii.

Look at that.

I'm sorry. I ate dinner at 3:00.

A bowl of cottage cheese in the cafeteria?

How about a glass
of fresh-squeezed orange juice?

Sure.

The nurses spent five minutes
trying to get this girl's contact lenses out.

She was screaming.

It turns out her friend was the one
with the contact lenses.

God!

-Oh, God.
-Let me see.

-I cut it really bad, Greg. It really hurts.
-Jesus.

Hold this.

-Just take me to the hospital.
-Sit down.

Greg, you don't have to do this.

Would you stop?

Isn't there some medical ethical law
against operating on your wife?

I want you to calm down.

For me, this is like,
I don't know, filing some papers is for you.

I do it all the time.

I don't do that anymore.
I have other people do that.

It's really throbbing. Let me get my coat.

Hey, since when have we had
that bird's nest on the ceiling?

I usually save that for kids.

Now, don't move.

One hillbilly says to the other,

"You wanna play 20 questions?"

The other hillbilly says, "What is that?"

He says,
"I write something on a piece of paper,

"and you get 20 questions
to guess what it be."

So he takes out a piece of paper
and writes "donkey d*ck" on it.

The other hillbilly takes a second to think

and asks, "Can I eat it?"

The other hillbilly says,
"I might reckon you could."

The other one says,

"Is it donkey d*ck?"

Cohen told me that.

Come on. it's fine.

I'm not crying 'cause it hurts.

Everything's gonna be okay.

When?

Jeanie.

I can't fix anything else,

but I can fix this.

Hello?

Hello?

I thought you were in Acapulco.

I didn't feel like it.

You should be in England with your family.

Too much to do.
They'll be back soon enough.

I have a sandwich in the refrigerator.
It's very large.

No, thank you. Do you mind?

Help yourself.

I received something rather special
from my father

-for my birthday.
-What is it?

Who knows?

He's one of those alcoholics
who thinks that he's collecting.

Chin-chin.

-There's no...
-No bite at all.

Well,

I will let you get back to your business.

I made a discovery
as I slowly pulled back from the records.

I can't take any more bad news, Lane.

Although things are precarious financially,

it's been a magnificent year.

Lane!

-What?
-Come here.

We're going to the movies.

-Do you think we should?
-Does Howdy Doody have a wooden d*ck?

Zorba the Greek, seen it,
but would see it again.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World. No kidding.

-Send Me No Flowers.
-No.

The g*ns of August.

I hate g*ns and I hate August.

It's all over the rug.

We'll have to smoke the dress.

Well, I don't know that one.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg.

Catherine Deneuve.

Apparently, it's for all the young lovers
of the world.

This movie is very good.

You know what's going on here, don't you?

-Handjobs.
-ls that right?

What percentage do you think?

Do you mind?

Monster!

You like it here?

I do. I do. Even alone.

You remind me of a chap I knew in school.

We followed him around in a pack,
and he didn't notice we were there.

He d*ed in a motorcycle crash.

Rebecca convinced me
that you were all on holiday together

without me.

I suppose we haven't been very welcoming.

Campbell's friendly,
although I believe unintentionally.

But my wife is quite severe with people,
including me.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I wanted to bring our families
to New York for the holidays,

but she was terribly homesick.

We had an argument, a series of arguments,
and she left.

I then weakened and sent her flowers.

Tried to, anyway.

Then we had a rather solemn phone call
in which she told me she was not returning.

Then she put my son on the phone.

That's tough.

How did you know when you were done?

It wasn't my decision.

And I've learned the hard way
not to give advice in these situations.

You were supposed to tell me
to get on a plane.

Is that what you want?

Or is that what people expect of you?

I want my beef.

Here it is.

I was going to call a lady friend of mine.

I'm supposed to meet her downtown.

Do you want her to bring a friend?

No, no. No, thank you.

What are you gonna do?

We can pretend it's New Year's. It actually is.

If you don't mind.

It's the least I can do.

-I'm not hungry.
-What?

Not hungry
for this beautiful piece of American meat?

Look at me!

I got a big Texas belt buckle!

I'm thinking, "Did my mother get suspicious
and Call the fuzz?"

”We know you're practicing self-abuse.
Please come out with your hand up. ”

I see we have an anniversary here tonight.

Look at these two, George and Martha.

Tell me, what's it like when your eyes meet
across a crowded men 's room?

Wall Street, does it bother your parents
that he's so ugly?

So we all want to know
at the end of the night,

when it's just the two of you,
who picks up the check?

We're not h*m*! We're divorced!

Don't.

Man- Now they're gonna fight in the car
all the way home.

"Honey why'd you provoke the comedian?"

Okay, now welcome
a talented young musician

whose mother says he's the next Bob Dylan.

-Candace, this is Lane.
-And this is my friend Janine.

-Hello.
-A pleasure.

I guess I was wrong. You're not queers.
You're rich.

A warm welcome for Rudy Jensen.

-You ladies look lovely.
-Why, thank you.

It's true.

I love this song.

-Really? He wrote it.
-Don't. She'll believe anything.

What?

Let's get out of here.

You have no mixers at all and no food.

I love your apartment. It's very manly.

It came this way.
I think Norman Mailer sh*t a deer over there.

I love deer.

Get your tail in here and help me.

She seems to know her way around
in your kitchen.

What's that like?

I told you I don't like giving advice
in these situations.

Why don't you show me around?

I suppose I am a bit curious myself.

Not in there.

What happened to Acapulco?

She does not go to Barnard.

Guys like him like that.

-Come on. Let's go in the other room.
-No.

Here.

Morning.

Morning.

I'm terribly thirsty.

We'll have coffee in a minute.

Just a glass of water, please.

What do I owe you for the evening?

-Don't worry about it.
-I should pay.

The girl, how much was she?

$25.

Fascinating.

Here's $30.

Well, I shall be running along.

Thank you for the welcome distraction.

Sorry.

All right. Gentlemen, shall we begin 1965?