We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story (1993)

[bunniefuu]

(BEBOP MUSIC PLAYING)

(REX VOCALIZING)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Get it, Shorty!

(CLAMORING)

Here, you want it?
Want it?
Here, take it, take it!

All right,
all right.
Come on.

(GRUNTING)

(CHICKS SHOUTING)

(GRUNTS)

(CHICKS LAUGHING)

(TWITTERING)

(TWITTERING LOUDLY)

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, hey, hey!
Hey! What about me?
What about me?

Here's food.
Fight over it.

Now, George...

Only way
they'll learn.

(ALL CLAMORING)

(RAZZING)

That was not fair.

Oh, baby,
my sweet baby.

CHICKS: (IN SINGSONG)
Mommy's little birdie.
Mommy's little birdie.

He's so adorable.

Ma, don't do that.
You're acting
like I just hatched.

What am I, a chick?

Guess the writing's
on the wall.
It's time to leave the nest.

MOTHER BIRD: Buster, wait.
You're still too young.

This flying's a snap.
Surprised I ain't
done it before.

(TIRES SCREECH)

(HUMMING)

Expect a postcard
from some place warm.
Miami, maybe Cuba.

BUSTER:
Arrivederci, Mama.

(GASPING)

(SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(SIGHING)

Hey! Wait,
what... Hey!
Hello there,
little fella.

Where'd you fall from?

No place.
Just leave me alone.

No place? No place?
Never been there.

What's your name?
Buster.

Well, Buster,
don't you have
a mom somewhere

that's probably
worried about you?

BUSTER: (CHUCKLING) Yeah.

So, what are you gonna
endeavor to do now?

I'm gonna run away
and join the circus.

Oh, the circus, the circus.
Now, you're talking sense.

The circus is an ocean
with some spice.

You know, I know
a little fellow who ran away
and joined the circus.

Say, ain't you
a dinosaur?

Why, yes.
From tooth to toe, I am.

Then what the heck
are you doing
playing golf?

I'm smart, Buster.
I'm one smart dinosaur.

But I wasn't always.

You weren't?
No. No, sirree.

No, I started off
stupid and violent.

You did?

This was a long time ago,
you understand?
A long time ago.

I was a real terror then.

I was a real animal.

And I was hungry
all the time.

(SCREAMING)

(ROARING)

(WHIMPERING)

(ROARING)

Ah, a potential customer.

(WHISTLES)

Oh, hello, Madam.
Oh, sir, this is
your lucky day.

Through a lengthy process
of random selection,
your galaxy,

your planet,
your neighborhood,

hold on to your tail
now, kiddo.

You, yes, you have been
chosen as the beneficiary
of a promotional campaign.

(LAUGHING) Yes.

Here, before your very eyes,
I have a product.

(GULPS)

A revolutionary product.
You haven't tasted
stuff like this before.

(LAUGHING)
Brain Grain cereal.

Take one bite,
you'll have an idea.

Take two bites,
you'll have a hypothesis.
You'll be smart.

Comes in two flavors,
regular or nutty-nut.

Choose your poison, partner.
You're gonna love this.
Yes, sirree bob.

Remember your manners,
you big-mouthed,
jaw-dropping carnivore.

(EXCLAIMS)

That's it. I'm irritated.
I'm going back
to the ship.

(ROARING)

(LAUGHS)

Lunchtime!

(ROARING)

(SINGING)
Row your boat
gently down the stream

Huh?

Row, row, row
VORB:
What a personality.

your boat...
- Thank goodness
for chrome hunger.

It's taken portions
of Brain Grain to jumpstart
that skull of yours, pal.

...merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream

(LAUGHING)
How about some more?

(VORB CLAMORING)

(ROBOT ARM SCOLDING)

Lunch?

What's lunch?

(BELCHES)

Oh, excuse me.

(BELCHES)

VORB: Hey, why don't
you check out the other
Brain Grain graduates?

I gotta report
to Captain Neweyes.
Get social.

Hi, everybody.

(STAMMERING)

Oh. Oh.

"My name is Rex."

Hey, how did
I do that?

I'm Elsa.

Enchanted
and delighted to make
your acquaintance, Rex.

(CHUCKLING)
Pardon my wingspan,
won't you please?

(CLEARING THROAT)

Yeah, okay.

Hey, I'm Woog.

