01x06 - The World Needs Its Hero

Episode transcripts for the 2016 TV show "Jean-Claude Van Johnson". Aired August 2016 - December 2017.
"Jean-Claude Van Johnson" follows a famous action hero/martial arts star, who comes out of retirement to assume an alter ego as undercover private contractor.
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01x06 - The World Needs Its Hero

Post by bunniefuu »

You sure about this?

No one has looked for me here
for 20 years.


You really want to do this?

You know I can fight.

You're gonna have to
do more than fight.


Do you want to do this?

♪ ♪

(grunting softly)



Your turn.

One more time.
You were high. Okay?

- Let's go.
- Mm-hmm.

Go. Bom. Perfect.

(both grunting)

Good. You're gonna
do jab, jabs. Okay, so...

Bom. That's right.
One more time.


(both grunting)


Hit any one of them...

lights out.

I want you to hit them all.

Bom. Bom.

Bom, bom, bom, bom.

(both grunting)

♪ ♪

How is it coming?

I'll be ready.

(sighs) But I'll still just be
one person.

We're going to need help.

(smacks lips)

Oh, my God, it's gorg.

As usual.

You're a lifesaver, Luis.


Okay. See you next week.

- Ciao, Bella.
- Ciao.


How can I help you?

(sighs softly)

I am a new hire.

We are being watched.

So work.

HK is everywhere.

Bigger than ever before.

We were pawns.

So someone used us.

So what?
That's all life ever is.

Not someone, Luis.

The Agency.

The Agency used us.

Just like the cartel used you.

I know what you did.

It's never too late
to balance the scales.

This is my life now.

Maybe it's your life,

but it's not your calling.

A man I trust with my life
once told me,

"You can't turn your back
on your calling."

(kicks table)



(Vanessa panting)

I'm ready.


♪ ♪

(both grunting)


You're ready.


Do you remember your first k*ll?

It was in, uh, Panama City.

Infiltrating a, um, a warehouse.

I, uh, crept up behind a guard.

And I hit him.

Right here.

Put him to sleep.

When he fell,
I saw he was an old man.

I gave him a heart att*ck.

I try CPR.

Didn't know how.

I broke all his ribs.

Does it ever get any easier?

(sighs, swallows)

You just, uh...

you just get used to it.

That's all.

That's what I'm scared of,
I think.

I just...

don't want to end up like...

Like me?

I didn't say that.

No, it's...

it's okay, you're...

you're right to be afraid.

Well, uh,

the job didn't make me
what I am.

It was just one more thing
I thought could save me.

Like, uh, being famous.

Or, uh...

...getting you back.

We've spent all this time
getting me ready.

What about you?

My knee is f*cked up.

But look, as always...

I will be ready.

This is Jane
we're talking about here.

It's not your physical
weaknesses she's gonna go after.



JANE: The thing
you're trying to run from,

it's inside you.

So, I hate to tell you,
old friend,

but if you ever want
to find peace,

you're gonna have
to punch a ticket

to the one place you've
never been willing to go...

your own f*cked-up head.

(indistinct conversations)

I know it's a bit of a dump.

After all, it's never gotten

the TLC it needs.

(children talking indistinctly)

And the faces.

- Hmph.
- Some you've tried to forget,

some you're scared to remember.

Old friends.

Fake friends.

The women you loved...
or maybe I should say

the women who loved you.

Your shower uses coconut water?

And, of course,

all the men you've k*lled...

- (growling)
- ...onscreen

and off.

Can you even tell them apart

- (distorted exhale)
- You have to face them all,

if you ever want to see
what's waiting for you.

(audience laughing)

(digital trilling)


(panting, laughing stops)

(birds chirping, geese honking)

(birds chirping, chittering)

(speaking French)

♪ ♪

(f*re crackling)

JANE (quietly):
Ah, yeah.


(record player clicks)

♪ I put a spell on you ♪

♪ 'Cause you're mine... ♪

(doorbell rings)

(singer scatting quietly)

(record player clicks,
music stops)

Hi, Jane.

I was starting
to worry about you.

Come on in.



You sure?

Artisanal toilet wine

smuggled out of Rikers Island.

50K a bottle.

- (cork pops out)
- Oh.

I was hoping you'd come
to celebrate with me.

- (drink pouring)
- Celebrate what?


My number one operative

coming in from the cold.

You used me, Jane.

When I met you, I was nothing.

Just a movie star,

making millions of dollars.

You gave me a purpose.

You made me the hero I was
flawlessly pretending to be.

- Oh, honey.
- No, no, stop, Jane.

You knew exactly what I needed.

And you used it against me.

For what?



You're no better than Dragan.

