♪ Come and listen to my
story 'bout a man named Jed
♪ A poor mountaineer
barely kept his family fed
♪ And then one day he
was sh**ting at some food
♪ And up through the
ground come a-bubbling crude
♪ Oil, that is
♪ Black gold Texas tea
♪ Well, the first thing you
know old Jed's a millionaire
♪ The kinfolk said "Jed,
move away from there"
♪ Said "California's
the place you oughta be"
♪ So they loaded up the
truck and they moved to Beverly
♪ Hills, that is
♪ Swimming pools Movie stars ♪
The Beverly Hillbillies.
Dad-blamed Beverly Hills.
There ain't a possum shank to
be bought around here at any price.
What good is having 68 million
dollars, [SHOUTING] I ask you?
Well, this morning it's good
for getting a lot of papers
signed for Mr. Drysdale.
You was doing that when
I left here two hours ago.
I've signed 10 or 12 since then.
And you got all them to go yet?
I'm just glad I don't
have to read 'em.
The money's a
curse, Jed. It's a curse.
If you didn't have it, you wouldn't
be needing to do all of this,
we'd be living where
there was possums aplenty,
and the young 'uns wouldn't
be so spoiled that they would...
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
Jethro, where you calling from?
Try and guess.
No. No.
Uh-uh. Guess again.
Jethro, where you calling from?
What?
I'll be right there.
Come on, Granny.
Hello, operator? This
here's Jethro Bodine.
I just called to let you folks know
that I got a telephone in my truck now.
- I rigged it myself.
- He's put a phone in the truck?
Yeah, with an unlisted number.
Nonsense. Foolishness. He's got
too much time and money on his hands.
Bye, operator.
- How about this?
- What are you up to?
Uncle Jed, I figure it's about
time we start acting like rich folks.
Heck, every millionaire's
got a phone in his car.
Now, you stay right here. I'll
phone you from Wilshire Boulevard.
I tell you, Jed, that
boy is round the bend.
I don't know. Making a phone work
from a truck takes a heap of smarts.
He's connected to the house.
Yeah, I hope he's keeping
count of how much wire he's got.
Appears he's misfigured a mite.
Ah!
Now you see what comes
from having too much money.
Millionaires. Phones in the car.
His rope has slipped its pulley.
I will admit, things seemed a
mite simpler when we was poor.
Money is the stem of all evil.
Granny, it's the
root of all evil.
Now you're coming around.
Read that back, please.
"Dear sir, it gives me great pleasure
to inform you that the Clampett account
has now reached the amount of
68 million, 415 thousand dollars."
Signed, very truly
yours, etcetera, etcetera.
- Now, who shall I send it to?
- To me.
I love getting good
news in the mail.
Oh, pardon me. I'm
Virginia Jennings from UCLA.
I wondered if I might
see Mr. Drysdale.
- Well, he...
- Come in, come in.
My door is always
open to American youth.
Oh, this is Miss Hathaway.
How may I help you, my dear?
Well, I'm president of the
philosophy society at the university,
and we have voted to make
you an honorary member.
Well, this is a surprise,
eh, Miss Hathaway?
Yes. Congratulations, chief.
"Because of his generous
and humanitarian ways,
the Friends of Plato do hereby appoint
Milburn Drysdale an honorary follow."
Well, thank you.
You know, I've always been a
devotee of the great philosophers,
Rockefeller, Morgan,
Rothschild, Getty.
Yes. Well, now that you're
a member of the FOP,
I know you'll wanna
participate in our current project.
Certainly,
certainly. What is it?
We're trying to raise funds
to help a number of impoverished
students finish their education.
What a wonderful
idea. Who are they?
Well, I'm one. The other
two girls are waiting outside.
[LAUGHS] Say, that's
very clever of you.
- Then we count on your support?
- Of course. You have my blessing.
We were hoping for
something a little more tangible.
- Like money?
- Frankly, yes.
Say no more.
Here at the Commerce Bank, we're
always ready to help out needy students.
Help her out, Miss Hathaway.
But it would only be a
small loan for a few luxuries,
you know, food,
shelter, clothing...
Out. And tell your buddy Plato not
to come begging around here either.
You're just an
old softie, chief.
Boy, I hope she gets
a loan. I'm starving.