You want a hot dog?
Or do you want a hot dog?

Is it good?

Is it good?
Words fail me.

How many we had
so far today, Dweeb?

, and that's
with everything.

Take it
on faith, Rex.

You want
a hot dog bad.
Hi, I'm Dweeb.

He's gotta
have mustard on it.

And don't forget
the sauerkraut.

I was amazed
by the sauerkraut.

WOOG:
She laid an egg.

(WOOG LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) I did.
I laid an egg.
I was so embarrassed.

Rex, I feel such a fool,
but I must say it.

You are a rough
and handsome fellow.

(CHUCKLES)
Forgive me,
I'm so flighty.

(CLEARING THROAT)

(SNIFFING)

Smells good.

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, that's
what I call

(ROARING) lunch!

DWEEB: Lunch?
That's what
you used to call me.

Hey, I'm sorry
about the way I've acted.

I was a real animal.

We all have
regrets, Rex.

Tell me about it.
The things I've stepped on.

(CHUCKLES)

Let's face it.
We've evolved.

REX: Wow.

(HUMMING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Greetings, friends,
and welcome to my ship.
I'm Captain Neweyes.

I live in the far future,
where all the species
on all the planets

have had to learn
to get along, eh, Vorb?

That's the truth, skipper.

I've made a fortune out of
my Brain Grain cereal,

and now in my golden years,
I'm trying to
give something back.

I'm trying to make
a few wishes come true,

and to that end,
I invented this.

It's a wish radio.

With it, I can hear
what people are wishing for,

especially young people
because they wish the loudest.

Now, let me tune into
this one station
in the middle future.

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

(CHILDREN WHISPERING)

I wish I had a moustache
just like Daddy.

WOMAN: I wish...

I wish my sister
was nicer to me.

I wish all the dinosaurs
would be here right now.

I wish I could see
a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"Rex"? Why, Captain,
that's me. That's me.

I wish I could see
one of those flying dinosaurs.

(CHUCKLING)
Why, that's me. I fly.

(STAMMERING)
I wish I could see
a padasaurus.

(EXCLAIMING)

This is great.

BOY: I wish I could see
a triceratops.

I wish I could see
more dinosaurs...
Dinosaurs.

(CHUCKLING)
Son of a gunosaur,
that's us.

That's right.
That's you.

There are a lot of
children down there

in this one particular
time that miss you,

and they're
wishing for you.

I've never heard
a louder wish.

So I gave you
all Brain Grain,

and now you're
smart enough to
make up your own minds.

Who's that?

They're young people,
boys and girls.
They want to meet you.

What do you say?

Gee, I wish
I had a friend.

We'll do it.

Why not?
I'd love to.

By all means.

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

I wish I had
a Thanksgiving hat.

(SIGHING)

(ALARM RINGING)

(WHISTLES)

Excuse me,
Captain Neweyes, sir.
We've arrived.

Thank you, Vorb.
You may open
the pod bay doors.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

It's a world
covered with jewels.

(MUMBLING)

Look at all those lights.

Now, there are
two people down there
you should know about.

One person is
there to help you.

Her name is
Dr. Juliet Bleeb.

I like her face,
so full of character.

Welcome, welcome.
CAPTAIN NEWEYES:
She knows you're coming.

She needs you to
fulfill the wishes
of many children.

Her address is
The Museum
of Natural History.

The Museum
of Natural History.

Now, the other person
you should know about

is my brother,
Professor Screweyes.

(SCREAMING)

He's cruel.
He's insane.

He travels around
down in this time
causing mischief.

He was driven mad
by the loss
of his eye long ago.

My advice to you is
find Dr. Bleeb

and stay well clear
of my dark
and unhappy brother.

Beyond that,
just try not to
step on anybody.

(TITTERING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

All right.
You got the boat
ready, Vorb?

Aye, aye, skipper.

CAPTAIN NEWEYES:
Farewell, my friends.

(ALL SCREAMING)

You gotta be kidding.

Arrivederci. Goodbye.

(DINOSAURS SCREAMING)

(DWEEB LAUGHING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(MUSIC DISTORTING)

(GASPING)

(SIGHING)

(COUGHING)

Well, great day
in the morning.

(EXCLAIMING)

Wow.

Magnificent.

Gee whiz.
ELSA: What is it?

It's New York City,
you moron.

