05x01 - Musicale Finale

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Transparent". Aired: September 2014 to September 2019.
"Transparent" revolves around a Los Angeles family with serious boundary issues and their lives following the discovery that the person they knew as their father is transgender.
Post Reply

05x01 - Musicale Finale

Post by bunniefuu »

I need to talk to you about something.

There's a big change going on.

My whole life, I've been
dressing up like a man.

This is me.

(GASPS) I see you completely,

as, like, I've never seen you before.


Maybe you guys want to call me "Mom"?

Get a load of this. Mom.

My story is...

I am not at home in this family.

MAURA: There's Ali, she's my baby.

She just doesn't seem to be able to...

... to land.

ALI: I just don't feel good in my body.

I don't feel in my body.

SARAH: Love... I don't think I really

know how to actually do that.

♪ ♪


(CRYING): I didn't want to leave Len.

I don't even know what I want to do.




- Oh, f*ck.
- SHELLY: Joshy!

This is the rabbi!

Come out, come out.

♪ ♪

RAQUEL: We'll just try again.

JOSH: I just need...

just, like, not right now.

Not right this second.

MAURA: I'm so glad
to be rid of that wig.

Now you look much more powerful,

like a California Earth Mama.

DOCTOR: We have a
couple of things going on

in your heart that we
want to keep an eye on.

- We just have, just...
- There's something wrong with my heart?

♪ ♪

TEACHER: Shelly, time for class.



Come on, Shelly.

- Oh, dear.
- Hey.

- I guess we're ready.
- Okay.

♪ ♪

♪ Think I'll keep on driving
down Sepulveda Boulevard ♪

♪ Just to see how far I can go ♪

♪ Since I'm spending half my life ♪

♪ Going nowhere in this car ♪

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, Mom.

♪ Seems to me I have ♪

♪ The right to know ♪

♪ Just how far Sepulveda Boulevard ♪

♪ Really goes ♪

JOSH: My name's Josh Pfefferman,

a love and sex addict.


- GROUP: ♪ In L.A. ♪
- ♪ I'm this close to a thing ♪

♪ And I think it's about to come true ♪

- ♪ In L.A. ♪
- ♪ Picking up the kids ♪

♪ The dry cleaning,
then I'm heading to you ♪

♪ I'm only five miles away ♪

♪ But I think I'll be here all day ♪

♪ How can I be home ♪

♪ And feel so alone ♪

♪ When I'm always
just five miles away? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Carpools and playdates fade
to strip mall parking lots ♪

♪ Me and my to-do list on the road ♪

♪ Getting high on checking
all these boxes off ♪

♪ Getting high so I don't know ♪

♪ Just how far Sepulveda Boulevard ♪

- ♪ Sepulveda Boulevard, never rest ♪
- ♪ In L.A. ♪

♪ Just dump me off here at LAX ♪

- ♪ In L.A. ♪
- ♪ Keep on goin', hop a plane ♪

♪ New York, New Jersey, northern Spain ♪

♪ I'll see what my options are ♪

♪ When I'm more than a mom in a car ♪

♪ How can I be home ♪

♪ And feel so alone ♪

♪ When I'm always
just five miles away? ♪

♪ Think I'll keep on driving
down Sepulveda Boulevard ♪

♪ Seems to me I have
the right to know ♪

♪ Just how far Sepulveda Boulevard ♪

♪ Really goes... ♪

DAVINA: Time to get up, Maura.






Maura's d*ad.

♪ ♪



♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- What happened? The surgery...
- I don't know. I don't know.

JOSH: Does Mom know?

- Well, where is she?
- Call the kids.

- You have to call Bryna.
- (CRYING): Did Ari get here?

It's just, she... they were on the way

- to come to the surgery.
- What did the doctor say?

Davina went to wake her
up. She was already gone.

- Ruptured aortic aneurysm.
- I'm going to the hospital.

- I'm going to the hospital.
- I'm going to the hospital.

By the time you get to the
hospital, we're gonna be gone.

- Okay, got it.
- Where are you right now?

- Just meet us at Mount Israel.
- JOSH: Mount Israel.

SHELLY: Who the hell
picked Mount Israel?

♪ ♪


Anybody heard from your sister?

- Sibling.
- At a time like this,

- does it matter?
- It's not about you, Mom.

Can you believe they
want us to call them Ari?

Ali is nonbinary now?

- BRYNA: Ari is a very cute name.
- BOTH: Ari.

- SHELLY: I named her Ali.
- It means "lion" in Hebrew.

I like Ali.

JOSH: Mom.

- What?
- Your flashlight's on.

- No, it's not.
- JOSH: It's on.

This is the flashlight
button right here.

(GASPS) Oh. Ah, Ali, Ali, Al...

Ari, Ali... uh, uh, whoever you are,

- thank God you're here.
- Mom. Mom, stop hogging.

Thank God you're here,
you're here, you're here.

- You're here.
- Mom, stop hogging.


- Oh, Mom.
- Mom.


I'm so sorry.

- Ow.

Mom, you're stepping on my...



Does the family wish to see the body?

- Wish? Wish to see... ?
- Uh...

- Oh, no. No.
- Yes.

The family does not
wish to see the body.

- What are you talking about?
- Yes, we want to see the body.

SHELLY: No. It's not necessary.
We don't need to do that.

- Yes, we do.
- Who wants to see a d*ad body? No, no.

- I do.
- We would like to see the body. Yes.

- JOSH: Right now?
- Thank you. Yes, now.

- Yes.
- Right now?

SHELLY: No, we don't... we...

No, we don't need to go.
No, no, n... no, no, no.

Let... You stay with me.

That's good. No, you stay here.

You know what?

- Let's just remember her the way she...
- Mom. Mom.

I'm not you, okay? I'm me.


♪ ♪



♪ ♪





♪ ♪

YOUNG SHELLY: Come on, Maura.

- Go, really.

YOUNG MAURA: Shelly, I'm scared.

we're gonna do so good.



- YOUNG SHELLY: Ah, let's go.

- Come on, Maura.
- Let's go.

- Maura, Maura!
- Shelly?

Maura, wait up!


Ready, Shelly?

YOUNG SHELLY: Ah, let's go.

Come on, Maura. The audience is waiting.


(CRYING): Oh, no.

Oh, my sweet baby girl.

(SOBBING): Oh...


wait three to four hours

after the cremation

before the delivery of the cremains.

That's a common phrase...

the ashes of the departed loved one.

Upon which time they can be transferred

into an urn of your choice.

Uh, we have sites for
the interment of ashes.

- A niche in a columbarium.
- Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Are you talking about ashes? Why?

Maura wanted to be cremated, sweetie.


Ari, Josh, Davina just told me

that Maura wanted to be cremated.

Wait, wait. No. What... what... ?

Since when did she want to be cremated?

It's in her will.

- She discussed her will with you?
- Yes.

(STAMMERS) Jews don't cremate, do they?

Well, uh, some Jews do, yes. Not a lot.

But this is usually something

that folks consult
with their rabbi about.

Do you have a rabbi to consult with,

- or would you like us to recommend?
- No, we have one.

- Recommend one.
- We have a rabbi. We have one.

- No, please rec...
- We... we have a rabbi.

- Please recommend one.
- We need Raquel.

- Sarah.
- I can't.

- Sarah.
- FUNERAL DIRECTOR: We can arrange the funeral

- for Sunday morning.
- Sunday's perfect.

- Yes, let's do that.
- JOSH: Fine, but no Raquel.

ARI: Sir, thank you.

We'll do the service on Sunday
and the interment of the ashes.

- Interment.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Goodbye.

- I'll take you home.
- You believe these kids,

- making all these decisions without me?
- Bye.

- Bye.
- What... I'm sorry,

what are you... what are you doing?

What do you mean, what am I doing?

We need a rabbi? We have
Raquel. We need her now.

It's like you're trying
to k*ll me right now.

- Okay? Don't k*ll me.
- Guys...

- I'm a sex and love addict, okay?
- Oh, my God.

- I'm sober, and Raquel is my qualifier.
- It's not like heroin.

- How many times do I have to explain it to you?
- Guys, it doesn't matter.

