♪ Come and listen to my
story 'bout a man named Jed
♪ A poor mountaineer
barely kept his family fed
♪ And then one day he
was sh**ting at some food
♪ And up through the
ground come a-bubbling crude
♪ Oil, that is ♪
Black gold Texas tea
♪ Well, the first thing you
know old Jed's a millionaire
♪ The kinfolk said "Jed,
move away from there"
♪ Said "California's
the place you oughta be"
♪ So they loaded up the
truck and they moved to Beverly
♪ Hills, that is
♪ Swimming pools Movie stars ♪
The Beverly Hillbillies.
I don't wanna hear
no more bellyaching.
I been telling you for two weeks that
this was gonna be scrub-down day.
We're gonna wash this place from ceiling
to cellar and nothing's gonna stop us.
Elly May, Jethro.
Commence upstairs.
- But, Granny, I was going to the beach.
- On the double.
Jed.
Don't get smart.
And you... wipe that
smile off your face.
You're gonna get up there
and dust that chandelier.
Jed'll put the
ladder up for you.
[KNOCKING]
Granny, that might be Dash
Riprock and his new car.
I don't care if it's Tom
Mix and his wonder horse.
Nobody's leaving this house.
And if he wants to stay
here, he's gonna work.
Hello, Granny.
Oh, Mr. Cushing.
What a surprise.
Come in.
- Howdy, Mr. Cushing.
- Oh, hello, Mr. Clampett.
I'm sorry to drop in
unexpectedly like this,
but I happened to be
in the neighborhood,
and it was such a beautiful day,
I thought maybe Granny
would like to go for a drive.
Well, I'm afraid you
picked the wrong...
Can you wait for me to change?
Well, come on in the parlor
and sit down, Mr. Cushing.
I'll bust out some cool cider.
I hope that I'm not
interrupting anything.
Well, as a matter of fact you
are and we couldn't be happier.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Hope I didn't keep you waiting.
What are we stopping
here for, Mr. Cushing?
Thought we was going for a
nice long ride in the country.
We are, we are.
I just thought it would be friendly
to say hello to Mr. Drysdale.
That is friendly, seeing that your
bank is always scrapping with his'n.
- Yeah.
- Should I wait here?
No, no, no. You come along.
I wouldn't mind waiting in here.
I feel like a grand
lady sitting in this car.
Ah!
I wish you could've seen the
look on John Cushing's face
when I walked out of there
with that financing contract.
Yes. He'd been working
on the deal for six months
and I took it right
out from under him.
[LAUGHS]
Hello, Milburn.
Now, just a minute, John. Don't you
come in here and thr*aten me like that.
- Relax, Milburn.
- Everything I did was within the law.
It'll hold up in court.
And if you hit me,
I'll bleed all over you.
Milburn, I came in to
congratulate the winner.
You have b*at me again.
- You're not mad?
- Why, of course not.
Well, I'm glad to see you
taking it this way, buddy boy.
You've got to learn to
live with it, you know.
Oh, I've got the weight on you
with those Clampett millions.
Yes, I understand.
When you climb in the
ring with us big boys,
you've got to expect to take
one on the chops now and again.
Well, maybe someday I will
have an account like the Clampetts.
That's the spirit, Johnny baby.
Well, I'm busy now.
I'm glad you dropped by.
Keep that old chin up.
Thanks. I'll try.
Granny, hello. Come in.
Ain't got time. Johnny's taking
me for a ride in the country.
What?
Aren't you gonna wish
us a nice trip, Milburn?
Have a nice trip.
Keep the old chin
up, champ. [LAUGHS]
Here, chief. This
will revive you.
Oh, thank you.
I... I needed that.
Come and lie down.
That dirty,
account-stealing pirate.
I'm gonna report him to the banking
commissioner for unfair tactics.
Now, chief, there's nothing unfair about
Mr. Cushing having a date with Granny.
There certainly is.
He's single, and I've got a
wife, a millstone around my neck.
Hello, dear.
Millstone. Margaret.
Hello, dear.
Hold out your hand
and close your eyes
and Mommy will give
you a sweet surprise.
- Margaret...
- In fact, I've got two surprises.
Not now, dear. I've
got trouble, real trouble.
This is just the
thing to cheer you up.
Close its little winkies.
There. That's
the first surprise.
A picture of Daddy
for your desk.
Well, Milburn, have
you nothing to say?
What's the second surprise?
This will really set
your eyes to dancing.
Daddy is coming
out to visit with us.
Oh, my...
Now, don't let your
joy be too ecstatic.