If only we were food economic majors.
We'd have some homework to eat.
Ginny! That happy, radiant look on
your face can only mean one thing.
You're right. I bombed out.
- What'll we do now?
- Well, there's one more chance.
I met this old kook of a
millionaire named Clampett once
when I was writing a term paper.
- He might help.
- Let's go.
Now, wait a minute.
Instead of the Friends of Plato,
we ought to give ourselves
a name that'll get sympathy.
Oh, well, how about Friends of
Oppressed Educationless Youth?
You got the right idea, but the initials
should spell out some catchy word.
- So?
- So that spells "foey".
Come on, we'll think of
something on the way.
I tell you, Jed, we was
better off before you struck oil.
What's it got us?
Nothing but trouble.
- But we gotta think of the young 'uns.
- I am.
Look at Jethro, acting like
he's got a head full of hominy.
And Elly May buying all them
skimpy things like that mini skirt.
Wouldn't even keep
her knees warm.
Yeah, but she's
learned a lot since then.
As a matter of fact, she's been
downtown shopping all morning.
Said every dress she
bought was extra practical.
Paw, Granny.
- How do you like my new dress?
- That's a practical dress?
- So she says.
- Practical for what? Catching cold?
It's mighty pretty, but is
that what you call practical?
Why, sure. It's
made out of paper.
- Paper?
- Yes'm.
It gets dirty, you just wad
it up and throw it away.
Paper dresses. Well,
you can strike me deaf.
- Now I've heard everything.
- And it only cost 25 dollars.
For a paper dress?
Why, for 25 cents any
newsboy would have sold her
enough goods for
a whole wardrobe.
Maybe my millions
is going to her head.
She's just the beginning.
If you get any richer, we'll all end
up wearing cardboard underwear.
This is the place. Park your
bikes over there and wait for me.
I hope that new name you
thought of gets us some money.
It's gotta do better than
the Friends of Plato.
Who'd give money to
an outfit called FOP?
- Good luck.
- Don't worry.
I'll tell Mr. Clampett he's saving
a potential college drop-over.
- You mean dropout.
- No, I mean drop-over.
If I don't eat
pretty quick, I will.
And when was the last
time you got to go fishing?
Well...
Afore you got the money.
And when was the last time
you got to harvest a crop?
- Well...
- Afore you got the money.
I say it's been
nothing but a curse.
Granny, you're probably right,
but what are we gonna do?
As long as we're stuck with
it, we just gotta suffer along.
[KNOCKING]
- Oh, howdy, young lady. Come in.
- Thank you, Mr. Clampett.
Hello, Granny.
Well, if it ain't little Ginny
Jennings from up to the college.
Sure enough. What
can we do for you?
Well, Mr. Clampett, I'm
here representing NEEDY.
- NEEDY?
- Yes.
The National Establishment
for Educating Deserving Youth.
That sounds like a worthy cause.
Oh, it is, Mr. Clampett,
and, well, to be honest,
NEEDY needs money, a lot of it.
- A lot of it?
- Yes, sir.
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
That sounds like an outfit could
use 68 million, 415 thousand dollars.
Young lady, step in the kitchen.
I'm gonna write you a check.
Thank you again, Mr. Clampett.
With this check you have
unlocked the economic shackles
on that great door of learning
beyond which lies the sum
total of human knowledge.
Well, you're sure welcome to it.
- Bye.
- Bye, honey.
Goodbye, patrons of knowledge,
generous benefactors
of scholarly endeavor.
- Farewell, good friends of...
- Ginny, did you get it or didn't you?
Yes. Such wonderful
people, you know.
So kind and warm and
really interested in young...
- How much?
- Oh, I don't know.
- I haven't looked at the check yet.
- Well, is it enough to buy a hamburger?
I'm sure it's more
than enough. Yeah.
68 million, 415
thousand dollars.
Oh, great. Let's eat.
- Sixty?
- Eight?
Million?
- Yee-ha!
- [LAUGHS]
Oh! Oh, Jed. Oh, Jed.
We is plumb broke and I've never
been so happy in my whole life.
I feel just like I been
took out of harness myself.
I hope they don't
spend it all in one place.
I reckon an outfit
like that NEEDY
has got plenty of folks
that can use the money.