(ALL GASPING)

Whoa there,
little fella.

(COUGHING)

(LOUIE GASPS)
Hi, my name's Dweeb.

I'm Woog.

I'm Elsa.

The name's Rex.
What's yours?

I think my name is Louie,

but seeing you
is giving me doubts
about my brain.

What are you guys,
anyway?

Dinosaurs, actually.

Dinosaurs, huh?

You do got that look.
I mean, you are big.

Well, you're
very small.

I'm big enough
to suit
my own purposes.

What are you,
a bat?

I'm a pterodactyl,
actually.

(ELSA EXCLAIMING)

(ELSA LAUGHING)

Well, what are you?

I was a runaway
to the circus till
you clowns sank me.

What's the circus?

What's the circus?

It's the big top,
leatherhead.

Show business.
You guys ain't lived.

Where you guys
going, anyways?

We're going to
The Museum
of Natural History.

That's perfect.
There's a circus
showing in Central Park.

One's right by the other.
Give me a lift
to the circus,

take a gander,
and cross right over
to the museum.

Showing up
with a pack
of dinosaurs

should put me
in real solid
with the ringmaster.

What do you say?

Well, I'm game.
Okay.

Certainly.

Okay, yeah.

(REX EXCLAIMING)

(GULLS CAWING)

Welcome to New York City.

(GASPING)

(REX SCREAMING)

Rex!
Rex!

Help, I can't swim!

Hang on, big fella!

Lift me up.

LOUIE: Think, think,
think, think, think.
Think, Louie, think.

Help!

Okay.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Grab on!

(WHEEZING)

I wish...

I wish...

I remember you.

I wish...

LOUIE: Gee, I wish
I had a friend.

I owe you one, Louie.

(CHUCKLES)

These things happen.

(GASPS SOFTLY)

(EXHALES)

Just get me to
the circus, and we'll
say no more about it.

Ow!

LOUIE: Be careful, will you?
I can't be saving you
every two minutes.

Late. Late again.
Late for everything.

Welcome to New York City.

Oh. They're not here.

I've missed them
with my endless,
shameless lateness.

Oh, well,
we'll rendezvous.
We'll rendezvous.

(SCOOTER STARTING)

(TRAFFIC BUSTLING)

You know,
New York isn't
ready for you guys.

We need a plan.
I got it.
Hey you, the bat.

I am not a bat.
I am a pterodactyl.

Can you fly?

(CHUCKLING)

(SCREAMING)

(SHOUTING)
Could you get me off
of this thing?

LOUIE: Watch out
for the skyscraper.

(LOUIE SCREAMING)

LOUIE: Coming through!

LOUIE: Goodbye!

You're gonna get us k*lled!

I'm gonna slip off.
Pull up!

You're going too fast!
Slow down, already!
Slow down!

(LOUIE SCREAMING)

(LOUIE WHIMPERING)

ELSA: (CHUCKLING)
Where exactly
would you like to go?

(STUTTERING)

(EXCLAIMS)

There, right there.
That's our ticket uptown.

Let's hang a Louie
and head on back.

(CRYING)

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Hit the brakes,
I gotta land a minute.

Hello.

(SCREAMS)

Hey, hey, hey,
don't panic.
I'm a good guy.

Who are you?
And what's that?

Hey, babe, I'm Louie.
That there's
a friend of mine. I got...

(SLIDING DOOR CLOSING)

I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to frighten you.
Why are you crying?

I am not crying.

Huh?

Back off. Back off.
You're fogging the glass.

Come on, big eyes,
you're k*lling me.
What's the matter?

It's Thanksgiving.

So, what's there
to cry about?

You don't like turkey?

No, it's my parents.

What about your parents?
Do they b*at you?

(MUSIC BOX PLAYING)

No, they're just
never around.

It's Thanksgiving,
and they're off
doing other things.

You see,
my father's very business,

and my mother's
very social.

The name's Louie.
What's yours?

Cecilia Nuthatch.

Well, Cecilia Nuthatch,
you should've had my mother

slobbering kisses
all over me in public.

I had to make tracks,
so you know
what I'm doing?

No. What?

I'm running away
to the circus.

You are?
I am.

What do you say
you throw this hat away
and come fly with me?

(CHUCKLES)

All right, I will.

(SLURPING)

(GLASS SQUEAKING)

Hey, I'm getting hungry.

