02x08 - Red Handed

[bunniefuu]

PREVIOUSLY ON "WORKIN' MOMS":

ANNE: If you keep this up,
I may never let you go back

- to school again.
- But how would I learn?

I don't know! Sounds
pretty risky, doesn't it?

It hurts when I pee.

Well, it sounds like you got an STD.

So it's either your new
girl, or it's Jenny.

IAN: What?

You're in a new relationship?

FRANKIE: I'm also dating
somebody way younger.

[expl*si*n SOUND]

We've been k*lling it
since Hashtag Nailedlt,

and it's all thanks to you!

Richard's convinced
someone leaked your hashtag.

Yeah, what's the deal?
Do they suspect anyone?

- Out! You're fired! Go! Go!
- [SOBS]

KATE: Just gotta tell Richard.

So you come home tonight with one job.

I might come home with none.

♪

- Big R!
- Oh, yes, yes,

yes, you're here now. I was lookin' for ya.

- Oh, take a seat.
- Yeah.

- [RICHARD SIGHS]
- What's up? You look sad.

This whole SNAFU with the Nailedlt hashtag

really embarrassed us
in front of the client,

and then the word spread fast.

Gaze has a great reputation.

We just lost the Saxon Field account.

Oh.

They gave me some nonsense
about going in-house,

but I know they've been
snoopin' around at that

same g*dd*mn agency,

the one run by children... what is it?

- I think it's Baseline.
- [SCOFFS]

- You know, part of me...
- [FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLE]

- Sorry.
- [COPIER BEEPS AND RUNS]

Something tells me I
should just go over there

and surrender, you know? Join forces.

Anyway, there's another
reason I came in here,

and that was to give you some good news.

Yeah? You, uh, pick up Tae-Bo again?

No, my daughter found
double time frightening.

- Well, it's common.
- It's better than that.

We want you back full-time here.

- [PHONES RING IN BACKGROUND]
- Wait, what?

I told them in no uncertain terms

that you were the best thing to
ever walk through these doors,

and it was time to let you do
what you do, and do it well.

- Aw!
- Measles or not.

You know I don't have measles, right?

So I hope this helps you outta your slump.

I know it's been a tough couple a months

with these stupid hours,
and your dad and...

- [SLAPS PAPER ON HAND]
- Got your back, kid.

[COMPUTER SLAMS SHUT]

♪
♪

- Who's this?
- Giroux.

Were you two just... alone in there?

- Yeah.
- With the door closed?

So?

Alice, you know you're not allowed

to be in your room with a boy.

Well, Mom says I'm entitled to my privacy.

Come on, Giroux.

♪

And then what happens? She gets pregnant?

Lionel, you know when
you're dramatic like this,

- you remind me of your mother.
- [HORRIFIED GASP]

How dare you!

Look, we leave 'em alone,
and next thing we know,

they're playing doctor together.

Please, if anything,
Alice would be the doctor.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

I used to play a lotta
doctor when I was her age.

I was practically a walk-in clinic.

[CRUNCHES CUCUMBER]

I think I hear the baby crying.

The monitor sounds on. She's fine.

Get out!

[DISHES CLANG, SLAMS DISHWASHER SHUT]

- Did you hear that?
- You can't listen to her,

she was raised by witches.

- We need to trust Alice.
- Fine, on one condition.

We put the Go Pro in her room.

What? You wanna spy on our daughter.

That's an invasion of privacy.

'Kay, I will follow your lead.

I just wanna make sure
that whatever unicorn games

they're playing,

Jar Jar's horn isn't involved.

Lionel out.

♪

Will you please let me
pay for microblading?

I feel responsible.

Really? I'm kinda
diggin' the no-brow look.

It's like a new beginning.

You know, baby face, and
grow into a man face later.

Okay, enough about the
brows. We're here for results.

What'd the doctor say? Do you have crabs?

[SIRENS WAIL IN THE DISTANCE]

- Chlamydia.
- Yes! Yes!

Told you! I knew it!