Listen. I can lead the service.

In Israel, I was actually a priestess.

What? How can you be a priestess?

I thought you're not a woman anymore.

Exactly. Judaism is so binary, okay?

We need to change all of that.

Preferably by Sunday.

♪ ♪

(SIGHS) God.

I knew you'd be here.

Why'd you have to die?


You're free, Shelly.


Who's looking out for you?

If you had had me on the
DNR... the do-not-resuscitate...

I would have resuscitated you.

Then again, maybe I wouldn't
have resuscitated her.

She was a pain in the ass.

She treated me like a... (STAMMERS)

- Peanut.
- (LAUGHING): Yeah, a peanut she was allergic to.



I have so much inside me.

♪ ♪

♪ I waited too long to do all
the things I wanted to do ♪

♪ Don't let the same
thing happen to you ♪

♪ Shelly ♪

♪ Always trying to do what you should ♪

♪ Feeling bad for feeling good ♪

♪ We both did the best that we could ♪

♪ Shelly ♪

♪ What's true, Shelly? ♪

♪ Come through, Shelly ♪

♪ We need to sing our song ♪

♪ We've waited far too long ♪

♪ This pain inside of us ♪

♪ It came at quite a cost ♪

♪ Feel the joy arise in you ♪

♪ Do the things you were born to do ♪

- ♪ Time's ticking to the b*at of your heart ♪

- ♪ Time's kicking you to make a new start ♪

♪ You're much more than a Jewish wife ♪

♪ Sittin' pretty in your
pretty little Jewish life ♪

♪ Shake your tushy till
you shvitz and sweat ♪

♪ Shake your tushy
till they never forget ♪

♪ You're a star in the universe ♪

♪ Hell, call it a Shelly-verse ♪



♪ I waited too long to do all
the things I wanted to do ♪

♪ Don't let the same
thing happen to you ♪

♪ Shelly ♪

♪ Come through, Shelly. ♪

♪ ♪



♪ ♪





♪ ♪

ARI: Hey.

How did you know she was d*ad?


I spent the ' s burying my friends.

I know when the soul is
no longer in the body.


So, what do we... what do we do now?

Should I... should I hack
into her Facebook page

and let her friends know?

"Hi, everybody. I...

I died, and I'm having a funeral."

AVA: Hello?

- Hi. Turbo Nugz.
- ARI: Hi.

Sorry. I ordered marijuana.

Do you want anything?

- N-No.
- Okay.


Should I kick off my shoes or... ?

Oh, no, it's fine. Are you kidding?

- Look at this... thing.
- (CHUCKLES): Okay.


I'm Ava. She, her.


I'm Ari. They, them.


- Um... so, where shall I lay out my wares?
- Anywhere here.

I've been out of the
country for six months,

in Israel, and this
happened while I was gone.

Shit. Israel?

- Yeah.
- That's cool.

I was there for a bit, a while ago.

Oh, you were?

But I... I had to bounce.

That whole Jerusalem syndrome was just,

like, too much. (CHUCKLES)

The what?

You know the Jerusalem syndrome?

When you, uh... you go to Israel

and you think you're the Messiah?

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion

that the Messiah is not a person.

The Messiah is an idea.

And the idea is that we're all Messiahs.

AVA: ♪ Ah... ♪

ARI: Ooh, wow.

Oh, my God.

This is...



Oh, yes. Yes.

- I need this.
- Mm-hmm.

And I will take these, and...

- I think this.
- Great.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Totally insane that I can
pay for this on my phone.


If you follow me on social,
I'll give you a discount.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

- Turbo Nugz.
- Turbo Nugz.


Okay, um, I am following you.

Ari... Pfefferman.


- Gotcha.
- Cool.

Who's Shelly Pfefferman?

- Um, that is my mom.

Literally two seconds
after you followed me,

she followed me.

- Yeah, she does that. Um...
- Love that.

Does she like weed?

- Uh, she likes followers.
- Oh. Cool.

- Thank you.
- Yes. Thank you.



But be careful.

It's strong. (CHUCKLES)

Thank you.

♪ Promise to not look away. ♪

♪ ♪



Are you stoney baloney'd?

- SARAH: You guys,

she has some really
beautiful shit in here.

- Like, I... I mean, I got...

I'm gonna have to raid
this. Look at that.

JOSH: We're not doing kimonos right now.

Come on, it's pretty.

- I want to take it.
- Sarah, you're...

- Seriously.
- What?

Nobody's calling dibs on
anything right now, okay?

Just get in here and get on top,
'cause we're making a sandwich.

- And I'm gonna be the bread.

- ARI: You guys.
- SARAH: Hmm?

I think I can smell her
through this comforter.


She's still in these sheets.


Wait, that is...

There's something that's not Moppa.

- Oh, my God, it's probably Donald.

♪ ♪



♪ Vayomer Adonai ♪

♪ El-Avram ♪

♪ Lech-Lecha ♪

♪ Meartzecha. ♪

What's your mumble jumbo?

My Lech-Lecha portion,

from my bat mitzvah I never got to have.

- Oh, my God. Jesus. (SIGHS)
- Oh, yes. Yes.

It also happens to be this week.

Which is odd timing.

Do you guys want to know what it means?

- Uh-uh.
- Uh-uh.

It means that if you
leave your parents' house

and go out into the world

and do something different
than what they taught you,

that you will be blessed.

That your life will be blessed.

And... everybody who's
nice to you gets blessed,

and everybody who's
mean to you gets cursed.

- I like that.
- It's good.


- There she is.
- Oh! Oh!

My improv team!

- You made it. Oh.
- Shell, how are you?

You haven't been to class in months.

Hey, mama-la, missed you.

SHELLY: Oh, I got Entenmann's.

I bought for you. I got
for you. I put it out.

- Everybody can just take.
- We don't need Entenmann's.

If you have an idea for a project,

we want to support you.

SHELLY: I have quite a project.

I was up all night writing a play.

- Wow.
- It's about my family.

- Okay.
- Hello. Oh, wow.

- Ooh, ambitious.
- And I want all of you

- to play my children.
- Ha-ha.

Oh, thank you.

I cast each and every one
of you for your various,

uncanny resemblances to my children.

You, you look like Joshy.

You always looked like Joshy.

You, boy-girl, girl-boy,
just like my Ari... Ali...


And you... (GROANS) you'll do.

The muse came to me last night.

I had a death in the family.

- JEFF: What?
- Mm.

- What? Shelly.
- Oh, my God, Shelly.

- I'm so sorry.
- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.
- JEFF: May... may we ask who it is?

SHELLY: Her name was Maura.

She's my ex-spouse, my ex-partner.

She was...

(WHISPERS): fantastic.

She was trans.

Your kids' other parent...

- is a trans woman?
- JEFF: We have two moms.

- We have two moms.
- No, you don't have two moms.

No. Read the script, and you will see.

- It's all in there.
- Oh! Oh!

- Oh, my God. Oh, Shmuley.
- JEFF: This is a whole other dimension.

- Shmuley, Shmuley, Shmuley!
- I didn't know that we were...

- It's okay. Remain calm.
- SHELLY: Everybody, everybody,

this is Shmuley, my Uber driver.

Um, Shmuley is very shy, so
please don't speak to him.

He was, um, working in Albuquerque,

was the temple pianist.

I mean, the temple organist.

And so, we're gonna not talk to Shmuley,

but Shmuley is going to
score the entire show.

- Wow.
- Okay, sit down, darling.

Do one of those little things you do.

- You know.

Like that! Oh, oh! I almost forgot.

We have to find a trans
woman who can sing.

And I, uh, posted the
audition on all platforms.

So get out your phones
and share from my page.


Time to find our Maura.

ARI: Thank you.

- Uh, you're welcome.
- Oh.

I want some ketchup.

The fridge smells funky.

- What the f*ck?

- What?
- You don't just squirt the watery juice that...

Are these eggs free-range?

Hello. You shake it
up, and you pour it out

- just like...
- Okay. God.

How do you get by in this world?

SARAH: You want some, Ari?

ARI: Yes, please.

- Davina, you want some ketchup?
- No, thank you, Sarah.

JOSH: Mmm.