(DWEEB EXCLAIMING)

(CATS SCREECHING)

I hope they're okay.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING)

Hey, watch
where you're going.

Hey, look!
There they are.

REX: (EXCLAIMING)
They have a little girl
with them.

Everybody, I'd like you
to meet my new friend,
Cecilia Nuthatch.

The name's Rex.
Nice to meet you.

A pleasure, Rex.
Very nice to meet you.

And I'm
Dweeb. Hi.

A pleasure, Dweeb.
Very nice to meet you.

She's so
well brought up.

All right, break it up.
Enough with the pleasantries.

These are all dinosaurs.

(WOOG LAUGHING)

I'm hungry...
I mean, I'm Woog.

Cecilia Nuthatch.
I'm very pleased
to meet you, Woog.

Have you been
a dinosaur long?

Enough with this
tea-party chatter.

(EXCLAIMING)

What are you,
some kind
of a debutante?

CECILIA: Why, yes,
as a matter of fact, I am.

LOUIE: Oh.

(GROWLING SUGGESTIVELY)

(LAUGHING)
Rex!

Listen, I've figured out
a way you guys can stroll
uptown and not cause a riot.

Come on.

(PLAYING MARCHING SONG)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(GASPING)

(PRIMITIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)

BOY : They're enormous!

MAN: I can't believe it.

GIRL : Oh! Look what's
coming down the street.

BOY : Dinosaurs. Quick.

Lift me up
higher, Dad.

Dinosaurs at the parade.

GIRL : Are they gonna
eat us?

Dinosaurs! Quick!

Holy smoke,
are they ever big!

Dinosaurs!

No, Sasha,
they're not dinosaurs.
They're robots.

I wish I could
see real dinosaurs.

I wish I could see
a real dinosaur!

I wish they were real.
I wish they were real.

Dinosaurs, look, dinosaurs!

Yeah, wouldn't it be great
if they were real?

Cool.

(LAUGHING)

(SINGING)
Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

When the Earth was smoking
and the lava flowed

Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

And blow your cool
just like a volcano

Snap your fingers
and stomp your feet

Soaking up a little
of the jungle b*at

Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

And sing this song with me

Roll back the rock
ALL: (SINGING)
Roll back the rock

Turn back the clock
Turn back the clock

Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

And sing this song with me

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) No!

(WHOOPING)

Turn back the clock
Baby, you can see

Why the th century
appeals to me

So much to learn
and so much to do

And a zillion
wonderful things to chew

Roll back the rock
Roll back the rock

Turn back the clock
Turn back the clock

Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

And sing this song with me

So, Cecilia,
what do you think
of my friends?

I think they're swank,
first rank.

Top hat, right down
to their tails.

Say what?

And I like
you, too.

Hey, shut up
with that.

What are you, sappy?

(WAILING)

If you're thinking
this guy's unreal

Just imagine
how I must feel

Just imagine how I must feel

Human beings, what a meal!

Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

And sing this song with me

REX: Hey, hey.

What do you know?
There's another fella
just like me.

Good to see somebody
of a similar persuasion,
if you know what I mean.

Put 'er there.

Roll back the rock
Roll back the rock

Turn back the clock
Turn back the clock

Roll back the rock
to the dawn of time

And sing this song with me

Hi.

Look, Mommy,
those are real dinosaurs.

(GASPING)

They're real.
They're real.

GIRL: They're not robots.
They're alive.

Gosh, real dinosaurs!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Cecilia, I think things
just took a turn
for the worse.

CECILIA: Louie!

Quick, split up.

We'll meet you at
the circus in Central Park.
Now, run!

Central Park?

Where is Central Park?

(ALL SCREAMING)

"Professor Screweyes'
Eccentric Circus."
Professor Screweyes!

That's the bad guy.

ELSA: Gracious.

"Now appearing
in Central Park."

Louie, Cecilia,
they're in danger.
We gotta save them.

OFFICER ON BULLHORN:
You, there! Don't move!

(SIRENS WAILING)
You're under arrest!
Put your claws up!

(ALL SCREAMING)

OFFICER: Hit the deck!
Watch out for the big one.

(OFFICERS CLAMORING)

(HORN HONKING)

(HUMMING)

There we are.

"Dinosaur exhibit.
The Museum
of Natural History."

You can't skimp on publicity.