There's one teensy dark cloud.
Daddy just phoned
me from Las Vegas.
It seems that he had
to change planes there
and in doing so he
misplaced his money.
Oh, here it is.
This is the number where you can
reach him and arrange to provide funds.
I think it's the Las Vegas
chapter of the Harvard Club.
Toodle-oo!
I wouldn't bail that little grifter out
of Las Vegas if he was my father.
- Chief...
- Misplaced his money.
- Placed it on the wrong number.
- Chief...
- Well, he can just stay there.
- Chief!
What? What?
Lowell Redlings Farquhar
is the answer to Mr. Cushing.
What are you talking about?
Don't you remember his last
visit, how captivated Granny was?
He did kind of charm her with
that Back Bay baloney, didn't he?
Completely.
If anyone can make Granny forget
Mr. Cushing, it's Daddy Farquhar.
And I suggest... Chief? Ch...
Don't stand there.
Help me put together the number
of the Las Vegas Harvard Club.
[CHEERING]
Oh, Daddy Farquhar,
that's your fifth straight pass.
Yes, yes, it is, isn't it?
Uh, uh, stack the
chips for me, will you?
- Mm. Well...
- Excuse me, Mr. Farquhar.
There's a Mr. Drysdale
calling you from Beverly Hills.
Oh, oh, oh. Thank you,
my dear. Thank you.
Keep these warm for me, hmm?
Hello? Farquhar here.
Oh, yes, Milburn.
What's the matter, son?
Me? Need money?
[CHUCKLES]
I... I don't know
where you heard that.
Margaret said you were
broke and stranded up there.
Hocked your Phi Beta Kappa key?
Yeah, that's right, and it
seems to have brought me
a remarkable piece of luck.
- Bet it all, my dear.
- Oh, Daddy Farquhar, every chip?
Every chip.
What's that, Milburn?
Oh, no, no, no. I can't
come to Los Angeles now.
In fact, I... might
stay here indefinitely.
Where are the dice?
All right, everybody, get
ready for pass number six.
Ha!
- CROUPIER: Snake eyes. You lose.
- [ALL GROAN]
Oh, Daddy Farquhar,
you crapped out.
Milburn, how soon do
you want me to be there?
I been waiting for you two.
Mr. Drysdale's been
a-calling and a-calling and a...
What in tarnation is that?
Oh, that's what you call a
gi-raffe. Johnny bought it for me.
I wanted Granny to have
something to remember this day by.
- Some neck.
- Yeah.
But all he done was
buy me a stuffed animal.
Mr. Clampett, Granny and I have a
little business matter to discuss with you
concerning Mr. Drysdale's bank.
Oh, yeah, that reminds me.
Mr. Drysdale's been calling.
He says he's got a
surprise for you, Granny.
I got one for him too.
I'm putting my money
in Mr. Cushing's bank.
With your approval, of course.
Well, Granny's free to do anything
she sees fit with her share of the money.
That's one fourth of everything
I got, whatever that comes to.
Fifteen million, seven hundred
and eighty-six thousand,
four hundred and twelve
dollars and twenty-two cents.
- Approximately.
- Well, no use splitting hairs.
Come on, Jed, let's go
down to Mr. Drysdale's bank
and unburden him of some money.
Mr. Farquhar and
staff are here, chief.
Hello, Milburn, my boy.
Daddy Farquhar, it's so
good to... Staff? What staff?
My financial advisers.
I have my investment
counselor and my tax expert.
Uh, come in, staff.
Girls, I want you to meet my
son-in-law, Milburn Drysdale.
Milburn, meet Lil and Jill.
- Hi.
- Hello there.
I can't remember which is which.
- I'm Lil.
- I'm Jill.
I'm ill.
Get them out of here.
- What shall I do with them?
- Who cares?
Girls, Miss Hathaway
here is my financial adviser.
Oh, excuse me, Daddy.
She's going to take you
down to the coffee shop
and discuss
today's bond picture.
- Oh, is there a new one out?
- I loved Goldfinger, didn't you?
Thunderball's my favorite.
Come along, staff.
- Bye, Daddy Farquhar.
- Bye, Lil... Jill.
How can you call those
girls financial advisers?
Well, they're not always right, but
with them even losing is a pleasure.
Sit down.
Now, listen to me, you
overaged delinquent.
My biggest account is
being romanced away
by a rival banker
named John Cushing.
I want you to step
in and cut him out.
I see.
And, believe me, I'll
make it worth your while.
Oh, now, Milburn,
did I mention money?
- No, you didn't.
