[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ How did I get
Delivered here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me, please ♪
♪ This whole world's
Confusin' me ♪
♪ Flowers as mean ♪
♪ As you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird Who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
Inside you whispers: ♪
♪ "Kid, don't sell your
dreams So soon" ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
Good morning. Hey, good morning.
Good morning. You
guys missed breakfast.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was up all night
with this belly.
Did you guys ever try to sleep
with a watermelon
in your pajamas?
Yeah, once.
Yeah, it was a pretty
rough night for me too.
What are you talking about?
You were sleeping like a baby,
all cuddled up
with your blankie.
You have a blankie?
How adorable.
It's not a blankie,
it's a blanket.
All right, it's Mr. Blanket.
Beck, look, I-I-I'm sorry you
can't sleep. I feel bad for you.
I mean, I... I wish I could
carry those twins for you.
Oh, gee, Jess, you're really
going out on a limb there.
No, you know, I...
I would like to know how
it feels to be pregnant.
Good.
I'll arrange it.
What does she mean by,
[AS BECKY]
"Good, I'll arrange it"?
I don't know, but
medical science
is doing some pretty darn
amazing things nowadays.
Becky, wait up!
Hey, Dad.
Don't forget I'm gonna be
home late after school today.
I'm gonna meet Eddie Johnson,
my adopted grandparent,
at the nursing home.
I am really proud of you, Deej.
Volunteering to spend some
of your free time every week
visiting a senior
citizen, it's great.
Well, I'm kind of nervous
about meeting Eddie.
I mean, what am I
gonna talk to him about?
He's 75 years old.
Well, you talk to
him about his life.
He's been through
the Great Depression,
two world wars, five Stooges.
Ask him how he
felt the first time
he saw Curly use that
eye-gouge deflector.
[AS CURLY] Yeah!
[AS CURLY] Oh, why
you... Barng-rrrrng! Ah!
[SNAPPING AND CLAPPING]
BOTH: Ahh!
Ha.
Thanks, you've been a big help.
Come on, Deej. Eddie's
gonna like you a lot.
You're a terrific girl,
and you're doing
a wonderful thing.
You make me realize
that there's a lot of hope
for the younger generation.
Hey, Deej, guess
how many corn dogs
I can fit in my mouth.
Six.
Eight if I remove the sticks.
Then again, "hope"
might be too strong a word.
Have a good day.
Bye, Dad. Bye, Joey.
JOEY: Bye, girls.
Okay, ready to jump, Comet?
One, two...
Time-out. Why can't
Comet jump over you?
Because I'm the trainer,
and you're the
thing he jumps over.
Okay, just asking.
Okay, ready, Comet?
One, two, three, jump!
If you wanna see tricks,
you should see my dog, Coco.
Drinking from the
toilet is not a trick.
It is when she does
it through a straw.
Coco's the smartest
dog on the block.
Oh, yeah? Why don't we
invite all the dogs on the block
to come over after school
to do their best trick?
Then we'll see whose
dog's the smartest.
Well, you're on. I know
Coco's smarter than Comet.
Kimmy...
you're not even
smarter than Comet.
[♪♪♪]
Okay, old-timer, what's
the name of this game?
Gin.
That's the name.
Eh-heh.
That's $24,000 you owe me.
[LAUGHS]
Just put it on account.
Yeah, on account
of you got no money.
NURSE: Eddie,
you have a visitor.
Hi, Mr. Johnson.
I'm D.J. Tanner from the
Adopt-A-Grandparent program.
I'm here to visit you.
Well, say, yeah,
well, I got a little time before
Love Connection starts.
Check her in. Start visiting.
So, Eddie.
So, D.J.
What was the Great
Depression like?
How does it sound?
Depressing?
Good answer.
[LAUGHS]
Yeah.
Well, you know,
you smile just like
my little girl, Gloria.
Really?
Yeah. She's all grown up now,
living in Florida.
I haven't seen her since...
Oh...
Hey, wait a minute,
what are we doing here?
We're supposed to be having fun.
You know how to
play bumper pool?
No.
Me neither.
Grab yourself a cue over there.
We'll learn together.
[CHUCKLES]
Comet, you remember what to do?
[BARKS]
Michelle, do you
remember what to do?
Duh!
Okay, ready to
jump, Comet? Jump.
[AS SCOOBY DOO] Way
to go, Comet. Good boy.
Good dog, Comet.
Here's your treat.
Good girl, Michelle.
Here's your treat.
Hey, this is a liver snap.
Oh, sorry, I gave
Comet your cookie.
What a rip-off.
BECKY: Jess, come on.
Come on. You said
you wanted to know
what it was like to be
pregnant. Now, get down here.
[LAUGHING]
You done?
Not yet.
[LAUGHING]
Okay, now I'm done.
[LAUGHING]
I'm not wearing this thing.
It's gotta weigh 25 pounds.
Wait a minute,
so does this thing.
I went through a lot of trouble
to get that sympathy pad
from my childbirth coach.
And if you really wanted to
know what I was going through
you would wear it for
more than five minutes.
