04x14 - First Stop

[bunniefuu]

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

Gee, this is interesting country.

I didn't know there were so many
farms in Ohio.

Oh, sure.

Are you sure this is Ohio?

Well, it'd better be.

We just left Pennsylvania

and we're headed for Indiana.

" Miles To Aunt Sally's Pecan
Pralines."

Well, we're closing in on her!

The first sign we saw said,

" Miles To Aunt Sally's Pecan
Pralines."

I'm surprised she has time

to make pralines;

she's so busy making signs.

(guffawing)

You know, I've been thinking

about those pralines for so many
miles,

I just got to have some.

How about something to eat? I'm
hungry.

Oh, we've got to get more mileage
today, Fred.

"Got to get more mileage today,
Fred!"

Mileage.

Honey, we're all hungry.

Well, there'll be plenty of good
places to eat up ahead.

" miles To Aunt Sally's Pecan
Pralines."

Is there anything left

in that lunch basket, Ethel?

A stale sandwich and a grape.

Let me have the grape.

Honey, when are you gonna stop and
get something to eat?

We're hungry.

I'll stop at the next decent town we
come to.

Oh, you've been saying that for the
last hour.

Yeah.

I don't think I'll make it.

Me, either.

Hey, we still got that stale
sandwich!

Don't bother looking in the cupboard,
Mother Hubbard.

It's bare.

Fred, when did you eat that sandwich?

it's not safe to shut your eyes
around here.

Wait a minute.

"One Mile To Aunt Sally's Pecan
Pralines."

That's where we're gonna have dinner!

Oh, I can't make a meal out of pecan
pralines.

Well, we can at least buy a bag to
munch on

until Mr. Mileage here decides to
stop for dinner.

Well, that's a thought.

Anyway, we just got to drop in on
Aunt Sally.

I feel like she's an old friend.

" Yards To Aunt Sally's"!

" Yards!"

" yards!"

"Just Around The Bend!"

"You Have Just Passed Aunt Sally's."

Passed!

Where was it?

I didn't see a thing!

Stop the car, Ricky, back up!

Okay.

Must be that shed over there.

There's a sign on the door,

but I can't see it from here.

Drive on.

What did the sign say?

Out of business.

I knew Aunt Sally was spending

too much money on those signs.

Hey, I think I see some lights.

Oh, I hope it's a cafe!

It is!

I hope it's a nice one.

Well, we're gonna stop there no
matter what it's like.

Really, Ricky?

That a boy!
Yeah.

I'm hungry, too.

Boy, this place doesn't look any too
hot, does it?

Well, we're here now, so let's give
it a try, huh?

Oh, yeah, food, food.

Oh, at least they've got

a great big selection of food.

Yeah.

Hey, I know what I want.

One of those steak sandwiches

with some French fries and coleslaw.

Oh, a steak sandwich!

Hiya, folks!

Welcome to One Oak.

Welcome to One Oak.

Cabins and Cafe.

Yes, sir.

George Skinner at your service.

How do you do, Mr. Skinner?

Hello. How do you do?

What'll it be?

Well, I'll have the steak sandwich,
rare,

with the French fries.

Uh, steak sandwich.
I'll have that, too.

I'll have the same.

Me, too.

We're all out of steak sandwiches.

Oh, you are?

Gee, I had my mouth all set for one.

Yeah.

Well... well, I think I'll have

the roast beef, rare,

with a baked potato, then.

Roast beef, that's for me.

I'll vote for that.

Make it four.

We're out of roast beef, too.

Let me see here.

Hey, that fried chicken

with biscuits sounds good.

Any point in running that chicken
around the table?

All out.

Well, look, we're going at this thing
all wrong.

Why don't you just tell us what you
have

and then we'll order.

All righty. How about the specialty
of the house?

What's that?

A cheese sandwich.

A cheese sandwich?

Is that all you've got?

I don't feel like a cheese sandwich.

Well, now, come on, folks, I can't
wait all night.

What would you like?

The name of the nearest good
restaurant.

Lucy, please.
Well...

Well, in fact, there is a place ten
miles up the highway

called "The Golden Drumstick."

The sign says, "Turkey dinner with
all the trimmings,

"dressing, cranberry sauce, green
salad

and homemade peach shortcake."

One dollar.

One dollar?