Hey, do you have a place lined up?

ARI: Where are you gonna live, Davina?

- SARAH: Guys.
- JOSH: Out of curiosity.

- No, no rush.
- JOSH: I'm just asking. I'm just asking,

'cause you're welcome. You're
welcome. I'm just trying

- to get an ETA on the whole...
- We know that Maura

would want you to stay
here as long as you need.

JOSH: Hold on a second, because I can't,

like, bear to look at the slimy eggs

going down your mouth
without the toast with it.

Before noon, I'm rooting
for you, afternoon.

- You have shit on your...
- JOSH: Oh, my God.

ARI: Somebody get it
off. I can't get it.

JOSH: It's fine. Just leave it.

- SARAH: It's... it's a huge glob on your face.
- JOSH: Just leave it.

We'll wipe 'em down at the
end of the meal. Who cares?

- Howard's here.

- SARAH: He is?
- JOSH: That's our lawyer.

- That's Howard.
- How did he know we were here?


Ali. Aw.

- Honey.

I go by Ari now.


Hi, honey.



What are you guys doing here?

We spent the night in her bed.


Oh, that's sweet.

What are you doing here?

I had an appointment.

You two had an appointment?


- ♪ You go first ♪
- ♪ After you ♪

- ♪ You're the lawyer ♪
- ♪ Yes, that's true ♪

♪ But I'm surprised she
hadn't even told them ♪

- Told us what?
- ♪ There's a will, there's a way ♪

♪ Why is this so hard to say? ♪

HOWARD: ♪ Maura came to
us with new instructions ♪

- ♪ Don't sh**t the messenger ♪
- ♪ Don't b*at around the bush ♪

♪ These are her wishes and
it's not our place to push ♪

- ♪ And we don't mean to throw you out ♪
- ♪ Or kick you in the tush ♪

♪ But Maura left this
g*dd*mn house to me ♪

- ♪ What the f*ck? ♪
- ♪ What the f*ck? ♪

♪ What the actual f*cking f*ck? ♪

♪ It's our house, you can't
just come and take it ♪

♪ Where's that will? Let me see ♪

♪ I can't read this legalese ♪

♪ Why would Moppa ever
want to change it? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Can't speak for Maura, I
don't live inside her brain ♪

♪ But I assure you she
was positively sane ♪

♪ And you kids haven't been around ♪

♪ So you kids can't complain ♪

♪ That Maura left this g*dd*mn house ♪

♪ Maura left this stinkin' house ♪

♪ Maura left this g*dd*mn, stinkin' ♪

♪ Giant, drafty, might
as well be haunted house ♪

♪ To me, to me. ♪



♪ ♪

♪ Where do we go? ♪

♪ We can't go home ♪

♪ I can't take this in right now ♪

- ♪ Let's just keep on walking ♪
- ♪ Nothing seems real ♪

♪ Nothing makes sense ♪

♪ We must have been blind somehow ♪

♪ Who's got a song?
Who's got a prayer? ♪

♪ I've got a pipe ♪

♪ That's not what we're doing ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ It's way too much, it's way too big ♪

♪ I can't breathe ♪

♪ Let's just keep on moving ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Your father's house ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Where did we go all of those years? ♪

♪ I can't let this in right now ♪

- ♪ Moppa, can you hear us? ♪
- ♪ Can't make it work ♪

♪ Doesn't compute ♪

♪ Are we to blame somehow? ♪

♪ You said you'd call,
did you check in? ♪

♪ You said you would ♪

- ♪ Don't be a f*cking assh*le ♪

♪ I did my best, we went to brunch ♪

- ♪ Where were you? ♪
- ♪ God, you are an assh*le ♪

♪ Oh, my children ♪

♪ This part of me was so forbidden ♪

♪ I'm reaching for you ♪

♪ From a prison ♪

♪ I endeavor ♪

♪ To lead you through
the darkest weather ♪

♪ The forest of the cruel and clever ♪

♪ It's worth it for this life... ♪

♪ Where have we been? ♪

♪ It's worth it for this life... ♪

♪ Where have I been
all of these years? ♪

- ♪ Where have we been? ♪
- ♪ I can't take this in right now ♪

♪ It's worth it for this life... ♪

♪ Where have I been
all of these years? ♪

- ♪ Where do we go right now? ♪
- ♪ All of these years ♪

♪ It's worth it for this life... ♪

- ♪ Where do we go? ♪
- ♪ Where do we go? ♪

♪ All of these years ♪

♪ It's worth it for this life... ♪

- ♪ Where do we go? ♪
- ♪ Where do we go? ♪


JOSH: Camp Kohenet?

ARI: Kohenet means "priestess."

I decided to find Raquel.

I called her.

Why would you do that?

There she is.


- Hi.
- Hi.

Yeah. Good to see you.



GIRL (QUIETLY): What's his deal?


Josh. Josh.

(WHISPERS): There's, like, kids here.

- I'm so... sorry.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Sorry.

What is this place? It's cool.

Uh, I am, uh, the resident
chaplain. (SNIFFLES)

I'm convening a Rosh Hodesh
retreat for adolescent girls.

Preparing them to greet
the onset of their menses

with a sense of wonder.

- It's pretty.
- Yeah, it's nice.

It's really nice.

SARAH: Yeah, maybe we
can move in with you.

'Cause we just lost our house, so...

Maura left it to Davina.

ARI: Yeah. It's...

We're... we're feeling a
little f*cked up, you know.


Why don't we... why
don't we talk inside?

- ARI: Hi.
- Hi.

SARAH: So do they, like, all get
their period at the same time?

Uh, why don't we talk
about it in a second.

- Wow.
- Wow.

- Cool space.
- Cool.

- Thank you.
- So, um...

My God, it's so good to see you. Listen.

I, uh... I was... actually
wanted to ask you something.

I... I wanted to, um, ask
you if you might do, like,

a little rabbi-ing
for us for the funeral.

RAQUEL: Oh. Um... (SIGHS) Girls?

Sorry. Girls, can you please... ?
We need some privacy.

- SARAH: It's, um...
- RAQUEL: Sorry.

- Yeah, it's, like, Sunday.
- Okay.

Um, well, Sunday is...
is not gonna work for me.

That's the... that's the day of

the c... culmination
ceremony for the girls.

And, um, you know, to be honest,
I've, uh, had to take a...

a s... step back from
the, you know, funerals

and the... grief component.

I haven't done any life cycle events

for a couple of years now.

I love all of these God's
eyes. They're so great.

- God-Goddess eyes.

Right, right.

Kohenet means "priestess." That's why.

I know. I'm actually thinking
about becoming a rabbi.

I think you would be a fantastic rabbi.


- Yes.
- Thank you.

One small problem: they
never had a bat mitzvah.

- Bart mitzvah.
- SARAH: Yeah, or if they ever

finished anything. They
just go from one thing

to the other thing to the other thing.

- Can we go? I think...
- SARAH: No, we can't go.

- No, I actually wanted to get your take on cremation.
- RAQUEL: Okay.

- SARAH: Who cares what her take on cremation is?
- Guys?

- We need a rabbi on Sunday.
- She doesn't want to do it.

- She doesn't want to do it.
- It doesn't... Look, she does.

- We have somebody for Sunday.
- We don't have...

- We don't have anyone else.
- We have somebody to run the service.

- Can we go now, please?
- She wants to do it. She just...

We have somebody else, and
they're standing right here.

- I get why. This is awkward...

By the way, did Mom text you
about changing the date again?

- She keeps texting me.
- Oh, my God.

Shut up!


♪ ♪

♪ Hey, you, wandering Jews ♪

♪ Can't be your Mary Magdalene
and sing away your blues ♪

♪ So listen up, bubbies,
'cause I've got news ♪

♪ You can't run away from your sadness ♪

♪ It'll find you ♪

♪ It's always right behind you ♪

♪ It's part of our chemistry ♪

♪ This specifically Jewish
emotional form of ADHD ♪

♪ Plus all this grief ♪

♪ It's a lot to muddle through ♪

♪ You can't run away from your anger ♪

♪ It'll find you ♪

♪ It's always right behind you ♪

♪ I think you three need to sit in it ♪

♪ Sit in all of it, the
obvious kinds of things ♪

♪ You're supposed to
feel when someone dies ♪

♪ You can't get through the shit ♪

♪ Unless you sit in it ♪

♪ You feel the burn until you earn ♪

♪ The stinging in your eyes ♪

♪ You need to sit in it ♪

♪ You need to sit in it ♪


♪ No, you need to sit ♪

♪ Oh, you need to sit in it ♪

That's right.

