02x29 - The Camping Trip

[bunniefuu]

It's your lead, Lucy.

-I know it.
-Play it while you're still young.

You leave her alone.

This is important.

Oh, how did you know to lead hearts?

Ah, just a good guess!

That's mine, that's mine!

Down two, double and redouble.

That'll take a lot of figuring.

Oh, say, have you heard about Joanne?

No, what about her?

They're getting a separation.

Joanne and Greg?

Oh, honestly!
Is that true?

You're kidding, Caroline!

They decided they no longer had
anything in common.

He claimed she was so wrapped up in
the children,

she didn't care about him.

If that's true, then it's her fault.

She claimed he came home and buried
himself in the paper

and didn't want her to have any part
of his life.

If that's true, then it's his fault.

Aw, listen, it's both their fault,
and it's nobody's fault.

It happens to every couple.

There's nothing you can do about it.

Why, Ethel Mertz, I'm ashamed to hear
you talk like that.

That could never happen to Ricky and
me.

Why, we just have everything in
common.

Oh, come now, Lucy, every marriage
reaches a point

where the honeymoon's over.

Yeah, our honeymoon was over on our
honeymoon.

I think you're all just terrible.

Ricky and I never get bored with each
other.

He's interested in everything that I
do

and I'm interested in everything that
he does.

and the honeymoon isn't over at all!

Well, it isn't!

Oh, come on, let's play cards.

Oh, hi, dear.

Oh, hi, honey.

Uh... I had a pretty interesting day
today.

Don't you want to hear about it?

Uh-huh.

Well, I took little Ricky to the park
this morning,

and then this afternoon,

Ethel and I had a bridge game and we
won.

We won cents.

That's twelve and a half cents
apiece.

That's wonderful, dear.

What's that for?

Ricky Ricardo, you put down that
paper.

We're going to talk.

Talk?

Yes-- I say something, you say
something,

then I say something, then you say
something and so on.

Well, I am aware of the way it goes,
but why?

Because we're married, and I don't
want you to come home

and bury yourself in the paper like I
didn't exist.

Oh, well, honey, that's a very good
reason.

Okay.

Let's talk.

Well, that's better.

Uh...

How did rehearsal go today, dear?

Fine.

You told me that much before.

Well, that's all.

It went fine.

You know, nothing went wrong.

Everything was just... fine.

Oh...

What kind of a day did you have?

Oh, fi... real good.

Uh, this morning I took little Ricky
to the park

and this afternoon Ethel and I had a
bridge game and we won.

cents.

Oh, I told you that much before, too,
didn't I?

Yeah.

Uh...

You start this time.

Okay.
Um...

What will we talk about?

Anything-- anything you're interested
in,

I'm interested in.

Okay.

Just pick a topic.

Um...

What do you think of the new tax law?

Pick another topic.

Well, aren't you interested in
anything else, dear?

Right now I'm interested

in reading my paper.

Oh, well, go ahead.

We'll both read it.

Okay.

There you are.

Thank you.

Why did you give me the society page?

I want the sports page.

The sports page?

Sure! What do you think I am, a
square?

I want to read the sports page.

Well, I'll read it to you.

Oh... all right.

Who won the fight last night?

The fights...

Now, let's see.

Uh...

fight, fight, oh, here it is.

"Williams bags crown by Tko in
eighth."

"Tko"?

Yeah, Tko, t-k-o.

How else would you pronounce it?

That's how you pronounce it-- t-k-o.

It means technical knockout.

Oh, of course, sure, sure.

Well, how long has this been going
on?

What?

They're racing little girls at
Churchill Downs!

What?

It says so right here-- see?

"First race won by three-year-old
maiden."

Well, I wouldn't worry about that
little girl if I were you.

She's as strong as a horse.

Well, she certainly was carrying a
lot of money

for a little girl.

She had $ , in her purse.

Thank you, Grantland Rice.

What?

Grantland Rice.

You surely heard of Grantland Rice?