(WHIMPERING)

LARRY ON RADIO: All right,
it's The Larry King Show.
We're back.

We have a lady with us
who says she has seen
a real dinosaur.

(ENGINE REVVING)
Okay, to midtown. Ma'am?

Larry, I was taking a shower
just now and I looked
out my bathroom window,

and I saw a dinosaur.

LARRY: Okay, thanks
for calling. See you.

(SQUAWKING)

PILOT ON RADIO:
Central chopper one.
Pursuing Mesozoic suspect.

(SCREAMING)

(DWEEB SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

My name is Dweeb.
Hi, nice to see you.
Nice hat.

(MAN SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(ON RADIO) Chopper one
to chopper two,

suspect's no longer in sight.
I lost him.

How about taking a -
for coffee and donuts?

(LAUGHING)

(SCREAMING)

(HORNS HONKING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMING)

OFFICER: Hey, we've got
them surrounded.
Don't let them get away.

Hmm.

OFFICER ON BULLHORN:
We got you surrounded.
Give yourselves up.

(SCREAMING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

(ALARM BUZZING)

(REX SCREAMING)

(DWEEB LAUGHING)

"Professor Screweyes'
Eccentric Circus."

(CROW CAWING)

The map
on the flyer said

that this was
the nearest entrance
to the circus.

Come on.
Okay.

Uh, it's
a little dark here.

Seems a little creepy,
doesn't it?
Hey, Cecilia, look!

"Professor Screweyes'
Eccentric Circus."

This must be
the right way.
Come on.

Oh, look, there's
another sign.

(CAT SCREECHING)

(BOTH PANTING)

You know, Louie...
Yeah?

I really hate
to say this.
Then don't.

Um, it's getting dark.
Maybe we should
go back.

I don't know.
Maybe you're right.

Wait a minute,
there it is.

(SNORTING)

(SHRIEKS)

What are you
looking at?

I didn't mean to.
I was just...

Hey, she's
looking at whatever
she wants to, chump.

Says who?

I do.
Want to make
something of it?

Louie, don't.
There's three of them.

Better listen
to your friend.

You jerks
don't scare me.

Back off,
or I'll feed you
a knuckle sandwich.

You shouldn't
have done that.

Hey, you can't
take a step back
from those kind of creeps.

Oh, Louie,
you're very brave.

Yeah, well,
get off it.
Come on.

(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHING)

(GASPING)

PROFESSOR SCREWEYES:
Who laughed?

I did.

No, it was
me, sir.

Stubbs,
get out of here.

You missed the show, kids.
Come back tomorrow.

(CLEARS THROAT)

So, was that your audience
we passed coming here?

Probably.
Spooky bunch.

I appeal to
a particular group.
What do you want?

Well, we ran away
from home, see...

I see. You ran away
to the circus.

That's right.
You got it.

Well, you ran away
to the wrong circus, kid.
Buzz off.

Um, Louie,
I think we should go.

(CAWING)

(LAUGHING)

Take your girlfriend's
advice, sport.

You don't want us?

Oh, I'll take you in,
if you want.

Louie, please.
I'm not so sure...

Well, it's
a standard contract.

But there's nothing
written on it.

I try to
keep things simple.
Want to sign?

(EXCLAIMS)

Press it to the contract.

Louie, I'm scared.

You are? Good.

(EXCLAIMS)

(GROANS)

CECILIA: And there.
Cecilia?

Well, kids, welcome
to Professor Screweyes'
Eccentric Circus.

Welcome aboard.

ELSA: Yoo-hoo!
Louie! Cecilia!

REX: Where are you?

Who's that?

Oh, it's okay.
They're friends
of mine.

Come on,
I'll show you.

It's him.
Professor Screweyes.

Cecilia, get away
from that man.

Hey, chill out.
We just joined
his circus.

REX: That's
Professor Screweyes.

We were warned
about him.

Warned? By whom?

Your brother.

So that's
how you got here
and why you can talk.

He's fed you that
Brain Grain stuff

and he warned you
about me, eh?

Let him look
to his own affairs.

Did he show you
that hokey
wish radio of his?

Yes, we heard
what people
are wishing for.

Well, I have
a radio, too.
Let me show you.

Nope, no way, nada.

We don't want anything
to do with you.
Come on, kids.

Come to the museum
with us.

The Museum
of Natural History.

They're not
going anywhere.