- You owe me bucks.
- Whatever.

Sorry, man, that's really too bad, but...

who hasn't had Chlamydia, right?

I haven't.

It had to have been
Jenny that gave it to me.

Like, of course it was Jenny.
How could I have been so blind?

For the record, you don't know

that Jenny gave you the STD.

For the record, you don't know Jenny.

If I thought Lionel gave me an STD,

I would cut all the toes off his socks...

and the penis off his body.

[RAPID KNOCKING]

Geez.

- Hey!
- I need to talk to you.

- [DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
- Are you okay?

Oh... what happened to your eyebrows?

- Did you give me an STD?
- What? No.

Oh, yeah, right, then how
did I get chlamydia, huh?

- It had to have been from you.
- [JENNY SCOFFS]

- Huh? Or you!
- Come on, man.

Ian, I swear there is no
way that I gave you that.

Ew.

[FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLE ON FLOOR]

[TAPS HARD HAT]

So... you didn't give it to me?

No!

Hm... Sorry 'bout that. Carry on!

- See ya, Marvin.
- [DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

- Where did his eyebrows go?
- I dunno.

♪

What do you and Giroux
do when you're together?

- I dunno. Play Uno. Dress up.
- [SIGHS]

- Like unicorns?
- Ew, no. What am I, ?

Okay, do...

Well, when you guys are...

are... when... do... [SIGHS]

Do you guys touch each other?

- Why would we do that?
- I am so sorry. I'm sorry.

Why would you even ask me that?

I'm sorry, honey, I just
wanted to make sure that...

Make sure what?

[SILENCE]

Do you want some ice cream?

Okay, why don't you go downstairs,

run the scooper under some warm water.

I'll be right there, okay?

[FOOTSTEPS THUD]

[SIGHS] God.

[SIGHS]

[RUSTLING]

Why you little...

[GRUNTS]

[MOCKINGLY] Oh! Why would we do that, Mom?

Okay, tits camera.

♪

[PHONE RINGS]

NATHAN: Hello?

Guess who's back on full time?

What? Yes! That's awesome!

- I know, it's gonna be...
- You know what this is,

this is leverage, you can use this.

For what? I already got full-time back,

I'm not lookin' for over-time.

No, no, no, leverage at Baseline.

You take this to them, and you
tell 'em you want more money,

more hours.

Well, I'm actually on my
way to Baseline right now,

but... to quit.

Are you crazy?

Gaze has been treating you
like sh*t for the last months.

This is your chance to stick it to them.

I guess I just don't see it that way.

I mean, Gaze took a chance
on me when I was a nobody,

and it's where I'm the happiest!

I get your loyalty to Richard,

I think it's admirable,
I do, but... [SIGHS],

you're the one who's always
talking about ambition,

and going for your dreams.

Honestly, I don't know how
you could just sit on this.

Look, this is my way of making
things right, Nathan, okay?

And, I know you see it as
weak, or whatever, but...

Okay, do what you have to do. Just uh...

come home happy about where you work.

For once.

I will.

- Okay. Love you.
- Love you, too.

[PHONE BEEPS]

♪

♪ Strut! ♪

♪

Oh, hey! Come on in here!

RICHARD: So weird.

[FOOTSTEPS TAP LIGHTLY]

- Kate, what are you...
- Richard, uh... I just...

I... mm.

PURDEEP: Richard was just asking

about the Nailedlt hashtag.

Richard, may I present to you,
the face behind that campaign.

♪

You? It was you?

I was... uh... uh...

♪

[GULPS]

PURDEEP: Look, I'm sure
your methods have proven

to be effective elsewhere,

but here we strive on being authentic.

I'm not sure your value
system supports that.

To be honest, I'm just kinda hurt.

I didn't require long hours of you,

or monkey suits.

I just wanted you to shine.

You took advantage of me, Kate.

Kate, we need to let you go.