- ♪ Take it from me ♪

♪ I hate sitting, too ♪

♪ It takes a lot out of me ♪

♪ But that's what rabbis do ♪

♪ Sitting in the feelings
of everybody else ♪

♪ And you're running
from your feelings ♪

♪ Till you're chasing yourself ♪

♪ Out to the middle of nowhere ♪

♪ But at least it's somewhere ♪

♪ Goddess eyes, teenage girls ♪

♪ Beanbag chairs... ♪


♪ Oh, I'm gonna sit in it ♪

- ♪ Doo doot doo doo ♪

- ♪ Doo doo ♪

♪ Doo doot doo... ♪

♪ Why do crazy people like me ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like you? ♪

♪ You can't run away
from your feelings ♪


♪ They will find you ♪

♪ They will find you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, they will find you ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Oh, they will find you ♪

♪ Yeah. ♪

♪ ♪

SHEA: Well...

what exactly did it say?

- The will?
- Yeah.

It said, "I leave the
house to Davina Rejennae

and the profits to the trans community."

Wow. What is the... the profits?

- So, it's paid? The house is paid for?
- Uh, yes, the house is paid for,

but I have no idea what the profits are.

The profits need to go
to the trans community.

What do you think that
means? What did she mean?

Well, you can sell it.

Oh, my God. (SIGHS)

I don't understand
why she left it to me.

I don't understand why I'm
supposed to be responsible.

She's f*cking with me...
that's what's happening.

She's f*cking with me
from beyond the grave.

Why didn't she just leave everything

to the center to begin with?

Or why didn't she just
leave it to her kids?


Maura was a complicated girl.

I don't know what was
up her crazy-ass caftans

and her f*cking magical muumuus.




Hey, babe.

Oh, my God. There are no
words. There are no words.

There are no words. There are no words.

- There are no words. There are no words.
- Yeah. Yes.

- There are no words.
- Yeah, sounds like there's a lot of words.

- Well, there are no words.
- No, I got it.

- Thank you. I know.

Sorry about, um, drop-off and...

No, as soon as I got the call,
I dropped everything and...

Oh, yeah, and... and
I'm sorry I didn't...

- I got all your texts.
- I just want you to know

everything's been
handled. I got the kids.

- I picked them up and fed 'em.
- Thank you.

See, I told you she was
here. I told you she was here.

- Zacky said Grandma Maura died in the Holocaust.
- I told you she was here.

LEN: Guys, Mom's very sad right now.

Hey, what? No, she
died of a heart att*ck.

- ZACKY: No, I said that Dad said...
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- ... that there was an oven.
- Yeah.

- Dad said there was an oven.
- That Grandma Maura's gonna...

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, honey.
- LEN: I said...

- Put in an oven.
- Something in some "ation."

- Some "ation."
- What? No, cremation.

- I said cremation. I didn't...
- Why would you tell... ?

- ZACKY: He did.
- Cremation is not the Holocaust.

- LEN: I was explaining different options...
- ELLA: Grandma Maura...

- It's a completely different oven.
- ZACKY: Mom, he...

- It's a completely different oven.
- LEN: Burial.

I didn't say the Holocaust, guys.

ZACKY: Well, you didn't
make it clear, Dad.

Hey, don't... don't try
to get me in trouble.

ELLA: Mom, why did they burn
people in ovens in the Holocaust?


Why did they burn
Jewish people in ovens?

Why did you have to
bring up the oven thing?

- LEN: We don't have to talk about...
- What is that about?

I was explaining that when someone dies

- there are different options for a funeral.
- There's this guy, h*tler.

- Okay.
- h*tler?

Hey, you brought up the ovens.

And, um, he basically
was teaching people

that if you can be nice to each other,

you should be nice to each other.

- ELLA: What?
- ZACKY: No.

That is not who h*tler was.

- Your mom is a Holocaust scholar.
- Really?

He also is a really good example

that if you have a really bad idea,

you cannot trust
people to tell you that.

- I... I don't think...
- Why was there not one person who said to h*tler,

"Eh, you know, no, I don't
think that's a good idea, no"?

I... Like, the masses I get.

Like, the masses and the
following and the sheep,

I get all of that, but
there... where is the person

who is in the friend group or at brunch

or, you know, having dinner and saying,

"I think that's a really bad idea"?

I just don't think h*tler was
having dinner with friends.

Everybody... everybody's having dinner.

- ELLA: Stop touching me.
- ZACKY: Ow. What are you doing?

Certainly, h*tler ate dinner.

I'm not saying that
h*tler didn't eat dinner.

It would be impossible for him
to not eat dinner, historically.

ELLA: But, Mom, really,
why Jewish people?

ZACKY: Yeah, but seriously.

- Why Jewish people?
- Why Jewish people?

- I... I... Guys, I...
- Why us?

What's so awful about us?

Nothing. There's nothing awful about us.


♪ ♪

- EMPLOYEE: Time to go! Time to go.

- Come on.
- Time to go, kids. Come on. Move 'em out.

- Hey, lady.
- Hey.

You know, they told me
your friend passed away.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah. Thank you.

Things took a turn so fast.

I didn't realize it was dire like that.

They did, and then they didn't,
and then they did, and then...

I don't know.

I think I'm in shock.

I am. I'm... I'm in shock.

EMPLOYEE: Guys, plaza closes at : .

- You all know this.
- All right, all right.

It's : . See you all at dinner.

- Ugh.
- EMPLOYEE: Let's go.

ELIZAH: You shouldn't
have come in today.

No, I know that. I know.

But if I didn't come
in, what else would I do?

DAVINA: Skylar.


Oh, my goodness. Hey.

- Hi, Miss Davina.

- What are you doing here?

I didn't think I'd... Why are you back?

I tried to do the home
thing, and it didn't work.

Okay. Okay.

What's going on?

Where are you... Are you heading out?

Yeah, we're gonna go
look for jobs, but...

- would you hire us?
- Hey. Look, I'm a catch.

I am a formerly homeless,
still somewhat homeless kid.

I just want to graduate.

You know, when I moved,
they couldn't find

none of my high school transcripts,

so they wouldn't let me register.

I just want to graduate
and start my life.

- I know.
- I'm sick of it.

I know. I'm sorry.

- Oh, baby girl.
- Mm.

- (LAUGHING): Bye, Miss Davina.
- Okay. Okay.

Oh, my goodness.

- Bye, Elizah.
- Bye, Skylar.



- My God. Close it.
- Hold on, hold on.

- Oh, my God.
- What is the deal?

- Freaking nightmare.
- It never f*cking rains in L.A.

- It is... it is a nightmare.
- Okay, Mom's texting me again, saying,

"What about Tuesday or Wednesday?"

Can we do the funeral
Tuesday or Wednesday?

- She's lost her f*cking mind.
- Absolutely.

JEFF: I cannot believe
you would force Rita

to give up our baby for
adoption to protect me.

- ARI: What is this?
- JOSH: What the f*ck is that?

- JEFF: That is f*cked up!
- What?

- Did he just say "Rita"?

That is not f*cked up. That is love.

- Ha!
- Ha.

- Is that supposed to be us?
- Oh, oh, my tushies.

- Come here.
- Mom.

Tushies, come meet your doppel-bangers.

- Are you making a play about our family right now?
- Well, I...

- Did you just say "doppel-bangers"?
- 'Cause that's not gonna happen,

- because Maura just died.
- SARAH: Is this why you wanted to change the funeral day?

- No, I... I... The temple is only
- ARI: You are out of your mind.

giving me access to this room

- for a very limited amount of time.
- For this?

And I thought, if we
could do it on a Monday

- instead of on a Sunday...
- We're not changing the day of the funeral.