Well, let's go tell
the young 'uns.
Then I'm gonna get
out my sewing things
and commence to make Elly
some clothes like I used to.
Make sure you use a
good grade of paper.
Oh, go on.
[LAUGHS]
I don't have to take no joshing
from an ex-millionaire that
ain't got a penny to his name.
You know, I'm feeling
better every minute.
Fact is, I think I'll just
walk right down to the bank
and give Mr. Drysdale
back his papers.
There's another person that won't
have to worry about your money no more.
Yep. He'll be able to breathe
a whole lot easier now.
No, I just can't cash
it, not this much money.
Why not? Mr. Clampett's probably
got ten times that. Who's gonna miss it?
That's not the point. What are
we gonna do with 68 million?
- We can get something to eat.
- Yeah.
A bowl of chili,
some onion rings,
a grilled cheese with a chocolate shake
and French fries and apple pie and...
What do we do with the change?
Leave a 68 million dollar tip?
We don't have to
spend it all on ourselves.
We can help other kids
get through the university.
- Yeah, we can buy books, supplies.
- We could buy the university.
Well, I suppose we could do
a lot of good with this money.
- Please!
- All right, I'll think about it.
Thank you, Mr. Drysdale.
Come on, kids.
It's true, chief. I telephoned Granny,
and Mr. Clampett signed the check.
She's positively
elated about it.
Oh!
I've got to stop eating herring
in sour cream before bed.
It's given me the worst
nightmare I've ever had.
Well, it's just like...
like I'm awake.
- You are awake, chief.
- Mind your own business!
Chief, you might as well face
it. The Clampett account is gone!
Now, don't panic. This is
business. These things happen.
You win a few, you lose a few.
Well, chief, I'm really impressed
with the way you're taking this.
What are you writing?
- A su1c1de note.
- Oh, chief.
Oh, now, now, now.
Get a hold of yourself.
There's nothing
we can do about it.
Oh, yes, there is.
- We can fight.
- What?
I've let Mr. Clampett get away too
long with these crazy money ideas of his,
and I'm calling a halt.
I am going to tell him if he
persists with this insane idea,
it's going to rub hard
on him, real hard.
I'll say to him, "Mr. Clampett, if
you give away all your money,
you're going to have to move
out of that mansion immediately."
- Chief...
- No, no. I'm through fooling around.
And I'll say, "Mr. Clampett, if
you're broke, you're real broke."
"That means no money for food,
no gasoline for the truck, nothing."
Chief, Mr. Clampett is...
I don't care who he is!
I'm going to get tough!
Mr. Drysdale, you
don't have to get tough.
We full expect to give the
house back. It's only fair.
And don't worry about
us spending no money.
We know we're broke
and we're glad of it.
- Isn't there anything I can do?
- There sure is.
You can start relaxing,
and it shouldn't take long now that
you ain't got the money to worry about.
- Mr. Clampett...
- Ah, this ain't goodbye.
We'll be in touch.
And, Miss Jane, see can
you get him to do a little fishing.
Chief, you're crying again.
Come on, Jed, let's get going.
I'm almost done, Granny,
but we wanna be sure and leave
the place looking like we found it.
Uncle Jed, have a heart.
What's a sophisticated,
educated playboy like me gonna do
around all them hog
wrasslers back home?
- Oh, I reckon you'll get by.
- But, Uncle Jed, I belong here.
Beverly Hills folks
is my kind of people.
- You're welcome to stay if you wanna.
- Well, I can't without money.
I've done gone and got used
to a high standard of living.
Well, then, you're between
a rock and a hard place,
'cause I ain't got no
money to give you.
Granny, we've been living here
for five years and now we's leaving.
Ain't you sad?
Yeah, sad it took so
dad-blamed long to pack.
All right, boy, drive on.
Chief!
It's no use, Miss Hathaway. I'm going
to that big safety deposit box in the sky.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
What else is left to live for?
All the good things in life are
gone, all 68 million of them.
Chief, you're
acting like a child.
Now, why don't you approach this
Clampett problem constructively and...
It's too late. Don't try
to change my mind.
Just pull the desk
out from under me.
Chief, I couldn't.
If you feel that strongly
about losing me...