They are
under contract to me
for a very long time.

(GULPS)

(SOBBING)

But these are
the first children
we've met.

We like them.

Hey, come on.
It's gonna
be all right.

Oh, I don't think so,

unless we can
work something out
with your friends here.

Hmm?

(CACKLING)

This is a time
of loud wishes, yes,
but even louder fears.

This is a fright radio.

It picks up what people
are scared to death of.

You see, I find out
what they're frightened
of on this radio,

and that's what
I try to give them
with my circus.

It's a public service.

But this is the station
that comes in
the loudest of all.

(CHILDREN CRYING)

There's something
behind the door.

There's monsters
in the forest, I bet.

Monsters are gonna eat me.

I hope a monster
doesn't get me.

Eyes staring at me.

(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

Do you see what
they're most afraid of?

No.

Monsters.

Monsters?
You!

Us?
Us?

With a little help, yes.

What's that?
It's Brain Drain.

The remedy to
my brother's goody
two-shoes breakfast cereal.

It'll take you back.
It'll make you monsters.

But we don't want
to be monsters.
Mmm-mmm.

We're not
taking anything.
You can forget it.

All right, you're free.
You can go.

I can't stop you,
but the kids are mine.

(STAMMERING)
What are you doing?

Don't look, Cecilia.
I can't help it.

Among my many other rights
under this contract,

including copyrights
on all their ideas,

I've got an exclusive option
on their willpower.

Now, this is just
a temporary dose,
by way of demonstration.

(ELSA GASPING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(CAWING)

Change them back,
or I'll...

Or you'll what?

You're too enlightened
by my brother's
Brain Grain.

You've lost
your savagery.

You've lost your
frightening, prehistoric
power to intimidate.

You're civilized now
and I've got a contract,

and you're gonna
respect that like
the chumps that you are.

But I'll tell you
what I'd be willing to do.

You all agree to
take the Brain Drain,

and I'll rip up this contract
and set the kids free.

If you don't take it,
I'll bill them as the wild
children of Hellzapoppin,

and use them
to scare people
in the sideshow.

It's up to you.

(GASPING)

(SIGHING)

I'll take it.

And I'll take it,
you loathsome creature.

I'll do it.

Me, too.

Good, now you
come with me.

You're going to
have to be kept
in cages and chains,

because you're gonna
be wild again.

(MONKEYS CHIRPING)

(YAWNING)

Don't be scared.
You'll be all right.

It's no more
than a bad dream.

PROFESSOR SCREWEYES:
Come on, you.

We were friends
for a minute, Louie.

(MOANS)

Rex.

Remember me.

(DOOR CLOSING)

(BIRDS TWITTERING)

(GASPING)

(EXHALES)

(CECILIA LAUGHING)

Good morning, Louie.

Good morning.

STUBBS: Good morning.

Louie, it's that
funny clown.

I brought you breakfast.
Pancakes okay?

LOUIE: Great.
CECILIA: Oh, yes. Splendid.

So, you thought
I was funny?

Oh, yes, very funny.

I can never make
the professor laugh.

Well, he is pretty nutty,
don't you think?

Well, you know,
the show has gotten

pretty weird
and scary, in a way.

(TITTERING)

I like comedy myself.

But the professor promises me
that if I can come up with
a bit that makes him laugh,

he'll put it in the show.

I just ain't been able
to bring it off yet,
that's all.

What's
your name?

Stubbs the Clown.

Formerly of
the legitimate circus.
How you doing?

I'm Cecilia Nuthatch.
It's a pleasure to
meet you, Mr. Stubbs.

Same at you.
Hey, do you want
to see a bit?

Sure.

Watch this, watch this.
Watch this.

This is just...

(STUBBS LAUGHS)

(EXCLAIMS)

(SCREAMING)

So, you thought
that was funny?
That was okay?

Yeah, of course
it was funny.

I showed it to the prof.
He didn't laugh.

LOUIE: You don't
get it, do you?
That guy's crazy.

No, not really crazy.
He's just a little bit
off in his...

Look, after breakfast,
he told me you gotta
get out of here.

What about
the contract?

He tore them up.

That was lucky.
And our friends?

(STAMMERING)
Your... who?

You know,
the dinosaurs.
Forget them.

Hey, no way.
Where are they?

I'm telling you, you ought
to forget them and go about
your merry business.