Oh, please.

Dragan. Idiot.

Wasting a perfectly good
drug empire

to build
a weather control device

so he could take over the world.

Christ, listen to me.

I sound like an idiot
just saying it.

It's 2017.

The world is entropy, chaos,

decentralized networks.

There's nothing left
to take over.

JC, you did the world a favor
and you can again.

It's not what you thought.

What job is?


How long?


How long?

How long what?

How long has it been like this?

When did you stop
using me for justice

and start using me for profits?


When did it switch?

JC, it never switched.

I've never been a hero.

Oh, honey, there are no heroes.


why did you let me take the job

if you had Brown in place?


if anything went sideways,

no one is going to miss
Jean-Claude Van Damme.

But I-it doesn't have to

be like that, okay?

No, we could change this,

Yeah, we can build you back up.

Get it all back:
the fame, the fortune.

(scoffs) I don't need
those things anymore.

Tell me what you need.

I need to do what's right, Jane.


I am sorry to hear that.

All units to Queen's station.

We have a visitor who
has overstayed his welcome.

When I was retired,

I had a dinner
with an old friend;

an agent from CAA.



We shared a bottle together.

A small batch of Japanese
toilet wine.

Brewed in a World w*r II
P.O.W. camp.

(yells, man grunts)

Aged 75 years.

(Jean-Claude sniffs)

It was spectacular.

I should call him.

All units confirm location.

I repeat,
all units confirm location.

- (grunts)
- (gasps)


Toilet wine?

No, thanks.

I'm trying to quit.

You don't get it.

We've got poppy fields
on six continents.

Shipping warehouses,
growing operations.

Interconnected, automated,
and totally untouchable.

Even the sun can't get
within 100 miles.


You do what's right.

You can k*ll me,
you can take down

the entire agency if you like.

The machine will still
keep churning.

Nothing you do can stop it.

That might be true.

If we didn't have
a weather control device.

(beeping, whirring)

(electronic dialing, trilling)

(powering up)

(alarm sounding)

(thunder rumbling)

(Vanessa gasps, glass breaks)

(Vanessa grunts)

♪ ♪

Where is she?


(alert beeping)

(mechanical whirring)

The tennis court.

(mechanical whirring continues)

Oh, my God.

A f*cking helicopter garage?

- She can't escape.
- There's no way to stop it.

(creaking, whirring)

Yes, there is.

(birds singing)

My gift.

(Jean-Claude grunts)


JC, what are you doing?

(exhales slowly)

It'll tear you apart.

I can hold it.

Don't worry.

You're ready.

The world still needs
its hero, JC.

I know.

I'm looking at her.




Are you mad because you didn't
account for her...

or because you wish it was you?

It's not too late for you,
you know.

I know what you want,
what you've always wanted...

and it can still be yours.

It's already mine.

Mm. What a fool believes.

Take care of that, will you?

I tried to tell you.

If you had been doing my hair,

you'd be standing next to me
right now,

getting ready for the next job.

Instead, you're standing
across from me...

(radio crackles)

...getting ready to die.

I'm a trained operative.

Do you really think
you can take me?

f*ck around and find out.





(metal groaning)






I thought you were
a strong woman.

I guess I was wrong.



(bones snap)

(metal groaning)


(birds trilling)


Just give up.

I'll make it fast.

(Vanessa shouting)

You think you can hold it,

but I promise you, you can't!

- (Vanessa grunts)
- (Krisztina shouts)

- You can't.
- Can't.



Oh, yes, I f*cking can!






Damn it.

♪ ♪




Oh, you ungrateful bitch.

I made you.

- And I made him.
- Yes.

You made him what he was,
a monster.

But he's something
different now.

Something better.


They say there's
a special place in hell

for women who don't support
other women.

I've heard that, too.

I'll see you there.

(Vanessa grunts)

(speaking French)

(speaking French)

I love you.


♪ ♪


JC. JC, are you okay?

We'll get help.

Don't need help.

This is the best I ever felt
in my life.



It's been handled.



Nice to see the real you.

You, too.

What now?

And now... I live.

Thank you for coming.

I know you're busy.

We flushed all the snakes
out of the agency.

There's just one left
and he's in Mumbai.

And you were on the way.

Truth is, we would've come

even if you were on the moon.

It's beautiful.

But you know "memorial"
means you're d*ad, right?

Jean-Claude Van Damme is d*ad.

But Jean-Claude Van Varenberg...

is alive.

- Nice to meet you.
- (Vanessa chuckles)

Nice to meet you, finally.



(air whooshing)


What the f*ck are you doing
just sitting there?

JC, we have to hurry.

The time w*r is coming.

♪ ♪
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