- Okay, okay. I hear you.
- There's one of you

- and one of you and one of me.
- I'm hearing. I'm hearing you.

- Oh, my God. That one looks exactly like you.
- That's you.

JOSH: No, it doesn't.
It doesn't look like me.

SHELLY: No, he looks just
like you. Yes, she's right.

Wait, why is my weed dealer here?

- Mom, why is my weed dealer here?
- No, that's my Maura.

- Oh, I... I didn't tell you I...
- Your what?

Are you a weed dealer?

I mean, I prefer "healer" to "dealer,"

- but kind of, yeah.
- Oh, okay.

But I don't understand how you got here.

Oh, magic... of Facebook.

Oh, that's the ring. Oh, my
God. Take this off, Punky.

- Mom, what are you doing?
- 'Cause I want to use it in the play.

- Mom, I'm wearing it.
- No, no, no, because I need to use it in the play,

because this is what
Maura proposed to me with.

- I'm wearing it.
- I'll give it back.

SARAH: No. You're not using

- a family heirloom for your play.
- I'm honoring Maura.

SARAH: What do you know
about honoring anyone?

- SARAH: Well, it has meaning to us, okay?

- It has meaning to me, too.
- It's a hard no!


♪ ♪

- ♪ Mom ♪
- What?

♪ It's a complicated thing ♪

♪ There are feelings and dynamics ♪

- ♪ Well, I have feelings, too ♪
- ♪ Of course you do ♪

♪ Like I'm feeling you're
being a bit too dramatic ♪


- ♪ Mom ♪
- Stop it.

♪ Sometimes you have
a way of dealing ♪

♪ Believe me, this is
hard for me to say ♪

- ♪ Just say it, Sarah ♪
- ♪ Say it, Sarah ♪

♪ You have to promise not to overreact ♪

- Ugh.
- ♪ Not to make faces, not to judge ♪

- ♪ Not to interrupt ♪

♪ Just listen ♪

♪ I have boundaries ♪

- Oy.
- ♪ I never knew I had them ♪

- Vey iz mir.
- ♪ I'm a true codependent ♪

♪ Making everybody happy
first instead of me ♪

♪ Boundaries ♪

♪ Yes, I know this word "boundaries" ♪

♪ It's a line someone
draws in the sand ♪

♪ That says, "Don't
cross over here to me" ♪

♪ But boundaries can be gentle ♪

♪ Little social reminders ♪

♪ Like the way you tap a kitty cat ♪

♪ On the nose ♪

Don't touch me.

♪ And boundaries can be dark lines ♪

♪ That grow deeper with more time ♪

♪ Honey, frankly I am not fine ♪

♪ With how this story goes ♪

- You're doing it again.

- You're not listening to me.
- SHELLY: Well, you're not listening to me.

- Okay, that's triggering.
- What is this "triggering"?

It's when I'm trying to
talk about my feelings

and you make it about you
and I get re-traumatized.

How are you traumatized?

By your complete invalidation
of our boundaries!

- Thank you.
- Of my boundaries!

Oh, please. Fine, I'm never going to say

- anything ever again.
- Okay.

- Oh, right.
- I will never have an opinion

around any of you ever again.
Happy? Satisfied?

- Mom, please.

All I'm saying is that
our parent just died,

and we would like you
to think before you speak

and act respectfully.

That's a lot to ask.

It's my boundary.

♪ ♪

♪ You have your baby ♪

♪ That fat little flesh pet ♪

♪ You breathe your life into ♪

♪ Those rolls, those pulkies ♪

♪ Inhale every inch, little bitch ♪

♪ Still attached to you ♪

♪ My beating heart, there you are ♪

♪ Driving off in your car ♪

♪ Did I say far too much? ♪

♪ Much too late probably ♪

♪ Please don't go very far ♪

♪ I'll always worry,
it's what I do best ♪

♪ Please don't take that away from me ♪

♪ You're still my baby ♪

♪ My door's always open ♪

♪ You know where I leave the key ♪

♪ I can feel all your feelings ♪

♪ Even dream all your bad dreams ♪

♪ I'm waking up from
a -year nightmare ♪

♪ And guess what I'm feeling, ugh! ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger ♪


♪ ♪

♪ When I was your age,
I'd do every chore ♪

♪ Anything that she asked me to ♪

- ♪ To quiet her rage ♪

♪ I was the pillow she
screamed every night into ♪

♪ So I promised I'd never ♪

♪ Do that shit to my daughter ♪

♪ I spackled and sanded
my anger and sadness ♪

♪ To make room for you ♪

♪ Now I'm starting to panic ♪


♪ I should've breastfed ♪

♪ I'm hearing we missed out
on magical bonding juice ♪

♪ I should've breastfed ♪

♪ I'm hearing neglect is
far worse for us than abuse ♪

- ♪ And we all blame the mother ♪

♪ Let's pile on to the mother
who gives like a charity ♪

♪ Gives like a giving tree ♪

♪ Left like a stump in
her forest of misery ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger ♪

♪ If I could ♪

♪ I'd shove you back inside me ♪

♪ From my belly you'd provide me ♪

♪ With a map that you could guide me ♪

♪ And you'd pull my cord ♪

♪ Like a gentle, soft reminder ♪

- ♪ As you stretch out my vagina ♪
- Okay. I'm out.

♪ My boundaries stretching wider ♪

♪ I would clench my thighs ♪

♪ And keep you there forever ♪

♪ I don't know boundaries ♪

♪ Never knew I should have them ♪

♪ So how could I ♪

♪ Know yours? ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger ♪

♪ Your boundary is my trigger... ♪


JEFF: Any notes?

Yeah, actually, I have a couple.

- Do I have to cut bangs?
- You know what?

Let's take it from the top.



♪ ♪

JOSH: What happened to the wood box?

They... I don't think they can
put that in the incinerator.

- This box is so little.
- Oh.

They're gonna burn this?

- I think. Isn't that, like, they... ?

I don't know, actually.
Are they gonna take her out?

No, they leave her in.

- Hi, family.

- My name is Diego.
- Hi. I'm Ari.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.

- Josh.
- Hi. I'm Sarah.

- Nice... nice to meet you.
- DIEGO: You are ready?

So, I turn on the machine.

You guys will hear a lot of noise.

I have to open this door
to roll in this cardboard.

And we place inside the retort.

- Would you like to help me?
- Okay. Yes, we would like to.

- SARAH: Oh, sure. Yes.
- We can do it now.

ARI: Okay, right now?

- DIEGO: Yes. Yes. Now.
- JOSH: Right now?

- ARI: Okay, where... where do we go with it?
- SARAH: Oh, wow.

- Right here.
- Okay.

- DIEGO: Okay.

ARI AND SARAH: Oh, my God.

SARAH: I thought that
was, like, a closet.

Oh, that's the... ?

That's it. That's the thing.


ARI: Oh, my God.


DIEGO: To me, a little bit.


ARI: Whoa.


- Oh, my God. It's warm in there.
- Whoa, don't...

- No, it's, like, warm.
- ARI: Okay, okay.

ARI: Let's just... let's say goodbye.


ARI AND SARAH: Bye, Moppa.

SARAH: We love you.

Excuse me, guys.

So, would you like to turn on the
switch to continue the process?

It's an option we give to the family...

if the family's going to do it
or someone else going to do it.

- We turn on the switch?
- ARI: Yeah, I... I would.

- SARAH: Uh, we do it?
- I want to do it.

- Can I do it? I want to do it. Please, yes.
- SARAH: Yeah, do it.

- I want to. Thank you.
- DIEGO: Okay. Of course.

- Okay. Come closer.
- Okay.

Turn this on.


DIEGO: One more.


DIEGO: And the last one.


- DIEGO: Thank you very much.
- ARI: Okay. Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- Okay. Okay.

Okay. We're doing the kaddish.

- Oh, my God. I don't know the Kaddish.
- Okay.

ARI: It doesn't matter.

- SARAH: g*dd*mn it, why...
- JOSH: Just read it.

I should have f*cking known
that we were gonna do this.

ALL: Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba.

- B'alma di-v'ra chirutei...