Oh, sure, I've heard of it,

but I've never tasted it.

Yeah.

Gee, isn't it fun reading the sports
page together?

It's very enlightening.

I've been reading the sport pages for
years,

I never found any of that stuff in
there before.

Well, you learn something every day.

Maybe you can move over there

and we can read it at the same time.

Oh, sure.

I'd like that.

Sure.

Okay.

Isn't this fun, dear?

Mm-hmm.

We have a lot in common, don't we?

Mmm.

Oh, Ricky, it's so wonderful having
you around this morning.

Didn't you like it?

I sure did, honey.

Oh, I sure did.

I wish you could do it more often.

Uh... will you let go of my arm long
enough

to put my coat on?

Oh, sure.

Let me help you.

Thank you.

Remember now, honey

if anything interesting happens to
you down at the club,

be sure to tell me because I'm
interested

in anything interesting that happens
to you.

All right, honey, sure.

Hi, Rick.

Oh, hiya, Fred.

I'm glad I caught you.

What's up?

I just heard from my brother

and he's got everything all set

for our camping trip.

How's the last week in July for you?

Oh, that sounds just great.

Great. He's got the guide and the
pack train all set

and he says the streams are so full
of trout

that they jump in your pocket.

Oh, boy!

Oh, boy!

I'll write and tell him okay, huh?

Oh, sure.

We wouldn't miss it for the world.

Honey...

Oh, the baby.

Honey, I'll be right back.

Uh... the camping trip is going to be

just wonderful, Fred.

What camping trip?

Oh, now, come on, Fred.

No, no, no.

If Lucy's going, Ethel will want to
go,

and I could be miserable at home.

Look, Fred, I'll talk her out of it.

it's just that she's in a funny kind
of mood.

She wants to do everything that I do.

I don't know what's the matter with
her.

Yeah, Ethel told me about that.

Well, tell me, would you-- what's
cooking?

Well, Lucy's been trying to prove

to the gals in the bridge club

that you two are not bored with each
other

like other couples who've been
married

as long as you have.

Oh, that's it, huh?

Well, that explains the whole deal.

She's been sticking to me every
minute.

It's like having a piece of gum stuck
to your shoe,

you know?

Well, you better try and scrape her
off

before it's time to go on the camping
trip.

Don't worry, Fred, I'll talk her out
of it.

I'll think of something.

Well, I hope so.

Well, let's see, there must be some
way to do this.

Hey...

suppose I take her on a preview
camping trip.

I don't quite get you.

Well, I could play up all the
discomforts of camping--

make her work her head off-- you
know, really rough it.

By the time I'm through, she won't
want to go

on another camping trip again.

You've really got something there.

Oh, gee, fellas, that camping just
sounds wonderful--

that camping trip.

I'll do all the cooking for us.

Listen, honey, just to get you an
idea

of what it's going to be like next
summer,

I thought that maybe you and I should
go

on a camping trip next weekend as a
rehearsal.

Just the two of us, Ricky?

Ethel and I can take care of the
baby.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, honey, that's wonderful!

I'd just love it.

Oh, honey!

Lucy?

I'll be right there!

Well, do I look like I stepped out of
Field and Stream?

You look more like you fell in.

Well!

Never mind that.

I've got news for you.

What?

Do you know why Ricky's taking you on
this little trip?

I certainly do.

Because we do everything together

and because he can't stand being away
from me.

Oh, no.

What do you mean, "Oh, no"?

He doesn't want you to go this
summer,

so he's going to take you on this
little trip

and make things so tough for you

that you'll never want to go camping
again

as long as you live.

I don't believe that!

I can't help it.

I heard him talking

when he came down to borrow Fred's
sleeping bag.

He says he's sick and tired of you
and him

being the Bobbsey twins.

The Bobbsey...

Well, that big...

How do you like that.

Lucy, when you tell Ricky you're not
going with him,

don't mention that I...

What do you mean, I'm not going?

Well, are you?