Unless, of course,
you're not man
enough to be pregnant.
[SCOFFS]
I'm as much man as you are.
Oh, yeah? Fine.
I'll make you a little bet.
Since we've been arguing
over wallpaper for the nursery
I'll bet you
that you can't last
one day in that pad.
And if I win, I get
to put up my choice.
Fun at the circus.
Yeah, and when I win,
we'll put up my choice.
Elvis... the wallpaper.
You know, Jess...
you can talk the talk
but can you walk the walk?
Aah! Yes, Eddie,
that is three games in a row.
Okay, okay, so that's
$24,000 I owe you.
Get it from him.
Eddie, I'll see you next
week. I have to get home.
My little sisters are
having this dog show,
and I promised I'd be the judge.
Oh, boy, would I love
to go to a dog show.
I mean, a man who
loves dogs as much as me
that would just
about make my day.
Would you like to
go to the dog show?
Oh, if you insist.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, great. Do we need to
get permission for you to leave?
What do you think? I gotta
ask just to get out of this door?
I've done whatever
I want all my life,
except for those 41
years I was married.
Well, great, let's go.
Okay... Uh...
Let me just tell my
friend I'm stepping out.
D.J.: Okay.
Hey, I'm getting out
of here, you old goat.
I'm going to a dog show.
That little girl isn't allowed
to take you out of here.
What if you have one
of your spells out there?
I'm not gonna have
any of my spells.
Now, just... Here. Take...
Hold on to this candy bar.
I'm not allowed to eat candy.
I know that. Just hold on to it.
Uh, nurse,
Ferguson is over there
trying to sneak a candy bar.
Go on over there and nail him.
Mr. Ferguson.
Shall we?
I'd be delighted.
[♪♪♪]
Follow me, Eddie. The
dog show's in the back yard.
Okay.
[SIGHS]
Eddie, this is my Uncle Jesse.
How you doing, Eddie?
Oh, boy, a pregnant man.
Wow.
I gotta get out more often.
No, no, no. No, see, Eddie,
I-I'm not really pregnant.
See, I'm, uh... I-I had this
bet with my... My pregnant wife
and she bet I can't
wear this for 24 hours.
Let me tell you, it's been
two hours, and I feel great.
Except of course,
my... My back hurts,
my ankles are
beginning to swell,
and I think I'm retaining water.
[LAUGHING]
Oh, good, Deej, you're here.
Uh, we're ready to
start the dog show.
Eddie, this is Joey. Hi.
Well, Joey, what branch
of the service are you in?
Actually, I'm Ranger Joe
from the Enchanted Forest.
Hey, let's just get going, huh?
You do have that special glow.
[LAUGHS]
Hey, Eddie, you can help
me judge the dog show.
Eddie, are you coming?
What?
Oh, yeah. Come on, Gloria.
You gotta hurry. You're
gonna be late for school.
What are you talking about?
Huh?
Well, you just called
me Gloria. I'm D.J.
Hey, yeah... I know who you are.
Come on, D.J., we gotta
get to that dog show.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
Hi. Hey.
Well, I picked up first
prize for the dog show.
A pooper-scooper.
So, uh, how's your
bet with Becky coming?
Oh, It's going good.
I'm just gonna take
this off for a while
'cause my back is k*lling me.
Yeah, but, Jess, that
would be cheating.
Don't be such a goody-goody.
I'm not cheating because of me.
I'm doing it for guys
across the whole country
who sh**t off their mouths
and have to suffer for it.
Here, you... You
watch the kitchen door.
I'll watch the front door.
Gotcha.
[SIGHING] Oh.
You know, I know
us men are cheated
out of experiencing
the miracle of birth but...
[VELCRO RIPS]
who cares.
[SIGHING WITH RELIEF] Oh.
I bet I could take the weights
outta that and put feathers in,
Becky'd never
know the difference.
Ah, my neck is k*lling me.
Thanks, Danny.
Ah, can you do my back?
Hey, who's watching
the kitchen door?
I am.
Then who's...?
Take a wild guess. Oh!
Hi, Beck.
Thanks a lot.
She didn't come through my door.
Beck, I'm sorry. I just... I
was just takin a little break.
Look. I'm strapping
this puppy right back on.
[CHUCKLING] Oh,
ho-ho. No, no, no.
That's not how it
works, buddy boy.
I can't unstrap this puppy.
You lost.
I get to pick the wallpaper.
Fun at the circus.
That nursery is
gonna be full of clowns,
all laughing at you.
All right, all right, you win.
I admit it, you babes
are pretty tough
to carry that around
for nine months.
Oh, well, I know I
complain sometimes,
but the truth is, it's worth it.
Carrying our twins has been
the most wonderful
experience of my life.
You're incredible.
How does a total
body massage sound?
Oh, like heaven.
Good, 'cause I
could really use one.
[APPLAUSE]
[BARKS]
Okay, guys, when
we win first place,
there'll be something
extra in each of your bowls.
It better not be dog food.
Okay, next up,
you've seen him at all
the local fire hydrants.
You've even chased
him off your own lawn.
Now, here he is in person.