... v'yamlich malchutei b'chayeichon

uvyomeichon uvchayei d'chol beit

yisrael, ba'agala

uvizman kariv, v'im'ru.

ALL: Amen.

ARI AND JOSH: Y'hei sh'mei raba m'varach

l'alam ul'almei almaya.

- Oh.

Yitbarach v'yishtabach

v'yitpa'ar v'yitromam v'yitnaseh...

- ... v'yithadar v'yit'aleh

v'yit'halal sh'mei d'kud'sha

- b'rich hu...

... l'eila min-kol-birchata v'shirata...

... tushb'chata v'nechemata

da'amiran b'alma, v'im'ru.

ALL: Amen.

Y'hei shlama raba min-sh'maya

v'chayim aleinu va'l-kol

yisrael, v'im'ru.


ARI AND JOSH: Oseh shalom...

bimromav, hu ya'aseh shalom

aleinu v'al kol-yisrael, v'imru.

ALL: Amen.

JOSH: Priestess.

♪ ♪


♪ ♪

♪ ♪

The secret is that the boundaries...

Stay open, stay open.

Run from the secret.

♪ ♪


♪ ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ There's a land that I will show you ♪

♪ I will make your name a
blessing as you float on out ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ There's a lesson I will teach you ♪

♪ I will honor all who honor you ♪

♪ Curse all who curse you ♪

♪ And all of the families of the Earth ♪

♪ Shall bless themselves by you... ♪

♪ Adonai el-Avram ♪

♪ Lech-Lecha ♪

♪ Meartzecha umimoladtecha ♪

♪ Umibeyt avicha ♪

♪ El ha-aretz asher arecha ♪

♪ Veesecha ♪

♪ Umimoladtecha ♪

♪ Umibeyt avicha ♪

♪ El ha-aretz asher arecha. ♪

♪ And when you get home ♪

♪ You won't be alone ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Run from your father's house. ♪



♪ ♪





What's for dinner?

it's not meat loaf again.

What's in your meat loaf anyway?

(LAUGHING): What's in my meat loaf?


JOSH: Come to think of it,

Nacho the Turtle has been missing

for quite some time.


Hiya, kids.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.


Oh, do you mind watching
the kids tonight?

What's a supporting character for

if not to support your character?

I wasn't talking to you, Davina.

- I was talking to the TV.

- TV?!

What are you two
lovebirds up to tonight?

Lovebirds? Oh, I haven't
been in that nest since .

- Oh, Mort.


ARI: Dad.


I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that...

and leave.


♪ ♪

Ali, I want to talk to
you in my office, kiddo.


Oh... you're in trouble.

ANNOUNCER: The role of Ari Pfefferman

is now being played by Ali Pfefferman.


Did you die of a broken heart?

AVA (AS MAURA): It was
broken my whole life.

My grandfather was abusive.

My father ran off.

I never knew how to be
the parent you needed.


It is so hard

when someone sees something
you don't want them to see.

You know, it's not too late
to finish what you started.

And I tell you what, Grandma Rose
always wanted a rabbi in the family.

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Run from your father's house. ♪


ARI: You canceled my bat mitzvah

so you could go to some
dress-up camp in the woods?

♪ ♪





♪ ♪

♪ ♪


- Hi.
- Hi.

Are we the only ones here?

- I think so, yeah.
- Mm.

I was able to get ahold of some
of her friends at the center.

- Oh, that's good.
- Yeah.

Are your parents still alive?

Uh, my mother's alive.

But we don't really... talk very much.

Oh. Sorry.

I think I'm a little...

- too much for her.
- Mm.

That's too bad.

I've been thinking about how I always...

I always thought that
I was sort of a mess,

and then Moppa would
be there to save me.

But now I'm starting to wonder

if I was a mess so that
Moppa could save me.

Does that make sense? Like,
that that was the only way

she knew how to be a parent?

And so, what is it gonna be
like now that she's not here?


Do you know what I believe?

I believe that...

in order to honor someone who passes...

- Mm-hmm.
- ... if we let them into our bodies,

then they're never really very far away.

- That's nice.
- Yeah.

If we just take a breath...


... and let her in.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, there she is.


I tried to f*re the
rabbi. I tried to f*re him,

but, like, I... I just
totally couldn't do it,

- so just let him do it.
- Sarah. Come on.

No. (STAMMERS) He drove all the way

from West Covina, and we
already paid him, and...

Oh, come on, that is like minutes.

No, it's rush hour. It's
like an hour and a half.

I came all the way from Israel.

- Just... I promise...
- Israel.

Okay, let's just let it be for today,

and then I promise, from now
on, you are the family rabbi.


- SARAH: Hi.

Um, we just wanted to say,

and on behalf of Josh
and Shelly and Moppa,

that, of course, the house is yours.

- Just... Of course.
- Of course.

I mean, we knew that
legally, but, like, we know.

It's supposed to be yours.

Just to do whatever you want with.


Thank you.

♪ ♪


Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

I'm good.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

And involved. I'm seeing
someone, so... happy.

- That's so good.
- Yeah.

I guess we all just need a person, huh?

- Yeah.

A good, well-rounded person.

Non-selfish assh*le, preferably.


- Seriously?
- Yeah.

- It's so hard.
- Really.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

Moshe's here.


So nice to see you.

Finally, wow.

My boy, wonderful seeing you.

That's your grandpa.

- Ooh, hello.

Oh, I'm so glad you made it. (LAUGHS)

- Zacky and Ella.
- Nice to see you.

- Moira Pepperman was born in...
- Pfefferman.

... was-was born in

to Moshe and Rose Pepperman...

- Pfefferman.
- ... in the neighborhood, uh...

the Boyle Heights
neighborhood of Los Angeles.

Moira married Shelly Lipkind

and had three beautiful children,

Sarah, Joshua and Ah-lee.

- SHELLY: Ali.
- JOSH and SARAH: Ari.

M... Moi... Moira was an
esteemed professor and author.

She was a friend, a grandparent,

and she loved to travel.

(CHUCKLING): She hated to travel.

RABBI: When Abraham
came to mourn for Sarah

and to weep for her, he rose
up from the sight of his corpse

and talked with the Hittites, saying,

"I am a stranger and
a foreigner among you."

Infinite as is thy
power, so is thy love.

Thou didst manifest it
through Israel thy servant.

By laws and commandments... "

- When are you singing?
- At the end.

Do it now.

- Really?
- Yes, please.



RABBI: "Turn us in full
repentance unto thee

- and teach us to undo... "
- (WHISPERS): Excuse me, Rabbi.

I'm sorry. That's... that's great.

May I take the end of your speech?

- Thank you very much. Thank you.
- Uh...


♪ ♪

♪ Let her be okay ♪

♪ She flew out of the tree today ♪

♪ And let her find her way ♪

♪ I've got nothing but time to pray ♪

♪ Let me breathe today ♪

♪ She flew out of my tree today ♪

♪ Let me be okay ♪

♪ Can't do anything else but pray ♪

♪ Just lift my heart ♪

- ♪ And settle my head ♪
- ♪ Lift my heart and my head ♪

♪ Give me a sign ♪

- ♪ Give me a thread ♪
- ♪ Give me a sign and a thread ♪

- ♪ Quiet my mind of ♪
- ♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ Rewriting the lines ♪

♪ I should have said ♪

♪ Time to remind me she isn't mine ♪

♪ She's moved on ahead ♪

- ♪ We will be okay ♪
- ♪ We will be okay ♪

♪ We all fall from the tree ♪

- ♪ Someday ♪
- ♪ We will be okay ♪

♪ Lift our voices up ♪

- ♪ To pray ♪
- ♪ We will be okay ♪

♪ Help each other along the way ♪

♪ And we ♪

♪ Will be ♪

♪ Okay ♪

- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Let us be okay. ♪



SARAH: Oh, my God.

I didn't realize you came.

- Yeah.
- I didn't see you.

Yeah, I didn't want to bother you.


All your hair is gone.

- Are you good?
- I'm okay.

I almost, like, expect to
see some, like, thrupple baby

- on your hip. (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHING): Oh, God.

Yeah, no, I... you
know, I... I took Plan B.

(CHUCKLING): Yeah, I know, but still.