- Well, I'll mention it now.
You're going to have
to lay it on me heavy.
OK, OK.
Now... Now, who is to be
the object of my attention?
Some wealthy movie star?
Liz Taylor? Sophia Loren?
She's a grandmother.
Oh, Marlene
Dietrich. Hedy Lamarr.
Granny Clampett.
Well, I don't remember
seeing any of her...
- Granny Clampett?
- Who called?
Lowell. Lowell Farquhar.
Daisy.
What brings you to town?
- You, Granny, you.
- Yes.
He's been talking of nothing
but you since he flew in.
Yes, yes.
Recalling those golden days you spent
together just a few short months ago.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- But it's been a year.
Why ain't you wrote?
Well, Milburn?
He's been trying to
forget you, Granny.
He even went to the desert,
hoping that the blazing sun
would burn from his heart
the bittersweet memories of those
moments of ecstasy spent with you,
the one great love of his life.
Yes, yes. Oh, Daisy.
Oh, Lowell, you rascal.
You sure know
what to say to a girl.
Well, Granny, we
got the papers all...
- Why, Mr. Farquhar.
- Hello, Mr. Clampett.
Where you been?
In the desert trying
to forget me, Jed.
Oh, excuse me, Mr. Cushing.
I don't believe you and
Mr. Farquhar has met.
Oh, that's right.
Lowell, this here man is...
You don't have to
tell me who he is.
I'd recognize him anywhere.
It's a great pleasure, sir.
I've always wanted to
meet Granny's father.
Uh... Huh?
Wonderful girl you've
got here, old timer.
Old timer? What
is he talking about?
He ain't my paw. He's
just a elderly friend.
Well... Milburn, you and I
have some business to transact.
Granny is putting
her money in my bank.
What? Now, wait a minute.
Daisy, I didn't think you'd
do this without my advice.
Well, you wasn't
here, Lowell, and I...
Well, we figured to take some
of the burden off of Mr. Drysdale.
Burden? Oh, no, handling
your money is a pleasure.
- Hi.
- May we come in?
In fact, I've just added
these two young ladies
to my staff of
financial advisers.
These girls are
financial advisers?
Yes. They're not always right, but
with them even losing is a pleasure.
Not too much wood,
Jethro. It's a courting fire.
It's for warming the
heart, not the hide.
Yes, sir.
Boy, Granny's really
flying, ain't she?
Well, there ain't many women her
age that's got two fellas romancing her.
GRANNY: You can say that again.
Well, doggies.
Granny, you look like you
stepped right out of the catalog.
- Your hair's different, Granny.
- Johnny likes it this way.
- Who?
- Mr. Cushing.
He'll be here any moment.
After he leaves, I'll
change it for Lowell.
He likes it down.
You mean you got 'em
coming one right after the other?
Jed, I've got to make
hay while the sun shines.
It's been cloudy a lot of years.
Granny, I drawed off a pitcher of
your courting cider, like you said.
Courting cider? Granny,
this ain't your hard stuff, is it?
Course not.
Well, it might have
a little edge to it.
Edge? This stuff'll strip paint.
Well, I don't wanna end up
with another stuffed animal.
[KNOCKING]
- That must be Mr. Cushing.
- Want me to go, Granny?
I want you all to go... that
way, and stay out of sight.
Elly, you take this courting cider
and put it back in the keg real gentle.
But, Paw, Granny
was counting on this
to help Mr. Cushing
to fall for her quicker.
Might help him fall quicker, but
he'll be a lot longer getting up.
Oh, come in, come in.
Well, thank you.
Oh, you have your hair up.
Does it pleasure you, Johnny?
Indeed it does, Daisy.
Especially since I
found this for you.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Oh, a comb for my hair.
Yes. It's very old.
Well, your hair
ain't exactly young.
Oh.
No, no, I meant
the comb is very old.
It once belonged to
a Spanish marquesa.
Well, it's purty for
being secondhand.
Milburn, Granny isn't
expecting me till four o'clock.
- And, besides, there's Lil and Jill...
- Forget Lil and Jill.
I had enough trouble
explaining them to Margaret.
Did you have to tell them to
take a sunbath in the backyard?
Well, they like to
keep up their tans,
and they're expecting
me to bring them some oil.
You save your oil for Granny.
Be right back, Johnny.
Keep looking for the cider.
But don't drink it
too close to the fire.
Dad-blamed family, always
underfoot except when you need 'em.
Just when I had Johnny all...
- Oh, Lowell.
- Hello, Daisy.
[GRANNY CHUCKLES]
I didn't expect you until four.