Give it up for Sparky!
[APPLAUSE] [BARKING]
Thanks, Ranger Joe.
Sparky will now
do his funny walk.
[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]
I give him four stars.
That little wiener Sparky's
gonna be tough to beat.
I wonder why Kimmy
didn't show up with Coco.
'Cause her dog's a chicken.
Hey... I made a joke.
[LAUGHS]
Okay, now it's time
for our last contestant.
He's a Pisces.
He loves windsurfing
and rubber pork chops.
Please say hello to
the amazing Comet!
And the amazing
thing he jumps over.
[APPLAUSE]
[BARKS]
And now,
Comet will fly through
the air, over my little sister,
and land on the other side.
Okay, on your mark. Get set...
Sorry I'm late. We've
gotta do this fast.
I've gotta get Coco
back in my mother's lap
before she wakes up.
Okay, Comet, go!
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
Come on, Comet. Do your stuff.
Comet, like this.
Oh, that was an
excellent jump, sweetheart.
I did my job. Where's my cookie?
And now, for your
listening pleasure,
Coco Gibbler will accompany me
in "Polly Wolly
Doodle All the Day."
♪ Oh, I went down
South For to see my Sal ♪
Take it, Coco.
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
I think Comet and
Coco are in love.
If they get married,
that would make us in-laws.
Comet, think about this.
Sure, she's all fluffed
up and groomed now,
but how's she gonna
look in the morning?
Okay, the decision of the
judges is unanimous. Eddie?
And the winner is the dog
with the funny walk, Sparky.
[APPLAUSE] We won! We won!
All right, young man,
here is your prize.
A pooper-scooper?
Haven't you ever
heard of a trophy?
DANNY: Why don't I show you
how good that pooper-scooper works?
Teddy, why don't you
give it a try over here.
Hi, I'm Nurse Thomas from
the Golden Gate Nursing Home.
Um, D.J., Eddie was not
allowed to leave the home
without being signed
out by a family member.
He never told me that.
Where is Eddie?
He was here a minute ago.
He's probably in the house.
Is Eddie okay?
I'm afraid not.
Come on.
Eddie?
Here you are.
You cleaned up your
room real nice, Gloria.
Gloria?
You're doing it again.
Now, you be nice
or I'm not gonna let
you watch Howdy Doody.
Howdy Doody?
That was on before I was born.
Eddie, why are you doing this?
Doing what?
You just called me Gloria
and said I couldn't
watch Howdy Doody.
I did? Oh, shucks.
I was just playing around, D.J.
Eddie, there's a nurse
here looking for you,
and I think we're
both in trouble.
Why didn't you tell me you
weren't supposed to leave?
So I snuck out and
had a good time.
Now, what's the big deal?
The big deal is you're not
allowed out without permission.
Come on, D.J.,
you worry too much.
Everything's fine.
Everything's not fine.
I wanna be your friend,
but friends need to
tell each other the truth.
You want the truth?
Most of the time, I'm fine.
But every now and then,
they say that my mind sort of...
drifts off.
But I always find my way back.
Are you gonna be all right?
Hey, come on, Eddie
Johnson's a fighter.
[GRUNTS]
He's in here.
Eddie, not good.
Don't sh**t. I'll go peacefully.
Hey,
I'm really sorry if I
caused you all this trouble.
And if you don't come
to visit me anymore,
I'll understand.
But I gotta tell you,
this has been one
of the best days
I've had in a long time.
I had a great time too.
Okay, let's go back.
Bye.
Dad,
I was talking to Eddie,
and he didn't know who I was.
Well, sweetheart,
the nurse told me
that Eddie is showing
the early signs
of Alzheimer's disease.
It affects his memory,
and sometimes he...
He doesn't know where
he is or what he's doing.
Is he gonna get better?
Well, the truth is, uh,
if he has Alzheimer's
he's gonna get worse.
And there's no cure?
Not yet.
I can't believe this.
I really liked Eddie.
What am I supposed to do?
Just keep going back there
and watch him get
worse and worse?
I know, I know.
This is not an easy thing to do.
Why did I become a volunteer?
Why did you?
Well, 'cause I
wanted to help people.
Well, I think you know the
best way to help somebody
is by being their friend.
Did you see Eddie at the
dog show laughing today?
He just said today was
one of the best days
he's had in a long time.
That's all thanks to you, Deej.
You can do a lot for him just
by... brightening up his day
and giving him someone
to look forward to.
[SIGHS]
I'll be right back, Dad.
We gotta start taking
field trips to this house.
In one afternoon,
I saw a dog show,
a man in a ranger suit
and a pregnant man.
Eddie, you need a nap.
Eddie, wait.
Um, I wanted to
ask you something.
Would you stay for dinner
with me and my family?
DANNY: Actually,
we'd love to have you both.
Well, I need to
get back to work,
but Eddie can stay if he wants.
I couldn't impose.
But just out of curiosity,
what are you having?
Lasagna.
I'll impose for lasagna.
Bye. Behave.
Bye-bye. Bye.
Would you like to
help me set the table?
[SNAPS] I'd be delighted.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