- Yeah. It was close.
- Would've been so cute.

- Yeah.
- With Len's hair

- and your freckles.

JOSH: Colton?

- Hey.
- What are you doing here?

Well, we saw the Facebook
post. Josh, we're so sorry.

By the way, this is Cadence.

Cadence, this is Josh, my birth father.

- Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you.

And this here is Braeden.

- Hi.
- CADENCE: Yeah, hold him.

- Grandpa Josh.

- There you go.
- Hi.

COLTON: Yeah, you're a natural.

Grandpa Moshe, you ever been a
great-great-grandfather before?

- Do I look that old?

You know, they say a baby
at a shiva is a blessing.

Oh, what's a shiva?

Well, well, well.

Little sprout.

- Hi.
- Hey.

How you doing?

I, uh... I've been laying low.

- We should all lay low.
- Why?

The right is puppeteering the left.

They are puppeteering the left.

And then the left eats their own.

We just gobble each other up.

You know, it's the same playbook.

It's over and over and over again.

f*cking scary, man.

Yeah. Yeah.

Wh... what's... what the f*ck is this?

Oh, it was, uh, Tante Gittel's ring.


- Yeah.
- Yeah?

You shouldn't f*cking wear this.

- This is an example...
- Mm-hmm.

- ... of what is happening now.
- Yeah, I'll just...

They're after us. They're
after people like us.

Want to sneak out for
some vegan doughnuts?

- I can't leave.
- Oh, come on.

- You love vegan donuts.
- I...

- Yeah, I know you do.
- They're... they're all right,

but this is, you know, Moppa's shiva,

- so I'm gonna... stay.
- Yeah.

But there is some... there's rugelach.


- Hey.
- Hey.

Just wanted to offer my condolences.

Thank you.

- Oh. Hey, Barb.
- Hey.


Barb and I are... we
got... we got back together,

because we kind of realized

being out there without each other

is just really... is just...

- It just... this feels right.
- It's too rough, right?

- Yeah. No, I get it.
- TAMMY: It's rough.

BARB: Yeah, this feels good.
Yeah, no, I'm... I'm with Len, and...

I... I have everything I need, so...

- You seem happy.
- I'm really happy.

We are, too.

- Yeah.
- SARAH: I mean, not today, but...

You know what I mean.

Guys, there's a f*cking pool out there.

- DAVINA: Mm-hmm.
- Can we go in?


Did you grow up in this place?

- Yep.
- It's really big.

Was it a happy childhood?

ARI: Uh, it made me who I am.

♪ ♪

My mom's not here.

She's probably rehearsing
her god-awful play about us.

You okay?



♪ ♪

JEFF: ♪ Life rewritten ♪

♪ Gripping onto twisted wisdom ♪

♪ Hoping all can be forgiven ♪

♪ We endeavor ♪

♪ To make it through
the darkest weather ♪

♪ The forest of the cruel together ♪

♪ It's worth it for this life ♪

♪ Life ♪

♪ For this life ♪

♪ Mmm. ♪


Oy. Oy.

So many people.

They spent way too
much money on the food.

Did you see the size of that
chub... that smoked sturgeon?

You know, it's all gonna
go bad, I promise you.

And they didn't buy enough Sweet'N Low.

- Or mustard. Mustard and Sweet'N Low.
- It's just a lot of...

They know that you have to have this...

A lot of Jewish people
doing a lot of Jewish things.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Are you Jewish?

- Really?
- Shelly.

I didn't know you were Jewish.

Now you're really my favorite person.

- You can't always tell by the nose.
- Listen...

Can't always tell by the nose. Can't.

Born and raised,

but fled the shtetl, we'll say.

It just didn't work out, so...

You know, I found other things.

Like, I'm sort of this
Buddhist, Catholic,

I don't know, Wiccan spiritual mutt.

- It works.
- Wiccan... that's like a witch, right?

- Yeah, I'm kind of a witch.

A Jewish witch.

- I'm a Jewish witch.
- Who knew?

I like that.


♪ ♪



You look so much like her.

I always felt that she was my bashert.

You know what that means
'cause you're Jewish.

Yeah. Yeah.

She was my... my meant-to-be.

Your soul mate.

- Soul mate.
- Meant-to-be.

And now that she's gone, I...

I guess there'll always be a
part of me that wonders if...

... she felt the same way.

♪ ♪

♪ You were different, you
were funny, you were real ♪

♪ And your love was a wave ♪

♪ That swept me far from myself ♪

♪ Now you're asking quite a question ♪

♪ So I hesitantly reveal ♪

♪ I knew that it had to be you ♪

♪ And your shoes ♪

My shoes?

- Let me finish.

♪ You're a narrow size six ♪

♪ And your taste is beautifully bland ♪

♪ Your extensive color palette ♪

- ♪ Is brown, beige and tan ♪
- ♪ Brown, beige and tan ♪

♪ Always comfort over fashion ♪

♪ So effortlessly planned ♪

♪ Oh, I knew that it had to be you ♪

♪ And I prayed for a way
for this longing to lessen ♪

♪ Then came tiny Shelly ♪

- ♪ Sent from miniature heaven ♪

♪ Your shoes were my clear sign ♪

♪ I could end my obsession ♪

♪ I could never make them work ♪

♪ 'Cause my feet would f*cking hurt ♪


♪ You were loyal ♪

♪ You were loving, you were mine ♪

♪ And I was who I am with you ♪

♪ For most of the time ♪

♪ When I wasn't, I was grateful ♪

♪ That you turned a blind eye ♪

♪ It was more than your shoes ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ It was you ♪

♪ It was ♪

♪ You. ♪

You were a wonderful partner

- and an even better parent.

Forgive yourself, Shelly.

JOSH: Oh, my God.

I can't believe all these
people are still here.

This shiva is endless.

Are we really supposed to
do six more days of this?

I slept with, like,
half the women upstairs.


Or, like, I want to.

No, you slept with more than half.

Is it weird that death makes you horny?

- No.
- Oh, there you are.

I couldn't find you.

- We... we're right here.
- Just chilling out.

ARI: (GROANS) It's so weird up there.

- JOSH: Oh, my God, it's so weird.

You know where my kids think Maura went?

- Hmm?
- They think she's in the Holocaust.

Ella asked me if she
went to the Holocaust.

'Cause that's what they think death is.

That's kind of what I think death is.

SHELLY: You know what I think sometimes?

That we need an equal and
opposite reaction to the Holocaust.

Not to forget it, but to
get over the Holocaust.

What... I'm sorry... could possibly be

an equal and opposite
reaction to the Holocaust?

Six million people...

feeling joy all at the same time.

JOSH: But for, like, years straight.

- It wasn't years.
- It was years,

from the beginning to the end.

- Jesus Christ.

I'm canceling my play.

JOSH: What?

It's not important.

You are.

You are not replaceable.

Maura is not replaceable.

My poor, sweet babies.

You lost her.

I didn't hold her.

I didn't hold you.

I just held on to you.

There's a difference.


♪ ♪


♪ ♪

It's okay.

♪ ♪

You want to know something crazy?

Today, to the day,

is the anniversary of Ari's...

- canceled bat mitzvah.


I even remember my Torah portion.


♪ Vayomer Adonai ♪

♪ El-Avram ♪

♪ Lech-Lecha... ♪

- Hold on.
- SARAH: Wait.

Don't let anybody leave.

♪ ♪


(SIGHS) How was the funeral?


It was awful.

Uh, you were greatly missed.

- Yeah.
- I'm sorry to bust up in here like this.

I'm sorry that I couldn't be there.

- I hope you understand.
- Oh, of course.

- Yeah.
- Of course. Absolutely.

- I get it.
- Okay.


Grief is...

like the ocean.

It comes in waves.

And like the ocean,

you never want to turn your back on it.

I know it hurts.

And I know it's hard.

But you have to face it.

- I have.
- Okay.

- So...
- It's made me realize how I...

haven't been there...

for... for my people.

For the people I love.

And it's making me realize I want to,

you know, show up.

So I was thinking that
I could maybe throw Ari

a surprise bat... bar...

bart mitzvah, and I... I need a Torah.