Well, I just couldn't stay away.
Oh, you ravishing creature.
Speak low when you speak love.
Oh, Daisy, you're
wearing your hair up.
And after you promised.
Oh, well, I only put it up so
you could watch me take it down.
Oh, how sweet.
There.
Now, how's that?
Oh, lovely, lovely.
Well, come on.
I remember the way
to the courting parlor.
- No, no!
- What's the matter?
It ain't there no more.
It's up there.
- Well, this is cozy.
- Ain't it nice?
Oh, is that for me, or
did you bring your lunch?
Oh, no, this is...
this is an orchid.
May I pin it on?
I thought you brought it for me.
I did.
Nearest the heart.
There we are. Don't
let me stick you.
- There we are.
- I gotta go see in the mirror.
No, no, no, no. You stay
right here... and think about me.
Hope I didn't keep
you waiting, Johnny.
Waiting for you is a pleasure.
Well, good.
Looks like you're in for a
right pleasurable afternoon.
Paw, you ain't never seen
anybody move as fast as Granny.
She's got Mr. Cushing in one room,
Mr. Farquhar in the other, and she...
- They's both here?
- Yes, sir.
And her shoes is just a-smoking
from running back and forth betwixt 'em.
Leave it to Granny to
fish two cricks at once.
I sure will be glad when I get
to be 77 and have me some fun.
Jed, where'd you hide the cider?
Granny, you know that stuff is
too strong for them city fellas.
It's for me.
Well, you do look
a mite drawed-out.
How you coming with
the double courtship?
Jed, I can't decide whether them fellas
is after me for my looks or my money.
Money come up, did it?
Right now courting talk is
running at a poor second.
It's hard enough to pick a
fella. I gotta pick a bank too.
Granny, I got a notion.
You go back to your beaus
and I'll have a talk with them two
financial advisers we met this morning.
Elly tells me they is over
in the Drysdales' backyard.
You reckon they can help?
I don't see why not. They's
experts at handling money.
See? Now, ain't this better than
laying over there on the grass
and getting all chigger bit?
It sure beats getting the third
degree from Daddy's darling daughter.
Hey, who are y'all anyhow?
- I'm Lil.
- I'm Jill.
Well, I'm Jethro.
What do y'all do?
We're financial advisers.
Hey, how about a job?
Why, I'm awful good at ciphering,
doing times's and gazintas and such.
- Do you know what he's talking about?
- No, but he's kind of cute.
Oh, there you are, girls.
Jethro, would you leave
us alone for a minute?
But, Uncle Jed, I'm
getting interviewed for a job
by these two financial advisers.
With them two for bosses
I'd work overtime every night.
- Come back later, boy.
- But, Uncle Jed, I'm getting...
Come back later, boy.
Girls, I need your help.
You see, I got
62 million dollars.
- 62 million?
- JED: Yes, ma'am.
Wow.
- But, Uncle Jed, I...
- BOTH: Come back later, boy.
[KNOCKING]
Be back in a minute, Johnny.
Be there in a jiffy, Lowell.
[KNOCKING]
If that's another fella, I'm
gonna give him to Elly May.
I can't even decide
betwixt two of 'em.
- Is my father here?
- Yes, he is.
And I wanna ask you something.
If I was to marry your paw
and you was my step-daughter,
would we visit every day, cook together,
sew together and be real close friends?
Absolutely not.
Shucks. He's
still in the running.
Daddy? Daddy, where are you?
- What's all the shouting about?
- Oh, Daddy Farquhar, are you all right?
- Well, of course I'm all right.
- What were you doing in that room?
Playing solitaire mostly, and
I've had a fabulous run of luck.
Same here. I won
five out of nine.
Excuse us a minute.
John, are you a man who likes
a little diversion now and then?
Oh, I'm starving for some,
and the sooner the better.
Then, as my financial
advisers would say, let's split.
[CHEERING]
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, Daddy Cushing.
- That's your fifth straight pass.
- Yes!
Well, John, what do you think
of my financial advisers, huh?
Lowell, with them even
losing would be a pleasure.
I don't wanna hear
no more bellyaching.
We're gonna wash this
place from ceiling to cellar.
And you... wipe that
smile off your face.
♪ Well, now it's time to say
goodbye to Jed and all his kin
♪ They would like to thank
you folks for kindly dropping in
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality
♪ To have a heaping
helping of their hospitality
♪ Hillbilly, that is
♪ Set a spell Take
your shoes off ♪
Y'all come back now, you hear?
ELLY: This has been a
Filmways presentation.