I certainly am.

I'm going to b*at him at his own
little game.

What do you mean?

Well, of course, I'll need the help

of a very loyal friend, one who will
tell Fred

that she's visiting her mother,

but who in reality will be staying

at a lodge nearby.

Oh, no, I won't!

Now, Ethel!

I'm not going to do it!

You haven't even heard my idea!

You thought it up-- that's enough for
me!

What kind of a friend are you?

Every time you get an idea,

I get dragged in on it somehow.

Just answer me that--

what kind of a friend are you?

I always end up...

I think it's right around here
someplace.

Yeah, that's the spot right down
there.

That's where the good fishing is.

My feet hurt.

Well, honey, I'm sorry, but you've
got to hike for miles

before you get to the good fishing
spot.

Your feet will feel better

when you're standing in the water.

Standing in the water?

You got to walk right out into the
stream.

How are we going to catch these
fish--

by stepping on them?

Don't mind that--

that's the way that you fish for
trout.

Oh.

So you got to go right into the
stream

and stand in the water there,

and you stand there for hours and
hours.

Water is cold-- freezing.

Maybe you want to call the whole
thing off.

It's too much for you?

No, no...

Too much for me? Pooh!

What's a little cold water?

Listen, Ricky, do you think

this measly little basket is big
enough

for all the fish I'm going to catch?

Oh, well, I wouldn't worry about that
if I were you.

No?

No, usually the first time that you
come out,

you don't catch anything, except
maybe a cold

or a mosquito bite, or frostbitten
feet.

Oh.

Well, come on, let's go.

Listen, Ricky, let's not fish
together.

Let's, uh, separate

and see who catches the most.

Well, don't be silly, now, come on.

No, no, really, you know how fish
are.

No, how are they?

Well, they're shy.

If there's too many people around,

the fish just won't stay-- they go.

Okay, we'll go downstreams a way

and then we'll separate.

Well, I think I'll go upstreams a
way.

Look, I've been here a hundred times

and there's no good spot up there.

There's no fish up there.

Oh, I don't know.

It looks pretty fishy up there to me.

Okay, have it your own way.

I'll meet you back here in one hour.

Okay.

All right.

Watch out for bears!

Bears!

Ethel?

Ethel?

Oh!

I thought you were a bear.

Huh?

Did you get the fish?

One dozen of the best trout

that they had at the fish market.

Good.

No, don't give them to me.

Throw them to me.

Throw them to you?

I want to be able to tell Ricky I
caught them.

Oh.

Okay.

Ooh!

Oh, they're beauties.

How'd you get here?

I trailed you like an Indian.

That was some walk, wasn't it?

Not for me.

I borrowed a station wagon from the
lodge.

I've trailed you all the way from
your campsite.

It's parked back down the road.

Hey, that gives me an idea.

What?

Go back in the car and wait for me.

What are you going to do?

I'll tell you later.

Just go in the car and wait for me on
the road.

Don't let anybody see you.

Okay.

Say "Ah."

Lucy?

Oh, there you are.

I don't blame you for quitting.

The fish are really not biting today.

Oh, haven't you caught any yet?

And how many did you caught?

Well, I didn't have very much luck.

That's what I thought.

Only these.

You catch all those?

Yes, sir.

I certainly did.

What did you use for bait?

Bait?

Yeah, didn't you put anything on the
hook?

No, no.

I just threw the hook in

and then when all the fish jumped on,

I just pulled them out.

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-ay-ay.

Well, we better get back to camp.

How do you feel?

Tired, huh?

Well, yeah, those fish put up quite a
fight.

Well, I'm sorry, but we're going to
have to keep

a pretty good brisk pace back to
camp,

or we'll never make it back there by
night.

Well, don't worry, I'll keep up with
you.

I hope you're able to.

Able to? I'll tell you what I'll do--

I'll race you back to camp.

Race me back to camp?

Yeah.

You've been standing out in the heat
too long.