And only ten miles from here, you
said? Just ten miles?

Right on the highway, you can't miss
it.

Oh, homemade peach shortcake!

That's for me.

Thanks for telling us about it.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Skinner.

Gee, how can they afford to serve all
that for one dollar?

SKINNER: It's impossible.

That's why they went broke.

And there's not another thing clean
to Cincinnati.

Well, group, what do you say?

FRED: Well, I'm so hungry I can't go
another mile.

ETHEL: Oh, me either.

All right, Mr. Skinner.

Four specialties of the house.

Coming up.

Gee, I hope they're good.

Well, what can you do to a cheese
sandwich?

I, uh, hope you didn't go to too much
trouble.

Oh, no trouble.

I just buy them from the salesman
when he comes around.

That salesman hasn't been around here
lately, has he?

Let's get out of here, huh?

Yes.

Uh, how much do we owe you?

Well, let's see.

That's four specialties of the house.

Here you are.

$ . !

Well, uh...

the sandwiches are a dollar apiece

and cents is the entertainment
tax.

Entertainment tax!

Yup.

The whole show is just about to
start.

Ah!

(off-key): Baby dear, listen here

I'm afraid to go home in the dark

Every day, the...

I'll pay! I'll pay!

I'll pay!

I'll pay.

...and the YMCA

I'll pay. Look, there you are.

Thank you very much.

There's your change.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Happy hunting.

FRED: Oh, dear.

What a character.

"Baby dear"!
Yeah.

RICKY: Oh, I sure hate think to drive

all the way to Cincinnati now.

Well, I'd take the wheel, Rick,

but I'm too sleepy.

Well, let me drive, Ricky.

Well, I don't know, honey.

Oh, go on, there's no traffic now.

Okay. I'll keep an eye on you.

Okay.

(Ricky grunting)

(engine starts)

Next stop, Cincinnati!

Here we are.
Wake up, everybody, come on.

RICKY (groaning): No.

LUCY: Wake up, we're here.
Come on, hurry up.

(others grumbling)

Everybody out!

Are we in Cincinnati?

No, sir. We're at the... Oh, no!

Uh, back in the car, everybody.

Back in the car.

Lucy, now, what is...
what's going on?

What are, what are you doing?

Well, I...

Oh, we're not back in the same place!

We are unless there's a chain of
these across the country.

Oh, no.

Lucy!

Well, I was only trying to help.

I saw a sign that said,

"Good accommodations, good food"

and an arrow saying, "Take this
road."

And somehow I wound up back here.

Well, as long as we're here,

we're in no condition to continue.

We'll stay right here.

Here?

In Lower Slobovia?

Look, Fred, there's one good thing

about this place.

It's here.

Let's make the best of it. Come on.

I'm afraid to go

I'm afraid to go

I'm afraid to go...

Welcome back, folks.

I've been waiting for you.

What?

That sign I put up really works,
don't it?

Takes you right around in a circle.

(cackling)

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Look, uh, uh, we decided to stay here
for the night.

We'd like a couple of cabins, please.

Well, I've only got one.

The price is eight dollars.

You only got one left?

I've only got one.

That's all I ever had.

It'll sleep four.

Well, let's take it.
I-I'm tired.

Well, it's only eight dollars.

Well, it'll be .

Eight dollars a couple.

Eight dollars, $ , who cares?

Oh, he is tired!

Come on.

Well, follow me.

Go ahead.

Well, here we are.

Well, back in the car, everybody.

Just a minute, just a minute, honey.

As long as we're here, we might as
well stay here.

Sleep tight.

Thanks.

Who wants to sleep where?

It doesn't matter to me.

Me either.

Well, all right, all right.

We'll take the bunk.

Okay.

Okay, we'll take the bed.

Uh...

Maybe we'd better take turns changing

in that room, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, yeah. I'll go first.

Oh...

I forgot my toothpaste.

LUCY: Oh.

Hey, honey, this bed doesn't look too
bad.

I hope it isn't hard.

Whoa!

Oh, fine.

Well, at least it's a bed.

This isn't a bed, it's a canoe.

Oh, no!

I don't believe this.

Come over here, honey.
I'll help you up.

(train approaching)

What was that?

Yeah.