Where are they, Stubbs?

All right, I'll show you,
but you're not gonna
like it, though.

Come with me.

(SQUAWKS)

(DINOSAURS ROARING)

What's happened
to them,
Mr. Stubbs?

The professor gave them
some stuff that sent them
off the deep end.

That's why
he tore up
your contracts.

That was a deal
they made.

So, they're this way
'cause of me.

I guess so.
He's featuring them
in the show tonight.

All the usual weirdoes
will show up, I'm sure.

Stubbs, you gotta
get us in that show.

I can't do that.

Don't you see?
They did this
for us.

This guy's crazy, Stubbs.
He's never gonna
laugh at your jokes.

(CLATTERING)

(GROANING)

All right,
I'll get you in,

but not 'cause of
what you said.

'Cause of her and you,
when you laughed.

Come on, I gotta
get ready for the show.

(HORNS SOUNDING)

Showtime.

(SCREAMING)

You bunch of dopes!

Um, boo.

(WHISPERING) "Boo"?
Is that the best
you can do?

They're easy
enough to scare.

(SCREAMING)

See?

(MAN SHRIEKING)
But, Louie, I don't
want to scare anybody.

Well, neither do I,
but do you want
to get busted?

All right,
I'll try.

(SCREAMING)

(SHRIEKING)

I don't understand
these people.

Don't you see?
That's why they come,
to get scared.

Simple as that.

(DRUMROLL)

Oh, the show's
starting up.

We better get
to our places.

We're in
the opening bit.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to
the most terrifying show
on the planet Earth,

Professor Screweyes'
Eccentric Circus!

We will scare you.

(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)

We will frighten you.

We will shock you witless

with our dreadful,
terrifying, vile,
monstrous program.

Ladies and gentlemen,
without further ado,

I give you the infernal
grand demon parade.

(WHISPERING)
Okay, this is it.

Just look scary
and wave your pitchforks.

(BATS SCREECHING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)

Louie, I feel so silly.
What is wrong
with these people?

I don't know,
but I've never seen
so many tonsils in my life.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

Here's your face.

(LAUGHING)

(DRUMROLL)
Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you
the most fearsome creatures
of your darkest dreams.

I give you monsters!

(DINOSAURS ROARING)

Smelling salts here,
two for a dollar.
Smelling salts.

(SCREAMS)

Oh, Louie, Louie,
what can we do?

I don't know.

There's nothing
you can do.

And now I will
attempt the impossible.

I will attempt to master
the most fearsome
of all the dinosaur clan,

the ultimate set of teeth
in the history of the world.

The mighty
Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Look into my eye,
you bloodthirsty thing.

(ROARING)

Remove his shackles.

(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)

Now, take two giant steps.

(AUDIENCE SCREAMING)

(CHUCKLES)

Take two steps
toward the audience.

So you see, the creature
that scares you all
does what I say.

I am the master of fear
and I am not afraid!

(ROARS)

(SNARLING)

(SHUDDERING)

Oh, no. No.

(SCREAMING)

The professor.
He's gonna k*ll
the professor.

Rex, no.
Don't do it.
Louie!

What are you, crazy?
You'll be pulverized.

No, don't do it.

(PROFESSOR SCREWEYES
WHIMPERING)

LOUIE: Rex, don't do it,
I'm telling you.

I know you can't
understand me,
but you gotta.

Oh, please don't
let bad happen.

You don't want
to be like him.

Don't ruin everything
'cause you're mad
or scared of something.

It can't be all about that,
or what's life for?

I know I act like
I'm the original tough guy,

but that's 'cause
I'm scared, too.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMS)

No.

Let no bad happen.

But you, you are
the original tough guy.

Rex, you've got
nothing to prove.
You're a giant.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

Don't be a midget bully boy
for these yahoos.

Put him down, Rex.

"Rex." That means "king."

(CRYING) Be a king, Rex.
Put the guy down.
Don't be a stiff.

Don't be just another slob
spoiling the way
the world could be.

Please, please put
him down. Please.

(GASPING)

Way to go, Rex!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

(GASPS)

Wow.

(DINOSAURS ROARING)

(CHUCKLING)

(GROANS)

Ooh!

(GASPS)

(VORB WHISTLING)

Okay, men.
Fire when ready.

(HUMS TRIUMPHANT TUNE)

VORB: Incoming!