No, it's not that. It's just that this
desk is too heavy for me to pull.
Miss Hathaway.
If you'd like to get
onto this chair...
- That's enough!
- Well, be reasonable.
Why don't you forget about
losing the Clampett account
and start trying to get
the Jennings account?
- The what account?
- The Friends of Plato.
They have the money now.
Yes. Say, that's right.
I know. I'll try to get
the Jennings account.
[LAUGHS]
Miss Hathaway, I
just saved the day.
GRANNY: Jethro,
can't you go no faster?
I wanna get back to them piney
woods whilst I can still climb a tree.
ELLY: Yeah, let's go.
Uncle Jed, are you gonna give
'em the big news or should I?
What do you mean?
We ain't gonna make it
to them woods back home.
The gas we got, we'll be doing
good if we get outside the city limits.
- How far can we go?
- Beats me.
We's running on
wishful thinking right now.
You better find the first big,
thick green woods you can.
[CLUNKING]
The first place you see more
than two trees together, pull over.
Ranger Warkle here.
Warkle.
W-A-R-K-L-E.
Right.
A truck about to
dump some trash?
At the east boundary?
But there's not even a
road on that side of the park.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
Well, this is as far as we're going,
Uncle Jed. The t*nk's dryer than dust.
Well, leastways we made
it into some tollable woods.
- How's Granny doing back there, Elly?
- She's still asleep, Paw.
Has been since before
we turned off the road.
How'd she manage to sleep
through all this bumping?
She's plumb tuckered out.
She loaded up the truck
single-handed in 20 minutes flat.
Oh, I must have dozed off.
Oh! We're back in our woods.
And so soon.
My, look how purty
everything looks here at home.
Nothing's changed a bit.
I feel like a new person
now that I'm here.
- Granny...
- Oh, I've gotta kiss the ground.
The hallowed soil
of my homeland.
Oh, I've waited
so long for this.
Granny, I think
I'd hold off on that.
- How come?
- Well, we ain't exactly home.
Where is we?
Strictly speaking, we're
still in Los Angeles.
Los Angeles?
Pooey!
You dumb cluck. You been
driving around in circles.
Granny, we come as far as
we could with the gas we had.
- You mean we's stuck here?
- For a little while.
But leastways we got
good dirt under our feet,
we got trees,
bushes, sky to look at.
The birds and breeze
to listen to and...
How about it, Granny?
Los Angeles, poo!
All right, here we are.
Miss Jennings, your new home,
compliments of the Commerce Bank.
- But this is the Clampett mansion.
- Ah, but not anymore.
It's yours for as
long as you want it.
And... in those boxes you'll find a few
more surprises from the Commerce Bank.
Chief, you can't afford to
give her the car and all of this.
You've got to spend a
dollar to make a dollar.
Besides, I'm keeping
the trading stamps.
Really, Mr. Drysdale,
I just don't feel right about
your giving us all these things.
Oh, nonsense. It's just
what I felt in my heart.
And there's absolutely
no strings attached.
Of course, when it comes
time to depositing the check,
I hope you'll keep in mind
that other banks would give you
a calendar or a lousy
blotter or something.
Well, goodbye.
Look, Ginny. This coat
still has the tag on it.
45 hundred clams.
And this dress must
be a Paris original.
Look, put it all back.
I'm not gonna take any of it,
or this mansion, or that car.
What?
Mr. Drysdale is only doing it so
I'll deposit this check in his bank,
and I just can't cash it.
All right, but we could at least
try some of these things on.
Well... I suppose we
could do that much.
Yeah.
You know, Jed, staying on here till
we get enough money to go home on
might not be so bad after all.
Yeah, leastways we's in the
woods, away from all them buildings.
I been studying on it.
I bet you the owner of these woods
would let us sharecrop 'em if we asked him.
That way we could trade
off the harvest for gas.
He'd probably be tickled
pink just to get his land cleared.
Uncle Jed, I gotta talk to you.
I've been out for a
long tramp in the woods
and there's
something I found out.
- What?
- I got to head back to the city.
I gone and got too sophisticated
to live out here like a wild animal.
- You have?
- Why, heck, yeah.
When you've took on as much
class and savoire faire as me,
you can't just up and chuck
it like a pair of dirty overalls.