(train whistle blowing loudly)

(loud, sustained chugging and
rumbling)

(train noise intensifying)

(train noise subsiding)

Ethel, are you all right?

Ethel!

Ethel, I can't sleep up here.

Why not?

You know very well that high
altitudes make my nose bleed.

High altitudes make him...

Oh, why didn't you say so before?

Well, I wanted you to warm the bunk
up for me.

What a sneaky character I married!

Come on!

All right, all right.

Get on...
Get in there.

Can't get out under here.

I just don't like you being so
tricky.

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

Oh, Lucy, Lucy!

Oh, oh!

Ouch!

You okay?

You all right?

Yes.

Ricky, what side of the bed do you
want to sleep on, honey?

I don't care.

Okay.

Hey, get over on your own side of the
bed.

Well, that's easier said than done.

Ahh!

Oh!

What are we gonna do, honey?

I don't know.

(train whistle blowing)

It's another train.

It must be another train.

(engine roaring and rumbling)

(noise intensifying)

(train noise subsiding)

What are you doing over here?

Come on, let's push the bed back.

Wait a minute.

Here comes another train the other
way.

It's coming the other way now!

Coming again.

(loud, sustained chugging and
rumbling)

(train noise intensifying)

(train whistle blowing loudly)

(engine roaring and rumbling)

(train noise subsiding)

I wonder if this bed stops in
Chicago.

Let's try to get some sleep.

Maybe that was the last one.

Where's my pillow?

Right here.

Okay.

Ahh!

(grunts)

I can't sleep in this hole!

Rick, Rick, What?

our mattress is just like that at
home.

We'll trade with you.

Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah, I know. Come on.

Come on, we'll trade.

Thank you, honey.

Thank you very much.

Whoa!

FRED: What's going on?
What...

ETHEL: Get up, Fred.

What?
Get up.

We're gonna trade with them.

Get up for what?
Come on, come on.

Oh... what...
Come on.

You take the bed now.

Take the bed.

Lie down.

No, wait just a minute now. Come on.

Now! Go!

Hey!

You do that every night?

Yeah, but it took years of practice.

(cat yowling)

Ricky... Ricky.

Hmm?

The baby's crying.

See what's the matter with him.

Okay, honey.

No... I don't know what we're gonna
do.

(train approaching)

Hold on, everybody, hold on!

Here it comes, the next one.

(train passing by)

Here it comes!

(train whistle blowing loudly)

(loud chugging and rumbling)

(noise intensifying)

(train noise subsiding)

I don't know about you, but I'm
getting out of here!

Me, too, I'd rather sleep in the car.

$ down the drain.

Oh, no, I'm not gonna pay him $ for
this.

I'm gonna sue him for renting it to
us.

Yeah.

You mean we're gonna sneak out of
here?

Yeah, he'll never know!

Come on, get your coat out.

Fred, wake up!

Wake up, Fred!

Fred, wake up!
Fred!

Is it morning already?

No, come on.

How can he sleep through all that?

Somebody tied a string to the car.

What's the matter?

I don't know. Somebody tied a string
here.

Bust it.

Yeah.

(sirens wailing, alarms blaring)

It's all right, honey.

It's all right, honey.

Oh!
It's all right.

He had a burglar alarm hooked up in
there.

I feel like I'm breaking out of
prison.

Let's get out of here.
Come on, let's go.

FRED: Yeah, come on, jump in, honey.

Oh, no.
Huh?

What's the matter?

Our steering wheel is missing.

It's gone!

Our steering wheel is gone!

You folks lose something?

You give us back our steering wheel!

Your steering wheel?

I don't know what you're talking
about.

You do, too! You took it off just to
keep us here!

Well, you-you-you've got an awful
suspicious mind

to think that we'd try to get away

in the middle of the night.
(whistling)

What kind of people

do you think we are anyway?!
Lucy...

Hey, hey, honey, honey, we..

Yeah, well...
Oh, Oh.

What made you think we'd sneak away?

Well, everybody does.

You know, if you didn't like that
cabin,

you don't have to pay me the $ .

Really? Oh, well, uh...

Well, gee, that's very nice of you.

That's a rotten shame

your steering wheel being stolen.

You know, I just happen to have an
extra one here.

I'll let you have it for $ .

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

ANNOUNCER: Mr. Skinner was played by
Olin Howlin.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at this same
time.