Well, nevertheless I'll race you

and I'll bet you five dollars

that I'll b*at you back.

Are you game?

Okay, I'll just take you up on that.

And because you're a woman,

I'll give you a head start.

Well, because I'm a woman,

I'll take it.

Hey, you keep up that pace, you won't
last a mile.

Slow down!

Isn't this a beautiful night?

Yeah.

What time is it?

Eight o'clock.

Three hours, what do you think is
keeping Ricky?

Give him time.

He didn't have me waiting in a
station wagon

to bring him back like you did.

Here he comes!
Hurry up!

Be sure and meet me right here

in the morning.

Don't forget!

Keep out of sight!

What took you so long, dear?

Great day for a hike, wasn't it?

Nothing like a hike

to tone up those old muscles, eh?

Ricky, say something.

Water!

Of course, dear.

Oh, I'm sorry, dear.

I must have used it all up.

You see, I got back so early,

I had time to wash my hair.

Look, honey, if you're so tired

you'd better go to bed, huh.

-Yeah.
-Come on.

That a boy.

Remember, you promised to take me
hunting

at : in the morning.

Oh, no.

Okay, I'm all ready to go hunting.

All right.

I'll get the g*ns.

Okay.

Ethel?

Ethel?

Ethel?

Here I am.

Where?

Here.

Where?

Here.

Where?

Up here.

How did you get up there?

It wasn't easy.

Where have you got the horseshoe
nailed up?

Over there on that tree.

Where?

Over there.

Way over there?

I can hardly see it.

Don't worry, you'll hit it every
time.

Let's hear how it's going to sound.

Shh!

That's fine.

Remember now, I'm depending on you.

Yeah.

How about the ducks?

Everything's under control.

Okay.

Are you sure you want to go hunting?

Sure, I want to go.

Which g*n is mine, that one?

Yeah. You know how to use one of
these things?

Do I know how to use one of these
things.

You see that horseshoe over there?

Where?

Right over there.

Way over there?

Don't tell me you're going to hit
that.

Watch this.

The trigger is the one behind there.

Oh... oh, it's that kind of a g*n,
huh?

Yeah.

I don't believe it.

Now, with my eyes closed.

Over my shoulder.

Aha, you missed that time.

Well, anybody could miss...

One of my slow ones.

What's going on around here?

Now, Ricky, look,

That's enough target practice.

What's say we start hunting, huh?

I bet I get more ducks than you do.

Ducks?

Yeah, you know, birds flying over.

Well, there isn't one duck

within miles of here.

Oh, I don't know.

These look like pretty good duck
trees to me.

This might come as a surprise to you,
Lucy,

but you find ducks on the water,

not up in the trees.

Well, I'm sure I saw...

Oh, there they are!

There they are!

Watch it, watch it!

Watch it, watch it!

You know, that's pretty good
sh**ting.

Not only did you k*ll the duck,

but you knocked his feathers off

and you cleaned it, too.

Yeah, well, that's enough duck
hunting.

Let's do something else.

Now, wait a minute.

I think you're right.

I think there's a lot of ducks here.

No, no.

Oh, I think so.

I don't think there's any.

Look, there's a nice big fat one

right over there.

Don't sh**t, Ricky, it's me!

Ethel, you get out of that tree!

Okay.

What are you doing up in there?

I was just looking at the view.

Never mind that, get out of there!

Oh...

You come here!

Ethel, what's the matter with you,

getting ducks that are all cleaned
and plucked?

I didn't unwrap the package

till I got up in the tree

and then it was too late.

Oh!

So Ethel has been here all the time,
huh?

Well, that explains a lot of things.

Does it explain why you brought me up
here

just to make me hate camping?

That has nothing...

Oh, you knew about that?

Yeah, I knew about that.

Oh.

Well, I guess this makes us even,
huh?

Oh, all right, Ricky.

I'm sorry.

You know, I really don't want

to share everything with you.

You dun't?

No, I "dun't."

Just certain things.

Like this.