Well, it's your life, boy. How
you figure on making a living?
Well, I'm gonna have me a
talk with that there NEEDY outfit.
Having all your money,
they could support me in the manner
to which I've become accustomed.
Well, before you
make up your mind,
why don't you listen to what
we're planning to do out here?
OK, sh**t.
Well, we're gonna look
up the owner of this land
and see can we
clear it for a little farm.
But that'd take a good six
weeks of wood chopping.
Yeah, and it'll feel good to get back
doing some hard work for a change.
Well, I'm sorry, Uncle Jed,
but it'd be too risky for me to
do that kind of unskilled labor.
What d'you mean?
Well, I been planning on being
a brain surgeon, or a soda jerk.
For either one I got
to protect these hands.
Well, good luck, boy.
Be sure and say bye to your
Granny and Elly May before you leave.
- And let us hear from you.
- Yes, sir. Bye, Uncle Jed.
Oh, howdy. Jed
Clampett's my name.
I'm Ranger Warkle.
Well, pleased to meet
you, Ranger... Who?
Warkle. W-A-R-K-L-E.
Yeah, Warkle. Sounds a
little like a bird call, don't it?
What are you doing with this a*?
Oh, you got something
to do with this land?
Well, you could say that, yes.
Well, you're gonna
be happy to hear this.
We're planning on
chopping down all these trees
and plowing and
planting a little corn.
Oh, and I suppose you
wanna build a little red barn
and put up a nice fence too.
Not unless we
get some livestock.
- You trying to get my goat?
- No, we don't need a goat.
Well, what do you say?
Can we commence clearing?
Listen, you old coot, can't you figure
out why these trees are standing here?
No, but if you don't
watch your tongue,
you're gonna have to find
somebody else to chop 'em down.
Howdy. Who are you?
Who are you?
I'm Jethro Bodine.
I used to live here.
Oh. Mr. Drysdale
said we could...
Hey, I bet you you're the folks from
NEEDY. Is Ginny Jennings here?
- Jethro?
- Ginny?
Ginny Jennings?
- Is that you?
- Well, yes, Jethro.
But what are you doing here? I
thought you and your family had moved.
We did, but I just ain't cut
out for that poor dirt farmer bit.
It might be all right for them others,
but I'm too much of a swinger now.
I need about a million
or two from NEEDY.
You need money? But
your Uncle Jed's a millionaire.
Not no more. He
give it all to you.
- All of it?
- He's flatter than a run-over hat.
Paw, whose car is that?
I don't know.
Well, I'll go see if
there's anybody out back.
I hope I can get that jar of crow
gizzards that I left in the pantry.
If we can't trade 'em for gas,
I don't know what we'll do.
Don't worry, Granny.
Can't get over that Warkle
fella running us off that land.
Well, that was my fault, Granny.
He probably took it personal when I
said his name sounded like a bird call.
Well, we've gotta
go find them...
Oh, Mr. Clampett. We were
just leaving to look for you.
- You've gotta take this check back.
- I do?
If we kept this money, we'd be
miserable for the rest of our lives.
It just isn't fair.
Come on, girls. We've
gotta take this stuff back now.
She's right, Granny.
It ain't fair to make them young
'uns suffer with all our millions.
Yeah. Did you notice
how they were dressed?
The money was starting
to ruin 'em already.
Mr. Clampett, what are
you doing back here?
Where are the girls going?
I'm afraid we got some bad
news for you, Mr. Drysdale.
We're leaving my money in
your bank. We ain't giving it away.
Do you see it, Miss Hathaway?
They're giving it back to me.
Oh, Miss Hathaway.
Well, it was nice being
broke while it lasted.
Yeah, but the money is our problem.
It's up to us to bear the burden of it.
Us and Mr. Drysdale.
Look at him crying. He's
as miserable as we are.
Yeah. Too bad.
It's a curse, Jed. It's a curse.
♪ Well, now it's time to say
goodbye to Jed and all his kin
♪ They would like to thank
you folks for kindly dropping in
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality
♪ To have a heaping
helping of their hospitality
♪ Hillbilly, that is
♪ Set a spell Take
your shoes off ♪
Y'all come back now, you hear?
ELLY: This has been a
Filmways presentation.