♪

♪ In my time, I've been prone to emotion ♪

♪ Tears in my eyes, I've
cried rivers and oceans ♪

♪ You say one word love
is like an expl*si*n ♪

♪ See all of me... ♪

Oh hey, I heard what you did!

Pretty great! Stupid, though.

♪ If some day finds us
not together, whatever ♪

♪ Just pull on my chain
I'll come get ya, wherever ♪

Hey... I...

♪ If ever at all should get too dark ♪

♪ Don't you ever give up,
I'll be there for ya, ♪

♪ If ever it all should get too dark ♪

♪ Shine, shine bright ♪

Hey, man, why don't you take a picture?

No, get the f*ck outta here with that!

[CRASHES INTO PLANT]

♪ You won't find this every day, ♪

♪ My love is like a diamond
on an endless chain ♪

♪ No way, oh... ♪

♪ Now we were two, but wouldn't you know ♪

♪ That two started becoming one ♪

♪ Young and scared, I tried to run, ♪

♪ But oh how I felt that tug ♪

♪ He pulled me back into his arms ♪

♪ From halfway across the world ♪

[PAPER RUSTLES]

Uh... are you here with your partner?

Partner?

Well, for public health reasons,

I can provide pills for both
you and your sexual partner.

Will you be seeing your partner again?

I think she's the one who
gave me chlamydia or...

What do you think? Should I see her again?

I... uh... maybe not?

- It'll just be a few minutes.
- Okay, yeah.

[TRAFFIC RUMBLES BY]

[PHONE RINGS]

- SONYA: Hello?
- Sonya, finally!

- Hi. [CHUCKLES]
- Um, it's Ian.

Yeah, I know, Ian. Caller
ID kind of gives you away.

[CHUCKLES]

I have Chlamydia... and I'm uh...

pretty sure I got it from you.

- What?
- Yeah.

I have it, and I-I talked to Jenny

because I-I was sure that
she's the one who gave it to me.

She swears there's no way
that it could've been her.

I see, I see.

Am I the only other person
that you've been with?

Mhm. You're the only
other person that I've...

...been with.

Oh. Oh no.

- I'm so sorry, Ian.
- What?

[SIGHS] I had no idea,

and I'm really embarrassed.
This is a first... for me.

I just, I feel disgusting right now.

No, look, you're not disgusting.

I mean, if you're disgusting,
then I'm disgusting,

because I have it too, right?

Yeah, 'cause I gave it to you.

Well, yeah but I mean
if-if you gave me a cold,

I wouldn't judge you for that.

You know, and this is
like getting a cold...

- in your pants.
- [CHUCKLES] Shut up.

Look, this whole thing
got me thinking about...

you probably got this from another guy.

And then I thought about
you with another guy,

and I hated it.

I'm getting antibiotics for
the both of us, right now.

Come take chlamydia dr*gs
with me and be my girlfriend!

- Really?
- Yes! Really!

So f*ckin' much really.

Okay, yes, sure, yes. Yes.

I'll see you soon. I'm coming.

I can't wait!

Me neither.

[LAUGHS, PHONE BEEPS]

So you, uh, take all pills at once,

- but just so you know...
- [PHONE RINGS]

- Shannon!
- Ian.

- Just, just... Yeah, hi.
- Can't talk long,

but great news, the studio is in!

Well, I mean, they wanna
meet, but anyways, it is good!

Oh my god! That's...
seriously! That's amazing news!

Thank you! Uh, let's talk tomorrow.

- Okay, hon, bye-bye.
- Yeah, okay. Bye.

Uh... as you were.

So you take all pills at
once, but just so you know,

they'll probably cause diarrhea.

Okay, great, thanks, man! [CHUCKLES]

I don't think you heard me.
You're gonna get diarrhea.

I know! I heard you!

It's just that I just sold a screenplay,

and the girl that gave me chlamydia,

is gonna be my girlfriend.

- Hooray!
- Yeah. Come here!

- Uh...
- [KISS] Ahh!

♪

[PHONE CHIMES]

[CHUCKLES] Slacklining?