- Yes, I know.
- Okay.

You're sitting shiva.

This would be the worst time

- to throw a bart mitzvah.

That would be absolutely crazy.

Yes, and...

we got all the old people there.

- They're all dressed up.
- Josh Pfefferman!

And we have the chairs and the tables.

And it's Lech-Lecha.

What are the odds?

It's, like, now or never.

- (LAUGHING): This is crazy.
- I know. I know. It's insane. It's insane.

(SIGHS): God.

All right, come on.

- Oh, you people.
- Yeah? Okay.

♪ ♪

♪ And so it goes ♪

♪ And here we are ♪

♪ After all of these years ♪

♪ Searching for a warranty ♪

♪ And we the offspring ♪

♪ Springing off their king-size bed ♪

♪ They never even heard
what the rabbi said ♪

♪ Something like a vow
on the day they wed ♪

♪ To keep us warm and laughing ♪

♪ And all well fed ♪

♪ Well, that was them ♪

♪ While they lasted ♪

♪ But what went wrong? ♪

♪ What has time made? ♪

♪ What the hell? ♪

♪ All I know is I am them ♪

♪ I am homemade ♪

♪ And crazy people like you ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like me ♪

♪ And crazy people like you ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like me ♪

BOTH: ♪ And crazy people like me ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like you ♪

♪ To hang around so I ♪

♪ I can go crazy ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And now it goes ♪

♪ In different clothes ♪

♪ After all of these years ♪

♪ I hope it doesn't mean I'm lazy ♪

♪ But if it does, my love, my God ♪

♪ Here's the prose ♪

♪ Promise never to believe
in the right or wrong ♪

♪ Promise that you will
believe in this kind of song ♪

♪ And if you don't
intend to sing along ♪

♪ Say the words till they're easy ♪

♪ Sing them louder, was that easy? ♪

♪ All the rest is in the silence ♪

♪ In the temple when we find it ♪

♪ And crazy people like you ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like me ♪

♪ And crazy people like you ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like me ♪

♪ And crazy people like me ♪

♪ Pick crazy people like you ♪

♪ To hang around so I ♪

♪ I can go crazy ♪

♪ Hang around ♪

♪ Hang around ♪

♪ Hang around ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Let's go crazy ♪

♪ Let's go crazy ♪

♪ Let's go crazy ♪

♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪

♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy ♪

♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy ♪

- ♪ Let's go crazy. ♪


ARI: Oh, my God.

- Hi. Hi.

- Thank you.

Shelly. Shelly.


(LAUGHING): Here we go.

TAMMY: You know what, Josh?

You need to stop. You need
to stop. Let me go around.

- Why do I need to stop?
- You need to let me go around.

We're just moving tables.
That's all we're doing.

No, stop there. Stop so
that I can get around.

JOSH: Why does that
one have to go first?

- This can be the Torah table.
- 'Cause Moppa liked the white

in the middle and the colors on the end.

- Let's move this back a little.
- Oh, that's perfect.

- What was in that? Old books?
- Where did you find that?

- You have an ark in your home.
- We have an ark. We have an ark.

♪ ♪

This is Maura's tallit.

- Baruch atah Adonai.
- Baruch atah Adonai.

Eloheinu melech haolam...


♪ ♪


♪ ♪

♪ Amen ♪

♪ Vayomer Adonai ♪

♪ El-Avram ♪

♪ Lech-Lecha... ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ There's a land that I will show you ♪

♪ I will honor all who honor you ♪

♪ Curse all who curse you ♪

♪ And all of the families of the Earth ♪

♪ Shall bless themselves by you ♪

♪ And when you get home ♪

♪ You won't be alone ♪

♪ I promise to not look away ♪

♪ And when we get home ♪

♪ We won't be alone ♪

♪ Run from your father's house ♪

♪ Run from your father's house... ♪

♪ Mishpechot haadama. ♪


- WOMAN: Oh, oh, Shelly.

RAQUEL: No. Shelly. No, Shelly, don't...

- SHELLY: So good.
- Shelly.

Wonderful. You're wonderful.

(WHISPERS): Shelly, we
don't clap after a...

after a Torah reading.

I'm... I'm sorry, what?

We don't clap after a Torah reading.

We say, "Yasher koach."

There are a lot of rules about
what we do when the Torah is out.


- Okay.
- SHELLY: This is not okay.

RAQUEL: Now we are
gonna dress the Torah,

and we'll say a couple of prayers.

SHELLY: That's too many rules.

So many rules. It's so terrible.

It's, like, it's okay, but
it's fear and self-loathing.

- Okay.
- Everyone feeling like they're in trouble all the time,

and the next thing you know...

♪ We Jews ♪

♪ Got a painful history ♪

♪ That we choose ♪

♪ To convey in minor keys ♪

- ♪ And we say never to forget the pain ♪
- ♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Never to forget the shame ♪

♪ So our songs, they always sound ♪

♪ The same... ♪

- Oh, my God.
- ♪ Now I admit ♪

♪ I like a nice yidle dydle day ♪

♪ Yidle dydle day ♪

♪ Might I submit ♪

♪ There's gotta be a better way ♪

- ♪ Better way ♪
- ♪ Even when we pray ♪

♪ We're standing up and
then we're sitting down ♪

♪ This meshugana moving around ♪

♪ Well, it's trapped in our DNA ♪

♪ Poor Jews ♪

♪ Listen to me ♪

♪ I know what we yidle
dydle dydle dydle need ♪

♪ We need a Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ For all the lives we've lost ♪

♪ This pain in all of us ♪

♪ Remains at quite a cost ♪

♪ Six million ain't no joke ♪

♪ We win for losing folk ♪

♪ Need a celebration of the soul ♪

♪ For this extermination Super Bowl ♪

Help me out now!

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Don't worry, we will never forget ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Shake your tushies till
you shvitz and sweat ♪

♪ Take the concentration
out of the camps ♪

♪ Concentratin' on some song and dance ♪

♪ Even start a new romance ♪

♪ Or give a schmuck a second chance ♪

♪ They nailed Jesus to the cross ♪

♪ Sure, that's one tragic loss ♪

♪ And he died for a lotta y'all's sins ♪

♪ But they tattooed
numbers on our skins ♪

Help me out now!

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Hell yes, we crossed the line ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ That's why we're feelin' fine ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Survive and put on a show ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Now joy is all we know ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

- ♪ Jews got a painful history ♪
- ♪ I ain't replacing history ♪

- ♪ Just erasing the misery ♪
- ♪ A painful history ♪

- ♪ Drowning out a little anxiety ♪
- ♪ A painful history... ♪

♪ Peppin' up my yidle dydle dee ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Rising up from the
mishi-mishi-mishigas ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Heal this wound in all of us ♪

♪ We're gonna tear it down ♪

♪ We're gonna build it right up again ♪

♪ And we promise to not look away ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪
- ♪ Joy-A-Caust, hey ♪

- ♪ Come on, come on, come on, yeah ♪
- ♪ Somebody sing ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ f*ck yeah, we're
crossing the line, yeah ♪

- ♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪
- ♪ J-J-J-J-Joy ♪

♪ We're feeling fine ♪


♪ Joy-A-Caust ♪

- ♪ Mmm... ♪
- ♪ Joy-A-Caust ♪

- ♪ Joy, joy, joy ♪
- ♪ Breathe in all of the pain ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

- ♪ Caust, caust, caust ♪
- ♪ Let it pump through our veins ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust ♪

- ♪ And when we get home ♪
- ♪ Joy-A-Caust ♪

- ♪ We won't be alone ♪
- ♪ Joy-A-Caust ♪

- ♪ And we promise to not look away ♪
- ♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Hell yeah, we will never forget ♪

- ♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Shake your tushies till
you shvitz and sweat ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

♪ Survive and put on a show ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

Hey, y'all, I have, uh, barbecue.


- Hi, guys.
- Hey.

Got the challah.

- Oh, good!
- Take this. Take this.


♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust ♪

- ♪ Now joy is all we know ♪
- ♪ Joy-A-Caust, Joy-A-Caust... ♪

♪ Joy-A-Caust! ♪

♪ ♪
Post Reply