VORB: Let's fly.

Fire in the hole!

VORB: The whole sumo!

Well done, gentlemen.
Good work.

Brother.

I should've known
you were behind this.

You'd already lost
by the time I'd arrived.
This boy had beaten you.

I heard your wish
on my wish radio.
Very good.

"Let no bad happen."
Couldn't agree more.

Louie?

You all right, Rex?

Did I do anything bad?

No, you were great.

You were great,
too, Louie.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Don't do that.
Why not?

It's embarrassing.
You kissing me
and everything,

it's unmanly, just...
That is what it is.

You know, you're right.

I am?
Well, yes.

If anybody's kissing anybody,
you should be kissing me.

I should?

(CHUCKLING)
Most definitely.

(SIGHS)

I've been meaning
to talk to you, Rex.

(EXCLAIMS)

About what, Elsa?

The way you look at me,
it makes me want to
lay an egg.

(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

(ALARM RINGING)

(WHISTLES)

Captain Neweyes,
it's time to go.

Okay, everybody, on board.
I've got a surprise for you.

Good night, folks.
Good night, Louie.

Good night,
Stubbs.

PROFESSOR SCREWEYES:
Hey, Stubbs, where do you
think you're going?

Get back here.

Oh, I forgot to
tell you. I quit!

I quit. I resign.

Get this completely
in your ear.

I am profoundly
out of here!

And this ain't
about money.

I ain't even complaining
about my dry-cleaning bill.

But hang around
with elephants all day

and try to keep
your clothes clean!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)
But that's not
the point.

The point is,
I quit. Quitski!
Over-and-outski!

That's all she wrote!
Keep my last check, buddy!

Here's my shoes,
my nose, my horn,
my buzzer, my fake arm,

my bug-eye glasses,
my backstage passes,

my hat, my rabbit,
his backstage passes,

my fake fangs,
a few birds,

my pogo stick,
my donkey ears,

my extending tongue gag,
my rubber chicken.

You can't even
get these anymore.

My lucky whale tooth,
and a giant clam

that opens to reveal
the American flag

held by a mermaid
and her normal
brother, Richard!

So long!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

And by the way,

in case you're wondering
why I'm talking
and they're laughing,

let me explain it
to you.

That's comedy!

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Will you
change your ways
and come with me?

Never.

Then we must go.

(EXCLAIMING)

(STAMMERS)

Brother, brother, wait.

When I am alone,

when I have
no one to scare,

I get very frightened myself.

The crows could...

(GASPING)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

I'm coming. I'm coming.
I'll be there in a moment.

(EXCLAIMS)

Welcome, welcome.
You've taken so long,
I almost gave up.

But the good Captain
explained.

You've had
so many adventures.

Well, you must be tired
after such doings.

DR. BLEEB: I'm sure
you'll sleep well tonight.

Have your dreams
of this beautiful world,

and tomorrow, you'll begin
to fulfill the wishes
of many children.

We'll make believe
you're statues.

The adults will wait outside
as you reveal the miracle
of yourselves to the young.

It'll be very good.
It'll be very good, indeed.

(CHILDREN CLAMORING)

(DR. BLEEB LAUGHING)

Thank you. Thank you.
I'll take them
from here, please.

Come on, children,
this way.

(CHILDREN GASPING)

Wow.
Wow.

Cool.
Cool.

All right, g*ng.
Go for it.

My name is Woog.
What's yours?

Leo.

(CHILDREN CHUCKLING)

Wow.

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Look.

Wow.

Hello, I'm Elsa.

Hi, there.
My name is Dweeb.

And I'm Rex.

(REX CHUCKLING)

Hi, I'm Max.
Hi, Max.

So, this'll be
our little secret, okay?

Okay.

My name's Nick.
I'm Frank.

Delightful.
Delightful.

Really, just a recipe
for delightful.

(CHILDREN CLAMORING)

And that's the way it is.

And that's
what happened, Buster.

The dinosaurs are
still at the museum.

What about the kids?

Oh, Louie and Cecilia are
quite the little couple now.

REX: And they made up
with their parents.

(TWITTERING)

Good night,
little tough guy.
Remember my story.

CHICKS: (IN SINGSONG)
Mama's little birdie.

Mama's little birdie.
Mama's little birdie.

(REX HUMMING)

(REX HUMMING)