- You crazy kids.
- What's that?

Oh here, check it out.

Who is this creature?

Oh, that's just a girl I've been seein'.

Girl?

You're seeing other people?

Oh, well I just thought
we were, you know, casual.

Casual. [CHUCKLES]

You live in my home!

- Yeah, I just thought...
- Frankie,

I am finding this very disrespectful.

♪

♪ Took your head outta my hands ♪

♪ And left your empty
shell on the shoreline ♪

[FOOTSTEPS THUD]

Well, well, well!

What is this?

It's a video of Alice and Giroux.

Huh. You set up the Go Pro.

Yes.

But Anne, that is an
invasion of her privacy.

Lionel! I feel bad enough already.

Now would you please press play,

because I cannot bring myself to do it.

[CLICKS REMOTE BUTTON]

[SILENCE]

Take off your shirt!

Sit on the bed.

Put this on!

Put this in your mouth.

No!

- Is this a sock?
- Put the sock in your mouth!

- Please, please don't it.
- ALICE: Do it!

♪

You've been kidnapped, now
say goodbye to your family.

[STUNNED SILENCE]

[FOOTSTEPS THUD]

[MUFFLED HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[DOOR OPENS]

[MUFFLED HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]

- Hey!
- Hey.

Oh, um, roller skating's not 'til like...

Um, the thing is Juniper
is... is I don't think I can...

Hey, hands off my sausages, Johnny!

Defrost your own pack!

- [MICROWAVE DOOR SLAMS]
- Sorry, what's up?

Are you sick or something?

No, I'm not sick. Uh...

I just don't think we
should hang out anymore.

I thought you came here to hang out?

Oh... well I just thought I owed it to you,

to like tell you where I
was at and not disappear.

- Why?
- 'Cause I think that's what...

[HARD THUD, SILVERWARE CLATTERS]

Seriously, Johnny, f*ck off!

All right, well, take it easy, I guess.

Listen, Juniper, I just want you to know

- how much I've learned from...
- Johnny, what the f*ck?!

Sorry, I gotta go and
hog tie this m*therf*cker.

- Of course... you do.
- Okay?

- Yup.
- [DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

♪

ANNE: Hey you.

Hi.

Have a seat,

there's something I
wanna talk to you about.

That's funny,

'cause there's something
I wanna talk to you about.

[CAMERA THUDS]

sh*t.

Is this what you call privacy?

- How did you even...
- If you're going to film me,

be a bit more subtle about it.

I hope you liked our hostage video.

Whoa, Alice... stop! Have a seat, please.

I'm sorry, okay, you're right.

You deserve to be respected.

But the privilege of privacy
comes with a few rules.

If you wanna be able to close your door,

then you have to be honest

about what's happening behind it.

I am being honest with you.

Then why go through the
trouble of making a video?

Look, I'm just proposing
a trade-off here, okay?

I give you some freedoms,
and you give me transparency.

Okay.

Do you know what that word means?

You want me to have a see-through door?

[SIGHS]

Alice, I...

I know that you think you
got it all figured out,

but you gotta trust me when I say

that there's some curveballs coming and...

they can be kinda scary.

I just want...

I would like to be your sounding board.

Okay, that doesn't mean that
you have to think what I think,

I just...

I would just like to be in the know.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Okay. Good.

So...

tell me what was going on

before I installed the Go Pro in your room.

I was playing doctor.

Right. And...

and what does that mean?

There's no judgment. You can trust me.

♪ And sad as hell, ♪

♪ And I feel like giving up ♪

[SIGHS] So... this is what happened.

♪ Can you hold my heart ♪

♪ I know you... ♪

DAD: Katie, it's Dad.

You there? I thought you picked up.

[ENGINE REVS, CRUNCHING MASHING SOUND]

Your mother and I were wondering
about dinner next weekend.

[ENGINE REVS, CAR THUDS]

Anyway, love you, kid. Keep at it.

sh*t... I just stepped in sh*t.

[ENGINE REVS]

♪